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Stephen Colbert
Hey, everybody. Stephen Colbert here about to read the copy for our sponsor. This is from our friends at Wonderful Pistachios. And I was the wonderful pistachio spokesman for years. Yeah, I have a real close association with nut meat. Okay. You know what they say when they reach for a snack? Don't hold back. And that's exactly the approach with Wonderful Pistachios. The don't hold back snack. These little wonders are so tasty, it feels like getting away with something. But surprise. Each serving has 6 grams of protein and 0 grams of regret. That's right. No guilt. Just glory, glory in our nuts. Whether it's a satisfying crack of in shell pistachios, and that's capitalized in shell, or the smooth, instant gratification of no shells. No judgment. That's just it. Just eat. No judgment. I take issue with one thing. It's instant gratification. It's super tasty smooth.
Cory
It's a hard nut smooth.
Stephen Colbert
Exactly. I mean, even out of the shell, it's still a nut.
Cory
We can't disparage the nuts.
Stephen Colbert
You. I'm not disparaging the nut. I'm describing the nut.
Jamie Lee Curtis
Don't disparage any flavors.
Stephen Colbert
I'm not. I am celebrating the pistachio right now. I'm on board. I love pistachios. I love a crushed pistachio. Like a pistachio crusted trout. Oh, unbelievable. Instead of a trout amandine, a trout pistachio. Fantastic. Enough butter? Who cares?
Jamie Lee Curtis
Very good.
Stephen Colbert
And I love pistachio ice cream.
Cory
Have you had the sea salt and vinegar?
Jamie Lee Curtis
Wonderful pistachio.
Cory
It's delicious.
Stephen Colbert
I didn't even know I get them.
Jamie Lee Curtis
Before the softball games.
Stephen Colbert
But that's. You see, it's been a while since I've been the spokesman for wonderful Pistachios. I didn't realize we'd achieved new pistachio technology. Yeah.
Jamie Lee Curtis
Yeah.
Stephen Colbert
Wow. Wonderful pistachios has every snack style covered right now. There's an obsession with jalapeno lime. There is an obsession session. It's almost a disorder. It's spicy, it's zesty. It's basically a flavor roller coaster in a nut. Snacking on the go. Grab a bag of no shells. Feeling contemplative and want to work for it a little. So earning it, they're saying, if you want to earn your nut, crack open those in shell beauties. Either way, it's snacking like a champ. So the next time hunger strikes, don't hold back. Unless it's a hunger strike, and then it's important that you do. Because whatever you're doing that for, I'm sure it's a worthwhile cause. Snack like you mean it with wonderful pistachios. Visit wonderfulpistachios.com to learn more.
Jamie Lee Curtis
That was a wonderful.
Stephen Colbert
I wonder what more there is to learn. We just told them so much. We just told them so much about pistachios. But evidently, there's a whole other world. There's an unexplored vista.
Jamie Lee Curtis
They got a bunch of flavors. They got dill pickle, jalapeno lime, as we learned, smoky barbecue. There's a lot of different flavors.
Stephen Colbert
Wow. And I would not disparage any of them.
Jamie Lee Curtis
No, no, no.
Stephen Colbert
Bring it on.
Jamie Lee Curtis
Nothing bad to say.
Stephen Colbert
Nut me.
Jamie Lee Curtis
Nut.
Stephen Colbert
Nut me with nut meat.
Jamie Lee Curtis
We're nut.
Stephen Colbert
No, we got nothing but nut. Nutty, nutty, nutty, nutty. Talk about, talk about, talk about, talk about nutty. Good.
Jamie Lee Curtis
Buying a car in Carvana was so.
Cory
Easy, I was able to finance it through them.
Jamie Lee Curtis
I just. Whoa, wait.
Cory
You mean finance? Yeah, finance.
Jamie Lee Curtis
Got pre qualified for a Carvana auto.
Cory
Loan, entered my terms and shot from thousands of great car options, all within my budget.
Jamie Lee Curtis
That's cool.
Cory
But financing through Carvana was so easy. Financed.
Jamie Lee Curtis
Done.
Cory
And I get to pick up my car from their Carvana vending machine tomorrow. Financed.
Jamie Lee Curtis
Right. That's what they said.
Cory
You can spend time trying to pronounce financing, or you can actually finance and buy your car. Today on Carvana financing, subject to credit approval. Additional terms and conditions may apply.
Stephen Colbert
I am so excited that Jamie Lee Curtis is here tonight. I am the biggest fan. She's fantastic in everything she ever.
Jamie Lee Curtis
Oh.
Stephen Colbert
Oh, I'm so sorry. Jamie Lee Curtis.
Jamie Lee Curtis
Stephen Colbert.
Stephen Colbert
Oh, my God. It's happened. We've been Freaky Tuesdayed.
Jamie Lee Curtis
No, no, no, no, no, no. I'm still me. You're still you. We're fine.
Stephen Colbert
No. Switching bodies is freaky Friday. Freaky Tuesday is when you keep your body, but our coffee orders switch.
Jamie Lee Curtis
Mr. Colbert, here's your tall Americano. No cream, no sugar. And Ms. Curtis, here's your iced skinny vanilla latte with extra whipped cream and matcha powder. No, I can't drink this.
Stephen Colbert
I didn't even know the coffee was available without whipped cream.
Jamie Lee Curtis
Oh, quick, quick, quick, quick. How do we unfreakie ourselves better?
Stephen Colbert
Oh, wait. How do you do it?
Jamie Lee Curtis
In the movie, we both have to go on a long emotional journey of personal growth that gives us a, you know, a deeper understanding of each other and ultimately ourselves.
Stephen Colbert
I'll just drink this.
Jamie Lee Curtis
Yeah. Same ease. Oh, that Disgusting. Who would drink this?
Stephen Colbert
Welcome, one and all, to the Late Show. I'm your host, Stephen Colbert. You know, folks, folks, I read once that if you're a passenger in an auto accident, it helps if you're just a little drunk because. And this evidence of science backs this up, a drunk passenger is a little loose. And if you're a little looser, you're less likely to get severely injured than if you were to tense up right before impact. Which brings me to our president. I think at this point, I think at this point it would help if we were all just a little drunk, because maybe then, maybe then, you know, maybe then it wouldn't be so painful when he drives the world into a telephone pole. And here's what I mean. Look, we all know that he's crazy, but some of the crazy stuff is just to distract us from the crazier stuff. And maybe we should stop trying to stop every crazy because stopping some of the crazy makes the crazy stuff seem less crazy than he could possibly craze. And, and let's face it, let's face. If you think we're going to stop all the crazy, you cray cray. The latest case in cuckoo. Some House Republican, I don't know who it is, just introduced a bill to rename the Kennedy center to the Donald J. Trump center for the Performing Arts. I'm sensing you don't like that. Clearly you are not eager to see Kid Rock dance the Nutcracker. But the bill's sponsor says that Trump is a patron of the arts and a staple of the pop culture landscape. I'm sorry, but it's true. Trump is a staple of pop culture. Just last week, he was great on South Park. Amazing, so daring. Breakout role, so free and open with his body. Now, while it's true that two months after Kennedy's 1963 assassination, Congress passed legislation renaming the National Cultural center as a living memorial to Kennedy. That was a long time ago. You know what they say about those who forget the past. They named stuff after Donald Trump. So let's just rip the band aid off and rename everything. The Washington Monument will become my big pointy penis and the Grand Canyon will become Donald's gaping hole. We should just accept that everything is going to be a little crazy. Okay, now, okay. Crazy is the new normal. For instance, Trump spent the last few days over in Scotland. The stated purpose was to negotiate trade golf over his golf tariffs with the European golf because he went there to play golf. He spent your tax dollars to open his new course in Aberdeen. And it was a grift for the whole family because the course was designed by Eric Trump, who was allowed out of his crate to say a few words. This course is remarkable. Nothing was left out. We had an unlimited budget and we exceeded it. What? That's not easy. That's not easy. They exceeded unlimited. Just like when I exceeded unlimited breadsticks. I exceeded unlimited breadsticks at the Olive Garden. Dad made me leave and sit in the car because he said, when we're here, I don't know you. This is actually. It's Trump. Was it the third. It's the third golf course for Trump in Scotland, which he sort of explained. We have the first course, which we call the old course, and the second course, which we call the new course, because that's the best way to describe anything else. Gets too complicated. No, it's through the new course. The new course is the second course, and the old course is the first course. And I don't talk about Jeffrey Epstein's intercourse. Oops, did it again. Anyway, Mulligan, can I have a. Hello. Is this. And I'm told this is a turkey leg. But it wasn't just golf on the strip. There was also kart. Specifically, Trump debuted a new armored golf cart. Obviously, we need to protect the President, but armored golf cart is such a strange combination of tough and elderly. It reminds me of the Dark Knight when Christopher Nolan introduced the bat rascal. Alfred. Alfred. Alfred. Alfred. I'm going to shot right. I'm going to Shoprite to get more gold bond. Trump did squeeze in some diplomacy between rounds of golf yesterday. He spoke with UK Prime Minister Keir Starmer about tariffs on products like whiskey. Now, a little word warning before we play this over the questions, you might hear the faintest whisper of bagpipes in the distance. Whiskey. Well, we'll talk about that. I didn't know whiskey was a problem. I'm not a big whiskey drinker, but maybe I should be when I'm over here. Maybe I'll have some whiskey today. Please do start drinking. If you haven't. I got a thing. You haven't had a drink in all of your 79 years. But we're already deep into the mouth of madness. Might as well throw back a few shots. Who knows? Maybe you're less crazy when you're wasted. Okay, okay. What if. What if we invest in social services to strengthen. Listen up. To strengthen the middle class, tax billionaires and treat immigrants with respect. Oh, God. Oh, God. Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. Hold on. I'm going to be sick. Eric, lie down here. I don't want to get the sand trap dirty. By the way, that little golf trip of his. $10 million. Okay, but don't you. But don't worry. They got a new way for you to pay for it, because the Trump administration is now accepting Venmo payments to help pay down the national debt. That's how desperate our situation is. We've started a GoFundMe for America. Next, you're going to see ads of Sarah McLachlan holding a sad Uncle Sam. He got back today. Is he back? He's back. He's back stateside. Trump got back home today to get back to his main duty as commander in chief, and that's suing anything that moves. He recently filed a $10 billion lawsuit against the Wall Street Journal. Lewd birthday card he allegedly drew for Allegedly Jeffrey Epstein. Allegedly. These kinds. These kinds of lawsuits that he files can just drag on for years. But Trump wants to speed this one up so he can get revenge on the guy who owns the Wall Street Journal, media mogul and snail that owns a bookshop, Rupert Murdoch. Uncle rupee is 94 years young, which is why Trump's lawyers have urged the court to depose him within the next two weeks in case he dies. Wow. Joke's on you, Donald. I'll never die. When my heart stops, they're just gonna glue my head onto a Roomba and marry it off to wife number six. She's a cryogenics expert who loves to wind surf. After two years, I'll leave her for a sexy bucket of formaldehyde. But he's not suing everybody. He's signing insane executive actions. The latest is a memo that allows federal workers to persuade co workers their religion is correct. And also with you, they say any religion, but you get a sense of which one the memo is rooting for. Because it says that no disciplinary action should be taken against employees displaying religious items such as crosses, crucifixes, and mezuzah. Yes, you can display any religious artifacts. Crosses, crucifixes, lowercase t's made of wood, the thing that vampires are scared of, and mezuzah. Maybe two mezuzahs like this. Now, before you say that this is gonna start a holy war in the break room, you should know that the memo allows employees to push their religion, provided that such efforts are not harassing in nature. Of course, converting people to your religion is always very chill. That's why all those people died in the Spanish Gentle suggestion. The new guidelines. The new guidelines have alarmed some legal scholars. Stephen. Yeah, what's up? What's up? Cory, I'm in the middle of the monologue here. You know how it just became okay to convert your co workers? Yeah, Cory, I'm talking about it right now. Oh, I don't watch the show. Well, what do you want? What do you want, Cory? I was wondering if you'd want to hear the good news about my dark lord, Moloch. No, I don't want to hear Moloch. Listen, you do you. But I'm not interested. But his dark powers could save your show. Okay, I'm listening. What? What would I have to do? Not much. A little ritual sacrifice, maybe volunteer at a few of our bake sales. You have bake sales? We're not monsters, Stephen. We just worshiped. One lemon square, only 50 cents.
Jamie Lee Curtis
Sol?
Stephen Colbert
No thanks. I'm low carb these days. We got a great show for you tonight.
Cory
Coming up. Jamie Lee Curtis. Summer break is here, and while kids are excited to hit pause on school, as a parent, you might be wondering how to keep their minds active without killing the summer vibe. Whether your child is trying to catch up, stay sharp or get a head start for the fall, IXL can make learning a seamless part of summer. IXL is an award winning online learning platform that helps kids truly understand what they're learning, whether they're brushing up on math or diving into social studies. It covers math, language arts, science and social studies from Pre K through 12th grade. With content that's engaging, personalized and yes, actually fun. It's the perfect tool to keep learning going without making it feel like school. Studies show kids who use IXL score higher on tests. This has been proven in almost every state. IXL uses smart technology to tailor support to each child's level, personality and learning pace, so make an impact on your child's learning. Get IXL now and listeners of this podcast can get an exclusive 20% off IXL membership when they sign up today at ixllearning.com audio visit ixllearning.com audio to get the most effective learning program out there at the best price. Get smoother, brighter skin instantly. In one easy step, Dermalogica's Daily Microfoliant gives you the smooth, glowy skin you want without damaging your skin barrier. This gentle exfoliating powder activates with water to smooth out rough texture and brighten skin. It's powerful enough to deliver results, yet gentle enough to use every single day, even on sensitive skin. See the results for yourself. Visit dermalogica.com and use code smooth at cart for an exclusive free gift with $65 purchase.
Stephen Colbert
Welcome back, everybody. Ladies and gentlemen, my guest tonight is an Oscar and Emmy award winning actress. You know from everything, everywhere, all at once, the bear and of course, the Halloween movies. She now stars in Freakier Friday. Please welcome to the late show, Jamie Lee Curtis. Very nice. I like the swag.
Jamie Lee Curtis
I want you to.
Stephen Colbert
I like the product placement. I like the product placement.
Jamie Lee Curtis
I want to know why Evvy couldn't stay.
Stephen Colbert
Why?
Jamie Lee Curtis
Why did you kick Evvy out?
Stephen Colbert
I didn't kick her out. Because she could come back out here if you want.
Jamie Lee Curtis
I think Evvy should come out here.
Stephen Colbert
All right.
Jamie Lee Curtis
But I want. Because I have. I have hostess gifts.
Stephen Colbert
You have hostess gifts?
Jamie Lee Curtis
I do.
Stephen Colbert
But if she's out here, I won't look at you.
Jamie Lee Curtis
You shouldn't look at me, Stephen Colbert.
Stephen Colbert
All right.
Jamie Lee Curtis
So awful. You have a puppy.
Stephen Colbert
We do. Benny, yes.
Jamie Lee Curtis
Well, guess what? This is Benny's new water dog bowl.
Stephen Colbert
Oh, very nice.
Jamie Lee Curtis
It's from my charity called My paw in yours, which is my hand in yours for Children's Hospital Los Angeles.
Stephen Colbert
Oh, lovely.
Jamie Lee Curtis
So there for Benny, My paw in yours.
Stephen Colbert
It's very nice.
Jamie Lee Curtis
Very paw. I. I'm a reader.
Stephen Colbert
You are a reader.
Jamie Lee Curtis
So I brought you the book of awakening and a book called Achieving our country by Richard Rorty, which was one of the Massey lectures at Harvard, which was good. And you should read it. And last.
Stephen Colbert
Thank you.
Jamie Lee Curtis
But not least.
Stephen Colbert
Yes.
Jamie Lee Curtis
Better late than never. A T shirt.
Stephen Colbert
Oh, that's very kind. That's very nice. You put some effort into that. Thank you.
Jamie Lee Curtis
I put the effort in.
Stephen Colbert
You're very kind. Thank you for that. And.
Jamie Lee Curtis
Oh, wow.
Stephen Colbert
What freak of your Friday.
Jamie Lee Curtis
What?
Stephen Colbert
Opening August 8th. Wow.
Jamie Lee Curtis
I can't even understand why that would be here. Yes, Hi. Stephen Colbert. I'm on your show.
Stephen Colbert
I know. I've heard.
Jamie Lee Curtis
I'm on your freaking show. I know.
Stephen Colbert
So nice to have a chance to talk to you. Long time fan, Never spoke to you. You're here. You're here. Just under the water.
Jamie Lee Curtis
No one wanted me to come here until you met me.
Stephen Colbert
Well, no, I always wanted to ask.
Jamie Lee Curtis
Stephen Colbert.
Stephen Colbert
What are you talking to me about? I met you backstage.
Jamie Lee Curtis
Wow. Okay.
Stephen Colbert
And we hugged right away.
Jamie Lee Curtis
Why did we hug? Stephen Colbert?
Stephen Colbert
We were at the Tribeca Film Festival. It was a panel that I was hosting. Commemorating. Or it was a panel with your husband, Christopher Guest, Best in show. I was doing the thing there and you were backstage and I saw you and I Was so excited to see you.
Jamie Lee Curtis
OK. This is Rashomon. OK. Why were you at the 25th celebration of best in Show?
Stephen Colbert
Because I always wanted to meet your husband.
Jamie Lee Curtis
Right, okay.
Stephen Colbert
So Christopher Guest. I always wanted to meet him. I never met him.
Jamie Lee Curtis
In order to meet my husband, who you're in love with, you had to do a panel. I actually had to, like, work for the panel.
Stephen Colbert
Exactly.
Jamie Lee Curtis
So, Stephen. So Chris is doing the panel. I'm sitting in the bleachers watching. It's very funny. You were very funny. You kind of stared at him a lot.
Stephen Colbert
I did.
Jamie Lee Curtis
You did a lot of this.
Stephen Colbert
I don't. I don't know if you know this, I don't know if you know this, but he's Christopher Guest.
Jamie Lee Curtis
Yes, I'm aware. Thank you. But what happened was you came off stage.
Stephen Colbert
Yes.
Jamie Lee Curtis
And I was standing in the wings, you know, and I thought I'd say hi.
Stephen Colbert
You said, I'm going to hug you because I'm a hugger.
Jamie Lee Curtis
Right. I hugged you. Well, you hugged me back because you had to because I was hugging you. But my point is, I don't know.
Stephen Colbert
If you know about this, but me just going randomly hugging women is not a great idea.
Jamie Lee Curtis
I understand. I introduce myself. I said, I'm a hugger thing. I said, I'm going to be on your show.
Stephen Colbert
And I said, I know.
Jamie Lee Curtis
No, you actually said, isn't he amazing? I said, what did he say? So let me just say this.
Stephen Colbert
I mean, but isn't he.
Jamie Lee Curtis
Yeah. So let me just say this. I'm fine with it. You know what? You know what it was like?
Stephen Colbert
Yeah.
Jamie Lee Curtis
It's like watching Love Island. No, seriously. Watching your love bloom together. Just watching you gaze at him and him loving on you. And the rest of the things just got really quiet and soft focus. And you guys were just sure.
Stephen Colbert
Let me ask you something. Is he here?
Jamie Lee Curtis
No.
Stephen Colbert
Just asking.
Jamie Lee Curtis
No. I'm on a Freakier Friday world tour.
Stephen Colbert
Oh, I know.
Jamie Lee Curtis
And Mr. Guest is along with me.
Stephen Colbert
Oh, there you go. There you go. Right there.
Jamie Lee Curtis
But Mr. Guest is not with me. He is at home with Rooney.
Stephen Colbert
Okay, we have to take a quick break. We're right back with more Jamie Lee Curtis. Everybody.
Cory
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Stephen Colbert
We're back. The star of Freakier Friday, Jamie Lee Curtis. It's a great time to be Jamie Lee Curtis.
Jamie Lee Curtis
It's a great.
Stephen Colbert
We all know this.
Jamie Lee Curtis
You know what? It's a great time.
Stephen Colbert
You won an Oscar. An Oscar for Everything Everywhere, all at once. An Emmy for the bear. How was this? What's this moment like for you? I mean, you've never been hotter. Jamie Lee Curtis.
Jamie Lee Curtis
Ah, thanks, Steven. Yeah, that's very nice of you. You know what? I'm having a moment. I'm having freedom. I never in my life, I've been an actor. I've been in horror movies, obviously, for a long time. And I've always just been an actor and loved my job. And only recently have I understood I'm an artist. And I've never said, like, I'm an artist. No, I'm being serious. I never referred to myself as an artist until about five years ago, six years ago. Because I'm feeling it. I feel like I'm in a creative meadow that makes me cry. I mean, I literally feel like I'm in this meadow and I'm surrounded by just opportunity and beauty and I'm.
Stephen Colbert
Does that feel freer?
Jamie Lee Curtis
Like, it's incredible. And, you know, ultimately, freedom in anything, spirituality, marriage, art, politics, to have a free mind, to be able to think for yourself, to have an expression of your soul through the work you do, whatever the work you do, even if it is a technical job, you still express your soul. I mean, musicians, my goodness. I mean, every day is your soul coming through your instrument. So I feel like this instrument is wide open, free and having just opportunity after opportunity that I just never thought I'd get.
Stephen Colbert
How'd you get to that place? I mean, that's a great feeling. Obviously, that's a rare feeling for a lot of people. But what was it? What opened the door for you?
Jamie Lee Curtis
You know what? Honestly, I really don't know. I mean, I got sober 26 years ago, which is a big freedom, you know. Cause prison of addiction of any kind is awful. And I'm very free because I have conquered something that was, you know, kind of an issue in my life. But it's all good. I really don't know. I don't have. I mean, if I start tracking back my life early performances early, you know, I started early. Can I tell you where?
Stephen Colbert
Sure.
Jamie Lee Curtis
And I may challenge you, Stephen Colbert.
Stephen Colbert
Sure.
Jamie Lee Curtis
I'm on your show, by the way.
Stephen Colbert
I'm just letting you know, just at the last minute. Yeah, you're on. You're on.
Jamie Lee Curtis
Thank you.
Stephen Colbert
You're on the Late show in the last minute. This is a limited edition at this point.
Jamie Lee Curtis
Yes. It's ok. You know, we love you. I in. Okay. And why at 8 years old, somebody at my school, John Thomas Dye in Los Angeles, would say to me, you out of all of the students, you're going to recite the Christmas pageant. You're going to be the child who's going to stand up and recite Luke 2, 8, 14.
Stephen Colbert
All right, hit me.
Jamie Lee Curtis
And there were in this. No, but I'm telling you something. I was eight. I wasn't an actor. I'm eight. And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night. And lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them. The glory of the Lord shone round about them, and they were sore afraid. And the angel said unto them, fear not. For behold, I bring you tidings of great joy which shall be to all people. For unto you is born this day in the city of David a savior which is Christ the Lord. And it shall be a sign unto you. And you shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in the manger. And suddenly, with the angels came, a multitude of the heavenly host, praising God and saying, glory to God in the highest. And on earth, peace, good will toward men. How the did I know that?
Stephen Colbert
How do you still know? How do you still. You just remember it from age 8.
Jamie Lee Curtis
I know that from age 8.
Stephen Colbert
That's Linus. Great line in A Charlie Brown Christmas. That's.
Jamie Lee Curtis
Did you ever do you're a good man Charlie Brown?
Stephen Colbert
No, I never did.
Jamie Lee Curtis
You would have been. Come on a revival.
Stephen Colbert
We got the theater. Yeah, you started off in horror, but you also have done fantastic comedic work too.
Jamie Lee Curtis
You're a nice boy.
Stephen Colbert
You always remember you in a fish cold vonda with John Cleese. One of the qu.
Jamie Lee Curtis
Yeah, great, funny.
Stephen Colbert
What do you remember about working with Cleese?
Jamie Lee Curtis
Okay, so John Cleese. I thought John Cleese was. I got a call from a friend who said, john Cleese would like to speak to you. Now, of course, I thought, like you, that he wanted to talk to Chris because I had just gotten married, so I just assumed a spinal tap was out and I just assumed John Cleese wanted to talk to Chris. So I called the guy thinking he was going to say, is he wonderful? And I was going to say, yeah. And then, you know, he would talk to him. Anyway, apparently he wanted to talk to me and he said, you know, I've written this movie for you, Kevin Kline, Michael Palin, myself. It's gonna be fun. It's really funny. Culture war movie. It'll be great. It'll be successful and come and do this. And I was like, okay. So then we were kind of doing the rehearsal and weirdly enough, John, and you'll appreciate this, he's meticulous, you know, you would think he's kind of loose, you know, he's so loose. He's not loose at all. Very, very small handwriting. A sign. It's always a sign.
Stephen Colbert
Yeah, exactly.
Jamie Lee Curtis
A sign. Like minuscule retentive. Well, whatever. And not an improviser, you know, word perfect guy. And of course, Kevin is, you know, cracking wise left and right. Anyway, he's telling the story of the movie and he says at one point, Archie and Wanda end up at this apartment and the people that own the apartment come in and you're there naked.
Stephen Colbert
You. You're naked. Okay.
Jamie Lee Curtis
Yeah. And I said to him, you know, John, you know, if I'm naked, I look really good naked. And I said, you know, John, you're not going to be looking at anything but my bits. Like, you're just going to be like, looking at my bits. And it's going to ruin the comedy of the scene. The scene's funny. It's really funny. I said, you know what would be funnier is if you're naked. Swear. I said, you know, you need to be naked. I said, it's funny if you're naked. And then of course, it's really funny. And he grabs the wife's picture off the thing and then covers. You know, it's funny. So anyway, that was my memory of it.
Stephen Colbert
Wow.
Jamie Lee Curtis
Is I did not have to be naked. Yeah. Well, great call.
Stephen Colbert
Good call.
Jamie Lee Curtis
Thank you.
Stephen Colbert
Well, we're going to take another break here. Jamie Lee Curtis.
Jamie Lee Curtis
I'm on the show. Stephen Klein.
Stephen Colbert
I know, I'm excited.
Jamie Lee Curtis
I'm just excited.
Stephen Colbert
What do you want from me? Now you're starring in and producing Freakier Friday.
Jamie Lee Curtis
I am.
Stephen Colbert
A sequel to the hit movie Freaky Friday, which was when?
Jamie Lee Curtis
2003.
Stephen Colbert
2003.
Jamie Lee Curtis
When Lindsay Lohan was 15. Wow. Remember, she was 15 years old.
Stephen Colbert
A lot of people are excited for this movie. And I understand you're the one who made this happen.
Jamie Lee Curtis
I did.
Stephen Colbert
How did you make this happen?
Jamie Lee Curtis
I made it happen simply because I went around the world to promote Halloween. And wherever I went in the world, kind of like the way people talk about Christopher Guest with you, people would say to me, you know, when are you going to make another Freaky Friday? That's all they really wanted to talk about. And I would be like, oh, well, you know, soon, maybe at some point. But, you know, Lindsay has to be old enough to be mom of a 15 year old because that's the only way you would make a sequel. And, you know, I kept saying that. And then finally I think I was in Australia and someone said, well, she is. And I think I actually googled her. I mean, I know her, but I don't know her birth date. And I think I Google, I think I even maybe have talked to Siri. The one time I spoke to Siri was Siri. How old is Lindsay Lohan? And it turned out she was old enough to have a 15 year old, like when she was 20. And that meant I could call Bob Iger and say, hi, Bob Iger, it's Jamie Lee Curtis. Hey, we knew each other in the past.
Stephen Colbert
Not like that.
Jamie Lee Curtis
Like that. He was my boss at abc. And I said, I think it's time. Bob Iger.
Stephen Colbert
Wow.
Jamie Lee Curtis
And that's how Freaky or Friday is coming to theaters on August 8th. We have a clip. We have a clip of it.
Stephen Colbert
We have a clip here.
Jamie Lee Curtis
Oh, so Can I explain it?
Stephen Colbert
I would love to explain it. What is the premise of this movie?
Jamie Lee Curtis
The premise of? Well, I switch with a teenager again.
Stephen Colbert
You switch with a teenager.
Jamie Lee Curtis
Well, that's what the movie's about.
Stephen Colbert
No, I understand.
Jamie Lee Curtis
Did you really just hit the table like in an exasperated Yes, I did. Do it again.
Stephen Colbert
I know that Jamie Lee Curtis, but you switch with a teenager and she switches with a teenager.
Jamie Lee Curtis
So Lindsay is now a music producer. She has a 15 year old daughter, she's a single mom. She meets a dude who she falls in love with. He has a 15 year old daughter, she's just lost her mom. They fall in love, but the two girls hate each other because the young girl is from Britain. And then there's a.
Stephen Colbert
Something happens and British people just hate people.
Jamie Lee Curtis
Obviously British people hate and we switch and I end up in the body of the 15 year old British girl who's a posh fashion wannabe kind of girl played by an actress named Sophia Hammonds.
Stephen Colbert
And she ends up in your body.
Jamie Lee Curtis
Yes. Which of course is mortifying for anybody. Beautiful. And I honestly said to the producers, I was like, just make fun of everything about me you can. Every wrinkle, the size of my face, the fact I have no lips. So. Well, I mean, you know what I mean?
Stephen Colbert
Love lips.
Jamie Lee Curtis
Yeah. No, but I don't have like. Anyway, so we.
Stephen Colbert
I can give you this now.
Jamie Lee Curtis
Well, we do it in the movie. She actually gets something called Rip pumper.
Stephen Colbert
What?
Jamie Lee Curtis
Rip pumper.
Stephen Colbert
Lip pumper.
Jamie Lee Curtis
Rip pumper.
Stephen Colbert
Rip pumper.
Jamie Lee Curtis
Well, because she gets big lips anyway, but Mark Harmon, who plays my husband again, we go to a pharmacy to do something and he says, you go get the essentials, honey, I'll get the whatever. And I go down the essentials aisle.
Stephen Colbert
But as a 15 year old in your body, you don't want to.
Jamie Lee Curtis
English girl who doesn't know what an essential is for someone over 15. And that is the sequence you're about to see.
Stephen Colbert
Do we have all that in our head?
Jamie Lee Curtis
Can you track it? Do I need all these things? Where does this go?
Stephen Colbert
What?
Jamie Lee Curtis
Adult nappies. That is so lazy.
Stephen Colbert
Oh, hey.
Jamie Lee Curtis
Yes, right here.
Stephen Colbert
Fix it in. Yes.
Jamie Lee Curtis
Isn't that toothpaste for old people?
Stephen Colbert
Oh, this is for when you lose your teeth. No.
Jamie Lee Curtis
You'Re a good man.
Stephen Colbert
You're a good woman. Freakier Friday opens in theaters on August 8th. Thank you for listening to the Late Show Pod show with Stephen Colbert. Just one more thing. If you want to see more of me, come to The Late Show YouTube channel for more clips and exclusives the grill isn't the only thing sizzling this summer. Pluto TV is bringing the heat with thousands of free movies. It's summer of cinema and it's all for free on Pluto TV Stream. All your favorite blockbuster hits. Gladiator. Are you not entertained? Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade. The Matrix trilogy. Here we go. Boys in the Hood. Good Burger and Jerry Maguire. All for free. Pluto TV Stream now pay. Never. This Friday, justice has a new daddy. Sundays you serve 20 years for Man's laughter.
Jamie Lee Curtis
You mean manslaughter?
Stephen Colbert
Must have been quite the joke. Liam Neeson. Surprised to see me? Me too. The Naked gun Friday. Rated PG 13.
Podcast Summary: The Late Show Pod Show with Stephen Colbert – Episode Featuring Jamie Lee Curtis
Episode Details
Timestamp: [04:00]
Stephen Colbert opens the segment with genuine enthusiasm, expressing his admiration for Jamie Lee Curtis.
Stephen Colbert:
"I am so excited that Jamie Lee Curtis is here tonight. I am the biggest fan. She's fantastic in everything she ever does."
[04:00]
Jamie Lee Curtis:
"Thank you, Stephen. It's great to be here."
[04:06]
Timestamp: [04:16] – [05:02]
The conversation takes a lighthearted turn as Stephen and Jamie engage in a playful exchange about "Freaky Tuesday," a parody of the body-switching concept.
Stephen Colbert:
"We've been Freaky Tuesdayed."
[04:10]
Jamie Lee Curtis:
"No, no, no, no, no, no. I'm still me. You're still you. We're fine."
[04:16]
They joke about their mismatched coffee orders and the absurdity of switching each other's preferences.
Timestamp: [05:13] – [15:13]
Stephen delivers his signature monologue, focusing on political satire surrounding President Trump. He humorously critiques Trump's actions and policies, including a fictitious bill to rename the Kennedy Center and the introduction of an armored golf cart.
Stephen Colbert:
"Crazy is the new normal."
[12:00]
Notable Quote:
"Trump is a staple of pop culture. Just last week, he was great on South Park. Amazing, so daring."
[12:45]
The monologue blends sharp wit with exaggerated scenarios to highlight political commentary.
Timestamp: [17:37] – [31:21]
After a series of advertisements, the focus returns to Jamie Lee Curtis as Stephen officially welcomes her to the show.
Stephen Colbert:
"Welcome back, everybody. Ladies and gentlemen, my guest tonight is an Oscar and Emmy-winning actress... Please welcome to the Late Show, Jamie Lee Curtis."
[17:37]
They exchange playful banter about product placements and Jamie's charitable efforts, showcasing their rapport and Jamie's charismatic personality.
Timestamp: [24:17] – [26:15]
Jamie Lee Curtis opens up about her evolution from an actor to recognizing herself as an artist. She reflects on her personal growth, sobriety, and the newfound creative freedom that has enriched her career.
Jamie Lee Curtis:
"I never referred to myself as an artist until about five years ago because I'm feeling it. I feel like I'm in a creative meadow that makes me cry."
[25:08]
Stephen Colbert:
"Does that feel freer?"
[25:22]
Jamie Lee Curtis:
"Freedom in anything... to have a free mind, to think for yourself, to express your soul through the work you do."
[25:34]
Timestamp: [26:15] – [31:21]
Jamie discusses pivotal moments in her career, including her long-standing relationship with acting, overcoming addiction, and memorable collaborations with industry icons like John Cleese and Kevin Kline.
Jamie Lee Curtis:
"I got sober 26 years ago, which is a big freedom. The prison of addiction is awful, and I'm very free because I have conquered something."
[26:15]
She shares amusing anecdotes about working on projects and navigating the entertainment industry with humor and grace.
Timestamp: [31:21] – [36:14]
The conversation shifts to Jamie Lee Curtis's latest project, "Freakier Friday," a sequel to the beloved "Freaky Friday." She details the inspiration behind the film, the casting of Lindsay Lohan, and the creative process that brought the sequel to fruition.
Jamie Lee Curtis:
"I made it happen simply because I went around the world to promote Halloween. Everywhere I went, people would say, 'When are you going to make another Freaky Friday?'"
[31:44]
Stephen Colbert:
"How did you make this happen?"
[31:46]
Jamie Lee Curtis:
"I called Bob Iger and said, 'Hey, we knew each other in the past,' and that's how 'Freakier Friday' is coming to theaters on August 8th."
[32:53]
She provides insights into the film's plot, emphasizing themes of identity and generational understanding.
Timestamp: [33:01] – [36:14]
Jamie shares behind-the-scenes stories from the making of "Freakier Friday," including interactions with co-stars and the challenges of portraying both adult and teenage perspectives.
Jamie Lee Curtis:
"We do it in the movie. She actually gets something called Rip pumper."
[34:35]
Stephen Colbert:
"And she ends up in your body."
[34:10]
Their banter highlights the comedic elements of the film and Jamie's dedication to her roles.
Timestamp: [36:14] – [37:13]
Stephen wraps up the interview by teasing the release of "Freakier Friday" and expressing gratitude to Jamie Lee Curtis for her time and contributions.
Stephen Colbert:
"Freakier Friday opens in theaters on August 8th. Thank you for listening to the Late Show Pod Show with Stephen Colbert."
[36:15]
Jamie Lee Curtis:
"Thank you, Stephen. I'm excited for everyone to see it."
[37:13]
Key Takeaways:
Notable Quotes:
"Freedom in anything... to have a free mind, to think for yourself, to express your soul through the work you do." – Jamie Lee Curtis
[25:34]
"Crazy is the new normal." – Stephen Colbert
[12:00]
This episode offers listeners an engaging blend of humor, personal storytelling, and insights into Jamie Lee Curtis's latest cinematic endeavors, all delivered with Stephen Colbert's signature wit and charm.