Podcast Summary: The Late Show Pod Show with Stephen Colbert

Episode: Meanwhile | Coffee Makes You Happy
Date: September 28, 2025

Overview

This episode of The Late Show Pod Show features Stephen Colbert’s iconic “Meanwhile” segment, where he delivers rapid-fire commentary on quirky news stories, pop culture oddities, and scientific finds, all with his trademark satirical wit. The episode’s comedic throughline centers around surprising science—like coffee improving happiness and the attempted revival of dodos—and absurd real-world happenings, from Times Square casinos to shattering Prosecco bottles.

Key Discussion Points

1. Celebrating Asher Perlman’s New Book (01:39)

• Stephen spotlights Late Show writer and cartoonist Asher Perlman’s cartoons and recently released sequel:
  • “Hi, It’s Me Again,” a follow-up to his previous book.
  • Colbert reads a favorite cartoon about coffee’s side effects.
• Quote (Stephen Colbert, 01:57):

  "It’s a guy pouring himself a cup of coffee and he’s saying, ‘I feel alert now, but why stop there? I can also feel sick and insane.’ And I believe you would be sick and insane if you don’t buy this book."

2. The “Meanwhile” Segment Begins (02:20)

• Colbert playfully explains the transition from his main monologue to the "Meanwhile" segment, filled with playful, poetic imagery and mock gravitas.

3. Quirky News Highlights

A. Scuba-Clad Disney Springs Robbery (02:57)

• A man in scuba gear robs a Disney Springs restaurant and flees by swimming—ripe for superhero jokes.
• Quote (Stephen Colbert, 03:01):

  "Well, it finally happened. The one crime that can be solved by Aquaman."

B. Times Square Casino Proposal Rejected (03:22)

• New York City turns down a plan to put a casino in Times Square.
• Quote (Stephen Colbert, 03:52):

  "If you want to gamble in Times Square, you bet on the drunk Elmo fights. Like everybody else. They don’t feel pain. They don’t feel any pain."

C. Dodo Bird Resurrection (04:13)

• Scientists claim dodos could return within a decade—a major bioengineering milestone.
• Colbert jokes about culinary and wine-pairing implications.
• Quote (Stephen Colbert, 04:22):

  "I cannot wait to eat one. I mean, think about it. Do they make their own gravy like chickens? What wine do you pair with them? There are so many scientific questions still unanswered."

D. Central Perk Comes to NYC (04:43)

• Permanent "Friends"-inspired Central Perk coffee shop will open in Times Square.
• Colbert sees it as prime seating to watch "Elmo fights."

E. Record-Setting Pig Kidney Transplant (04:57)

• American man survives six months post pig kidney transplant.
• Colbert wonders about the pig’s well-being.
• Quote (Stephen Colbert, 05:08):

  "How’s the pig doing? Is he okay? ‘Cause that was really nice of that pig. I’d like to send him something."

F. Crack-Resistant Tomatoes (05:32)

• Rutgers researchers develop a new sweet, crack-resistant tomato.
• Colbert riffs on literal and recreational interpretations.
• Quote (Stephen Colbert, 05:42):

  "It would have taken half that time if not for a clerical error that caused them to first make a tomato resistant crack. Yeah, even if you eat a tomato, still feels like you smoke crack."

G. Costco Prosecco Warning (05:59)

• Kirkland Prosecco bottles reportedly shatter spontaneously.
• Quote (Stephen Colbert, 06:07):

  "Kirkland Brand Prosecco doesn’t instill a lot of confidence to begin with. You know their slogan, ‘Whatever, it’s your third wedding.’"

H. Coffee Makes You Happy—Science Confirms (06:24)

• Scientific study backs up: “Your morning cup of coffee really does make you happier.”
• Colbert mocks the obviousness and claims for a comedic effect.
• Quote (Stephen Colbert, 06:28):

  "The author has also published more of their groundbreaking studies such as ‘Sex Feels Nice’ and ‘Africa by Toto actually kind of rocks.’ It does."

I. Raccoon Rescued from Peach Booze (06:46)

• A Kentucky nurse revives a raccoon that passed out from fermented peaches—Colbert embellishes with a “Kentucky-ized” alternate headline.
• Quote (Stephen Colbert, 06:54):

  "The only way it could be more Kentucky is if it said, ‘Nurse saves raccoon’s life with CPR. Realizes they are cousins, celebrates with shots of bourbon, passes out, raccoon saves nurse’s life with CPR.’"

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Morning Coffee:
  Colbert’s satire shines when lampooning scientific “discoveries” about coffee:

  "Science confirms that your morning cup of coffee really does make you happier." (06:24)
  "Sex Feels Nice and Africa by Toto actually kind of rocks. It does." (06:28)

• Asher Perlman Plug:

  "I believe you would be sick and insane if you don't buy this book." (01:57)

• On Pig Kidney Transplants:

  "How's the pig doing? ... ‘Cause that was really nice of that pig. I’d like to send him something." (05:08)

• On Elmo in Times Square:

  "If you want to gamble in Times Square, you bet on the drunk Elmo fights. Like everybody else. They don't feel pain." (03:52)

• On Kirkland Brand Prosecco:

  "Whatever, it’s your third wedding." (06:07)

Important Timestamps

| Timestamp | Segment/Topic | |-----------|-----------------------------------------------| | 01:39 | Show opens, Asher Perlman’s book spotlight | | 02:20 | "Meanwhile" segment begins | | 02:57 | Scuba robbery at Disney Springs | | 03:22 | Times Square casino proposal nixed | | 04:13 | Dodo reintroduction science | | 04:43 | Central Perk coffee shop announcement | | 04:57 | Pig kidney transplant record | | 05:32 | Crack-resistant tomato innovation | | 05:59 | Shattering Kirkland Prosecco | | 06:24 | Coffee’s positive effects confirmed by science| | 06:46 | Nurse saves drunk raccoon in Kentucky |

Tone and Style

Colbert’s delivery blends sharp satire, playful absurdism, and the warmth of late-night camaraderie. He finds the comic angle in both the sublime and ridiculous, tying random news together with his self-aware, ever-jovial tone, peppering the episode with puns, callbacks, and offbeat “meanwhile” segues.

For New Listeners

You get a whirlwind tour of oddball news, pop culture nods, and clever late-night commentary—no need for prior knowledge. Colbert’s “Meanwhile” distills daily weirdness with humor and affection, making even the silliest stories feel both relevant and hysterical.