Mark Hamill's Colbert Questionert

Summary

The Late Show Pod Show with Stephen Colbert

Episode: Mark Hamill’s Colbert Questionert

Date: May 4, 2026
Guest: Mark Hamill

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Overview

In this lively and insightful episode, Stephen Colbert welcomes beloved actor Mark Hamill for the signature “Colbert Questionert”—a playful yet revealing set of rapid-fire questions designed to uncover the essence of a guest’s personality. With humor and candor, Hamill reflects on life, career, favorite things, and profound moments, peppered with charming anecdotes and genuine wit. The tone is upbeat, whimsical, and endearingly self-deprecating.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

Introduction to the Colbert Questionert

[00:57 - 01:51]

• Colbert sets the stage: “So we here at The Late Show have come up with something that future historians will call the Colbert Questionnaire...questions that penetrate straight to the soul of someone, reveal them fully to the world and to the audience. Are you prepared? Have you the courage to be known?”
• Hamill responds with classic humor: “Am I allowed to lie?”
• Colbert: “Yes.”
• Hamill: “Well, then I have complete confidence. But I'll try and tell the truth.”
  (01:44 - 01:50)

Favorite Foods and Earliest Influences

• Best Sandwich?
  Hamill: “Albacore white tuna on toasted rye. Little lemon juice and sweet relish.” (02:00 - 02:09)
• First Concert?
  Hamill: “The Rolling Stones. I was 17.” (02:16 - 02:23)
• Scariest Animal?
  Hamill: “A shark.” (02:28 - 02:35)
• Apples or Oranges?
  Hamill: “Oranges because you get the fruit and you get a drink. It's juicy and delicious.” (02:41 - 02:48)

Childhood Autograph Story

[02:55 - 04:23]

• Hamill recounts nervously asking Groucho Marx for an autograph as a child, prompted by his father’s friend.
• Groucho’s wit:

  “Oh, you don't have my autograph. Well, that's one strike against you. What's your name? Oh, no name and no autograph, that's two strikes against you. One more strike and you're out of the ball game...Camel, eh? I don't see a hump. Well, don't worry, you'll have one by the time you're my age.” (03:21 - 03:43)

• Colbert: “That's the greatest Groucho story I've ever heard.” (04:01 - 04:03)

On Life (and Death)

[04:46 - 05:21]

• What happens when we die?
  Hamill: “I'd like to think we’re all floating up in the clouds playing harps, but I'm worried we’re just worm food...Either way, I think we'll work out. All right.” (04:49 - 05:01)
• Colbert: “It'll be fine for us, or it'll be fine for the worms.” Hamill: “Why shouldn't they have a treat?...we must be—to worms.” (05:09 - 05:19)

Movie Talk

• Favorite Action Movie?
  Hamill: “I love The Dirty Dozen...Stalag 17...Aliens—the second one. Once I got over the disappointment, they didn’t maintain the premise, it’s a pretty darn good action movie.” (05:24 - 06:00)
• Colbert reveals he hasn’t seen Aliens.
  Hamill: “Oh, I won’t spoil it.” (06:04 - 06:10)

Personal Preferences

• Window or Aisle?
  Hamill: “Window. I like to look outside...I like to get on the plane at the end, because if you get on first, everybody walks by you and you spend the rest of the afternoon writing ‘May the Voice be with you’ on menus.” (06:23 - 06:42)
• Favorite & Least Favorite Smell?
  Hamill: “Coffee. Popcorn...My wife's neck.” (06:44 - 06:50) Colbert jokes: “Rub a little popcorn on there.” Hamill: “A little butter.”
  Least favorite: “The subway. I don’t know—on a hot summer day.” (07:01 - 07:05)

Origins as a Performer

• Earliest Memory?
  Hamill recalls seeing Clarence Nash do Donald Duck’s voice on TV.

  “It just blew my mind...people go to work and they're the voices of cartoons. It didn’t make me a very good studier in high school, I was working on my Yogi Bear.” (07:08 - 07:44) (Impression: “Hey, Boo Boo. Hey, Boo Boo.”)

Animal Loyalties

• Cats or Dogs?
  Hamill: “I love all animals, but I love dogs the most. I’m fascinated by cats, but they just tolerate us...They allow us to serve them. But again, I love all animals...I need cute animal clips in my life to distract myself from reality.” (08:03 - 08:44)

Music that Matters

• One Song for the Rest of Your Life?
  Hamill: “I’m a huge Ray Davies fan. He wrote ‘Waterloo Sunset’...Ray told me the biggest compliment he ever had was seeing a quote when Paul McCartney said, ‘I should have written that song.’ No higher praise than that.” (09:05 - 09:24)
  • Runner up: “Celluloid Heroes” by The Kinks (09:39 - 10:04)
  • Colbert adds: “Village Green Preservation Society. Hard to beat that.” (10:04 - 10:07)

Playful Finale

• What number am I thinking of?
  Hamill: “Nine.” Colbert: “No.” Hamill: “Oh, shoot.” (10:25 - 10:28)
• Describe the rest of your life in five words?
  Hamill: “Staying in pajamas all day.” (10:34 - 10:40)
• Colbert: “Good plan. Congratulations, Mark. You are known.” (10:40)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On truth in interviews:
  Hamill: “Am I allowed to lie?...Well, then I have complete confidence.” (01:44 - 01:49)
• Groucho Marx encounter:
  Groucho: “Camel, eh? I don't see a hump. Well, don't worry, you'll have one by the time you're my age.” (03:37 - 03:43)
• On death:
  “Either way, I think we’ll work out. All right.” (05:01)
• On lifelong dreams:
  “People go to work and they’re the voices of cartoons. It didn’t make me a very good studier in high school, I was working on my Yogi Bear.” (07:43 - 07:44)
• On animals and media:
  “I need cute animal clips in my life to distract myself from reality.” (08:44)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Introduction to the Colbert Questionert: [00:57 - 01:51]
• Groucho Marx autograph story: [02:55 - 04:23]
• Views on death: [04:46 - 05:21]
• Favorite movies: [05:24 - 06:10]
• Musical favorites and Ray Davies story: [09:05 - 10:04]
• Five-word life summary: [10:34 - 10:40]

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Final Note

This episode is a delightful mix of wit, nostalgia, and philosophical musing, delivered in the charming banter between Colbert and Hamill. Listeners get a genuine peek into Mark Hamill’s humor, talents, and humanity—even his affinity for pajamas and otter videos. Whether you’re a fan of Star Wars, Broadway, or simply clever conversation, this installment is not to be missed.

Transcript

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[Stephen Colbert]

This summer, serve up the Cookout Classics, Heinz ketchup and Kraft Singles. Every good burger needs a layer of perfectly melty cheese and thick, rich ketchup. We all know it's not a cookout without Heinz and Kraft.

[Mark Hamill]

It's the Late Show Poncho with Stephen Colbert.

[Stephen Colbert]

Thanks, everybody. Welcome back. Of course, this is this wonderful one of the stars of the life of Chuck, Mark Hamill and Corvette Sommer and Corvette Sommer. Mark Hamill. Mark. Mark, thanks so much for being here. You know, I have always enjoyed talking to you every time we've had a chance to be together. And I love hearing your stories and knowing more about you. But even the best interview with a guest can't always get to who the essence of that person is. So we here at the Late show have coming up with something that future historians will call the Colbert questionnaire. And in the and the colbert questionnaire, like 13, 14 questions here that penetrate straight to the soul of someone, reveal them fully to the world and to the audience. Are you prepared? Have you the courage to be known?

[Mark Hamill]

Mark Hamill, Am I allowed to lie?

[Stephen Colbert]

Yes.

[Mark Hamill]

Well, then I have complete confidence.

[Stephen Colbert]

Okay, great.

[Mark Hamill]

But I'll try and tell the truth.

[Stephen Colbert]

Mark Hamill, what is the best sandwich?

[Mark Hamill]

Ooh, Albacore white tuna on toasted rye. Oh, nice.

[Stephen Colbert]

Anything else on there?

[Mark Hamill]

Little lemon juice and sweet relish. Yeah. Okay. There you go. All right, very important.

[Stephen Colbert]

What was your first concert that you attended?

[Mark Hamill]

My first concert I ever attended was the Rolling Stones.

[Stephen Colbert]

What? How old were you?

[Mark Hamill]

I was 17.

[Stephen Colbert]

What is the scariest animal?

[Mark Hamill]

Oh, scariest animal. Hungry dog? No, I think a shark.

[Stephen Colbert]

Sure. Shark's fine.

[Mark Hamill]

Okay, good.

[Stephen Colbert]

Apples or oranges?

[Mark Hamill]

I love them both, but I'm gonna go with oranges because you get the fruit and you get a drink. It's juicy and delicious.

[Podcast Narrator]

There you go.

[Stephen Colbert]

Sure. It's efficient. Have you ever asked someone for their autograph?

[Mark Hamill]

Oh, when I was about 9 or 10, my father ran the PX, and he met with Boris Selwyn, who was a jewelry dealer at the Bistro in Los Angeles. And he said to. He said to me, you know who's sitting right over there? And I said, who? He goes, that's Groucho Marx. And I looked around, I said, that's not Groucho Marx. I was a huge Groucho fan, but obviously wasn't wearing this mustache and all that. He said, no, that is. Boris said, believe me, that is him. Go ask for his autograph. So it wasn't my idea, but I went over there and I had a Bistro matchbook cover. And I said, I almost couldn't talk. I said, can I have your autograph? Oh, you don't have my autograph. Well, that's one strike against you. What's your name? Oh, no name and no autograph. That's two strikes against you. One more strike and you're out of the ball game. And I managed to get out. Mark Camel. Camel, eh? I don't see a hump. Well, don't worry, you'll have one by the time you're my age. That's true.

[Stephen Colbert]

That's the greatest Groucho story I've ever

[Mark Hamill]

heard, and it's every bit true. My dad said later when I was walking over his table, Boris lived, like, down the street from him in Beverly Hills. And he did this towards me, you know, like, give him the business. But again, it wasn't my idea. I mean, I love people, but that wouldn't be something that would occur to me.

[Stephen Colbert]

Do you still have it somewhere?

[Mark Hamill]

I haven't seen it in years, but of course I have it somewhere.

[Stephen Colbert]

And then you played the Groucho part in Room Service on Broadway.

[Mark Hamill]

I saw that. Directed by Alan Arkin.

[Stephen Colbert]

I ushered to be able to see that. Because I was a college student, I couldn't afford tickets.

[Mark Hamill]

You know, I think I've heard that before. Yeah, that's wonderful.

[Stephen Colbert]

Yeah, I talk about it to everyone.

[Mark Hamill]

Okay.

[Stephen Colbert]

What do you think happens when we die?

[Mark Hamill]

Gee, I'd like to think that we're all floating up in the clouds playing harps, but I'm worried that we're just worm food. I'm trying to. I don't know. I mean, that's.

[Stephen Colbert]

No, I understand.

[Mark Hamill]

You gotta believe. But either way, I think we'll work out. All right.

[Stephen Colbert]

It's gonna be fine.

[Mark Hamill]

Yes, yes.

[Stephen Colbert]

It'll be fine for us, or it'll be fine for the worms. Exactly, exactly. Why shouldn't they have a treat? Yeah, I'm sure we're delicious.

[Mark Hamill]

Yeah, we must be. To worms.

[Stephen Colbert]

Favorite action movie.

[Mark Hamill]

Oh, gosh, I love the Dirty Dozen. I'm showing my age now, but sure. Stalag 17. That wasn't really action more recently.

[Stephen Colbert]

Whatever you want.

[Mark Hamill]

Yeah. Just, I don't know, aliens.

[Stephen Colbert]

Oh, the second one.

[Mark Hamill]

The second one. Well, when I got over the disappointment, because the first one, they were just. You could not stop them. They bled acid. And here in the second one, you just shoot them. And there were, you know, 50,000 of them. So once I got over the disappointment, they didn't maintain the premise. It's a pretty darn good action movie.

[Stephen Colbert]

Yeah. I hear good things.

[Mark Hamill]

All right.

[Stephen Colbert]

Okay.

[Mark Hamill]

You haven't seen it yet.

[Stephen Colbert]

I have never seen it.

[Mark Hamill]

Oh, I won't spoil it.

[Stephen Colbert]

I'm with you.

[Mark Hamill]

Oh, good. You can say the F word.

[Stephen Colbert]

Oh, yeah.

[Mark Hamill]

Oh,

[Stephen Colbert]

you can't actually say it. You can't actually say it. Okay. Window or aisle?

[Mark Hamill]

Window. Okay, I said window because I like to look outside the window and I like to get on the plane at the end. Because if you get on first, everybody walks by you and you spend the rest of the afternoon writing. May the Voice be with you on menus.

[Stephen Colbert]

Favorite smell.

[Mark Hamill]

Ooh. Coffee. Popcorn. Ooh, yeah.

[Stephen Colbert]

Least favorite smell?

[Mark Hamill]

My wife's neck. Oh, wow.

[Stephen Colbert]

Hey, rub a little popcorn on there. Yeah, exactly. A little butter. All right. Least favorite smell?

[Mark Hamill]

Oh, gosh. The subway. I don't know.

[Stephen Colbert]

On a hot summer day.

[Mark Hamill]

Sure. Yes, exactly.

[Stephen Colbert]

Earliest memory.

[Mark Hamill]

Oh, gosh. Earliest memory. I remember seeing a man on the Walt Disney show with white hair and a suit. I must. It was before kindergarten. I was maybe three or four. And he got up to the microphone, Clarence Nash. And he did the voice of Donald Duck. And it just blew my mind. I mean, I was so young, I thought, I guess, oh, yeah, there must be people who do daffy and bugs and all that. But it was an epiphany. And I thought, I want that job.

[Stephen Colbert]

You got that job.

[Mark Hamill]

I do a terrible Donald Duck. But what I'm saying is, clickety click, I thought, gee, people go to work and they're the voices of cartoons. It didn't make me a very good studier in high school. I mean, I was working on my Yogi Bear. Hey, Boo Boo. Hey, Boo Boo. Okay.

[Stephen Colbert]

Hey.

[Mark Hamill]

Young.

[Stephen Colbert]

Okay. Well, I kind of know this one. Cats or dogs?

[Mark Hamill]

I love all animals, but I love dogs the most. There you go. Because, listen, I'm fascinated by cats, but they just tolerate us.

[Stephen Colbert]

Yes.

[Mark Hamill]

They don't really need us.

[Stephen Colbert]

They live with us.

[Mark Hamill]

Yes.

[Stephen Colbert]

Not for us.

[Mark Hamill]

Yes. And they allow us to serve them. But again, I love all animals. I love elephants. I love I mean, I follow this account on Blue Sky. That's nothing. But it's called in otter news, it's just otters. It's just otters swimming, eating, basking in the sun. I need cute animal clips in my life to distract myself from reality.

[Stephen Colbert]

You only get one song to listen to for the rest of your life. What is it? Now? This is, you know, it's not constant, but when you go to listen to music, this is the music that you get.

[Mark Hamill]

Well, I'm a huge Ray Davies fan. Oh, wow. He wrote a song called Waterloo Sunset. Sure. Yeah. And let me tell you something. I eventually met Ray and his brother Dave, and Ray told me the biggest compliment he ever had was seeing a quote in the newspaper when Paul McCartney said. Paul McCartney said, I should have written that song. I said, no higher praise than that. That'd be great. But I have to say, my second favorite or equal favorite of Ray's is Celluloid Heroes.

[Stephen Colbert]

Sure.

[Mark Hamill]

And it's about, you know, stars on Hollywood Boulevard. And he singles out all these different. He's so witty. He's so right. There are stars in every city, in every house and on every street. And if you walk down Hollywood Boulevard, they're written in concrete. It's a lovely melody and a really

[Stephen Colbert]

village green Preservation society. Hard to beat that.

[Mark Hamill]

Yeah, exactly.

[Stephen Colbert]

And then Dave, I think, wrote Strangers.

[Mark Hamill]

Yeah. And he. Yeah, he's underrated. It must be hard having an overachieving brother. He wrote Death of a Clown as well.

[Stephen Colbert]

What number am I thinking of?

[Mark Hamill]

Nine.

[Stephen Colbert]

No.

[Mark Hamill]

Oh, shoot.

[Stephen Colbert]

Mark Hemill, describe the rest of your life in five words.

[Mark Hamill]

Staying in pajamas all day.

[Stephen Colbert]

Good plan. Congratulations, Mark. You are known. Thank you for listening to the Late Show Pod show with Stephen Colbert. Just one more thing. If you want to see more of me, come to The Late Show YouTube channel for more clips and exclusives.

[Podcast Narrator]

When beloved family patriarch Gary Farris went missing, his family looked everywhere on their property until they came across something horrifying. It's a homicide.

[Stephen Colbert]

Absolutely.

[Podcast Narrator]

The blame game in this family was went round and round. This is Blood is Thicker, the Ferris Wheel.

[Stephen Colbert]

I don't see how anyone can look at this story and think they were happy.

[Podcast Narrator]

Binge the full series. Blood is Thicker, the Ferris Wheel on the Free Odyssey app, or wherever you get your podcasts.