Easter First Drafts with Evie (Extended)

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Late Show Pod Show with Stephen Colbert

Episode: Easter First Drafts with Evie (Extended)
Release Date: April 19, 2025

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Introduction

In the "Easter First Drafts with Evie" episode of The Late Show Pod Show with Stephen Colbert, host Stephen Colbert engages in a delightful and humorous conversation with his wife, Evie McGee. The episode centers around the creation and evaluation of Easter cards, showcasing the comedic contrast between initial poor drafts and the polished final versions. The lively banter between Stephen and Evie provides listeners with both laughs and relatable insights into holiday preparations.

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Segment 1: Setting the Stage for Easter Cards

Stephen Colbert kicks off the segment by introducing the theme of Easter cards, highlighting how not all first attempts hit the mark. He sets the premise for showcasing "poor choices" in Easter card drafts before presenting the refined versions.

Notable Quote:

"A lot of people like to send Easter cards, but the folks who write them don't always get them right the first time."
- Stephen Colbert [03:01]

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Segment 2: Presenting the First Drafts vs. Final Cards

Stephen and Evie delve into specific examples of Easter cards, comparing the initial drafts to the final, more thoughtful versions. This segment underscores the humor in poorly executed messages versus their improved counterparts.

1. Egg Cellent vs. Used Batteries

   • First Draft: "To my son, happy Easter. Eggs are too expensive. So this year we're hiding used nine-volt batteries."
     Stephen Colbert [04:37]

   • Final Card: "To my son, happy Easter. I hope it's egg cellent."
     Stephen Colbert [04:37]

   Notable Quote:

   "But the first draft said, to my son, happy Easter. Eggs are too expensive. So this year we're hiding used nine volt batteries."
   - Stephen Colbert [04:38]

2. Simple Messages vs. Overcomplicated References

   • First Draft: "Here's an Easter egg. Danny's Apollo 11 sweater in The Shining is Kubrick's confession that he staged the moon landing."
     Stephen Colbert [05:21]

   • Final Card: "Here's an Easter egg. Hope you get a lot in your basket."
     Stephen Colbert [05:21]

   Notable Quote:

   "That's really lovely. But the first draft said, Easter has come and he has returned to us all."
   - Stephen Colbert [07:09]

3. Sweet Messages vs. Dark Humor

   • First Draft: "How do you make Easter eggs? First you gotta find a hot chicken, then a horny rabbit."
     Stephen Colbert [06:39]

   • Final Card: "How do you make Easter eggs? With a lot of love."
     Stephen Colbert [06:39]

   Notable Quote:

   "That's a great holiday movie, The Shining. Great holiday movie."
   - Stephen Colbert [05:39]

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Segment 3: Personal Anecdotes and Interactions

Throughout the episode, Stephen shares personal stories and interacts warmly with Evie, adding depth and relatability to the discussion.

1. Marital Dynamics and Support:

   Stephen reflects on how compliments and mutual support have strengthened his marriage, especially during anxious times like their wedding.

   Notable Quote:

   "That's how you stay happily married."
   - Stephen Colbert [03:36]

2. Family Matters:

   A brief mention of Stephen's brother Tommy Morrissey and the humorous discussion about burial plots adds another layer of personal touch to the episode.

   Notable Quote:

   "We are all born astride at graves. It's true."
   - Stephen Colbert [07:22]

3. Political References:

   Evie mentions a visit from Elizabeth Warren, leading to a short dialogue about political figures and public sentiment.

   Notable Quote:

   "I think she was worried something might go wrong at the wedding."
   - Evie McGee [04:23]

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Segment 4: Reflecting on Holiday Traditions

Stephen and Evie discuss the significance of Easter traditions, blending humor with heartfelt sentiments about celebrating the holiday amidst personal and societal changes.

Notable Quote:

"It's Easter. You know, Jesus is listening."
- Stephen Colbert [06:24]

They navigate through various Easter-themed humor, emphasizing the balance between maintaining traditions and introducing personal touches.

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Conclusion and Final Thoughts

The episode wraps up with Stephen presenting the final, polished Easter card drafts, contrasting them with the earlier humorous first attempts. The light-hearted exchange underscores the importance of thoughtful communication, especially during festive times.

Notable Quote:

"On my tombstone, I wanted to say... I'm not here."
- Stephen Colbert [08:31]

Evie’s Response:

"The first one's better. I'm not here. Then it gets to be, like, slightly spiritual, and then people are going to be like, oh, was he Christian? Did he believe he's gone to heaven? Or whatever."
- Evie McGee [08:55]

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Key Takeaways

• Humor in Imperfection: The episode highlights how initial attempts, even if flawed, can lead to better outcomes through collaboration and creativity.

• Personal Connections: Stephen's interactions with Evie provide a glimpse into relatable marital dynamics and the support system behind the scenes.

• Balancing Tradition and Innovation: The discussion emphasizes maintaining holiday traditions while allowing room for personal expression and humor.

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Final Remarks

"Easter First Drafts with Evie (Extended)" is a charming episode that combines humor, personal anecdotes, and creative insights into holiday preparations. Stephen Colbert and Evie McGee's chemistry makes the episode both entertaining and engaging, offering listeners a delightful blend of laughter and warmth as they approach the Easter season.

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Note: For more clips and exclusive content, listeners are encouraged to visit The Late Show YouTube channel.

Transcript

[Tommy Morrissey]

I've been counted out, dismissed, passed over, told I'd never be a golfer with just one arm. But the only thing that feels better than proving people wrong is out driving them. I'm 14 year old golfer Tommy Morrissey and I want to be remembered for.

[Bank of America Representative]

My ability as a champion Partner of the Masters. Bank of America supports everyone determined to find out what's possible in golf and in life. What would you like the power to do? Bank of America bank of America NA Member FDIC Copyright 2025 bank of America Corporation. All rights reserved.

[IXL Learning Representative]

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[Stephen Colbert]

Folks, Folks, it's almost Easter, the beautiful day where Christians across the globe celebrate by feeding their children a basket of chocolate, then complaining when they're fidgety in church. A lot of people like to send Easter cards, but the folks who write them don't always get them right the first time. So let's take a look at some of those poor choices in my segment. First Drafts. No, no, stupid. Of course. I can't do this without the help of my lovely wife, Ev. Come on out, darling. Wow. Oh, I love this. That's wonderful. Thank you. Oh, one of my faves.

[Evie McGee]

Thank you.

[Stephen Colbert]

Please have a seat. There you go. There you go, hi. Hi, darling. Nice to see you.

[Evie McGee]

Nice to see you.

[Stephen Colbert]

I love the dress. It's very springtime. It's very Eastery. Right? Very nice. Thank you. Speaking of Easter, I got you a basket. Your favorite.

[Evie McGee]

Ooh, yay.

[Stephen Colbert]

Maltesers. Yes. It's the only malted milk balls that Evie will give.

[Evie McGee]

Oh, I have some right now.

[Stephen Colbert]

Yeah, I'm gonna have one, too. There you go.

[Evie McGee]

Oh, it's stuck on me. Thank you. That's pretty.

[Stephen Colbert]

It is.

[Evie McGee]

Hi.

[Stephen Colbert]

Hi.

[Evie McGee]

What's the matter?

[Stephen Colbert]

Nothing. I'm just waiting to eat chocolate. I can't talk until I finish swallowing.

[Wayfair Representative]

All right.

[Stephen Colbert]

I learned that from David Letterman. All right, my darling.

[Evie McGee]

Yes.

[Stephen Colbert]

You know how this works.

[Evie McGee]

I do, I do, I do.

[Stephen Colbert]

So what's going to happen is that we're going to show you a lovely Easter card that you might find in the store. That'll be the first card that we show everybody. And then we will show you a second bad first draft that was not good enough to sell. Are we all clear?

[Evie McGee]

I'm thinking excellent.

[Stephen Colbert]

Yes.

[Evie McGee]

Maybe the chocolate was a bad idea. Do I have chocolate all over my teeth?

[Stephen Colbert]

I'll never tell you. No, you do not have chocolate on your teeth.

[Evie McGee]

Okay, good.

[Stephen Colbert]

You're perfect in every way. Yeah.

[Evie McGee]

Thank you.

[Stephen Colbert]

So before we. That's how you stay happily married.

[Evie McGee]

Ok. And I know he means it.

[Stephen Colbert]

I do. Didn't I say that to you before we got married?

[Evie McGee]

You did.

[Stephen Colbert]

It was about a week before we got married. And you were extremely anxious to. No, you were extreme.

[Evie McGee]

No.

[Stephen Colbert]

You were extremely anxious that something was going to go wrong at the wedding. And I turned to you and I said, you are perfect in every way. And you said, oh, my God, am I that bad? And I said, I think I just felt like I needed to throw a blanket one out there.

[Evie McGee]

But I think I was worried something might go wrong at the wedding. I think you were worried that you were getting married.

[Stephen Colbert]

Okay, let's move on.

[Tommy Morrissey]

All right.

[Stephen Colbert]

Celebrate Easter together. Give me the top card, my love. Okay. Here's a great one for a little boy. To my son, happy Easter. I hope it's egg cellent.

[Evie McGee]

Very cute.

[Stephen Colbert]

Isn't that nice?

[Evie McGee]

Yep. Yep.

[Stephen Colbert]

The first draft said, to my son, happy Easter. Eggs are too expensive. So this year we're hiding used nine volt batteries. Yeah. There you go. There you go.

[Evie McGee]

We didn't dye any eggs this year.

[Stephen Colbert]

We did not dye. Well, is this the first year we haven't dyed eggs just because there's been no kids around this year?

[Evie McGee]

No, I know. It's sad.

[Stephen Colbert]

Yeah. We're gonna be going home to South Carolina without any children. No one's coming. No one's coming. Interesting.

[Evie McGee]

Very sad. But I did send them Easter baskets.

[Stephen Colbert]

You should not have done that.

[Evie McGee]

Why?

[Stephen Colbert]

Because they have to be with us for the Easter bunny to find them. You know what I mean? This one's sweet. Here's an Easter egg. Hope you get a lot in your basket. Simple message.

[Evie McGee]

Very sweet.

[Stephen Colbert]

But the first draft said, here's an Easter egg. Danny's Apollo 11 sweater in the shining is Kubrick's confession that he staged the moon landing. That's the Easter egg. Double.

[Evie McGee]

I get it. Thank you.

[Stephen Colbert]

Double Easter egg.

[Evie McGee]

I know what Easter eggs are.

[Stephen Colbert]

Oh. Just making sure. That's a great holiday movie, the Shining. Great holiday movie.

[Evie McGee]

By the way, I had a lovely visit with Elizabeth Warren. She's amazing.

[Stephen Colbert]

Oh, yeah. Okay.

[Evie McGee]

She just makes you feel better.

[Stephen Colbert]

Anything you. I'm talking to her in a minute or anything I should ask.

[Evie McGee]

Well, I mean, she just makes me feel like she's going to help us.

[Stephen Colbert]

Ok. All right.

[Evie McGee]

We'll see.

[Stephen Colbert]

We'll see, we'll see, we'll see.

[Evie McGee]

We need somebody.

[Stephen Colbert]

What? Come on. You know what? We're all going to have to do it ourselves.

[Evie McGee]

I know.

[Stephen Colbert]

It's not going to be somebody in Washington. It's going to have to be. Once again, the American people are going to have to do it.

[Evie McGee]

The clip you showed, I want a T shirt that just says, I'm pissed. Like that guy who yelled, oh, I'm pissed.

[Stephen Colbert]

Right.

[Evie McGee]

Let's get T shirts. I'm pissed. I am. I'm pissed.

[Stephen Colbert]

Wow. Nice mouth.

[Evie McGee]

I know.

[Stephen Colbert]

It's Easter. You know, Jesus is listening. How about this card? How do you make Easter eggs? With a lot of love.

[Evie McGee]

Very sweet.

[Stephen Colbert]

Oh, that's really. That's really lovely. But the first draft said, how do you make Easter eggs? First you gotta find a hot chicken, then a horny rabbit. Like really horny. Nope. I know how horny you're thinking. I'm telling you, even H. That got applause. That got applause.

[Evie McGee]

I think they like the. I think they like the first drafts better.

[Stephen Colbert]

They like the. Yeah, I think most people do. Okay. This one is fun. It says a tisket, a tasket. Here's your Easter basket. That's nice.

[Evie McGee]

Very sweet.

[Stephen Colbert]

First draft said, a tisket, a tasket. I bought you a casket. I know that seems intense, but you can never be too prepared. We are all born astride at graves. It's true.

[Evie McGee]

That's super dark.

[Stephen Colbert]

It's True. Remember, I was. Remember.

[Evie McGee]

I know what you're gonna say. What are you gonna say?

[Stephen Colbert]

About brother Tommy?

[Evie McGee]

Yeah.

[Stephen Colbert]

About how up in Rochester. Cause we got the cousins up there, and evidently, like, my grandfather bought a bunch of plots up in Rochester. And we got a message recently going like, you guys want any of these plots? These are, like, free if everybody wants them. And my brother Tommy went, I'll take one. Tommy's always looking for a bargain.

[Evie McGee]

I don't want to be buried up there. It's cold.

[Stephen Colbert]

No. We said to Tommy, if you're buried in Rochester, we will never visit your grave. Do you want to be cremated? This is a great discussion here. Do you want to be cremated, or do you want, like, the whole. Whole thing? Whole casket and all that?

[Evie McGee]

I'm fine with cremation.

[Stephen Colbert]

Casket, baby.

[Evie McGee]

I know.

[Stephen Colbert]

Casket for me. And I don't want any circumstance. And I don't want a celebration of my life. I want everyone sad. I want gr. I want you to weep. I want you to weep. Claw at your chest and rub ashes on your head.

[IXL Learning Representative]

Weep.

[Stephen Colbert]

Weep like the great Achilles for Patroclus. There you go. And on my tombstone, I wanted to say.

[Evie McGee]

I know.

[Stephen Colbert]

Oh, well.

[Evie McGee]

Go ahead.

[Stephen Colbert]

What?

[Evie McGee]

Go ahead.

[Stephen Colbert]

Well, I thought it was funny. Yeah. I got a new one. I got a new one. I think I wanted to say, oh, what, I'm not here.

[Evie McGee]

The first one's better. I'm not here. Then it gets to be, like, slightly spiritual, and then people are going to be like, oh, was he Christian? Did he believe he's gone to heaven? Or whatever. I thought it was funny. It was better.

[Stephen Colbert]

I agree. I agree. I was testing you.

[Evie McGee]

You're perfect in every way.

[Stephen Colbert]

Here's the final card. Here's the final card. Final card. Thank you.

[Evie McGee]

Sorry. I'll be.

[Stephen Colbert]

You're perfect in every. You don't need to do anything. Here's a card that says, Easter has come and he has returned to us. May you feel his love this day. You know, that's too classic. There you go. But the first draft said, Easter has come and he has returned to us all. New Tracker tonight on CBS, 8, 7 Central. My darling. Happy Easter. Happy Easter, Evie McGee, everybody. Thank you for listening to the Late Show Pod show with Stephen Colbert. More thing. If you want to see more of me, come to The Late Show YouTube channel for more clips and exclusives.

[Wayfair Representative]

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[Stephen Colbert]

Wayfair Every style, Every home.