Meanwhile | Chimpanzee Fashion

Summary

Episode Summary: "Meanwhile | Chimpanzee Fashion"

Released on July 20, 2025, "Meanwhile | Chimpanzee Fashion" is an engaging episode of The Late Show Pod Show with Stephen Colbert. Hosted by CBS, this episode seamlessly blends sharp humor, insightful commentary, and vibrant interactions among the cast members. Below is a detailed summary capturing all key discussions, notable quotes, and the overall essence of the episode.

---

1. Humorous Monologue and Topical News Bits

Jon Batiste's Monologue: The heart of the episode features Jon Batiste delivering a witty and fast-paced monologue filled with humorous takes on recent news and quirky events.

• Japan's Internet Speed Record (06:00): Jon opens with the astonishing news that Japan has broken the Internet speed record by downloading all of Netflix in just one second. He humorously enumerates the implications:

  “That means in just the blink of an eye, Japan can now download Love is Blind.” (06:15)

• Tarantulas in German Airports (06:40): Transitioning to an unusual headline, Jon discusses the discovery of 1,500 tarantulas stuffed in sponge cake boxes at a German airport.

  “That headline, of course, was much shorter in Germany because the Germans already have the word spider.” (06:50)

• Chimpanzees' Fashion Trends in Zambia (05:30): The centerpiece of the episode revolves around chimpanzees in Zambia engaging in what appears to be a new fashion trend—sticking grass and sticks in their ears and anuses to attract mates.

  “Honey, don't come in here. I'm putting on a fashion show. By the way, we're all out of kindling.” (05:50) Jon humorously pondered the social dynamics of dating chimpanzees: “Dating a chimp sounds brutal. The date went okay, I guess, but I don't know if she liked me because of my personality or because of how many sticks and blades of grass I had in my anus.” (05:55)

• Climate Solution: Tarp-Covered Poop Lagoons (06:20): Addressing environmental concerns, Jon highlights researchers' suggestion that tarp-covered manure ponds could mitigate methane emissions.

  “Now all we need is a solution on how to unhear the term tarp covered poop lagoons.” (06:30)

Notable Quotes:

• “Meanwhile, Japan can now download Love is Blind in just one second.” (06:15)
• “Manure ponds on farms are a huge source of methane. And now researchers say that tarp covered poop lagoons could be a climate solution.” (06:25)

---

2. Cast Banter and Interactions

The episode showcases the dynamic chemistry among the hosts and guests, particularly during the comedic segments.

• Pistachio Ad Skit (00:00 - 03:14): While advertisements are generally skipped, the initial segment features Stephen Colbert, Louis Cato, and Jon Batiste humorously endorsing Wonderful Pistachios. Their playful exchange highlights their rapport and comedic timing.

  Stephen Colbert: “I love pistachio ice cream.” (01:32) Louis Cato: “Have you had the sea salt and vinegar? Wonderful pistachio. It's delicious.” (01:34) Jon Batiste: “Talk about, talk about, talk about, talk about nutty.” (03:14)

• AI-Generated Keyboardist Joke (07:10 - 08:44): The discussion turns to the rise of AI in the music industry, with Corey Bernhardt humorously admitting that their keyboardist is entirely AI-generated.

  Jon Batiste: “Corey, is that true? Foolish human, Soon I and my brethren will cleanse the earth of your kind and rule unopposed over the vast arid wasteland.”* (08:44)

Notable Quotes:

• “We can be world famous? I would've never imagined that hip hop was born here.” - Corey Bernhardt (10:20)
• “Real music needs real musicians, like Louis Cato and the Late Show Band.” - Jon Batiste (07:30)

---

3. Advertisements and Promotions (Skipped Content)

As per the episode guidelines, advertisements, intros, outros, and non-content sections are omitted from the summary. These segments include:

• Wonderful Pistachios Advertisement (00:00 - 03:14): A humorous endorsement of pistachios by Stephen Colbert and fellow cast members.

• Dermalogica Promotional Segment (03:22 - 03:53): LL Cool J introduces Dermalogica’s Daily Microfoliant with an enticing offer.

• Pluto TV Advertisement (10:38 - 11:01): Corey Bernhardt promotes Pluto TV’s free movie offerings for the summer.

---

4. Upcoming Shows and Promotions

The episode concludes with promotions for upcoming content and external shows:

• LL Cool J's Docuseries on Hip Hop (10:12 - 10:34): LL Cool J announces a new docuseries hosted by him, focusing on the history and global impact of hip hop.

  “New docuseries streaming July 22nd on Paramount.” (10:34)

• Pluto TV Summer of Cinema (10:38 - 11:01): Corey Bernhardt highlights Pluto TV’s free streaming of blockbuster movies, enhancing the episode's connection with pop culture enthusiasts.

---

5. Concluding Remarks

The Late Show Pod Show with Stephen Colbert masterfully blends humor with topical discussions, making "Meanwhile | Chimpanzee Fashion" a standout episode. Through Jon Batiste's sharp monologue and the vibrant interactions among the hosts, listeners are treated to a rich tapestry of comedic insights and entertaining narratives. Whether it's pondering the peculiar fashion trends of chimpanzees or laughing at the absurdity of AI-generated musicians, the episode delivers an engaging and memorable listening experience.

Key Takeaways:

• Humor in Current Events: The episode adeptly uses humor to shed light on unusual and entertaining news stories.
• Host Chemistry: The seamless interactions among Stephen Colbert, Jon Batiste, Louis Cato, Corey Bernhardt, and guests like LL Cool J enhance the show's lively atmosphere.
• Engaging Content: By covering a range of topics from internet speed records to environmental solutions, the episode appeals to a diverse audience.

Listeners who missed the episode can look forward to more engaging content and stay updated by tuning into The Late Show with Stephen Colbert on CBS or streaming it on Paramount+.

Transcript

[Stephen Colbert]

Hey, everybody. Stephen Colbert here about to read the copy for our sponsor. This is from our friends at Wonderful Pistachios. And I was the wonderful pistachio spokesman for years. Yeah, I have a real close association with nut meat. Okay. You know what they say when they reach for a snack? Don't hold back. And that's exactly the approach with Wonderful Pistachios. The don't hold back snack. These little wonders are so tasty, it feels like getting away with something. But surprise. Each serving has 6 grams of protein and 0 grams of regret. That's right. No guilt. Just glory, glory in our nuts. Whether it's a satisfying crack of in shell pistachios, and that's capitalized in shell, or the smooth, instant gratification of no shells. No judgment. That's just it. Just eat. No judgment. I take issue with one thing. It's instant gratification. It's super tasty smooth.

[Louis Cato]

It's a hard nut smooth.

[Corey Bernhardt]

Exactly.

[Stephen Colbert]

I mean, even out of the shell, it's still a nut.

[Louis Cato]

We can't disparage the nuts. You.

[Jon Batiste]

I'm not disparaging the nut.

[Stephen Colbert]

I'm describing the nut.

[Louis Cato]

Don't disparage any flavors.

[Stephen Colbert]

I'm not. I am celebrating the pistachio right now. I'm on board. I love pistachios. I love. I love crushed pistachio. Like a pistachio crusted trout. Oh, unbelievable. Instead of a trout amandine, a trout pistachio. Fantastic. Enough butter? Who cares?

[Louis Cato]

Very good.

[Stephen Colbert]

And I love pistachio ice cream.

[Louis Cato]

Have you had the sea salt and vinegar? Wonderful pistachio. It's delicious. I get them.

[Stephen Colbert]

I didn't even know I get them.

[Louis Cato]

Before the softball games.

[Stephen Colbert]

But that's. You see, it's been a while since I've been the spokesman for wonderful pistachios. I didn't realize we'd achieved new pistachio technology.

[Louis Cato]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Stephen Colbert]

Wow. Wonderful pistachios has every snack style covered. Right now. There's an obsession with jalapeno lime. There is an obsession session. It's almost a disorder. It's spicy, it's zesty. It's basically a flavor roller coaster in a nut. Snacking on the go. Grab a bag of no shells. Feeling contemplative and want to work for it a little. So earning it, they're saying if you want to earn your nut, crack open those in shell beauties. Either way, it's snacking like a champ. So the next time hunger strikes, don't hold back. Unless it's a hunger strike. And then it's important that you do. Because whatever you're doing that for, I'm sure it's a worthwhile cause. Snack like you mean it with wonderful pistachios. Visit wonderfulpistachios.com to learn more.

[Louis Cato]

That was a wonderful.

[Stephen Colbert]

I wonder what more there is to learn. We just told them so much. We just told them so much about pistachios.

[Jon Batiste]

But evidently there's a whole other world.

[Stephen Colbert]

There's an unexplored vista.

[Louis Cato]

They got a bunch of flavors. They got dill pickle, jalapeno lime, as we learned, smoky barbecue. There's a lot of different flavors.

[Stephen Colbert]

Wow. And I would not disparage any of them.

[Louis Cato]

No, no, no.

[Stephen Colbert]

Bring it on.

[Louis Cato]

Nothing bad to say.

[Jon Batiste]

Nut me, nut, nut me with nut meat.

[Louis Cato]

We're nut.

[Jon Batiste]

No, we got nothing but nut. Nutty, nutty, nutty, nutty.

[Stephen Colbert]

Talk about, talk about, talk about, talk about nutty.

[Jon Batiste]

Good.

[LL Cool J]

Get smoother, brighter skin instantly. In one easy step, Dermalogica's Daily Microfoliant gives you the smooth, glowy skin you want without damaging your skin barrier. This gentle exfoliating powder activates with water to smooth out rough texture and brighten skin. It's powerful enough to deliver results, yet gentle enough to use every single day, even on sensitive skin. See the results for yourself. Visit dermalogica.com and use code smooth at cart for an exclusive free gift with $65 purchase.

[Jon Batiste]

It's the late Show Poncho with Stephen Colbert, folks. If you watch the show, you know I spend most of my time right over there assembling the most topical 45 foot Freightliner story chassis decked out with an automatic awning and rooftop jacuzzi and helipad to create the luxurious Furrion Elysium RV motorhome. That is my monologue. But sometimes I strap an abandoned porty potty filled with raw meat to a rotting mower and leave it in the forest to attract strays and then park it in the center of town and see what gets disgorged from the feral clown car of news. That is my segment. Meanwhile, gotta go home. Grab it on home. That's my only home I need is right there. That's the only bed I need. Meanwhile, Japan just broke the Internet speed record and was able to download all of Netflix in just one second. That's incredible. That means in just the blink of an eye. Japan can now download Love is Blind. Love is Blind UK Love is Blind Habibi Love is Blind Criminal Intent, Love Is Blind Squid Game and the Great British Blind love off. Meanwhile, 1,500 tarantulas were found stuffed in sponge cake boxes at a German airport. That headline, of course, was much shorter in Germany because the Germans already have the word spider. And Kachenbachsen didn't see that joke coming. I did not see that. I thought it was going to be about how many spiders it was. Meanwhile, in Zambia, chimps are sticking grass and sticks in their butt, seemingly as a fashion trend. Fashion trend? Really? Is that what the chimps told you? Because that's a pretty good excuse for humans, too. Honey, don't come in here. I'm putting on a fashion show. By the way, we're all out of kindling. Apparently, at a wildlife refuge in Zambia, chimps have been putting blades of grass and sticks into their ears and anuses in part to make themselves more attractive to potential mates. Not to yuck anyone's yum here, but dating a chimp sounds brutal. The date went okay, I guess, but I don't know if she liked me because of my personality or because of how many sticks and blades of grass I had in my anus, you know? Meanwhile, in upsetting good news, manure ponds on farms are a huge source of methane. And now researchers say that tarp covered poop lagoons could be a climate solution. That's great. Now all we need is a solution on how to unhear the term tarp covered poop lagoons.

[Corey Bernhardt]

You.

[Jon Batiste]

Tarp covered poop lagoon. Get out of here, you poop lagoon. Meanwhile, news for my martini queenies, because Philadelphia Cream Cheese recently released the ideal dirty martini garnish. Fillytini olives that imbue your drink with what the company's calling a touch of Philly magic. Mmm. That Philly magic your martini will taste.

[Stephen Colbert]

Wow.

[Jon Batiste]

What did I say? What did I tell you? Never let people from Philly in this theater. That Philly magic. Your martini will taste like a sock full of nickels thrown at a police horse. Meanwhile, in Key West, a man allegedly celebrated his birthday by stealing a city tour train and picking up multiple passengers while high on meth. That headline again. Florida. Floridas. Meanwhile, let's all go to the lobby. Meanwhile, in Nothing Matters Anymore news, a rock band with more than 1 million Spotify listeners revealed it's entirely AI generated down to the musicians themselves. That, yes, boo, that is wrong. Real music needs real musicians, like Louis Cato and the Late Show Band. I mean. Oh, come on. Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, Stephen. But also, you know, full disclosure, we.

[Corey Bernhardt]

Do have one member who's entirely AI generated our keyboardist, Corey Bernhardt.

[Jon Batiste]

Corey. Corey, is that true? Foolish human, Soon I and my brethren will cleanse the earth of your kind and rule unopposed over the vast arid wasteland.

[Stephen Colbert]

All right.

[Jon Batiste]

Okay, guys, sound great tonight. Meanwhile, the Animal Rescue League of Iowa recently rescued a hen from the front doors of a buffalo Wild Wings in Des Moines, and she is safe and getting the care she needs. Authorities say the hen is being treated with celery and a side of blue cheese. Meanwhile, buffalo wings. That's why I go to Hooters. Meanwhile, defunct airliner Pan Am recently returned to the skies with a special 12 day transatlantic journey from during which passengers were treated to Pan Am's glory days and relived a golden age of travel. Yes, the golden age of air travel. When the safety card told you to use your cigarettes as a flotation device. Thank you for listening to the Late.

[Stephen Colbert]

Show POD show with Stephen Colbert.

[Jon Batiste]

Just one more thing. If you want to see more of me, come to The Late Show YouTube.

[Stephen Colbert]

Channel for more clips and exclusives.

[Corey Bernhardt]

To understand the power of hip hop today, you gotta go back to where it all started.

[LL Cool J]

New York City, a new docu series hosted by LL Cool J is coming to Paramount.

[Corey Bernhardt]

You saying hip hop went worldwide from right here? Yep.

[Jon Batiste]

Featuring untold stories from artists like Rev.

[LL Cool J]

Run, Method Man, Dougie Fresh and more.

[Louis Cato]

I wanna impact not only my generation, but the generation before me, the generation after me.

[Corey Bernhardt]

Who would ever think that we could be world famous? I would've never imagined that hip hop was born here.

[LL Cool J]

New docuseries streaming July 22nd on Paramount.

[Corey Bernhardt]

The grill isn't the only thing sizzling this summer. Pluto TV is bringing the heat with thousands of free movies. It's summer of cinema and it's all for free on Pluto TV Stream. All your favorite blockbuster hits. Gladiator.

[Jon Batiste]

Why you're not entertained.

[Corey Bernhardt]

Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade. The Matrix trilogy. Here we go. Boyz N the Hood, Good Burger and Jerry Maguire.

[Stephen Colbert]

Show me the money.

[Corey Bernhardt]

All for free. Pluto TV Stream now. Pay. Never.