Emma Thompson’s Colbert Questionnaire

The Late Show Pod Show with Stephen Colbert
Date: February 28, 2026
Main Guest: Emma Thompson

Episode Overview

In this lively and revealing episode, Stephen Colbert welcomes the Oscar-winning actress and writer Emma Thompson to participate in the infamous “Colbert Questionnaire.” The segment is designed to uncover the heart and soul of its subjects through a series of deceptively simple questions. Emma’s wit, sincerity, and candidness shine as she riffs with Colbert, offering thoughtful (and often hilarious) insights into her life, memories, and personal preferences.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

The Purpose of the Colbert Questionnaire

• Colbert introduces the segment as a way to “penetrate straight to the heart of someone and reveal them to the world.”

  “I wonder whether you have the courage to be fully known.” — Stephen Colbert (01:38)

Favorite Foods & Music

• The Best Sandwich:

  • Emma: “Cheese. Cheddar.”
    • Prefers it simple: “Definitely keep it beautiful.” (02:15)
    • Grilled/toasted cheddar, not American cheese.

• First Concert:

  • Emma: Says it was The Who, circa 1975.
    • Sings a line, humorously tweaking the lyrics:

      “No one knows what it's like to be the zad man… to be the Batman.” — Emma Thompson (02:27–02:36)

• Song for Life:

  • After brief indecision and a joke about not wanting “anything from Cats,” she settles on:

    “It would probably be a Bowie, …and it would be ‘Kooks’ from ‘Hunky Dory’, which is my favorite album.” — Emma Thompson (09:02)

Quirks, Humor, and Personal Preferences

• Scariest Animal:

  • Emma: “Humans.” (02:45)

• Apples or Oranges:

  • Emma: “Oranges.” (02:55)

• Asking for Autographs:

  • She shares a teenage fan story about asking David Essex (who played Jesus Christ in Jesus Christ Superstar) for an autograph—on her hand:

    “I didn’t wash my hand for a long time. And I had that skin removed. No, I didn’t.” — Emma Thompson (03:42)

Personal and Family Anecdotes

• On Smells:

  • Favorite Smell:

    “I sort of want to say my husband’s breath. He’s got such lovely, spicy breath. I know that’s really weird and probably slightly too much information.” — Emma Thompson (04:46)

    • Colbert jokes about the “edge” this answer toes.
  • Least Favorite Smell:

    “Any sort of excreta. Sorry.” — Emma Thompson (05:40)
    “I think I was traumatized as a girl by walking down paths that were strewn with dog turds.” (05:49)

• Earliest Memory:

  • Drawing with a pencil around the loo as a young child and being made to clean it up by her “very Presbyterian” mother. (06:28)

    “No, she was, rub it out, rub it out, rub it out. Because she's Scottish, you know?” — Emma Thompson (06:28–07:00)

Feline Fondness & Recent Loss

• Cats or Dogs:
  • Emma: “Cats.” (07:07)
    • She admires their “innate superiority” and independence.
  • Shares recent family sadness:

    “One of our cats in the family has actually just been run over… there's been a discussion about whether to put her in the freezer before we go home so that we can say goodbye. …So I'd like to say rip, Lana, because she was a wonderful cat.” — Emma Thompson (07:32–08:15)

Philosophical & Offbeat Moments

• Afterlife:

  • Emma: “I think we return to the source.” (03:54)

• Travel Preference:

  • Window seat all the way; she doesn't mind planning bathroom breaks. (04:35)

• Colbert’s Signature Curveball:

  • Colbert: “What number am I thinking of?”
    • Emma: “Eight.” (09:35)
    • Colbert: “No.”

• Describe the Rest of Your Life in Five Words:

  “Mostly predominantly, largely overtly there.” — Emma Thompson (09:48)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On spicy breath:

  “He’s got such lovely, spicy breath. I know that’s really weird and probably slightly too much information. I'm so sorry.” — Emma Thompson (04:46)

• On unfortunate proximity in childhood:

  “When you were little because you were quite close to them, aren’t you? …We don't think about that enough, how close our children are to the turds.” — Stephen Colbert (05:49–06:13)

• On motherhood and creativity:

  “My mother was very Presbyterian. …She wasn’t going to say, ‘Oh, honey, that’s so creative.’ No, she was, rub it out, rub it out, rub it out.” — Emma Thompson (06:28–07:00)

• On loss and remembering a pet:

  “So I'd like to say rip, Lana, because she was a wonderful cat. …Sort of incredibly princessy and very… But now, alas, no more.” — Emma Thompson (08:15–08:30)

Timestamps for Key Segments

• 01:09 — Colbert introduces Emma Thompson and the purpose of the Colbert Questionnaire
• 02:01–02:18 — Best sandwich; first concert attended
• 02:45 — Scariest animal
• 03:02–03:42 — First autograph story
• 03:54 — What happens when we die
• 04:05–04:46 — Favorite action movie, window/aisle, favorite smell
• 05:28–06:13 — Least favorite smell, and memorable discussion about childhood trauma and proximity to “dog turds”
• 06:28–07:00 — Earliest memory and mother’s reaction
• 07:07–08:15 — Cats or dogs, recent loss of a family cat, emotional moment
• 08:43–09:02 — Song for the rest of your life
• 09:35 — “What number am I thinking of?”
• 09:48 — Describe your life in five words
• 09:59 — Colbert’s closing congratulations and thanks

Tone & Final Impressions

The conversation is trademark Colbert: playful, surprising, and revealing. Emma Thompson responds with humor, honesty, and flashes of poignant vulnerability, especially when reminiscing about her early memories and the recent loss in her family. The playful banter, rich anecdotes, and the blending of profound and mundane questions make for an engaging listen that captures Emma’s wit, depth, and warmth.

For fans of Emma Thompson or curious new listeners, this Colbert Questionnaire is a delightfully rich, revealing, and thoroughly entertaining episode.