Meanwhile | Mark Hamill's Wardrobe Malfunction

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Late Show Pod Show with Stephen Colbert

Episode: Meanwhile | Mark Hamill's Wardrobe Malfunction
Release Date: February 23, 2025
Host: Stephen Colbert
Produced by: CBS

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Introduction

In this episode of The Late Show Pod Show with Stephen Colbert, host Stephen Colbert delivers his signature blend of humor, satire, and insightful commentary. The episode, titled "Meanwhile | Mark Hamill's Wardrobe Malfunction," delves into a variety of topical subjects ranging from unusual animal antics to bizarre human behaviors, culminating in a memorable segment featuring a wardrobe mishap by actor Mark Hamill.

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Opening Monologue

Stephen Colbert opens the episode with his unique monologue, blending culinary metaphors with current events. He humorously describes his role in crafting monologues as akin to preparing a sophisticated dish:

"I spend most of my time right over there in the news workshop. Hand carving a topical baroque Louis can story frame with ornate scrolled feet... that is my monologue."
— Stephen Colbert [02:32]

Colbert juxtaposes this refined image with absurd scenarios, highlighting the eclectic nature of his news segments:

"But sometimes, just sometimes, folks, I beach a stolen bootlegger submarine in a pit mine's drainage creek..."
— Stephen Colbert [02:32]

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"Meanwhile" Segments

Animal Antics

Colbert transitions into the recurring "Meanwhile" segment, where he presents amusing and peculiar news stories. This episode features several animal-related incidents:

1. Loose Seal in New Haven, Connecticut:

   • A seal is found wandering downtown, leaving local police baffled. The Department of Energy and Environmental Protection collaborate to safely retrieve the animal.
   • Colbert quips about the mishap with a nod to the seal's Yale affiliations:

     "Come on, just say you go to Yale."
     — Stephen Colbert [04:10]

2. Seal in a Netherlands Hotel:

   • A guest discovers a seal in her hotel room, leading to humorous speculation about where the seal might be waiting within the establishment.
   • The mischievous seal causes chaos by consuming all the Toblerones in the mini-fridge and accessing inappropriate content:

     "The seal ate all the Toblerones in the mini fridge and ordered a ton of porn."
     — Stephen Colbert [04:45]

3. Possum's Cake Heist in Nebraska:

   • A possum becomes a viral sensation after consuming an entire Costco cake, leading to its admission into a rehab facility.
   • Colbert empathizes with the creature's struggles:

     "My friends, that possum is all of us. You cope however you need to, buddy."
     — Stephen Colbert [08:02]

Human Oddities

Colbert also highlights unusual human behaviors, particularly focusing on subway-related stories in New York City:

1. Subway Fare Evasion Arrest:

   • A woman gives birth on a subway train and is subsequently arrested for fare evasion. She receives assistance from fellow passengers before being taken into custody.
   • Colbert mockingly refers to the baby's nickname:

     "Next turn we're going Vice Olio de la Puerta... Ray Tactical Baby."
     — Stephen Colbert [05:24]

2. Metal Shields on Turnstiles:

   • The MTA installs metal shields in an attempt to prevent fare evasion, which Colbert criticizes as ineffective:

     "They are terrible. That's not a criminal deterrent. That's the thing you use to smooth the icing on a cake."
     — Stephen Colbert [05:24]

3. Birth and Fare Evasion Commentary:

   • Colbert humorously narrates the absurdity of arresting someone who has just given birth on the subway:

     "Oh, you can warm your sk."
     — Stephen Colbert [09:14]

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Business Spotlight: Shopify

In a seamless integration of sponsored content, Colbert discusses the essential role of Shopify in powering successful businesses like Aloe Allbirds and Skims. He emphasizes Shopify's robust checkout system and Shop Pay feature that enhances sales conversions:

"Nobody does selling better than Shopify, home of the number one checkout on the planet..."
— Stephen Colbert [08:02]

Colbert highlights the importance of having a reliable commerce platform to support businesses in an increasingly digital marketplace.

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Featured Segment: Mark Hamill's Wardrobe Malfunction

The highlight of the episode centers around a humorous recounting of actor Mark Hamill experiencing a wardrobe malfunction during the BAFTAs.

1. Incident Description:

   • Colbert describes how Hamill's pants fell down on stage, yet he continued his presentation without missing a beat:

     "The man's pants straight up fall down, but he keeps rocking that prompter without missing a word."
     — Stephen Colbert [13:46]

2. Audience and Crew Reactions:

   • The host shares audience reactions and behind-the-scenes footage capturing the moment:

     "We have footage of someone in the audience when Hamill's pants fell down... That's no moon."
     — Stephen Colbert [13:53]

3. Colbert's Tribute:

   • Offering support and admiration for Hamill's professionalism, Colbert invokes a quote from Master Yoda:

     "Mark we salute you. You're a hero of awards presenters everywhere."
     — Stephen Colbert [14:00]

4. Humorous Remarks:

   • Colbert lightens the moment with a playful reference to Star Wars:

     "The force is strong with this one."
     — Stephen Colbert [13:46]

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Concluding Remarks

Stephen Colbert wraps up the episode by thanking listeners and directing them to additional content:

"Thank you for listening to the Late Show Pod Show with Stephen Colbert. Just one more thing..."
— Stephen Colbert [15:06]

He directs fans to the show's YouTube channel for more exclusive clips and announces a promotional collaboration with Jeff Probst for "Survivor" podcast content:

"If you want to see more of me, come to The Late Show YouTube channel for more clips and exclusives."
— Stephen Colbert [15:06]

The episode concludes with a promotional message from Jeff Probst about the new season of "Survivor" and its official podcast, "On Fire."

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Notable Quotes and Moments

• Colbert on Learning Languages:

  "Don't put off learning that language. There's no better time than right now to get started."
  — Stephen Colbert [02:17]

• On Subway Turnstile Shields:

  "That's the thing you use to smooth the icing on a cake. It would be more effective to just hang a sign on it that says..."
  — Stephen Colbert [05:24]

• Mark Hamill's Professionalism:

  "Mark we salute you... You're a hero of awards presenters everywhere."
  — Stephen Colbert [14:00]

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Conclusion

This episode of The Late Show Pod Show with Stephen Colbert masterfully blends humor with current events, offering listeners a mix of lighthearted anecdotes and sharp social commentary. From animal capers and subway shenanigans to a memorable celebration of Mark Hamill's composure under pressure, Colbert delivers an engaging and entertaining experience for both regular listeners and newcomers alike.

Transcript

[Narrator]

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[Narrator]

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[Narrator]

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[Advertiser]

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[Narrator]

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[Advertiser]

With that in mind, there's no better tool than Rosetta Stone, the most trusted language learning program available on desktop and mobile. Rosetta Stone immerses you in the language so you truly learn to think, speak and understand it naturally. With Rosetta Stone's intuitive approach. There are no English translations, you're fully immersed, and the Built in True Accent feature acts like a personal accent coach, giving you real time feedback to make sure you sound just right. Don't put off learning that language. There's no better time than right now to get started.

[Narrator]

Start the new year off with a.

[Advertiser]

Resolution you can reach today.

[Narrator]

Listeners can take advantage of this Rosetta Stone's lifetime membership for 50% off, visit RosettaStone.com RS10. That's 50% off.

[Advertiser]

Unlimited access to 25 language courses for the rest of your Life.

[Narrator]

Redeem your 50% off at rosettastone.com RS10 today it's the late Show Pont show.

[Stephen Colbert]

With Stephen Colbert.

[Narrator]

Folks.

[Stephen Colbert]

If you watch the show. You know, I spend most of my time right over there in the news workshop. Hand carving a topical baroque Louis can story frame with ornate scrolled feet and adorned with 24 karat gold leaf detailing a signature center shell motif lightly rubbed with a white glaze to create the timelessly sophisticated David Michael tufted king upholstered bed. That is my monologue. But sometime, just sometimes, folks, I beach a stolen bootlegger submarine in a pit mine's drainage creek, then yank the tarp off an abandoned slag pile and stuff it with wet garbage and leaf litter and then hunker down in the smuggler's junk bunk of news. That is my segment. Meanwhile, there you go. Shelter from the storm, my friend. Shelter from the storm. Meanwhile, in high velocity pet owner news, a DUI suspect caught speeding at over 130 miles per hour said he was in a rush to see his cat, to which the cat responded, who are you? Meanwhile, it's time for another installment of our Meanwhile subsegment animal in the Human All Seals edition. First up, first up. In Connecticut, police are baffled by the appearance of a loose seal in downtown New Haven. Come on, just say you go to Yale. New Haven. The seal is now safe as members of the Department of Energy and Environmental Protection assisted in retrieving him. Seems like a successful rescue mission to me. Seals. That was here in America. Meanwhile, over seals in the Netherlands, a guest found a seal sleeping in her hotel room. Which means somewhere else in that hotel, there's a lonely seal patiently waiting. That's what you do. Right after she found the intruder, the guest called the hotel and asked the sea animal rescue team to help remove the seal. The guest also informed the hotel that before it was taken away, the seal ate all the Toblerones in the mini fridge and ordered a ton of porn. Meanwhile, here in New York City, the MTA has installed metal shields on turnstiles at subway stations in a feeble attempt to stop fair beating. Okay, feeble is a little judgmental. They can't be all that bad, okay? They are. They're terrible. That's not a criminal deterrent. That's the thing you use to smooth the icing on a cake. It would be more effective to just hang a sign on it that says.

[Guest]

Come on guys, stop.

[Stephen Colbert]

But while this may look stupid, it also don't work because reporters witnessed a young man easily clear the additional hurdle as he raced to catch his train while a young woman crawled underneath the bar. She then used the 290 she saved to get hosed down with Purell after touching the floor of a subway station. We have a second subway story, but this one is about someone giving birth, so you know what that means. Last week, a baby girl was born on a New York City subway train in Midtown, after which she was immediately arrested for fare evasion. Apparently the commuters helped the mother and multiple passengers alerted the conductor that a woman inside a train car had just given birth, after which the conductor alerted all passengers by saying, ladies and gentlemen, the next turn we're going Vice Olio de la Puerta. Next I'll say it calls Ray Tactical Baby. Meanwhile, Duolingo has announced the death of their mascot duo the Owl, adding and you killed him. You and your lack of commitment to learning Spanish. Oh, you said you do one lesson every day and yet here we stand above the rotting corpse of a cartoon owl. Meanwhile, a Japanese tech company is offering hangover leave to attract workers. That is so wonderful and long overdue because studies show the first few hours with your hangover are so important. Hangover leave also gives critical time for dads to get skin to skin contact with their toilet. Meanwhile, good news for people who like to be well informed. And a new AI powered death clock predicts how and when you'll die down to the second. Luckily, a witch already told me how I'll die at age 102 in a knife fight with Paul Giamatti. He's gonna try to take my rice pudding in the day room and I am not your pudding bitch. Paul More Meanwhile, after this.

[Guest]

When you think about businesses that are selling through the roof like Aloe Allbirds or Skims. Sure, you think about a great product, a cool brand and brilliant marketing. But an often overlooked secret is actually the businesses behind the business. Making, selling and for shoppers, buying. Simple for millions of businesses, that business is Shopify. Nobody does selling better than Shopify, home of the number one checkout on the planet and the not so secret secret with shop pay that boosts conversions up to 50, meaning way less carts going abandoned and way more sales going. So if you're into growing your business, your commerce platform better be ready to sell whenever your customers are scrolling or strolling on the web, in your store, in their feed and everywhere in between. Upgrade your business and get the same checkout experience as business powerhouses like Aloe Allbirds and Skims. Sign up for your $1 per month trial [e-mail] OdysseyPodcast all lowercase go to shopify.com OdysseyPodcast to upgrade your selling today. Shopify.com OdysseyPodcast.

[Stephen Colbert]

Folks, if you watch this show, you know I spend most of my time right over there in the news kitchen, carefully browning the most topical Sira Ukreinska story, beef with butter and onion and simmering in stock before cooling it to room temperature and adding parsley and chopped egg. All of which I carefully fold into hand kneaded y dough than bake with an egg wash to make the hearty yet delicate Ukrainian peroshky stuffed meat buns that are my nightly monologue. But sometimes, folks, just sometimes, I wash up in the runoff downstream of a tannery where I stuff a stale McMuffin with ground up raccoon foot and gnaw on the frigid knuckle puck of news that is my segment. Meanwhile, right there. Ooh, you can warm your sk. Meanwhile, a cake bandit possum has gone viral after being admitted to a Nebraska rehab facility for eating an entire Costco cake. My friends, that possum is all of us. You cope however you need to, buddy. Eat a whole cake, drink a can of frosting, and binge. Watch an entire season of love is blind. See if you can figure out who's Madison and who's Megan. Who's Mason. A woman in Nebraska stepped out to find her chocolate cake on the floor of her back porch, brown paw prints on her new beige couch and a panting possum lying on top of it, adding, he was panting a lot. Oh, that's how you know you ate a cake. Good. Okay, his pupils are dilated and his vitals are spiking. Time of cake 3. 47. Meanwhile, Papa John's is introducing a garlic bath bomb based on its dipping sauce. After just one garlic bath bomb, you will smell like Papa John looks. Meanwhile, health trend watchers are saying, forget male Botox. Finance bros are lining up to get penis filler and scrotum filler. Yet another sad example of the pressure on men to live up to the well known preference women have for huge scrotums. Ugh. Rick is amazing. I mean, he's not tall or attractive or wealthy, but he's got a scrotum the size of a duffel bag, apparently. Wow.

[Audience Member]

Wow.

[Stephen Colbert]

Apparently, the procedure involves injecting hyaluronic acid filler into the scrotum's dermal layer, making the scrotum appear larger, fuller and heavier. Oh, and by the way, did I mention how much Rick's scrotum weighs? It's got a real heft to it. It's like a cinch sack full of kettlebells. I'm a lucky girl. And the bros get pretty competitive about it. One Manhattan penisologist who performs the girth enhancing procedure said he's had clients ask him while he was injecting them if this was the most filler he'd ever used. And when he said he'd gone higher, they'd asked him to match that number on the spot. And some clients have ended up with penises over 7.5 inches in circumference greater than their length. And don't get me even started on Rick's penis circumference. Proportions of a can of tuna. And let me tell you, it ain't dolphin safe. We don't make up these stories. Meanwhile, actor Mark Hamill was presenting at the BAFTAs this past weekend, and he seemed to have a bit of a wardrobe malfunction. See if you can spot it.

[Audience Member]

So what makes us love cinema so much that we're all gathered here to celebrate tonight? For me, it's that films create worlds so vivid and stories so powerful that we lose ourselves in them completely. They create immersive, cinematic landscapes that feel alive, whether they're set here in London or anywhere.

[Stephen Colbert]

The man's pants straight up fall down, but he keeps rocking that prompter without missing a word.

[Guest]

Wow.

[Stephen Colbert]

The force is strong with this one. That is the classic public speaking nightmare I believe we have. This is true. We have footage of Mark Hamill before he went on stage. I have a very bad feeling about this, and this can't be true. We also have footage of someone in the audience when Hamill's pants fell down. Hello. And I know, I know this is crazy, and I can't believe how great my footage department is, but I'm told we somehow managed to obtain video of one of the crew guys who was standing behind Hamill when his pants fell down. That's no moon. Mark we salute you. Mark we salute. You're a hero of awards presentators everywhere, and I don't want you to be embarrassed at all by what anyone saw. Just remember the wise words of Master Yoda.

[Audience Member]

Size matches not.

[Stephen Colbert]

Thank you for listening to the Late Show Pod show with Stephen Colbert. Just one more thing. If you want to see more of me, come to The Late Show YouTube channel for more clips and exclusives.

[Jeff Probst]

Survivor 48 is here, and alongside it, we're bringing you a brand new season of On Fire, the only official Survivor podcast. If you're a Survivor super fan, you won't want to miss this. Deep dive into every episode where we break down how we design the game, the biggest moves, your burning questions it's the only podcast that gives you inside access to Survivor that nobody else can listen to. On Fire, the official Survivor podcast with me, Jeff Probst, every Wednesday after the show. Wherever you get your podcast.