The Late Show Pod Show with Stephen Colbert

Episode: Jennifer Garner | Kristi Business
Date: February 17, 2026

Episode Overview

This episode of "The Late Show Pod Show" centers on Stephen Colbert's signature comedic take on the week's political oddities before welcoming beloved actress Jennifer Garner. The conversation covers Presidential holidays, political scandals, party balloons mistaken for cartel drones, and AI nutrition advice, then transitions into a warm, nostalgic, and celebratory interview with Garner. The discussion touches on family adventures, Garner’s business milestone, memories from early careers, and her return in season two of "The Last Thing He Told Me" on Apple TV.

Monologue & Headlines (02:11–13:38)

President’s Day and Presidential Nostalgia (02:21–03:16)

• Colbert jokes about the evolution of President’s Day from separate holidays for Washington and Lincoln (“I’m a President’s Day originalist. It wasn’t always all presidents…”).
  • Notable quote:

    “They jammed together into what we now call President's Day. But this still does not apply to every single president.” – Stephen Colbert (02:21)

Kristi Noem’s Office Drama (03:20–06:17)

• Colbert lampoons stories about Homeland Security Secretary Kristi Noem’s reported jealousy and staff treatment.
• Alleged rivalry with border czar Tom Homan, citing excessive media appearance tracking.
• Colbert riffs on rumors of Noem’s romantic ties with top advisor Corey Lewandowski, their use of a private jet, and the ongoing “boing, oing, oing” joke referencing the airplane manufacturer.
  • Notable quote:

    “That rumor is that the two of them are in a romantic relationship even though they're both married with children. Okay, if that romantic part is true, Corey, a word of warning. Avoid doggy sty, Especially near the gravel pit.” – Stephen Colbert (05:18)

Drone Panic in El Paso: Balloons or Cartel, or... Aliens? (06:18–10:15)

• FAA’s dramatic airspace shutdown in El Paso, Texas, over suspected drones—later revealed to be Mylar party balloons.
• Military-style drone response leads to lampooning bureaucratic confusion and mishandling.
• Colbert segues into Obama’s podcast comments teasing that “aliens are real,” and subsequent denial on social media—suggesting in jest there’s a government cover-up.
  • Notable quote:

    “Obama reveals aliens exist, then goes to a basketball game and suddenly changes his story. Who got to him?” – Stephen Colbert (09:30)

AI Nutrition Goes Off Rails (10:17–13:38)

• Colbert skews the new Health and Human Services website, realfood.gov, where nutrition advice is delivered by Elon Musk’s AI chatbot “Grok.”
• The bot recommends foods that can be comfortably inserted rectally; hilarity follows with riffing on “acetarian” diets and bananas in odd places.
  • Notable quote:

    “The nutrition bot gives advice for the safest foods that can be inserted into your rectum. Are we great again yet?” – Stephen Colbert (11:20)

  • Memorable moment:

    “Of course, to be safe, be sure to serve those with plenty of ranch before you venture into the Hidden Valley.” – Stephen Colbert (12:32)

Main Guest: Jennifer Garner (15:51–25:26)

Adventuring with Mom & The Northern Lights (16:07–17:22)

• Garner recounts a recent trip to Yellowknife, Canada to see the Northern Lights with her 88-year-old mother:
  • Her mom’s adventurous spirit (all 50 states, all 7 continents).
  • Garner’s appreciation for the experience:

    “It was magical. It really is. The world is so beautiful.” – Jennifer Garner (17:12)

Early NYC Days & Babysitting the Colberts (18:00–19:19)

• Discussing New York’s recent snow day, Garner shares a story of sledding down hills on cookie sheets.
• Nostalgic reveal: Garner babysat Colbert’s eldest daughter when both were guest stars on "Spin City." A story of shared beginnings.
  • Notable quote:

    “They were kind enough to ask my roommate and me to babysit for their gorgeous little one because you–” – Jennifer Garner (18:52)
    “That baby you were feeding is 30 now.” – Stephen Colbert (19:14)

Winter Olympic Cookie Sheet Event (19:33–20:13)

• Colbert jokes about making cookie-sheet sledding into a new Olympic event:

  “You could make that into an Olympic event… go down on the cookie sheet and you have to bake cookies.” – Stephen Colbert (20:01)

Entrepreneurial Milestone: Once Upon a Farm Goes Public (21:25–22:45)

• Garner celebrates her organic kids' food company, Once Upon a Farm, going public.
• Explains the company’s mission:

  “All organic, fresh, non gmo, no extra ingredients no added sugar.” – Jennifer Garner (21:56)

• Garner describes the moment:

  “A lot of the team members brought their babies and kids… it was fun.” – Jennifer Garner (22:33)

Favorite Family Recipes & More Colbert Nostalgia (22:47–23:20)

• Garner’s favorite thing to make for her kids: bread, continuing her family’s Sunday tradition.
• Reminiscing about cooking mac and cheese for Colbert’s daughter.

Season Two of “The Last Thing He Told Me” (23:20–25:17)

• Garner’s excitement returning to the Apple TV series, especially teaming up with friend Judy Greer (from “13 Going on 30” days).
• Discussion of the appeal of “competency porn”—enjoying characters who are exceptionally good at what they do:

  “It’s like what they call competency porn. Where we all love characters who are, like, excellent at their jobs. Like you, Steven, or… lawyers.” – Jennifer Garner (24:12)

• Garner enjoyed playing a character, Hannah, who prepares vigilantly to protect her daughter and now knows “how to throw down.”
• Colbert playfully warns not to google “competency porn” at work.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “So she's [my mom] been to seven continents in 50 states.” – Jennifer Garner (16:51)
• “You could make that into an Olympic event… Like Great British Bake Off or something like that.” – Stephen Colbert (20:01)
• “It just…I felt like it was in a balloon over my own, you know, just watching all of it.” – Jennifer Garner (22:33)
• “Do not use your work computer to look up competency porn.” – Stephen Colbert (25:20)

Timestamps for Key Segments

• 02:21 – President’s Day jokes and origins
• 03:20 – Kristi Noem “exposé” and Trump staff humor
• 06:18 – El Paso drone scare: party balloons vs. aliens
• 10:17 – HHS AI chatbot and rectal-nutrition riff
• 15:51 – Jennifer Garner joins the show
• 16:07–17:22 – Northern Lights story with Garner’s mom
• 18:00–19:19 – Babysitting Colbert’s daughter, “Spin City” connection
• 21:25–22:45 – Garner’s Once Upon a Farm IPO experience
• 23:20–25:17 – “Last Thing He Told Me” season two preview, competency porn banter

Summary Takeaway

This episode offers a perfect blend of Colbert’s topical, irreverent monologue and Jennifer Garner’s wholesome, adventurous spirit. From political jabs to AI absurdity, then pivoting to Garner’s family bonds, career milestones, and heartfelt reflections, the show delivers both laughs and warmth. Garner’s down-to-earth stories—whether about her mom, her business, or her deep Hollywood friendships—shine with humor and heart, making this conversation memorable for fans old and new.