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Michelle Yeoh
On January 24, Academy Award winner Michelle Yeoh takes command.
Star Trek Character
Gather your people. We're gonna need every one of them.
Michelle Yeoh
In Section 30, a new Star Trek original movie on Paramount.
Star Trek Character
Plus, Section 31 is just a place for people to bend the rules.
Stephen Colbert
Starfleet is here to make sure no one commits murder.
Star Trek Character
What a cute idea. This is chaos. Let's get messy.
Michelle Yeoh
Don't miss the worldwide premiere of Star Trek Section 31, streaming January 24th, exclusively on Paramount Plus.
Stephen Colbert
Please have a seat, my friends. Welcome one and all in here, out there, all around the world, Mr. And Mrs. America and all the ships at sea to the late show. I'm your host, Stephen Colbert. And folks, you can tell these people are excited for Super Bowl Sunday. Me too. I love everything about the Super Bowl. The commercials, the halftime show, the beers, the seven layer dip, the chips to dip in the dip, the wings and the growing pile of wing bones that make me feel like an ancient king wiping my hands on my dog. On top of all of that, during the super bowl time permitting, there will be a football game this year. This year the matchup is Kansas City Chiefs, who are hoping to win a third straight title versus the Philadelphia Eagles, who yeah, baby. Who are hoping their mascot doesn't die of bird flu. Taylor Swift will also be in attendance to support boyfriend, the chief superstar, tight end, Taylor Swift's boyfriend. Oddsmakers, Oddsmakers. This is gonna be a tight matchup, right? Yeah, they think it's gonna be a tight matchup. So if you're wagering on the super bowl, you need to get yourself a system, okay? Foolproof mine. This year's every year is listen to psychic zoo animals. So far, a menagerie of creatures have made big game predictions, including a tiger who picked by mauling a cardboard box with their logo on it, a skunk who chose the Eagles using food bowl technology and a groundhog who sent the clear message, let's go Eagles. And also, I am sad in this cage. Now, to place all your animal based sports bets, head over to draft chimps. Draft chimps? Where did Tyler's college fund go? Only Bobo knows. Do not hold out on Bobo. He will bite Your face off. Down in Washington, Elon Musk and his crew of teenage mutant incels continue to tear apart 250 years of democracy like seagulls fighting over a bag of french fries. Among other disruptions, they're trying to fire everyone who works for the federal government. And as part of that, yesterday, the White House ordered the CIA to send an unclassified email with the names of all employees hired by the spy agency over the last two years. Now look, I'm no double O Ethan Hunt, but I feel like a list of CIA agents should have a little more encryption than a random email from your mom saying, did you go to school with Tyler Barnes? Met his cousin today. Guitar emoji. Did Tyler play guitar? Did you play guitar? Or did she think meeting him just rocks? There's no way of knowing. The unclassified email contains a list of names of new hires who, because they were hired recently, are technically still on probation and thus easy to dismiss. But do not worry. According to one White House official, the agents identities would be protected because the list only included the first names and first initial of the last name. Well then that is an uncrackable code. For example, it's so easy to use. For example, I could say, I think it would be funny and good for America if obvious fascist Elon M got his junk stuck in a four slice toaster. And you'd have no idea who I meant. Legally, Trump's goons are also doing increasingly useless things just to scour the government clean of any trace of dei. Recently, this picture went viral of a worker at the FBI Academy painting over a mural of words like diversity, fairness, compassion and respect. And at one intelligence agency office, the anti DEI squad reportedly confiscated a plaque from a supervisor's desk that read be kind to everyone. They also changed the break room motivational poster to read, give up, stupid. Friday's not coming. It's not just the FBI and the CIA. It's not just our intelligence. No federal agency is safe from the anti compassion cyber dorks at the National Atmospheric Administration. Noaa, the new administration urinal police checked bathroom signs to ensure they complied with Trump's executive orders. What a waste of time. The only bathroom signs that should be taken down are the confusing ones in theme restaurants. How am I supposed to know if I'm a ranch hand or a cattle rustler? Give me a silhouette. Give me a gun or a lasso. Now. NOAA is the agency in charge of the National Weather Service, and DOGE has gained access to their IT systems where they're searching High and low for dei. Oh, yeah. Well, everybody knows the weather is full of dei, okay? Snowflakes are girls, tornadoes are boys, and sleet is bisexual. Is it rain? Is it snow? It could go both ways this week. And good for it. I'm not judging you. Sleet this week. DOGE also sent the National Weather Service, so called buyout offers. More buyout offers. Man, when it rains, it pours. I think there's no way to know anymore. This is a difficult time to start, right? It's not the best time to be kicking more people out of the weather surface since they're already suffering their lowest staffing in decades. Everyone there is at the end of their rope. That's why in every forecast, the sun is wearing sunglasses. Because she's been drinking. The weather service, it's a critical function. They're in charge of ensuring Americans have sufficient time to evacuate before a hurricane or tornado. But under the regime of Elon's pubescent net rangers, tornado warnings are going to be a little different. Hey, kids. Kids, get in the house. The government just sent me a meme that says skibidi basement. I don't know what it. I don't know what it. Okay, Elon and the crypto chipmunks are also getting their hands for some reason on our aviation safety, thanks to a decision by Trump's Transportation Secretary and lumberjackass, Sean Duffy. Yesterday, Secretary Duffy tweeted, big news. Talk to the DOGE team. They are going to plug in to help upgrade our aviation system. I've also got big news. I just bought an Amtrak rail pass. Here's a bar car. Trains very rarely associated with the words plunge and plummet. We don't have any details yet about what Musk is going to be doing to our aviation system, but he did tweet the OGE team will aim to make rapid safety upgrades to the air traffic control system. Great, because when I think of Elon Musk, I think air safety, it's not all bad news. It's not. Guys, cheer up. Buck up, everybody. It's not all bad news. Some of it is also scary, because yesterday we found out a second bird flu strain was detected in US Dairy cattle. Well, this can mean only one. The birds are having sex with the cows. Please, please, no one tell the bees. They're going to feel so betrayed. You know, that's how babies are made. I heard bees and birds have sex and then they fly up. This time, the infected cows are at a ranch in Nevada, just northwest of Las Vegas. Okay, well, then there's nothing to worry about. Because my understanding is what happens northwest of there stays northwest of there. No, this is the second time. Right? This has happened twice now. One expert explained that bird flu constantly evolving is an awful development, saying seeing the H5N1 virus itself be smarter than all of us. Okay, but have you met all of us? It's a low bar. May I remind you, all of us watched 13 seasons of the Masked Singer. Even worse, bird flu has already made the jump to humans. Different variants have been around for decades, and scientists estimate that worldwide, the fatality rate is approximately 52%. But there's nothing to worry about. We're going to be fine. It's not just the dairy workers who are at risk because the virus has been found in raw milk. That's okay. RFK Jr. Is about to make America healthy again. And Kennedy has said that he only drinks raw milk. Okay, wow. Wow. Okay. But it's not like he hangs out with birds. Hey, everybody. These are my two ravens. But it's not all bad and scary news, folks. Some of it is quite chilling because this week, Google removed a pledge to not use AI for weapons from its website. It's the most shocking news about a search engine since we found out someone used Bing. In happier news, your smartphone just got a whole lot sexier because the iPhone is getting its first native porn app, the first that can be installed on iOS devices through legitimate means. Before now, it wasn't legit. It was the phone's forbidden step app that really shouldn't even be here while your father's away. The app, which right now is available only in Europe, is called Hot Tub, which sounds so much sexier than the rival porn app Above Ground Pool. You know their slogan. Hey, come on in. The water is from a hose attached to my sink. This new app blocks a slew of advertisements and is being billed as porn without the pop ups. Okay, but pop ups is how you know the porn is working. You got a great show for me tonight coming up. ELTON John.
Michelle Yeoh
On January 24, Academy Award winner Michelle Yeoh takes command.
Star Trek Character
Gather your people. We're gonna need every one of them.
Michelle Yeoh
In section 31, a new star Trek original movie on paramount.
Star Trek Character
Plus, Section 31 is just a place for people to bend the rules.
Stephen Colbert
Starfleet is here to make sure no one commits murder.
Star Trek Character
What a cute idea. This is chaos. Let's get messy.
Michelle Yeoh
Don't miss the worldwide premiere of Star Trek, Section 31, streaming January 24, exclusively on Paramount. Plus.
Stephen Colbert
We'Re here with the one, the only Elton John. Elton you know, I've. It's such an honor to been able to interview you a few times over the years. You know, I'm an enormous fan. I've got your entire catalog memorized. But even with a chance to talk to you and have studied your work so long for so many years, there comes a point where you just can't know anybody any better through the short term interviews that we do. And so we at the Colbert show here have put together something called the Colbert Questionnaire.
Elton John
Okay.
Stephen Colbert
It is a series. It's a series of questions that have been ergonomically designed to irritate me. Exactly. You say irritate, I say reveal.
Elton John
Okay.
Stephen Colbert
We will penetrate to the heart of the man. Your soul will be revealed before the world. Are you ready to be known?
Elton John
Yes, of course.
Stephen Colbert
All right, Elton John, first question. What is the best sandwich?
Elton John
Cheese and tomato.
Stephen Colbert
Wow. Anything on that or just the cheese and the tomato and we're done?
Elton John
No, cheese and tomato's fine.
Stephen Colbert
What kind of bread?
Elton John
I'm a plain guy.
Stephen Colbert
What kind of bread are we talking?
Elton John
Look, you see? What pr. Whole wheat bread.
Stephen Colbert
Whole wheat bread. Okay. What was your first concert that you attended? God.
Elton John
First concert I attended. I'm. I'm very old, you know, so.
Stephen Colbert
I mean, it wasn't Mozart.
Elton John
No. It would have been probably Little Richard.
Stephen Colbert
Wow.
Elton John
The Hara. Granada. Yeah.
Stephen Colbert
Wow. What is the scariest animal?
Elton John
Scariest animal. I could say something, but I'd get me banned. Scariest animal.
Stephen Colbert
Nothing weight. You banned here?
Elton John
Yeah. I'd say a snake.
Stephen Colbert
Sure. Any kind. Or does it have to be a poisonous snake or you just don't like snakes?
Elton John
Just poisonous snakes. Yeah. Just don't like snakes, period. Right.
Stephen Colbert
Okay. Apples or oranges?
Elton John
Apples.
Stephen Colbert
Good answer. Okay. Can't put peanut butter on an orange. Okay. Have you ever asked someone for their autograph?
Elton John
Yes.
Stephen Colbert
Who?
Elton John
Elvis Presley.
Stephen Colbert
Now hold on a second here. Did you get it?
Elton John
Yep.
Stephen Colbert
Do you, more importantly, do you still have it?
Elton John
Yep.
Stephen Colbert
Wow. Just the name or did he.
Elton John
No, it's on a tour program I went to see in Washington, D.C. so I have his autograph.
Stephen Colbert
And did it say to Elton or like.
Elton John
No. He was very. He was not well and he was very shaky, but I was just so incredibly impressed to be in the same room as him. So I was. I value it very much.
Stephen Colbert
What do you think happens when we die?
Elton John
I wish I knew. I don't know.
Stephen Colbert
Don't know. No Stab. Nothing comes to mind. Pearly Gates. Darkness. Dust.
Elton John
Who knows? I don't know. I hope there's Pearly Gates. I hope there's an afterlife, but I'm a bit cynical about it.
Stephen Colbert
All right. I hope I see you there.
Elton John
Yep.
Stephen Colbert
Favorite action movie.
Elton John
Ooh, Favorite action movie. Jesus. Action movie. Bullet.
Stephen Colbert
Oh, yeah. Steve McQueen.
Elton John
Yeah.
Stephen Colbert
Window or aisle?
Elton John
What's that? What do you mean?
Stephen Colbert
On a plane. You want a seated by the window? Seated in the aisle. Yes, yes, yes, yes.
Elton John
Window.
Stephen Colbert
Window. Okay. Favorite smell?
Elton John
New mown? Grass.
Stephen Colbert
Least favorite smell?
Elton John
Pig.
Stephen Colbert
Have you smelled.
Elton John
No. Garlic. Sorry? Garlic.
Stephen Colbert
Wow.
Elton John
There's not a difference between both of them, huh?
Stephen Colbert
Are you familiar with pig? Dude, did you grow up on a farm or.
Elton John
I did. I grew up opposite a farm. Yes.
Stephen Colbert
Okay. And when the wind was blowing in the wrong direction.
Elton John
Yeah.
Stephen Colbert
You're like, I wish I had some garlic around here.
Elton John
Yeah.
Stephen Colbert
Are you a vampire?
Elton John
No, I'm not a vampire, but I cannot stand the smell of. It's banned from my house.
Stephen Colbert
Okay.
Elton John
Earliest memory, Being pushed in a pram by my mother. I can remember being in the pram and feeling so cozy.
Stephen Colbert
You must have been tiny.
Elton John
I was tiny, but it was a big pram.
Stephen Colbert
Do you think you'd still enjoy that feeling?
Elton John
Well, being cozy in a pram, I don't know. I'd love to be pushed around in the pram. It's so cozy. When you see babies being pushed around by their mums in a pram and they're all snug, it's the most thing. Oh, I love that feeling.
Stephen Colbert
Cats or dogs?
Elton John
Dogs.
Stephen Colbert
Do you have a dog?
Elton John
Have a lot of dogs.
Stephen Colbert
A lot of dogs, yeah. You only get one song to listen to for the rest of your life. What is it? Now? You don't have to continually listen to it, but when you go to listen to the music, this is the song that plays.
Elton John
Well, my favorite. One of my favorite songs is Smile by Charlie Chaplin because it's such an uplifting song and the lyrics are so beautiful and because it was sung by Nat King Cole, so I would choose that one.
Stephen Colbert
Nat King Cole's version of Smile.
Elton John
Yes.
Stephen Colbert
Okay. What number am I thinking of?
Elton John
7.
Stephen Colbert
No. Describe the rest of your life. Describe the rest of your life in five words.
Elton John
Your bum is like a magnet.
Stephen Colbert
Elton John, everybody. Thank you for listening to the Late Show Pod show with Stephen Colbert. Just one more thing. If you want to see more of me, come to The Late Show YouTube channel for more clips and exclusives.
Michelle Yeoh
On January 24, Academy Award winner Michelle Yeoh takes command.
Star Trek Character
Gather your people. We're gonna need every one of them.
Michelle Yeoh
In Section 31, a new Star Trek original movie on Paramount Section 31 is.
Star Trek Character
Just a place for people to bend the rules.
Stephen Colbert
Starfleet is here to make sure no one commits murder.
Star Trek Character
What a cute idea. This is chaos. Let's get messy.
Michelle Yeoh
Don't miss the worldwide premiere of Star Trek Section 31, streaming January 24, exclusively on Paramount.
The Late Show Pod Show with Stephen Colbert Episode: "Elton John's Colbert Questionnaire | Who Let The Doge Out?" Release Date: February 7, 2025
In this engaging episode of The Late Show Pod Show with Stephen Colbert, host Stephen Colbert delivers his signature blend of humor and sharp commentary on current events before delving into a delightful and revealing interview with the legendary Elton John. Titled "Elton John's Colbert Questionnaire | Who Let The Doge Out?", the episode masterfully balances topical satire with personal insights, providing listeners with both laughs and heartfelt moments.
Stephen Colbert kicks off the episode with a lively monologue, addressing a variety of contemporary issues with his trademark wit and sarcasm.
Colbert humorously navigates the excitement surrounding Super Bowl Sunday, poking fun at the event's various elements:
A significant portion of the monologue critiques Elon Musk's influence on federal agencies:
The highlight of the episode is an intimate and humorous interview with Elton John, conducted through the "Colbert Questionnaire"—a series of personal questions designed to “irritate” Colbert while revealing deeper insights into the iconic musician.
Colbert introduces the questionnaire with playful banter:
Best Sandwich
First Concert Attended
Scariest Animal
Apples or Oranges
Autograph Request
Thoughts on Death
Favorite Action Movie
Window or Aisle Seat
Favorite and Least Favorite Smells
Earliest Memory
Cats or Dogs
One Song for Life
Describe the Rest of Your Life in Five Words
This episode of The Late Show Pod Show with Stephen Colbert successfully marries topical satire with personal storytelling. Colbert's incisive monologue offers a comedic lens on pressing societal issues, while the intimate "Colbert Questionnaire" with Elton John provides listeners with charming and humorous insights into the superstar's personality. Whether dissecting government mishaps or exploring Elton's preferences, the episode delivers a well-rounded and entertaining experience for both regular listeners and newcomers alike.
On Government Disruptions:
"It's so easy to use. For example, I could say, I think it would be funny and good for America if obvious fascist Elon M got his junk stuck in a four-slice toaster."
— Stephen Colbert (05:45)
On DEI Initiatives:
"There's no way of knowing anymore. This is a difficult time to start, right?"
— Stephen Colbert (09:30)
On Autograph Significance:
"I was just so incredibly impressed to be in the same room as him. So I was. I value it very much."
— Elton John (15:53)
On Afterlife Beliefs:
"I hope there's Pearly Gates. I hope there's an afterlife, but I'm a bit cynical about it."
— Elton John (16:21)
On Favorite Song:
"One of my favorite songs is 'Smile' by Charlie Chaplin because it's such an uplifting song and the lyrics are so beautiful and because it was sung by Nat King Cole."
— Elton John (18:17)
For more insights, clips, and exclusive content, visit The Late Show YouTube Channel.