First Drafts Father's Day 2025

Summary

Summary of "First Drafts Father's Day 2025" Episode on The Late Show Pod Show with Stephen Colbert

Release Date: June 14, 2025

---

Introduction

In the "First Drafts Father's Day 2025" episode of The Late Show Pod Show with Stephen Colbert, host Stephen Colbert delves into the heartfelt and humorous aspects of celebrating Father's Day. Joined by his wife, Evie Colbert, and accompanied by musical guest Jon Batiste, the episode explores the intricacies of crafting the perfect Father's Day card, blending genuine emotion with Colbert's signature wit.

---

Main Segment: First Drafts – Crafting the Perfect Father's Day Card

The centerpiece of the episode is the "First Drafts" segment, where Stephen and Evie examine various Father's Day card messages. This segment highlights the difference between polished, store-bought sentiments and the more candid, first-attempt drafts that reveal deeper emotions and personal anecdotes.

• Introduction to First Drafts

  Stephen introduces the concept by presenting a standard Father's Day card message:

  "Dad, This Father's Day, you'll get just what you want. Time with your loving family."
  [05:00]

  He contrasts this with a humorous first draft:

  "Dad, this Father's Day, you'll get just what you want. A bowling ball. A Japanese watercolor. Rock climbing shoes. Wow. I do not know you at all."
  [05:16]

  Evie Colbert responds with laughter, appreciating the honesty behind the first draft.

• Emotion and Authenticity in Messages

  The discussion shifts to the emotional weight of being a new father. Stephen shares a personal anecdote about his first Father's Day:

  "I woke up in the middle of the night, standing on the bed holding a pillow, going, 'Where is she?'"
  [06:38]

  This vulnerability underscores the challenges and fears new fathers face, adding depth to the Father's Day celebration.

• Creative Expressions of Gratitude

  Stephen presents another polished card message:

  "To the man who spends his weekends teaching me how to change attire. Happy Father's Day."
  [08:09]

  Followed by its candid first draft version:

  "To the man who spent his weekends teaching me how to change a tire, I never really listened. Can you come get me?"
  [08:16]

  These exchanges highlight the blend of admiration and the humorous, everyday struggles between fathers and their children.

• Acknowledging Stepdads

  The episode also touches on the role of stepfathers with a heartfelt message:

  "You're not my stepfather. You're my father who stepped up. Happy Father's Day."
  [10:20]

  Contrastingly, the first draft takes a comedic turn:

  "You're not my stepfather. Cause to me, you'll always be Rick from the gym who took away my mommy. I hate you, Rick."
  [10:28]

  This juxtaposition emphasizes appreciation while maintaining Colbert's characteristic humor.

---

Insights and Reflections

Throughout the segment, Stephen Colbert and Evie Colbert explore the balance between heartfelt messages and the imperfections that make familial relationships authentic. The "First Drafts" showcase not only the love and respect for fathers but also the relatable, imperfect moments that define family bonds.

A notable quote encapsulating this sentiment is:

"Dads just keep it all inside. Keep it all inside. Give me advice."
[06:22]

This line reflects the often unspoken struggles and silent strengths of fatherhood, resonating with listeners who appreciate the multifaceted roles fathers play.

---

Conclusion

The "First Drafts Father's Day 2025" episode of The Late Show Pod Show with Stephen Colbert offers a blend of humor, sincerity, and personal storytelling to celebrate fathers. By examining both polished and raw expressions of gratitude, the episode provides listeners with a nuanced perspective on fatherhood, encouraging authenticity in celebrating the men who shape our lives.

---

Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Stephen Colbert [05:16]: "Dad, this Father's Day, you'll get just what you want. A bowling ball. A Japanese watercolor. Rock climbing shoes. Wow. I do not know you at all."
• Stephen Colbert [06:38]: "I woke up in the middle of the night, standing on the bed holding a pillow, going, 'Where is she?'"
• Evie Colbert [08:27]: "That's good. You did that."
• Stephen Colbert [10:28]: "Cause to me, you'll always be Rick from the gym who took away my mommy. I hate you, Rick."

---

This episode serves as a heartfelt homage to fathers, blending humor with genuine appreciation, making it a memorable Father's Day tribute for listeners.

Transcript

[Stephen Colbert]

Hey, everybody. Stephen Colbert here about to read the copy for our sponsor. This is from our friends at Wonderful Pistachios. And I was the wonderful pistachio spokesman for years. Yeah, I have a real close association with nut meat. Okay. You know what they say when they reach for a snack? Don't hold back. And that's exactly the approach with Wonderful Pistachios. The don't hold back snack. These little wonders are so tasty, it feels like getting away with something. But surprise. Each serving has 6 grams of protein and 0 grams of regret. That's right. No guilt. Just glory, glory in our nuts. Whether it's a satisfying crack of in shell pistachios, and that's capitalized in shell, or the smooth, instant gratification of no shells. No judgment. That's just it. Just eat. No judgment. I take issue with one thing. It's instant gratification. It's super tasty smooth.

[Jon Batiste]

It's a hard nut smooth.

[Evie Colbert]

Exactly.

[Stephen Colbert]

I mean, even out of the shell, it's still a nut.

[Jon Batiste]

We can't disparage the nuts.

[Stephen Colbert]

You. I'm not disparaging the nut. I'm describing the nut.

[Jon Batiste]

Don't disparage any flavors.

[Stephen Colbert]

I'm not. I am celebrating the pistachio right now. I'm on board. I love pistachios. I love. I love crushed pistachio. Like a pistachio crusted trout.

[Evie Colbert]

Oh, unbelievable.

[Stephen Colbert]

Instead of a trout amandine, a trout pistachio. Fantastic. Enough butter? Who cares?

[Jon Batiste]

Very good.

[Stephen Colbert]

And I love pistachio ice cream.

[Jon Batiste]

Have you had the sea salt and vinegar? Wonderful pistachio. It's delicious. I get them.

[Stephen Colbert]

I didn't even know I get them.

[Jon Batiste]

Before the softball games.

[Stephen Colbert]

But that's. You see, it's been a while since I've been the spokesman for wonderful pistachios. I didn't realize we'd achieved new pistachio technology.

[Jon Batiste]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Stephen Colbert]

Wow. Wonderful pistachios has every snack style covered. Right now. There's an obsession with jalapeno lime. There is an obsession session. It's almost a disorder. It's spicy, it's zesty. It's basically a flavor roller coaster in a nut. Snacking on the go. Grab a bag of no shells. Feeling contemplative and want to work for it a little. So earning it, they're saying if you want to earn your nut, crack open those in shell beauties. Either way, it's snacking like a champ. So the next time hunger strikes, don't hold back. Unless it's a hunger strike. And then it's important that you do, because whatever you're doing that for, I'm sure it's a worthwhile cause. Snack like you mean it with wonderful pistachios. Visit wonderfulpistachios.com to learn more.

[Jon Batiste]

That was a wonderful.

[Stephen Colbert]

I wonder what more there is to learn. We just told them so much. We just told them so much about pistachios. But evidently there's a whole other world. There's an unexplored vista.

[Jon Batiste]

They got a bunch of flavors. They got dill pickle, jalapeno lime, as we learned, smoky barbecue. There's a lot of different flavors.

[Stephen Colbert]

Wow. And I would not disparage any of them.

[Jon Batiste]

No, no, no.

[Stephen Colbert]

Bring it on.

[Jon Batiste]

Nothing bad to say.

[Stephen Colbert]

Nut me, nut, nut me with nut meat.

[Jon Batiste]

We're nut.

[Stephen Colbert]

No, we got nothing but nut. Nutty, nutty, nutty, nutty. Talk about, talk about, talk about, talk about, talk about nutty. Good.

[Evie Colbert]

You ever hit that moment when your kid asks for help with homework and you're like, wait, when did long division get this complicated? Or maybe your child's flying through lessons and getting bored in class? Yeah, been there. Whether they're struggling or soaring, IXL can make a real difference. IXL is an award winning online platform that helps kids really understand what they're learning. It covers math, language arts, science and social studies from Pre K through 12th grade. And it's actually fun, engaging, personalized, and packed with encouraging feedback to help keep them motivated. IXL is used by 96 of the top 100 school districts in the US and it's no surprise it's backed by research. Kids using IXL are scoring higher on tests, and studies from almost every state show they're consistently doing better. Make an impact on your child's learning. Get IXL now. And listeners of this podcast can get an exclusive 20% off IXL membership when they sign up today at ixllearning.com audio visit ixllearning.com audio to get the most effective learning program out there at the best price.

[Stephen Colbert]

It's the Late Show Poncho with Stephen Colbert.

Oh, folks, this Sunday is Father's Day. And what Father's Day without Father's Day cards would ever be complete. And we'll take a look at some of those in my segment. First drafts. No, no. Stupid. Please welcome the reason I am a father, my lovely wife, Ev. Hi, darling. Welcome.

[Evie Colbert]

Hi.

[Stephen Colbert]

Hello.

You look fantastic.

Hello.

Hello. Hello, darling. Why don't you have a seat? Why don't you have a seat? Hi, guys. Hello. Well, happy, happy Happy Father's Day. Exactly. I can't really say Happy Father's Day to myself. Happy Father's Day to all the fathers out there. You know how this works?

I do, I do. I'm an expert.

There you go. You want to hold these for a second?

Got it.

Got it. Did you want to tell the people what's going to happen? I'll tell them what's going to happen.

No, I'm just going to hand you cards.

No, they don't know. Give me this. They don't know what's going to happen. They do. Not everybody watches every show, ok? You're only wasting time at this point.

Give it back.

Give it back. Give them back. No. No. It's Father's Day. I get to do what I want. Finally, final. It's Father's Day, and finally Stephen Colbert gets some attention. So what I'm gonna do is I'm gonna show you guys a nice Father's Day card that you might find in the store, and then we'll see the not so great first draft of that card. Here's a nice one, dad. This Father's Day, you'll get just what you want. Time with your loving family. That is true. That is true. But the first draft said, dad, this Father's Day, you'll get just what you want. A bowling ball. A Japanese watercolor. Rock climbing shoes. Wow. I do not know you at all.

That's sad.

Luke's dads keep it to themselves. Dads just keep it all inside. Keep it all inside. Give me advice.

I think we should say something to new fathers. New fathers who? This is their first Father's Day. Let's just hope they don't wake up in the middle of the night staring at a pillow, looking for their baby.

I did that.

You did?

I did that when our first child was born.

That's true. I woke up in the middle of the night.

I was standing all day on the bed holding a pillow, going. And you said, what are you doing? And I said, where is she?

Yeah, it was a little scary.

And you said she was. She's in her bassinet.

Thank God she's not near you.

Exactly. Here's one with an acronym. It says F A T H E R. Fearless, Adventurous. Talented. Heroic. Energetic. Role model.

Sweet.

That is really nice.

I like it.

But the first draft said, F A T H E R face. And then hat eyes. Round.

Round.

It's just round for our round. It's just the first draft. That's why they didn't sell it. So new Fathers.

No, but that's what you.

Also.

One point.

You were holding the stove at one time. I did. I thought our daughter was doing, like, baby's day out and, like, crawling around the city, and she was literally, like, walking on a shelf, and it was about to fall off the shelf, like a bookshelf. A high shelf. So I woke up standing on the headboard. Standing like my toes. Like a rock climber, toes on the headboard with one hand on the ceiling, and the suspension between those two keeping her from crawling off the shelf.

See, this is what I mean. Young dads, new dads. It's a scary time.

There's anxiety. You want to make sure you don't fall out.

But for the young moms, it's an even scarier time because you have to.

Wake up and your husband is standing on the headboard. Yes.

And you have a newborn. We got through it.

We did. Here's a sweet one. To the man who spends his weekends teaching me how to change attire. Happy Father's Day.

That's good. You did that.

You saw. But the first draft said, to the man who spent his weekends teaching me how to change a tire, I never really listened. Can you come get me? All three. All three.

Also. Very true.

Very true. All of them. I showed him how to change the oil, change the tire, brakes, all that kind of stuff. And then they're like, do I take off the gas cap before I take the tire off? Give me that. Give me that. This one says, dad, you'll never get all the credit you deserve. But know that I would be nothing without you. Aw, that's nice. Aw. The first draft said, dad, you'll never get all the credit you deserve. Cause I told all the kids at my school that my dad is Pedro Pascal. Don't blow this thing. That's true.

You could clap for Pedro.

I could. I got a little scruffy. Got a little scruffy there. We're on to. This is the last one, isn't it?

It's the last one.

What's your favorite Doobie Brothers song?

I don't know. What's your favorite?

You can't just go China Grove. You can't go Black Water. You can't do taking it to the streets. Black Water, Black Water.

What's your favorite?

Taking it to the streets. You won't know me. I'm your brother. How are great here in this. I love. Michael McDonald is one of only two artists who never uses a consonant. Yeah, it's all vows. Ho ho, hella me. Hang on over Me hair. Hi. Hiding a horn. Give me that. Give me this.

See if I see the other one being.

Other one being Anita Baker. Anita Baker. Anita Baker is the other one. Okay. A duet between Michael McDonald and Nina Baker because. No, just the All Vowel album. I love it.

I'm there for it. I hope.

I hope Michael's downstairs watching this. All love, Michael. This is all love.

Huge admiration. I love. I love the Doobie Brothers.

This one's for a stepdad. You're not my stepfather. You're my father who stepped up. Happy Father's Day.

Oh, that's sweet.

That's nice. But the first draft said you're not my stepfather. Cause to me, you'll always be Rick from the gym who took away my mommy. I hate you, rick.

Yikes.

Heavy McGee, everybody. Thank you for listening to the Late Show Pod show with Stephen Colbert. Just one more thing. If you want to see more of me, come to the late show YouTube channel for more clips and exclusives. 911 stage emergency. Yes.

Somebody killed two girls. My grandbaby and my friend.

They're dead. They're dead.

[Evie Colbert]

A Paramount plus a original.

[Stephen Colbert]

She wants to find more young women for him to kill.

[Evie Colbert]

The untold stories of the real cases.

[Stephen Colbert]

Each one he gets away with. He's emboldened.

[Evie Colbert]

The FBI can't shake.

[Stephen Colbert]

It's very satisfying to be able to look at a bad guy and go, we never forgot you.

[Evie Colbert]

An all new season of FBI True streaming now on Paramount. Plus, this summer, Pluto TV is exploding with thousands of free movies presenting summer of cinema Stream hits like Good Burger.

[Stephen Colbert]

Can I take your order?

[Evie Colbert]

Four Brothers the Wood, Paid in Full. And Beverly Hills Cop 1, 2 and 3.

[Stephen Colbert]

How you doing?

[Evie Colbert]

All for free. Get ready to feel the free with all the blockbusters one Summer can handle. And keep up with the action from virtually any of your devices. Summer will never be the same. Pluto tv Stream now pay. Never.