Meanwhile | The Sound of Science: Nude Bowling

Summary

The Late Show Pod Show with Stephen Colbert

Episode: Meanwhile | The Sound of Science: Nude Bowling
Date: November 16, 2025
Host: Stephen Colbert

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Episode Overview

This episode of The Late Show Pod Show delivers one of Stephen Colbert’s signature “Meanwhile” segments, a rapid-fire survey of the week’s weirdest news stories, followed by “The Sound of Science,” his playful rundown of the latest scientific discoveries and oddities. The episode blends Colbert’s trademark blend of wit, sarcasm, and affection for the absurd, with standout segments on Apple’s extravagant iPhone accessory, a new nude bowling event in Pittsburgh, and the world’s largest spider web. Listeners also get humorous science news about barbecuing in space, woodpecker hammering, talking plants, and why some humans grow horns.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Meanwhile: News Roundup with a Twist

(01:37 - 07:45)

• Apple’s iPhone Pocket

  • Apple releases an “iPhone Pocket,” a 3D-knitted phone sleeve for $149.95 (short strap) or $229.95 (long strap).
  • Colbert skewers the price:

    “This is a totally groundbreaking new iPhone accessory. Unless you own a sock, then you have one already.” (02:31)

• Odd World Records

  • A man broke the world record by snapping 65 cucumbers in 30 seconds, surpassing the prior record of 50.

  • “Now breaking 50 cucumbers seems pointless. Meanwhile, they've run out of records. They've run out of records.” (03:21)

• Flamingo on the Run

  • A flamingo missing from Cornwall, England has turned up in northern France.

  • “Well, yeah, of course it went missing. It's a flamingo. It doesn't want to live in England.” (03:38)

• Unlikely Animal Encounters

  • Researchers filming bats captured footage of a rat grabbing and carrying off a bat.
  • Colbert riffs:

    “I love unlikely animal friendship videos. They're probably back at the rat's apartment snuggling now.” (04:05)

• Wendy’s Closing 300 Stores

  • Sad fast food news: Wendy’s to close 300 stores in late 2025.

  • “I guess everything ends eventually. Which coincidentally, was also the original slogan for the Baconator.” (04:23)

• World’s Largest Spider Web (in Albania)

  • Discovered to house 110,000 spiders—pranks and researcher reactions included.

  • “I'm not happy that he's in Albania. That feels too close to New York while he's poking that thing.” (05:06)

• Pittsburgh’s ‘Balls Out’ Nude Bowling

  • A nude bowling event returns, with nudity as a condition of entry. Body positivity, not sexuality, is the point.

  • “That little blower is perfect height for drying more than your hands... The event is open to all adults interested in body positive, non-sexual, social nudity. Non-sexual. So remember, fight the urge.” (05:23)

    • Guests must bring a towel to sit on for hygiene:

      “Interesting place to draw the line. Please sit on a towel to keep our bowling alley hygienic. Now, here are your rental shoes. We bought them during the Johnson administration. They carry 10 of 12 known flesh-eating bacteria.” (05:53)

• Starbucks’ Viral Bear Cup Chaos

  • The 2025 holiday menu features a honey-bear shaped glass, resulting in fanatical customer competition.

  • “The new viral bear cup is causing mayhem with customers saying things like, ‘I will fight you for it. I will fight you for it.’” (06:21)

• Queen Elizabeth II’s Largest-Ever Fashion Exhibit

  • Buckingham Palace set to stage the biggest display of the Queen’s fashion.

  • “Who can forget the Queen's iconic Bob Mackie Oscar look?” (06:43)

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2. The Sound of Science

(06:54 - 12:54)

• Space Barbecue on China’s Space Station

  • Astronauts enjoyed the first barbecue in space via a “microgravity microwave” (basically an air fryer).

  • “There was barbecue in space and America didn't invent it. I demand that NASA strike back by deploying the first deep space deep fat fryer. Not easy to say.” (08:08)

  • Astronauts still face less-glamorous realities:

    “So you got the air fryer going, but we still got the Hoover?” (08:36)

• Woodpecker Hammering is a Full-Body Workout

  • Recent research finds woodpeckers use their entire bodies to hammer.

  • “Also, I can reveal that Googling full body woodpecker hammering gets you a real quick call from HR.” (09:04)

• Beaver Moon

  • November’s full moon, known as the Beaver Moon, lights up the sky.

  • “By the way, Googling beaver moon gets you a second, far more intense call From HR.” (09:19)

• Record Black Hole Flare

  • The biggest flare ever recorded from a black hole: equivalent to 10 trillion suns.

  • “Now, to put that in layman's terms, 10 trillion suns is almost as bright as the veneers on a Real Housewife now.” (09:37)

• Plants’ Secret Language

  • Scientists have started to decipher plant communication, releasing an audio recording:

    “The scientists have released this first ever recording of a plant talking. Psst. On vacation and we're both gonna die.” (10:38)

• Humans Growing Horns

  • Some humans develop horns due to keratin masses or, jokingly, “a blood pact to serve the wolf-faced dark lord Mammon.”

  • “Or the lesion thing.” (11:01)

• Weightlifting vs Cardio

  • Studies show weightlifting is better than cardio for blood sugar control.

  • “Then I guess I better start not doing that instead.” (11:18)

• Dinosaur Sex Differences

  • New research: Dino fossils with “mating injuries” may reveal sex.

  • “Turns out if the bones have mating injuries, the sex was pretty good.” (11:31)

  • Gender differentiation joke:

    “The males look like this and the females look like this. And they wave a handkerchief and go, ‘yoo hoo.’” (11:47)

• Pets & Greenhouse Gases

  • Human-grade pet food increases pet contributions to greenhouse gases.

  • “By the way, animal parts that would otherwise have gone unused. Still the official slogan of Lunchables.” (12:29)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Apple’s iPhone Pocket:

  “Unless you own a sock, then you have one already.” (02:31)

• On Nude Bowling:

  “That little blower is perfect height for drying more than your hands.” (05:23)
  “Please sit on a towel to keep our bowling alley hygienic.” (05:53)

• On Animal Oddities:

  “I love unlikely animal friendship videos. They're probably back at the rat's apartment snuggling now.” (04:05)

• On Science News:

  “There was barbecue in space and America didn't invent it. I demand that NASA strike back by deploying the first deep space deep fat fryer.” (08:08)
  “Googling full body woodpecker hammering gets you a real quick call from HR.” (09:04)
  “Now, to put that in layman's terms, 10 trillion suns is almost as bright as the veneers on a Real Housewife now.” (09:37)
  “Or the lesion thing.” (11:01)
  “By the way, animal parts that would otherwise have gone unused. Still the official slogan of Lunchables.” (12:29)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Start of “Meanwhile” Segment: 01:37
• Apple iPhone Pocket: 02:27
• Breaking Cucumbers Record: 03:19
• Missing Flamingo: 03:38
• Bat and Rat Encounter: 04:05
• Wendy's Closures: 04:23
• World's Largest Spider Web: 05:06
• Nude Bowling Event: 05:23
• Starbucks Bear Cup: 06:21
• Queen’s Fashion Retrospective: 06:43
• Start of “The Sound of Science”: 06:54
• Space Barbecue: 07:49
• Woodpecker Hammering: 09:04
• Beaver Moon: 09:19
• Black Hole Flare: 09:37
• Plants Talking: 10:38
• Humans Growing Horns: 11:01
• Weightlifting vs Cardio: 11:18
• Dinosaur Mating Injuries: 11:31
• Pets and Greenhouse Gases: 12:29

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Tone & Style

Colbert’s delivery throughout is satirical, sharp, and openly irreverent, peppered with self-aware asides and running gags about HR calls, hygiene standards, and the absurdity of modern trends. His affection for science is filtered through a comedic lens, making the news both accessible and hilarious.

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In Summary

This episode is a whirlwind of current oddities and scientific tidbits, all viewed through Colbert’s distinctive comic prism. From the highs of interstellar cookouts to the lows of nude bowling hygiene, listeners are left informed—and highly amused—by humanity’s ongoing quest for meaning and mayhem.

Transcript

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It's spicy, it's zesty.

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[Stephen Colbert]

Folks, if you watch the show, you know I spend most of my time down at the news firm over there designing a topical story structure of glass fiber reinforced polymer encasing a monocoque structure of milled polyethylene terra phthalate foam, an undulating panelized system with a front door cast in white bronze to build for you the groundbreaking yet functional Diller Scofidio and Renfro Mansion that is my monologue. But sometimes, folks, just sometimes, I chase a family of raccoons out of a disused porta Potty and chuck in a seat cushion torn out of Motorhead's abandoned tour bus, then hunker down in the bog yurt of news that is my segment. Meanwhile. Soothing. It's comforting.

[Commercial Narrator]

Meanwhile.

[Stephen Colbert]

Meanwhile, Apple is introducing something called the iPhone Pocket, which features a singular 3D knitted construction designed to fit any iPhone. This is a totally groundbreaking new iPhone accessory. Unless you own a sock, then you have one already. But for something so revolutionary, you're going to have to pony up, because the iPhone pocket in the short strap retails for $149.95, and the long strap design is $229.95. Perfect for anyone saying, I wish there was a stocking stuffer. That would start a huge fight with my spouse. Meanwhile, it was just reported that a man snapped 65 cucumbers in 30 seconds to break the world record, obliterating the previous record of 50.

[Commercial Narrator]

Man.

[Stephen Colbert]

Now breaking 50 cucumbers seems pointless. Meanwhile, they've run out of records. They've run out of records. Meanwhile, a flamingo that went missing from a wildlife sanctuary in Cornwall, England, over a week ago appears to now be living in northern France. Well, yeah, of course it went missing. It's a flamingo. It doesn't want to live in England. I don't understand. These penguins seem to really hate Dubai. Meanwhile, in Animal News, researchers who were filming bats to learn how they communicate caught this footage of a rat just hanging out near some bats and pow, he grabs one and he carries it off. I love unlikely animal friendship videos. They're probably back at the rat's apartment snuggling now. Meanwhile, some sad fast food Wendy's will close roughly 300 stores starting in late 2025. Well, I guess everything ends eventually. Which coincidentally, was also the original slogan for the Baconator. Meanwhile, makes you feel better about eating. Meanwhile, in Albania, the world's largest spider web, housing 110,000 spiders, has been found, shocking researchers. Even more shocking to the researchers was that Gary was like, hey, guys, there's like 110,000 spiders in here. I'm gonna poke it. Everybody open your eyes and your mouths and poke at the spiders. I'm not happy that he's in Albania. That feels too close to New York while he's poking that thing. All right. Meanwhile, Pittsburgh is seeing the return of Balls out bowling, where nudity is required. That little blower is perfect height for drying more than your hands. Couldn't quite get that joke out. Couldn't quite get that joke out. Enjoyed it a little bit too much. The event is open to all adults interested in body positive non sexual social nudity. Non sexual. So remember, fight the urge. Meanwhile, 7, 10, split. While nudity is mandatory at the event, guests must bring a towel to sit on. Interesting place. Interesting place to draw the line. Uh, please sit on a towel to keep our bowling alley hygienic. Now, here are your rental shoes. We bought them during the Johnson administration. They carry 10 of 12 known flesh eating bacteria. Meanwhile, Starbucks announced its 2025 holiday menu and includes a glass cup for cold drinks resembling a honey bear container. The new viral bear cup is causing mayhem with customers saying things like, I will fight you for it. I will fight you for it. Incident. Also the code for any Starbucks bathroom. Meanwhile, next year, Buckingham palace will stage the largest ever display of Queen Elizabeth II's fashion. Oh, and I cannot wait. Who can forget the Queen's iconic Bob Mackie Oscar look? Folks, if you watch the show, you know I love science. Without science, we'd never have whatever pumpkin spice is. Cause it ain't pumpkin. I'd like to tell you about all the latest science news in my science segment, the Sound of Science. Hello, science, my old friend. First up.

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What'S going on?

[Stephen Colbert]

First up, space. An eternal reminder that we are so small and the universe is so big and all of our actions are so insignificant. And yet everyone still remembers that time in third grade when you called your math teacher mom. Good news for space dwellers because recently astronauts enjoyed the first ever space barbecue. Which means the astronauts also enjoyed the first ever space neighbor hovering over their shoulder going, oh, you're going to take them off the grill now? You don't want to let them caramelize. No, no, you're the grill master. I'm just a guest. I'm just a guest here. So no sauce. This happened aboard China's Tiangong Space Station. What the hell? There was barbecue in space and America didn't invent it. I demand that NASA strike back by deploying the first deep space deep fat fryer. Not easy to say. The oven was sent from China's space agency to the station. It's known as a micro gravity microwave and actually functions more like an air fryer. And while I'm sure they were excited, I bet at least one of these astronauts was like, oh, they invented a space air fryer. That's cool. Quick question. We still got a poop in a tube? Yeah, no problem. Just checking. So you got the air fryer going, but we still got the Hoover. You got the next up on the south side. Bird experts have revealed that woodpecker hammering is a full body affair. Also, I can reveal that Googling full body woodpecker hammering gets you a real quick call from hr. Next up, I hope you all looked up in the night sky last week to see November's full moon, also known as a beaver moon, shine across the U.S. by the way, Googling beaver moon gets you a second for far more intense call From HR Next up, scientists say that the largest observed flare from a black hole unleashed the light of 10 trillion suns. Now, to put that in layman's terms, 10 trillion suns is almost as bright as the veneers on a Real Housewife now. Hey, next up, it's recently been discovered that plants have a secret language that scientists are only now starting to decipher. The scientists have released this first ever recording of a plant talking. Psst.

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Just so you know, she's gonna go.

[Stephen Colbert]

On vacation and we're both gonna die. Yeah, that happens.

[Greenlight/Experian Advertiser]

That happens.

[Stephen Colbert]

That does happen. Next up, new research is explaining the reasons why some humans grow horns. And it's because of compacted keratin masses that develop from skin lesions or because that person has formed a blood pact to serve the wolf faced dark lord Mammon, eater of light, suckler of the unrighteous, and birth mother of homunculi. Or the lesion thing. Next up, surprising new study shows that weightlifting beats cardio for blood sugar control. Then I guess I better start not doing that instead. Next up. That I bet. Next up, paleontologists have long struggled to tell whether dinosaur fossils are male or female, but now say mating injuries may help them identify the sex. Turns out if the bones have mating injuries, the sex was pretty good. Now, paleontologists have long sought a way reliably to differentiate between male and female dinosaurs based on their fossils. Well, that's easy. The males look like this and the females look like this. And they wave a handkerchief and go, yoo hoo. There's some more science from the science people. According to the new science research, pets contribute to greenhouse gases just like us. Because it's become so popular to feed pets human grade meat as opposed to animal parts that would otherwise have gone unused. By the way, animal parts that would otherwise have gone unused. Still the official slogan of lunchables. Thank you for listening to the late show pod show with Stephen Colbert. Just one more thing. If you want to see more of me, come to The Late Show YouTube YouTube channel for more clips and exclusives.

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