Intro Rewind: Keanu Reeves

Summary

The Late Show Pod Show with Stephen Colbert

Episode: Intro Rewind: Keanu Reeves (Big Questions with Even Bigger Stars)
Date: January 1, 2026
Podcast Host: Stephen Colbert
Guest: Keanu Reeves
Producer: Becca

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Episode Overview

This episode of The Late Show Pod Show serves a dual purpose: a warm, behind-the-scenes conversation about the show's internal culture, and a rewind of the beloved comedic/philosophical segment "Big Questions with Even Bigger Stars"—featuring actor Keanu Reeves. Colbert and producer Becca open with a lighthearted discussion around memorable late-night phrases, production quirks, and traditions before teeing up the main highlight: a witty, existentially-tinged Q&A between Colbert and Reeves, overflowing with surreal humor and friendly banter.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Behind-the-Scenes Banter & Show Vocabulary

(00:30–18:16)

• Producer Becca and Stephen Colbert reminisce about Keanu Reeves’ charming previous appearance on the show. Becca recalls everyone's awe:
  "Did not expect to be completely disarmed by how charming this man was and how great he looks." (02:02 – Becca)

• Late Show Vocab: Colbert and Becca humorously decode insider terms:

  • “TikTok” — shorthand for timing/rehearsal checks, derived from the Harlan Ellison story ‘Repent, Harlequin! Said the Ticktockman’, a dystopian tale about strict adherence to schedules.

    • "We got a lot of slang that we use as shorthand." (02:49 – Stephen)
    • "The Tetris of trying to make the acts all work together." (06:21 – Stephen)

  • “Nightly Tom” — nightly newsletter from executive producer Tom Purcell, forecasting the next day's news cycle and ensuring every story comes with a potential joke.

    • “He never lets himself off without writing at least one joke on every subject… sets a real standard for everybody.” (09:12 – Stephen)

  • “Fiber, anyone?” — a ritual involving applesauce snacks (Mott’s GoGo Squeez) shared before shows to counter coffee overload.

    • “Maybe it’s a pretty wild life… hosting a late night show, you know, back in the day, maybe… getting liquored up… Not in the 2000 and twenties. Yeah, it's applesauce.” (12:04 – Stephen & Becca)

  • “Get back to work” — a Colbert signature phrase, both as affectionate admonishment and productivity mantra, with an origin story tied to the logistical chaos of TV production.

    • “That’s what I have signed everything… People know that’s my form of affection.” (13:34 – Stephen)

  • “Stay strong, be brave” — another go-to Colbert autograph, inspired by an unprompted, supportive interaction with Terence Trent D’Arby and Dana Carvey after the rocky Dana Carvey Show debut:

    • “We got advice from Terence Trent Darby that… people might just go, stay strong, be brave. And so that is. That has been my comedic advice to everyone.” (17:40 – Stephen)

2. Big Questions with Even Bigger Stars: Keanu Reeves

(18:37–23:47)

A whimsical, faux-philosophical sketch where Colbert and Reeves lounge under a simulated night sky—exchanging “deep” metaphysical queries that mix insight, absurdity, and pop culture winks.

Notable Moments and Quotes:

• Opening reflection:

  • Keanu Reeves: "I love staring up at the night sky. Really makes me feel like the only person in the universe." (19:30)

• Contemplating the afterlife:

  • Stephen Colbert: "Where do we go when we die?"
  • Keanu Reeves: "I don't know, but I hope they have mozzarella sticks." (20:08)

• On youth and memory:

  • Keanu Reeves: "Do you think youth is wasted on the young?"
  • Stephen Colbert: "I don't remember because I spent so much of my youth wasted." (20:16–20:20)

• Simulation theory (with a classic misdirect):

  • Keanu Reeves: "Do you ever think maybe life is just a simulation?" (20:30)
  • Stephen Colbert: "What do you mean?"
  • Keanu Reeves: "…like in that sci-fi movie."
  • Stephen Colbert: "Oh, right. Tron." (20:52)

• If tomorrow was your last day:

  • Keanu Reeves: "If you knew you were going to die tomorrow, what would you do today?"
  • Stephen Colbert: "I'd clear my browser history." (21:03–21:12)

• On bucket lists:

  • Keanu Reeves: "What's on your bucket list?"
  • Stephen Colbert: "Oh, it's so long. I mean, let's see. A red bucket, a blue bucket, a KFC bucket." (21:26)

• Alien encounters:

  • Keanu Reeves: "If extraterrestrial life is real, what's the first question you'd ask them?"
  • Stephen Colbert: "Probably. Could you please take that probe out of my butt?" (21:53)

• Keanu on favorite quotes:

  • Stephen Colbert: "What's your favorite quote?"
  • Keanu Reeves: "Hmm, I think it's what's your favorite quote by Stephen Kobach?"
  • Stephen Colbert: "Whoa." (22:12–22:27)

• Are there secrets behind the clouds?

  • Keanu Reeves: "Do you ever think there might be something hiding behind the clouds?"
  • Stephen Colbert: "Yes. Sky perverts." (22:43)

• Memories & movie meta-joke:

  • Keanu Reeves: "How do you know that memories are real?"
  • Stephen Colbert: "…One time in the 90s, I was on this out of control bus with Sandra Bullock."
  • Keanu Reeves: "Keanu, I don't think that's real."
  • Stephen Colbert: "What are you talking about? Of course it's real. Sandra Bullock is real." (23:01–23:25)

• Closing on mortality and gratitude:

  • Keanu Reeves: "What do you think happens after all this?"
  • Stephen Colbert: "Well, I think it'll be hard, but I think we'll be grateful for the time we had together. And then I'll throw to a commercial break." (23:29–23:47)

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Memorable Quotes and their Context

| Timestamp | Speaker | Quote | |-------------|-----------------|--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 02:02 | Becca | "Did not expect to be completely disarmed by how charming this man was and how great he looks." | | 06:21 | Stephen Colbert | "The Tetris of trying to make the acts all work together." | | 09:12 | Stephen Colbert | "He never lets himself off without writing at least one joke on every subject… sets a real standard for everybody." | | 13:34 | Stephen Colbert | "That’s what I have signed everything… People know that’s my form of affection." | | 17:40 | Stephen Colbert | "We got advice from Terence Trent Darby that… people might just go, stay strong, be brave. And so that is. That has been my comedic advice to everyone." | | 19:30 | Keanu Reeves | "I love staring up at the night sky. Really makes me feel like the only person in the universe." | | 20:08 | Keanu Reeves | "I don't know, but I hope they have mozzarella sticks." | | 20:20 | Stephen Colbert | "I don't remember because I spent so much of my youth wasted." | | 20:52 | Stephen Colbert | "Oh, right. Tron." | | 21:12 | Stephen Colbert | "I'd clear my browser history." | | 21:26 | Stephen Colbert | "Oh, it's so long. I mean, let's see. A red bucket, a blue bucket, a KFC bucket." | | 21:53 | Stephen Colbert | "Could you please take that probe out of my butt?" | | 22:12–22:27 | Keanu & Colbert | "What's your favorite quote?" "Hmm, I think it's what's your favorite quote by Stephen Kobach?" "Whoa." | | 22:43 | Stephen Colbert | "Yes. Sky perverts." | | 23:01–23:25 | Stephen & Keanu | Bus memory/Sandra Bullock bit | | 23:34 | Stephen Colbert | "Well, I think it'll be hard, but I think we'll be grateful for the time we had together. And then I'll throw to a commercial break." |

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Important Segments (Timestamps)

• Intro and Keanu Anticipation: 00:30–02:20
• Late Show Vocab / Behind-the-Scenes: 02:27–17:40
• Origin Stories for Colbert’s Mottos: 12:17–18:08
• Big Questions with Even Bigger Stars: 18:37–23:47
  • Existential comedy starts: 19:30
  • Notable “deep questions”: 20:06–23:44
• Wrap-up and closing lines: 23:47–24:00

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Tone

The episode is infused with wit, warmth, and nostalgia. Colbert’s tone is smart-alecky yet affectionate, offering genuine insights behind the show’s routines and motifs, while the “Big Questions” segment leans heavily into self-aware humor, absurdity, and good natured parody of both late-night conventions and pop-philosophy.

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For New Listeners

This episode is a perfect primer for newcomers—it’s sly, insightful, and highly accessible. You'll get an insider’s guide to how The Late Show operates, meet recurring behind-the-scenes personalities, and bask in the comic chemistry between Stephen Colbert and Keanu Reeves. The “Big Questions with Even Bigger Stars” segment, though playfully absurd, is emblematic of the show’s unique blend of silliness and heart.

Transcript

[Stephen Colbert]

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Oh, could this vintage store be any cuter?

[Keanu Reeves]

Right.

[Stephen Colbert]

And the best part, they accept Discover.

[Becca (Producer)]

Except Discover in a little place like this?

[Stephen Colbert]

I don't think so, Jennifer. Oh, yeah, huh?

[Becca (Producer)]

Discover's accepted where I like to shop.

[Stephen Colbert]

Come on, baby, get with the times.

[Becca (Producer)]

Right. So we shouldn't get the parachute pants.

[Stephen Colbert]

These are making a comeback, I think. Discover is accepted at 99% of places that take credit cards nationwide. Based on the February 2025 Nielsen report.

[Becca (Producer)]

Hi, Becca. Hi, Steven.

[Stephen Colbert]

Welcome to go.

No, please.

[Keanu Reeves]

No.

[Stephen Colbert]

Please, I beg you. After you, my dear Alphonse.

[Becca (Producer)]

All right, this is the Late Show.

[Stephen Colbert]

POD show with Stephen Colbert and Becca, my producer.

[Becca (Producer)]

And we got a really fun POD show tonight. This is Big Questions with even bigger stars.

[Stephen Colbert]

Gosh, who have I done that with lately?

[Becca (Producer)]

So this was the last time we did this was a year ago.

[Stephen Colbert]

Was Brad Pitt.

[Becca (Producer)]

He has done it, but this is not the most recent one.

[Stephen Colbert]

Ryan Reynolds.

[Becca (Producer)]

Okay, let me see if I can quiz you based on the story that I want to tell about this guest. They came into the rewrite room and it was me, Caroline Lazarus, Ariel Dumas. And we were all Keanu. Yes. And can you finish my sentence?

[Stephen Colbert]

Yeah. Because you guys were all dolled up.

[Becca (Producer)]

Yeah. And we were all blushing.

[Stephen Colbert]

We were all blushing. And you were super excited that Keanu.

[Becca (Producer)]

Was there and I wasn't expect. I like him. I big fan of Bill and Ted, big fan of his work, but did.

[Stephen Colbert]

Not expect to be completely disarmed by.

[Becca (Producer)]

How charming this man was and how great he looks. He looks great.

[Stephen Colbert]

I was like, why are there so many women in this room?

[Becca (Producer)]

Right?

[Stephen Colbert]

Yeah.

[Becca (Producer)]

And then Ariel starts laughing and pointing at me and says, you're bright red. And then Steven looks at me and says, are you okay? But such a charming, nice guy.

[Stephen Colbert]

Wonderful. Really, really lovely.

[Becca (Producer)]

So this is Keanu Reeves doing Big Questions with even bigger stars. But before we get to that.

[Stephen Colbert]

Yes, ma'.

[Becca (Producer)]

Am. We're having a great summertime and we're doing Late show vocab. If you were listening last week, we're back for more, here's another one. TikTok. Oh, to set this up a little bit. Let me go back in time for a second. These are phrases, words, terms that we say, I work all the time, that are sort of specific to our jobs, our process, our community.

[Stephen Colbert]

We got a lot of slang that we use as shorthand.

[Becca (Producer)]

Yes.

[Stephen Colbert]

And so TikTok is Deanna Story.

[Becca (Producer)]

Yes.

[Stephen Colbert]

She is coordinator, supervisor. What's the actual title?

[Becca (Producer)]

I believe supervisor. But she's a supervisor.

[Stephen Colbert]

Script supervisor.

[Becca (Producer)]

She does so much.

[Stephen Colbert]

I've known her since the Dana Carvey show. She was a script assistant at the Dana Carvey show. And she was the first person whose name I saw on a post it note at the Colbert Report as having been hired. I saw it on her door and I went, oh, we're gonna be fine. Deanna Story's here.

[Becca (Producer)]

Awesome.

[Stephen Colbert]

At least we'll know how long everything is. And she has to wrangle a lot. She also, her number one thing is what is the timing.

[Becca (Producer)]

Yes.

[Stephen Colbert]

And either before or after. Usually after the monologue in rehearsal, I'll rehearse everything. I'll say, hey, TikTok. Or else I'll say, d. TikTok is generally down in the rewrite room. TikTok. How long was that? What was holding for a second ago? That is like 1930. Mean 19 minutes and 30 seconds. And we gotta bring it down to 1330. That's our target. Every monologue, first act, should be 13 minutes and 30 seconds long. Just because where the commercial breaks fall. And it really comes from the Harlan Ellison short story, which is repent. Harlequin said the TikTok man. Oh, and the TikTok Man. It's in a future where you can never be late for anything. Everything has to be exactly on time. And because producing a show on a network on a nightly basis is so much about hitting time markers, we have to get them exactly to the picosecond. That's how long the show can be. And so it's very constrained. In this story, Repentah Harlequin said the TikTok man is about a future in which if you're late for anything, that amount of time is taken out of your life.

[Becca (Producer)]

Whoa.

[Stephen Colbert]

And you have a cardio plate that gets blanked at a certain point. And the person who blanks your cardio plate and the person who takes track of everything is. Is the TikTok man, who's basically just a government bureaucrat. And then arises this character called Harlequin. And Harlequin. No one knows who Harlequin is. But Harlequin does things like goes to a place where there's a lot of foot traffic in the city and rolls out 100,000 hard gumballs so people will slip and fall, and the gumballs gum up the escalators and the moving sidewalks or whatever like that. He just slows everybody down a little bit. He makes everybody late for everything. And they can't find him. They can't find him. And eventually they found him. But basically, I think that's what it says anyway, they eventually caught him. That's what it says. And he says, TikTok man says, repent, Harlequin. And Harlequin says, get stuffed.

[Becca (Producer)]

Oh.

[Stephen Colbert]

And they blank his cardio plate and they kill him.

[Becca (Producer)]

Whoa.

[Stephen Colbert]

Have a great show.

[Becca (Producer)]

Wow.

[Stephen Colbert]

But all the time it took. All the time it took to basically try him, find him. Everything made the TikTok man late for something himself. And the TikTok man develops, like, a twitch because he realized that TikTok man wasn't able to keep up the TikTok. So, you know that sword of getting everything to time and having to get it in time by, like, 5:30, because I have to walk on a stage at 5:35, it has to be done at that time. It feels very much like a pendulum over our heads the whole time.

[Becca (Producer)]

Definitely.

[Stephen Colbert]

And so I have a mildly hostile relationship to time on the show. And so I'll go, TikTok, what do we got? And then she'll say.

[Becca (Producer)]

And it's a little bit of magic. I mean, it's a lot of expertise and a ton of experience.

[Stephen Colbert]

The Tetris. Of trying to make the acts all work together.

[Becca (Producer)]

But to know ahead of time, before recording how long it's gonna be.

[Stephen Colbert]

Because she has to guess how much laughter the jokes are gonna get.

[Becca (Producer)]

Exactly.

[Keanu Reeves]

Yeah.

[Stephen Colbert]

Because in the computer, it has the read rate, which is 150 words a minute is. The read is my. They've timed my read rate over the years. I generally speak 150 words a minute. I'm probably doing it right now.

[Becca (Producer)]

Yeah.

[Stephen Colbert]

A little slower on stage.

[Keanu Reeves]

And then.

[Stephen Colbert]

And then she has to guess, like, well, some of this is physical, so that'll take time without any words in the computer. And. Oh, he's doing like a little scene with Corey. Scenes take longer. So I have to put in the. The pad there. And. Oh, a lot of this is like. I mean, she probably has to make judges, like. I think the script's pretty good. I think it's gonna spread a lot with laughter.

[Becca (Producer)]

Yeah.

[Stephen Colbert]

And she's pretty close.

[Becca (Producer)]

She Just. Yeah, no, she's.

[Stephen Colbert]

It's really rare. Really rare. When she's off.

[Becca (Producer)]

Yeah.

[Stephen Colbert]

Okay, go ahead.

[Becca (Producer)]

Okay. The next one, the Nightly Tom.

[Stephen Colbert]

The Nightly Tom is Tom Purcell, our executive producer. He. Every night before he goes to bed, if he ever goes to bed.

[Becca (Producer)]

Yeah.

[Stephen Colbert]

Because I don't know when he goes to bed.

[Becca (Producer)]

He lives and dreams the show. He is fully committed.

[Stephen Colbert]

He's fueled strictly by this show and Ninty. More beef stew.

[Becca (Producer)]

Yes. Really good. Have you ever tried it? Oh, yeah. Good quality, of course.

[Stephen Colbert]

And every night, he puts out basically his own little newsletter. We have one in the morning from the research team headed by Brandon Mariancci, who we call Fabrizio.

[Becca (Producer)]

Yes.

[Stephen Colbert]

Because he was almost named Fabrizio as a young boy.

Great name.

Fabrizio. Fabrizio Marianacci. Wouldn't that be a great name?

[Becca (Producer)]

So good.

[Stephen Colbert]

But Brandon Mariana, he puts out one in the morning. Very comprehensive. But every night before Tom goes to bed, he puts out the Nightly Tom. And it's basically Tom saying, like, I think these are the eight to ten things that people are gonna be talking about tomorrow. From what I can tell, his uncle was Cronkite's exec producer, and his uncle was a serious news producer. And he used to say to Tom, tommy, just, where are the trucks? Just find out where the trucks are, and that's where the news is gonna be tomorrow. Meaning where do the news trucks go? Where do the cameras go? Just find out where the trucks are. That's where the news is gonna be tomorrow. So anticipate what the major story's gonna be, which at the old show wasn't as important because we kind of named the thing that was important to the character of that show, and that just became the most important news. Cause he cared about it. And that kept us out of the Daily Show's lane, which approached the news much more like we do, which is eating every berry on the bush. We talked about it as the hunter gatherer. Like, we were the hunters on the old show where we're hunting the beast every day. And then they were the gatherers eating every berry, every nut off the bush or whatever like that. But now we're much more the gatherer's part. We have to get every berry off the bush every day. And to do that efficiently, you'd kind of like to know where the trucks are tomorrow.

[Becca (Producer)]

Yeah.

[Stephen Colbert]

So basically it's Tom riding. This is where I think the trucks are tomorrow.

[Becca (Producer)]

Totally.

[Stephen Colbert]

And he never lets himself off without writing at least one joke on every subject.

[Becca (Producer)]

Yes, exactly.

[Stephen Colbert]

Which is like he Sets a real standard for everybody is that don't come in with a pitch without a joke.

[Becca (Producer)]

Yeah, yeah.

[Stephen Colbert]

Don't just be interested in a story. Anybody can be interested in a story, but come in with an interest and a joke.

[Becca (Producer)]

And he didn't call it the Nightly Tom, but some I think maybe wager did. I don't know who did, but I love it.

[Stephen Colbert]

Now it's the Nightly Tom, and I.

[Becca (Producer)]

Want to make, like, hats for, like, as if it's a newspaper, you know, Evie loves it.

[Stephen Colbert]

I go, hey. At the Nightly Tom. She goes, okay, let's hear it. So we'll be in bed.

[Becca (Producer)]

Oh, nice dramatic reading.

[Stephen Colbert]

Yeah, exactly. Tom's just putting out the Nightly Tom, and I'm in bed. So to give you an idea of the division of labor here and then there's the Nightly. There's the Nightly Tom Opus edition.

[Becca (Producer)]

Yes.

[Stephen Colbert]

Cause on Wednesday night, Opus Moreski is one of our co execs here to give Tom a break. Now, in the last two years, I think Wednesday nights, the Nightly Tom is actually the Nightly Tom Opus edition.

[Becca (Producer)]

Yeah. And very different.

[Stephen Colbert]

It's always signed. Very different style.

[Becca (Producer)]

Very different style.

[Stephen Colbert]

Always jokes. And he always signs it with it. Your. Your. Your uncommunicative Uncle Opus.

[Becca (Producer)]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Stephen Colbert]

Or like your.

[Keanu Reeves]

Your.

[Stephen Colbert]

Your troubled nephew Opus. He always signs it some. Some description of a family member.

[Becca (Producer)]

Yeah. Really nice. So that's an Isly Tom. And then let's go with. Okay. Fiber, anyone? This is something you say every day.

[Stephen Colbert]

I say, fiber.

[Becca (Producer)]

You're offering something to the room when you say, fiber, anybody?

[Stephen Colbert]

Hold on. I say that every day.

[Becca (Producer)]

And then Matt Lapin will usually respond. I won't let you squench alone.

[Stephen Colbert]

Exactly. Squench alone. Is that back there was, oh, three years ago now or something like that. I developed because of the amount of caffeine I consume to do the show. I. So much coffee every day and all day and all through the show, fresh cups of coffee. Between every act of the show, I developed vertigo.

[Becca (Producer)]

Oh, yeah.

[Stephen Colbert]

And basically my doctor said, like, this is all like, you're doing this to yourself. You have to stop. So I had to seriously peel back. Now I have a cup of coffee in the morning, and the rest of it is decaf for the rest of the day and. Fascinating story, Steve. But I needed something before the show, just a little something before the show that wasn't too unhealthy. So my assistant, Amy Cole, she started giving me Mott's gogo squeezes, which are just a little applesauce, unflavored unsweetened. Just regular old. Just applesauce with the little sucky little nipple on top. And I always have two. Matt Lapin, God bless him, he always was like, I'm in. So I always have two. And I don't even ask anymore. I just throw it at him, and then in midair I go, matt. And then he looks up and he catches it.

Yeah.

[Becca (Producer)]

Yeah.

[Stephen Colbert]

But it' in air. He knows it's coming by the time I say.

[Becca (Producer)]

Yeah.

[Stephen Colbert]

By the time I say his name.

[Becca (Producer)]

Yeah.

[Stephen Colbert]

And. And then that's. And it's a great source of fiber. That's right.

[Becca (Producer)]

Yeah.

[Stephen Colbert]

Fiber, anybody?

[Becca (Producer)]

It's a nice. Yeah, it's a fun little snack. Fun little picnic snack, after school snack.

[Stephen Colbert]

Yep. Feels good for you. Probably not.

[Becca (Producer)]

Yeah. I love. I love the go, go squeeze time. I love that you're go, go squeezing on the regular. That's something.

[Stephen Colbert]

Maybe it's a pretty wild life, you know, hosting a late night show, you know, back in the day, maybe, you know, getting liquored up.

[Becca (Producer)]

Yeah, yeah.

[Stephen Colbert]

Little coke.

[Becca (Producer)]

Yeah. No, we're squeezing.

[Stephen Colbert]

Not in the 2000 and twenties. Yeah, it's applesauce.

[Becca (Producer)]

Okay, this is my last question, and it's something I've been wanting to ask you for a long time. This is a slogan you put on mugs at Christmas. There's a mirror on the 12th floor that says it. Get back to work. Where did that motto come from? What's the story there?

[Stephen Colbert]

Well, get back to work is a mildly hostile way that I sign everything. Yeah, because if you work in like. Well, there's 200 people who work here. And I remember on the old show, which wasn't as many people, it was like 90 people there, but I literally ran everywhere in the building because I was also a control freak. And I put my finger in every pie. And so I never had a moment to breathe. And then people would come in and go, like, there's a birthday card. Let's say for Becca, there's a birthday card for Becca. There's gonna be cupcakes later. I'm like, give it to me. And I couldn't not sign it. So the fact that there was someone whose job was not to take birthday cards, they had some other job that they were supposed to be doing. But for this day, a lot of their day was gonna be taking one birthday card around. And keep in mind, now there are 200 days a year, or maybe like double up birthdays, there's high three digits, significant three digits, days of the year that somebody's job is not being done because they're walking around with a card.

[Becca (Producer)]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Stephen Colbert]

And so I just signed in the card, get back to work, Stephen. That's it. Get back to work. Period, Steven.

[Becca (Producer)]

Yeah.

[Stephen Colbert]

And that's what I have signed everything other than someone's going away card.

[Becca (Producer)]

Yeah, yeah, that makes sense.

[Stephen Colbert]

I think I go, like, you know, go work somewhere else, something like that. But I would just say, get back to work, Stephen. I've signed everything that. And people know that that's my form of affection. I also have signed pretty much every photo or book or anything like that for the last 20 years. I've signed it. Either stay strong or be brave or stay strong, Be brave or stay brave or be strong. The combination of those four words. And that is because somebody just asked me this the other day, why do I sign everything that way? That is because when I was working on the Dana Carvey show back in 1990, Meow, Meow. When was that? Is that 96, maybe? 96? Yeah, it was in the winter of 96 and the spring of 96. And I tell you the year, because Terence Trent Darby was still a big deal back then. You don't know who is Ting. Wail kiss and tell. I would play it for you, but he was a very gifted singer, dancer, musician. And Dana Carvey and I were having a drink at the Rigo royale on, like, 53rd street or whatever it is in midtown Manhattan. It was shortly after the first episode of the Dana Carvey show had come out, and it was clear to him that we were canceled. It would only be one episode. We would go on to make eight more episodes, only seven of which would ever be broadcast. And we're just sitting there in the lobby, the Riga Royale, drinking Amstel lights, because again, wild partying lifestyle. We're having one Amstel Light a piece, and in comes Terence Trent Darby. And there's big news, big news. How disastrously the Dana Carvey show had started. I don't mean comedically disastrously. It was that the opening scene was Dana Carvey as Bill Clinton breastfeeding puppies and kittens. And he had, like, teats on his chest, like Diana of Ephesus, almost like an animal, teats down his chest. And when Bill Clinton opens his shirt going, I'll be mother and father to the world. And they were functional, like people from Sesame Workshop made them.

[Becca (Producer)]

Oh, wow.

[Stephen Colbert]

And they were working. There were guys on the floor behind him with little bulbs squeezing actual milk out of his breast. This is 9 o' clock or 8:30 or something on ABC.

[Becca (Producer)]

Oh, wow. Yeah.

[Stephen Colbert]

And I think we started with 25 million people watching. I think 10 million people left in the first 30 seconds and they never came back. So we ended the season with 17 million people. Of course, now we'd be the number one show on television with those kind of numbers, but we were clearly canceled. So we're sitting in the lobby drinking our Amstel lights, and Dana's given me advice. He was a very sweet guy. Give me young, young comedian. Give me life advice. And in comes Tran Strand Darby with two very lovely ladies, one on each arm, cool and ankle length leather coat like Neo, but this is before the Matrix. Neo is trying to look like trans Darby. And he comes over and he goes, hey, man, I like your work. Looking at Dana.

[Becca (Producer)]

Yeah.

[Stephen Colbert]

And Danny goes, oh, thanks very much. Thanks very much. And he looks at me and looks at Dana. And as he looks at each of us, he goes, stay strong. Be brave. And he goes, oh, thanks. And I nodded, okay, thanks very much. And he walked away. And Danny goes, who was that? I said that was Terence Trent Darby. He goes, oh, so that's Terence Trent Darby. So I've just always loved the fact that with no solicitation from us, we got advice from Terence Trent Darby that even if the jokes didn't work out, like the audience is really mad at you, or people might just go, stay strong, be brave. And so that is. That has been my comedic advice to everyone. I love that because I received it. It was very funny to me to hear it from Taryn Strand Darby and especially for Dana to receive it so graciously and have no idea who this very attractive tall thin man was in.

[Becca (Producer)]

A super long jacket, a super long.

[Stephen Colbert]

Leather jacket with two beautiful babes hanging off.

[Becca (Producer)]

Yeah. Awesome.

[Stephen Colbert]

We just came over with just nothing but swag, man. The most swagger in the world, and just looked at us like, I'm gonna tell you what you need to hear.

[Becca (Producer)]

Yeah.

[Stephen Colbert]

And it kind of did like. We kind of did, like. And then we went on and did another seven shows, which were. We were. We did our best to stay strong and be brave. I don't know if the bravery was necessary, but we definitely needed to stay strong given the amount of hostility we were getting from abc.

[Becca (Producer)]

Yeah. Wow. Beautiful adv to live by.

[Stephen Colbert]

Yeah, sure. Exactly.

[Becca (Producer)]

Well, the jacket reference makes sense because we got Keanu Reeves on the show tonight. That's who we're. That's who we're introing.

[Stephen Colbert]

There it is. Okay, Come on. Oh, and the lights just went off.

[Becca (Producer)]

All Right. That's our time to go. That's our turn to go.

[Stephen Colbert]

I think someone in this building. Are we canceled again?

[Becca (Producer)]

Oh, no. Oh, gosh. All right, well, that's it.

[Keanu Reeves]

Thanks, Becca.

[Becca (Producer)]

Thanks so much, Stephen. All right, we're.

[Stephen Colbert]

See you guys in September.

[Keanu Reeves]

Folks.

[Stephen Colbert]

You know, if you watch, I don't want to brag, but I consider myself fairly deep. I like to ask the awe inspiring questions, like, are we alone in the universe? Why does evil exist? And whatever happened to my segment Big Questions with Even Bigger Stars? We haven't done this segment in years because it requires a star both big enough and profound enough to meaningfully consider the mysteries of human existence. Plus, it is a pain in the ass to build that fake hill every time. Well, I'm excited to say we once again tracked down a worthy companion for my journey through the philosophical realm. This is Big Questions with Even Bigger Stars. Wow.

[Keanu Reeves]

I love staring up at the night sky. Really makes me feel like the only person in the universe.

I'm sorry, should I leave Keanu Reeves? No. Wow.

Is this where you.

[Stephen Colbert]

You go also to be deep?

[Keanu Reeves]

Oh, everywhere I go, I'm deep. It's true.

Hey, hey, Keanu.

Yes, Stephen? Where.

Where do we go when we die?

I don't know, but I hope they have mozzarella sticks. Hey, Steven.

Yeah, Keanu?

Do you think youth is wasted on the young?

I don't remember because I spent so much of my youth wasted. Hey, Kr.

Yeah, Sc.

Do you ever think maybe life is just a simulation?

What do you mean?

Like, we're not really here. We're actually just experiencing some sort of virtual computer world. And the real world is actually that, you know, out there, you know, like in that sci fi movie.

Oh, right. Tron.

That was a good one.

Hey, Steve.

Yucky.

If you knew you were going to die tomorrow, what would you do today?

I'd clear my browser history.

[Stephen Colbert]

Or what did you do to die today?

[Keanu Reeves]

Special K, Vitamin C.

What's on your bucket list?

Oh, it's so long. I mean, let's see. A red bucket, a blue bucket, a KFC bucket. Stevie G.B.

Keeney. Reevy.

If extraterrestrial life is real, what's the first question you'd ask them?

[Stephen Colbert]

Oh, that's good.

[Keanu Reeves]

Probably. Could you please take that probe out of my butt?

Shooting star. Shooting star.

Hey, K Cup.

Yeah. Espresso.

What's your favorite quote?

Hmm, I think it's what's your favorite quote by Stephen Kobach?

[Stephen Colbert]

Whoa.

[Keanu Reeves]

Wait, that's one of my quotes.

[Stephen Colbert]

Whoa.

[Keanu Reeves]

Hey, S Dog.

Yeah, K Catch.

Do you ever think there might be something hiding behind the clouds?

Yes. Sky perverts. Hey, Keebler.

[Becca (Producer)]

Elf.

[Keanu Reeves]

Yeah, Steve. Top stuffing.

How do you know that memories are real?

Oh, because you can close your eyes and visualize being there. For example, one time in the 90s, I was on this out of control bus with Sandra Bullock.

Keanu, I don't think that's real.

What are you talking about? Of course it's real. Sandra Bullock is real.

I apologize.

Thank you. Hey, Stephen.

Yeah, Keanu?

What do you think happens after all this?

[Stephen Colbert]

Wow.

[Keanu Reeves]

Well, I think it'll be hard, but I think we'll be grateful for the time we had together. And then I'll throw to a commercial break.

[Stephen Colbert]

Thank you for listening to the Late Show POD show with Stephen Colbert. Just one more thing. If you want to see more of me, come to The Late Show YouTube channel for more clips and exclusives.

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[Stephen Colbert]

Now streaming. It's the new limited series. Little Disasters. Happy Families.

[Keanu Reeves]

Perfect Marriage.

[Stephen Colbert]

What happened?

[Becca (Producer)]

Social services have been called in. I've known you for 10 years. How could you make that call?

[Keanu Reeves]

These rich families. Concealing things seems to come naturally.

[Stephen Colbert]

Starring Diane Kruger. You can't take our children and Joe Joyner.

[Becca (Producer)]

Parents can do some terrible things in moments of frustration.

[Stephen Colbert]

Little Disasters. All episodes now streaming on Paramount. Plus.