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Stephen Colbert
Hey, everybody. Stephen Colbert here about to read the copy for our sponsor. This is from our friends at Wonderful Pistachios. And I was the wonderful pistachio spokesman for years. Yeah, I have a real close association with nut meat. Okay. You know what they say when they reach for a snack? Don't hold back. And that's exactly the approach with Wonderful Pistachios. The don't hold back snack. These little wonders are so tasty, it feels like getting away with something. But surprise. Each serving has 6 grams of protein and 0 grams of regret. That's right. No guilt. Just glory, glory in our nuts. Whether it's a satisfying crack of in shell pistachios, and that's capitalized in shell, or the smooth, instant gratification of no shells. No judgment. That's just it. Just eat. No judgment. I take issue with one thing. It's instant gratification. It's super tasty smooth.
Sidekick/Co-host
It's a hard nut smooth.
Stephen Colbert
Exactly. I mean, even out of the shell, it's still a nut.
Sidekick/Co-host
We can't disparage the nuts. You.
Stephen Colbert
I'm not disparaging the nut. I'm describing the nut.
Sidekick/Co-host
Don't disparage any flavors.
Stephen Colbert
I'm not. I am celebrating the pistachio right now. I'm on board. I love pistachios.
Sponsor Voice/Announcer
I love.
Stephen Colbert
I love crushed pistachio. Like a pistachio crusted trout. Oh, unbelievable. Instead of a trout amandine, a trout pistachio. Fantastic. Enough butter? Who cares?
Sidekick/Co-host
Very good.
Stephen Colbert
And I love pistachio ice cream.
Sidekick/Co-host
Have you had the sea salt and vinegar? Wonderful pistachio. It's delicious. I get them.
Stephen Colbert
I didn't even know I get them.
Sidekick/Co-host
Before the softball games.
Stephen Colbert
But that's. You see, it's been a while since I've been the spokesman for wonderful pistachios. I didn't realize we'd achieved new pistachio technology.
Sidekick/Co-host
Yeah. Yeah. Wow.
Stephen Colbert
Wonderful pistachios has every snack style covered. Right now. There's an obsession with jalapeno lime. There is an obsession session.
It's almost a disorder. It's spicy, it's zesty. It's basically a flavor roller coaster in a nut.
Snacking on the go. Grab a bag of no shells. Feeling contemplative and want to work for it a little. So earning it, they're saying if you want to earn your nut, crack open those in shell beauties. Either way, it's snacking like a champ. So the next time hunger strikes, don't hold back. Unless it's a hunger strike. And then it's important that you do because whatever you're doing that for, I'm sure it's a worthwhile cause. Snack like you mean it with wonderful pistachios. Visit wonderfulpistachios.com to learn more.
Sidekick/Co-host
That was a wonderful.
Stephen Colbert
I wonder what more there is to learn.
We just told them so much. We just told them so much about pistachios. But evidently there's a whole other world. There's an unexplored vista.
Sidekick/Co-host
They got a bunch of flavors. They got dill pickle, jalapeno lime, as we learned, smoky barbecue. There's a lot of different flavors.
Stephen Colbert
Wow. And I would not disparage any of them.
Sidekick/Co-host
No, no, no.
Stephen Colbert
Bring it on.
Sidekick/Co-host
Nothing bad to say.
Stephen Colbert
Nut me.
Sidekick/Co-host
Nut.
Stephen Colbert
Nut me with nut meat.
Sidekick/Co-host
We're nut.
Stephen Colbert
No, we got nothing but nut. Nutty, nutty, nutty, nutty. Talk about.
Talk about, talk about, talk about nutty. Good.
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Stephen Colbert
Thank you, folks. Welcome. Welcome in here and out there to the late show. I'm your host, Stephen Colbert, ladies and gentlemen. I think.
I don't think we should take one step further in the show without saluting our audience tonight because they waited outside in New York's coldest day yet this holiday season. Thank you, son. Thank you. Thank you so much. Sid. How you can't. You can't stand up for yourself. Sit down.
It was the kind of weather today that makes you wish you were someplace tropical, like on a boat in the Caribbean, but.
Not near Venezuela.
There's a controversy over Whether the Trump administration will release the video of that second strike on survivors of an attack on an alleged drug boat back in September. Here's what Trump said last week.
Laura Dern
You released video of that first boat strike on September 2, but not the second video. Will you release video of that strike.
Sidekick/Co-host
So that the American people can see for themselves what happened?
Stephen Colbert
I don't know what they have, but whatever they have, we'd certainly release. No problem. No problem. Except for one problem. Yesterday, President Crankypants changed that to problem.
Sidekick/Co-host
Mr. President, you said you would have no problem with releasing the full video of that strike on September 2nd off the coast of Venezuela. Secretary Hegstad now says.
Stephen Colbert
I didn't say that. You said that. You're the one who said that. I'm not the president. You're the president.
And frankly, you're in a lot of trouble with this boat thing.
Not to mention, why did you get that mri? Why did that.
If you're wondering why Trump's backpedaling so hard on this video, people who have seen it have told CBS news that the two survivors were in the water for 45 minutes between strikes, and they were waving overhead before the second strike. And that action could be interpreted as the survivors either calling for help or trying to wave off another strike. Well, yeah. Why else would they be frantically waving after their boat blew up, huh? Look down there. They're waving.
They must recognize me from high school.
That was pretty popular.
Another hint that the video is bad. Republicans are saying that it's good. Just ask Senator Tom Cotton. At one point, the guy takes off his T shirt.
Laura Dern
Isn't it possible that even the act of taking off a T shirt could have been part of an attempt to get attention for help?
Stephen Colbert
Or it could have been an attempt to signal to another cartel boat to come pick them up and pick up the cargo. At one point, it seemed like they were trying to spell out the word help, which is drug smuggler acronym for hey, enjoy leftover pot.
Yesterday, Trump tried to help out some folks who had been hurt by the tariffs. He announced a $12 billion bailout for American farmers. In the announcement, Trump claimed that the tariffs are not the problem, they're the solution, saying the bailout was funded by tariffs and that this money would not be possible without tariffs. No, you dingus. They need the money because of your tariffs. He's like a guy saying, hey, if I hadn't given you herpes, if I hadn't given you herpes, you would never have gotten to try this soothing topical ointment.
Trump made the Announcement at a roundtable where he explained his theory of why farming has become less affordable. Farming equipment has gotten too expensive. And a lot of the reason is because they put these environmental excesses on the equipment which don't do a damn thing except make it complicated, make it impractical, and you really have to be. In many cases, you need about 185 IQ to turn on a lawnmower. Really? Sounds like he doesn't know how to turn on lawnmower.
But I guess it adds new context to this picture. Hey, kid.
You'Re a genius. But it wouldn't be a Trump event of any kind without a little bit of smooching to the bottom. I've got a two year old little boy at home and the other day I was reading my little boy a story at night, putting him to bed, and he said, daddy, I don't want Santa Claus to come to our house for Christmas. I want President Trump.
Are you.
Are you sure about that, kid? What would Santa Trump even bring you? Beautiful clean coal.
That's nice. Clean, cold. That's nice for the farmers.
Hey, how's it going?
This is all nice for the farmers, but you know who's not getting a bailout? Anyone else? And that's too bad, because businesses are warning that it's only so long before Trump's tariffs costs hit consumers. Retailers like William Sonoma, Under Armour and Abercrombie are all warning of price increases. Oh, no. Now those poor Abercrombie models will never be able to afford a shirt.
Look at him.
His lower V is so cold.
Another.
Retailer who might be raising their prices is Kohl's. Darn it.
That means I'll have to use my Kohl's cash. And.
I was saving it to play a really funny joke on someone in my will.
Wouldn't that be fun? The administration is trying to win over the public in other ways. Yesterday we heard from RFK Jr. And Sean Duffy, our Transportation Secretary, who announced a new airport improvement program which aims to add, among other things, areas for travelers to work out. But Duffy specified it's for light workouts, saying, I don't want you to have a full body sweat going on until you stink. And that's actually very easy. All you have to do is space out your exercise. That's why I do one squat every five years.
Set this for 2030.
These proposed.
These proposed mini gyms would include things like boxes for Step Ups, treadmills, maybe some exercise bikes and yoga mats. And if you're a fan of the airport bathroom, you're going to love the airport.
Yoga mat. Now.
You'Ll be doing downward pet relief area. Now, you may remember the last time we saw secretary Sean Duffy. He told us that we should dress up.
So don't forget, everyone on your way to LaGuardia, wear your finest sweat tuxedo. Now, if you're wondering what working out in business clothes at an airport would look like, good news. At the end of the press conference, Duffy and RFK Jr. Held a business casual pull up competition. And the winner was. None of us.
Finally.
Finally. That was fast.
Finally, bad news for Trump on the legal front. After multiple judges found her appointment illegal, his former personal attorney, Alina Haba has resigned as New Jersey's top prosecutor.
So now, Alina no Haba. Jabba. Thank you. Thank you. Now, I know.
I know I said finally just a second ago, but there's actually one more story. There's some big news from Tinseltown because right now there's a huge bidding war going on over who's going to buy Warner Bros. Warner's got a lot of juicy ip. We're talking DC superheroes, Harry Potter, Looney Tunes, Scooby Doo, fifty Shades of Grey, and the Lord of the Rings.
Not to mention its erotic spinoff, fifty Shades of Gandalf the Grey.
Can you put that back up? Can you put that. I didn't know Gandalf.
I didn't know Gandalf modeled for Abercrombie.
Here's what's going on Friday. Just Friday, right? Friday we learned that Netflix put in a bid to acquire Warner Brothers for $82.7 billion. That's a lot of cash. You know what that means? Someone somewhere must be paying for their own Netflix account.
But just yesterday morning, my beloved parent company Paramount reportedly launched a hostile takeover bid for Warner Bros. Valued at $108 billion. Wow. I gotta say, if my company's got that kind of green, I'm sure they can afford to un. Cancel one of their best show.
Thank you, thank you, thank you. Please, please, please. Have a seat, everybody.
Sidekick/Co-host
Cbs.
Stephen Colbert
Cbs. You heard the people. Bring back, bring back the Equalizer.
We need our queen to return. Why do you think America has become so unequalized?
Turns out Paramount got a little assist on the cash front. Their bid includes $24 billion from Saudi Arabia, Qatar and Abu Dhabi wealth funds. And when the dictator of Saudi Arabia gives you billions of dollars, I'm sure there's no catch. In a totally unrelated story, I'm looking forward to next season's new CBS hit comedy, young Mohammed Bin Sheldon, we got a great show for you tonight.
Sidekick/Co-host
Coming up. Laura Dern.
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Stephen Colbert
You.
Ladies and gentlemen. My first guest tonight is an academy award winning actor. You know, from Blue Velvet, Jurassic Park, Park, Marriage Story and Big Little Lies. She now stars in the film Is this thing on?
You took one? Yeah, when I went from the.
Laura Dern
Bathroom.
I was stealing.
Stephen Colbert
It.
Gonna make you really high.
That's the idea.
You ate more than I did.
Oh, that was probably really stupid.
Please welcome back to the Late Show, Laura.
Sidekick/Co-host
Dern.
Thank.
Stephen Colbert
You. That's.
Laura Dern
Lovely. I am. I bring the spirit. I bring the.
Stephen Colbert
Cheer. You know, it's nice to see you again. The last time we had a chance to talk together on camera was 2020, right before COVID Yeah. But more importantly, right before you won your Oscar for Marriage Story. Congratulations on.
Sidekick/Co-host
That. Thank.
Stephen Colbert
You.
Laura Dern
Attractively. Thank.
Stephen Colbert
You. Where does one. I don't have an.
Laura Dern
Oscar. You don't yet. Guys, we gotta right that.
Stephen Colbert
Wrong. Where does.
You recommend.
Laura Dern
It? Yes, you recommend.
Stephen Colbert
It? Highly. I'll put it on the list next to bungee jumping. Now, where do you keep.
Laura Dern
It? Well, currently.
My Oscar, because of the fires in la, went to stay with a friend because we had to evacuate. So my Oscar has been living with Gregory Peck's Oscar at Gregory's daughter's home.
Stephen Colbert
So. So you're.
Laura Dern
On. Yeah, they're having an amazing time.
Stephen Colbert
Ye. That's incredible. That's incredible. So they're not.
Laura Dern
Lonely. That's the. No, exactly, exactly. In fact, my Oscar calls that Oscar Atticus, I believe only which is.
Stephen Colbert
Appropriate. Oh, that's very sweet. Okay, as I said on the intro and we saw the clip there, you're starring in a new film with Will Arnett. Is this thing.
Sidekick/Co-host
On?
Stephen Colbert
Yes. Quick question. How accurate was that scene? How method was that? Was that an actual pot cookie that you were.
Laura Dern
Eating? Well, of course, I am very.
Stephen Colbert
Method.
Laura Dern
Ok. So, I mean, I guess luckily if you're going to film in Grand Central, it's good to not be entirely method because that could have really turned out bad if I was completely high the entire.
Stephen Colbert
Shoot. Also, depending on how many takes you.
Laura Dern
Have. Yeah.
Stephen Colbert
Exactly. Extremely.
Laura Dern
Dangerous. Exactly. But it was an amazing movie to work on. Bradley Cooper directed. And it's a beautiful film. We love so much. It's a real homage to New York.
Stephen Colbert
City. What's it about?
And.
Laura Dern
Yes. Which we love. It's. It's an adult film.
Stephen Colbert
About. It's not an adult.
Laura Dern
Film. It is an adult.
Stephen Colbert
Film. It's a film for.
Laura Dern
Adults. No, you've never seen us quite like.
Sidekick/Co-host
This. Oh.
Laura Dern
Wow. Okay. Yeah, yeah.
Sponsor Voice/Announcer
Sure.
Stephen Colbert
Yes. So the cookies were real. Of.
Laura Dern
Course. In fact, they're still hitting me.
Stephen Colbert
Now. Okay, so it's a mature.
Laura Dern
Film. It's a mature film about a couple, after being married for 25 years with two kids, have lost their way and are trying to see if they can find their way back to each other by really learning about themselves, maybe for the first time in their lives. And it's hysterically funny to me. But more importantly, it's kind and hopeful and about empathy and learning to communicate. And I'm so proud of this.
Stephen Colbert
Movie. We have to take a quick break. We'll be right back with more Laura Dern.
Sidekick/Co-host
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Stephen Colbert
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Laura Dern
Payment of $45 for three month plan equivalent to $15 per month required new customer offer for first three months only. Speed slow after 35 gigabytes if.
Sidekick/Co-host
Network'S busy, taxes and fees.
Laura Dern
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Sidekick/Co-host
Runner.
However you choose to do.
Laura Dern
It.
Because when you're not worried about doing things the right.
Sidekick/Co-host
Way.
You'Re free to discover your way. And that's what running is all.
Laura Dern
About. Run your way@newbalance.com.
Stephen Colbert
Running.
We're back with the star of Is this Thing on Laura Dern. This is a very funny film. There are some, there are some sad moments in it. It troubled in your marriage. What did you do when you got home to relax and to get.
Laura Dern
Yourself? Beautiful question. Because it is a as you know, as someone who really has been one of our great actors, whether you think of yourself as that or not, because you've played some of my favorite characters of all time. Thanks to the Colbert Report. Have to say, awesome, awesome. Thank you so but you know, in the case of this movie, yeah to wind down. I was very lucky. We shot here in New York and I brought my rest beloved husky with me. And so when I would go to work, she would go off to this daycare adventure that I found and at the end of the day we'd cuddle up and I'd get videos and we'd look over them. And she in fact shared she had grown into having quite a crush going to this daycare and develop this beautiful.
Stephen Colbert
Relationship. I heard about this. There's a video we have here of what's your dog's.
Laura Dern
Name?
Stephen Colbert
Baby.
Laura Dern
Baby. I'd love for you to see.
Stephen Colbert
This. Baby is a white husky. A husky. Colored.
Sidekick/Co-host
Husky.
Stephen Colbert
Yes. And she's got a Friend right.
Sidekick/Co-host
Here. Let's show this.
Laura Dern
Dog. Yeah, this is her with.
Stephen Colbert
Her. And I happen to know this other dog. This is hysterical. That is my dog, Benny. Yes.
That is my dog Benny, the brown dog who happened to go to the same. He was staying in the same place while we were out of.
Laura Dern
Town. They're so in.
Stephen Colbert
Love. They're so. It's getting really.
Laura Dern
Serious. Yeah, it's.
Stephen Colbert
Serious. Yeah.
Laura Dern
Yeah. We're gonna be in laws.
Stephen Colbert
This.
But here's the thing. Did you. I found out today that Benny is boyfriends with your daughter? Yeah. Did you know that that was my daughter? I.
Laura Dern
Didn'T. I just kept hearing about Benny and it was Benny and baby. I mean, that's such a good.
Stephen Colbert
Couple.
Laura Dern
Fantastic. And then only later, I found out that they're madly in.
Stephen Colbert
Love. Wow. I got some great news for.
Laura Dern
You.
Stephen Colbert
Yes. There's no danger she'll get pregnant.
You're also an executive producer on the series Palm Royale, which is currently. Yeah, okay. It's got a murderer's row. It's you, Alison Janney, Kristen Wiig and Carol Burnett. Did you ever think when you were growing up that you would have a chance to produce, cast and perform with Carol.
Laura Dern
Burnett? I know, never. How about when you've had her on the.
Sidekick/Co-host
Show? It's just.
Stephen Colbert
Like. It's.
Laura Dern
Incandescent. It's incredible. I mean, and she has the most amazing time being with you. She was telling me about it and she is the most professional person you've ever worked with. She's there 15 minutes before everybody else.
Stephen Colbert
Guys. And she's in her.
Laura Dern
90S. Yes. And she's extraordinary. And I grew up, my grandma and I watched her, she and Lucy, every day. And I got to tell her that she's the reason I fell in love with this in the first place. So. And hearing her stories, she always would tell me, Lucy would call her kid. I'm just like, oh, my God. Lucy and Carol hanging out and her calling her kid. Nothing made me.
Stephen Colbert
Happier. And you actually did something lovely for Carol last year. Tell people about the orchestrated.
Laura Dern
Surprise. Well, my producing partner, Jamie Lemons and I learned that Carol, of all icons, had not received her hand and footprints on Hollywood Boulevard in front of Grauman's Chinese. And so we tried to correct that and in fact, got the.
Sidekick/Co-host
Dream.
Laura Dern
Yeah.
Stephen Colbert
Cheryl.
We have to go here in just one second. Before we do, there's somebody I want you to meet. If you just stay right there.
This is your son in law. This is.
Sidekick/Co-host
Benny.
Stephen Colbert
No.
Oh.
Sidekick/Co-host
Benny. Oh.
Laura Dern
Benny. It's baby's mommy. I'm baby's.
Stephen Colbert
Mommy. Season two of Palm Royale is available on Apple TV and Is this Thing on? Is in theaters December 19th. Laura Dern, everybody.
Thank you for listening to the Late Show Pod show with Stephen Colbert. Just one more thing. If you want to see more of me, come to The Late Show YouTube channel for more clips and.
Sidekick/Co-host
Exclusives.
Stephen Colbert
Time. It's always.
Laura Dern
Vanishing. The commute, the errands, the work functions, the meetings. Selling your car. Unless do you sell your car with Carvana? Get a real offer in minutes. Get it picked up from your door. Get paid on the spot so fast you'll wonder what the catch is. There isn't one. We just respect you and your time. Oh, you're still here. Move along now. Enjoy your.
Sidekick/Co-host
Day. Sell your car.
Laura Dern
Today.
Sidekick/Co-host
Carvana. Pick up fees may.
Stephen Colbert
Apply.
Sunday with the post season approaching, count on an NFL on CBS doubleheader. The early window features the Bills out for revenge against Drake May and the division leading Patriots. Later inter conference squad square off when the packers head to Mile High to face the Broncos. It all begins at noon Eastern with the NFL today. You can always count on Sundays with the NFL on CBS and streaming on Paramount.
Episode: Laura Dern | Travel Buff
Date: December 10, 2025
Guest: Laura Dern
This episode features Academy Award-winning actress Laura Dern, returning to The Late Show for a lively and heartfelt conversation with Stephen Colbert. They discuss Dern's new film "Is This Thing On?" (directed by Bradley Cooper and co-starring Will Arnett), her role as executive producer on "Palm Royale," her unique Oscar storage story, and some delightful canine connections. The conversation mixes humor, personal anecdotes, career insights, and memorable exchanges about film, family, and the joys of working with Hollywood legends.
Warm, witty, and affectionate—combining Colbert’s signature sharp humor with Laura Dern’s genuine storytelling. The episode balances lighthearted dog anecdotes, candid movie trivia, and heartfelt tributes to Hollywood legends.