Intro Rewind: First Drafts With Evie (Extended)

Summary

The Late Show Pod Show with Stephen Colbert

Episode: Intro Rewind: First Drafts With Evie (Extended)
Date: August 27, 2025

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Overview

This engaging episode brings together Stephen Colbert and his wife, Evie Colbert, for a special “First Drafts” segment focused on holiday cards. Evie joins Stephen for a playful, laughter-filled critique of greeting card “first drafts,” mixing genuine holiday warmth with their trademark banter. The episode opens with behind-the-scenes conversation with the show’s producers and Jon Stewart, teasing a new mailbag segment and sharing anecdotes about audience interaction, before transitioning to the extended on-air “First Drafts” feature.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Behind-the-Scenes & Upcoming Mailbag (01:35–07:12)

• Holiday Podcast Special:
  The producer and host announce a run of festive podcasts, highlighting the extended “First Drafts” with Evie and teasing that it may be the last one for a while as the show enters a new season.

• The Mailbag Concept:
  Jon Stewart explains the decision to introduce a new “Mailbag” segment, inviting letters from listeners that Evie will help read on the show.

  “She's going to help me. She's going to be my beautiful assistant or I'm going to be her beautiful assistant.” (03:01, Jon Stewart)
  They note they've already received over 350 letters.

• Audience Interaction History:
  Stephen and Jon recount TV history of engaging audiences, referencing both the Howdy Doody Show’s 1940s postcard stunt and Stephen's own experience after the 2006 White House Correspondents' Dinner.

  “By Monday morning, there were like 10,000 letters on there. And it ended up being 75,000 letters.” (05:44, Jon Stewart)

• Recalling the Super PAC:
  The hosts reminisce about the time their satirical Super PAC raised $1.2 million, prompting both delight and dread:

  “I'm like, oh, what do I do with over a million dollars of comedy money?” (06:36, Stephen Colbert)
  “A well-known billionaire called me up... he said, I'll give you another half mil. Like that. I’m like, do not give me any more money.” (06:48, Jon Stewart)

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2. First Drafts Holiday Cards with Evie Colbert (07:23–17:19)

Warm Holiday Banter

Evie joins Stephen for a cheerful exchange full of gentle teasing and marital rapport, setting a cozy, festive tone.

“But even the best cards don't nail it on the first try. So tonight we'll take a look at some of the early attempts in our segment.” (07:59, Stephen Colbert)

Holiday Gift Shenanigans

• The couple exchange mock complaints about who got who a present and joke about Stephen’s public dancing for Oprah:

  "You're the one who said, go dance with Oprah." (09:58, Stephen Colbert)
  "I didn't know you were going to do the same. You got to get some new moves, hun. I mean, we've all seen the triple pirouette a lot." (10:03, Evie Colbert)

First Drafts Cards—Segment Highlights

Evie reacts to Stephen’s “first draft” versions of common holiday cards. The duo riff on the pitfalls of greeting card etiquette, family traditions, and holiday mishaps.

• Forgetting Children’s Names:

  “I said you and yours because I can never remember your kid's name. I want to say Cashley. Is that a name?” (10:33, Stephen Colbert)
  “Oh my God, that is such a real problem.” (10:40, Evie Colbert)

• Holiday Photos & Family Participation:
  The Colberts discuss their children helping with the Christmas card, favoring silly, unflattering photos.

• Entering the Christmas Spirit:

  “I took a nap and I woke up and just felt fantastic. I recommend everyone please nap this Christmas. That's a public service.” (11:31, Stephen Colbert)

• Religious Card Jokes:
  They lampoon over-earnest religious cards, joking about Christ’s gift registry:

  “But the first draft said Christ is born, and Mary and Joseph sent us the baby gift registry. But it's like, his dad is God. He's rich. That's tacky.” (13:07, Stephen Colbert)

• Hanukkah Card & 'Bossy Bottom':
  A playful aside about RuPaul lingo and Andy Cohen’s infamous label for Evie:

  “That reminds me that Andy Cohen called me a bossy bottom.” (13:30, Evie Colbert)
  “And you have not yet looked up what that means.” (13:36, Stephen Colbert)

• Let It Snow—Cannibalism Riff:
  The “first draft” goes dark comedy:

  “It doesn't show signs of stopping. Oh, God, we're trapped till spring. Let's draw straws to see who we eat. Who do you think? Who would eat who? Me more delicious or you more delicious?” (14:36, Stephen Colbert)
  “I'm pretty well marbled. And I don't move much... I'm more like Kobe beef. Just pour me beer and massage me every so often.” (14:54, Stephen Colbert)

• Twelve Drummers Drumming—Holiday Logistics:

  “On the 12th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me. A total logistical nightmare. Where am I supposed to put 12 drummers drumming?” (15:55, Stephen Colbert)

• Pear Trees as ‘Trash Trees’:

  “My mother used to say pear trees were sort of like trash trees.” (16:24, Evie Colbert)

• OnlyFans Gag:

  “Ho ho ho. More like man ho. I found your only fans, Chris.” (17:06, Stephen Colbert)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

| Timestamp | Speaker | Quote | |-----------|------------------|--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 03:01 | Jon Stewart | “She's going to help me. She's going to be my beautiful assistant or I'm going to be her beautiful assistant.” | | 05:44 | Jon Stewart | “By Monday morning, there were like 10,000 letters on there. And it ended up being 75,000 letters.” | | 06:36 | Stephen Colbert | “I'm like, oh, what do I do with over a million dollars of comedy money?” | | 09:58 | Stephen Colbert | “You're the one who said, go dance with Oprah.” | | 10:33 | Stephen Colbert | “I said you and yours because I can never remember your kid's name. I want to say Cashley. Is that a name?” | | 11:31 | Stephen Colbert | “I took a nap and I woke up and just felt fantastic. I recommend everyone please nap this Christmas. That's a public service.” | | 13:07 | Stephen Colbert | “But the first draft said Christ is born, and Mary and Joseph sent us the baby gift registry. But it's like, his dad is God. He's rich.” | | 13:30 | Evie Colbert | “That reminds me that Andy Cohen called me a bossy bottom.” | | 14:54 | Stephen Colbert | “I'm pretty well marbled. And I don't move much... I'm more like Kobe beef. Just pour me beer and massage me every so often.” | | 15:55 | Stephen Colbert | “On the 12th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me. A total logistical nightmare. Where am I supposed to put 12 drummers drumming?” | | 16:24 | Evie Colbert | “My mother used to say pear trees were sort of like trash trees.” | | 17:06 | Stephen Colbert | “Ho ho ho. More like man ho. I found your only fans, Chris.” |

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• 01:35–07:12 | Behind the scenes, Mailbag Introduction, Super PAC Anecdotes
• 07:23–17:19 | First Drafts Holiday Card Segment with Evie — Main Content

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Tone and Energy

• Warm, playful, and teasing: The signature dynamic between Stephen and Evie blends mutual affection with quick-witted jabs, family in-jokes, and irreverent humor.
• Cohesive holiday spirit: Despite the comedic tone, there is genuine warmth and relatability in their discussions about family, holiday stress, and traditions.
• Meta and self-aware: The show frequently pokes fun at itself, its audience, and the conventions of both late night TV and holiday rituals.

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Conclusion

This extended episode offers fans a rare, intimate look into Stephen Colbert’s life with his equally hilarious wife, Evie. Their banter on holiday cards is infused with both absurdity and authenticity, providing lots of laughs and a little inspiration for those crafting their own imperfect holiday greetings. The episode also spotlights the show's ongoing evolution, inviting audience participation in the new Mailbag feature and reflecting on the power and unpredictability of fan engagement.

Listeners interested in tradition, comedy, and a bit of sentimentality will find this a truly enjoyable holiday special.

Transcript

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[Jon Stewart]

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[Jon Stewart]

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[Stephen Colbert]

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[Jon Stewart]

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[Stephen Colbert]

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[Podcast Producer]

Hey, everybody. You're listening to the Late Show Pod Show.

[Stephen Colbert]

I'm Stephen Colbert and I'm Becca.

[Podcast Producer]

I'm one of the producers here at the podcast. And we're here, we're talking before some pods this week and next week to get you in the holiday spirit. And today we have a nice extended podcast with your wife Evie.

[Jon Stewart]

Oh, fantastic.

[Podcast Producer]

Yeah.

[Jon Stewart]

Is this extended extended podcast meaning it's like an uncut first drafts or something like that?

[Podcast Producer]

Yes.

[Jon Stewart]

Is that this recent one we just did?

[Podcast Producer]

Yeah, the holiday cards.

[Jon Stewart]

Absolutely. Lovely.

[Podcast Producer]

Yeah. So lovely. You guys have a nice time together. And this might be the last first drafts for a while, right? Cause you guys are launching into the new season.

[Jon Stewart]

Well, I'm not sure we're gonna necessarily kill first drafts, but we have such a good time together when Evie's on. And it's, you know, a. I'm nervous. I want my wife to have a good time, but it's also just so relaxing when she's out there because it's completely effortless. And the laugh I want to get is Evie's laugh, as always has been supposed. When I was younger, it was my mom's, but I don't know what Dr. Freud has to say about that. But now I really want to get Evie's laugh. And we just don't want to do as many first drafts because we were. The fact that you do Thanksgiving cards is pretty suspicious.

[Stephen Colbert]

Come on.

[Jon Stewart]

You know those Thanksgiving cards everyone sends out. But what we're gonna do is we're gonna do Mailbag. We've never done mailbag before. And so we've got people sending. We've already got. I mean, last count, and this was well over a week ago, we had 350 letters.

[Podcast Producer]

Oh, wow.

[Jon Stewart]

So cool. Yeah. So she's just.

[Stephen Colbert]

Come on.

[Jon Stewart]

We're not going to know what the questions are. Anything. We're just going to. She's going to help me. She's going to be my beautiful assistant or I'm going to be her beautiful assistant. I don't know.

[Podcast Producer]

What are they questions? Are they advice? What do you.

[Jon Stewart]

I don't know. I haven't read them.

[Stephen Colbert]

Okay, what am I looking for? Oh, what? Your letter.

[Jon Stewart]

It's just your letter to the. It's their letter to the show.

[Podcast Producer]

Oh, beautiful. Okay, great.

[Jon Stewart]

And, yeah, just keep in mind, like, if. If you send a letter into the show and you know the ones we're not going to read.

[Podcast Producer]

Yes.

[Jon Stewart]

Okay.

[Podcast Producer]

Yeah. But you can send in those letters if you go to the link in our bio on Instagram. There's a nice little Google Drive doc that you can go in, fill out, send in your letters, and we will. Maybe you'll see them on the show. Very exciting.

[Stephen Colbert]

Excellent.

[Podcast Producer]

I was listening to a cool podcast about the Howdy Doody show and they talk.

[Jon Stewart]

The Howdy Doody Show.

[Stephen Colbert]

Yep.

[Podcast Producer]

Yeah, they did a thing where it was, you know, it was one of the first kids TV shows of all time. They had no idea how to track ratings back then. There was no Nielsen report. So what they did geniusly was the writers said, howdy Doody's gonna run for president of the Kids of America, and you have to vote for him by sending in a postcard. And then they were gonna count the postcards to see how many people were actually listening. They had to stop. They closed down the posts like the mailroom when they got 60,000.

[Jon Stewart]

Yes.

[Podcast Producer]

And it meant that there were more postcards being sent in than there were households in America that had the capability to play the Howdy Doody show.

[Stephen Colbert]

Oh, wow.

[Podcast Producer]

Because all the kids in the neighborhood were like, you know, wow. So this could also. This could be fun. This could be.

[Jon Stewart]

After the correspondence dinner of 2006, I came in. I didn't really pay attention. Like, I did the show that night. I did the Correspondence association show for Bush and that sort of thing. And, you know, there's a little whiff of brimstone that night, but I didn't pay that much attention to it. I was kind of tired and we went home. We went to like, one CNN party. And then I went home and drank a lot of Jack Daniels and watched Peter Jackson's King Kong and finally got to sleep around 5 o' clock in the morning because I was pretty keyed up. And then the next night, took the train back. Didn't, you know, didn't pay any attention. Didn't know. And then I didn't know. I walked into the office the next day and some people said, hey, have you looked online? And I said, no. What about what they said about the correspondence center? I said, no, I haven't had a chance. They said, you should check out what's being said online. I said, okay, send me some links. Because I didn't really like searching for myself. And so somebody sent me a link called thank you, Stephen Colbert. Somebody set up just a little post there for people to leave me letters like, Dear Steven. It was how they felt about the correspondence dinner. And I clicked on it, and by Monday morning, there were like 10,000 letters on there. And it ended up being 75,000 letters.

[Podcast Producer]

Oh, my goodness.

[Jon Stewart]

On that. And I think Evie had them all. I think she had them all cashed. I read one and I went, okay, that's enough.

[Podcast Producer]

Yeah.

[Jon Stewart]

And then someday, I don't know what my dotage. I guess I'll sit there and read 75,000 letters. So I'm not saying I'm not comparing myself to Howdy Doody, because I would never.

[Stephen Colbert]

I would never.

[Podcast Producer]

There's some similarities. Television stars, that's one thing you have in common.

[Stephen Colbert]

That's true. That's true.

[Jon Stewart]

We also look great in chaps. But I would never compare myself to a great like that. But I love the roar when the audience is invited to do something and.

[Stephen Colbert]

They give you this roar that you don't expect.

[Jon Stewart]

Like when we did the chorus, when we did. On the old show, when we did the super PAC, we said, okay, let's start a super PAC. And this is how people can donate.

[Stephen Colbert]

We got $1.2 million.

[Jon Stewart]

I couldn't sleep at night, I was panicking.

[Stephen Colbert]

I'm like, oh, what do I do with over a million dollars of comedy money? They gave. They thought, they think I'm gonna do.

[Jon Stewart]

Something with this money.

[Stephen Colbert]

And then like a billionaire, a well.

[Jon Stewart]

Known billionaire called me up. Cause he saw I was talking about it on air and he said, I'll give you another half. I'll give you another half mil. Like that. I'm like, do not give me any more money.

[Stephen Colbert]

Anyway, it's gonna be great.

[Jon Stewart]

20, 25.

[Podcast Producer]

It's gonna be great. It's gonna be great. Send in those letters. Link in bio, and I'll put the link in the podcast description as well.

[Jon Stewart]

Oh, that's what we were talking about.

[Podcast Producer]

Exactly. Yeah, the letters. Letters.

[Stephen Colbert]

We're talk. I forgot why.

[Podcast Producer]

But please enjoy. This is Stephen and Evie talking about holiday first draft cards on the late show. POD show.

[Stephen Colbert]

Folks, it's the holidays. That special time of year when we celebrate with family and friends and someone in the family's new boyfriend who everyone knows will not be around next year. It was nice to meet you, Kevin. But that was a lot of talking about knives. Some people like to give out holiday cards. I do. But even the best cards don't nail it on the first try. So tonight we'll take a look at some of the early attempts in our segment. No. No. Stupid. As always, I need a little help. And as always, I have the best little helper. My wife. Evie. Come on out here, darling. Hey. Oh, I love. I love the velvet and arub. Yum. There you go. Please. What's please? There you go. Hello, first of all. There you go. Merry Christmas.

[Evie Colbert]

Thank you. Eggnog.

[Stephen Colbert]

Eggnog. Cheers.

[Evie Colbert]

Cheers.

[Stephen Colbert]

There you go. Let's get our nog on. There you go.

[Evie Colbert]

Merry Christmas. Thank you.

[Stephen Colbert]

I got your present.

[Evie Colbert]

I didn't get you a present.

[Stephen Colbert]

Oh, that's okay. I'm better than you are.

[Evie Colbert]

Oh, I think that's highly unfair.

[Stephen Colbert]

Open it up.

[Evie Colbert]

Thank you. Well, no. Oh.

[Stephen Colbert]

Does this taste funny? There you go. It's our book. You can get it. There's a code on it, so you can. There's a code or something. There you go. You can click on that and you get it. It's for the whole family.

[Evie Colbert]

Yay.

[Stephen Colbert]

Okay, darling, you know how this works?

[Evie Colbert]

I do, I do.

[Stephen Colbert]

Card's right there.

[Evie Colbert]

Thank you.

[Stephen Colbert]

What happens is I will show the people out there a Christmas card, the type dot might be sold in stores, and then I will show the not good enough to sell first draft of that same card.

[Evie Colbert]

Got it?

[Stephen Colbert]

Sound good? Are we ready for Christmas? I don't know. Do you have. I think I got you covered. Good. Do you have any idea what would you like?

[Evie Colbert]

I need some ideas. I need some ideas.

[Stephen Colbert]

I told you I just wanted handkerchiefs with an initial on it.

[Evie Colbert]

I did.

[Stephen Colbert]

I told you that in bed the other night. Like at 3 o' clock in the morning because we don't sleep anymore. No, at 3 o' clock in the morning I said, if you really get me some handkerchiefs with a Cassie on it. And you're like, don't you want all three initials of your initials? I said, no, my dad will use a C. I'll use a C. We.

[Evie Colbert]

Have to talk about the fact that you broke the Internet today because of me.

[Stephen Colbert]

Right? You're the one who said. You're the one who said, go dance with Oprah.

[Evie Colbert]

I didn't know you were going to do the same. You got to get some new moves, hun. I mean, we've all seen the triple pirouette a lot.

[Stephen Colbert]

You got to get a new show. Anyway, let's.

[Evie Colbert]

Let's go.

[Stephen Colbert]

Nice.

[Evie Colbert]

Sam's watching. All right.

[Stephen Colbert]

Okay. This is a nice one. It says, happy holidays to you and yours. May the new year be jolly and bright. You know the basics. The first draft read, happy holiday to you and yours. Okay, fine. I said you and yours because I can never remember your kid's name. I want to say Cashley. Is that a name?

[Evie Colbert]

Oh my God, that is such a real problem.

[Stephen Colbert]

That is such a real problem.

[Evie Colbert]

If they would have signed the Christmas card and I'm like, God, what are their kids names?

[Stephen Colbert]

Yes.

[Evie Colbert]

It's really hard now. Of course, her kids are adults.

[Stephen Colbert]

Braidlin. Braidlin and Cashley that you made Braidlin up. I did make up Braidlin, but there's gotta be a Braidlin out there somewhere.

[Evie Colbert]

How great was it our children helped with the Christmas card? I wasn't gonna do a Christmas card. I was kind of not feeling it. And they helped me put it together. And you know what they wanted the silly, silly shots of themselves.

[Stephen Colbert]

Yes. Almost unflattering.

[Evie Colbert]

Yeah. No, really?

[Stephen Colbert]

Yeah.

[Evie Colbert]

And then we put one of you hiding behind the Christmas tree, which I love.

[Stephen Colbert]

Every year when we put the Christmas tree up and we finish with all, everything, I get in there and pull the tree back into the corner, but then I'm stuck in the corner. It really just looked like they were.

[Jon Stewart]

Spending the rest of the Christmas holidays.

[Podcast Producer]

Yep.

[Stephen Colbert]

How's your Christmas. How's your Christmas spirit going?

[Evie Colbert]

It's getting better.

[Stephen Colbert]

Today it kicked in for Me.

[Evie Colbert]

Good. What happened?

[Stephen Colbert]

I took a nap and I woke up and just felt fantastic. I recommend everyone please nap this Christmas. That's a public service. That's a public service. And, you know, we are sponsored by the American Nap Council.

[Evie Colbert]

I got to see two of our three children today. That put me in the Christmas spirit.

[Stephen Colbert]

Oh, wow.

[Evie Colbert]

That was lucky.

[Stephen Colbert]

That was nice.

[Evie Colbert]

I'm sorry. You didn't.

[Stephen Colbert]

I did not. I didn't see anyone.

[Evie Colbert]

I'm sorry.

[Stephen Colbert]

No one loved.

[Evie Colbert]

Well, you were napping. You.

[Stephen Colbert]

I was napping. That was much better than seeing a child.

[Evie Colbert]

No.

[Stephen Colbert]

Okay. I'll see them when I wake up. Here's a religious classic. Christ is born. Hark, the herald angels sing. Seems aggressive. You know what I mean? Seems a little aggressive.

[Evie Colbert]

Why is that aggressive? That's the whole difference.

[Stephen Colbert]

Because it starts with Christ is born. Doesn't it usually, like, hark, the herald angels sing Glory to the newborn king.

[Evie Colbert]

And the borns afterwards because he's been born. Like, that's the whole thing.

[Stephen Colbert]

It usually starts with a hark, and then you hark to what they're saying. And what you're harking is, child is born. No. Yes. Those are the lyrics. I don't make the rules.

[Evie Colbert]

Well, it's not aggressive. I mean, it's literally to the point. This is why there's Christmas, because Jesus is born.

[Stephen Colbert]

Didn't know I was hosting the 700 Club. Tammy Faye, over here. There you go. Tammy Faye. Hold of a restaurant. No, really? But the first draft said Christ is born, and Mary and Joseph sent us the baby gift registry. But it's like, his dad is God. He's rich. That's tacky. I mean, it's tacky, right?

[Jon Stewart]

Honest to God.

[Stephen Colbert]

Yeah. Here's a Hanukkah card with some dreidels on it that says, you're the tops. Happy Hanukkah.

[Jon Stewart]

That's nice.

[Evie Colbert]

That's nice.

[Stephen Colbert]

The first draft said you're the tops or bottoms. Or maybe verse. I don't mean to assume, but I just started watching RuPaul's Drag Race, and I am learning a lot.

[Evie Colbert]

Is it rude for me to say, Is that negative?

[Stephen Colbert]

No, no, that's.

[Evie Colbert]

That reminds me that Andy Cohen called me a bossy bottom.

[Stephen Colbert]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Evie Colbert]

I kind of like that.

[Stephen Colbert]

And you have not yet looked up what that means.

[Evie Colbert]

I don't want to know.

[Stephen Colbert]

No, you don't.

[Evie Colbert]

I'm just gonna call myself.

[Stephen Colbert]

Or you do.

[Evie Colbert]

Oh, should I not say it? Is it like.

[Stephen Colbert]

What? No, it's fine. There's nothing wrong.

[Jon Stewart]

This is America.

[Evie Colbert]

Is it bad? It's not bad.

[Stephen Colbert]

Is it bad to be a bad at all? No, it's just. It's a. It's. It's a description of the role you play in a sexual relationship. Well, I figured.

[Evie Colbert]

But you could take it out of context, right?

[Stephen Colbert]

Yeah. And then put it back in context.

[Evie Colbert]

Geez. Wow.

[Stephen Colbert]

Hey. I mean, hey, you're the one who brought up bossy bottom. The bossy bottom. Okay.

[Evie Colbert]

It makes me seem racier than I am. I think it's good.

[Stephen Colbert]

There's no way to make you racier than you are. You're just. You're flame of passion at all times. This is a fun one. It says, let it snow, let it snow, let it snow. It doesn't show signs of stopping. And I brought some corn for popping. Merry Christmas.

[Jon Stewart]

There you go.

[Evie Colbert]

Very nice.

[Stephen Colbert]

The first draft read, let it snow, let it snow, let it snow. It doesn't show signs of stopping. Oh, God, we're trapped till spring. Let's draw straws to see who we eat. Who do you think? Who would rather who would eat you? Mew more delicious or me more delicious?

[Evie Colbert]

I think I have a little more fat, so I'm probably pretty good.

[Stephen Colbert]

Oh, I'm pretty well marbled. And I don't move much. You go exercise and I don't move much. I'm more like Kobe beef. Just pour me beer and massage me every so often.

[Evie Colbert]

Yeah, but I mean, we women, we're already geared for all the, like, soft spots, you know, we're probably very tasty somehow.

[Stephen Colbert]

Now this conversation is upsetting to me. I don't know how you made capitalism ugly.

[Evie Colbert]

I'm a glossy bottom, that's why.

[Stephen Colbert]

That's right. Here's an old fashioned one.

[Evie Colbert]

That's nice. I'm so naughty. I mean, I'm racy.

[Stephen Colbert]

You're naughty and nice. You're on both of Santa's lists. Here's an old fashioned one. It's the velvet.

[Evie Colbert]

It's the velvet.

[Stephen Colbert]

I like the velvet.

[Evie Colbert]

It's the velvet.

[Stephen Colbert]

You're very pettable. You're very pettable tonight. Here's an old fashioned one. It says, on the 12th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me. 12 drummers drumming.

[Jon Stewart]

Not much of a card, but that's the card.

[Stephen Colbert]

But the first draft said, on the 12th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me. A total logistical nightmare. Where am I supposed to put 12 drummers drumming? I still don't know what to do with the seven lords of Leaping. And those maids are getting milk everywhere. Yeah, very expensive. Very expensive drummers all the whole thing. Like through the golden rings and the partridges and everything. Super expensive. I'm not getting you any of that stuff. Would you like a partridge and a pear tree?

[Evie Colbert]

Sure, I'll take a pear tree.

[Stephen Colbert]

Really?

[Evie Colbert]

Well, I don't know. My mother used to say pear trees were sort of like trash trees.

[Stephen Colbert]

Your mother used to say pear trees were trash trees?

[Evie Colbert]

Well, because pear trees, a lot of them got planted in, you know, dish girl. It depends on the kind of pear tree. But there are a lot.

[Stephen Colbert]

Donjou.

[Evie Colbert]

Well, I think that's higher end.

[Stephen Colbert]

No, Bartlett.

[Evie Colbert]

Yeah, I think that Bartlett.

[Stephen Colbert]

Can you think of a third pear?

[Evie Colbert]

No.

[Stephen Colbert]

Gimp.

[Evie Colbert]

Anyway, nothing against pear trees. I think she meant that they were planted in like on highways and stuff like that. I don't know.

[Stephen Colbert]

We just lost the pear sponsorship.

[Evie Colbert]

Sorry.

[Stephen Colbert]

Here's one that says, ho ho ho. I love you so. Merry Christmas.

[Evie Colbert]

Oh, that's sweet.

[Stephen Colbert]

But the first draft said ho ho ho. More like man ho. I found your only fans, Chris.

[Evie Colbert]

Onlyfans.

[Stephen Colbert]

Merry Christmas, darling.

[Evie Colbert]

MERRY Christmas.

[Stephen Colbert]

Evie McGee, everybody. Thank you for listening to the Late Show Pod show with Stephen Colbert. Just one more thing. If you want to see more of me, come to The Late Show YouTube channel for more clips and exclusives.

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[Stephen Colbert]

September 4th on Paramount plus someone is trying to frame us until our names.

[Podcast Producer]

Are cleared, we're fugitives from interval like.

[Stephen Colbert]

Bonnie and Clyde with better snacks. NCIS Tony and Ziva streaming September 4th on Paramount Plus.