Josh Gad | Jack Squat - The Late Show Pod Show with Stephen Colbert

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Late Show Pod Show with Stephen Colbert – Episode Featuring Christian Pulisic

Release Date: January 15, 2025
Episode: Josh Gad | Jack Squat
Host: Stephen Colbert
Guest: Christian Pulisic

Introduction

In this episode of The Late Show Pod Show with Stephen Colbert, host Stephen Colbert engages in a heartfelt and candid conversation with guest Christian Pulisic, delving into personal struggles, resilience, and the power of storytelling. Throughout the episode, Colbert interweaves his signature humor and sharp commentary on current events, providing listeners with a blend of insightful dialogue and entertaining monologue.

Stephen Colbert's Opening Monologue

Trump's Inauguration and Village People Performance

Stephen Colbert opens the episode with a humorous yet critical take on the impending inauguration of Donald Trump. He jokes about the tension surrounding the event, likening it to a high-stakes James Bond scenario:

"It feels like we're all James Bond strapped to the table and the laser is slowly inching toward our crotch." [00:50]

Colbert highlights the unexpected decision for the Village People to perform at one of Trump's inaugural balls, noting the group's previous objections to Trump using their music:

"It's YMCAA is not gay. Where did that even come from?" [01:00]

DOJ's Report on Trump and January 6th

Shifting to political commentary, Colbert discusses the Department of Justice's Special Prosecutor Jack Smith's report on Trump's election interference:

"In it, Smith says if Donald Trump hadn't won the presidential election in November, the Justice Department would have had ample evidence to convict him at trial." [02:30]

He criticizes the Justice Department's regulations preventing the prosecution of a sitting president, emphasizing the need for equal accountability:

"A president should be bound by the same laws as everyone else. That's what makes them a president and not a king." [03:00]

Senate Confirmation Hearings for Secretary of Defense Nominee

Colbert humorously critiques the Senate hearings for Trump's Defense Secretary nominee, Mark Hegseth, highlighting the nominee's controversial past and personal failings:

"You are that man. That is devastating. That is the most devastating burn." [04:00]

Starbucks Bathroom Policy Changes

Transitioning to lighter topics, Colbert mocks Starbucks' new policy requiring customers to pay for bathroom use, poking fun at the company's leadership under new CEO Brian Nickel:

"Any amount of cake pops could ever remove the memory." [05:30]

Viral Coyote Clip in Chicago

Colbert narrates a viral video of a coyote found hiding in a Chicago grocery store, blending humor with commentary on wildlife behavior:

"The police officer is rooting around in the bottom of the produce section, pushing past the lettuce." [07:00]

He underscores the absurdity of the situation while praising the quick response of the local authorities.

Conversation with Christian Pulisic

Natural Disasters and Personal Loss

The conversation shifts to a more serious tone as Christian Pulisic discusses the recent natural disasters he witnessed, reflecting on their impact on his community:

"I saw fires everywhere I looked. It was surreal." [14:00]

Pulisic shares the emotional toll of seeing friends and acquaintances lose their homes, emphasizing the ongoing nature of the disaster:

"It's not over. No, it's not over. The Santa Ana winds continue to blow through." [14:25]

He commends the heroic efforts of firefighters, describing them as the true superheroes in these crises:

"If there are superheroes in this world, it's these firefighters. They are unbelievable." [14:35]

Supporting the Affected Community

Pulisic highlights the urgent need for resources and support for those affected, including families, pets, and first responders:

"Families, pets, firefighters. Everybody needs something right now." [14:50]

He urges listeners to donate and assists by sharing resources on his social media platforms.

Christian Pulisic's Memoir: "In Gad We Trust"

Colbert introduces Pulisic's memoir, "In Gad We Trust. A Tell Some," exploring Pulisic's personal journey and the challenges he's faced:

"This is the first time I've written a memoir." [15:42]

Reconnecting with His Father

A poignant moment arises as Pulisic recounts reuniting with his estranged father after 20 years. He describes the emotional encounter following a performance of his show "Gutenberg the Musical":

"We talked about a lot of stuff and resolved a lot of stuff. It was… I was at peace." [19:51]

Pulisic reflects on using comedy as a coping mechanism during his childhood to alleviate his mother's depression, illustrating the transformative power of humor:

"I found that the only way I could take her misery away was by making her laugh." [16:06]

Early Career Struggles and Surreal Experiences in Los Angeles

Pulisic shares anecdotes from his early career in Los Angeles, including an unexpected meeting with Jeff Goldblum:

"Standing in a bathrobe is Jeff Goldblum. I thought I was at the wrong house. I was not at the wrong house." [22:07]

He humorously recounts an acting exercise with Goldblum and a chance encounter with Robert Downey Jr. at a coffee shop, highlighting the unpredictability of life in Hollywood.

Experiences as Olaf from Frozen

讨论转向Pulisic饰演《冰雪奇缘》中的Olaf，他分享了扮演该角色带来的独特挑战和有趣经历：

"I'll get asked by random people, by, like, very high profile people, to do voice messages as Olaf." [23:32]

他讲述了为萨沙·巴伦·科恩（Sacha Baron Cohen）制作多次语音消息的有趣经历：

"I did it four times before he was satisfied with the voice message." [23:27]

Conclusion

Throughout this episode, Stephen Colbert masterfully balances humor with heartfelt conversation, providing listeners with both entertainment and meaningful insights. Christian Pulisic's openness about his personal struggles and triumphs offers an inspiring narrative of resilience and the healing power of reconnecting with one's roots. Colbert's incisive monologue on current events further enriches the dialogue, making this episode a compelling listen for both fans of light-hearted banter and those seeking deeper reflections.

Notable Quotes:

"A president should be bound by the same laws as everyone else. That's what makes them a president and not a king." – Stephen Colbert [03:00]
"If there are superheroes in this world, it's these firefighters. They are unbelievable." – Christian Pulisic [14:35]
"I found that the only way I could take her misery away was by making her laugh." – Christian Pulisic [16:06]
"We talked about a lot of stuff and resolved a lot of stuff. It was… I was at peace." – Christian Pulisic [19:51]
"Standing in a bathrobe is Jeff Goldblum. I thought I was at the wrong house. I was not at the wrong house." – Christian Pulisic [22:07]

This comprehensive summary encapsulates the essence of the episode, highlighting key discussions, emotional narratives, and the interplay between humor and serious commentary that defines The Late Show Pod Show with Stephen Colbert.

Transcript

Stephen Colbert (0:01)

I don't want to get promoted. I want to stay charmingly insubordinate. I'm okay.

Josh Gad (0:06)

Now streaming.

Stephen Colbert (0:07)

Let's do this. Am I catching it?

Josh Gad (0:12)

Prepare for an adventure.

Stephen Colbert (0:14)

I know these guys. They're super nice. Hey, what's up, my man?

Josh Gad (0:18)

Five seasons in the making.

Stephen Colbert (0:20)

Woo.

Christian Pulisic (0:21)

Damn it.

Stephen Colbert (0:21)

This is terrible. This keeps getting cooler by the second.

Josh Gad (0:26)

Star Trek lower decks Final season now streaming in all new All Access Paramount original docuseries. Christopolisic is captain of the U.S. national team.

Christian Pulisic (0:36)

Take a sneak peek into my trailer.

Josh Gad (0:38)

Following America's Captain Soccer brings out a different character in me. On his quest for global victory, Captain.

Stephen Colbert (0:44)

America has taken his team on his shoulders.

Josh Gad (0:46)

Balancing fame, Christian's never wanted the spotlight and the game.

Stephen Colbert (0:50)

These are the goals that create legends.

Josh Gad (0:52)

I want to be the best player in the world. Pulisic presented by Michelob Ultra new docu series now streaming exclusively on Paramount Plus.

Stephen Colbert (1:05)

Welcome. Welcome to the Late Show. I'm your host, Stephen Colbert. Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for that burst of joy. I ovulated where you had to be here. But we're less than a week away from Trump's inauguration and. I know, I know, I know, I know. As much as I'm not looking forward to it, waiting for it is just so tense. It feels like we're all James Bond strapped to the table and the laser is slowly inching toward our crotch. And it's like, enough about your evil plot to conquer Greenland. Just zap America's jump off. Already we're learning more about what the inauguration festivities will look like, because we now know that the Village People will perform at one of Trump's inaugural balls, leading many to ask why? It's a big part, right? This is a big change of heart for the Village People, given that in 2020, they demanded Trump stop using their music, which is understandable, considering that every time he played it, he did the wrong dance. It's ymca, not Milk the gorillas. Evidently. Evidently. They're mammals. They're mammals. Evidently, the band is trying to go in a new direction, and that direction is toward money, because a few weeks ago. A few weeks ago, lead singer Victor Willis posted that he will sue every news organization that falsely refers to YMCA as. As a gay anthem. This must stop, because it is damaging to the song. Yes, for once and for all, ladies and gentlemen, YMCAA is not gay. Where did that even come from? It's off the famously straight, actual Village People album Cruisin'packed, with hetero hits like Hot Cop, My Roommate, and Simply I'm A cruiser. In anticipation of the inauguration, high anti scale fencing is being placed around the Capitol. It's the most fencing ever put up for inauguration. 30 miles. You know what? I owe him an apology. He did build the wall. You know what? It's only fair. I'm a big enough man now. For those of you who have forgotten why the fencing might be necessary, this morning, the DOJ released Special Prosecutor Jack Smith's final report on Trump's January 6th election interference. Boom. When people find out what Trump did, his chances of being re elected two months ago are going to be pretty slim. Okay. The report has a bold claim. In it, Smith says if Donald Trump hadn't won the presidential election in November, the Justice Department would have had ample evidence to convict him at trial. It's all true, and you can see it dramatized in the new Marvel series. What, if anything, mattered anymore? But despite. Despite enough evidence for a conviction, Smith can't move ahead with his case because Justice Department regulations prohibit the prosecution of a sitting president, which is obviously insane. A president should be bound by the same laws as everyone else. That's what makes them. Yes, thank you. Thank you, Citize. That's what makes them a president and not a king. That and the lack of inbreeding. Oh, no. I'm sorry. Spoke too soon. Unfortunately, this may be the last we hear from the special counsel. Because over the weekend, Jack Smith resigned. Now, despite the threats, he can't go into witness protection because no one can think of a more generic name than Jack Smith. Another looming sign of the Trump administration is that today the Senate held confirmation hearings for Secretary of defense nominee and male stripper, asking if you want to see his Yankee Doodle Pete. Hegseth. Now, you might remember Hegseth from his rather thin dossier of qualifications to run the most powerful military and single largest workforce in the world. There's his stint as co host of Fox and Friends weekends. And the allegations of excessive drinking after work and at work, otherwise known as always. Hegsest's hearing today was mostly him bobbing and weaving to avoid admitting things we already know about him. Like his statement that female service members shouldn't have combat roles, as well as horrific allegations of sexual assault and the fact that his own mom wrote him a letter that read in part, I have no respect for any man that belittles, lies, cheats, sleeps around and uses women for his own power and ego. You are that man. That is devastating. That is the most devastating burn. Oh, you think you can run the military? That's not what Your mom said last night. Yeah, yeah, she. Yeah. Seriously, she dropped off this letter. It's pretty upsetting. That mother's letter led to a fiery exchange with Democratic Senator Tim Kaine. So Republican Senator Mark Wayne Mullen jumped in and went after Kaine. How many senators have showed up drunk to vote at night? And then how many senators do you know have got a divorce before cheating on their wives? Did you ask them to step down? No, but it's for show. And you want to sit there and say that he's not qualified? Give me a joke. I got one. A drunk, a cheating husband, and an accused sexual predator walk into a bar, and the bartender says, table for one, Mr. Hegseth? Thank you. Thank you. 2025 is bringing a lot of difficult changes to the country that we all love. For instance, at the end of the month, Starbucks will start making customers pay if they want to use the bathroom. What do you mean start making them pay? Whenever you go into a Starbucks bathroom, you pay a heavy price. No amount of cake pops could ever remove the memory. The rule changes come for new Starbucks CEO and man with venti triple shot jaw, Brian Nickel. Nickel is an experienced fast casual foodtrepreneur because he was formerly Chipotle's CEO. Clearly, Nickel has one passion in business. Any place people are desperate for a bathroom. Starbucks. They're also rolling out other changes, including a ban on outside alcohol. No booze. Are you suggesting I go into the bathroom at Starbucks sober? But you know what? Enough about all this nonsense. The big story today is this viral clip from a Chicago grocery store. Take a look. Okay. The police officer is rooting around in the bottom of the produce section, pushing past the lettuce. And. Okay, he gets his hand on something. There. We see something furry. Is it a rat? Like a really big rat? Nope, it's a coyote. That is crazy. They sell salad in Chicago. I thought it was just all pork, but can we take a moment to appreciate the brave cop in the background who responded to the call of duty with a broom and a dustpan? He is completely ready in case that coyote knocked over an open box of Cheerios. So why exactly was there a coyote hiding behind the arugula? Well, let's go to our sister station, wbbm, Chicago's coyote news leader. I spoke with the Chicago Animal Care and Control, and they tell me that January through March is mating season for coyotes. So they're more active and territorial. They're more territorial for mating season. So that means that coyote thinks ruling over an Aldi will help him pick up the ladies. Hey, girl, you want to get out of this forest preserve and go back to my place? Not to brag, but it's a discount grocery store that also inexplicably sells clothes. Not that we're gonna need em. The men's do they howl? Do coyotes howl? Oh, coyote. Ooh. Men's football playoffs are in full swing and you can catch all the action right here on cbs, home of the AFC championship. Then stick around after the game for a brand new late show. Tune in whether you enjoy comedy talk or are just too deep in a nacho coma to reach the remote. There was a big viral moment this past Sunday during the Eagles packers wild card game when Eagles Pro Bowler receiver A.J. brown sat on the sidelines and took out a book. Seems unusual, but literature is a big part of football. All right, boys, bring it in. All right, Smith, I want you to run a five yard out, then turn, grab a glass of chardonnay and crack open Gabriel Garcia Marquez's masterwork, One Hundred Years of Solitude. Okay, Brown wants you to hit the sideline. Eat, Pray, love, Inner journey on three. Let's go. The book. Okay, who's got Salinger? Who's covering Salinger? The book Brown reading was inner Train your mind for extraordinary performance and the best possible life. And in the two days since Brown was seen reading the book, it hit number one on Amazon's best seller list. Of course, the NFL can make any author's dream come true. Explains why one of the vendors at last weekend's Bills game was Malcolm Gladwell. We got a great show for you tonight.