The Late Show Pod Show with Stephen Colbert

Episode: Jim Gaffigan's Colbert Questionert
Date: April 13, 2026

Episode Overview

In this lively and humorous episode, Stephen Colbert puts comedian Jim Gaffigan in the hot seat with his signature "Colbert Questionnaire," a rapid-fire series of quirky and probing questions designed to reveal surprising truths and character quirks of his guests. The conversation maintains a playful tone, with Colbert’s wit matched by Gaffigan’s dry and self-deprecating humor. Beyond laughs, the duo touches on nostalgia, mortality, faith, family, and even deep-cut music recommendations—all filtered through Jim Gaffigan’s unique comedic perspective.

Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. The Art of Sandwiches (02:10)

• Best Sandwich?
  • Jim’s answer depends on his schedule:
    • "If you don’t have anything to do, then it’s a pastrami sandwich from Katz’s Deli.” (02:18 — Jim Gaffigan)
    • In Chicago: “Italian beef from Mr. Beef. Mr. Beef or Lumon Lattice, you know, I love them all.” (02:30 — Jim Gaffigan)
    • On toppings: “Hot and wet. Yeah, hot and wet. I mean, it’s messy.” (02:49 — Jim Gaffigan)
  • Colbert notes the inertia caused by a heavy sandwich: “No one’s ever, like, eaten a pastrami sandwich and done anything.” (02:57 — Jim Gaffigan)

2. First Concert: Trials and Mishaps (03:13)

• Jim’s First Concert: James Taylor at age 16.
  • Lost his license trying unsuccessfully to buy alcohol (03:16–04:53).
  • The kicker: His license was later returned by a James Taylor (no relation)—a twist ending Jim immediately downplays as uninteresting.
    • “There was a fantastic buildup with a twist ending that in no way paid off.” (04:31 — Stephen Colbert)
    • “I never said it was interesting…” (04:34 — Jim Gaffigan)

3. Scariest Animal (06:34)

• “A drunk New York Rangers fan.” (06:38 — Jim Gaffigan)
  • On running into them: “If you’re walking around Penn Station and they lost or won, neither one’s that good.” (06:48 — Jim Gaffigan)

4. Apples vs. Oranges Debate (07:02)

• Jim is adamant: “Obviously apples. Orange is way too much work and half the time not worth it. Apples all the way.” (07:05–07:07 — Jim Gaffigan)
• Both agree that apples triumph, especially as a vehicle for peanut butter.

5. Celebrity Autographs (07:18)

• As a child, Jim stood in line to get J.J. Walker’s autograph on a hat: “I stood in line...and he signed my cap. And it was amazing.” (07:30–07:55 — Jim Gaffigan)

6. Life After Death (08:01)

• Gaffigan offers a comedic dodge but gets more introspective:
  • “Thankfully, I’ll never have to find out…”
  • “We exist generally in absolute denial about our demise…” (08:13–08:42 — Jim Gaffigan)
  • Shares observations from his wife’s near-death experience and discusses Catholic guilt.

7. On Saints & Redemption (09:30)

• Jim admires that many saints had “scumbag” pasts:
  • “So many of them were just scumbags that ended up turning it around.” (09:37 — Jim Gaffigan)
• Colbert shares a fondness for St. Peter: “Denies Christ three times…and still gets the big job.” (10:11 — Stephen Colbert)

8. Action Movie Preferences (10:40)

• Jim jokingly names ‘Driving Miss Daisy’ as his favorite action movie (10:43).

9. Airplane Seats, Smells, Early Memories

• Window or Aisle?
  • “Window. And I do not feel any guilt when I get up and make that person feel bad to go to the bathroom.” (10:53 — Jim Gaffigan)
• Favorite Smell: “Bacon. It’s pretty perfect.” (11:07–11:14 — Jim Gaffigan)
• Least Favorite Smell:
  • “Some of the odors that come out of children, particularly teenage boys…unbelievable.” (12:39 — Jim Gaffigan)
• Earliest Memory:
  • “I was the youngest of six, and I remember there was a bunch of times where drinks were spilled on me when I was a little kid.” (13:09 — Jim Gaffigan)
  • Turns it into a metaphor for his life: “I remember drinks falling on me, which is really a metaphor for my life.” (13:51 — Jim Gaffigan)

10. Pets: Cats or Dogs? (13:52)

• “I love both, but dogs...oh, cats, dogs. Right.” (13:54 — Jim Gaffigan)
• Both default to dogs.

11. Music of a Lifetime (14:02)

• One Song for Life:
  • "Raglan Road," an Irish song about unrequited love, preferred for its sadness.
  • “My children hate that I love sad songs...” (14:11 — Jim Gaffigan)
  • Colbert recommends The Mountain Goats’ “Sax Rohmer #1” for more melancholy music (14:39).
• On Irish and Portuguese Love of Sad Songs:
  • Gaffigan describes “Fado,” the Portuguese tradition of sad song in restaurants—offering an unexpected cultural insight (15:34).

12. Five Words to Describe the Rest of Life (16:56)

• “Nobody works harder than Gaffigan.” (16:56 — Jim Gaffigan)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On sandwich consequences:
  • “No one’s ever, like, eaten a pastrami sandwich and done anything.” (02:57 — Jim Gaffigan)
• On teenage boys’ smells:
  • “Not only does it smell bad, they think it’s funny. That’s the problem.” (12:54 — Jim Gaffigan)
• On being young in a big family:
  • “I remember drinks falling on me, which is really a metaphor for my life.” (13:51 — Jim Gaffigan)
• On faith and guilt:
  • “I live with a lot of guilt. And I know that’s not necessarily the intellectual Catholic approach, but that’s where I am.” (09:11 — Jim Gaffigan)
• On the Irish and sadness:
  • “I love how sad the Irish get. It’s wonderful. How much they enjoy the sadness.” (16:33–16:39 — Stephen Colbert)
• Five words for the future:
  • “Nobody works harder than Gaffigan.” (16:56 — Jim Gaffigan)

Timestamps for Key Segments

• Favorite Sandwiches & Eating Habits: 02:10–03:13
• First Concert & License Story: 03:13–04:55
• Scariest Animal: 06:34–06:59
• Apples vs. Oranges: 07:02–07:07
• Autograph Memory: 07:18–07:55
• What Happens When We Die: 08:01–09:09
• On Saints and Redemption: 09:30–10:31
• Airplane Seats & Smells: 10:40–12:39
• Earliest Memory: 13:09–13:51
• Cats or Dogs: 13:52–13:58
• One Song for Life – Sad Music: 14:02–16:33
• Five-Word Life Philosophy: 16:56–17:02

This episode of the Colbert Questionert showcases Jim Gaffigan’s quick wit and reflective side. Through seemingly simple questions, both hosts reveal layers of personality, thoughtful introspection, and plenty of laughs—serving up a well-balanced mix of humor and humanity.