Podcast Summary: The Late Show Pod Show with Stephen Colbert
Episode: "Meanwhile | Googly Eyes"
Release Date: December 22, 2024
The Late Show Pod Show with Stephen Colbert delivers its signature blend of humor, wit, and insightful commentary in the "Meanwhile | Googly Eyes" episode. Stephen Colbert navigates through a series of quirky and amusing news segments, each introduced with his characteristic charm and sharp comedic edge. This summary captures the key discussions, memorable quotes, and overarching themes of the episode.
Personal Monologue: Crafting and Chaos [00:37]
Stephen opens the episode with an elaborate and humorous monologue about his intricate process of crafting bespoke shoes. He describes selecting "the finest, most topical calfskin story leather" and hand-shaping a personalized last, culminating in the creation of the "modern yet timeless Yohei Fuduka Quarter Brogue Oxford." His detailed description sets a playful tone, blending craftsmanship with absurdity.
Quote:
"I spend most of my time right over there in the news workshop selecting the finest, most topical calfskin story leather and hand shaping a personalized last which I used to form a hand welted upper sole and insole with decorative preparations on the vamp with a hand stitched sole to create the modern yet timeless Yohei Fuduka Quarter Brogue Oxford." [00:37]
He transitions seamlessly into a wild narrative about fleeing barefoot on a stolen quad bike, spinning out in a marsh, and using frayed bungee cords and empty Gatorade bottles to survive, thereby introducing his segment on the day's "Meanwhile" stories.
Meanwhile in Bend, Oregon: Googly Eyes Vandalism [01:45]
Colbert highlights a whimsical act of vandalism in Bend, Oregon, where an individual has placed googly eyes on various city sculptures. He juxtaposes the act between frustration and delight, emphasizing the community's positive reception.
Quote:
"Meanwhile in Bend, Oregon, authorities after someone put googly eyes on various sculptures in the city. Oh come on. You're going to get mad about that. It's fun." [02:10]
He humorously suggests that if iconic characters like Bambi's mom had googly eyes, they might have avoided danger, adding a playful twist to the vandalism narrative.
Quote:
"If Bambi's mom had had those eyes, maybe she'd have seen that hunter coming. Okay. Or what? Too soon." [02:25]
A local resident's heartfelt comment underscores the positive impact of the antics, blending humor with a touch of sincerity.
Quote:
"One person even commenting these googly eyes give me the hope to move forward each day." [02:40]
Colbert further elaborates on the human need for lightheartedness, poking fun at the obsession with daily positivity.
Quote:
"I don't love the idea of someone leaving their house each morning saying I swear to God if I don't see some lighthearted vandalism today, I am, I am going to lose it." [02:55]
Meanwhile in England: Rescued Feline [03:10]
The episode shifts to a lighthearted rescue operation in England, where firefighters save a cat trapped in a drainpipe. Colbert infuses humor by attributing personality to the feline rescuer.
Quote:
"Don't you worry, they cut out that section of the pipe containing the cat and boy did she look happy. That is a face that says I will immediately do this again." [03:30]
This segment showcases Colbert's talent for finding humor in everyday heroics.
Meanwhile: Humpback Whale's Marathon Swim [04:00]
Colbert presents an amusing take on animal behavior, focusing on a male humpback whale that swam an unprecedented three oceans and 8,000 miles driven by mating instincts. He jokes about the whale's subsequent "swim of shame."
Quote:
"Meanwhile, a love struck male humpback whale swam a record breaking three oceans and 8,000 miles for sex. I'm sure it seemed worth it until the next morning when he had to do the 8,000 mile swim of shame." [04:20]
His playful wordplay continues as he references "krill goggles" and the elusive nature of the whale's "veil."
Quote:
"Boy, I really had the krill goggles on last night. Can't quite get the. Can't get the veil." [04:35]
Meanwhile in Seattle: Jewelry Thieves' Flawed Escape [05:00]
In Seattle, suspected jewelry thieves attempt a comically ineffective escape by rowboat, only to be apprehended by the police. Colbert mocks the choice of escape vehicle and the lack of sophistication in their plan.
Quote:
"A pair of suspected jewelry thieves attempted to escape by rowboat before being arrested. A rowboat was there. No slower escape vehicle available." [05:05]
He continues to lampoon their failed strategy, contrasting it with more sophisticated methods like getaway blimps and night vision cameras.
Quote:
"By the way, that's not a night vision camera. They did it in broad daylight." [05:20]
Krispy Kreme Cyber Attack: Donuts Under Siege [05:40]
Colbert addresses a seemingly trivial yet humorous national emergency: the disruption of Krispy Kreme's online orders due to a cyber attack. He personifies the stakes involved in protecting beloved treats.
Quote:
"Meanwhile, and I don't mean to alarm you, but we are in the midst of a national emergency because Krispy Kreme online orders were disrupted in a cyber attack. We can't let hackers take our donuts. They already have our cookies." [05:40]
Meanwhile in Toronto: Excel World Champion [06:00]
Highlighting niche competitions, Colbert discusses Michael Jarman's victory in the 2024 Microsoft Excel World Championships, blending admiration with humor about the specificity of the title.
Quote:
"Meanwhile, Toronto's Michael Jarman just won the 2024 Microsoft Excel world championships and is now the world champion of spreadsheets. Pretty sure those are the only sheets he's the champion of." [06:00]
Genital Herpes Statistics: A Grim Reality [06:20]
Shifting to a more serious note, Colbert presents alarming statistics on genital herpes prevalence worldwide, utilizing repetition for comedic effect while highlighting public health concerns.
Quote:
"Health experts now say that worldwide, 846 million people are infected with genital herpes. And with a population of 8.2 billion globally, that means 1 in every 9 people in the world has herpes. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8. Herpes." [06:20]
His repetitive chanting underscores the severity and widespread nature of the issue.
Dangerous Toy Alert: Gilbert U238 Atomic Energy Laboratory [06:50]
Concluding with a nostalgic yet cautionary tale, Colbert discusses the Gilbert U238 Atomic Energy Laboratory toy from the early 1950s. He humorously laments the lack of safety awareness in its design.
Quote:
"One of the most dangerous toys of all time is up for sale. This early 1950s Gilbert U238 Atomic Energy Laboratory, complete with real uranium ore samples. Even the kid on the box knew how dangerous it was. Ooh, I should have probably put on some lead under ooze." [06:50]
He notes the toy's historical significance and its infamous reputation, ranking it among the "10 Most Dangerous Toys of all time," with a playful jab at the top spot.
Quote:
"Unsurprisingly, Production ceased in 1951 due to government restrictions, and in 2006, it was named one of the 10 Most Dangerous Toys of all time. The top spot, of course, went to the Fisher Price. My first machete." [06:50]
Conclusion
Stephen Colbert wraps up the episode with a blend of gratitude and promotion, encouraging listeners to explore more content on The Late Show YouTube channel. The episode masterfully balances humor with topical commentary, ensuring both entertainment and engagement for its audience.
Final Note:
"Thank you for listening to the Late Show Pod show with Stephen Colbert. Just one more thing. If you want to see more of me, come to The Late Show YouTube channel for more clips and exclusives." [06:50]
This detailed summary encapsulates the humor, variety, and insightful observations that Stephen Colbert brings to the "Meanwhile | Googly Eyes" episode, making it accessible and engaging for both regular listeners and newcomers.