Jimmy Fallon (Extended) | I Don't Noem Her

Summary

The Late Show Pod Show with Stephen Colbert

Guest: Jimmy Fallon (Extended) | "I Don't Noem Her"

Air Date: March 6, 2026

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Episode Overview

This episode of The Late Show Pod Show brings together late-night legends Stephen Colbert and Jimmy Fallon for an extended, candid, and hilarious conversation. The main theme centers on the camaraderie and friendly rivalry between the two hosts, their shared comedic history, behind-the-scenes memories, and reflections on the current state of late night. In addition to playful banter, the episode dives into topical political satire (including the Kristi Noem news), memories from the writers’ strike podcast, and heartfelt moments of friendship, culminating in a musical farewell parody and an emotional gift exchange.

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Main Topics & Key Insights

1. Monologue: Kristi Noem's Firing & Political Satire

• Stephen Colbert opens with sharp wit about the rainy New York night and pivots to Kristi Noem's firing, providing biting comedic commentary mixed with absurdist flourishes.
  • “Her fault for standing so close to that gravel pit.” (01:47)
  • Mocks Trump’s official announcement and speculates about the odd “Shield of the Americas” title.
• Satirical Analysis of Political Figures:
  • Takes aim at Trump's personnel decisions (“it came down to either Mark Wayne Mullen or the limu emu…” (04:31)).
  • Lampoons congressional hearings and the rumor mill about Noem’s personal life:
    • “Secretary Noem, at any time during your tenure as director of Department of Homeland Security, have you had sexual relations with Corey Lewandowski?... I’m gonna put you down for yes, just for now.” (06:18)
  • Ridicules a Senate line of questioning referencing Noem’s alleged killing of pets and parodies it as a nursery rhyme.
• ICE Satire:
  • Jokes about ICE under Noem: “If she’s remembered for anything, it’s what a catastrophe ICE is under her leadership. They’re undisciplined, they’re ill trained, they’re violent.” (07:57)
  • Reports of ICE agents accidentally injuring themselves become a running slapstick gag.

2. Late-Night Legends Reunite: Colbert & Fallon’s Friendship

• On-Screen Rivalry, Off-Screen Friendship:
  Fallon describes Colbert as a “great friend,” despite being “heated rivals” in the late-night space. (14:10-14:27)
• Reminiscing About Shared Comedy Bits:
  • Remembering their early “Ben & Jerry’s” ice cream sketch that involved brain freeze hallucinations.
    • “We got brain freeze…and we hallucinated we were being attacked by a giant, murderous ice cream cone.” (15:15)
  • The “Tonight Show $100 bet” bit—Fallon’s debut, with celebrities paying off a bet, and Colbert dumping pennies down Fallon’s pants.
  • Shared Met Gala “supermodel pose” that led to them being named among the best-dressed.
    • “We did it. And we worked back to back. We worked it.” (17:35)

3. Behind the Scenes: Strike Force Five Podcast

• The hosts recall the pandemic writers’ strike, when late-night hosts united for the “Strike Force Five” podcast.
  • Fallon discusses prepping a disastrous but hilarious “Newlywed Game”–style segment featuring their spouses, which led to confusion and laughter.
    • “I texted them, I said, do you have any pet names for each other...Seth is like, what do you mean, pet? Like the name of our pet?” (19:13)
    • “I was just sweating because I knew the bit was going terrible. And I remember us all laughing so hard. I think John Oliver…I’ve never seen him laugh that hard. His face was like a tomato.” (19:42)

4. Meeting the Pope: An Unlikely Comedy Pilgrimage

• Colbert and Fallon recall being invited to the Vatican, along with other comedians (Conan, Gaffigan, Tig Notaro, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Chris Rock), to meet the Pope.
  • Fallon admits, “Because of you, I met the Pope. The actual [Pope]. I grew up, you know, as an altar boy…wanting to be a priest.” (20:33)
  • Colbert needles Fallon about his antics: “At 2:06, you got up in the aisle and started doing shtick…But the problem was, it was good.” (21:38-21:43)

5. A Heartfelt Gift & Musical Tribute

• Jimmy Fallon surprises Colbert with a custom painting of Stephen and his dog, gifted after collecting reference photos from Colbert’s wife.
  • “On the life preserver is the initials of everyone in your family.” (25:59)
• The episode crescendos with Fallon performing a “My Way”-style parody farewell song to Colbert, poking fun at show-business drama and awards envy:
  • “And now the end is near, and so you face the final curtain…you did it your way.” (27:05)
  • “But wait, before you go, can I please have one of your Emmys?” (27:54)

6. Mutual Admiration & The Craft of Late Night

• Colbert tries to pivot and focus on Fallon’s show, asking what Fallon enjoys most:
  • “I love meeting the guests. I love the audiences. I love the bands. I love music…” (26:34)
• Both reflect on the difficulties and pleasures of late-night television, underscoring their resilience, improvisational skills, and the importance of humor.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Colbert jabs at Noem:
  “Her face was incapable of showing it. Shouldn’t have touched her raven.” (02:15)
• Fallon & Colbert’s meta-comedy:
  “We both had Ben & Jerry’s flavors…I think we took a bite of ice cream and hallucinated.” (14:59–15:15)
• On late-night rivalry:
  Fallon: “Even though we are competitors, we’re close, but we’re competitors. I guess you’d say we have a heated rival.” (14:10–14:27)
• Meeting the Pope:
  Fallon: “Because of you, I met the Pope. The actual [Pope]…I grew up, you know, as an altar boy…Wanting to be a priest.” (20:33)
• On the disastrous Strike Force Five bit:
  Fallon: “I was running the thing from my little room…just sweating because I knew the bit was going terrible. And I remember us all laughing so hard. I think John Oliver, I’ve never seen him laugh that hard. His face was like a tomato.” (19:42)
• Heartfelt gift:
  Fallon: “On the life preserver is the initials of everyone in your family…because I know that mean a lot to you, bud.” (25:59)
• “Tonight, Lewis…” musical parody:
  Fallon (singing): “And now the end is near, and so you face the final curtain. But Trump, he made it clear he wants you gone; of that we’re certain…you did it your way.” (27:05)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Kristi Noem/Political Satire: 01:41–09:56
• ICE Satire Segment: 07:57–09:48
• Transition to Guest/Jimmy Fallon Introduction: 13:52–14:06
• Reminiscing Classic Sketches & History: 14:08–17:45
• Strike Force Five Memories: 17:49–20:09
• Meeting the Pope Story: 20:10–22:24
• Heartfelt Gift Exchange: 24:31–26:14
• Musical Farewell Parody ("My Way"): 26:51–28:39

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Tone & Style

• Playful and affectionate between two pros who share genuine warmth beneath the competitive jokes.
• Satirical, irreverent, and zany in the monologue and news segments, with a strong current of political lampooning.
• Nostalgic and sentimental when reflecting on shared milestones, culminating in goodwill and mutual admiration.

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Summary for Non-Listeners

In this uproarious and heartfelt episode, Stephen Colbert and Jimmy Fallon—two giants of late-night—mix inside jokes, sharp political satire, and warm reminiscence. From lampooning Kristi Noem's political downfall to hilariously dissecting their own history of on-air antics and strike-inspired podcasting, the episode underscores the unique fraternal bond of the late-night world. Fallon’s touching tribute (complete with a custom portrait and a parody of “My Way”) brings the episode to a sentimental close, reminding audiences of the human connections beneath the stage lights and studio laughter.

Transcript

[Commercial Narrator]

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[Stephen Colbert]

Thank you all and all welcome, welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to the Late Show. I'm your host, Stephen Colbert, ladies and gentlemen. Well, it is a rainy night here in New York. Okay, enough of that. Let's talk about Kristi Noem getting fired.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Yeah, she's out.

[Stephen Colbert]

She's gone. Her fault for standing so close to that gravel pit. It's too soon to know exactly why Kristi Noem is gone. Before we find out any more information about what happened, I just want to say with absolute certainty, she is a domestic terrorist who deserves to go to Gitmo. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I am being told that is not true. But you know what? I acted on the information we had at the time. The news came. The news came. News came as no surprise to Noem, or if it did, her face was incapable of Showing it. Trump made the announcement as usual on social media, first saying he was nominating a new head of dhs than adding the current secretary. Kristi Noem, who has served us well, will be moving to be special envoy for the Shield of the Americas, our new security initiative in the Western Hemisphere. Sounds like someone's about to become the FIFA Secretary of Homeland Security. Well, that's pretty. That sounds pretty, pretty up there. Yeah. Well, at least Noem can fall back on all her other jobs. Cowboy, soldier, and village crone who tells you exactly when you'll die. Shouldn't have touched her. Raven Noem didn't seem to have a lot of fans in the administration. When reached for comment about her getting kicked to the curb, one White House insider simply said, hallelujah.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Is it good?

[Commercial Narrator]

Is that good?

[Stephen Colbert]

It's a bit of a tell when your co workers celebrate your firing. Hey, Shana, we know it's your last day, so we got you a sheet cake. I know it looks like a regular cake, but I promise you, you'll taste the sheet. Trump's choice to replace Noem is Senator Mark Wayne Mullen. But why? You don't know anything about him. Save it later for one. You can enjoy it. But why Mark Wayne and why Mark now? Well, it's just as dumb as you could possibly imagine. Insiders say that Trump loves watching Senator Mullen on tv. Yeah, apparently it came down to either Mark Wayne Mullen or the limu emu who, admittedly would have worked hard to protect our liberty. Bibberdy Noam did not look good. Looks very good.

[Commercial Narrator]

Wow.

[Stephen Colbert]

Noem did not look great on the TV this week. She testified. Was it the Senate first? She testified in the Senate and was asked by Louisiana Senator Kennedy about a series of extremely expensive TV ads featuring her, and she passed the blame on to definitely the wrong guy. The President approved ahead of time. You spending $220 million running TV ads across the country in which you are featured prominently. Yes, sir. We went through the legal processes. Did it correct? British? Yes, he did. Mm. Yes. No. Don't ever blame anything on Donald Trump. Ladies and gentlemen, it has come to my attention that Kristi Noem is just days away from developing a nuclear weapon. We have no choice but to strike and strike hard. Over in the House, she also testified, and when she was there, things got a little bit spicy because, see, Noem and her top advisor, Corey Lewandowski, are rumored to be romantically boning. Now, California. See, that's better. That's nice.

[Announcer/Ad Voice]

Thank you.

[Stephen Colbert]

California Representative Sidney Kammlagar Dove asked Noem about that, but not exactly those words. Secretary Noem, at any time during your

[Commercial Narrator]

tenure as director of Department of Homeland

[Stephen Colbert]

Security, have you had sexual relations with Corey Lewandowski? Mr. Chairman, I am shocked that we're going down and peddling tabloid garbage in this committee today. I'm gonna put you down for yes, just for now. Just for now. Yes. There's a check. Check there. Oh, I don't have any paper.

[Jimmy Fallon]

I don't know what I was doing.

[Stephen Colbert]

The drama continued.

[Commercial Narrator]

Reclaiming my.

[Stephen Colbert]

Ma', am, one thing that I would tell you is that he is a special government employee who works for the White House. There are thousands of them in the federal government. Oh, my God. She's had sex with thousands of government employees. Wow. That. That is special. Back over in the Senate, Thom Tillis also questioned Noem's character by bringing up a painful memory from the past. Secretary, I read your book last week. Some of it distresses me. And I'll give you a good example of one that does. The passage where you talk about killing a dog that was 14 months old. You should know better. A 14 month old dog is basically a teenager in dog years. You decided to kill that dog. You killed a goat. You killed a goat to catch the dog. You killed the dog to catch the cat. You killed the cat to catch the bird. You killed the bird to catch the fly. I don't know why you swallowed the fly. Did you have sex with Corey Lewandowski? Answer the question, Senator.

[Commercial Narrator]

Very nice.

[Stephen Colbert]

That's very nice. Thank you. Thank you for the clapping. Nome will be completely forgotten. But if she's remembered for anything, it's. What a catastrophe ICE is under her leadership. They're undisciplined, they're ill trained, they're violent. And we're learning how they got that way because last week a whistleblower testified to Congress about ICE's minimal training. That whistleblower's name? Ryan Schwank. Sir, a grateful nation Schwanks you for your Schwervis. But sometimes ICE is also a little bit funny. According to a recent report, ICE agents keep accidentally shooting themselves. Just to be clear, everyone's okay and I'm not gonna laugh at it. Instead, I'll laugh at this now. Never gets old. Never gets old. On a loop. Right on a loop. Age cannot wither nor customs stale. Reportedly, the agents in question accidentally shot themselves in the leg during routine training exercises. That exercise how not to shoot yourself in the leg. It's some guns. It's some with guns. It's not all guns because there was also an accidental taser discharge inside an ICE office, which led former ICE officials to explain that accidental discharges are not uncommon and often involve experienced agents rather than new hires. Oh, okay. Is this true? I'm told we have a recording of one of those officials talking to reporters.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Oh, yeah. These accidental discharges happen all the time. Ah, my legs. Ah, my balls.

[Stephen Colbert]

Hey, Gary, you ok? My leg.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Oh, Gary's balls.

[Stephen Colbert]

You know, poor Gary. You know, you know folks, you know which cabinet member I hope Trump fires next? All of them. But if I had to pick one. Clean slate. Sweep it. But if I had to pick one, it would be HHS Secretary RFK Jr. And that might happen. Alright, that's nice. Some RFK Jr fans here tonight. And that might happen because Jr just pissed off the wrong people. Bobby's been peddling his maha madness and he said he wants Dunkin Donuts to prove drinking its iced coffee is safe. Who cares if it's safe? If I wanted a safe morning beverage, I'd drink tea. You know its slogan, Tea, water that makes you thirsty. Recently, there is that. Recently Mr. Junior was at a rally in Texas when he said this. We're gonna ask Dunkin Donuts and Starbucks show us the safety data that show that it's okay for a teenage girl drinking iced coffee with 115 grams of sugar in it. Okay? And I'm asking you to show me the safety data that shows it's okay for anyone to question anything a teenage girl is doing. How was your day, sweetie? Hey, it's dad. Hey, it's dad. How was your day, sweetie? Oh, I'm sorry. You're pointing at your headphones and walking away. Oh, and you need money. Okay. And the car keys. Okay, we'll just be home whenever you think is good. Don't hate me. Do you want my Dunkin? This criticism of Duncan is not playing well in New England because Dunkin was founded in 1950 in Massachusetts and is beloved by Bostonians like Ben Affleck. And in fact, we actually acquired a photo of Ben Affleck when he heard the news. Yeah, even. Even Massachusetts Governor Maura Healey is getting involved. She responded to RFK Jr. S threat posting. Come and take it. Yes. Powerful, powerful image. Strong. Reminds me of the immortal words of great Bostonian Paul Revere. What'd you frickin say about my sister? We got a great show for you tonight coming up. Jimmy Fallon. Guys, it's no use putting it off. The best time for an underwear refresh is now Tommy John underwear is designed for a perfect fit that stays put all day. They're zero chafe thanks to four times more stretch than competing brands and their innovative horizontal quickdraw fly is a game changer. With over 30 million pairs sold. There are thousands of men out there more comfortable than you. Don't settle for less. Go to tommyjohn.com today for 25% off your first order with code comfort. That's tommyjohn.com, code comfort. Tommy John comfort perfected. Ryan Reynolds here from Mint Mobile. I don't know if you knew this, but anyone can get the same Premium Wireless for $15 a month plan that I've been enjoying. It's not just for celebrities. So do like I did and and have one of your assistant's assistants switch you to Mint Mobile today. I'm told it's super easy to [e-mail]

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[Stephen Colbert]

Friends My first guest tonight is an old friend and one of the top jimmies in late night. Please welcome to the Late show James Thomas Fallon.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Thank you for having me.

[Stephen Colbert]

Hey, it is so good to see you.

[Jimmy Fallon]

You've been such a great friend to me. This is true. And even though we are competitors, we're close, but we're competitors. I guess you'd say we have a heated rival.

[Stephen Colbert]

Well, it's nice to finally have you as a guest, you know, because the thing is that it's not just that it's nice to talk to you, which of course, it always is. You're a firecracker. But I know how hard it is to do anything else on show day. Like you had to move your taping time to be here. I didn't do anything for you.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Come on, bud. This is it. Really. Honestly, I've known you for a long time.

[Stephen Colbert]

Yeah, since before the show. Since back in the day.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Yeah, we got bits when you were on Colbert.

[Stephen Colbert]

Yeah, we did. Here's the first bit we ever. I think this is the first time we ever played. Do you remember? What does this bring back?

[Jimmy Fallon]

This one. We both had Ben and Jerry's flavors.

[Stephen Colbert]

I had a Ben and Jerry's flavor and then you got a Ben and Jerry's flavor like it happened in the store.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Oh, don't I know that. Yes. Thank you, buddy.

[Stephen Colbert]

Do you remember what this was? Yes.

[Jimmy Fallon]

I think we took a bite of Ice cream. And hallucinated.

[Stephen Colbert]

We got brain freeze. Cause we tasted each other's ice cream and tried to bury the hatchet. And we got brain freeze. And we hallucinated that we were being attacked by a giant, murderous ice cream cone. And then Ben and Jerry show up

[Jimmy Fallon]

floating in a cloud.

[Stephen Colbert]

On a cloud.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Floating in a cloud.

[Stephen Colbert]

What I remember is that originally in the script, Ben and Jerry came in with AK47s and murdered the ice cream cone. We mended the script, right? And they showed up and goes, we're not doing carry guns. Yeah.

[Jimmy Fallon]

We're not doing that.

[Stephen Colbert]

Yeah.

[Jimmy Fallon]

What was the bit we did when we were wishing well? Do you remember that one?

[Stephen Colbert]

We did coins. We did do coins. Do you remember this? This is your first night. This is his first night at the Tonight Show. It was incredible. This was an honor to be invited to. Come on. It was. Tell everybody.

[Jimmy Fallon]

This is the.

[Stephen Colbert]

Tell what the setup was to this.

[Announcer/Ad Voice]

All right.

[Jimmy Fallon]

So the setup for this was that I just had gotten the Tonight Show. So I said to the camera, I said, so to my friend who told me, I can never do this. You owe me a hundred bucks. And then one at a time, every celebrity in the world came out and threw a hundred bucks on my desk.

[Stephen Colbert]

Yes.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Robert De Niro. Sarah Jessica Parker. Lady Gaga.

[Stephen Colbert]

Joan Rivers.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Joan Rivers.

[Stephen Colbert]

By the way, I've never been back to the Tonight Show.

[Jimmy Fallon]

It was her first Tonight show since Johnny Carson, and she was crying.

[Stephen Colbert]

Wow.

[Jimmy Fallon]

She hugged me and cried.

[Stephen Colbert]

I was right behind Lady Gaga. Oh, yeah. Who was wearing a thong that night?

[Jimmy Fallon]

There you go. She was wearing a thong. But you came out. Everyone had a $100 bill.

[Stephen Colbert]

And I came out with $100 in pennies.

[Jimmy Fallon]

And you dumped it down my trousers.

[Stephen Colbert]

Yes. And down your neck.

[Jimmy Fallon]

And down my neck. And I remember this because our guest that night was you two. And they were gonna perform at nighttime

[Stephen Colbert]

on the roof of Toy Rock. Amazing.

[Jimmy Fallon]

And so I go, great. It's gonna be fun. And then Lauren was there, and Lauren goes, I think you should do it at dusk. You should do it now. Cause the sun's going down in New York. It's a beautiful shot. You should do it now. I go, oh, okay, we gotta run up. And I remember running to the elevator bank, and there's pennies going everywhere. And everyone's like, where are all these pennies? I go, stephen Colbert poured them down my underpants. They're like, what? It's going up. I'll never forget it. I had pennies everywhere. Yeah. And it was good luck for me.

[Stephen Colbert]

Sure. Exactly. Here we are working it at the Met Gala. Look at that.

[Jimmy Fallon]

No, I remember that. You were there with your beautiful wife Evie.

[Stephen Colbert]

Yeah.

[Jimmy Fallon]

And I was there solo. And you guys went up the stairs and did your photos. And then I grabbed you and goes, stephen, should we do some dumb photos and supermodel pose together?

[Stephen Colbert]

And I said, let's work it.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Let's go. And we did it. And we worked back to back. We worked it.

[Stephen Colbert]

This photo got us named, like, two of the best dressed that night.

[Jimmy Fallon]

We did, actually, by the way, we've done a lot of good bits.

[Stephen Colbert]

And of course, this right here, Strike Force Five.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Oh, my God.

[Stephen Colbert]

One of our greatest achievements right there, I guess during the strike.

[Jimmy Fallon]

That was great. I still get people tell me on the street, that's the funniest they've ever laughed. And people loved it so much. Cause that was the time when we needed to laugh.

[Announcer/Ad Voice]

Sure.

[Jimmy Fallon]

And we weren't allowed.

[Stephen Colbert]

And the greatest episode was the one that you had. Because we would trade off who would host and who would organize, like, what we were gonna do. And also had to make the commercials. Cause we were doing commercials for, like, Diageo liquor and stuff. I was always raising money for the. For the writers.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Yeah, for the writers. But then I. So my show was the Newlywed, like, a Newlywed Game. So I wanted to play a Newlywed

[Stephen Colbert]

Game with Strike Force Wives.

[Jimmy Fallon]

The Strike Force Wives. And so I texted all of the wives of the hosts, and I asked them these questions. And I thought it was just, this is gonna work great. Turns out I was wrong.

[Stephen Colbert]

Oh, it ended up working out great.

[Jimmy Fallon]

It was a little confusing. A lot of people didn't really understand where I was, the questions I was asking.

[Stephen Colbert]

Cause you asked us questions. Sometimes they did not include subject or verbs. And then we found out that the things that you asked our wives, the answers that they gave you were not the answers you told us that they had said no. You started a lot of fights after that.

[Jimmy Fallon]

I remember. I mean, I thought it was obvious. I think one of my questions. Well, I texted them. I didn't talk to the wives. I texted them, I said, do you have any pet names for each other?

[Stephen Colbert]

Right.

[Jimmy Fallon]

And no one understood that. And so Seth is like, what do you mean, pet? Like a name of our pet.

[Stephen Colbert]

I go, no. I go, no.

[Jimmy Fallon]

He goes, what did my wife write?

[Stephen Colbert]

I go, she put Frisbee, which was their dog's name.

[Jimmy Fallon]

I don't even know they have a dog. I don't know. What if they call each other Frisbee at home. And that's a cute name. It was a disaster.

[Stephen Colbert]

That would be. Yeah. Evie sometimes calls me Frisbee, and I call her Wham.

[Jimmy Fallon]

O. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Stephen Colbert]

Oh, my God.

[Jimmy Fallon]

It went south. And honestly. And I was looking. I was running the thing from my little room where I was doing it, and I was just sweating because I knew the bit was going terrible. And I go, there's no way to end this. And it's just gonna get worse and worse. And I remember us all laughing so hard. I think John Oliver, I've never seen him laugh that hard. His face was like a tomato. So red.

[Stephen Colbert]

Yes.

[Jimmy Fallon]

We probably have videos.

[Stephen Colbert]

He's extremely pale. It's hard to get any color in that face. I can't leave this. I know. We can't be here all night. You got another show to do. Two show Thursdays.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Yeah.

[Stephen Colbert]

Okay. So we also. This is one of the craziest pictures I've ever seen. This is you and me, and this is. We're in the Apostolic palace about to meet the Pope.

[Jimmy Fallon]

That's a great photo of me.

[Stephen Colbert]

Yeah. Yeah. Honestly, Red eye.

[Jimmy Fallon]

I will never forget this. This is the greatest thing. Because of you, I met the Pope.

[Stephen Colbert]

Right.

[Jimmy Fallon]

The actual.

[Stephen Colbert]

I got asked by someone from the De Castry for culture and education, you know, the dicastery. We know what that is. And would you put together a list? And I said, you want to go? And you were like, yeah.

[Jimmy Fallon]

I couldn't believe it. I grew up, you know, as an altar boy. Yeah. Wanting to be a priest. Sure I did. And you were rejected or just. No, I kind of got. I got into girls and stuff. But no, I was really good at. I just loved it. I loved the whole idea of it. And just to meet the Pope, that just doesn't come up.

[Stephen Colbert]

Right.

[Jimmy Fallon]

But, you know.

[Stephen Colbert]

But you took. You took it solemnly.

[Jimmy Fallon]

I loved it. Of course I did. But, I mean, I.

[Stephen Colbert]

No, you didn't. I was there. You did not take it solemnly. You were. You got a little mad. It was like, too. I'm mad. I was just like, you know, I was there with my sister.

[Jimmy Fallon]

I brought my sister.

[Stephen Colbert]

Okay.

[Jimmy Fallon]

How Irish Catholic is that?

[Stephen Colbert]

Exactly? And so we're waiting to go with all these other comedians that we really admire and Gaffigan. Gaffigan and Conan and Julia, Louis Dreyfus and Tig and all that grad there, and Chris Rock and the Pope's gonna walk in at any moment. It was later there. My phone said it was like 2:08 when he walked in, like, AM. Cause it's, you know, the time difference.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Yeah, yeah.

[Stephen Colbert]

And at 2:06, you got up in the aisle and started doing shtick.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Yeah.

[Stephen Colbert]

But the problem was, it was good.

[Jimmy Fallon]

I told everyone to leave. I go, he's not coming. He's just canceled. Everyone leave.

[Stephen Colbert]

Yes.

[Jimmy Fallon]

And you were looking at me.

[Stephen Colbert]

You're like, jimmy, do you remember what I texted you? I texted you at 2:06. I took a screen grab today, gave it to my producer. I sent you four texts in a row.

[Jimmy Fallon]

I couldn't help it. I couldn't help, when are we going to be at the Vatican in front of the Pope?

[Stephen Colbert]

Here's the thing. In retrospect, you did the right thing. I really do. No, no, no. Anyway, we have to take a quick break. We'll be right back with more Jimmy Fallon, everybody.

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[Stephen Colbert]

We're back with the star of the Tonight Show, Jimmy Fallon.

[Jimmy Fallon]

You know, when I have a big memory in my Life. There's this artist named Barrett Boisson who makes these beautiful paintings. And I was thinking of you and wanted to commemorate what you've done and everything. We've been great friends for a long time, and so I wanted to have a painting made for you. And this is real. I texted your wife again, Evie. I'm sorry to bother her. And I said, I know how much you love your family and you love Evie. I go, is there a great photo of you and the family that Stephen would like as a portrait or a painting? And so she sent me. I'm not kidding. Probably 150 photos. I have more photos of you on my phone than probably you have on your phone. But then she sent me one photo. It was just you and your dog. Is it Benny?

[Stephen Colbert]

Benny.

[Jimmy Fallon]

It was you and Benny on a boat. Just going out on this little boat. And you have. I brought the real photo.

[Stephen Colbert]

Cruiser gave me this right there.

[Jimmy Fallon]

And you have the American flag flying there. Do you see that? And that just kind of got me right there. And so. Because I just thought it was so kind of you and very innocent. And so I actually had this painting made. Here it is. This is from. This is you.

[Stephen Colbert]

Oh, and your dog. That's beautiful.

[Jimmy Fallon]

That's you and your dog. That's you. And your American slice is freedom. Where you're going is unknown. And then.

[Stephen Colbert]

Oh, buddy, that's great.

[Jimmy Fallon]

On the life preserver is the initials of everyone in your family.

[Stephen Colbert]

Aw.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Because I know that mean a lot to you, bud. So I don't know where you hang that, but I just wanted to give you something.

[Stephen Colbert]

I'm gonna hang this from my rearview mirror. Alyssa, thank you.

[Jimmy Fallon]

This is beautiful. I'm pleased.

[Announcer/Ad Voice]

Please, please.

[Stephen Colbert]

Thank you.

[Jimmy Fallon]

I love you.

[Stephen Colbert]

Come on. Well, listen, we've been talking about my show all night, and I. And I. And I. I really want to talk about your show.

[Jimmy Fallon]

You don't.

[Stephen Colbert]

What? No, I mean, it's like.

[Announcer/Ad Voice]

It's like.

[Stephen Colbert]

It's rare that we don't get a chance to talk to somebody else who does this that often. And I just. What's the favorite thing you do to be doing the show?

[Jimmy Fallon]

I mean, I love meeting the guests. I love the audiences. I love the bands. I love music.

[Stephen Colbert]

We do a lot of great band.

[Jimmy Fallon]

We do a lot of music on our show. I. I like to sing a lot, and I.

[Stephen Colbert]

But I wouldn't.

[Jimmy Fallon]

I wouldn't do that tonight.

[Stephen Colbert]

Are you sure?

[Jimmy Fallon]

Oh, no.

[Stephen Colbert]

Are you

[Jimmy Fallon]

tonight, Lewis? And now the end is near. And so you face the final curtain. But Trump, he made it clear he wants you gone? Of that we're certain? You've been a gracious host? We've loved you since the old rapport days? And more, much more than this? You did it your

[Stephen Colbert]

way? Cbs,

[Jimmy Fallon]

they said you're through? And now it's down to just two jimmies? But wait, before you go, can I please have one of your Emmys? Oh, now what will you do? Dance with the stars or move to Norway? In 28, you'd have our vote. You did it your

[Stephen Colbert]

way, Jimmy Fallon, the Tonight Show. Thank you for listening to the late show pod show with Stephen Colbert. Just one more thing. If you want to see more of me, come to The Late Show YouTube channel for more clips and exclusives.

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[Stephen Colbert]

I'm really back. School Spirits returns. Why am I here?

[Jimmy Fallon]

Not dead, right?

[Stephen Colbert]

This place is an absolute death trap.

[Jimmy Fallon]

We need to get out of here now. School Spirits new season now streaming only on Paramount plus.