Meanwhile | The Sound of Science: Easter Megabunny

Summary

The Late Show Pod Show with Stephen Colbert

Episode: Meanwhile | The Sound of Science: Easter Megabunny

Date: April 5, 2026
Host: Stephen Colbert
Podcast by: CBS

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Episode Overview

This episode blends Stephen Colbert’s signature satirical news commentary with quirky scientific insights. The show opens with a “Meanwhile” segment that covers absurd and surprising news stories—from dolphins channeling Michael Jordan to mega-sized Easter chocolates requiring blunt force trauma to eat. The second half is devoted to “The Sound of Science,” a rollicking rundown of recent odd and amusing scientific studies, each met with Colbert’s characteristic wit and skepticism.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. "Meanwhile" Segment: Absurd News Takes (01:51–05:11)

• Dolphin Dunk:
  A dolphin near Hawaii jumped 15 feet out of the water, drawing comparisons to Michael Jordan.

  • Colbert quips:

    “Michael, how do you feel about being compared to that dolphin? Didn’t see that coming.” (03:05)

• Letterboxd Keychain for Cinephiles:
  A viral keychain styled after the film-logging app Letterboxd lets fans show off their favorite movies on the go.

  • Colbert jokes:

    “A fair warning that someone near you is mentally unstable enough to enjoy Tron Aries.” (03:37)

• Costco’s 10-pound Chocolate Easter Bunny (“Pete”):
  Costco introduces a massive, 140 chocolate, 10-pound Easter bunny named Pete—requiring a hammer to eat—and its packaging encourages bold destruction.

  • Highlights from Colbert:

    “The instructions ... suggest customers wrap Pete in a towel and give one bold whack with a hammer, mallet or rolling pin, adding if he pleads, don’t be moved. You are a God and he is your prey.” (04:05) “151 servings. If you’re a coward.” (04:33)

• Cadbury’s 121-pound Chocolate Egg:
  Colbert snarks:

  “But what do I wrap it in before I bludgeon it to death?” (04:48)

• Woodpecker Grunts:
  Scientific finding: Woodpeckers grunt like tennis players when pecking.

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2. "The Sound of Science": Oddball Science News (05:23–10:29)

• Sex in Space:
  Recent studies reveal sperm struggles to navigate the female reproductive tract in microgravity.

  • Colbert’s take:

    “Astronauts are going to have to get closer than that ... one Person’s got to be velcroed to the wall. The other one’s got to strap on a bungee cord. You know they’re up there trying it. Astronauts do love Tang.” (05:53–06:18)

• Self-Scratching Cow:
  A cow named Veronica learned to use a broom to scratch herself—the first documented case of tool use in a pet cow.

  • Colbert (hoping for more):

    “Please be a slap chop. Please be a slap chop. Please. Nope.” (06:49) “Just not quite well enough to defend herself against Ruth’s Chris.” (07:04)

• Sperm Whale Birth Video:
  First-ever close-up video of a sperm whale birth released.

  • Colbert’s Lenten abstinence:

    “One of the things I gave up for Lent is looking at close up shots of whale genitals. But I’ll tell you what, come Monday, Free Willy.” (07:24)

• Light as Crystal Remote:
  Scientists have turned light into a remote control for crystals.

  • Imaginary sci-fi dialogue:

    “Doctor, how can we stop the aliens if their weapons are powered by quartz? I just did a science and I turned light into a remote control for crystals.” (07:55)

• Eye Drops from Pig Semen:
  Groundbreaking treatment: Eye drops made from pig semen deliver cancer meds to mice.

  • Colbert deadpans:

    “Which is good news for the mice and I gotta say, great news for the pigs.” (08:08)

• The Purpose of the Human Chin:
  Humans are unique among mammals in having chins, and scientists still debate the purpose.

  • Colbert’s theory:

    “The chin has a very clear evolutionary purpose. It’s so you can go, hmm, I wonder what a chin is for.” (08:34)

• Cannibal Crabs:
  Blue crabs have a “serious cannibalism problem.”

  • Colbert on dating:

    “Beth, before this relationship goes any further, I should tell you I have a mild cannibalism issue. I hope you still want me to meet your parents. Your dad sounds delicious.” (08:58)

• Recloned Mice Mutation:
  Cloning mice over 20 years led to severe mutations—by the 27th generation, major issues emerge.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

| Timestamp | Quote & Attribution | |-----------|--------------------------------------------------------| | 03:05 | “Michael, how do you feel about being compared to that dolphin? Didn’t see that coming.” – Stephen Colbert | | 04:05 | “You are a God and he is your prey. Be swift and feel the weakness within you. Melting it will be easier next time. Good.” – Stephen Colbert reading Costco bunny instructions | | 05:53 | “Astronauts ... one person’s got to be velcroed to the wall. The other one’s got to strap on a bungee cord.” – Stephen Colbert | | 07:24 | “One of the things I gave up for Lent is looking at close up shots of whale genitals. But I’ll tell you what, come Monday, Free Willy.” – Stephen Colbert | | 08:34 | “The chin has a very clear evolutionary purpose. It’s so you can go, hmm, I wonder what a chin is for.” – Stephen Colbert | | 08:58 | “Beth, before this relationship goes any further, I should tell you I have a mild cannibalism issue.” – Stephen Colbert |

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Start of Meanwhile Segment: 01:51
• Costco Chocolate Bunny: 04:00–04:33
• Science News Segment ("The Sound of Science") Begins: 05:23
• Sex in Space Discussion: 05:53–06:18
• Tool-Using Cow: 06:46–07:04
• Sperm Whale Birth Video: 07:11–07:24
• Purpose of the Chin: 08:34
• Cannibal Crabs: 08:58

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Overall Tone and Style

Colbert’s monologue is irreverent, rapid-fire, and loaded with puns, callbacks, and playful jabs at the oddities of modern science and consumer culture. He maintains a blend of mock-informative delivery and spontaneous comedic riffing throughout—perfect for fans of eccentric news and the humorous side of scientific discovery.

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Summary

This episode is a perfect encapsulation of Stephen Colbert’s unique take on both headline-grabbing oddities and bizarre science. From wielding hammers against giant chocolate bunnies to debating the purpose of the human chin, Colbert’s wit brings levity and absurdity in equal measure. Those who missed the episode will be all caught up on the latest in edible Easter beasts, space biology, and why your next science fact just might be weaponized with a dad joke.

Transcript

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[C]

Folks, if you watch this show, you know I spend most of my time right over there in the news. True Bang folding the most topical ground story pork mung bean sprouts, chopchae noodles and pibigo firm tofu into delicate Sula Song wonton wrappers and then gently pan frying to make the Korean Kunmandu dumplings that are my Nat Lean monologue. But sometimes, after losing a drinking contest to a Russian circus bear, I wake up in a canal where I squeeze the filling from a discarded taco into a half eaten Pillsbury turnover and chow down on the swamp ravioli of news that is my segment. Meanwhile. You know what? It's tasty and nutritious. People want to think about the nutrition of Meanwhile. Meanwhile, near Hawaii, a dolphin jumped a massive 15ft above the ocean and drew comparisons to Michael Jordan. Wow. Michael Jordan. Michael. How do you feel about being compared to that dolphin? Didn't see that coming. Didn't see that coming. Meanwhile, great news for users of Letterboxd the app for logging movies that you've watched cause a fan has created a viral letterboxed keychain that lets cinephiles show off their favorite movies on the go using photo inserts on the keychain for customizable favorites slots styled after the app's layout. This is a great way to meet a like minded movie fan. Or a fair warning that someone near you is mentally unstable enough to enjoy Tron Aries. Meanwhile, Costco Costco has introduced a 10 pound 140 chocolate Easter bunny. But you'll need a hammer to eat it. The mega bunny is named Pete because when my children bludgeon something to death with a hammer, I first want it to seem as human as possible. The instructions on the packaging suggest customers wrap Pete in a towel and give one bold whack with a hammer, mallet or rolling pin, adding if he pleads, don't be moved. You are a God and he is your prey. Be swift and feel the weakness within you. Melting it will be easier next time. Good. In case you're wondering, 10 pound Pete here consists of 151 servings. If you're a coward in other mastiff Easter treat news, British chocolate maker Cadbury has unveiled a giant 121 pound egg. Okay, sounds good so far, but what do I wrap it in before I bludgeon it to death? Next up, according to a finding in the Journal of Experimental Biology, woodpeckers grunt like tennis players when they peck. And I'm being told that we have new footage demonstrating the phenomenon. We'll be right back.

[D]

More Late Show Pod show after this,

[C]

Folks. If you know me, you know I love science. Without it, what would we do with Bunsen burners? Burn Bunsen and I like to bring you all we shouldn't. That's what I'm saying. We shouldn't do this. I like to bring all the latest science news in my science segment, the Sound of Science. Hello science, my friend. First up, a new study says making babies in space may be more complicated than expected. First of all, the astronauts are going to have to get closer than that. Scientists have found that sperm struggled to navigate through the female reproductive tract in microgravity, making it harder to reach the egg. That's if you can even get it on in zero g one Person's got to be velcroed to the wall. The other one's got to strap on a bungee cord. You know. You know they're up there trying it. Astronauts do love Tang. Now our next. Come on, come on. We're off the air in two months. Now our next science sound.

[D]

Moo.

[C]

Because scientists have reported the first documented case of a tool use in a pet cow. Please be a slap chop. Please be a slap chop. Please. Nope. The cow is named Veronica, and she's taught herself to use a broom to scratch herself without any help. So, yes, she can wield a broom, just not quite well enough to defend herself against Ruth's. Chris, maybe you should have learned to use the nunchucks. Veronica. Next up. Oh, that's right. That's okay. Next up, the website Science News is imploring us to watch the first video of a sperm whale birth, which has been captured on camera in more intimate detail than ever before. You know what? I would love to, but one of the things I gave up for lent is looking at close up shots of whale genitals. But I'll tell you what, come Monday, Free Willy. Next up, Free Willy Tang, Ruth, Chris, making lots of friends here. Next up, scientists just turned light into a remote control for crystals, which really sounds like dialogue in a bad science fiction movie. So they can just get on with the rest of the story. Doctor, how can we stop the aliens if their weapons are powered by quartz? I just did a science and I turned light into a remote control for crystals. Now velcro yourself to the wall, and I'll get the bungee cords. There you go. It's a callback. It's called a callback. Next up, scientists have developed eye drops made from pig semen that can deliver cancer treatment to mice. Which is good news for the mice and I gotta say, great news for the pigs. Next up, chins, the heel of the face. Humans are the only mammal that has them. And researchers say that the human chin has long been fertile ground for arguments between scientists over its purpose. And some are still asking, why do humans uniquely have a chin? I can answer that one. The chin has a very clear evolutionary purpose. It's so you can go, hmm, I wonder what a chin is. For now. What else? What else is down the science hole? Blue crabs have a serious cannibalism problem. Now, not to nitpick, but that implies there's such a thing as a non serious cannibalism problem. Beth, before this relationship goes any further, I should tell you I have a mild cannibalism issue. I hope you still want me to meet your parents. Your dad sounds delicious. Next up, a new study looked at what happens when you make clones of cloned mice and found that after 20 years of continuous cloning from a single donor mouse, recloned mice accumulated large mutations in their DNA and major issues showed up by the 27th generation. In support of the study, scientists published this photo of a 27th generation recloned mouse. Thank you for listening to the Late Show Pod show with Stephen Colbert. Just one more thing. To see more of me, come to The Late Show YouTube channel for more clips and exclusives.

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