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Stephen Colbert
Priceline. Welcome, welcome, welcome my friends and neighbors, Mr. And Mrs. America to the Late show. I'm your host, Stephen Colbert. Folks. Every so often, folks, I'm firm but I'm fair. And every so often I just gotta take a look at myself in the mirror. Just take myself to task for being too focused on all the bad stuff that Donald Trump does. Because when I do that, sometimes I miss out on all the important things in life, like all their terrible stuff they're doing in Congress right now. Trump's little Republ buddies are on Capitol Hill trying to come, you know, trying to figure out something else. But they're a bill. But they're coming close to fisticuffs over his heartless tax cut and boondoggle, which he's been calling his big beautiful bill. It really sounds less like legislation and more like the husky guy at a male strip club. Okay, ladies, coming up on the main stage is big beautiful Bill. You know him, you love him. The dad, bad Adonis. He's going to eat a whole pot pie with his bare hands.
Lisa
Grab onto those handles, ladies, before he.
Stephen Colbert
Runs off to Home Depot. The, uh, buh buh bill has some real bad goodies in not only adds over 3 trillion in debt, it cuts. It cuts so much Medicaid that 7.6 million Americans would lose their health insurance. Speaker Johnson is ramming it through with a self imposed deadline of Memorial Day. The Republican majority is so thin at this point that Speaker Johnson can afford to lose only three votes to pass the big, beautiful bill and keep his lips on Trump's big, beautiful Bdalka Don. The thing is, the GOP can't agree on what should be in it. For example, one GOP rep insisted the bill should include steep cuts to Medicaid, but his colleague pledged to tank any bill that reduced Medicaid. Those two guys, Chip Roy of Texas.
Lisa
And Andrew Gabarino of New York.
Stephen Colbert
Those are two of the most home state name guys I have ever heard. You'll never get them to agree, let alone caucus with Louisiana's rag on our show.
Lisa
How on middle name. Hi, you, Allah.
Stephen Colbert
Today, Trump went to Capitol Hill and met with Republicans behind closed doors to tongue lash them into supporting his bill. He took a moment to praise Speaker Johnson and the chair of the House GOP caucus.
Lisa
We have a very, very united party.
James Comey
This man has done a fantastic job.
Stephen Colbert
And so have you, Lisa.
Lisa
Yes, it's true. Mike Johnson is amazing. And so are you. L. Everyone look at what a great job I did recognizing this woman. You're that woman, Lisa. I even remembered her name. Whatever it was, it's Lisa.
Stephen Colbert
Now, as a result of Trump's famous art of the dealing, the two sides are more dug in than ever. But you know, there's always going to be a lot of digging when you're dealing with a hole. We're learning more. Hey, keep talking for me. And we're learning more about the plane Qatar is offering to be Air Force One. You know, the palace in the sky thing? All along, Donald Trump has been saying it's a free gift that Qatar offered him out of nowhere. But now sources are telling CNN the Trump administration first approached Qatar about acquiring a plane. So. So really less of a gift and more of a gift registry.
Lisa
Qatar, I'm putting you down for a giant gold plane. Kuwait.
Stephen Colbert
Kuwait.
Lisa
I'm eyeing the the Breville Belgian waffle maker for you. Saudi Arabia, you get me the KitchenAid stand mixer with dough hook accessory, please. And El Salvador. I'll take a Vitamix and a supermax prison.
Stephen Colbert
Apparently, Donald Trump is unhappy with our current Air Force One, which is at least 35 years old, traditionally an age when Trump gets a new plane or a new wife. So the Air Force. The Air Force, with the help of Boeing, started shopping around. And while plane browsing, Trump's eye was caught by a brochure for the Qatari aircraft. Promising soft fabrics of the highest quality in the bedroom, luxurious leather and exquisite wood veneers, and a lavishly designed bathroom that is almost a piece of art.
Lisa
Oh, every bathroom I visit is like a work of art. Starts off as the Mona Lisa, but pretty soon it's Guernica. The town is screaming, the horses are terrified. And by the time I'm done, it's a Jackson Pollock in there.
Stephen Colbert
But art, a piece of art, you can fix that, right? You got that? I got a little something for him. There you go.
Lisa
But you know what?
Stephen Colbert
You know, I better be careful talking about this at all, because even talking about Trump's Qatari jit can get you into trouble these days. Just take ABC News. Last year, you may remember, Trump sued them for defamation after Trump claimed that George Stephanopoulos mischaracterized his sexual abuse of E. Jean Carroll. Now, to appease the adjudicated sexual abuser, ABC's parent company Disney settled with Trump by giving $15 million to Trump's presidential library. And yeah, and to punish Stephanopoulos, Disney replaced him on this Week with Live Action. Stitch. They're about the same height now. Emboldened, emboldened, emboldened by their folding. This weekend, Trump posted why doesn't Chairman.
Lisa
Bob Iger do something about ABC Fake News? Everyone, including their lawyers, has been told that ABC must not say that Qatar is giving me a free Boeing 747 airplane because they are not. They are donating the plane to the United States Air Force Defense Department. And not to me, adding, especially since I just won $16 million based on the fake and defamatory reporting of little George Sloppadopoulos. Now I see they're at it again, and I again give these sleazebags fair warning.
Stephen Colbert
You see, Disney, this is what happens when you capitulate to an autocrat. He's just going to keep coming back for more. Even kids know that. Haven't you read if you give a mouse 16 million cookies. Thanks to this precedent, thanks to this terrible precedent, Trump thinks he can extort the media wherever and whenever they do something he doesn't like. And that directly affects my beloved parent conglomerate. You know their slogan, Paramount. I don't know, maybe spongebob could fight a Transformer on Star Trek. Now, a quick reminder, quick reminder, ladies and gentlemen. During the 2024 campaign, Trump accused 60 Minutes of misleadingly editing an interview with Kamala Harris and filed a 20 billion dollar lawsuit against CBS and 60 Minutes. Legal experts say this is a nuisance lawsuit widely seen as lacking legal merit. Coincidentally, that is also embossed on Rudy Giuliani's business cards. Fun fact. Fun fact. Fun fact. He's still alive, isn't that fun. Now, at first, at first, CBS said they'd fight this frivolous lawsuit, but here's the rub. Paramount is in the process of being sold right now and they need the Trump administration's FCC to approve transferring the CBS broadcast license to the new owners, which for vague reasons, they just haven't done yet. And last night, Jake Tapper tweeted, a source close to negotiations says Paramount, CBS could settle with the President Trump for as much as 30 to 50 million dollars. I'm sorry, could I have a drink of water there? 30 to 50 million dollars. Holy bazingas now. Because handing over a pile of cash to a president over a frivolous lawsuit to get your broadcast license approved sounds so shady. Senators Ron Wyden, Elizabeth Warren and Bernie Sanders sent a letter to Paramount HQ raising concerns that this possible settlement risks violating bribery laws. Ladies and gentlemen, I am a proud company man. I love who I work for and I will stand up against these scurrilous accusations that Paramount is engaged in corporate and political malfeasance for the low price of $50 million. Paramount.
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Stephen Colbert
Come on, let's just talk turkey here. Daddy just wants to get his beak wet. You cut the check and zip. I'm joking, obviously. Satire, etc. I would never take a bribe from CBS if Donald Trump outbids them. Because, Mr. President, I am willing to testify on your side in this lawsuit for $50,000,001. And remember, remember, sir, this is not. Mm mm. This is not a gift to me. It is a gift to the Stephen Colbert Presidential Library and Pizza Hut. We got a great show for you tonight coming up. James Comey.
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Stephen Colbert
Thanks, ladies and gentlemen, folks, I'm happy to say my first guest is a best selling author and former director of the FBI. Please welcome back to the Late Show, James Comey. Welcome back.
James Comey
Great to be back.
Stephen Colbert
It's been a bit. It has been a bit. The world has changed a bit since the last time you and I spoke. Last time I was here for your book. Talking about your own experience with. Your own experience in the FBI and in law enforcement, the Justice Department, leading up to you being fired president and eventually being played by Jeff Daniels and the book of the same name. You got a new book? Okay, we'll get to this in just a second. But the new book, it's a novel, crime novel. It's called FDR Drive. There it is right there. You stirred up a little controversy recently. I was gonna say you landed in some hot water, but it's not hot water, it's just water. Because I don't know if you did this on purpose just to get attention here, but you, you.
Lisa
Is this Instagram?
James Comey
Instagram, yes.
Stephen Colbert
You grammed this. You were walking down the beach. What happened? You were walking down the beach and you saw this on the beach?
James Comey
Yeah, my wife and I, Patrice, were walking on the beach and saw those numbers in shells on the beach.
Stephen Colbert
You didn't do this. Somebody else did this?
James Comey
Yeah, somebody else did it. We were on a walk preparing for this week, the roll out of my book. She looked at it and said, why'd someone put their address in the sand?
Stephen Colbert
All right.
James Comey
We stood at it trying to figure. Looked at it, trying to figure out what it was. And she'd long been a server in restaurants. And she said, you know what I think it is?
Stephen Colbert
Yeah.
James Comey
I think it's a reference to restaurants. When you would 86 something in a restaurant, right.
Stephen Colbert
It's off the menu.
James Comey
Yeah. I said, no. I remember as a kid you'd say 86 to get out of a place. This place stinks. Let's 86 it.
Stephen Colbert
I was a bartender. You would 86 a customer if they were getting drunk. Like, let's 86 them. Like give them a low proof alcohol or something like that. Yeah.
James Comey
And so I said, I think it's a clever political message. And she said, you should take a picture of it. I said, sure. And then she said, you should Instagram that. And boom.
Stephen Colbert
Well, the president does not think it was clever. He said, quote, a child knows what that meant. That meant assassination. They said, the Secret Service is Going to call you. Have you been called by federal authorities?
James Comey
Yeah. It doesn't mean that to this child of God. But I saw that he said that the Secret Service called me that night. Yeah, yeah. I talked to a duty agent. Then they asked me if I'd come and be interviewed. I said, of course. So I went and met with them and said, told them, like this interview?
Stephen Colbert
Yeah, yeah.
James Comey
And I hope and expect that's the end of it.
Stephen Colbert
Like this interview. Is this like talking to a Secret Service agent? I gotta back off on my guests if I feel that federal to them. What is, what did they say? Did they explain why 8647 was so bad? It's better than 69 47. Did they, what did they say? Did they say, we get it, go home?
James Comey
All they did was act like pros and they are pros. Just said, what did you intend? What did you understand? Why did you do this? And I gave them the exact same explanation, which is the truth and I would expect it to go away.
Stephen Colbert
Okay, well, congratulations on the attention for your book. There you go. That's a hell of a viral campaign. Now, one of your successors, one of your successors, FBI Director Christopher Wray, resigned right before Trump's inauguration. Trump said he's like he's gonna be out of there whatever. But of course they have. How long is the term? Seven years?
James Comey
Ten years.
Stephen Colbert
Ten years. Ok, so he still had time left, a considerable time left on his term. Cuz it's supposed to like overlap administration. So the FBI is not just a factotum of a particular administration, right? Yes, okay.
James Comey
Exactly.
Stephen Colbert
Okay. Three years before he served his full ten year term? I don't know. Would you have done that? Would you think that was a good idea? I mean, have you talked to Chris Wray about this?
James Comey
I don't think it's a good idea. I wish he hadn't done it. I did not speak to him about it for the reasons you said. I think it's a mistake to signal that this is just like another presidential appointment. Since Hoover, the American people through Congress have wanted this to be outside of politics. And so the 10 year term is to span any president's tenure.
Stephen Colbert
Okay. We hear a lot of stories about what's going on in the FBI. A lot more at the beginning of this particular term. Have you spoken to any of your former colleagues? Like what's going on inside the building? How are they feeling?
James Comey
I talk to a lot of them, they come up to me on the street or some of them I've known for a long time. Will reach out. They're struggling. They're worried about the reality and the reputation of the FBI right now. And they're hunkering down most of all.
Stephen Colbert
Have there been a lot of firings? Like have people been, have they hollowed out that building like they have other buildings?
James Comey
No, at the senior levels, they have forced out the senior most appointees who are career people that Christopher Wray had in place. And they forced out the head of the New York office here in Manhattan, frankly, for being too much of a stand up person. But the rank and file is in place and just trying to do their work.
Stephen Colbert
Last week NBC News reported that FBI field offices around the country have been ordered to assign more agents to immigration enforcement. So they're still there, but they're working for the FBI. But they're basically doing ICE's job. Don't we already have agencies to do this sort of thing? And do you think that's the proper use of the FBI?
James Comey
Yeah, I don't get that. The FBI spends a lot of time trying to assign resources against priorities. And the top of the stack is counterterrorism, counterintelligence and cyber. And so surely those haven't gone away and now we can move people to immigration and I would expect they'd go to Congress. I could not move anything more than $100,000 in resources without Congress permission. And so I don't know where the Congress is on that.
Stephen Colbert
So presumably if those people are being moved to border enforcement, then those other priorities that you stated are getting short shrift.
James Comey
Yeah, logically that would be the case.
Stephen Colbert
So this would be a good time to do crime. You're saying you're advising everyone out there who are thinking of criming that crime while the iron is cold.
James Comey
Kids. There is no good time to do crime.
Stephen Colbert
Did you just say kids, sir? This is cbs. No kids are watching this right now. We have to take a quick break. More with James Comey after this.
James Comey
Race the rudders. Race the sails.
Stephen Colbert
Race the sails. Captain, an unidentified ship is approaching. Over. Roger, Wait.
James Comey
Is that an enterprise sales solution?
Stephen Colbert
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Lisa
Hey everybody.
Stephen Colbert
We are back with the author of the new novel FDR Drive, former Director of the FBI James Comey. Okay, last time you were on the show you said Participants in the January 6 riot and insurrection should be brought to justice and punished severely. Since then, the President took a slightly different tack. He pardoned all of them without differentiating what their crimes had been. Don't listen to them. Make your own decision. Was that a good decision or a bad decision by the President of the United States?
James Comey
It was an obscenity that will stain this country forever.
Stephen Colbert
How do you so what is that stain? It's not just these people got away with it, but what does it say to any future political violence that is done on behalf of an administration that doesn't want to leave?
James Comey
Yeah, it sends terrible messages in that direction. Right. It totally undercuts the deterrent effect of the prosecutions. It sends a terrible message to people who might investigate crimes like that. Right. You are not going to get ahead in the FBI by working stuff like that given what you saw happen with the pardons. And so it's awful on multiple dimensions.
Stephen Colbert
It also makes it sort of like a sort of defacto militia that is grateful and beholden to the President of the United States.
James Comey
Absolutely. Another awful consequence of this. That's why I use the term obscenity.
Stephen Colbert
Kash Patel, who is the present director of the FBI and none of his family are here, evidently Kash Patel says he wants to see if I got this right. He wants to live part time in Vegas and work remotely far away from FBI headquarters in Washington. In your experience, just from your experience, does director of the FBI feel like a part time job? Would it benefit from remote work when you're close to the slots, the loosest slots in town and the leggy showgirls?
James Comey
It's not that kind of job. But in his case, I'm actually cool with that. Spend all the time, all the time.
Stephen Colbert
Just while I got. While I gotcha. And I'm not trying to set yourself up for a self compliment here. What do you think that the director of the FBI should be like? What are the qualities that make a good FBI director?
James Comey
It has to be someone who is committed to protecting the reality and the perception that justice is just that that's an institution that stands outside of anything that smacks of fear or favor. That has to be your passion. Integrity is everything in that organization.
Stephen Colbert
FBI hasn't, you know. Do you think the FBI will recover from this moment?
James Comey
I do.
Stephen Colbert
Okay. They've had, you know, they've had problems in the past. They have stains on the record. They always haven't been the heroes of their own story. I mean, they spied on mlk.
James Comey
Yep.
Stephen Colbert
They spied on Hemingway. You know, what changed the FBI into something that you think is not the equivalent of Hoover's semi secret police? Why did that change? Originally, because Hoover was not necessarily the hero of the FBI story.
James Comey
Right. Because all of that was exposed around the time of Watergate and hard lessons were learned. And among the changes that were made is directors terms were set at 10 years. Oversight of all different kinds was pressed on the agency to offer transparency and deterrence. We hired different kinds of people. Lots of things were done for 50 years to make the FBI different, which is why today is so worrisome.
Stephen Colbert
Let's get to the book here. As I said before, it's a crime novel. FDR Drive. It's your third book in a series of legal thrillers. What's it about? Is it a whodunit?
James Comey
No, it's a story about. It's a story that I wrote last year, not knowing what America would be like in May of this year, about a right wing podcaster who's inspiring his followers to engage in acts of violence against disaffected groups and their representatives. And it's about my protagonist, Nora Carlton, trying to figure out, so when does speech become crime? And how do I stop innocent people from being murdered and beaten? Because this guy's exhorting people to go after these kind of folks. And so it's a. You know who the bad guy is? And the question is, can we get the bad guy and stop him? And then there's other twists I don't want to give away, but it's a legal thriller and a sort of police procedural.
Stephen Colbert
I understand your wife, Patrice helps you write these.
James Comey
Yes. We start. We're old people, so we watch birds. Now we start watching birds.
Stephen Colbert
Literal birds. Not a show called Birds. You just watch birds.
James Comey
Oh, I sit and watch birds. Oh, that looks like a tufted titmouse. Oh, yes, I think it is.
Stephen Colbert
Sure.
James Comey
And we drink coffee, and then we talk about what the next book might be. And she's my idea person, and then we agree on an idea. I go off and write, and she follows it. On a Google Doc and gives me loving but frankly, brutal feedback in those little bubbles on the, on the Google Doc as I write the whole thing.
Stephen Colbert
Right. Loving but brutal feedback. Just on the book or basically everything. All right, there you go. Well, former director, thank you so much for being here. His book FDR Drive is available now. The man is James Comey. Thank you for listening to the Late Show Pod show with Stephen Colbert. Just one more thing. If you want to see more of me, come to The Late Show YouTube channel for more clips and exclusives. 9116-emergency. Yes, somebody killed two girls.
James Comey
My grandbaby and my friend.
Stephen Colbert
They're dead.
James Comey
A Paramount plus original. She wants to find more young women for him to kill. The untold stories of the real cases. Each one he gets away with. He's emboldened. The FBI can't shake.
Stephen Colbert
It's very satisfying to be able to.
Kaley Cuoco
Look at a bad guy and go.
Stephen Colbert
We never forgot you.
James Comey
An all new season of FBI True. Streaming now on Paramount plus, your mission, should you choose to accept this Friday. Everything you've done has come to this. Tom Cruise. I need you to trust me one last time. Mission Impossible the Final Reckoning. Only in theaters Friday. Rated PG13.
Podcast Title: The Late Show Pod Show with Stephen Colbert
Episode: James Comey | Tough Bill To Swallow
Release Date: May 21, 2025
In this compelling episode of The Late Show Pod Show with Stephen Colbert, host Stephen Colbert engages in a thought-provoking conversation with former FBI Director James Comey. The discussion delves into the intricacies of current political dynamics, legislative battles, the state of the FBI under new leadership, and Comey's latest literary venture.
The episode begins with Stephen Colbert addressing the contentious legislative climate surrounding Donald Trump's proposed "big beautiful bill." Colbert humorously critiques Trump’s influence over Republican lawmakers, highlighting the internal discord within the GOP. He remarks:
“The Republican majority is so thin at this point that Speaker Johnson can afford to lose only three votes to pass the big, beautiful bill and keep his lips on Trump's big, beautiful Bill” ([02:11]).
Colbert discusses the lack of consensus among GOP members, exemplifying the divide with representatives like Chip Roy of Texas advocating for steep Medicaid cuts, while Andrew Gabarino of New York opposes such measures. This discord underscores the challenges in advancing Trump’s legislative agenda.
Transitioning to Trump's recent interactions with Capitol Hill, Colbert satirizes the former president's negotiation tactics, particularly his pursuit of a new Air Force One plane from Qatar. He humorously critiques the perceived quid pro quo, stating:
“Trump thinks he can extort the media wherever and whenever they do something he doesn't like” ([07:05]).
Colbert further mocks the ongoing lawsuit between Trump and CBS, highlighting the precarious position of Paramount in needing potential settlement money to secure broadcast licenses. He emphasizes the absurdity of the situation with his trademark humor:
“Because handing over a pile of cash to a president over a frivolous lawsuit to get your broadcast license approved sounds so shady” ([09:00]).
At [12:29], Colbert warmly welcomes James Comey back to the show, acknowledging their previous discussions surrounding Comey's experiences with the FBI and his portrayal in popular media. He introduces Comey's new venture, a crime novel titled FDR Drive, setting the stage for an in-depth conversation.
Comey describes FDR Drive as a legal thriller that he authored with his wife, Patrice. The novel explores the thin line between free speech and incitement to violence, focusing on a protagonist combating a right-wing podcaster who encourages his followers to commit violent acts. Comey elaborates:
“It's about my protagonist, Nora Carlton, trying to figure out, so when does speech become crime?” ([23:35]).
This narrative reflects ongoing societal tensions and the challenges faced by law enforcement in addressing extremist rhetoric.
The dialogue shifts to the contemporary issues plaguing the FBI under Director Kash Patel. Comey expresses deep concern over recent administrative decisions, notably the pardoning of January 6 participants by Trump. He vehemently criticizes this move:
“It was an obscenity that will stain this country forever” ([20:29]).
Comey discusses the implications of these pardons, emphasizing the erosion of accountability and the detrimental impact on the FBI's integrity. He warns that such actions undermine the deterrent effect of prosecutions and create a culture where political favors take precedence over justice.
Addressing the operational shifts within the FBI, Comey highlights the redirection of resources towards immigration enforcement, which traditionally falls under agencies like ICE. He notes:
“The top of the stack is counterterrorism, counterintelligence and cyber. And so surely those haven't gone away and now we can move people to immigration” ([17:38]).
This reallocation, according to Comey, compromises the FBI’s ability to prioritize its core missions, potentially weakening national security efforts.
Colbert probes Comey about the resignation of FBI Director Christopher Wray before completing his term. Comey reflects on the significance of Wray stepping down early, stressing the importance of political independence for the FBI:
“The 10-year term is to span any president's tenure” ([16:08]).
He laments the departure, suggesting it signals a troubling trend of politicizing the FBI. Despite the setbacks, Comey remains hopeful about the agency's resilience:
“I do [believe the FBI will recover]” ([22:41]).
He draws parallels to historical reforms post-Watergate, emphasizing the necessity for integrity and nonpartisanship within the bureau.
As the episode wraps up, Colbert and Comey touch upon the enduring challenges facing federal law enforcement and the broader implications for democracy. Colbert humorously underscores the seriousness of the discussion by interjecting:
“I'm advising everyone out there who are thinking of criming that crime while the iron is cold” ([18:23]).
Comey reinforces the critical nature of upholding justice and the rule of law, cautioning against political interference. The conversation concludes with a nod to Comey's literary work, inviting listeners to explore FDR Drive for a nuanced take on contemporary legal and ethical dilemmas.
Legislative Divisions: Trump's "big beautiful bill" reveals deep fractures within the GOP, complicating its passage and reflecting broader political instability.
Political Leverage and Media Relations: Trump's attempts to influence media outlets through lawsuits raise concerns about media independence and corporate ethics.
FBI's Integrity Under Threat: James Comey highlights alarming trends within the FBI, including politicized leadership and misallocation of resources, which jeopardize national security and institutional trust.
Literary Endeavors Reflecting Reality: Comey's novel, FDR Drive, serves as a fictional exploration of real-world issues, blurring the lines between fiction and current societal challenges.
Stephen Colbert: “The Republican majority is so thin at this point that Speaker Johnson can afford to lose only three votes to pass the big, beautiful bill and keep his lips on Trump's big, beautiful Bill.” ([02:11])
James Comey: “It was an obscenity that will stain this country forever.” ([20:29])
James Comey: “The 10-year term is to span any president's tenure.” ([16:08])
James Comey: “Kids. There is no good time to do crime.” ([18:27])
This episode of The Late Show Pod Show with Stephen Colbert offers a captivating blend of humor and serious discourse, providing listeners with insightful perspectives on the intersection of politics, justice, and media in contemporary America. Through the candid dialogue with James Comey, the podcast sheds light on crucial issues facing federal institutions and the broader societal implications of political maneuvering.