Meanwhile Rewind | Finland Loves Colbert

Summary

The Late Show Pod Show with Stephen Colbert Episode: Meanwhile Rewind | Finland Loves Colbert
Release Date: July 13, 2025

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Overview

In the Meanwhile Rewind | Finland Loves Colbert episode of The Late Show Pod Show with Stephen Colbert, host Stephen Colbert delivers a blend of sharp humor, insightful commentary, and engaging storytelling. The episode features Colbert’s signature monologue, followed by his popular "Meanwhile" segments, which delve into quirky and amusing news stories from around the globe. A standout theme of the episode is the unexpected adoration from Finland, showcasing Colbert’s international influence and the humorous exchanges that ensue.

Monologue: Crafting the Perfect Chorizo

Timestamp: [02:21]

Stephen Colbert opens the episode with a vivid and entertaining description of his ideal scenario, blending culinary artistry with a touch of absurdity. He humorously details his time spent in a fictional Segovian butcher shop, meticulously preparing chorizo cantempalo sausage:

“I spend most of my time in my Segovian butcher shop right over there running the Nuzius Cerdo Iberico story pork through a 10 millimeter grind plate, then adding topical spices and Pimenton de la Vera, both sweet and hot and letting it cure at 70% humidity for 21 days to present to you the complex and zesty chorizo cantempalo sausage.”
— Stephen Colbert [02:21]

This elaborate depiction sets a whimsical tone, blending culinary detail with Colbert’s characteristic humor.

Meanwhile Segment: Quirky Global News Highlights

Timestamp: [02:21 – 07:55]

Following his monologue, Colbert transitions into the "Meanwhile" segment, presenting a series of humorous and often absurd news stories. This segment maintains a brisk pace, showcasing Colbert's ability to find comedy in the mundane and the bizarre alike.

1. Judi Dench’s Parrot Insults

Timestamp: [02:50]

Colbert shares a lighthearted anecdote involving legendary British actress Judi Dench and her pet parrot:

“Legendary British actress Judi Dench says her pet parrot calls her a slut. Uh, excuse me, Mr. Parrot, show some respect. That's Dame Slut to you.”
— Stephen Colbert [02:50]

This humorous take highlights the unexpected interactions between celebrities and their pets.

2. The Shoe-Stealing Weasel

Timestamp: [03:15]

A whimsical crime story about a weasel caught stealing shoes from a Japanese kindergarten is recounted:

“A crime spree has been solved now that a weasel was caught breaking into a Japanese kindergarten and stealing shoes after parents had feared it was a foot fetished. Pervert, the weasel said. Mmm, show me them little piggies. Wiggle em.”
— Stephen Colbert [03:15]

The anthropomorphic portrayal of the weasel adds a layer of humor to the tale.

3. Finland’s Enthusiastic Praise for Colbert

Timestamp: [04:10]

The episode’s central theme revolves around Colbert’s unexpected fame in Finland. He narrates how his previous mentions of Finnish culture in his show led to enthusiastic coverage by Finland's leading newspaper, Helsingin Sanomat:

“A couple of weeks ago, my introduction to Meanwhile highlighted the Finnish Kainu forest and their sauteed reindeer dish known as Poron Karistuz. Well, apparently the Finns were so delighted that I made the biggest newspaper in the country, Helsing Sonomat, which raved the late show, Puyol Gelman, Jonta Javertazi, Ava Loggia and Peron Karistic Sin...”
— Stephen Colbert [04:10]

Colbert humorously exaggerates the Finnish newspaper’s praise, leading to a playful back-and-forth about mutual mentions:

“If you mention this mention of you mentioning me mentioning you mentioning me mentioning you, we all know where that's going to lead to. The sauna where everything in Finland eventually leads.”
— Stephen Colbert [06:05]

This segment underscores Colbert's global reach and the amusing nuances of international media interactions.

4. The Potato Cartel Lawsuit

Timestamp: [05:30]

In a satirical take on corporate conspiracies, Colbert discusses a lawsuit accusing a potato cartel of inflating frozen fry prices by 47%:

“According to the suit, four of the biggest producers of potato products in North America conspired and shared trade information to coordinate price increases, which is how the potato cartel moved prices. I for one, applaud everyone who dared blow the whistle. Potato cartel. But please stay safe out there. They have eyes everywhere.”
— Stephen Colbert [05:30]

The parody of serious legal proceedings adds a humorous twist to consumer frustrations.

5. Tarantula Smuggling at Peruvian Airport

Timestamp: [06:00]

A bizarre story about a man arrested for attempting to transport 320 tarantulas on a plane is highlighted:

“Police arrested a man caught trying to leave the country with 320 tarantulas strapped to his body, even though there are clear signs all over the airport saying you're not allowed on the plane with more than 318 spiders... he also had hit it on his body. 110 centipedes and nine bullet ants and a termite tape to his peen.”
— Stephen Colbert [06:00]

The over-the-top description amplifies the absurdity of the incident.

6. Canadian Grandma’s Push-Up Record

Timestamp: [06:30]

Colbert celebrates a Canadian grandma who set a world record for push-ups, blending admiration with humorous skepticism:

“A Canadian grandma broke the world record for push ups. But she wouldn't have to exercise this much if you just call. Are you happy? Are you happy now?”
— Stephen Colbert [06:30]

This segment balances praise with comedic reflections on the nature of record-breaking.

7. Mental Health Initiatives and Christmas Wrap

Timestamp: [07:00]

The segment transitions to a quirky mix of mental health awareness efforts and unusual product launches:

“Men in Norwich, England are invited to talk about loneliness and their well being on International Men's Day aboard a special bus dubbed the Chatty Bus... Meanwhile, KFC has launched Christmas wrapping paper that tastes like chicken. They came up with the idea while trying to invent a way to make your dog eat your kid's brand new Nintendo Switch.”
— Stephen Colbert [07:00]

The juxtaposition of serious and silly topics maintains the episode’s dynamic pace.

Repeat Monologue and Meanwhile Segment

Timestamp: [08:07 – 13:42]

The transcript indicates a repetition of similar segments, with Colbert engaging in another monologue about crafting a Shelby Cobra 427 and a "Meanwhile" segment that revisits the Finland adoration theme. This reinforces the ongoing humorous narrative of Colbert’s international fame and the cyclical nature of media interactions.

Notable Quote:

“Francis Ford Coppola has apologized for starting Hollywood's sequel Obsession, saying I'm the jerk that started numbers on movies. I'm embarrassed and I apologize to everyone and well you should, sir. I did not enjoy nor frankly could I follow the Godfather for electric Gobbleghoul.”
— Stephen Colbert [09:15]

This quote exemplifies Colbert’s knack for parodying celebrity apologies with inventive language.

Conclusion

The Meanwhile Rewind | Finland Loves Colbert episode encapsulates Stephen Colbert's talent for blending humor with topical commentary. Through his engaging monologues and the rapid-fire "Meanwhile" segments, Colbert explores a variety of amusing and unconventional news stories, with a particular emphasis on his surprising acclaim in Finland. The episode is a testament to Colbert’s ability to entertain while subtly highlighting cultural and societal nuances, making it a must-listen for fans seeking both laughter and thoughtful satire.

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Notable Quotes:

1. Chorizo Monologue:
   “...letting it cure at 70% humidity for 21 days to present to you the complex and zesty chorizo cantempalo sausage.”
   — Stephen Colbert [02:21]

2. Judi Dench’s Parrot:
   “That's Dame Slut to you.”
   — Stephen Colbert [02:50]

3. Finland’s Praise:
   “If you mention this mention of you mentioning me mentioning you mentioning me mentioning you, we all know where that's going to lead to. The sauna where everything in Finland eventually leads.”
   — Stephen Colbert [06:05]

4. Potato Cartel:
   “They have eyes everywhere.”
   — Stephen Colbert [05:30]

5. Francis Ford Coppola Apology:
   “I'm embarrassed and I apologize to everyone and well you should, sir.”
   — Stephen Colbert [09:15]

These quotes encapsulate the episode’s humor and Colbert’s sharp observational style, providing memorable moments that highlight his unique approach to late-night satire.

Transcript

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[Stephen Colbert]

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Visit RosettaStone.com RS10 to get started and claim your 50% off today. Don't miss out. Go to RosettaStone.com RS10 and start learning. Today. It's the Late Show Poncho with Stephen Colbert.

[Stephen Colbert]

If you watch the show, you know I spend most of my time in my Segovian butcher shop right over there running the Nuzius Cerdo Iberico story pork through a 10 millimeter grind plate, then adding topical spices and Pimenton de la Vera, both sweet and hot and letting it cure at 70% humidity for 21 days to present to you the complex and zesty chorizo cantempalo sausage. That is my monologue. But sometimes, just sometimes, folks, while on the run after a failed off track betting parlor heist, my partner is gunned down while still wearing his clown disguise, just as he feared he would. And I cower in a dumpster where I roll up some discarded lunchable scraps into a half eaten fruit by the foot and spare a thought for my old pal jingles while I scarf down the outlaw's grief wiener of news. That is my segment. Meanwhile. That was a long one. That was a long one there. Meanwhile, always happy to see you, friend. Meanwhile, in verbally abusive bird news, legendary British actress Judi Dench says her pet parrot calls her a slut. Uh, excuse me, Mr. Parrot, show some respect. That's Dame Slut to you. Meanwhile, a crime spree has been solved now that a weasel was caught breaking into a Japanese kindergarten and stealing shoes after parents had feared it was a foot fetished. Pervert, the weasel said. Mmm, show me them little piggies. Wiggle em. Meanwhile, once again, I've made big news in Finland. You see, a couple of weeks ago, my introduction to Meanwhile highlighted the Finnish Kainu forest and their sauteed reindeer dish known as Poron Karistuz. Well, apparently the Finns were so delighted that I made the biggest newspaper in the country, Helsing Sonomat, which raved the late show, Puyol Gelman, Jonta Javertazi, Ava Loggia and Peron Karistic Sin, before astutely observing Juan Taja, Stephen Colbert, Vietnam, Suriman Osan Ajastani, Vailtan Kannoun Utizmetza. Wow. Utis metsasa indeed. You see that other countries I talk about you all the time and nothing more like Finland. Meanwhile, according to a new lawsuit, a potato cartel conspired to make your frozen fries 47% more expensive. According to the suit, four of the biggest producers of potato products in North America conspired and shared trade information to coordinate price increases, which is how the potato cartel moved prices. I for one, applaud everyone who dared blow the whistle. Potato cartel. But please stay safe out there. They have eyes everywhere. Long walk. That was a long walk right there, baby. Meanwhile, at an airport in Peru, police arrested a man caught trying to leave the country with 320tarantulas strapped to his body, even though there are clear signs all over the airport saying you're not allowed on the plane with more than 318 spiders. And if you think that's crazy, the guy tried to fly with 320tarantulas strapped to his torso. You should also know he also had hit it on his body. 110 centipedes and nine bullet ants and a termite tape to his peen. Meanwhile. Meanwhile, a Canadian grandma broke the world record for push ups. But she wouldn't have to exercise this much if you just call. Are you happy? Are you happy now? Meanwhile, in an effort to raise mental health awareness, men in Norwich, England are invited to talk about loneliness and their well being on International Men's Day aboard a special bus dubbed the Chatty Bus. While men in New York City are invited to sit silently on the subway until their feelings crystallize into an ice chip in their heart. Meanwhile, it's a Christmas miracle because KFC has launched Christmas wrapping paper that tastes like chicken. They came up with the idea while trying to invent a way to make your dog eat your kid's brand new Nintendo Switch. Importantly, this is important. The paper is actually meant to be only licked and KFC has warned that it is not intended for human consumption. A statement which could cause problems since that is already the motto for Taco Bell.

[Advertiser 2]

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[Stephen Colbert]

Folks, if you watch this show, you know I spend most of my time staying standing right over there in the news garage, sourcing the most topical story aluminum which I shape into sleek panels around a 101.6 inch steel tube chassis with a hand crimped hood, coil spring suspension and a side Oiler Ford 7 liter engine with a 4 barrel 780 CFM Holley carburetor to create the elegant yet powerful Shelby Cobra 427. That is my monologue. But sometimes folks, just sometimes, I'm kicked awake by an escaped circus bear behind an abandoned carny tent where I strap a discarded baby pool to a rusty tricycle and we putter off together on the rattletrap clutter buggy of news. That is my segment. Meanwhile, there it is. It's the only vehicle I need. That's the only skate pod I. Meanwhile, Francis Ford Coppola has apologized for starting Hollywood's sequel Obsession, saying I'm the jerk that started numbers on movies. I'm embarrassed and I apologize to everyone and well you should, sir. I did not enjoy nor frankly could I follow the Godfather for electric Gobbleghoul. Meanwhile, a record breaking couple got married in their hundreds. Congratulations to Marjorie Feiterman 102 and Bernie Littman, 100. Let me be the first to say to the happy couple, so when are you guys having kids? Meanwhile, in color news Pantone has announced its 2025 color of the year. It's mocha mousse, which Pantone says nurtures with its suggestion of the delectable quality of cacao, chocolate and coffee. Well, sure, just because we like a drink doesn't mean we should be putting that color on our walls. I still regret painting my living room. Mountain Dew Electric Whiz. Meanwhile, Sam's Club is offering free holiday themed hot dogs, including one topped with pumpkin pie, which is slightly misleading because while the hot dogs are technically free, you will pay a price you will pay For a limited time, guests can get either the club mash up, which is a hot dog topped with mashed potatoes and Christmas cookies, the season's meetings, which is topped with turkey and prime rib, or one topped with pumpkin pie and candy canes called Frankly Both. Fun fact. Frankly Both is also the answer to the question, what type of diabetes did that candy cane hot dog give you? Frankly. Meanwhile, folks, it will come as no surprise to my fans that I have once again rocked the mediascape of Finland. Namely Finland's best and I'm starting to think the world's best newspaper, Helsingen Sanomat. You'll recall that a few weeks ago, in the fancy part of my Meanwhile intro, I glowingly mentioned Finland's national dish, Poron Karistus. Well, the Finns were so excited that they mentioned me mentioning them in their paper, which I was pretty excited about. So I mentioned their mentioning me mentioning them on my show. Well, you'll never guess what happened next. That that got them. That got them so riled up that they have once again mentioned me mentioning they're mentioning of me mentioning them. I mean, just listen to how they rave about me. Toisa, Vikla, Hans, Vertassi, Avaus monologen, Vitz. And then they go on to gush Poron Karistique, sen Marcin, toy hin. Meanwhile, osi ota tas erpa ma raisin tien varisi ratun. Praise indeed. Praise indeed. One imagines. But I gotta ask Finland, am I starting to feel a vibe here? As you yourself have pointed out in my meanwhile intros, over the years, I have gushed about virtually every culture on this planet, from Sulawesi traditional houses to Italian sculpture. But you're the only one who noticed. Twice. So let's do this thing. If you mention this mention of you mentioning me mentioning you mentioning me mentioning you, we all know where that's going to lead to. The sauna where everything in Finland eventually leads. Sauna. Meanwhile, Pizza Hut just launched a new restaurant concept, including a new elevated modern design with an open kitchen in sight of guests. In response, Papa John's has installed its Trust me, you don't want to see how we make this curtain. Thank you for listening to the Late Show Pod show with Stephen Colbert. Just one more thing. If you want to see more of me, come to The Late Show YouTube channel for more clips and exclusives.

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