Meanwhile | Sound of Science: The Poop Rule

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Late Show Pod Show with Stephen Colbert - "Meanwhile | Sound of Science: The Poop Rule"

Release Date: June 1, 2025

In the June 1st episode of The Late Show Pod Show with Stephen Colbert, host Stephen Colbert delivers his signature blend of humor, sharp commentary, and insightful discussions. This episode, titled "Meanwhile | Sound of Science: The Poop Rule," seamlessly combines topical monologues with engaging science segments, offering listeners a delightful mix of entertainment and information.

---

Monologue: "Meanwhile" Segments

Colbert kicks off the episode with his "Meanwhile" segment, where he juxtaposes various news stories and quirky anecdotes with his trademark wit.

1. Gwyneth Paltrow and Goop’s Vagina Candle (02:15)
   Colbert highlights Gwyneth Paltrow's defense of Goop's unconventional products, specifically the "Smells Like My Vagina" candle. He humorously comments, “Women are socialized to feel a lot of shame. And we are beautiful and we are awesome. And go yourself.” This remark underscores the often bizarre nature of celebrity-endorsed wellness products while poking fun at their marketing tactics.

2. Swiss Cows Airlifted for Safety (04:05)
   Transitioning to lighter news, Colbert mentions cows in a Swiss village being airlifted to safety due to a potential rock slide. He quips, “That is one confused cow,” and humorously critiques the updated emergency signals, saying, “That's a very convincing. That's a spot on impression.”

3. The Poop Rule for Decluttering (05:50)
   Referencing the Washington Post, Colbert introduces the "Poop Rule" for decluttering: “While decluttering, ask yourself, if something was covered in poop, would I still keep it?” He shares his personal disdain for messy items with a laugh, adding, “I rarely keep it. My doctor's like, send me a box of that.”

4. Astrology and Tarot Card Trends (07:00)
   Discussing a Pew Research poll, Colbert notes that nearly a third of U.S. adults consult astrology and tarot cards. He satirizes the trend by comparing it to cult-like behavior: “Like wearing matching jumpsuits and sexually worshipping an ex Blockbuster employee named Father Brad.”

5. White Castle and Heelys Collaboration (08:30)
   Colbert touches on White Castle’s nostalgic move to collaborate with Heelys, the shoe with wheels. He nostalgically remarks, “Make you long for a time when you were flexible enough to use Heelys and young enough to digest White Castle.”

6. Austin Book Club’s Marathon Reading (09:45)
   Highlighting a book club in Austin that has been reading James Joyce’s Finnegans Wake for twelve years, Colbert humorously comments on their slow progress: “Maybe reading's not your thing. It’s okay just to get drunk together.”

7. MrBeast’s Ancient Maya Advertising (11:10)
   Colbert criticizes YouTube celebrity MrBeast for advertising snacks in ancient Maya cities, drawing a parallel to classic adventure films: “There hasn't been a shameless abuse of ancient ruins like this since the filming of Indiana Jones and the Temple of Dew.”

8. Sit to Stand Test for Aging (12:00)
   Addressing a new medical test, Colbert explains the "Sit to Stand" test that assesses balance as an indicator of longevity. He humorously reassures listeners about his own robust health: “My doctor says I have mid-century modern legs, sleek, understated and solid white coat.”

---

Sound of Science: Latest Scientific Insights

Transitioning from the comedic monologue, Colbert introduces his "Sound of Science" segment, where he delves into recent scientific discoveries with his characteristic humor.

1. Bees’ Sleep Patterns (07:35)
   Colbert discusses a study revealing that bees sleep like humans by quieting certain neuronal networks, allowing them to lie awake and ponder, “if they said hi in a weird way to Brenda from accounting.”

2. Chocolate Reducing Blood Pressure (08:10)
   Highlighting research that suggests chocolate can lower blood pressure as effectively as some medications, Colbert jokes, “Screw your Mediterranean diet. I am now under the care of Dr. Ferrero Rocher.”

3. Carnivorous Bone Collector Caterpillars (08:45)
   Colbert explores the discovery of a species of caterpillars that use insect cadavers for camouflage and engage in cannibalism. He quips, “Honey, get all cozy. It’s time to read the Very Hungry Caterpillar who builds a disguise from insect cadavers and occasionally engages in cannibalism.”

4. Human Mutation for Reduced Sleep (09:20)
   Addressing a newly discovered mutation purportedly allowing humans to sleep fewer hours without negative health impacts, Colbert makes an edgy joke: “The mutation is called cocaine.”

5. Dating Preferences: Bald Men (10:00)
   Referencing a study that finds women are more attracted to bald men, Colbert humorously blames himself and his co-host Asher: “So, you're looking to meet women? No, I’m happily married. I just like to show America what they can't have.”

6. Giant Prehistoric Kangaroos (10:35)
   Discussing fossil analysis revealing that giant kangaroos preferred staying home, Colbert humorously attributes their behavior to mere social preferences: “When they go out, they have a good time, but on the way home, they tell themselves, this is why you go out. You like going out. And I’m never doing that again.”

7. Decline of Prairie Birds (11:10)
   Colbert addresses the steep decline in prairie bird populations, including species like the Henslow Sparrow and the Tiny Sedge Wren. He adds a side note with a pun: “If you find that your dick sizzle is gold splashed, take half a step back from the urinal.”

8. Chewing Gum and Microplastics (11:50)
   Finally, Colbert discusses a study indicating that chewing gum may release thousands of microplastics into saliva, extending the joke to natural gums: “But don’t worry, they still taste like chewing Toms of Maine deodorant.”

---

Notable Quotes

• On Goop’s Candle
  “Women are socialized to feel a lot of shame. And we are beautiful and we are awesome. And go yourself.”
  (02:15)

• On the Poop Rule
  “If something was covered in poop, would I still keep it? No.”
  (05:50)

• On Chocolate and Health
  “Screw your Mediterranean diet. I am now under the care of Dr. Ferrero Rocher.”
  (08:10)

• On Human Mutation and Sleep
  “The mutation is called cocaine.”
  (09:20)

• On Chewing Gum Microplastics
  “But don’t worry, they still taste like chewing Toms of Maine deodorant.”
  (11:50)

---

Conclusion

Stephen Colbert's episode "Meanwhile | Sound of Science: The Poop Rule" masterfully intertwines humor with current events and scientific discoveries. His ability to dissect and comment on diverse topics—from celebrity antics and environmental concerns to groundbreaking scientific studies—provides listeners with both laughter and enlightenment. Whether you're a longtime fan or new to the podcast, this episode offers a compelling blend of entertainment and insightful commentary that resonates with a broad audience.

For those eager to explore more, The Late Show Pod Show with Stephen Colbert continues to deliver engaging content daily, allowing listeners to stay informed and entertained. Don’t forget to use the discount code "TLS20" for 20% off all Late Show products on ParamountShop.com and tune in to watch the show live on CBS or stream it on Paramount+.

---

Keywords: Stephen Colbert, The Late Show Pod Show, podcast summary, Sound of Science, poop rule, monologue, satire, scientific insights, humor, current events, June 1, 2025.

Transcript

[Bombas Advertisement]

You buy a pair of socks, that's two socks. You buy a pair of Bombas socks, that's four socks. Because one purchased is one donated. Socks are the number one most requested clothing item in homeless shelters. So when you buy a pair of super comfortable Bombas socks, you're also donating a pair. Bombas customers have powered over 150 million donations, so Bombas would like to thank you 150 million times, but we only have like 30 seconds. Go to bombas.com cozy and use code cozy for 20% off your first purchase. That's B O M b-s.com cozy and use code Cozy at checkout.

[Rosetta Stone Advertisement]

Whether you're jetting off to a new destination, leveling up at work, or simply feeding your curiosity, speaking a new language can change your life. And now Rosetta Stone makes it easier and more immersive than ever. With 30 years of expertise in 25 languages, from French and German to Japanese and Vietnamese, Rosetta Stone's Truaxent speech engine gives instant feedback on your pronunciation. See, you sound natural every time. And because there's no English translation, you start thinking in your new language right away. Rosetta Stone has lessons that fit your lifestyle on desktop or mobile. And today you can get Rosetta Stone's lifetime membership for unlimited access to all 25 languages at 50% off. Don't wait, unlock your language learning potential. Now listeners of this podcast can grab Rosetta Stone's lifetime membership for 50% off. That's unlimited access to 25 language courses for life. Visit RosettaStone.com RS10 to get your 50% off today. Don't miss out. Go to RosettaStone.com RS10 and start learning. Today it's the Late Show Poncho with Stephen Colbert.

[Stephen Colbert]

Folks, if you watch the show, you know I spend most of my time right over there in the news kitchen, gently roasting the most topical Duclair story duck with thyme and orange zest, before blending the meat with Dijon Armagnac and its own fats to create the subtle and rich riette that is my monologue. But sometimes, sometimes, folks, I wake up under a carny's funnel cake fryer where I scrape the drippings into a discarded clamshell of a half eaten corn dog and gnaw on the drifter's faux gras of news. That is my segment. Meanwhile, that's a vacation. That's the only vacation I need. I'm staying here, just eating more of this over the break. Meanwhile, Gwyneth Paltrow is still defending Goop's smells like my vagina candle, saying, women are socialized to feel a lot of shame. And we are beautiful and we are awesome. And go yourself. And if you need any help doing that, ladies, the Goop website has many options. Meanwhile, in a Swiss village, cows under threat of a rock slide were airlifted to safety via helicopter. Take a look. That is one confused cow. And I'm pretty sure they're going to have to update the c and say, oh, God. Oh, my. That's a very convincing. That's a spot on impression. Oh, yeah. Meanwhile, the Washington Post asks, struggling to declutter. Try the poop rule. Yes, the poop rule, which they define as. While decluttering, ask yourself, if something was covered in poop, would I still keep it? No. I think no to anything you could name. I don't even like. I don't even like that my poop has poop on it. That's why I rarely keep it. My doctor's like, send me a box of that. He's a sad. Meanwhile, in new Pew Research polls shows that nearly a third of US Adults consult astrology and tarot cards. One in three. Okay, do the math. Turn to your left, then turn to your right. One of you is such a Sagittarius. Experts say the trend comes gen zers and millennials have increasingly broadened or reconstructed their spirituality around non traditional religious activities. Which really sounds like how someone in a cult would deny being in a cult. No, no. I've just reconstructed my spirituality around non traditional religious activities, like wearing matching jumpsuits and sexually worshipping an ex Blockbuster employee named Father Brad. Now go eat your grain and stay on the compound. Meanwhile, White Castle is getting nostalgic with a limited edition Heelys collaboration. Yeah, make you long for a time when you were flexible enough to use Heelys and young enough to digest White Castle. Wow. I could go for some Crave. I could take a Crave case. Oh, yeah, let's get a. Want a Crave case for edit. Get a crave case. Meanwhile, a book club in Austin has been reading the Same book for 12 years, and they're not even close to done. You know what? Maybe reading's not your thing. It's okay just to get drunk together. Now, the club selection is the notoriously dense James Joyce classic Finnegan's Wake, which a member says, we're only reading one page at a time. Now, for my viewers who do not have a passion for modernist Irish literature, Finnegan's Wake starts and ends with a sentence fragment, combines multiple languages and has no clear or linear plot. It's a literary style known as the menu at the Cheesecake Factory. Okay, welcome everybody. Hey everybody. If you haven't heard me before, welcome folks. Tonight we have aji poke, nachos, shepherd's calzone, jalapeno, loganberry, gnocchi, poppers and surprisingly little cheesecake. Got something. Meanwhile, Mexico is seeking compensation from YouTube celebrity MrBeast's production company after he traveled to ancient Maya cities to advertise his own brand of snacks. There hasn't been a shameless abuse of ancient ruins like this since the filming of Indiana Jones and the Temple of Dew. Meanwhile, medical experts have devised a simple test called Sit to stand that reveals how you're aging. Balance is one of the key indicators of longevity and experts are warning elderly people to stay active and avoid bungalow legs or weak legs from living in a single story home. I don't have to worry about that. My doctor says I have mid century modern legs, sleek, understated and solid white coat.

[Bombas Advertisement]

More late show pod show after this.

[Stephen Colbert]

Folks. I love science. Hard sciences, soft sciences, blue sciences, goat sciences. Wait, that's cheese. I love cheese, it turns out. But science is pretty good too. And I'd like to tell you all about the latest science news in my long running science segment, the Sound of Science. Hello, science, my old friend. Stay. First up, a new study has revealed that by quieting down certain neuronal networks, bees sleep like humans. So they lie awake until 2am Wondering if they said hi in a weird way to Brenda from accounting. That's my view. Next up, according to new research, chocolate can lower blood pressure just as well as some medications. You hear that, Dr. Conroy? Screw your Mediterranean diet. I am now under the care of Dr. Ferrero Rocher. Okay? He's European and he lets me smoke. Oh, here's a cute story. Scientists have discovered a species of carnivorous bone collector caterpillars that wear corpses as camouflage. Okay, sounds unusual, but there is an evolutionary reason they do this. They are sick bastards. Apparently, the bone collectors build a disguise from insect cadavers and occasionally engage in cannibalism. Wow, neat. Though that might change some children's books. Okay, honey, get all cozy. It's time to read the Very Hungry Caterpillar who builds a disguise from insect cadavers and occasionally engages in cannibalism. Or Goodnight Moon. Either one. Next up, scientists have found a newly discovered mutation that allows humans to naturally sleep much fewer hours a night without any negative health effects. The mutation is called cocaine. Meanwhile. Okay, meanwhile, in dating News. According to a new study, women are more attracted to bald men. Okay. There's no joke there. Who wrote this? I, I, I, I did. Asher. You, You, You, Asher, do you have a joke for this? Asher? No, I just want to get the word out. So. So you're looking to meet women? No, I, I'm, I'm happily married. I just, I like to show America what they can't have. Eyes down here, ladies. How's the, how's the basketball going, Asher? Real bad. Next up, according to new fossil analysis, giant prehistoric kangaroos preferred to chill at home and didn't like to go out much. Further research indicates that when the giant kangaroos did go out, they actually had a pretty good time. And on the way home, they would tell themselves, this is why you go out. You like going out. And I'm never doing that again. Next up, according to a new study, prairie birds are in steep decline. Prairie birds are disappearing. Prairie dogs, your reaction? It's an oldie, but a goodie. The decrease is due in part to a reduction in habitat and includes such birds as Henslow Sparrow, the Tiny Sedge wren, and the gold splashed dick sizzle. Side note, if you find that your dick sizzle is gold splashed, take half a step back from the urinal. Next up. Really? Applause, applause. Next up on the Sound of psy, a new study says that chewing gum may release thousands of microplastics into the saliva. What? But I thought the razzleberry flavored wad of chemically extruded sneaker sole I was chewing was safe. And the hippies aren't immune either, folks, because the study found that even natural gums weren't plastic free. But don't worry, they still taste like chewing Toms of Maine deodorant. You know their slogan, Tom's of Maine. It's better than nothing. No, it's. Thank you for listening to the Late Show Pod show with Stephen Colbert. Just one more thing. If you want to see more of me, come to The Late Show YouTube channel for more clips and exclusives.

[Wix Advertisement]

Running a business can be exhausting. Building your website shouldn't be. With wix, you can express your ideas, give direction, then leave the heavy lifting to AI. From site creation to branded content and images. Have fun with the details, customize what you want the way you want, and manage your whole business from a centralized dashboard with expert AI tools. Build, scale, and enjoy the incredible results. You can do it all yourself on Wix911.6 emergency.

[Stephen Colbert]

Yes. Somebody told you, girl. My grandbaby and her friends.

[Bombas Advertisement]

My dad.

[Stephen Colbert]

Your dad.

[Bombas Advertisement]

A Paramount plus original.

[Stephen Colbert]

She wants to find more young women for him to kill.

[Bombas Advertisement]

The untold stories of the real cases.

[Stephen Colbert]

Each one he gets away with. He's emboldened the FBI can't shake.

[Bombas Advertisement]

It's very satisfying to be able to look at a bad guy and go, we never forgot you. An all new season of FBI True. Streaming now on Paramount plus.