Meanwhile | Sound of Science: LOTR Wedding

Summary

---

The Late Show Pod Show with Stephen Colbert

Episode: Meanwhile | Sound of Science: LOTR Wedding
Date: November 2, 2025
Host: Stephen Colbert
Podcast: CBS

---

Episode Overview

This episode delivers another serving of Stephen Colbert’s signature wit as he dives into quirky news and scientific studies with a blend of playful irreverence and sharp commentary. The main segments include the ever-popular "Meanwhile," where Colbert riffs on the latest oddball news headlines—from Kourtney Kardashian’s “lollipop” venture to an unexpected Lord of the Rings appearance at a wedding—and the "Sound of Science," which delves into surprising science news including lead in protein powders and the origins of anxiety. Throughout, Colbert keeps the tone humorous and fast-paced—balancing clever jokes, pop culture references, and smart observations.

---

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Meanwhile: Offbeat News from Around the World

(Begins at 04:01)

• Kourtney Kardashian’s “Vaginal Lollipops”

  • Colbert humorously reacts to the news of Kardashian’s new product, “lollipops for your vagina,” poking fun at the concept and riffing on the product’s price and possible uses:

    “They are a great way to help your vagina quit smoking.” (05:08)

• Elijah Wood at a Hobbiton Wedding

  • Colbert shares the story of Elijah Wood (Frodo) surprising a couple at their wedding on the Hobbiton set in New Zealand, sarcastically adding,

    “Sadly, he then threw their rings into a volcano.” (05:30)

• Australian Man Steals $5,000 of Loububus

  • Stephen pokes fun at the news of a theft involving “Loububus,” clarifies these are not French toddlers falling, and riffs on the trend of “Rat Boo Boo” collectibles in New York:

    “For the uninitiated... Leboobus are elf-like creatures... not, as I thought, what it’s called when a French toddler falls down.” (05:54)

• Twix Launches Hallo Mask and Twix Snowman

  • Jokes about never having seen the inside of a fun-sized Twix and comically details his two methods of consumption:

    “It either goes straight down the fun hole, or tucked under my tongue like a thermometer while it melts.” (06:44)

• Japanese Butt Breathing Technique for Lung Conditions

  • Colbert reads about a new enema-based treatment and claims it’s “a treatment you may already have experienced if you’ve ever been to a water park.” (07:36)

• Scientists Urge Bombing AI Labs

  • With absurd deadpan, Stephen addresses the dystopian warning that world governments should bomb AI research centers:

    “We’re talking truly impossible calculations like splitting a group dinner check at PF Changs.” (08:20)

• The “Hill vs. Mountain” Debate

  • Wraps up the “Meanwhile” segment by debating what counts as a mountain and names “Little Bitch Boy Hill” for comedic effect. (09:09)

---

2. The Sound of Science: Weird and Worrying Scientific Studies

(Begins at 09:24)

• Lead Contamination in Protein Powders

  • Colbert warns listeners about high lead levels found in popular protein powders, jokes about supplement regulation:

    “Pretty sure any amount of lead is bad. That's like your doctor saying, ‘um, I’m looking at your X-ray ... it has a worrisome amount of thumbtacks.’” (10:04)

  • Specific callout of “Naked Nutrition’s Vegan Mass Gainer” as the worst offender.
  • Mocks supplement industry’s lax regulations:

    “Centrum’s slogan is 'complete from A to zinc and a bunch of meth in between.'” (10:40)

• The Quest for Female Viagra

  • Introduces the concept of “sex deserts”—periods of sexual inactivity—and jokes:

    “Also the setting of my favorite movie, Lawrence of—next up, you are fun in Abu Dhabi.” (11:09)

• Genetic Risk of Depression in Women

  • Shares study findings that women have more depression-linked genetic variants than men (16 vs. 8):

    “Wow. Women really can have it all. Slay my melancholy queen.” (11:31)

• Exercise Snacks

  • Playfully misunderstands “exercise snacks” as literal snacks, before clarifying:

    “Don’t try to trick me into exercise with words that sound like food. I'm looking at you, Crunch Fitness.” (12:54)

• Origins of Anxiety: Womb Stress

  • Describes research suggesting that stress or infection during pregnancy might rewire a baby’s brain:

    “Luckily, it’s easy to take all the stress out of pregnancy...” He proceeds to list a hilariously long set of impossible wellness instructions. (13:21)

  • “Not to nitpick, but maybe they treat the whole world as a threat because they’re lab mice.” (14:30)

---

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Pistachios (banter during ad, showing the episode’s playful tone):

  Stephen Colbert (01:16): “I am celebrating the pistachio right now. I’m on board. I love pistachios.”

• On Hobbiton Wedding:

  Stephen Colbert (05:32): “He then threw their rings into a volcano. Technically, he didn’t do that.”

• On AI Labs Warning:

  Stephen Colbert (08:21): “We’re talking truly impossible calculations, like splitting a group dinner check at PF Changs.”

• On Protein Powder Warning:

  Stephen Colbert (10:14): “‘That’s like your doctor saying, um, I’m looking at your X-ray of your bladder here. It has a worrisome amount of thumbtacks.’”

• On “Exercise Snacks”:

  Stephen Colbert (12:57): “Don’t try to trick me into exercise with words that sound like food. I’m looking at you, Crunch Fitness.”

• On Pregnancy Anxiety Advice:

  Stephen Colbert (13:30): “Just eat healthy, avoid coffee, don’t drink, get sleep, but don’t lay on your back … Throw up every time you smell lemons for some reason. And don’t forget to enjoy it. It’s a mirac.”

---

Important Segments & Timestamps

• Pistachio Banter: 01:05 – 03:00
• Meanwhile segment begins: 04:01
  • Kourtney Kardashian lollipops: 05:08
  • Elijah Wood at LOTR wedding: 05:30
  • Loububus theft: 05:54
  • Twix product launch: 06:44
  • Japanese butt breathing: 07:36
  • AI lab bombing warning: 08:00
  • Hill vs. mountain debate: 09:09
• Sound of Science segment begins: 09:24
  • Lead in protein powders: 10:00
  • Female Viagra/sex desert: 11:09
  • Genetic depression risk: 11:31
  • Exercise snacks: 12:54
  • Pregnancy anxiety origins: 13:21

---

Summary Tone & Language

Stephen Colbert’s signature satirical and quick-witted style permeates the episode. He expertly balances topical humor with thoughtful cultural and scientific commentary, always with a playful, slightly absurdist edge. Jokes and sarcasm drive each segment, but the underlying information is surprisingly thorough and accessible.

---

Note: Advertisements and sponsor segments have been omitted from this summary.

Transcript

[Stephen Colbert]

Hey, everybody. Stephen Colbert here about to read the copy for our sponsor. This is from our friends at Wonderful Pistachios. And I was the wonderful pistachio spokesman for years. Yeah, I have a real close association with nut meat. Okay. You know what they say when they reach for a snack? Don't hold back. And that's exactly the approach with Wonderful Pistachios. The don't hold back snack. These little wonders are so tasty, it feels like getting away with something. But surprise. Each serving has 6 grams of protein and 0 grams of regret. That's right. No guilt. Just glory, glory in our nuts. Whether it's a satisfying crack of in shell pistachios, and that's capitalized in shell, or the smooth, instant gratification of no shells. No judgment. That's just it. Just eat. No judgment. I take issue with one thing. It's instant gratification. It's super tasty smooth.

[Guest or Co-host]

It's a hard nut smooth.

[Stephen Colbert]

Exactly. I mean, even out of the shell, it's still a nut.

[Guest or Co-host]

We can't disparage the nuts.

[Announcer or Advertiser]

You.

[Stephen Colbert]

I'm not disparaging the nut. I'm describing the nut.

[Guest or Co-host]

Don't disparage any flavors.

[Stephen Colbert]

I'm not. I am celebrating the pistachio right now. I'm on board. I love pistachios.

[Announcer or Advertiser]

I love.

[Stephen Colbert]

I love crushed pistachio. Like a pistachio crusted trout. Oh, unbelievable. Instead of a trout amandine, a trout pistachio. Fantastic. Enough butter? Who cares?

[Guest or Co-host]

Very good.

[Stephen Colbert]

And I love pistachio ice cream.

[Guest or Co-host]

Have you had the sea salt and vinegar? Wonderful pistachio. It's delicious. I get them.

[Stephen Colbert]

I didn't even know I get them.

[Guest or Co-host]

Before the softball games.

[Stephen Colbert]

But that's. You see, it's been a while since I've been the spokesman for wonderful pistachios. I didn't realize we'd achieved new pistachio technology.

[Guest or Co-host]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Announcer or Advertiser]

Wow.

[Stephen Colbert]

Wonderful pistachios has every snack style covered. Right now. There's an obsession with jalapeno lime. There is an obsession session. It's almost a disorder. It's spicy, it's zesty. It's basically a flavor roller coaster in a nut. Snacking on the go. Grab a bag of no shells. Feeling contemplative and want to work for it a little. So earning it, they're saying if you want to earn your nut, crack open those in shell beauties. Either way, it's snacking like a champ. So the next time hunger strikes, don't hold back. Unless it's a hunger strike. And then it's important that you do, because whatever you're doing that for, I'm sure it's a worthwhile cause. Snack like you mean it with wonderful pistachios. Visit wonderfulpistachios.com to learn more.

[Guest or Co-host]

That was a wonderful.

[Stephen Colbert]

I wonder what more there is to learn. We just told them so much. We just told them so much about pistachios, but evidently there's a whole other world. There's an unexplored vista.

[Guest or Co-host]

They got a bunch of flavors. They got dill pickle, jalapeno lime, as we learned, smoky barbecue. There's a lot of different flavors.

[Stephen Colbert]

Wow. And I would not disparage any of them.

[Guest or Co-host]

No, no, no.

[Stephen Colbert]

Bring it on.

[Guest or Co-host]

Nothing bad to say.

[Stephen Colbert]

Nut me, nut, nut me with nut meat.

[Guest or Co-host]

We're nut.

[Stephen Colbert]

No, we got nothing but nut. Nutty, nutty, nutty, nutty. Talk about, talk about, talk about, talk about nutty. Good mint is still $15 a month for premium wireless. And if you haven't made the switch yet, here are 15 reasons why you should. One, it's $15 a month. Two, seriously, it's $15 a month. Three, no big contracts. Four, I use it. Five, my mom uses it. Are you, are you playing me off? That's what's happening, right? Okay, give it a try. @mintmobile.com Switch upfront payment of $45 for.

[Announcer or Advertiser]

Three month plan, $15 per month equivalent required. New customer offer first three months only, then full price plan options available, taxes and fees extra. See mintmobile.com it's the late Show Poncho with Stephen Colbert.

[Stephen Colbert]

Folks. If you watch the show, you know I spend a lot of my time right over there in the news kitchen, combining the most topical news pork from Ilocos, pigs with Fiesta pinoy, brown sugar, paprika and garlic, which I fry in baguio canola oil to make the complex flavor Filipino longganiza sausages that are my monologue. But sometimes, just sometimes, folks, after getting jumped out of a Mexican cartel for stealing El Flaco's girl, I cram the pepperoni I scraped out of a discarded Totino's pizza roll and the meat from a half eaten corn dog into a pop can until it congeals into the Rambler Spam of news that is my segment. Meanwhile. This is just a joke. This is like hypodermic needle of adrenaline into the. Meanwhile, in unusual confection news, Kourtney Kardashian is launching a line of lollipops for your vagina. Clearly, she did not read the instructions. The vaginal lollipops cost $5.99 per pack. And while they may sound unappealing, they are a great way to help your vagina quit smoking. Meanwhile. Oh goodness. Meanwhile, last weekend, the Lord of the Rings, Elijah Wood gave a couple the surprise of a lifetime at their shire wedding. This couple was getting married in New Zealand on the set of Hobbiton from the movies when Frodo himself showed up and posed with them at the altar. Sadly, he then threw their rings into a volcano. Technically, he didn't do that. He was actually Golubu. I know. Meanwhile, an Australian man has been charged with stealing Loububus worth $5,000, which is a lot or a little. I don't how much doo doo loboo Boo cost. Also, what are they again? I'm so tired. For the uninitiated or uninterested, Leboobus are elf like creatures with plush bodies and vinyl faces adorned with pointy ears. And not, as I thought, what it's called when a French toddler falls down. Mon pepe avec le beau Boo. Oh, there there. Mama will give you a cigarette. There you go. In other Le Boo Boo. Le new news, a pop up is selling a New York themed Le Boo Boo that they're calling Rat Boo Boo. Just be careful in New York. If you get a rat Boo Boo, the next thing you get is rat Hopatitis. Meanwhile. Meanwhile, Twix is covering both Halloween and Christmas in one with their new Hallo mask, which is a bag containing Twix goulash green with a green cookie inside and the new Twix snowman. And the strangest thing about this entire thing is that they think I've ever seen the inside of a fun sized Twix. It's 2 inches long, there's no chewing involved. It either goes straight down the fun hole or tucked under my tongue like a thermometer while it melts. Meanwhile, medical researchers say that a Japanese butt breathing technique could help people with lung conditions. The technique works like an enema slipping oxygen rich liquid straight into the rectum. A treatment you may already have experienced if you've ever been to a water park. Meanwhile.

[Announcer or Advertiser]

There you go.

[Guest or Co-host]

That.

[Stephen Colbert]

Move that up a little bit. There you go. Meanwhile, from the smile file. Scientists have warned governments that they must bomb AI labs to prevent the end of the world, because machines will continue to outpace human thought at an incredible rate, doing calculations in 16 hours which would take a human 14,000 years to figure out. We're talking truly impossible calculations, like splitting a group Dinner check at PF Changs. Okay. Carly shared the Kung Pao dragon roll with Becca. Okay. Brian got the lo mein, but gave some to Michael. And Dave said the Dan Dan noodles for the table. But let's face it, they were really for Dave. Dave. So, everyone. Oh, God, I wish a computer could figure this out while also destroying the world. Meanwhile, new data has determined the real height at which a hill becomes a mountain. Elevation is part of the equation, though some define mountains entirely by the roughness and ruggedness of the terrain. Of course, every real mountaineer knows about the towering but not very rugged slopes of Little Bitch Boy Hill.

[Announcer or Advertiser]

More Late Show Pond show after this.

[Stephen Colbert]

Folks, as I have proved over and over again, I love science. Because without science, we wouldn't have science fiction. Without science fiction, we wouldn't have Star Trek. And without Star Trek, we wouldn't have the sexy green lady. Thank you, science. And because I love science, I like to tell you all about the latest science news in my science segment, the Sound of Science. Hello, science, my old friend. First up in science. A little late. Little late on the button. They didn't realize at first how much excitement they had for this segment, but then they realized it. First up on the science. Protein powder. You know its slogan. Hey, bro, I wasn't done with the lap machine. Well, bad news. According to new research, your favorite protein powder could be exposing you to worrisome amounts of lead. Pretty sure any amount of lead is bad. They're being a little nonchalant with that report. That's like your doctor saying, um, I'm looking at your X ray of your bladder here. It has a worrisome amount of thumbtacks. The study analyzed popular brands of powders and shakes and found that the product with the highest level of lead was Naked Nutrition's Vegan Mass Gainer protein powder, which had 7.7 micrograms of lead per serving, which is the most lead in any protein powder since the discontinued muscle milk cookies and paint chips. So how did. How delicious, though? So delicious. So how did this happen? Well, legally, protein powders and shakes aren't food. They're supplements. And supplements are not regulated in the United States in the same way that food and drugs are. Which is why Centrum's slogan is complete from A to zinc and a bunch of meth in between. That would be good right now. I can go for a rail of Centrum right now. In libidinous news, scientists have begun a quest to find the female Viagra to help women with low libidos. Some of whom have fallen into what they call a sex desert. A sex desert is when someone goes a long time without sex. Also, the setting of my favorite movie, Lawrence of Next up, you are fun in Abu Dhabi. Next up in the Science Zone, a new study says women carry a higher genetic risk of depression. Wow. Women really can have it all. Slay my melancholy queen. The research found 16 genetic variants linked to depression in women, but only eight in men. And the higher genetic risk in females could be due to those female specific variants or due to wandering around the sex desert. Next up, scientists say that exercise snacks can improve heart fitness. Ooh, I love those exercise snacks. There's nothing like going for a brisk jog with a fresh jar of Nutella. What's that? Oh, I'm being told that that's not what it means. Apparently, exercise snacks are short bursts of deliberative activity, like walking around the block or lifting small weights.

[Announcer or Advertiser]

Boo.

[Stephen Colbert]

Don't try to trick me into exercise with words that sound like food. I'm looking at you, Crunch Fitness. Don't name your gym after the sound nachos make. If your gym doesn't have a nacho bar, it's the color of nachos for sake. Up next, a new study has found that your anxiety might have started in the womb because stress or infection during pregnancy may rewire the developing baby's brain in ways that crank up the risk of adult anxiety later in life. Luckily, it's easy to take all the stress out of pregnancy. Just eat healthy, avoid coffee, don't drink, get sleep, but don't lay on your back. Stay hydrated, use mineral sunscreen. Figure out how to do the maternity paperwork for your job. Hope they don't replace you while you're gone. Watch your body change in unimaginable and sometimes horrifying ways. Throw up every time you smell lemons for some reason. And don't forget to enjoy it. It's a mirac. In studies of lab mice, inflammation, which can be caused by stress or illness during pregnancy caused their DNA to get a few extra software patches while in the womb that told them to treat the whole world as one significant threat. Not to nitpick, but maybe they treat the whole world as a threat because they're lab mice. Thank you for listening to the Late Show POD show with Stephen Colbert. Just one more thing. If you want to see more of me, come to The Late Show YouTube channel for more clips and exclusives.

[Announcer or Advertiser]

As the seasons change, it's the perfect time to learn something new. Whether you're getting back into a routine after summer or looking for a new challenge before the year ends. Rosetta Stone makes it easy to turn a few minutes a day into real Language progress Rosetta Stone is the trusted leader in language learning for over 30 years. Their immersive, intuitive method helps you naturally absorb and retain your new language on desktop or mobile, whenever and wherever it fits your schedule. With 30 years of experience, millions of users and 25 languages to choose from, including Spanish, French, German, Japanese and more, Rosetta Stone is the Go to tool for real language growth. Don't wait. Unlock your language learning potential now. Listeners of this podcast can grab Rosetta Stone's lifetime membership for 50% off. That's unlimited access to 25 language courses for life. Visit RosettaStone.com RS10 to get started and claim your 50% off today. Don't miss out. Go to Rosetta Stone.com RS10 and start learning today.

[Stephen Colbert]

Now streaming on Paramount plus Brandon was the full package.

[Announcer or Advertiser]

I felt like I met my.

[Stephen Colbert]

Stop talking God.

[Announcer or Advertiser]

But he's not even close to the person that I thought he was. When you do break up with Brandon, that is when stalking begins. I just knew something horrific was about to happen. I saw the devil in his eyes. We're gonna tell everyone what he did.

[Stephen Colbert]

Don't date Brandon. Now streaming on Paramount plus.