Transcript
Paramount Ads Manager (0:00)
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Stephen Colbert (0:28)
The 2025 Ford Explorer ST has a 400 horsepower engine. It's up to you what you do with that power. The 2025 Ford Explorer, it's all in the name horsepower and torque ratings based on Premium fuel per SAE J1349 standard. Your results may vary. Please have a seat, my friends. Welcome one and all to the Late Show. I'm your host, Stephen Colbert, and I certainly hope. Well, you're already there. It sounds like you're all in a holly jolly. And I'm glad to hear it because we're counting down to everyone's favorite holiday, Jack in the Box's annual fast food fest, the 24 Days of Jackmas. Personally, I try to keep Jackmas in my heart all year round and then clear it from my browser history. Now get your mind out of the gutter because again, the 24 Days of Jackmas is nothing more than a seasonal holiday deal. At Jack in the Box. You know their slogan. If you're going to jack, at least do it in the Box now. It's going to be okay. It's going to be okay. It's all going to be okay. If you want to join the Jackmas festivities, just hop on the Jack app, which is not only the Jack in the Box phone app, but also an insult you hear at Red Sox games. Go back to New York, you fricking Jack. Once you've jacked into the Jack app, if you want to get in on Jackmas, you must first join the Jackpack. Remember, in the Jack pack, no eye contact and watch your back because the Jackpack has a knack for the sack tap. Now another you're welcome, Mary Jack. Mary Jackness, everybody. Another corporate holiday cheer. Spotify is releasing its annual wrapped playlists where they recap your streaming habits for the year. And once again, the number one most streamed artist globally was Taylor Swift. That's no surprise. That's no surprise. She's topping every list at this point. She was just named number one kitchen tile installer in the Tri state area. Taylor's version. For the first time, Spotify included audiobooks and the number one most streamed title is the hit fantasy romance A Court of Thorns and Roses. Now, if you don't know what that is, it's apparently a super erotic fantasy book series about fairies. And if you do know what it is, get out of the bathtub. You're all pruney and you forgot to pick up the kids from school. Mary Jackmas. But you better get some free Jack in the box. What else? Oh, the big thing everyone's talking about is rap's new feature, your musical evolution, which gives your music taste some weird labels like Pink Pilates, Princess Roller skate pop and after hours football rap and Cinnamon Softcore Art Deco. Okay, sounds fun. Let's see what I got this year. Here you go. Huh? This can't be right. I got Church dad, no ass reggaeton. Is that a thing? Is that a thing? Is that a. There you go. Thank you, sir. We keep learning bad stuff about Trump's Secretary of defense nominee and co worker about to Dutch oven this elevator. Keith Hegseth, the latest allegation. You're a little late on the booing. The latest allegation is that at a 2016 Fox and Friends Christmas party, Hegseth reportedly caused a disturbance leading to a human resource department intervention. Ooh, human resource interventions are the worst. Pete, when you drink, it makes me feel like the company is legally liable. The hr. The hr. Some people have been to an HR intervention. The HR talking to clearly didn't work because soon after, Hegseth attended the wedding of a Fox News colleague where he reportedly got so drunk that he struggled to stay upright in a men's bathroom. And Friends asked a producer who was there to get him a ride home. Okay, finally, someone at Fox News who's responsible is what I would say if that sentence did not end with so he could make it to the set by 6am this man is clearly too drunk to stand. Quick, get him to a couch and point a camera at him. Hegseth tried to do damage control in a recent interview where he explained that in fact, he's the victim.
