Stephen Colbert (2:23)

I think they're used to the red carpet or something.

Patton Oswalt (2:24)

Oh, I was trying to like, absorb energy. I was doing like a weird, like,

Stephen Colbert (2:36)

You're Superman and they're the yellow son.

Patton Oswalt (2:38)

Yes, exactly. You are my yellow son. Thank you so much.

Stephen Colbert (2:43)

You were here not that long ago.

Patton Oswalt (2:44)

Yeah.

Stephen Colbert (2:45)

I always love talking to you. Glad we can talk again.

Patton Oswalt (2:47)

Yeah, man. What's new?

Stephen Colbert (2:47)

What's going on?

Patton Oswalt (2:48)

Oh, I'm, you know, I'm keeping busy. I. I'm in the Epstein Files. For real? For. Yes. That was not a joke. I'm in the Epstein Files. Listen, so apparently there is a get

Stephen Colbert (3:01)

in front of it, man.

Patton Oswalt (3:01)

Yeah, I'm getting ready. That's why. And seriously, thanks for having me on last minute like this. There's a website with a search bar and I guess people are typing in people's names.

Stephen Colbert (3:14)

It's called the Department of Justice.

Patton Oswalt (3:15)

The Department of. Yes, that one. It's funny. I think it's a GeoCities site. Yes. And no one from the 90s. All right, so you can type people's names in. So my daughter and her friends were sitting there typing people's names in and then they went, hey, put your dad's name in. And she typed my name in and my name came up and yeah, Cats in the Cradle in the S. So. But I'm in the Epson files for an awesome reason. Okay. There is an email from Jeffrey, I call him Jeffrey, and he's arranging a film screening for, I guess a bunch of his creepazoid friends. And so he's arranging a screening of a movie that I'm in. I'm like the fourth name in the credits. So he puts the poster of the movie and then he lists the cast people and goes, we're going to this screening tonight. And here's what's awesome. The movie that he's arranging the screening for is a movie I did called Young Adult. So clearly he was like, oh boy, oh boy, oh boy. And he goes, here's what's awesome though. In the movie there's a nude scene and it's me.

Amazon Advertiser (4:34)

So.

Patton Oswalt (4:36)

Yeah, But I just love the fact that it's my 45 year old pasty ass right in front of Jeffrey Epstein and his pals. And I just imagine as they realize that that's the movie, like the Curb youb Enthusiasm music starts playing and they all just start hitting Jeffrey with their bam, bam, bam. And my daughter was telling me that she was laughing. She's like, that's why your name is in there. Because he arranged a screening of your movie. And I went, wow. So I gave him the worst night of his life. And she said, but. And then my daughter said, well, second worst.

Stephen Colbert (5:17)

Well, yeah, you're moving on. You're so. You know, there's your daughter, your daughter. In the clip we just saw, you got a little upset when your daughter called you dude.

Patton Oswalt (5:27)

She called me dude, dude.

Stephen Colbert (5:29)

But doesn't that kind of mean that she thinks you're cool? Isn't that a good sign?

Patton Oswalt (5:32)

I. Yes, but like, I still want the. Your kids never will fully think that you're cool. By the way. I remember we were at the Grammys together when you beat me. And you were there with your daughter.

Stephen Colbert (5:49)

2009.

Patton Oswalt (5:49)

2009. And you went on stage, you had your Grammy. And there's footage of this. And you're like, my daughter when she was 14. And you're like, yeah. And you're like, hey, is daddy cool now? And they cut to her and she's like, it could. Yeah. Like, there's this sense of like. I mean, you're. You're a dork with a Grammy now, but you're still a dork.

Stephen Colbert (6:10)

Still a dork. That's true.

Patton Oswalt (6:11)

So, yeah, there is that. I guess she think, but I still want that. Like, I want her to go, hey, dad, let's go to Run Out Groove Records, there's a new Lucy Dacus. Not, hey, dude, let's go to Run Out Groove Records, there's a new Lucy Dacus. I want to pick up. Like, I still want the dad thing.

Stephen Colbert (6:26)

You still want the status?

Patton Oswalt (6:27)

Yeah, yeah.

Stephen Colbert (6:28)

So, dude, last time you were here, we talked about showing your daughter John Carpenter's Halloween the classic and that. She said it was the funniest movie she'd ever seen.

Patton Oswalt (6:36)

Funniest movie. She was laughing through the whole thing.

Stephen Colbert (6:38)

Okay. But I understand you have a crazy connection, which I'm kind of jealous of. Of another John Carpenter masterpiece. The Thing.

Patton Oswalt (6:45)

Truly a masterpiece. Truly is a masterpiece. Yes. The dog.

Stephen Colbert (6:48)

One person agrees.

Patton Oswalt (6:50)

Yeah, that is a masterpiece. And the dog in that movie, who's the dog that becomes. Oh, show the dog this dog. There he is, baby.

Stephen Colbert (6:58)

That's the dog.

Patton Oswalt (6:59)

That's the thing.

Stephen Colbert (7:00)

Spoiler. That dog's bad news.

Patton Oswalt (7:01)

He's bad news. He is played by an animal actor named Jed the wolf who. And when I say animal actor, he is doing like early 70s Gene Hackman in the Conversation. Acting.

Stephen Colbert (7:14)

He's good.

Patton Oswalt (7:14)

He's really good.

Stephen Colbert (7:15)

Like, the acting in that one goes like Kurt Russell, Richard Dysart, and then Jed. And then Jed.

Patton Oswalt (7:21)

Yeah. His next movie was the Journey of Natty Gann, which he was in with my wife, Meredith Salinger. They were co stars. Yeah, I know.

Stephen Colbert (7:31)

So you kind of know Jed.

Patton Oswalt (7:33)

I. I know someone who hung out with Jed, if that makes sense. And Jed was so cool. And this is true. When he passed away, John Carpenter took out full page ads in Variety and the Hollywood Reporter memorializing him. He was like one of the best actors I ever worked with. Incredible. Jed the dog. And my wife Meredith was like, oh, yeah, he was the coolest. Like, we would hang out in between shots. Cause they wanted us to bond and it was her first, like, starring movie. And she's like, the dog like, put me at ease. Cause the dog was like, I've done this kid. Like, I was in. I dealt with Kurt Russell. I'm okay.

Stephen Colbert (8:07)

This is how great Jed the dog is, is that. Everybody loves dogs. Dogs are man's best friend. They're just furry love.

Patton Oswalt (8:16)

Yes.

Stephen Colbert (8:16)

And you look at this dog and immediately go, I do not trust that dog.

Patton Oswalt (8:21)

That's how good his performance is. You do not trust him in the thing. Yeah, yeah. But in the journey of night, again, he is protecting Meredith. Sound.

Stephen Colbert (8:30)

That's range.

Patton Oswalt (8:30)

That's range.

Stephen Colbert (8:31)

That's range.

Patton Oswalt (8:32)

Yeah.

Stephen Colbert (8:32)

Well, Patton, it's always great to talk to you.

Patton Oswalt (8:34)

It's always great to talk to you.

Stephen Colbert (8:35)

Thanks so much for being here.

Patton Oswalt (8:36)

Thank you.

Stephen Colbert (8:39)

Thank you for listening to the Late Show POD show with Stephen Colbert. Just one more thing. If you want to see more of me, come to The Late Show YouTube channel for more clips and exclusives.

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