Meanwhile | Microplastics In Veggies

Summary

The Late Show Pod Show with Stephen Colbert

Episode: Meanwhile | Microplastics In Veggies
Date: October 26, 2025
Host: Stephen Colbert
Guests/Panelists: Jon Stewart, Seth Meyers, John Oliver

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Episode Overview

This episode of The Late Show Pod Show centers on Stephen Colbert and his comedic partners—Jon Stewart, Seth Meyers, and John Oliver—as they riff through a "Meanwhile…" segment. The group delivers rapid-fire, satirical takes on the week's stranger news stories, including fish-scented rabies vaccines for raccoons, Dr. Pepper sausages, airline seating woes, and a troubling warning about microplastics in vegetables. The tone is characteristically irreverent, blending absurd humor with off-the-cuff banter and clever insights into the quirks of modern life.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Welcome and Banter (Sponsor Segment)

• The hosts riff on pistachios in a playful, mock-advertisement style.
• Discussion covers different pistachio flavors, entertaining metaphors, and a general celebration of nuts.
• Stephen Colbert: “No guilt. Just glory, glory in our nuts. Whether it’s a satisfying crack of in shell pistachios, or the smooth, instant gratification of no shells. No judgment.” (00:31)
• Seth Meyers introduces newer pistachio flavors, revealing a minor "nut technology" arms race.

2. Language Learning Ad (Rosetta Stone)

• John Oliver provides a tongue-in-cheek endorsement of Rosetta Stone, keeping the energy light without breaking from the comedic mode.
• Note: This is a non-content sponsored segment but kept brief in the flow.

3. "Meanwhile…" Segment: Rapid-Fire Satirical News

• Fish-Scented Rabies Vaccines in NYC
  • New York is dropping fish-scented rabies vaccines for raccoons.
  • Jon Stewart: “Which means Staten Island just smells that way on its own.” (05:14)
  • Absurd workplace joke: “All of them work at the deli and the Port Authority bus terminal.”
• Dr. Pepper Sausages
  • Dr. Pepper teams with Johnsonville Sausages for a new product.
  • Jon Stewart: “What a time to be alive. Those were his last words.”
• WestJet’s Unusual Airline Seating Upgrades
  • WestJet is mocked for only premium seats getting comfort upgrades; regular coach seats will have “those spikes they use to discourage pigeons from landing.”
  • Stephen Colbert: "WestJet. What is WestJet thinking? That is so WestJet." (05:56)
• Brand-Sponsored Weddings
  • Satire on six in ten Americans willing to let brands sponsor their weddings and have mascots officiate for free weddings.
  • Jon Stewart: “So now we gotta be married by the Mucinex Boogerman.”
• Microplastics in Vegetables
  • News that microplastics are found in everyday vegetables is met with comic resignation rather than alarm.
  • Jon Stewart: “Oh, the vegetables that we eat every day. Yeah, that's where it's coming from. I guess I should cut down on the vegetables that I am eating every day.” (06:29)
• 7-Eleven’s Refined Golf Apparel
  • 7-Eleven’s “most refined golf collection yet" is ridiculed for being out of place compared to its food offerings.
  • Stephen Colbert: “I am so tired of unrefined golf apparel from a store that sells clinically depressed hot dogs.”
  • Banter makes a comic connection between golf wear and hot dog flavors: “Tire burning and gasoline fueled. Also the flavor options on those hot dogs.”
• Apple TV Rebrand
  • Apple TV drops the "+" sign in its branding.
  • Colbert quips: "If you pee on your Apple TV and it shows a plus sign, that just means you're pregnant." (07:13)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Pistachios:
  • Stephen Colbert: “Nut me, nut, nut me with nut meat.” (03:05)
  • Seth Meyers: “I love pistachio ice cream. Have you had the sea salt and vinegar?” (01:32)
• On Airline Economy:
  • Stephen Colbert: “While regular coach seats will have those spikes they use to discourage pigeons from landing.” (05:48)
• On Microplastics in Vegetables:
  • Jon Stewart, feigning indifference: “I guess I should cut down on the vegetables that I am eating every day.” (06:29)
• On Corporate Branding:
  • Colbert: “So now we gotta be married by the Mucinex Boogerman.” (05:59)
• On 7-Eleven Golf Apparel:
  • Colbert: “Golf clothing and Seven Eleven go together like fencing equipment and Papa Johns." (06:39)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Sponsor Banter (Wonderful Pistachios):
  00:00 – 03:18
• Language Learning Ad (Rosetta Stone):
  03:19 – 04:27
• Introduction to ‘Meanwhile’:
  04:34 – 05:13
• Fish-Scented Rabies Vaccines:
  05:14 – 05:35
• Dr. Pepper Sausages:
  05:35 – 05:46
• WestJet Airline Seating:
  05:46 – 05:57
• Brand-Sponsored Weddings:
  05:57 – 06:13
• Microplastics in Vegetables:
  06:14 – 06:29
• 7-Eleven Golf Apparel:
  06:29 – 06:51
• Apple TV Rebranding:
  06:51 – 07:13

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Tone and Atmosphere

• Fast-paced, whip-smart comedic banter among friends with an undercurrent of social satire.
• Joyfully absurd, occasionally self-deprecating, and always topical.
• The tone remains light even when touching on environmental or consumerist anxieties.

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Summary

This episode delivers a trademark blend of satirical news commentary, offbeat banter, and sharp cultural observations. The “Meanwhile…” segment is particularly rich, covering unexpected product launches, public health quirks, and the omnipresent oddities of modern branding. The group’s chemistry is strong, with each bringing out the most playful qualities in the others, resulting in a thoroughly entertaining and thought-provoking listen for fans of late-night comedy.

(End of Summary)

Transcript

[Stephen Colbert]

Hey, everybody. Stephen Colbert here about to read the copy for our sponsor. This is from our friends at Wonderful Pistachios. And I was the wonderful pistachio spokesman for years. Yeah, I have a real close association with nut meat. Okay.

[Jon Stewart]

You know what they say when they.

[Stephen Colbert]

Reach for a snack? Don't hold back. And that's exactly the approach with Wonderful Pistachios. The don't hold back snack. These little wonders are so tasty, it feels like getting away with something.

[Jon Stewart]

But surprise.

[Stephen Colbert]

Each serving has 6 grams of protein and 0 grams of regret. That's right. No guilt. Just glory, glory in our nuts. Whether it's a satisfying crack of in shell pistachios, and that's capitalized in shell, or the smooth, instant gratification of no shells. No judgment. That's just it. Just eat. No judgment. I take issue with one thing. It's instant gratification. It's super tasty smooth.

[Seth Meyers]

It's a hard nut smooth.

[Stephen Colbert]

Exactly. I mean, even out of the shell, it's still a nut.

[Seth Meyers]

We can't disparage the nuts.

[John Oliver]

You.

[Jon Stewart]

I'm not disparaging the nut.

[Stephen Colbert]

I'm describing the nut.

[Seth Meyers]

Don't disparage any flavors.

[Jon Stewart]

I'm not. I am celebrating the pistachio right now. I'm on board.

[Stephen Colbert]

I love pistachios.

[John Oliver]

I love.

[Stephen Colbert]

I love crushed pistachio. Like a pistachio crusted trout. Oh, unbelievable. Instead of a trout amandine, a trout pistachio. Fantastic. Enough butter?

[Jon Stewart]

Who cares?

[Seth Meyers]

Very good.

[Stephen Colbert]

And I love pistachio ice cream.

[Seth Meyers]

Have you had the sea salt and vinegar? Wonderful pistachio. It's delicious. I get them.

[Stephen Colbert]

I didn't even know I get them.

[Seth Meyers]

Before the softball games.

[Jon Stewart]

But that's.

[Stephen Colbert]

You see, it's been a while since I've been the spokesman for wonderful pistachios. I didn't realize we'd achieved new pistachio technology.

[Seth Meyers]

Yeah. Yeah.

[John Oliver]

Wow.

[Stephen Colbert]

Wonderful pistachios has every snack style covered. Right now. There's an obsession with jalapeno lime. There is an obsession session. It's almost a disorder. It's spicy, it's zesty. It's basically a flavor roller coaster in a nut. Snacking on the go. Grab a bag of no shells. Feeling contemplative and want to work for it a little. So earning it, they're saying if you want to earn your nut, crack open those in shell beauties. Either way, it's snacking like a champ. So the next time hunger strikes, don't hold back. Unless it's a hunger strike.

[Jon Stewart]

And then it's important that you do.

[Stephen Colbert]

Because whatever you're doing that for, I'm sure it's a worthwhile cause. Snack like you mean it with wonderful pistachios. Visit wonderfulpistachios.com to learn more. That was a wonderful I wonder what more there is to learn.

[Jon Stewart]

We just told them so much. We just told them so much about pistachios. But evidently there's a whole other world.

[Stephen Colbert]

There's an unexplored vista.

[Seth Meyers]

They got a bunch of flavors. They got dill pickle, jalapeno lime, as we learned, smoky barbecue. There's a lot of different flavors.

[Stephen Colbert]

Wow. And I would not disparage any of them.

[Seth Meyers]

No, no, no.

[Stephen Colbert]

Bring it on.

[Seth Meyers]

Nothing bad to say.

[Stephen Colbert]

Nut me, nut, nut me with nut meat.

[Seth Meyers]

We're nut.

[Jon Stewart]

No, we got nothing but nut. Nutty, nutty, nutty, nutty. Talk about, talk about, talk about, talk.

[Stephen Colbert]

About, talk about nutty.

[John Oliver]

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[Seth Meyers]

It's the Late Show Poncho with Stephen Colbert.

[Jon Stewart]

Folks, if you watch the show, you know I spend most of my time over there in the news factory sourcing the most topical Peartex Quantum story fabric filled with 850 FP Polish goose down with a shark fin footbox for a total weight of just 46 ounces. To make for you the Cumulus Tenka 850 sleeping bag. That is my monologue. But sometimes, while cranked up on Sudafed and White Claw, I break into an abandoned prison and stuff a discarded laundry bag with old newspapers and black out inside the Wino cocoon of news. That is my segment.

[Seth Meyers]

Meanwhile.

[Stephen Colbert]

That right there.

[Jon Stewart]

It's an antibiotic is what it is. It's an antibiotic shell. Meanwhile, the New York City Health Department is dropping fish scented rabies vaccine pouches for raccoons in Brooklyn, Queens and Manhattan. Which means Staten island just smells that way on its own. This is part of the city's annual effort to curb the disease. So far this year, officials said 18 raccoons, one cat and one bat tested positive for rabies. And all of them work at the deli and the Port Authority bus terminal. Meanwhile, stay. Meanwhile, Dr. Pepper is teaming up with Johnsonville Sausages to bring us Dr. Pepper sausages. Hopefully this sells better than the previous soda meat combo. Crystal pork seed reactions were mixed, but one food blogger exclaimed, what a time to be alive. Those were his last words. Meanwhile, in air travel news, one airline is offering a refreshed range of seating options at which only those in its premium and extended comfort sections will recline. And those premium seats will also have ergonomically contoured seat cushions, reclining seatbacks, and a large headrest with four way adjustment capability, while regular coach seats will have those spikes they use to discourage pigeons from landing. The airline in question is called WestJet, a name I'm guessing is unfamiliar even to most WestJet employees. Wait a second, wait a second. Is WestJet announcing this new seating policy? Just mention WestJet on the air and give WestJet some much needed publicity. Well, nice try. WestJet. WestJet. What is WestJet thinking? That is so WestJet. According to new research, six in ten Americans will let a brand sponsor their wedding. And should that brand cover the entire wedding bill, they would let the brand mascot officiate the wedding. That's how desperate people are to pay lavish weddings. Honey, you're the one who insisted on having a living carousel of all white horses. So now we gotta be married by the Mucinex Boogerman. What a time to be alive. Meanwhile, researchers say that microplastics could be inside the vegetables you eat every day. Oh, the vegetables that we eat every day. Yeah, that's where it's coming from. I guess I should cut down on the vegetables that I am eating every day. Meanwhile, news about convenience store clothing, because Seven Eleven is returning with its most refined golf collection yet. Finally. I am so tired of unrefined golf apparel from a store that sells clinically depressed hot dogs. We all know that golf clothing and Seven Eleven go together like fencing equipment and Papa Johns. The clothing look has been described as a nod to the tire burning, gasoline fueled spirit behind the name. By the way, tire burning and gasoline fueled. Also the flavor options on those hot dogs. Meanwhile, in corporate streaming news, Apple TV has rebranded to Apple tv, dishing the plus sign for a vibrant new identity. So from now on, if you pee on your Apple TV and it shows a plus sign, that just means you're pregnant. Thank you for listening to the Late Show POD show with Stephen Colbert. Just one more thing. If you want to see more of me, come to The Late Show YouTube channel for more clips and exclusives.