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This episode is brought to you by Amazon Prime. From streaming to shopping, prime helps you get more out of your passions. So whether you're a fan of true crime or prefer a nail biting novel from time to time, with services like Prime Video, Amazon Music and fast free delivery, prime makes it easy to get more out of whatever you're into or getting into. Visit Amazon.comprime to learn more.
Stephen Colbert
Have a seat my friends. Welcome one and all to the Late Show. I am your host, Stephen Colbert. First of all, happy happy Pride month, everybody at the Late Show. Happy pride, everybody. Here at the Late show, we value every human being no matter who they love, as long as they are Nielsen families who buy our sponsors products. Quick reminder for the month of June, the Charmin Bears will be pooping rainbows. Enjoy the go. One person without a lot to be proud of today is Iowa senator and mother in law noticing you don't cut sandwiches the way her son likes Joni Ernst. Senator Ernst held a town hall on Friday. On Friday where she attempted to sell Trump's big beautiful bill, which happens to include big brazen cuts to Medicaid. And the audience weren't buying it.
Joni Ernst
When you are arguing about illegals that are receiving Medicaid benefits, 1.4 million, 1.4. They're not, they are not eligible. So they will be coming off.
Elon Musk
So.
Joni Ernst
People are not dying. Well, we all are going to die.
Elon Musk
Wow.
Stephen Colbert
That's your answer, Senator. Why have any laws at all? Why have any regulation just update those bathroom signs to say employees could wash hands, but death comes for us all. Also. Also, Senator, are we all going to die? Because if so, someone should tell the United States Senate this exchange, this here exchange probably would have blown over eventually, but people started criticizing Joni Ernst and she couldn't not respond to that. So she doubled down with this apology.
Joni Ernst
Hello everyone. I would like to take this opportunity to sincerely apologize for a statement that I made yesterday at my town hall. I made an incorrect assumption that everyone in the auditorium understood that yes, we are all going to perish from this earth. So I apologize and I'M really, really glad that I did not have to bring up the subject of the Tooth Fairy as well.
Stephen Colbert
Oh my God. Is the Tooth Fairy dead? I knew something was wrong when she didn't leave me cash after I had my crown replaced. Also, it's hard to tell in this video, but Ernst apparently filmed this in a cemetery. Seems a little tone deaf, but it does explain her new campaign yard signs. Ernst. Ernst then explained why we should all stop struggling and simply long for the sweet embrace of death.
Joni Ernst
But for those that would like to see eternal and everlasting life, I encourage you to embrace my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.
Stephen Colbert
Yes, because Jesus was famous for his cavalier attitude toward the poor and the sick. As it says in the Gospel of John, die, Lazarus, die.
Elon Musk
Stay down.
Stephen Colbert
People, forget. The fact that the hungering wolf of oblivion laps forever at our door with his eternal tongue isn't the only good news out there. Because now it's official. Elon Musk is leaving the federal government. There you go. There you go. There it is. In fact, is this true? I'm told we have footage of him waving goodbye. No, wrong wave. Wrong wave. Elon Musk's time at the White House will be remembered as a steaming pile of public service. As the chief chainsaw wielder of Doge, he oversaw the firing of nearly 10,000 workers. And according to one estimate, his cuts to USAID have been blamed for 300,000 deaths. But it's shocking. Shocking. But that was just part of the GOP's campaign promise.
Joni Ernst
We are all going to perish from this earth.
Stephen Colbert
According to Trump. According to Donald Trump, Elon isn't saying goodbye to Doge. He's saying, see you later.
Elon Musk
Elon's really not leaving.
Stephen Colbert
He's going to be back and forth, I think. I have a feeling it's his baby. Yes. And since it's his baby, he's going to be naming it Xeron and abandoning its mother. But the weirdest, I think maybe the weirdest part of this weird, weird meeting was Elon's face. Because for some reason, he had a black eye. Oh, no. If only someone in the White House had access to makeup. So why the black eye? Who hates Elon Musk enough to punch him in the face? I'm not Sherlock Holmes, but could it be everyone. Plastic. This is plastic. Yes. We had a long debate in rehearsal whether this was worth the stage weight of going for it. What do you think? So I think now. Thank you, citizen. When asked about his shiner, Elon blamed his five year old son, X. Mr. Musk, is your eye okay?
Elon Musk
What happened to your eye?
Stephen Colbert
I noticed there was a bruise there.
Elon Musk's Son
Yeah, no, I was just fussing around.
Stephen Colbert
With Lelex and I said, go ahead, punch me in the face.
Elon Musk's Son
And he did.
Stephen Colbert
Completely normal thing every normal parent says to their child, because we all know parents know you gotta run bedtime like a prison yard. Okay. Okay, buddy. You know the dream. Put on your PJs, brush your teeth, and walk up to the biggest daddy in this room and punch him right in the face. Although Trump made a big deal of appreciating Elon, behind the scenes, he's just as skeeved out as the rest of us. Reportedly, Trump has described Musk as 50% genius. 50% boy. Better watch out, Elon, because by your own logic, that means 50% of you wants to punch you in the face. Now, to be fair, Elon might seem a little eccentric because he is absolutely zooted to the gills on Vitamin Freak. According to a new report, during the 2024 campaign, Elon was using drugs far more intensely than previously known, including ecstasy and psychedelic mushrooms. It's not clear exactly when Musk was taking the combination of ecstasy and shrooms, but I'm guessing they kicked in right about. I'm Super Jack. Wow, that's good. That's good. In addition to the shroom and E balls, he was also apparently on weight loss drugs, or as the guy he endorsed calls it to fat shot drug. Elon's favorite flavor of brain spice evidently was ketamine, which he told people he was taking so much of that it was affecting his bladder. Wow. Bad for Elon. Great for my pre show diction exercises. The A hole's K hole f'd his pee hole. The A hole's K hole F'd his. Get out of here. I don't know what it's about. I don't know what we're doing here. I don't know what we're doing. Now, Elon had previously said that he took a small amount of the drug to treat depression, but it seems like he might have been taking way more than that because bladder problems impact chronic users of ketamine and can lead to frequent and painful urination and episodes of incontinence. That is rough. You know, you're depressed, so you take ketamine. Then you take so much ketamine that you pee your pants, and that makes you more depressed, so you need more ketamine. I mean, is there any way to break this vicious cycle?
Joni Ernst
We are all going to perish from.
Stephen Colbert
This earth thank you, Senator. Thank you. Thank you for that message of hope. Musk denied the drug abuse posting. I am not taking drugs. The New York Times was lying their ass off. I tried prescription ketamine a few years ago and said so on X. Well, it wasn't just on X. It was also on mushrooms and ketamine. Let's see what other totally normal things happened while we were off. Oh yeah. On Saturday, the President of the United States posted a conspiracy theory that that Joe Biden was executed and replaced by a robot clone. Now, okay, obviously this is absolutely crazy. You can't be a robot and a clone, okay? It's complete madness. Unless. Follow me down the rabbit hole here. Follow me down deep under Cheyenne Mountain to the nuclear strike proof NORAD command center where top engineers may have collaborated with geneticists using CRISPR to to follow the instructions in a manual like this that I made on my work printer titled Project Build Back Better. That contains blueprints for something called the joebot that could be controlled remotely from Hunter Biden's laptop. It was a perfect plan with only one the Joe bot couldn't recognize George Clooney. Let's take a look at the post the President of the United States shared. There is no Joe Biden executed in 2020. Biden clones, doubles and robotic engineered soulless, mindless entities are what you see. That's right. In 2020, a secret cabal took out an old slow Joe Biden and replaced him with an older, slower Joe Biden. Oh yes. Oh yes. It's natural. It's just like when you trade in Your rusted out 93 Honda Civic for an old man who loves trains. If any of you doubting Thomases out there need more proof, Trump's post shows two signatures. Biden's old signature, Joe Biden and the clone one, J.R. biden. Back to the rabbit hole. Okay, we all know the R stands for Robinette, but this story is all about doubles. So the double E and the double T cancel each other out. Now we're left with Robin. Rob in. What's the opposite of in? Out. Rob out. Very curious. And who are the Democrats trying to fool you? Robot Joe Biden. We got a great show for you tonight.
Elon Musk
Coming up. Jean Smart.
Elon Musk's Son
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Stephen Colbert
Priceline. Welcome back everybody. Ladies and gentlemen, my first guest tonight is a six time Emmy award winning actor. You know, from mayor of Easttown, Fargo and Hacks. Please welcome back to the late show, Jean Smart.
Elon Musk
Thank you.
Stephen Colbert
Hi. Nice to see you, Jean Smart.
Elon Musk
Thank you. Nice to be here.
Stephen Colbert
You know, I'm not the only fan out there since the last time you were on here, you won your third Emmy for hacks. Congratulations for that. But you got six Emmys. At this point, do you ever just sort of get blase about that kind of accolade?
Elon Musk
No.
Stephen Colbert
No. You ready for another? For another.
Elon Musk
That's right.
Stephen Colbert
That's nice. You know, Emmys are fun when you win.
Elon Musk
No, it is. I mean, it's always a compliment. It's always, you know, and it's from, you know, your psyche.
Stephen Colbert
Unless you lose, then it's not a compliment.
Elon Musk
No, no. But getting no is the biggest honor, right?
Stephen Colbert
Yeah.
Elon Musk
I mean, we're all gonna die, right?
Stephen Colbert
We're all gonna die. There you go. Okay, here's what I love. Here's what I love is that this year, this season, Deborah is a late night host. And have you enjoyed that?
Elon Musk
Oh, sure.
Stephen Colbert
Did you catch the bug?
Elon Musk
Well, yeah, because I got to do all the fun stuff without the hard stuff that I'm sure you have to put up with.
Stephen Colbert
Sure. I just show up right before the show.
Elon Musk
The audience is paid to laugh at me.
Stephen Colbert
Ex. Same here. All these people, they're all getting sagged minimum out there tonight.
Elon Musk
And cookbooks.
Stephen Colbert
And cookbooks. Exactly. There was a memorable cameo this season with just someone I admire so much, Carol Burnett. Right there. Look at that. The legendary. And your character is the host of the Late show on cbs, right?
Elon Musk
Uh, sure.
Stephen Colbert
And Carol, Carol of course is a variety star on cbs.
Elon Musk
Yes.
Stephen Colbert
Did you, I mean, had you known Carol before?
Elon Musk
Just a little bit. We had actually. She played My mom on an episode of Hot in Cleveland. And then. And then we had been in contact before that, over the years. Which you. We discussed possibly doing her show in New York that she wrote about her growing up. She had talked to me about doing that, but I wasn't able to.
Stephen Colbert
She's extraordinary. Just a lovely person.
Elon Musk
No, she's my. If I can still be like her at 91, I'd be very, very happy. But, you know, I asked her if she ever got hurt because she did all those insane stunts on the show. All the time, she said not a single injury.
Stephen Colbert
No.
Elon Musk
All those years, she said a couple of little bruises. That was it.
Stephen Colbert
Have you been hurt on stage?
Elon Musk
Oh, you don't want to know what goes on.
Stephen Colbert
I do want to know, actually. That's why I asked. Like anything major, because I messed up my shoulder pretty bad a couple times.
Elon Musk
When I was doing Mare of East Town. I thought it would be funny because I'm sitting on a railing and the stairs go down to the front door and I'm spying on my daughter, Kate Winslet, and she's out on a date, and I'm kind of. And I thought it'd be funny if I almost fell. First five takes went great. And then. Then you actually fell over the railing down the stairs. I got a concussion and I broke one of my ribs in half, but thank God I had on padding, otherwise I would have broken my hip.
Stephen Colbert
Please tell me they kept rolling.
Elon Musk
No, I didn't even get to see it.
Stephen Colbert
That's the problem.
Elon Musk
And Kate said, oh, God, it looked just like a stunt person. It was just.
Stephen Colbert
Okay, so season five. Season five's come up. Any guest stars you'd particularly like to have on, like Carol?
Elon Musk
Well, we sort of talked to Sir Elton about it, and he's interested.
Stephen Colbert
He'd be fantastic.
Elon Musk
And Harry Styles would be fun to have on the show.
Stephen Colbert
Sure, sure, Elton. I'm sure he's watching.
Elon Musk
Are you.
Stephen Colbert
What? You could come on Too late. Too late. Took almost 15 seconds to drag that out of you. No, you're. You're back on Broadway for the first time in 25 years. Call me Izzy at school. Studio 54. What's call Maisie about?
Elon Musk
It's about this woman who. She lives in a trailer park in Louisiana. She got married at age 17, and she kind of obsessively writes, and she has to hide it from her husband, her writing.
Stephen Colbert
And It's. And it's 90 minutes, no intermission. Essentially, just you on stage.
Elon Musk
Yeah.
Stephen Colbert
And that's an extraord. That's like memorizing a book.
Elon Musk
Yeah.
Stephen Colbert
Have you always been good? I mean, I assume that you haven't gone up in your lines or anything like that.
Elon Musk
We're still in previews.
Stephen Colbert
Forgive me. You know what I like? I like these prompters here for me. Just get a couple of those around the.
Elon Musk
Yeah, No, I left out one of my favorite couple of lines the other night, and I just. And there were people outside afterwards, and I was signing some autographs. I wanted to give them a refund. I felt like you didn't get to see the whole show.
Stephen Colbert
Wow.
Elon Musk
I did a dramatic reading of it for my friends who missed it.
Stephen Colbert
Have you always been good at that?
Elon Musk
Yes.
Stephen Colbert
Memorizing lines. Yeah. It's kind of a thing that people who aren't actors often say. How do you memorize all those lines? It just kind of happens.
Elon Musk
But you know what it's like if you're telling a story that you love or a joke that you love, it's like you don't forget it because you enjoy telling it so much.
Stephen Colbert
Right.
Elon Musk
But, yeah, it's been harder than I thought.
Stephen Colbert
Do you have a process? I found that writing it physically down by hand helped me.
Elon Musk
Really?
Stephen Colbert
Yeah. Yeah. Writing out the script.
Elon Musk
Well, I probably should do that because I think I'm more of a visual learner. But I would wear headphones. I recorded the whole show on my phone, and then I just put it on a loop. Listen.
Stephen Colbert
Wow.
Elon Musk
I would fall asleep listening.
Stephen Colbert
Wow, are you still doing that?
Elon Musk
And I would listen with my right ear because that controls the left side of your brain, which is the factual side, which makes you memorize and learn. So you want to listen with your right ear.
Stephen Colbert
Wow.
Elon Musk
That's just science.
Stephen Colbert
I'm very impressed. We have to take a quick break. We'll be right back with more Gene Smart. Everybody.
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Stephen Colbert
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Elon Musk
We're on the same team.
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Stephen Colbert
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Captain, an unidentified ship is approaching, Over.
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Stephen Colbert
We're back with the star of Call Me izzy at Studio 54, Gene Smart. How are you with texting? Because.
Elon Musk
Oh, God. No, no, that's the whole, it's. No, it's the whole thing of getting older and everything's going, you know, it's just like.
Stephen Colbert
Well, the reason I bring it up is that I used to be able to memorize things and I can't memor. When I was a kid, I can memorize like that. And I also now that everybody communicates on phones, I can't see the little letters. Well, the emojis.
Elon Musk
Oh, the emojis.
Stephen Colbert
I can't see the emojis.
Elon Musk
So you sent the wrong emojis.
Stephen Colbert
Well, my wife actually, for several of her friends who had lost loved ones, sent the laughing til you cry emoji by accident, thinking it was the crying emoji.
Elon Musk
Oh, no.
Stephen Colbert
Which I found hilarious.
Elon Musk
No, I mean, I realized I sent somebody a text the other day because the letter J is right next to the letter I. Oh, sure. And I didn't read the text before I pressed send. Big mistake. And so people must think I'm now referring to myself in the third person now that I'm so full of myself. So it says, jay will not be having dinner with you tonight. J. J will call tomorrow and explain.
Stephen Colbert
Don't ever drop it. I think you found some. I think you found something. Goodbye.
Elon Musk
Just like the eyes, everything's going. It's like I bought this pair of white pants the other day and they had kind of this green, kind of embroidered, kind of like a vine or something on it. And I thought they were kind of pretty and really comfy. And I wore them to my son's school to meet the college counselor. And later I really looked at them and I went, oh, that's a marijuana plant with a naked woman on one leg and on the other thigh was a bong.
Stephen Colbert
And I was like, there you go.
Elon Musk
Couldn't imagine what he thought.
Stephen Colbert
Wow, what is that? Cool mom, cool mind. Now, I understand that you recently, in doing in a one person show, essentially here you got recently encouragement from another person who's going to be performing in New York, a similar type of Show.
Elon Musk
Yes. And we have yet to meet. John Krasinski is here doing a one man show named Angry. It's called Angry Allen. And I don't know if I'm going to get to see it because I think we have the identical schedule, but we have the same vocal coach.
Stephen Colbert
Yes.
Elon Musk
So she goes and she warms up John and then she comes over and she warms up me. And so we started sending each other little messages and he sent me a bottle of wine and.
Stephen Colbert
Oh, that's nice.
Elon Musk
We're going to try to get together after we open and, you know, see if we're still alive.
Stephen Colbert
He's never sent me anything. Nothing? No. We're supposedly friends.
Elon Musk
Yeah.
Stephen Colbert
Oh, well, I think he's mad because I beat him at arm wrestling.
Elon Musk
Oh, well, that would do it. I wouldn't mind if you beat me at arm wrestling.
Stephen Colbert
But he's want to go right now.
Elon Musk
He's. Oh, and Holland Taylor.
Stephen Colbert
What? Who?
Elon Musk
Oh, and Holland Taylor. Holland Taylor who did that wonderful one woman show about Ann Richards.
Stephen Colbert
Yes.
Elon Musk
Yeah. And I called her, I said, help, help. You know, do you have any tips? You know, but she. Yeah, she. I mean, she was just playing the one character. I actually do the voices of eight characters. 90% of it is the one woman, Izzy. But then I also do her husband, her neighbor, her teacher, an older couple, and then a guy who picks her up in a bar.
Stephen Colbert
Wow. Do we.
Elon Musk
I mean, I don't. I'm not really exactly playing other characters per se, but she talks about all these people, she tells all these stories, and so it's kind of filtered through her. It's her version of all these different people.
Stephen Colbert
Okay. Because I thought maybe we'd see the guy pick her up at a bar, something like that.
Elon Musk
Just in your imagination, Steve.
Stephen Colbert
It's at Studio 54 down the street, which of course now is performance based. Did you ever go to Studio back in the heyday? I did with Tolston and Calvin and Andy and Nick and Bianca.
Elon Musk
No, I mean, I mean, I think I just missed it. I think I moved here just about when it was closing down. 81.
Stephen Colbert
I don't know, 82 something.
Elon Musk
I wasn't a club goer either, so I would have been, you know, I mean, in college I.
Stephen Colbert
You get out when you're a young actor. You don't. Can't afford anything.
Elon Musk
Well, that's true.
Stephen Colbert
All my. I had friends who had actual jobs, would go to clubs. Yeah, yeah. I'd be there if I was the waiter.
Elon Musk
Yeah. No, but I mean, even in college, I mean, I'd be at, you know, drama class parties or something. Everybody would be getting stoned and I would just be asleep on the couch.
Stephen Colbert
Yes. And now you got the pants with the pot on them.
Elon Musk
Better late than never.
Stephen Colbert
Wonderful to see you again.
Elon Musk
Thank you.
Stephen Colbert
Thank you for being here. Call me. Izzy is on Broadway at Studio 54. It's Gene Smart, everybody. Thank you for listening to the Late show Pod show with Stephen Colbert. Just one more thing. If you want to see more of me, come to the late show YouTube channel for more clips and exclusives.
Elon Musk
911.
Stephen Colbert
Six emergency. Yes.
Elon Musk
Somebody killed two girls.
Stephen Colbert
My grandbaby and my friend. You're dead.
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Podcast Summary: The Late Show Pod Show with Stephen Colbert – Episode Featuring Jean Smart
Podcast Information:
In this episode of The Late Show Pod Show with Stephen Colbert, host Stephen Colbert delivers his trademark blend of humor, sharp wit, and insightful commentary. The episode, titled "Jean Smart | The DOGE Days Are Over," features a mix of political satire, celebrity interviews, and candid conversations. Notably, the episode includes discussions with Senator Joni Ernst, tech mogul Elon Musk, and acclaimed actress Jean Smart, offering listeners a comprehensive and entertaining experience.
Joni Ernst's Controversial Statements:
The episode opens with Stephen Colbert addressing recent political events, particularly focusing on Iowa Senator Joni Ernst's contentious remarks during a town hall meeting.
Stephen humorously critiques Ernst's morbid outlook on legislation, questioning the necessity of laws if death is inevitable.
Apology and Humorous Aftermath:
Ernst later issues an apology for her statements, leading to humorous speculation about the Tone Deaf setting of her video filmed in a cemetery.
Colbert continues the satire by linking Ernst's comments to broader existential musings.
Departure from Federal Government:
Stephen shifts focus to Elon Musk, humorously discussing his exit from the federal government and his tenure at the White House.
Humorous Take on Musk's Personal Life:
The conversation takes a lighter turn as Musk's interactions with his son are highlighted.
Musk's Drug Use Satire:
Colbert satirizes reports of Musk's alleged substance use during the 2024 campaign, weaving humor into the narrative about drug abuse and its consequences.
Memorable Quotes:
Introduction and Achievements:
Stephen Colbert warmly welcomes six-time Emmy Award-winning actress Jean Smart, praising her recent accolades and performances.
Discussion on Acting and Roles:
Jean Smart shares insights into her acting career, including anecdotes from her roles in shows like Hacks and Mare of Easttown.
Behind-the-Scenes Stories:
The conversation delves into Jean Smart's one-person Broadway show, revealing the challenges and humorous mishaps encountered during rehearsals.
Memorable Quotes:
Interactions with Other Celebrities:
Jean Smart discusses her interactions with other actors, including mentions of John Krasinski and Holland Taylor, adding a personal touch to the interview.
Throughout the episode, Colbert incorporates satirical advertisements and promotional segments, maintaining the show's comedic essence.
These segments enhance the entertainment value, blending seamlessly with the main discussions.
The episode concludes with Colbert wrapping up the interview with Jean Smart, highlighting her upcoming projects and offering final humorous remarks.
Stephen Colbert effectively balances insightful conversations with humor, providing listeners with a rich and engaging episode that encapsulates the essence of The Late Show.
This episode stands out for its seamless integration of political satire, celebrity interviews, and comedic storytelling. Stephen Colbert's adept handling of diverse topics ensures that both regular listeners and newcomers find the episode entertaining and insightful.
Additional Information:
Listeners are reminded to use discount code "TLS20" for 20% off all The Late Show with Stephen Colbert products on ParamountShop.com. For more episodes, watch The Late Show with Stephen Colbert weeknights at 11:35/10:35c on CBS or stream it on Paramount+.