Emma Thompson's Colbert Questionert

Summary

Emma Thompson’s Colbert Questionnaire

The Late Show Pod Show with Stephen Colbert
Date: February 28, 2026
Main Guest: Emma Thompson

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Episode Overview

In this lively and revealing episode, Stephen Colbert welcomes the Oscar-winning actress and writer Emma Thompson to participate in the infamous “Colbert Questionnaire.” The segment is designed to uncover the heart and soul of its subjects through a series of deceptively simple questions. Emma’s wit, sincerity, and candidness shine as she riffs with Colbert, offering thoughtful (and often hilarious) insights into her life, memories, and personal preferences.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

The Purpose of the Colbert Questionnaire

• Colbert introduces the segment as a way to “penetrate straight to the heart of someone and reveal them to the world.”

  “I wonder whether you have the courage to be fully known.” — Stephen Colbert (01:38)

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Favorite Foods & Music

• The Best Sandwich:

  • Emma: “Cheese. Cheddar.”
    • Prefers it simple: “Definitely keep it beautiful.” (02:15)
    • Grilled/toasted cheddar, not American cheese.

• First Concert:

  • Emma: Says it was The Who, circa 1975.
    • Sings a line, humorously tweaking the lyrics:

      “No one knows what it's like to be the zad man… to be the Batman.” — Emma Thompson (02:27–02:36)

• Song for Life:

  • After brief indecision and a joke about not wanting “anything from Cats,” she settles on:

    “It would probably be a Bowie, …and it would be ‘Kooks’ from ‘Hunky Dory’, which is my favorite album.” — Emma Thompson (09:02)

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Quirks, Humor, and Personal Preferences

• Scariest Animal:

  • Emma: “Humans.” (02:45)

• Apples or Oranges:

  • Emma: “Oranges.” (02:55)

• Asking for Autographs:

  • She shares a teenage fan story about asking David Essex (who played Jesus Christ in Jesus Christ Superstar) for an autograph—on her hand:

    “I didn’t wash my hand for a long time. And I had that skin removed. No, I didn’t.” — Emma Thompson (03:42)

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Personal and Family Anecdotes

• On Smells:

  • Favorite Smell:

    “I sort of want to say my husband’s breath. He’s got such lovely, spicy breath. I know that’s really weird and probably slightly too much information.” — Emma Thompson (04:46)

    • Colbert jokes about the “edge” this answer toes.
  • Least Favorite Smell:

    “Any sort of excreta. Sorry.” — Emma Thompson (05:40)
    “I think I was traumatized as a girl by walking down paths that were strewn with dog turds.” (05:49)

• Earliest Memory:

  • Drawing with a pencil around the loo as a young child and being made to clean it up by her “very Presbyterian” mother. (06:28)

    “No, she was, rub it out, rub it out, rub it out. Because she's Scottish, you know?” — Emma Thompson (06:28–07:00)

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Feline Fondness & Recent Loss

• Cats or Dogs:
  • Emma: “Cats.” (07:07)
    • She admires their “innate superiority” and independence.
  • Shares recent family sadness:

    “One of our cats in the family has actually just been run over… there's been a discussion about whether to put her in the freezer before we go home so that we can say goodbye. …So I'd like to say rip, Lana, because she was a wonderful cat.” — Emma Thompson (07:32–08:15)

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Philosophical & Offbeat Moments

• Afterlife:

  • Emma: “I think we return to the source.” (03:54)

• Travel Preference:

  • Window seat all the way; she doesn't mind planning bathroom breaks. (04:35)

• Colbert’s Signature Curveball:

  • Colbert: “What number am I thinking of?”
    • Emma: “Eight.” (09:35)
    • Colbert: “No.”

• Describe the Rest of Your Life in Five Words:

  “Mostly predominantly, largely overtly there.” — Emma Thompson (09:48)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On spicy breath:

  “He’s got such lovely, spicy breath. I know that’s really weird and probably slightly too much information. I'm so sorry.” — Emma Thompson (04:46)

• On unfortunate proximity in childhood:

  “When you were little because you were quite close to them, aren’t you? …We don't think about that enough, how close our children are to the turds.” — Stephen Colbert (05:49–06:13)

• On motherhood and creativity:

  “My mother was very Presbyterian. …She wasn’t going to say, ‘Oh, honey, that’s so creative.’ No, she was, rub it out, rub it out, rub it out.” — Emma Thompson (06:28–07:00)

• On loss and remembering a pet:

  “So I'd like to say rip, Lana, because she was a wonderful cat. …Sort of incredibly princessy and very… But now, alas, no more.” — Emma Thompson (08:15–08:30)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• 01:09 — Colbert introduces Emma Thompson and the purpose of the Colbert Questionnaire
• 02:01–02:18 — Best sandwich; first concert attended
• 02:45 — Scariest animal
• 03:02–03:42 — First autograph story
• 03:54 — What happens when we die
• 04:05–04:46 — Favorite action movie, window/aisle, favorite smell
• 05:28–06:13 — Least favorite smell, and memorable discussion about childhood trauma and proximity to “dog turds”
• 06:28–07:00 — Earliest memory and mother’s reaction
• 07:07–08:15 — Cats or dogs, recent loss of a family cat, emotional moment
• 08:43–09:02 — Song for the rest of your life
• 09:35 — “What number am I thinking of?”
• 09:48 — Describe your life in five words
• 09:59 — Colbert’s closing congratulations and thanks

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Tone & Final Impressions

The conversation is trademark Colbert: playful, surprising, and revealing. Emma Thompson responds with humor, honesty, and flashes of poignant vulnerability, especially when reminiscing about her early memories and the recent loss in her family. The playful banter, rich anecdotes, and the blending of profound and mundane questions make for an engaging listen that captures Emma’s wit, depth, and warmth.

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For fans of Emma Thompson or curious new listeners, this Colbert Questionnaire is a delightfully rich, revealing, and thoroughly entertaining episode.

Transcript

[A]

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[B]

Huh.

[A]

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[B]

the Late Show Poncho with Stephen Colbert.

[A]

Hey, everybody. You know who this is? It's the lovely and talented Emma Thompson. Emma, you know I always love having you on the show. You're one of my favorite guests of the last 10 years. But even you know, the number of times that we've been able to be together and talk, it's just never enough to plumb the depths of what I know to be the rich life of Emma Thompson. And so I was wondering whether I could give you something called the Colbert Questionnaire. Colbert questionnaire.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

For those who don't know, the Colbert questionnaire has been scientifically designed to penetrate straight to the heart of someone and reveal them to the world. And I wonder whether you have the courage to be fully known.

[B]

Well, it's okay. Great.

[A]

First question. Emma Thompson, what is the best sandwich?

[B]

Cheese. Cheddar.

[A]

Just cheddar cheese.

[B]

Not American cheese.

[A]

Just cheddar. I'm sorry, but just cheddar. Nothing else. Are we grilling it? Are we toasting it? What are we doing?

[B]

Well, yeah, actually grilled toasted cheese.

[A]

Keep it simple.

[B]

Definitely keep it beautiful. Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

What was the first concert that you attended?

[B]

The Who.

[A]

What? What year? Can I ask what year?

[B]

75. 5. Wow. Wow. No one knows what it's like to be the zad man.

[A]

That one. To be the Batman.

[B]

Behind. Behind.

[A]

Yeah. Emma, what is the scariest animal?

[B]

Humans.

[A]

Most things, obviously. Sure. Apples are oranges.

[B]

Oranges.

[A]

Have you ever asked someone for their autograph?

[B]

I asked David Essex. Who is that? You won't know who he is. He was. I was 14 and he was in Jesus Christ Superstar.

[A]

Wait a second. What part?

[B]

He was playing Jesus Christ.

[A]

There are other parts in it.

[B]

There are other parts, but he was playing.

[A]

I'm thinking of Ian Gillan from Deep Purple. Or I'm thinking Ted Neely from the movie.

[B]

Oh, no, no, no.

[A]

This is the clown you're talking about.

[B]

This is. He would be so upset. He was a very cute actor. Singer. David Essex. I can't explain it. He was on at the Roundhouse and I asked for his autograph and he autographed my hand.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

And I didn't wash her hand for a long time. And I had that skin removed. No, I didn't.

[A]

That's fantastic. What do you think happens when we die?

[B]

I think we return to the source. Yeah.

[A]

Favorite action movie?

[B]

Well, probably Raiders of the Lost Ark.

[A]

Quality.

[B]

Quality. Yeah. Because it's kind of funny, too. It's got wit. Because Harrison's funny.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I married a wonderful Scots Presbyterian girl who. Her reaction to Raiders of the Lost Ark was he couldn't survive being dragged behind that truck. It's so practical.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Window or aisle?

[B]

Window.

[A]

Yeah. That's a view. You don't worry about having to get up to go to the bathroom? No, no, no. Favorite smell?

[B]

Oh, that's so hard. I sort of want to say my husband's breath. He's got such lovely, spicy breath. I know that's really weird and probably slightly too much information. I'm so sorry.

[A]

Why? Why?

[B]

I feel like we're on a sort of edge here.

[A]

No.

[B]

Do you know what I mean?

[A]

Is he chewing on cloves or.

[B]

No, not at all. It's just.

[A]

You just like it.

[B]

I just like it.

[A]

That's it. You're a lucky woman.

[B]

I know.

[A]

Have a husband with spicy breath.

[B]

Yeah, I am. I feel.

[A]

How does it feel about being described as having spicy.

[B]

Oh, I don't know.

[A]

Least favorite smell?

[B]

No. My daughter's backstage. She's going to give me hell.

[A]

Gaia?

[B]

Yeah, I met her. Yeah.

[A]

Least favorite smell?

[B]

Any sort of excreta. Sorry.

[A]

Well, there's all kinds of those.

[B]

There are all kinds of those.

[A]

Any of them. No, thanks.

[B]

No. Any of them? I can't really cope. I think I was traumatized as a girl by walking down paths that were strewn with dog turds. And it was awful when you were little because you were quite close to them, aren't you?

[A]

You are. You are. We don't think about that enough, how close our children are to the turds.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

This is before people picked up.

[B]

Exactly. Yes, exactly.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah. What's your earliest memory?

[B]

I. When I was lived, I must have been about or something, and I'd drawn in pencil all around the loo in the house. I just remember being made to rub it out with a. That's sobbing, you know, My mother was very Presbyterian. You know, it was like she wasn't gonna say, oh, honey, that's so creative. No, she was, rub it out, rub it out, rub it out. Because she's Scottish, you know?

[A]

Oh, really?

[B]

Yeah. Yes.

[A]

Do you still have flashbacks when you go to Lou? Absolutely, yes. Cats or dogs?

[B]

Cats.

[A]

Okay. What is it about cats that you enjoy so much, if you mind me asking?

[B]

I like the way they feel. I love their independence. I also like their kind of innate superiority.

[A]

Do you have a cat?

[B]

It makes me feel. Well, it's funny you should ask, because one of our cats in the family has actually just been run over. Oh, my God. I'm sorry. There's been a discussion about whether to put her in the freezer before we go home so that we can say goodbye. But I felt that that was taking things a little. But I can't believe we're having this conversation. We've had breath. We've got Excreta. Now we've got a dead ca.

[A]

So I know it's not a funny subject, but your cat, while you were away from home, your cat. Sadly, my daughter's.

[B]

My daughter's partner's cat. Who has lived with them for three years.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Was.

[A]

I'm so sorry.

[B]

Yeah. So it's very. So it's odd that we should have got to cats tonight. So I'd like to say rip. Lana, because she was a wonderful cat. I mean it. Sort of incredibly princessy and very.

[A]

No.

[B]

You know. But now, alas, no more.

[A]

You only get one song to listen to for the rest of your life. What is it?

[B]

Anything from Cats. I hate cats. I didn't mean that.

[A]

You don't have to listen to it continually, but when you go to listen to music, this is what you get to hear. What would it be?

[B]

A song.

[A]

Any bit of music. You only get one song. Yes. So song to listen to. Yeah.

[B]

Now all I can think of is the who, because that's what we've been talking about. But it would. It would. It would probably be a Bowie because he sort of brought me up. And it would be Kooks from Hunky Dory, which is my favorite album.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

His first. One of. His first.

[A]

Wonderful. Good answer.

[B]

That was hard.

[A]

Yeah, it is one of the hardest. It's up there with what happens after we die.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, I did. I have no problem with that. I must be close to it.

[A]

What number am I thinking of?

[B]

I don't know. Eight.

[A]

I'm sorry, what?

[B]

Eight.

[A]

Eight.

[B]

No. Okay.

[A]

Describe the rest of your life in five words.

[B]

Mostly predominantly, largely overtly there.

[A]

Congratulations. You are known. Emma Thompson, everybody. Thank you for listening to the Late Show POD show with Stephen Colbert. Just one more thing. If you want to see more of me, come to The Late Show YouTube channel for more clips and exclusives. I'm Jon Lovett, host of Love it or Leave it. And each week I take you through the biggest stories in politics and culture with jokes, analysis, and the exact right amount of venting. I'm joined by comedians, Hollywood legends, politicians trying to prove they can hang for conversations you'll love. And their publicists often do not. And it's all taped in front of a live audience, so listen to Love it or Leave It, America's number one late night political gay live comedy podcast every Saturday.

[B]

Can you keep a secret, dad?

[A]

It turns out I hadn't died. Now streaming on Paramount.

[B]

Plus, the money from your dad's life insurance finally came through. Please, this is fraud.

[A]

A new original series.

[B]

You have to give the money back. What sort of friend blackmails their own mates? We're a crime family. Oh, don't be silly. We're just a bit complicated, like the Beckons.

[A]

Can you keep a secret? New series, now streaming on Paramount. Plus.