← The Late Show Pod Show with Stephen Colbert
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- [00:01]
Ford Representative
The Ford Explorer is America's all time best selling suv. But we couldn't leave it at that because you still have unmarked paths to pursue. So we gave it an available 400 horsepower engine. It's up to you what you do with that power. The 2025 Ford Explorer, it's all in the name based on S and p Global Mobility 1946, the current US total new cumulative registrations for all vehicles identified as SUVs. Horsepower and torque ratings based on premium fuel per SAJ1349 standard. You, your results may vary.
- [00:31]
Stephen Colbert
It's the Late Show Poncho with Stephen Colbert.
- [00:39]
Folks. If you watch the show, you know I spend most of my time in my Segovian butcher shop right over there running the nuisance cerdo Iberico story pork through a 10 millimeter grind plate, then adding topical spices and pimenton de la vera, both sweet and hot and letting it cure at 70% humidity for 21 days to present to you the complex and zest zesty chorizo cantimpalo sausage that is my monologue. But sometimes, just sometimes, folks, while on the run after a failed off track betting parlor heist, my partner is gunned down while still wearing his clown disguise, just as he feared he would. And I cower in a dumpster where I roll up some discarded lunchable scraps into a half eaten fruit by the foot and spare a thought for my old pal jingles while I scarf down the outlaw's grief weiner of news. That is my segment Meanwh. Oh, it was a long one. That was a long one there. Meanwhile, always happy to see you friend. Meanwhile, in verbally abusive bird news, legendary British actress Judi Dench says her pet parrot calls her a slut. Uh, excuse me, Mr. Parrot, show some respect. That's Dame slut to you. Meanwhile, a crime spree has been solved now that a weasel was caught breaking into a Japanese kindergarten and stealing shoes after parents had feared it was a foot fetished pervert. Reached for comment, the weasel said, hmm, show me them little piggies. Wiggle em. Meanwhile, once again I've made big news in Finland. You see, a couple of weeks ago, my introduction to Meanwhile highlighted the Finnish Kainu forest and their sauteed reindeer dish known as poran karistus. Well, apparently the Finns were so delighted that I made the biggest newspaper in the country, Helsing Sanomat, which raved the late show Puyolman ju avau SM before astutely observing Juan Taja Stephen Colbert Vietn su Riman Osan Ajasthani Vahiltan Kanun Utis Matsasa. Wow. Utism. You see that other countries. I talk about you all the time and nothing more. Like Finland. Meanwhile, according to a new lawsuit, a potato cartel conspired to make your frozen fries 47% more expensive. According to the suit, four of the biggest producers of potato products in North America conspired and shared trade information to coordinate price increases, which is how the potato cartel moved prices. I for one applaud everyone who dared blow the whistle on the potato cartel. But please stay safe out there. They have eyes everywhere. Long walk. That was a long walk right there, baby. Meanwhile, at an airport in Peru, police arrested a man caught trying to leave the country with 320 tarantulas strapped to his body. Even though there are clear signs all over the airport saying you're not allowed on the plane with more than 318 spiders. And if you think that's crazy, the guy tried to fly with 320tarantulas strapped to his torso. You should also know he also had hidden on his body 110 centipedes and nine bullet ants and a termite tape to his peen. Meanwhile. Meanwhile, a Canadian grandma broke the world record for push ups, but she wouldn't have to exercise this much if you'd just call Are you happy? Are you happy now? Meanwhile, in an effort to raise mental health awareness, men in Norwich, England are invited to talk about loneliness and their well being on International Men's Day aboard a special bus dubbed the Chatty Bus, while men in New York City are invited to sit silently on the subway until their feelings crystallize into an ice chip in their heart. Meanwhile, it's a Christmas miracle because KFC has launched Christmas wrapping paper that tastes like chicken. They came up with the idea while trying to invent a way to make your dog eat your kid's brand new Nintendo Switch. Importantly, this is important. The paper is actually meant to be only licked and KFC has warned that it is not intended for human consumption, a statement which could cause problems since that is already the motto for Taco Bell.
- [06:14]
More Meanwhile after this. This message is sponsored by Greenlight. We all know the old saying about teaching a man to fish, and as parents, we want our kids to learn the things that will set them up for success. So this holiday season, give kids money skills that last well beyond 2024 with Greenlight. Greenlight is a debit card and money app made for families where kids learn how to save, invest and spend wisely with parental Controls built in. Sign up today@Greenlight.com Spotify Greenlight.com Spotify.
- [06:56]
Folks, if you watch this show, you know I spend a lot of my time right over there in the news fields of Albero Bello, Italy collecting the most topical storied limestone which I arrange into double skin walls with wedge shaped roof of corbelled Chian Karelle bearing mythological markings in white ash to present the distinctive and stately pugliese trulli dwelling that is my monologue. But sometimes, just sometimes, folks, while on the lam after a break in in an orphanage, I crawl into the rusted out engine housing of an abandoned Subaru Impreza, then pull the door from an old porta Potty over me and cower inside the leaky burglar yurt of news that is my segment. Meanwhile, it's a silver lin that's a silver lining of the next four years.
- [07:44]
Ford Representative
Meanwhile.
- [07:46]
Stephen Colbert
Meanwhile, skincare company Dove is collaborating with the viral cookie shop Crumbl on a line of body care products inspired by cookie flavors. Hopefully this goes better than when they tried cookies inspired by soap flavors. They did not sell a lot of Keebler antifungal stripes. Meanwhile, U.S. customs and Border Patrol recently seized more than 3,000 fake Gibson electric guitars at a Los Angeles port. But according to officials, had the guitars been authentic, they would have been worth $18 million. Yes, a real Gibson comes at a cost. Specifically the sanity of every woman whose live in boyfriend decides to take up electric guitar. Babe, babe, I know you wanted a diamond tennis bracelet for Christmas, but I got you something even better. Me stumbling through the opening chords of Blackbird. Wait, wait, wait. Hold on, hold on. I got. Hold on. How close Was that close? Was that close? Okay, almost there. All right, great. Meanwhile, scientists accidentally discovered a sea creature that can reverse its age, which they have dubbed the immortal jellyfish and a time traveler species. A time traveling jellyfish explains why there was never a jellyfish Hitler. Meanwhile, on artsy fartsy news, at an upcoming auction, a blank, pure white art for over $1.5 million. I'm just going to go ahead and say it. It's time to stop doing art. I wasn't all that sure about the splattery ones, but I let it slide. Then they did the balloony things and I said nothing. And now look where we are. This painting is not even painted. You know how easy it is to not paint things? I do it all the time. You know what would make that look good? Tape? A banana to it. Welcome. Meanwhile, there's news about the new class of weight loss drugs like Wegovy and Ozempic. Apparently, many social drinkers who are on these obesity drugs have lost the taste for alcohol. It's amazing. They've made people lose the taste for food. Do you know what that means? Science is this close to curing fun. They're coming for you, sex. They're coming for you. Meanwhile, in Bruise News, Miller High Life is making a cologne.
- [10:38]
Ford Representative
Cool.
- [10:39]
Stephen Colbert
Maybe when they're done, they can try making beer. According to. I'm joking. It's the champagne of beer. According to Miller, the clone is called Dive Bar Fume. The company says it captures every familiar Dive Bar scent and retails for $40. But can you really put a price on voluntarily smelling like ass? Meanwhile, Shark Tank judge Barbara Corcoran admitted she has a separate bedroom from her husband to keep sex short. I believe. I believe we have footage of Corcoran responding to her husband's proposal to have longer sex. I'm not thank you for listening to the Late Show Pod show with Stephen Colbert. Just one more thing. If you want to see more of me, come to The Late Show YouTube channel for more clips and exclusives.
- [11:39]
Ford Representative
Paramount has a mountain of blockbuster movies like Mission Impossible, Dead Reckoning, Bob Marley, One Love, and if.
- [11:45]
Stephen Colbert
What if I told you imaginary Friends are real?
- [11:48]
Ford Representative
Discover something new every week. A mountain of movies awaits on Paramount. Plus now streaming.