The Late Show Pod Show with Stephen Colbert

Episode: Meanwhile | Sound of Science: Banana Water
Date: January 11, 2026

Overview

This episode features two of Stephen Colbert’s signature segments: “Sound of Science,” where he riffs on the latest science news, and “Meanwhile,” a rapid-fire round-up of offbeat news stories. The tone is Colbert’s hallmark blend of sharp wit, absurdity, and cultural commentary, all delivered with playful irreverence.

Key Discussion Points and Insights

Sound of Science (01:49–06:59)

• New Phase of Matter

  • Colbert shares that scientists have discovered a hybrid phase of matter that blurs solid and liquid, joking,

    “A phase of matter previously known as your aunt’s Christmas casserole. Why do I serve it with a spoon but eat it with a fork?”
    (02:16)

• Banana Water: A New Plant-Based Beverage

  • There's hype around “banana water”, described as an enzymatically separated banana hydration drink—viscous but not pulpy.
  • Colbert quips,

    “Perfect for anyone saying, I love water. I just wish it was thicker.”
    (02:36)

• Light Drinking and Science Funding

  • The American Heart Association revives the idea that light drinking may be beneficial, but Colbert addresses industry-funded research skepticism with a jab:

    “That is nonsense. This latest information comes from the esteemed Dr. Morgan Institute of Original Spice Research.”
    (03:02)

• Doomsday Glacier Earthquake Swarm

  • Reports of hundreds of earthquakes at the “Doomsday Glacier” lead to Colbert’s dramatic parody:

    “Reminds me of that scene in Titanic: Iceberg. And it’s also filled with snakes. Yeah, people don’t talk about that.”
    (03:28)

• Frogologists and the ‘Galaxy Frog’

  • Photographers are disrupting “galaxy frog” breeding in India.
  • Stephen jokes:

    “That’s why there’s no galaxy Frog porn. And I’ve looked a lot using my work computer. They can’t fire me twice. Can they? They can.”
    (03:51)

• Lab-Grown Fruit Cells in Italy

  • Italian scientists pursue lab-grown fruit. Colbert teases:

    “Stay in your lane, Italy. There’s only one place where Italian food is pushed to its limits: the Times Square Olive Garden.”
    (04:12)

• Dark Chocolate and Aging

  • A chemical in dark chocolate may decelerate aging.
  • He facetiously wishes for,

    “A paper titled, ‘Eating frosting out the tub with your fingers cures lupus.’”
    (04:27)

• Extreme Weight Loss Drug

  • Eli Lilly’s drug is so effective, some trial participants quit after losing too much weight.

    “Though it’s still not as effective for weight loss as your mother calling your crop top brave. But wear what you want.”
    (04:43)

• 'Freckles' on the Moon

  • Scientists find a “freckle” on the moon:

    “The moon’s dermatologist says it looks harmless, but WebMD says the moon’s gonna die.”
    (04:57)

• Birds Mimicking R2D2

  • Birds have learned to “tweet” like R2D2, with Stephen delighted at the resemblance.

    “But still not as impressive as this. [imitates Darth Vader:] ‘I find your lack of faith disturbing.’”
    (05:22)

Meanwhile (07:11–13:27)

• Band Plug and Louis’s New Single

  • Colbert highlights bandleader Louis’s surprise at his new song’s midnight release:

    Louis: “I realized this at 12:06am… I forgot until I got a notification on my phone.”
    (07:29) Colbert: “The song is ‘Can’t Hide No More’... stream wherever y’all listen to music.”
    (07:54)

• Colbert’s News Balloon Metaphor

  • Humorous explanation of his monologue-writing, likening it to constructing an elaborate and wacky hot air balloon:

    “I spend most of my time over there in the news factory sewing the most topical ripstop story…”
    (08:06)

• Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban Divorce

  “Sad, yes, but not totally shocking. I suspected something was up when she kept going to the movies all by herself.”
  (08:47)

• Dispensary Fire in Denver

  • After a fire, the anecdote is delivered from the fire chief’s surreal, possibly high perspective:

    “Are people watching us? It feels like everyone’s watching us… is this how I always hold a hose? What a weird word.”
    (09:15)

• Stolen Walrus Penis from Cheesesteak Shop

  “A beloved walrus penis has been stolen from a New Jersey cheesesteak icon. Can we please go back and address the phrase ‘beloved walrus penis’?”

  • (09:39)*

  “I mean, I like my narwhal scrotum, but I love my walrus penis.”
  (09:48)

• Robot Movement Video

  • Colbert marvels at a viral robot that mirrors human motion, then mockingly announces:

    “I think science can stop now. We’ve achieved whatever the point of the enlightenment was.”
    (10:07)

• Jellyfish Sleep Like Humans

  “They also ate a family-sized pack of fudge stripes and lay down on the floor.”
  (10:17)

• Rejected Vanity License Plates

  • Illinois rejects plates such as “ICUP” and “I B Poop.” Colbert jokes:

    “Which was tough news for Dr. Ib Beepin. You laugh, but right now someone in Chicago is going, ‘Ib, Ib! They said your name on TV!’”
    (10:41)

• Snakebite Antivenom Hero

  • A man lets snakes bite him 202 times for antivenom research:

    “Says it always burns and it’s always, always painful. Which, coincidentally, is still the official slogan of White Castle.”
    (11:10)

• Huge Texas Baby

  • A Texas mom gives birth just shy of 13 lbs. Stephen announces:

    “That name, of course… Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow.”
    (12:24)

• Celtic War Trumpet Discovery

  “An extraordinary Iron Age war trumpet has been uncovered in England… researchers have released a simulation of how this spine-chilling war trumpet sounded during battle.”
  (12:40)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Banana Water Segment:
  Colbert’s descriptor:

  “Mm, mm, mm. Perfect for anyone saying, ‘I love water. I just wish it was thicker.’” (02:36)

• Doomsday Glacier:

  “Iceberg. And it’s also filled with snakes. Yeah, yeah, people don’t talk about that.” (03:28)

• Galaxy Frog Porn Search Admission:

  “That’s why there’s no galaxy Frog porn. And I’ve looked a lot using my work computer. They can’t fire me twice.” (03:51)

• Stolen Walrus Penis:

  “I like my narwhal scrotum, but I love my walrus penis.” (09:48)

• Snakebite Antivenom Research:

  “It always burns and it’s always, always painful. Which, coincidentally, is still the official slogan of White Castle.” (11:10)

Timestamps for Key Segments

• Sound of Science Intro — 01:49
• Banana Water — 02:31
• Drinking & Dark Chocolate Science — 03:02, 04:27
• Doomsday Glacier Joke — 03:28
• Frogologists & Galaxy Frog — 03:51
• Lab-Grown Fruit Cells — 04:12
• Weight Loss Drug — 04:43
• Meanwhile Segment Begins — 07:11
• Louis’s New Single Plug — 07:29
• Nicole Kidman & Keith Urban Divorce — 08:47
• Denver Dispensary Fire — 09:15
• Stolen Walrus Penis Story — 09:39
• Snakebite Antivenom Hero — 11:10
• Texas 13-lb Baby — 12:24
• Celtic War Trumpet Discovery — 12:40

Episode Tone and Feel

• Energetic, whimsical, rapid-fire.
• Heavy reliance on witty asides, self-deprecating humor, and wordplay.
• Colbert’s delivery is sarcastic, playful, and slightly irreverent.
• Most segments navigate the border of absurdity and real-world news.

This episode will delight fans of science oddities and offbeat headlines, offering plenty of laugh-out-loud moments, all in Colbert’s unmistakable style. For listeners, it’s a reminder that even the weirdest news can become high entertainment in the right hands.