← The Late Show Pod Show with Stephen Colbert
The Late Show Pod Show with Stephen Colbert
Meanwhile | World's Oldest Baby, Breast Milk Ice Cream
00:13:49
Loading summary
Transcript9 lines
- [00:02]
A
Hey, I'm Brett Podolsky, co founder of the Farmer's Dog. We make fresh food for dogs. We started the company when we saw what a huge difference it made in my own dog Jada when she stopped eating ultra processed kibble and started eating fresh whole food. The Farmer's Dog food isn't fancy, it's just real food delivered to your door in pre portioned packs. It's better for them and easier for you.
- [00:24]
B
Get 50% off your first box at the farmersdog.com trial50 that's thefarmersdog.com trial50 Summer's winding down and whether your kids are just soaking up the last few weeks or already asking when school starts, this is the perfect time to ease back into learning. If you're looking for a way to help your child catch up, stay sharp or get a head start this school year without the stress, IXL is the answer. IXL is an award winning online learning platform that helps kids truly understand what they're learning, whether they're brushing up on math or diving into social studies. It covers math, language arts, science and social studies from Pre K through 12th grade, with content that's engaging, personalized and, yes, actually fun. It's the perfect tool to keep learning going without making it feel like school. Studies show kids who use IXL score higher on tests. This has been proven in almost every state. Make an impact on your child's learning. Get IXL now and listeners of this podcast can get an exclusive 20% off IXL membership when they sign up today at ixlearning.com audience visit ixllearning.comaudio to get the most effective learning program out there at the best price. It's the Late Show Poncho with Stephen Colbert.
- [01:47]
A
Folks, if you watch the show, you know I spend most of my time right over there in the news Cocina, gently sauteing the most topical story onions and peppers before adding calaspara rice, shrimp, homemade fish stock and just a kiss of to serve you the hearty and flavorful Spanish arroz caldoso. That is my monologue. But sometimes, folks, after a raccoon that I've angered shoves me into a ravine, I scrape what's left out of an airplane packet of Cheez its into a discarded tuna can with some go go squeeze and boil it over a Bic lighter to make the hobo paella of news. That is my segment. Meanwhile, you know what? It's a message of hope. Meanwhile, it's a message of hope. Meanwhile, last week, the world's oldest baby was born from a human embryo that was frozen in the 1990s. Which is why when the baby came out, it said, wah la la la. Babies. Babies are funny. Meanwhile, if you love sports and love movies, please pick a lane. But also if you'll, you'd be excited to hear that. Bend it Like Beckham. A sequel is finally in the works, more than 20 years after the original. That's exciting. Okay, but if Hollywood is looking for sequels to 20 year old movies, I think fans would love to see a follow up of 2005 Bewitched. That specifically of TV sitcom writer Stu Robison. Where, where, where is Stu now? What is he up to? Did he ever finish that carton of takeout from Panda Express? I am free to start shooting in June. Will Ferrell, Nicole Kidman. I'll see you then. Meanwhile, in ways the Internet is trying to make you feel even worse about yourself. Now YouTube will start guessing your age based on the types of videos the user searches for and the categories of videos they watch. For example, I watch restorations of World War I cigarette lighters and videos about knee pain. And that's why YouTube correctly guessed my age of 245. Meanwhile, in a partnership with the TV show Wednesday, Fast food chain Wendy's is launching a limited edition bloody Frosty. Quick follow up question. Has anyone seen Wendy? We need eyes on Wendy right now. Meanwhile, the FDA has issued a recall after some cans of the highly caffeinated energy drink Celsius were found to mistakenly contain vodka. Why are you celebrating? All these poor people got vodka instead of their safe carbonated crack because the actual Celsius contains so much stimulant that the product's own website recommends that no more than two 12 ounce cans per day. This on top of the Surgeon General's warning that said, if consumed while pregnant, the baby will Kool Aid man its way out of your belly. Oh yeah. The mislabeled seltzers were sent to Michigan, Ohio, South Carolina, Wisconsin and Florida. They have been recalled in four states, while in Florida they have been distributed to schools. Schools never gets old. Meanwhile, the latest trend in Hollywood, physical enhancement has foes talking about the rise of the $200,000 penis, which, albeit controversial, actually thought was a pretty good sequel. This latest trend is penis enlargement accompanied by injecting one's reproductive organ with hyaluronic acid filler and polymethyl methacrylate. Sounds painful. Obviously, some people are very insecure. I wish I could relate, but my doctor says mine is already too big. That's that is a burden, Jordan. That's not a brag. Please, I'm not bragging. That's a medical diagnosis. It's why I get to park closer to the grocery store. I get to put that thing over, you know, the thing over the rear view mirror. So they. Meanwhile, Evie, can't wait for me to not do this show anymore. Meanwhile, many are asking, are there aliens in Compton? After a woman's ring camera captured a strange creature outside her home. Let's take a look. Pay attention to the lower right corner. Right there. Look at there. Look how creepy that is. Look at that. What the hell is that? Okay, some local news, okay. Had interesting theories as to what the creature could be. Some people think it's a child, a mariachi, or even a large cockatoo. A mariachi? Wow. Wow. Really? A mariachi? Clearly, we haven't moved past the pernicious stereotype of extraterrestrials that we saw in Close Encounters of the Third Kind. We'll be right back.
- [08:17]
B
More meanwhile after this.
- [08:28]
A
Folks, if you watch the show, you know I spend a lot of my time right over there in the news factory assembling the most topical fusion plex story suspension with a tubular aluminum perimeter frame, anti barreling cross day and lightweight frame sheet with a compressible crampon pocket to create the solid and dependable Gregory Alpinisto 50 mountaineering backpack. That is not monologue. But sometimes. Sometimes, folks, after losing a fight at a possum fight club in a hobo camp, I steal a dirty tent and cinch it with a broken bootlace, then drag away my belongings in the grimy bog bindle of news that is my segment. Meanwhile, I try. You know what? I could do this all night, baby. I could do this all night. I love it. I love that graphic. I could show that all night. Meanwhile, WNBA fans were delighted this week at a game between the Las Vegas Aces and the Minnesota Lynx, where a baby crawl race was held at halftime in which this little winner named Ada took her very first steps. Take a look. Yeah, man, that's it. Way to literally step up to the moment. Even more impressive, in the third quarter, the baby tomahawk dunked on Asia Wilson. Meanwhile, your dog should probably leave the room now because I'm about to tell you that a Danish zoo has asked the public to donate unwanted small pets or horses to feed captive predators. Damn that. You could really raise the stakes of the pet owner relationship by lining your gerbil cage with that article. Oh, you better keep runner on that wheel for my amusement. Mr. Squiggins, I'd hate for you to become unwanted. Now, if you're interested, be aware that the zoo accepts donated rabbits, guinea pigs and chickens on weekdays between 10am and 1pm but no more than four at a time. Okay, I'm going to say that the authorities must make public the guy who necessitated the no more than four at a time rule with a small animal sacrifice bin because he is definitely a serial killer. Say ho. What time do you guys open Tomor? Not till 10. I'll be back with way more small animals. I don't want them. They laugh at me when I'm showering. Meanwhile, breast milk flavored ice cream is now available nationwide. Good is what I think this is because I'm totally natural and open minded and that's the number one human secretion that I'm cool with. According to the company involved, the ice cream is with hints of honey and sprinkles of colostrum and features a distinct colostrum yellow tinge. I'm afraid you will not win me over no matter how many times you use the word colostrum. Hey Bill, how are sales? Well, they could be better. Maybe we didn't say colostrum enough, did we? Tell the people how much colostrum it has. Meanwhile, according to some new research, letting your mind wander can reset your brain. Nope, no reset. Still thinking about breast milk ice cream. Anyway, meanwhile, in totally normal, very, very chill news, the Grand Canyon and Utah wildfires are creating fire clouds that can form their own weather systems. That is going to make the evening forecast a little weird. Well, Sandra, Thursday looks great, but come Friday, the fire clouds roll in and you're going to want to repent as a cleansing inferno rains from the heavens and ushers in the end times. Now over to trickster demon Asmodeus with sports. Indiana Pacers baby took its first steps. Meanwhile, birds, the pigeons of the sky. There's an update for the ornithologists out there in the crowd. Researchers have found that songbirds sometimes get divorced after noticing that in the spring, the little birds coupled up to make babies. But as summer turned into fall, some couples seemed to start drifting apart. The song birds studied in the research was the great title also the cause of many human divorces. Thank you for listening to the Late Show Pod show with Stephen Colbert. Just one more thing. If you want to see more of me, come to The Late Show YouTube channel for more clips and exclusives.
- [13:57]
B
Support for this podcast and the following message.
- [13:59]
A
Comes from America's Navy the Navy offers.
- [14:03]
B
New graduates hands on training and experience in careers like computer science, aviation and medicine, plus education and sign on bonuses. Parents help your grads start their career today.
- [14:15]
A
@Navy.Com you say you'll never join the Navy, never climb Mount Fuji on a port visit or break the sound barrier. Joining the Navy sounds crazy. Saying never actually is. Learn why@navy.com America's Navy forged by the sea.