Extended Cut: Mother's Day Cards With Evie

Summary

The Late Show Pod Show with Stephen Colbert

Episode: Extended Cut: Mother's Day Cards With Evie
Release Date: May 10, 2025

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Introduction to Mother's Day Card Fiasco

In this engaging episode of The Late Show Pod Show, host Stephen Colbert teams up with his guest, Evie McGee, to delve into the often tricky task of selecting the perfect Mother's Day card. The segment opens with Stephen humorously highlighting the frantic rush many experience as Mother's Day approaches:

"It's the Late Show Pod Show with Stephen Colbert." ([01:30])

He sets the stage by acknowledging the abundance of Mother's Day cards available and the challenges creators face in getting the message right on the first attempt.

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Exploring the First Drafts of Mother's Day Cards

Stephen and Evie embark on a fun exploration of initial drafts versus the polished final versions of Mother's Day cards. This segment is filled with witty banter and relatable humor as they examine cards that didn't make the cut.

• Humorous Missteps:

  Stephen shares a rough draft that deviates sharply from traditional sentiments:

  "I just took a DNA test. Turns out I'm mostly Latvian. What exactly happened on your gap year?" ([03:13])

  Evie reacts with genuine amusement and slight bewilderment:

  "I think there's shattered glass in there now." ([02:46])

• Heartfelt vs. Hilarious:

  They contrast a heartfelt card with its less-than-perfect original version:

  Final Card:

  "I just took a DNA test. Turns out I'm 100% your biggest fan. Thanks for being an amazing mom." ([03:49])

  First Draft:

  "I just took a DNA test. Turns out I'm mostly Latvian. What exactly happened on your gap year?" ([03:13])

  Evie appreciates the final version's warmth:

  "That is lovely." ([03:57])

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Personal Anecdotes and Shared Memories

The conversation naturally shifts to personal reflections on Mother's Day, allowing Stephen and Evie to share nostalgic memories and cherished traditions.

• Morning Rituals:

  Evie discusses her mother's way of starting the day, emphasizing the sentimental value:

  "The first thing is coffee in bed and the New York Times. That's how she started." ([04:32])

  Stephen adds humor by reminiscing about his own father's contributions:

  "Your father would make Coffee. And bring the newspaper and coffee." ([04:55])

• Family Moments:

  They recall the joyous chaos that children bring to Mother's Day:

  "Everybody on the bed. Jump on the bed. And then the kids eating all the breakfast and bed." ([06:14])

  Evie adds a touch of humor about their dog:

  "And the dog trying to get in onto George, come and eat the eggs." ([06:30])

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Crafting the Perfect Card: Balancing Sentiment and Humor

Stephen and Evie continue to navigate the fine line between heartfelt messages and comedic touches in Mother's Day cards.

• Emotional Depth:

  A particularly touching card reads:

  "No matter how old I get, I'm still your little girl. Happy Mother's Day." ([07:02])

  Evie teases about the sentimental nature of the message:

  "Don't even talk about that." ([07:05])

  Stephen humorously references the book that inspired the message:

  "Love youe Forever." ([07:10])

• Humorous Twists:

  Another card example showcases their comedic flair:

  Final Card:

  "If you turn mom upside down, you get wow. Happy Mother's Day." ([12:26])

  First Draft:

  "If you turn mom upside down, we can all see your boobs. Please don't do yoga in the living room when my friends are over. Happy Mother's Day, darling." ([12:46])

  Evie reacts with laughter:

  "Thank you." ([12:47])

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Insights into Modern Motherhood and Celebrations

The discussion also touches upon the evolving nature of motherhood and how celebrations like Mother's Day adapt to contemporary lifestyles.

• New Moms:

  Stephen introduces a message for new mothers, highlighting the profound journey of motherhood:

  "Happy First Mother's Day. Congratulations on starting the journey of a lifetime." ([11:00])

  He contrasts it with a more humorous take from the first draft:

  "Pretend this card says something profound. Then say, mm. And close your eyes like you're thinking about it. Take a 30 second nap. Do it now." ([11:21])

• Personal Touches:

  Evie emphasizes the importance of small, thoughtful gestures, sharing her own plans to honor her mother:

  "I've been thinking that this Mother's Day, I think I want to celebrate it. Honoring my mother. And so everything I do, I think should be something she would like to do." ([04:27])

  This includes making coffee in bed, gardening, and enjoying a quiet evening—activities that resonate deeply with their audience.

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Closing Remarks and Listener Engagement

As the segment draws to a close, Stephen and Evie encapsulate the essence of celebrating mothers through both sincere and humorous means. They encourage listeners to find the perfect balance in their Mother's Day messages, ensuring their gratitude is both heartfelt and memorable.

"We actually really do care for each other a great deal." ([10:27])

Evie adds a light-hearted note on their relationship dynamics:

"It's a joy to laugh at you." ([10:37])

Stephen wraps up by reinforcing the importance of laughter and love in familial bonds:

"It does matter to me that you laugh." ([10:35])

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Conclusion

This episode of The Late Show Pod Show masterfully blends humor with heartfelt moments, offering listeners both laughs and warmth as they navigate the complexities of choosing the perfect Mother's Day card. Through relatable anecdotes and sharp wit, Stephen Colbert and Evie McGee create a memorable and entertaining discussion that resonates with everyone preparing to celebrate their mothers.

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Don't forget to use the discount code "TLS20" for 20% off all The Late Show with Stephen Colbert products on ParamountShop.com. For more lively conversations and hilarious segments, tune in to The Late Show with Stephen Colbert weeknights at 11:35/10:35c on CBS or stream it on Paramount+.

Transcript

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[Stephen Colbert]

It's the Late Show Poncho with Stephen Colbert.

Folks, as you know, Mother's Day was last Sunday. Gotcha. It's this Sunday. But you panicked just a little bit, didn't you? Order the flowers. Now, there are plenty of great Mother's Day cards out there for you to choose from, but the folks who make the Mother's Day cards don't always get them right on the first try. So tonight we'll take a look at some of the early attempts in our segment. First drafts. No, no. Stupid. As always, I need help from my favorite guest, Evie McGee. I like her. Ooh, I like those.

[Evie McGee]

Hi.

[Stephen Colbert]

Hi.

[Evie McGee]

Hello.

[Stephen Colbert]

Good to see you. Please.

[Evie McGee]

Hi.

[Stephen Colbert]

I like all the green.

[Evie McGee]

Thank you.

[Stephen Colbert]

Green for SP now, darling. Happy Mother's Day. Coming up this Sunday.

[Evie McGee]

Happy American Pope Day.

[Stephen Colbert]

Happy American Pope Day. Exactly. I got some mimosas for us, but I know that you don't really drink that much. Oh, gosh.

[Evie McGee]

You just broke the damn glass.

[Stephen Colbert]

I just broke the damn glass.

[Evie McGee]

And we don't have insurance on that. Oh, my God.

[Stephen Colbert]

Look at that. And I was gonna give you oatmeal cookies instead, but I think there's shattered glass in there now. See that right there? That's definitely a shard of shattered glass.

[Evie McGee]

Oh, my God. You're trying to kill me.

[Stephen Colbert]

This would be an incredible burger weapon.

[Evie McGee]

That would be really good.

[Stephen Colbert]

This is now an episode of Elle's Best.

[Evie McGee]

No, but think about that. That's a really good way to kill someone, because then they'd be like, oh, my gosh.

[Stephen Colbert]

Calm down.

Well, much like Mother's Day, this is a disaster. All right. All right, honey. All right, honey. You know how this works?

[Evie McGee]

I do. Ok. Yeah, I got it.

[Stephen Colbert]

Just skip part, you know? But the audience may not.

[Evie McGee]

No, I think the audience.

[Stephen Colbert]

Not everyone watches every show.

[Evie McGee]

Okay.

[Stephen Colbert]

We're going to have some part.

[Evie McGee]

There's gonna be one version, another version done.

[Stephen Colbert]

I will show you a card that is sold in the stores, and then I will show you the not so good first draft that they decided not to sell. There you go. My darling. Would you hand me the first card?

[Evie McGee]

I will.

[Stephen Colbert]

Thank you very much. Okay. First one says, I just took a DNA test. Turns out I'm 100% your biggest fan. Thanks for being an amazing mom. Isn't that lovely? That is lovely. But the first draft said I just took a DNA test. Turns out I'm mostly Latvian. What exactly happened on your gap year? That's very interesting. That's very interesting. Okay, darling, Mother's Day. It's a fantastic day.

[Evie McGee]

Yeah.

[Stephen Colbert]

We're going to see the kids.

[Evie McGee]

Yep.

[Stephen Colbert]

Which is nice.

[Evie McGee]

Which is very nice.

[Stephen Colbert]

Very nice. What would you like for Mother's Day? Would you like a present for Mother's Day?

[Evie McGee]

No, I don't need a present.

[Stephen Colbert]

You're going to get a present. What would you like for Mother's Day?

[Evie McGee]

Well, I've been thinking that this Mother's Day, I think I want to celebrate it. Honoring my mother.

[Stephen Colbert]

Okay.

[Evie McGee]

And so everything I do, I think should be something she would like to do. Which means how will I start my day?

[Stephen Colbert]

You will get me to move potted plants for you.

[Evie McGee]

That's on the list. The first thing is coffee in bed.

[Stephen Colbert]

Coffee in bed. Well, coffee in bed. And the New York Times.

[Evie McGee]

And the New York Times. That's how she started.

[Stephen Colbert]

And then I judge every day, though. Not Mother's Day. Every day. Your father would make Coffee. And bring the newspaper and coffee.

[Evie McGee]

It's not a bad idea.

[Stephen Colbert]

It is not a bad idea. I'm so glad that your father did it for your mother.

[Evie McGee]

I've only. I mean, we got 31 years.

[Stephen Colbert]

You could do 30. We're almost 32 years in. I'll become a good husband eventually.

[Evie McGee]

So then I feel like I should garden a little bit, because that's what my mother would do.

[Stephen Colbert]

Sure.

[Evie McGee]

And then we'll see the kids. But then I think we need to finish the evening with a little cocktail and pbs, because that's what she would do.

[Stephen Colbert]

Right.

[Evie McGee]

And they may not be around much longer, so watch it.

[Stephen Colbert]

I will take that next card, please.

[Evie McGee]

I know that's sad. I'm sorry.

[Stephen Colbert]

Okay. Here's one for a grandmother. It says, to my Nana, thanks for making my life so much brighter. Happy Mother's Day. That's nice.

[Evie McGee]

I think Nana is a very good grandmother name.

[Stephen Colbert]

It is, but the first draft said, to my Nana. Your iPhone flashlight is on. Nope. Still on. Nope. That's the volume button. And now you're FaceTiming my ex boyfriend. Why do you even have Mark's number? Here's the thing.

[Evie McGee]

I like that.

[Stephen Colbert]

Are we gonna be. If we're lucky enough.

[Evie McGee]

Don't even ask that question.

[Stephen Colbert]

Okay, okay.

[Evie McGee]

Don't even go there. We'll get in so much trouble.

[Stephen Colbert]

Okay, I understand. I understand. Do you have happy memories of Mother's Day from when we had young children around?

[Evie McGee]

Oh, yeah.

[Stephen Colbert]

When I say happy memory of Mother's Day, what comes to mind?

[Evie McGee]

Everybody on the bed. Jump on the bed. And then the kids eating all the breakfast and bed.

[Stephen Colbert]

They would eat the breakfast and bed for you. They would eat while you were sitting there. While you.

[Evie McGee]

I'd like coffee.

[Stephen Colbert]

The one thing you cared about was your coffee.

[Evie McGee]

Right?

[Stephen Colbert]

Exactly.

[Evie McGee]

And then the dog trying to get.

[Stephen Colbert]

In onto George, come and eat the eggs. That kind of thing. Yeah.

[Evie McGee]

And cute cards made from the kids.

[Stephen Colbert]

Exactly.

[Evie McGee]

Oh, now you're going to make me cry.

[Stephen Colbert]

I hope so. Can I say this? Ratings. You crying. That's super bowl ratings.

[Evie McGee]

You don't pay me enough for that. You got to pay me.

[Stephen Colbert]

Colbert makes wife cry on national tv. Here's a heartfelt one. No matter how old I get, I'm still your little girl. Happy Mother's Day. There you go. Remember that? Remember that one, Love youe Forever.

[Evie McGee]

Now that is gonna make me cry.

[Stephen Colbert]

Love youe Forever. That book, Love youe Forever.

[Evie McGee]

Oh, God. Don't even talk about that.

[Stephen Colbert]

That should be illegal. You guys know that book Love youe forever.

[Evie McGee]

So sad.

[Stephen Colbert]

Wrong. Wrong. But the first draft said, no matter how old I get, I'm still your little girl. At least that's what I told Aetna. Back me up, old lady. I need your insurance. That's true. That's true right there.

[Evie McGee]

Well, you know what?

[Stephen Colbert]

What?

[Evie McGee]

Listen, your birthday's coming up.

[Stephen Colbert]

My birthday is coming up.

[Evie McGee]

So what would you like for your birthday?

[Stephen Colbert]

I don't want anything for my birthday. I don't want anything for my birthday.

[Evie McGee]

But, I mean, if someone was going.

[Stephen Colbert]

To get you something, I mean, I guess an electric motorcycle. I don't want anything for my birthday. I don't wanna think about my birthday. I just want to be with my wife. I would like a cup of coffee in bed at the New York Times.

[Evie McGee]

Done.

[Stephen Colbert]

Done.

[Evie McGee]

You got it.

[Stephen Colbert]

She always makes the coffee. Okay, here's a cute one.

[Evie McGee]

You know what? Here's the thing. We're a split coffee family.

[Stephen Colbert]

You know what? Here's the fun thing about comedy. It doesn't require timing. You can just interrupt any time you want.

[Evie McGee]

My timing was very good.

[Stephen Colbert]

Okay, stick ahead. What's the thing about what?

[Evie McGee]

We're a split coffee family, so.

[Stephen Colbert]

What do you mean?

[Evie McGee]

You have to have espresso.

[Stephen Colbert]

I have the Nespresso thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's me and George Clooney.

[Evie McGee]

No, no, no.

[Stephen Colbert]

Yeah.

[Evie McGee]

Brewed coffee. Because then you can just. You make a whole pot, you drink it all morning long.

[Stephen Colbert]

That's what I want. You have a real problem.

[Evie McGee]

I do. I have a coffee problem.

[Stephen Colbert]

Okay, this is a cute one. It says, to the sweetest mom. You make motherhead look like a piece of cake. And it is not.

[Evie McGee]

It is not a piece of cake.

[Stephen Colbert]

It is not a piece of cake. It is not even.

[Evie McGee]

It is hard.

[Stephen Colbert]

It is hard. It's not even the plate.

[Evie McGee]

What do you mean?

[Stephen Colbert]

The cake plate. It's harder than the cake plate.

[Evie McGee]

Oh, I get it. I get it.

[Stephen Colbert]

You know, a comedian could work for a lifetime and all he dreams of is to have his wife say, ah.

[Evie McGee]

Yeah, it's funny. I get it.

[Stephen Colbert]

No, it wasn't funny. It wasn't funny.

[Evie McGee]

It wasn't funny.

[Stephen Colbert]

I don't need a pity laugh.

[Evie McGee]

No, it wasn't funny.

[Stephen Colbert]

What wasn't funny? No. We're gonna edit her out. Right? But the first draft said, to the sweetest mom. I saw you eating raw cookie dough over the sink this morning. You. Okay, that's true. That would be you.

[Evie McGee]

That would be me.

[Stephen Colbert]

You just biting off that stick. Stick of cookie dough. You know, the roll of cookie dough. Just open that up and just.

[Evie McGee]

Oh, like the slice and bake stuff?

[Stephen Colbert]

Yeah. Slice and bake stuff. Yeah.

[Evie McGee]

I don't do that.

[Stephen Colbert]

What?

[Evie McGee]

I don't do that.

[Stephen Colbert]

That was a joke. You know, they say a girl's just looking for somebody who can make them laugh, and Evie is still looking.

[Evie McGee]

That's not true. You make me laugh all the time.

[Stephen Colbert]

I know.

[Evie McGee]

Especially when you tell bad jokes.

[Stephen Colbert]

Like. Like what? What's a bad joke? What's a bad joke?

[Evie McGee]

Well, like your hard cake plate thing. That was.

[Stephen Colbert]

No, but you didn't laugh. You didn't laugh.

[Evie McGee]

No, but I laughed at the non laughing.

[Stephen Colbert]

I'll play this tape back right now and show you. You did no such thing. This is. You know, we actually really do care for each other a great deal.

[Evie McGee]

Here's the thing.

[Stephen Colbert]

Please do not take read anything into this behavior.

[Evie McGee]

Here's the thing. I love how much it still matters to you that I laugh.

[Stephen Colbert]

It does.

[Evie McGee]

It's very sweet.

[Stephen Colbert]

It does matter to me that you laugh. Exactly.

[Evie McGee]

It's a joy to laugh at you.

[Stephen Colbert]

It sounds like you're giving a eulogy. It was a joy to laugh at him.

[Evie McGee]

Laugh at him.

[Stephen Colbert]

Here's one for new moms. It says, happy First Mother's Day. Congratulations on starting the journey of a lifetime. But the first draft read, happy First Mother's Day. Pretend this card says something profound. Then say, mm. And close your eyes like you're thinking about it. Take a 30 second nap. Do it now. That's true.

[Evie McGee]

That's true.

[Stephen Colbert]

That is true. 30 seconds nap. What's the rule when the baby sleeps?

[Evie McGee]

Mom sleeps.

[Stephen Colbert]

Mom sleeps.

[Evie McGee]

Yeah.

[Stephen Colbert]

Yeah. Don't clean. Don't.

[Evie McGee]

But that's really hard because.

[Stephen Colbert]

I know it's hard, but you got to do it. Yeah. You don't have to do it, but somebody's got to do it.

[Evie McGee]

Oh, God. Can you imagine having a baby now? That'd be so hard.

[Stephen Colbert]

All right, let's go for it. Let's at least.

[Evie McGee]

I think we might need to involve Pope Leo on that one.

[Stephen Colbert]

Pope Leo might come in for us. By the way, speaking of new mothers, you know Caroline. Caroline, one of our writers.

[Evie McGee]

Yes.

[Stephen Colbert]

She's pregnant with her second child and she has a message for her husband this Mother's Day. Caroline would like these pair of earrings. Caroline. The earrings Caroline's want are right there. Just go right there.

[Evie McGee]

Oh, my God.

[IXL Advertiser]

Brilliant.

[Stephen Colbert]

These are the earrings that she wants. Right there.

[Evie McGee]

Yes. That is brilliant.

[Stephen Colbert]

If you would.

[Evie McGee]

How come I never did that?

[Stephen Colbert]

I don't know. I asked you what you wanted. You could right now. You could guilt me into anything you wanted me to buy you right now.

[Evie McGee]

Well, I think Caroline's earrings look really nice, actually. All right, one for me, one for Caroline.

[Stephen Colbert]

Okay, this is clever. If you turn mom upside down, you get wow. Happy Mother's Day. That's true. That's good. But the original said, if you turn mom upside down, we can all see your boobs. Please don't do yoga in the living room when my friends are over. Happy Mother's Day, darling.

[Evie McGee]

Thank you.

[Stephen Colbert]

All right, Evie McGee, everybody. Best mom ever. Thank you for listening to the Late Show Pod show with Stephen Colbert. Just one more thing. If you want to see more of me, come to The Late Show YouTube channel for more clips Exclusives.

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