The Late Show Pod Show with Stephen Colbert
Episode: Meanwhile | Finland Still Loves Stephen Colbert
Release Date: December 15, 2024

Introduction

In this lively episode of The Late Show Pod Show with Stephen Colbert, aired on December 15, 2024, host Stephen Colbert delivers his signature blend of humor, sharp commentary, and engaging storytelling. The episode, titled "Meanwhile | Finland Still Loves Stephen Colbert," delves into a variety of topical stories, international anecdotes, and Colbert’s unique interactions with global media—all while maintaining his characteristic wit and charm.

Monologue Highlights

1. Francis Ford Coppola’s Apology for Sequels
Colbert opens his monologue by addressing Hollywood's obsession with movie sequels, highlighting a fictional apology from director Francis Ford Coppola:

Stephen Colbert [00:29]: “Francis Ford Coppola has apologized for starting Hollywood's sequel obsession, saying I'm the jerk that started numbers on movies. I'm embarrassed and I apologize to everyone.”
Colbert humorously laments his inadvertent influence on the film industry’s trend toward sequels, underscoring the oversaturation of franchises like The Godfather series.

2. Record-Breaking Centenarian Wedding
He shares a heartwarming and humorous story about a couple marrying in their advanced age:

Stephen Colbert [00:29]: “A record-breaking couple got married in their hundreds. Congratulations to Marjorie Feiderman 102 and Bernie Littman 100. Let me be the first to say to the happy couple, so when are you guys having kids?”
Colbert playfully teases the idea of centenarians considering having children, blending humor with genuine congratulations.

3. Pantone’s 2025 Color of the Year: Mocha Mousse
Addressing design and lifestyle trends, Colbert muses over Pantone’s selection:

Stephen Colbert [00:29]: “Pantone has announced its 2025 color of the Year, its Mocha mousse, which Pantone says nurtures with its suggestion of the delectable quality of cacao, chocolate and coffee. Well, sure, just because we like a drink doesn't mean we should be putting that color on our walls.”
He humorously contrasts the appealing description of the color with his personal preference, remarking on his regret:
Stephen Colbert [00:29]: “I still regret painting my living room Mountain Dew Electric Whiz.”

4. Sam’s Club Holiday-Themed Hot Dogs
Colbert comments on Sam’s Club’s quirky holiday promotions:

Stephen Colbert [00:29]: “Sam's Club is offering free holiday themed hot dogs, including one topped with pumpkin pie, which is slightly misleading because while the hot dogs are technically free, you will pay a price.”
He riffs on the unconventional combinations offered, poking fun at the novelty items' names and their bizarre flavor pairings: Stephen Colbert [00:29]: “Frankly Both is also the answer to the question, what type of diabetes did that candy cane hot dog give you? Frankly. Wow.”

Finland Segment: "Finland Still Loves Stephen Colbert"

A standout portion of the episode is Colbert’s humorous exploration of his unexpected popularity in Finland. He recounts how the Finnish newspaper Helsingin Sanomat continuously mentions him, leading to a recursive cycle of mentions:

Stephen Colbert [05:31]: “Finland's best and I'm starting to think the world's best newspaper, Helsingen Sanomat. You'll recall that a few weeks ago in the fancy part of my Meanwhile intro, I glowingly mentioned Finland's national dish.”
He playfully criticizes the newspaper’s enthusiastic coverage:
Stephen Colbert [05:31]: “They have once again mentioned me mentioning their mentioning of me mentioning them.”
Colbert showcases his trademark self-deprecating humor as he navigates this loop of mutual mentions: Stephen Colbert [05:31]: “I mean, just listen to how they rave about me. Toysa wie hola hans vertasi avaus monologuen vit siti kitista suomalesen.”

He contemplates the unique connection he shares with the Finnish audience, questioning whether this phenomenon signifies a deeper cultural bond:

Stephen Colbert [05:31]: “Am I starting to feel a vibe here? As you yourself have pointed out in my Meanwhile intros, over the years, I have gushed about virtually every culture on this planet... But you're the only one who noticed. Twice.”

The segment culminates in a humorous acknowledgment of the recursive nature of his mentions in Finland:

Stephen Colbert [05:31]: “If you were to mention this mention of you mentioning me mentioning you mentioning me mentioning you, we all know where that's going to lead.”

International News Segment

Expanding his comedic lens beyond America, Colbert delves into a series of international stories, each infused with his signature humor and insightful commentary.

1. Japan’s Drinkable Mayo: Nomu

Stephen Colbert [07:16]: “Well, I'm guessing heart disease because the land of the rising sun has a new beverage, nomu, which is described as a drinkable mayo.”
He jokes about the unconventional nature of a mayo-based drink:
Stephen Colbert [07:16]: “If you're depressed enough now, you might be saying, Steve, couldn't I get ptomaine poisoning from drinking a room temperature glass of mayo?”

2. Israel’s Auction of the Ten Commandments Stone Tablet
Colbert highlights the impending auction of an ancient artifact:

Stephen Colbert [07:16]: “The oldest known stone tablet inscribed with the ten commandments is going to be auctioned off. Let’s take a look at the commandments.”
He humorously questions the artifact’s significance and practical use:
Stephen Colbert [07:16]: “That is either the word of God carved into living rock or a close up of one of those magic eraser sponges you should probably throw out by now.”

3. New Zealand’s Ban on Greyhound Racing
Addressing animal welfare, Colbert remarks on New Zealand’s decision:

Stephen Colbert [07:16]: “New Zealand, which plans to outlaw greyhound racing. And it's about damn time. Hopefully. Yes, hopefully now this country will follow their lead and outlaw having them drive our buses. It is inhumane.”

4. Italy Reveals Santa Claus’s Real Face
Colbert discusses the scientific recreation of Santa Claus’s visage:

Stephen Colbert [07:16]: “Italy where researchers say the real face of Santa Claus has been revealed after 1700 years. Thanks to scientists using data from the skull of St Nicholas of Myra forensically recreate his white bearded likeness. Well, that's a fun holiday story for the little ones. Hey, guess what, kids? Santa is real and he's dead.”

5. England’s Viral Smooth Mars Bar
Poking fun at a viral snack mishap in England, Colbert comments:

Stephen Colbert [07:16]: “This guy was trying to enjoy a Mars bar when he'd realized he'd gotten a smooth Mars bar that did not have the signature suggestive ripple. And everyone knows the Mars bar has to have that ripple. Getting a ripple less Mars bar is like getting two musketeers or an almond clinically depressed.”

6. Colombia’s Arrest of the Hit Woman "Dollar"
Colbert covers a crime story with a playful twist on nicknames:

Stephen Colbert [07:16]: “Colombia, where authorities announced that a Colombian hit woman known as the Dollar was arrested for several murders. Police describe her as the most murderous doll since Leigh Barbie Oswald.”

Conclusion

Wrapping up the episode, Colbert invites listeners to engage with The Late Show across various platforms:

Stephen Colbert [07:16]: “Thank you for listening to the Late Show Pod show with Stephen Colbert. Just one more thing. If you want to see more of me, come to The Late Show YouTube channel for more clips and exclusives.”
He seamlessly transitions into promotional content, ensuring listeners are aware of additional content and viewing options available through CBS and Paramount+.

Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Francis Ford Coppola Apology:

  "Francis Ford Coppola has apologized for starting Hollywood's sequel obsession, saying I'm the jerk that started numbers on movies. I'm embarrassed and I apologize to everyone." [00:29]

• Centenarian Wedding Tease:

  "Let me be the first to say to the happy couple, so when are you guys having kids?" [00:29]

• Pantone Color Commentary:

  "I still regret painting my living room Mountain Dew Electric Whiz." [00:29]

• Sam's Club Hot Dogs Humor:

  "Frankly Both is also the answer to the question, what type of diabetes did that candy cane hot dog give you? Frankly. Wow." [00:29]

• Finland Recursive Mentions:

  "If you were to mention this mention of you mentioning me mentioning you mentioning me mentioning you, we all know where that's going to lead." [05:31]

• Japanese Drinkable Mayo Joke:

  "Don't you worry. The mayo is described as a chilled drink because drinking hot mayo would be unpleasant." [07:16]

• Israel's Ten Commandments Tablet:

  "That is either the word of God carved into living rock or a close up of one of those magic eraser sponges you should probably throw out by now." [07:16]

• Santa Claus’s Real Face in Italy:

  "Hey, guess what, kids? Santa is real and he's dead." [07:16]

• England’s Smooth Mars Bar Analogy:

  "Getting a ripple less Mars bar is like getting two musketeers or an almond clinically depressed." [07:16]

• Colombia’s Murderous Doll Description:

  "Police describe her as the most murderous doll since Leigh Barbie Oswald." [07:16]

Final Thoughts

Stephen Colbert masterfully balances humor with insightful commentary in this episode, providing listeners with a satirical yet thoughtful take on both domestic and international news. From poking fun at Hollywood trends and holiday concoctions to exploring his unexpected fame in Finland, Colbert ensures a captivating listening experience that is both entertaining and reflective. Whether you're a long-time fan or new to The Late Show Pod Show, this episode offers a rich tapestry of jokes, observations, and memorable moments that encapsulate Colbert's unique comedic voice.

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