← The Late Show Pod Show with Stephen Colbert
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- [00:00]
Stephen Colbert
As a parent, you want to give your child every opportunity to succeed. But let's be honest, sometimes homework questions leave us stumped, or we wish they had it a bit more challenging when they're ahead in class. That's where IXL learning can help. IXL is an online learning program that supports kids from Pre K to 12th grade in math, language arts, science and social studies. It's designed to help kids truly master topics while keeping learning fun and engaging. Whether your child is catching up, staying on track, or aiming to get ahead, IXL offers personalized learning to meet their needs. Plus it saves you time and money. No more searching for multiple tutors or programs. IXL is like having everything you need in one place. The best part? It's backed by research. Kids using IXL consistently score higher on tests, and it works for all kids, no matter their grade or learning style. Iexcel is used in 96 of the top 100 school districts in the U.S. so you know it's the real deal. Make an impact on your child's learning. Get IXL now and listeners of this podcast can get an exclusive 20% off IXL membership when they sign up today at ixlearning.com audio visit ixllearning.com audio to get the most effective learning program out there at the best price.
- [01:12]
Nourish Dietitian
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- [01:43]
Stephen Colbert
It'S the late show Poncho with Stephen Colbert.
- [01:51]
Folks. If you watch this show, you know I spend most of my time right over there in the news factory assembling the most topical 8K OLED story screen with Dolby Vision IQ, a built in three channel mechanically unfolding BAO lab speaker system with two bass drivers and oak contouring to offer you the cutting edge bang and Oluam Bayovision Avant tv. That is my monologue. But sometimes, sometimes folks, after drinking too much leave in conditioner. I find a washed up chunk of busted shock board and use a shard of cinder block to scrawl a price on it and then trudge down the beach to see if I can hawk the Junkie Grifter's Etch A sketch of news. That is my segment. Meanwhile, this is fuel. This is food for the revolution. Meanwhile, Minecraft, the new movie is out and excitement is so high that that Minecraft obsessed teen boys are destroying movie theaters with one witness saying it's disgusting. We have not seen a single demographic tear theaters apart with pure excitement like this since middle aged women went to go see the Bridges of Madison County. Meanwhile, you sound like an idiot cause you're saying words wrong. A new study has released a list of the most mispronounced words in the United States in 2025. Now this hits home for me because my name is pronounced Colbert. But growing up, whenever I started at a new school, a lot of people would incorrectly pronounce it ass munch. Now some. Some of the entries on the list of words you might be pronouncing correctly are archipelagrino, oxa, todle, odal, and attached. Meanwhile, in pricey reptile news, a China court auctioned off 100 tons of live crocodiles for half a million dollars. But the winner must pick them up at their own risk. And the buyer has to cover the costs, including capturing and loading the animals. So you have to pay for the animals and capture them yourself. That's a pretty good business model. Welcome to Burger King. Cows are out back. Here's a bun and a hammer. Have it your way. Meanwhile, in garbage news. In an annual beach cleaning, it turns out the trash cleared from New Jersey beaches includes vampire teeth and a bathroom sink, as well as an Invisalign retainer, a Victoria's Secret bra, a bedpan and. And a full can of ravioli. To be clear, all of those are a little odd. But the weirdest might be the one belonging to the brave man who evidently said. Oh, the beach. Perfect. Let me just go grab my can of ravioli because there's nothing like some sun warmed ravioli. Meanwhile, scientists say foie gras can now be made without force. Feeding animals. Boom. It only tastes good if the goose is sad. Now we'll have to bum them out in some other way. Your parents divorce was your fault. No, you stayed up past your bedtime. Meanwhile, in huge ass chocolate news, Cadbury has unveiled the world's largest creme egg. Take a look.
- [05:37]
Cadbury Representative
The huge chocolate egg stands at 91cm tall and weighs 45kg. It took a team of in house chocolatiers here two and a half days to make using the official creme egg recipe shared exclusively with Cadbury World.
- [05:53]
Stephen Colbert
Blah blah blah.
- [05:54]
Can I fit inside? Just give me a snorkel on a three day weekend and I'm fine. Now he was explaining that there the British way. If you're not familiar with centigrams or kilograms, don't worry because Cadbury also stated that the egg is as tall as an emperor penguin and with the poundage of a newborn horse. Really? They somehow made it more more British. Oh, I'm sorry, is that unclear? Dear me. The Creme egg is as tall as a wicket from a cricket set and weighs roughly as much as a hogshead of cluttered cream. 3 Corgis Meanwhile, French TV viewers rejoice because the CBS hit show Ghosts is getting its own French version. I for one am excited for the French to discover all the great CBS programming. In fact, I'd like to take some time right now to pitch my own adaptation, Le Chaux de Leta Vacate. In Colbert and Le Trakur you will find a third person for your manager. Meanwhile, LeBron James has made history with his Ken doll, becoming the first professional male athlete to have his likeness depicted in a Ken doll. Though in my opinion, there is one NBA player who would have been more appropriate choice. Chicago Bulls legends Petey no Privates Conroy.
- [07:25]
More Meanwhile.
- [07:32]
Andy from Harry's
Hey, I'm Andy. If you don't know me, it's probably because I'm not famous. But I did start a men's grooming company called Harry's. The idea for Harry's came out of a frustrating experience I had buying razor blades. Most brands were overpriced over, designed and out of touch. At Harry's, our approach is simple. Here's our secret. We make sharp, durable blades and sell them at honest prices for as low as $2 each. We care about quality so much that we do some crazy things like buy a world class German blade factory. Obsessing over every detail means we're confident in offering a 100% quality guarantee. Millions of guys have already made the switch to Harry's, so thank you if you're one of them. And if you're not, we hope you give us a try with this special offer. Get a Harry starter set with a five blade razor weighted handle, shave gel and a travel cover, all for just three bucks plus free shipping. Just go to Harrys.com and enter Code man at checkout. That's Harry's.com Code Man. Enjoy.
- [08:36]
Stephen Colbert
Folks. I spend most of my time right over there in the news Alps assembling the finest, most topical schlaitdorf story sandstone into a Romanesque masterpiece with ornamental turrets, gables and roof cornice to create the dreamlike and timeless Neuschwanstein castle. That is my monologue. But sometimes, after beaching a hijacked fanboat in the pine Barrens, I use a stolen credit card to hollow out a stump and curl up next to a family of possums in the vermin chateau of news. That is my segment. Meanwhile. Meanwhile. Isn't that the ultimate reward? Yes, yes it is. Meanwhile, a machine using ultrasound and AI can gauge the fatness of a tuna fish. Oh good. Machines can tell how fat something is. Now I look forward to being corrected by my treadmill screen with £175. You wish, Chunko. Meanwhile, new research shows that anxiety drugs found in rivers are making salmon take more risks. Which is why there's such an uptick in salmon doing risky things like dating their co workers. Don't do it. If it doesn't work out, you still gotta see each other every day. It's weird. Apparently there are so many drugs contaminating so many waterways that scientists claim the fish are swimming in a veritable soup of drugs. Take note, Panera, that's a you pick two. I could get behind. I'll take half a turkey club and a bowl of chicken noodle Zoloft. Meanwhile, on Sunday, an airplane had to make an emergency landing after a rabbit was sucked into the engine. But the 153passengers and six crew landed safely. Yeah, and is the rabbit okay? Meanwhile, a deer wandered into a YMCA in Kentucky before being led out safely. Authorities say the deer was at the YMCA because it has more of a community vibe than Planet Fitness. Did I say it? Did I even say the word? Did I say the word fit? Meanwhile, a newly translated papyrus is revealing how people evaded taxes in ancient Rome. They evaded taxes just like us. I mean, who hasn't tried to claim the communal butt wiping stick sponge as a business expense? Definitely want to get to the public baths early. Hugh. Hugh, why are you a honey? Why are you up so soon? I want to get first grab at that stick. Skrull also reveals that the punishment for tax cheats was being eaten alive by leopards. I'd love to have been there. And to see ancient Roman couples doing their taxes. Okay, Lucius, we'll claim the vestibulum as a home office. But if we get caught, you're the one who gets the leopard. Meanwhile, researchers in Japan have created lab grown chicken nuggets. No, I only eat farm to table all natural free range nugget. So how did these Japanese bioengineers achieve nuggetization? Well, reportedly the scientists used fine hollow fibers to deliver oxygen and nutrients to chicken muscle cells suspended in a gel. Which allowed scientists to grow lumps of me. Yummer. This is really going to change the lectures you give your five year old when they won't finish their dinner. Dylan, some children don't even have chicken muscle cells suspended in a gel that have been oxygenated into lumps of meat. But I must say I'm curious. Let's take a look at the lab Grown. Nope. Absolutely not. Mm, mm, mm. Imagine being told you're going to get a chicken nugget and then you're served. Voldemort skin tag. Thank you for listening to the Late Show Pod show with Stephen Colbert. Just one more thing. If you want to see more of me, come to The Late Show YouTube channel for more clips and exclusives. I've been counted out, dismissed, passed over, told I'd never be a golfer with just one arm. But the only thing that feels better than proving people wrong is is out driving them. I'm 14 year old golfer Tommy Morrissey and I want to be remembered for.
- [13:13]
Cadbury Representative
My ability as a champion partner of the Masters. Bank of America supports everyone determined to find out what's possible in golf and in life. What would you like the power to do? Bank of America bank of America NA Member FDIC Copyright 2025 bank of America Corporation. All rights reserved. We interrupt this program to bring you an important Wayfarer message. Wayfair's got style tips for every home. This is Nicole Byer helping you make those rooms flyer. Today's style tip when it comes to making a statement, treat bold patterns like neutrals go wild like an untamed animal print area rug under a rustic farmhouse table. From wayfair.com Ooh. Fierce. This has been your Wayfair style tip to keep those interiors superior.
- [13:56]
Stephen Colbert
Wayfair Every style, every home.