The Late Show Pod Show with Stephen Colbert

Episode: First Drafts with Evie | Holiday Cards 2025
Date: December 21, 2025

Episode Overview

In this festive episode, Stephen Colbert is joined by his wife, Evie McGee, for the “First Drafts” segment, where they humorously unveil imagined "first drafts" of classic holiday cards. The episode blends the couple's natural chemistry with witty banter and whimsical riffs on holiday traditions, gift giving, travel mishaps, and the relatable awkwardness of neighborhood relationships.

Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Holiday Traditions & Relationships

• Opening Festivities:

  • Stephen sets a warm, jovial tone celebrating holiday togetherness and pokes gentle fun at perennial party guests like “Alan”:
    • “Is he a cousin? Is he someone's former co-worker? No one's sure, but he's there every year. Good to see you again, Alan.” [04:39]
  • The importance of holiday cards and familial roles is immediately established, with Stephen introducing Evie as his “legal wife”:
    • "My legal wife, Evie. Oh my God. Your vision." [05:36]

• Colbert Couple Dynamics:

  • Their playful, loving rapport shines as they joke about legal vs. "non-legal" wives and Evie’s outfit:
    • “No, but you are legally my wife. This isn’t just some sort of common law marriage.” [05:53]
    • Evie: “Don’t you think I look like a baddie in like a Marvel movie?” [06:07]
    • Stephen: “This, lose this, maybe. I think this takes away from the baddie.” [06:11]

2. “First Drafts” Segment: Holiday Cards

• Explaining the Bit:

  • Stephen clarifies the setup: he’ll show a traditional holiday card, then reveal a “first draft” that’s funnier—sometimes painfully relatable, sometimes dark.
    • “I show the audience a lovely holiday card… and then I show them the not so great first draft of that same card.” [06:53]

• First Card—Neighbor Greetings:

  • Hallmark version: “Merry Christmas, neighborhood. Living near people like you is the best gift of all.”
  • First Draft: “Merry Christmas, neighbor. I forgot your name and now it’s too late to ask. I’m gonna go with ‘Chief’ until one of us moves or dies.” [07:26]
  • Leads to real-life admission:
    • Evie: “Actually, the people across the street... I don’t know their name—” [07:51]
    • Stephen: “We thought they were spies… They wear black and they wear leather clothes and stuff like that.” [08:09]

• Gift-Giving Philosophy Card:

  • Hallmark version: “It’s not the number of presents under the tree that matters. It’s the health and happiness of our loved ones. Merry Christmas.”
  • First Draft: “It’s not the number of presents under the tree that matters. It’s the total value of all the presents. For example, one present that costs $2,000 is better than 10 presents that only add up to $1,500.” [09:06]
  • Gift preferences revealed:
    • Evie: “I want a couple of presents… I don’t want just one.” [09:24]
    • Stephen: “I know that every Christmas you really would like someone to give you a book.” [09:26]

• Road Trip Rituals & Mishaps:

  • Discussing their holiday drive to Charleston:
    • Stephen: “We have our 14-hour drive to Charleston…” [10:28]
    • Evie: “For you to leave your phone in a bathroom on the interstate.” [10:31]
    • Stephen: “I did that once. But you couldn’t do it again. No, I will never do it again. Because of that.” [10:40]

• Snowman Family Card:

  • Hallmark version: “Happy holidays. From some jolly happy souls.”
  • First Draft: “Happy Holidays. If you remove our hats, we will die.” [11:19]
    • Stephen: “That’s how Frosty comes to life… and if you take the hat off, he dies… or becomes inanimate. His soul leaves his body.” [11:47]
    • Audience (and Stephen): “Dark.” [11:56–11:57]

• Spy-Themed Card:

  • Hallmark version: “I’ll be home for Christmas. You can count on me.”
  • First Draft: “I’ll be home for Christmas. If you wanted to kill me in Marrakesh, you should have finished the job.” [12:27]

3. Playful Spousal Competition

• Evie playfully exposes that she’s already gotten Stephen a gift, prompting faux distress:
  • Stephen: “I’m way behind… you on the Christmas present. And now I feel terrible.” [12:02]
  • Evie, in her leather dress: “I’m wearing a leather dress. Just don’t cross me.” [12:17]

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Neighbor Amnesia:

  • Stephen: “I forgot your name and now it’s too late to ask. I’m gonna go with ‘Chief’ until one of us moves or dies.” [07:26]

• Gift Value Wisdom:

  • Stephen: “For example, one present that costs $2,000 is better than 10 presents that only add up to $1,500. Are you writing sound wisdom?” [09:06]

• Bookworm Confession:

  • Stephen: “I know that every Christmas you really would like someone to give you a book.”
  • Evie: “So, you can get me—”
  • Stephen: “I’m getting you a book. Don’t you worry about that.” [09:31–09:39]

• French Fry Travel Rules:

  • Evie: “If we leave really early, how early can you get the first french fries?”
  • Stephen: “11 AM is the earliest… That’s why I don’t want to leave at 6. I don’t want to wait that long for the fries.” [11:04–11:16]

• On the Dark Side of Holiday Cards:

  • Stephen: “If you remove our hats, we will die.”
  • (Both, laughing): “Dark.” [11:47–11:57]

• Marriage Banter:

  • Stephen: “I just found out that I’m way behind… you on the Christmas present. And now I feel terrible.”
  • Evie: “Well, snap up… Just don't cross me.” [12:02–12:17]

Timestamps for Key Segments

• [04:39] – Stephen’s intro to holiday traditions and greeting to Evie
• [06:53] – Explanation of “First Drafts” segment
• [07:26] – Neighbor card and real-life neighbor-spy theory
• [09:06] – Expensive gift vs. many gifts debate
• [09:26–09:39] – Book as Christmas gift conversation
• [10:28–10:40] – Road trip and phone mishap story
• [11:19] – Snowman card with a dark twist
• [12:02–12:17] – Gift-giving competition and leather dress threat
• [12:27] – Spy-themed holiday card punchline

Tone & Atmosphere

The episode is warm, goofy, and festive, full of the sparkling, affectionate back-and-forth between Stephen and Evie Colbert. Their quirky takes on holiday conventions and personal anecdotes lend warmth and hilarity to the proceedings—making this a standout holiday-themed installment for fans and newcomers alike.

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