Meanwhile | Croc Collection

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Late Show Pod Show with Stephen Colbert

Episode: Meanwhile | Croc Collection
Date: September 7, 2025
Host: Stephen Colbert

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Episode Overview

This episode features Stephen Colbert’s signature “Meanwhile” segment, where he takes a lively detour from topical monologue to highlight the oddest, funniest, and most irresistibly random happenings in the news. Ranging from animal hijinks and healthy living warnings to celebrity marriages and extraordinary Croc shoe collections, Stephen delivers a rapid-fire dose of satire, clever commentary, and pure comedic delight. The episode also includes a shoutout to staff writer Kate Sidley’s new book and ends on a whimsically triumphant “Crocs collector” headline.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Spotlight on Kate Sidley’s Book

Timestamp: 01:39 – 02:41

• Stephen introduces Kate Sidley, an esteemed writer on his team, and gives a heartfelt, humorous plug for her newly released book, How to Be a Saint.
• He jokes about the foreword (which he wrote himself) and teases the audience to “buy in bulk” for bonus salvation:

  “Every copy you buy gets you that much closer to heaven. And some of you need to buy in bulk.” (Stephen Colbert, 01:57)

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2. “Meanwhile” Segment – News Oddities and Observations

Timestamp: 02:42 – 07:16

Stephen’s whirlwind tour of bizarre headlines and humorous asides includes:

Onions Are Bad for Cats

• Onions can cause severe anemia in cats, threatening their ability to “sleep 23 hours a day.”

  “Meanwhile, experts are warning that onions have been found to be terrible for the health of cats and can cause severe anemia, which could interfere with them sleeping 23 hours a day.” (Stephen Colbert, 02:58)

Rats Fighting on the Subway

• Commentary on a viral video of two NYC rats brawling:

  “Guys, guys, guys, come on. This is New York City subway. There’s plenty of poop and garbage for everyone.” (Stephen Colbert, 03:17)

Smartphone Use on the Toilet

• Scientists link prolonged toilet phone use to higher hemorrhoid risk. Stephen lampoons his own online habits:

  “I read about this on the toilet this morning … which reminded me I hadn’t seen Lawrence of Arabia in a while. So I streamed that. You haven’t seen him crossing the nefut until you’ve watched it on an iPhone.” (Stephen Colbert, 03:35)

Toothpaste Ingredients: Sheep’s Wool and Human Hair

• The bizarre future of toothpaste innovation:

  “Explains those ads that say four to five dentists just threw up in their mouth a little.” (Stephen Colbert, 03:55)

David Byrne Marriage Announcement

• Witty take on Talking Heads frontman’s nuptials:

  "When a wedding comes on you that quickly, you may ask yourself, how did I get here? ... but it is [your beautiful wife].” (Stephen Colbert, 04:08)

Bear in an Ice Cream Shop

• A Lake Tahoe bear makes headlines for indulging in ice cream—and enforcing strict sampling limits.

Decision Doubts

• Americans allegedly second-guess 41% of daily decisions:

  “I’ll buy that. Or would I? ... Or was it?” (Stephen Colbert, 04:56)

Can Fish Feel Pleasure?

• New studies spark Stephen’s culinary guilt:

  “Now there’s nothing left to filet O.” (Stephen Colbert, 05:30)

Viral Baseball Popcorn Kid

• Cheering on a boy eating popcorn with full enthusiasm:

  "Find someone who loves you like this.” (Stephen Colbert, 05:54)

Crocs Collection Record

• The headliner: A Connecticut man named Doogie Sandtiger reportedly owns 3,800+ pairs of Crocs.

  “Even more amazing, the man’s name is, and this is totally real, Doogie Sandtiger.” (Stephen Colbert, 06:10)

• Stephen riffs on the resemblance to the TV show “Doogie Howser, M.D.”

  "Named of course for the popular TV drama where Neil Patrick Harris played a surprisingly young sand tiger." (Stephen Colbert, 06:20)

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Quotes and Memorable Moments

• “It’s got a foreword by a young promising man named Stephen Colbert in there. The rest of the book is even better than the foreword.” (Stephen Colbert, 01:50)
• “You may tell yourself, that is not my beautiful wife, but it is.” (Stephen Colbert, 04:16)
• “Ladies, ladies, listen to me. Find someone who loves you like this.” (Stephen Colbert, 05:54)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• 01:39 – Shoutout to Kate Sidley & her book
• 02:42 – “Meanwhile” segment opens
• 02:58 – Onion warning for cats
• 03:17 – Fighting rats on subway
• 03:35 – Phone use and hemorrhoid risk
• 03:55 – Toothpaste ingredient oddities
• 04:08 – Talking Heads’ David Byrne wedding
• 04:56 – Americans’ second-guessing
• 05:30 – Fish and feelings
• 05:54 – Viral baseball popcorn kid
• 06:10 – Crocs collector record

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Tone & Style

Stephen Colbert’s playful, quick-witted satire runs throughout, with frequent self-referential gags and enthusiastic asides. The tone is warm, irreverent, and inclusive—a comedic retreat from daily headlines into the more peculiar, delightful corners of contemporary life.

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Summary for New Listeners

This episode is a compact, high-energy dose of Colbert’s wit and worldview. Even if you missed the show, you’ll get a taste of his comedic style—equal parts observational, absurd, and affectionate—especially as delivered in the ever-delightful “Meanwhile” segment. There’s something for every aficionado of quirky news, from animal escapades to jaw-dropping world records.

Transcript

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[A]

It's the Late Show Poncho with Stephen Colbert.

[C]

Folks, I don't want to shatter anyone's illusions, but I have writers on this show and one of them is a brilliant woman named Kate Sidley. There's Kate right there. And she just. Kate is a powerhouse comedy writer and she just released her first book, how to Be a Saint. Okay, pretty picture of a man holding his own head right there. It's got a foreword by a young promising man named Stephen Colbert in there. It's a. The rest of the book is even better than the foreword. It's a funny book. It's a fantastic book. And every copy you buy gets you that much closer to heaven. And some of you need to buy in bulk. Go get it. All right now, folks, if you watch this show, if you watch this show, you know I spend most of my time right over there in the Old News construction site, sourcing the finest locally quarried sandstone to form a revolutionary asymmetrical floor plan with multiple outdoor terraces on exposed cantilevers over the Falling water of a fresh mountain stream to build for you the Frank Lloyd Wright designed masterpiece that is my nightly monologue. But sometimes, just sometimes, folks, after being caught match fixing a raccoon fight, I strip down the canvas sign from a derelict spirit Halloween and throw it over the rusted out hulk of an abandoned 1983 Ford Sierra and hide out in the tramp cabana of news. That is my segment. Meanwhile, right there. That is shelter from the storm right there. Meanwhile, experts are warning that onions have been found to be terrible for the health of cats and can cause severe anemia, which could interfere with them sleeping 23 hours a day. Meanwhile, there's a video going viral of two New York City rats fighting on a subway platform. Let him go. Zoom bang. Yah. Guys, guys, guys, come on. This is New York City subway. There's plenty of poop and garbage for everyone. Meanwhile, in health news, scientists say that prolonged smartphone use on the toilet could be linked to a higher risk of hemorrhoids. Yeah, I read about this on the toilet this morning, which article linked to another story about gut health. And then I wound up watching a TikTok of a hamster dancing on a beach, which reminded me I hadn't seen Lawrence of Arabia in a while. So I streamed that you haven't seen him crossing the nefut until you've watched it on an iPhone. Meanwhile, toothpaste may soon be upgraded to contain sheep's wool and human hair. Explains those ads that say four to five dentists just threw up in their mouth a little. Next up in surprise music, matrimony news, legendary Talking Heads frontman David Byrne says he will get married this week. And I'm told we have a picture of his wedding tux. There you go. Congratulations, David. Happy for you. Just a heads up, it's only a week away. When a wedding comes on you that quickly, you may ask yourself, how did I get here? You may tell yourself, that is not my beautiful wife, but it is. Meanwhile, out in Lake Tahoe, a bear was recently found behind the counter of an ice cream shop. Even worse, he only allowed one sample per customer. Meanwhile, a new study has found that the average American second guesses 41% of their daily decisions. I'll buy that. Or would I? Okay, that joke was worth doing. Or was it? Or was it? Meanwhile, scientists have discovered that fish may feel pleasure. No, damn it. Fish was the only living thing left that I felt zero guilt about. Pigs are smart, cows are friendly, lambs are adorable, and chickens are mean, which I respect. But fish? Now there's nothing left to filet O Meanwhile, video went viral last weekend of this kid at a Major League baseball game eating popcorn the way it was truly meant to be eaten. Hell yeah. Get in there, boy. Ladies, ladies, listen to me. Find someone who loves you like this. Fantastic. Meanwhile, in Shoe News or Shoes, there's a new world record because a Connecticut man has collected more than 3,800 pairs of Crocs. Even more amazing, the man's name is, and this is totally real Doogie Sandtiger. Wow. Named of course for the popular TV drama where Neil Patrick Harris played a surprisingly young sand tiger. Thank you for listening to the Late Show Pod show with Stephen Colbert. Just one more thing. If you want to see more of me, come to The Late Show YouTube channel for more clips and exclusives.

[A]

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[C]

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