The Late Show Pod Show with Stephen Colbert

Episode: Lady Gaga's Colbert Questionert | Donward Spiral

Date: December 2, 2025

Episode Overview

In this episode, Stephen Colbert welcomes superstar Lady Gaga for a revealing and lighthearted round of the "Colbert Questionnaire," exploring her tastes, memories, beliefs, and quirks. The show also features Colbert's signature comedic monologue, tackling current events, politics, and pop culture with wit and satire. The blend of comedy and authenticity makes for an engaging listen, offering both laughs and surprising insights from one of music’s biggest icons.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

Hilarious Banter & Pistachio Talk

Time: 01:05 – 03:09

• Stephen Colbert and Lady Gaga open the show with playful banter about Wonderful Pistachios, riffing on flavors and "nut meat."
• Gaga reveals her favorite pistachio flavor: “Sea salt and vinegar. It's delicious. I get them before the softball games.” (01:34)
• Colbert: “I didn't realize we'd achieved new pistachio technology.” (01:40)
• The pair’s chemistry shines as they escalate the nuttiness:
  • Gaga: “We're nut.” (03:08)
  • Colbert: “Nutty, nutty, nutty, nutty. Talk about, talk about, talk about nutty.” (03:09)

Colbert’s Monologue: Holiday Deals & Trump Satire

Time: 03:57 – 16:02

• Colbert delivers a razor-sharp monologue focusing on:
  • Trump’s holiday “deals”: Selling MAGA hat ornaments and calendars at higher prices, poking fun at absurd sales tactics.
    • “So Trump’s Black Friday deal is to charge you more. But wait, there’s less.” (04:51)
  • Satirical take on presidential scandals: A bit on poorly handled military actions (“kill them all” directive) and the stark contrast with children’s literature.
    • “Killing unarmed people floating in the ocean who are unable to fight is against the Uniform Code of Military Justice and all international law.” (11:13)
    • “Franklin is not a war criminal. That is Caillou. Get them straight.” (11:35)
  • Physical decline jokes: Trump’s lack of exercise, cognitive tests, and MRI confusion.
    • “Men in his age group also benefit from retiring. So. Can we write that prescription next?” (09:29)
• Signature musical parodies and a rapid-fire stream of punchlines keep the energy high.

The Colbert Questionnaire with Lady Gaga

Time: 16:02 – 22:11

Colbert sits down with Gaga for a revealing and often funny Q&A that goes beyond the surface.

Notable Questions & Gaga’s Answers (with Timestamps):

• What is the best sandwich?
  • Gaga: “An Italian sub, but also un sandwich en jambon et fromach, which is ham and butter and cheese on a baguette.” (16:49)
• First concert attended?
  • Gaga: “Jingle Ball... the Goo Goo Dolls played and they had snow on stage. I was losing my mind.” (17:12)
• Scariest animal?
  • Gaga: “I don’t like really large birds... like a big hawk. They just scare me.” (17:43)
• Apples or oranges?
  • Gaga: “I think oranges. Okay. You judged me.” (18:05)
  • Colbert teases her for snubbing “the Big Apple” as a native New Yorker.
• Autograph stories?
  • Gaga: “I ask fans to autograph their art that they give me.” (18:30)
• What happens when we die?
  • Gaga: “I think we all just vanish into each other. Like, the soul... is forever here in some way— you go from being in one place to being everywhere.” (18:48)
• Favorite action movie?
  • Gaga: “In the Line of Fire.” (19:30)
• Window or aisle seat?
  • Gaga: “Window. For the feeling of safety between someone and the wolf.” (19:40)
• Favorite smell?
  • Gaga: “Michael’s neck. I actually don’t like cologne.” (20:21)
• Earliest memory?
  • Gaga: “My mom and dad giving me a toy... like a little plastic kitchen. I remember being really excited.” (21:00)
• Cats or dogs?
  • Gaga: “Dogs.” (21:18)
• One song for life?
  • Gaga: “John Lennon, Imagine. I grew up really close to the John Lennon memorial, so that has a very special significance for me.” (21:36)
• What number am I thinking of?
  • Gaga: “42.” (21:51)
  • Colbert: “No, but 42 is a really good answer.” (21:54)
• Describe the rest of your life in five words:
  • Gaga: “It’s gonna be great. Hopefully.” (22:05)

Memorable Exchanges & Quotes

• Colbert: “Are you willing to be fully known? Because once these questions are asked, you will be opened as a book before the world to be read.” (16:21)
  • Gaga: “Well, I think that’s already happened.” (16:31)
• On soul and death:
  • Gaga: “Like, I definitely believe the soul is forever here in some way… you go from being in one place to being everywhere.” (18:59)
• On airline seating:
  • Gaga: “For the feeling of safety between someone and the wolf.” (19:44)

Notable Quotes

• “It’s a hard nut smooth.” — Lady Gaga, referring to pistachio texture (01:05)
• "We got nothing but nut. Nutty, nutty, nutty, nutty." — Colbert, riffing with Gaga (03:09)
• “I’m not sure. I think we all just vanish into each other.” — Lady Gaga on what happens when we die (18:48)
• “Michael’s neck.” — Lady Gaga, naming her favorite smell (20:21)
• “It’s gonna be great. Hopefully.” — Lady Gaga, on the rest of her life (22:05)
• “Franklin is not a war criminal. That is Caillou. Get them straight.” — Colbert, on children’s show characters (11:35)

Timestamps for Key Segments

• Pistachio Banter: 01:05 – 03:09
• Monologue (Holiday Satire & Politics): 03:57 – 16:02
• Colbert Questionnaire Begins: 16:02
  • Best Sandwich: 16:49
  • First Concert: 17:12
  • Scariest Animal: 17:43
  • Apples/Oranges: 18:05
  • Autograph: 18:30
  • What Happens When We Die: 18:48
  • Favorite Action Movie: 19:30
  • Window or Aisle: 19:40
  • Favorite Smell: 20:21
  • Earliest Memory: 21:00
  • Cats or Dogs: 21:18
  • One Life Song: 21:36
  • Number Guess: 21:51
  • Five Words for Life: 22:05

Summary & Takeaways

This episode balances Stephen Colbert’s satirical monologue with a rare and candid look into Lady Gaga’s personality through the “Colbert Questionnaire.” Gaga’s answers are thoughtful, quirky, and personal, providing unique glimpses into her worldview and humor. The episode is laced with sharp political and cultural commentary, memorable one-liners, and a playful dynamic between Colbert and his superstar guest.

Perfect for: Fans of Colbert’s satire, Lady Gaga admirers, and anyone who enjoys clever celebrity interviews that go beyond the usual soundbites.