Paul McCartney | Hello, Goodbye!

Summary

The Late Show Pod Show with Stephen Colbert

Episode: Paul McCartney | Hello, Goodbye!
Date: May 22, 2026

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Episode Overview

This very special episode marks the series finale of The Late Show with Stephen Colbert, closing out 11 years at the Ed Sullivan Theater. Stephen Colbert delivers a heartfelt farewell steeped in humor, nostalgia, and gratitude, capped by a warm, meandering interview with music legend Paul McCartney—a definitive “perfect last guest.” Along the way, the show celebrates its history, parodies late-night tropes, and gently roasts itself and its host in classic Colbert style.

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Main Themes and Purpose

• Farewell Episode: Saying goodbye to The Late Show after over a decade, with Colbert reflecting on its impact, history, and the family-like bond among cast and crew.
• Comedy and Nostalgia: Joking through sadness, with Colbert’s signature monologue, surprise celebrity cameos, and layered satirical bits.
• Paul McCartney Interview: A light-hearted and intimate conversation about the Beatles’ American debut, McCartney’s new music, change, and enduring memories.
• Celebration of Community: Deep appreciation for the show's audience and the emotional reciprocity that powered it.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Stephen Colbert’s Farewell Monologue

[01:24–04:04]

• Colbert opens by addressing both his live audience and those at home.
• Expresses immense gratitude to his staff and viewers, describing the show as “the Joy Machine.”
  • Quote: “We call it the Joy Machine because to do this many shows, it has to be a machine. But the thing is, if you choose to do it with joy, it doesn't hurt as much when your fingers get caught in the gears.” (02:04, Stephen Colbert)
• Recalls the original aim of his comedy: “Anyone can read the news to you. I promise to feel the news at you.”
• The focus: feeling the news together, not just reporting or satirizing it.

2. Self-Deprecating Humor and Celebrity Cameos

[04:15–11:53]

• Colbert walks through the history of the Ed Sullivan Theater—its lore, the Beatles’ debut, and Elvis’s bathroom visit.
• Plays “first drafts” greeting card bit: “This isn’t goodbye. How do you start an OnlyFans?” (06:12)
• Several celebrities interrupt as “surprise guests” hoping for a final cameo:
  • Bryan Cranston (07:05): “But, hey, I'm here. Maybe I could be your last guest.” (07:48)
  • Paul Rudd attempts to present “the traditional six bananas” as a retirement gift, but eats one himself.
  • Tim Meadows joins, only to be dismissed.
• Comic riffing on cancellation, running jokes on New York sinkholes, and inappropriate jokes about hantavirus and the current state of affairs.

3. News Parody & “Meanwhile” Segment

[14:37–23:06]

• Relieves tension with absurdist news:
  • Home distilling legalized—“same first step as beer: get divorced.”
  • World’s largest Dr. Pepper bottle in Waco, Texas: “Please say we're famous for the soda.”
  • Peanuts/Charlie Brown music lawsuits, fake priest calendars, thrifted pharma merch.
• Interruptions by Tig Notaro and Ryan Reynolds poking fun at the parade of farewells:
  • Tig Notaro: “I have a very full life, Stephen.” (21:20)
  • Ryan Reynolds (re: ‘greatest entertainer’): “I was talking about your keyboardist, Corey Bernhardt.” (22:57)

4. Paul McCartney Interview

[25:13–40:27]

Arrival and Setup

• McCartney enters after a failed Pope appearance, pretending he just “happened to be in the area.”
• Brings Colbert a mysterious package “from the Pope,” revealed to be cheekily dedicated: “To Stephen. You're better than the Beatles. No, Paul McCartney.” (26:39–26:53)

Memories of Ed Sullivan and The Beatles’ American Debut

• On hearing the girls screaming and US debut:
  • McCartney: “Yeah, I always remember the girls on the balcony.” (27:21)
  • Remembers bright orange makeup applied in the theater’s basement. (29:00)
  • Stephen: “That’s very popular in certain circles these days. Yeah, you set a trend.” (29:13)
• On initial awareness: “We'd never heard of [Ed Sullivan]... in England.” (29:00)
• On the reaction: “Looking back on it now, what I'm pleased with is—we're live and we sound good, man.” (29:42)

Early American Impressions

• McCartney: “America is where all the music we loved came from. All the rock and roll, the blues and the whole thing, even going back to Fred Astaire. So that's what we thought—America was just the land of the free, the greatest democracy.” (30:21)

On McCartney's New Album: "The Boys of Dungeon Lane"

[32:02–34:32]

• Dungeon Lane: A “road that led down to the shore” near his childhood home, a place for escape.
• First mugging: “A couple of big strapping guys decided to mug me... They wanted my watch. Did they get it? Yeah.” But he got it back after police intervention. (33:45–34:04)
• Meeting George Harrison: “George would know [Dungeon Lane]. He was from that area.” (34:32)

Reflections on Change and Ritual

[34:44–36:22]

• Lyric quote: “Nothing stays the same, no one needs to cry. I've been thinking about change lately. Are you good with change?” (34:44)
• McCartney: “No. I'm not. I like things to just stay the same. Because I've learned how to do them, and then somebody changes it—you're like the iPhone. I know how to do it. Update. I don't want to update.” (35:01)
• On post-show rituals: “We normally sort of get on a bus and do what we call a runner. And I have a cheese and pickle sandwich... accompanied with a margarita.” (36:27–36:48)

Earliest Musical Influences

• McCartney: “My dad used to play piano in the house, so I would sort of lie around on the carpet listening to him. So probably the earliest [song] would be ‘Chicago.’” (36:54–37:10)
• Also ‘Beautiful Dreamer’—“That could be a contender.” (37:20–37:25)

Song Misinterpretations and Legacy

• McCartney: “People misinterpret your songs? Yes. I kind of like it though, because... you know when they get it wrong.” (37:32)
• Example: “Strawberry Fields, the beginning, it says ‘living is easy with eyes closed.’ But some people think it’s ‘living is easy with nice clothes.’” (37:40–37:55)

On Upcoming Beatles Biopics

• Movie director Sam Mendes is doing four Beatles films, each from a band member’s view. Paul Mescal will play Paul.
  • Colbert: “Who’s cuter, young Paul McCartney or Paul Mescal?”
  • McCartney (deadpan): “Me.” (38:38)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Colbert on the show's end:

  • “Have a good show. Thanks for being here, and let’s do it, y’all. All.” (03:05)
  • “Tonight is our final broadcast... [but] the best way to celebrate what we’ve done... is just do a regular episode.” (05:18)

• On rituals:

  • Colbert: “Do you have any rituals for when you're done with the show?”
  • McCartney: “Cheese and pickle sandwich... accompanied with a margarita.” (36:27–36:48)

• On change:

  • McCartney: “No. I like things to just stay the same. Because I’ve learned how to do them, and then somebody changes it—you’re like the iPhone. I know how to do it. Update. I don’t want to update.” (35:01)

• On misheard lyrics:

  • McCartney: “Strawberry Fields, the beginning, it says ‘living is easy with eyes closed.’ But some people think it’s ‘living is easy with nice clothes.’ It’s better.” (37:53)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• 01:24–04:04: Colbert delivers heartfelt opening monologue, sets the emotional tone.
• 04:43–07:05: Late Show/Ed Sullivan Theater history, jokes, and first-draft bit.
• 07:05–09:30: Celebrity cameos (Bryan Cranston, Paul Rudd, Tim Meadows), parade of “surprise guests.”
• 11:53–12:34: Paul Rudd’s banana gag and Tim Meadows interruption.
• 14:37–23:06: “Meanwhile” spoof news and additional celebrity interruptions (Tig Notaro, Ryan Reynolds).
• 25:13–27:00: Paul McCartney finally introduced as the last guest.
• 27:05–34:44: Colbert and McCartney discuss the Beatles’ historic US arrival and childhood memories.
• 34:44–36:27: On change, song lyrics, and rituals.
• 36:54–37:32: Earliest musical influences.
• 37:32–38:38: Song misinterpretations and Beatles biopic.
• 38:38–40:27: Technical difficulties; abrupt, self-deprecating farewell.

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Summary & Tone

This series finale weaves together irreplaceable Colbert humor, honest emotion, industry satire, and warm reminiscence. Colbert and McCartney’s rapport is easy and friendly, mixing genuine moments (“I like things to just stay the same”) and winking banter (“Who’s cuter—me or Paul Mescal? Me”). The episode gently closes a chapter on late-night television with gratitude, joy, and a deep sense of community among all who’ve been part of The Late Show’s legacy.

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For Full Experience

To catch additional stories, songs, and the show’s signature celebratory chaos, visit the online extended broadcast as referenced by Colbert [38:40].

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Transcript

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[Stephen Colbert]

Folks, we have done over 1800 of these shows and most nights I come out here and I talk to the audience beforehand. And tonight I thought I'd talk to the audience in here and the audience out there at home. This show, I want you to know and you to know, has been a joy for us to do for you. In fact, we call this show the Joy Machine. All right. Louis stole it from us and we are currently in litigation right now. You better lawyer up, buddy. We call it the Joy Machine because to do this many shows, it has to be a machine. But the thing is, if you choose to do it with joy, it doesn't hurt as much when your fingers get caught in the gears. And I cannot adequately explain to you what the people who work here have done for each other and how much we mean to each other. So I will just say. I will just say to them, I would just say to them, you are all the great Achilles whom we knew. Now on Night one of the Colbert Report back in the day, I said, anyone can read the news to you. I promise to feel the news at you. And I realized pretty soon in this job that. Our job over here was different. We were here to feel the news with you. And I don't know about you, but I sure have felt it. And I just want to let all y' all know in here and out there, how important you've been to what we have done. The energy that you have given us, we sincerely need that to have done the best possible show we could have for you for the last 11 years. You've given it to us. We've given it all right back to you. What would you call that, Louis? I would call that a reciprocal emotional relationship. That's exactly right, because we love doing this show for you. But what we really, really love is doing this show with you. Now, I'll say to you what I've said to every audience for the last 11 years, and I have meant it every time. Have a good show. Thanks for being here, and let's do it, y'. All. Ladies and gentlemen, tonight is the series finale of the Late show with Stephen Colbert. And I've got to say, I'm not surprised, because frankly, it's about damn time. Stephen Colbert shot a guy once. I mean, he's a mean guy. He looks mean, doesn't he? He's getting fatter by the episode. He's got a tiny little genetically altered weav. He got caught masturbating in a subway tunnel. I would rather watch the Late show starring Kanye west and Voldemort. He looks like a short butcher peeping over two pounds of liver. Whatever that means. I wish I had an ending for this bit.

[Paul McCartney]

It's the Late show with Stephen Colbert. Tonight, hello, good fun.

[Stephen Colbert]

Featuring Lewis Katum and the great big joy machine.

[Paul McCartney]

And now, live on tape from the

[Stephen Colbert]

Ed Sullivan Theater in New York City, it's Stephen Colbert. Oh, my goodness. You know what? Hello, friends.

[Paul McCartney]

Hello, Hel.

[Stephen Colbert]

Welcome, welcome, welcome, one and all to the Late Show. I'm your host, Stephen Colbert. Sit down. If you're just tuning into the Late show, you missed a lot. Tonight is our final broadcast from the Ed Sullivan Theater, where. No, no. We were lucky enough to be here for the last 11 years. All right, that was. Can't take this for granted, though, actually, technically. Our first show back in July of 2015 was from a public access station in Monroe, Michigan. For an audience of 12 people, and show business being what it is these days, it's probably where you'll see me next. There is so much history here in the Ed Sullivan Theater, and we've been honored to have been just a small part of it. Nichols And May played on the stage. The Beatles made their American debut here. And this is true. This is true. Backstage, Elvis used the bathroom and didn't die. We've had so much fun in this theater. So many great segments. I'll miss doing first drafts where I show the final draft of a greeting card and then show the playfully wrong first draft. So we made one for tonight. This one's pretty nice. This isn't goodbye. It's see you later. Yes, but the first draft said, this isn't goodbye. How do you start an. Only fans. Yeah, I got the tootsies. I got the nice tootsies. Now, at first, when we knew this was gonna be our last night, we were planning on doing a huge special this evening. But the thing is, we like to think every episode of the Late show is kind of special. And we thought the best way to celebrate what we've done over the last 11 years is just do a regular episode where I come out here and talk about the national conversation. And undeniably today, the big story that everyone is talking about. Excuse me.

[Paul McCartney]

Stephen. Stephen. Excuse me.

[Stephen Colbert]

Brian. Thank you. Brian. Brian. Bryan Cranston. Brian. Brian.

[Paul McCartney]

So. But you said there's nothing special happening tonight.

[Stephen Colbert]

Well, I mean, as I was saying, we're doing a normal episode of the Late show, which is always kind of special.

[Paul McCartney]

Oh, yeah, yeah. Oh, absolutely.

[Stephen Colbert]

But not even, like, I don't know, a surprise celebrity cameo popping up out of nowhere? No, Brian, those always feel kind of forced.

[Paul McCartney]

Oh, yeah, absolutely. Yeah, totally.

[Stephen Colbert]

That's a very cheap stunt. But, hey, I'm here. Maybe I could be your last guest. That would be great. Brian, the thing is, and I'm right here, we already have a pretty special one lined up. I'm sorry, What the hell am I here for?

[Paul McCartney]

You know what?

[Stephen Colbert]

You can keep your stupid hat. I'm gonna go sell my ticket. Brian. Brian. Bryan Cranston, everybody. That's too bad. I feel bad.

[Paul McCartney]

I know.

[Stephen Colbert]

I feel terrible. Okay, moving on. Big news if you're looking to fly in or out of New York. Cause yesterday morning, a sinkhole shut down a Runway at LaGuardia. Reportedly, crews found the sinkhole while conducting a daily morning inspection of the airport's airfield. And yes, that is someone's actual job. What? You thought my whole inspector shirt was a joke? It means what? Holy mackerel. Is that why women won't talk to me? Weirdly, that wasn't the only gaping hole to appear in New York City yesterday because. And everyone is fine. A school bus in the Bronx partially fell into a Sinkhole. First Queens, then the Bronx. Even sinkholes don't want to go to Staten Island. You know what? We better get off the air quick before a giant sinkhole swallows the Ed Sullivan. Oh, there's an update on the folks who were exposed to hantavirus on that cruise ship. A while ago, at least two passengers were formally ordered to stay in quarantine in Nebraska. Now, this strict quarantine, I think, is admirably cautious, especially considering the nation's hantavirus response is now being led by Dr. Brian Christine, a penile implant specialist and vaccine skeptic. Clearly, this guy is not a fan of little pricks. Thank you. Thank you very much, Dr. Christain Peabody. Please. The smart choice, Dr. Christine, is an election denying Far White Rack Job, who hosted a YouTube series on erectile dysfunction called Erection Connection, also the name of a very popular category on Craigslist. We were on the same G Train Tuesday, 8:30am you were in jeans and a floral crop top. I had an erection.

[Paul McCartney]

Oh, my.

[Stephen Colbert]

Over in Italy, there's a spiciest scandal brewing over Rome's sexy priest calendar, the Calendario Romano, which features close ups of young, handsome men in priestly attire and has been a perennial Rome souvenir for the last two decades. It's the kind of souvenir that your mom buys as a joke and then puts up in the kitchen as a joke. Then on certain rainy mornings, you come downstairs to find she's just drinking her tea and staring at the calendar as a joke. Mom is so funny. But yesterday, it was revealed that Rome's sexy priest calendar cover model never set foot seminary. And hold on, I'm getting word that this is the worst scandal to ever hit the Catholic Church. Okay, this is my deaf ear. Okay, but I'm not surprised. Just looking at them. You can tell those two men right there are clearly fake priests. And I know for a fact that Pug is only a deacon. Besides, if a calendar.

[Paul McCartney]

Hey, Stephen.

[Stephen Colbert]

What? Stephen, Paul Rudd. Paul. Paul. Paul. Why are you interrupting me? I'm just curious. When our interview starts, I have an extremely long poem I want to recite, and I don't want to run out of time. You wrote a poem about me? I wrote a poem. Okay, that's nice, but, Paul, just to be clear, you're not my last guest. Really? Well, then I guess it's a little awkward that I brought you the traditional retirement gift.

[Paul McCartney]

Oh.

[Stephen Colbert]

Oh, my gosh, that's wonderful. Thank you so much, Paul. Is it like a gold watch? No, I was going to give you the Traditional six bananas. You know, you always give people who are retiring. Well, I'm sorry, Paul, but I'm pretty sure that when someone's retiring, you give them a gold watch. Oh, great. Well, then what am I supposed to do with these five bananas? Wait, five bananas? Hold on. I thought just a moment ago you said it was six. I got hungry.

[Paul McCartney]

Now interview me.

[Stephen Colbert]

Hey, hey, listen. Paul Ruddy. Yeah, thank you. Yeah, it's me, Tim Meadows. Okay, listen, Stephen's a great guy. If he says you're not his last guest, you just gotta accept it. Hey, my old friend, Tim Meadows. Timmy, what are you. It's nice to see you, as always, but what are you doing here, buddy? I was just explaining to Paul Rudd that, you know, for your last guest, you wanted someone you go back with so we could talk about the good old days when you and I were doing Second City together. It's not you either, Tim.

[Paul McCartney]

Screw you, Colbert.

[Stephen Colbert]

You know what? You got what you deserve. Give me those bananas. Thanks, buddy. Love you. I'll tell you one thing. I'll tell you one thing. It's nice, fellas. I'll tell you one thing. This show ending does have one upside. I won't have to talk about the inevitable rise of the Machine Overlords. Though I have recently been given some hope for mankind in the form of this new dancing robot from China.

[Paul McCartney]

Man,

[Stephen Colbert]

that new Michael Jackson movie looks good. Now, a lot of people have been asking me what I plan to do after tonight. And the answer is drugs. But here's the thing. I just found this out. This just came out, right? The National Marine Mammal foundation in my beloved home state of South Carolina. Slightly different idea. Thank you. Because down there they put up this billboard saying, wanted. Former Late show host burdened by whale related childhood ambition. It's actually one of a series of billboards targeted at me from the Marine Mammal Foundation. And I gotta say, it is really flattering to be considered, you know, and it's one of the only billboards in South Carolina that doesn't say repent now. Bible is real. Dial 1-800- Hell for you, cracker. Barrel in two exits. And here's the thing. I don't know how they knew this, but it is true that as a little boy, I grew up wanting to be Jacques Cousteau. So I really appreciate the letter that they sent to me. And they put up on their website saying the work is essential, the mission matters deeply, and the dolphins are cautiously optimistic about your availability. What? The dolphins know I got canceled? Wait, is that true? Dolphins? We Got a great show for you tonight. It's going to be fun. Stick around. Welcome back. Give it up for Louis Cato and the great big joy machine. Oh, my gosh. John Lewis. Lewis Andea. Corey Nega, Joe. Give it up for the band right now. The greatest band on tv. Beautiful. I also. I also just want to take a moment right here. I just want to take a moment right here. Have a seat, everybody. I want to thank everybody who showed up last night to give me the Colbert questionnaire. It was an extraordinary group of our old friends here on the show. We gave it. How much time did we allow it? 21 minutes. 21 minutes. And how long did it go? 58 minutes. Went to 58 minutes. So you can go online and we've put up the whole thing, right? Whole thing. You can watch the whole thing right there in all of its beautiful, chaotic glory. Check it out now, folks. If you watch this show, you know that on every. I'm sorry, Lewis, is that coming from one of your speakers over there? No, I don't think so. Do you hear what I'm talking about, though? Yeah, no, I hear it. Okay, hold on. Can you guys turn it off? Wait, it's gone. Never mind. Sorry. Fantastic. Here we go, folks. If you watch this show, you know I've spent a lot of my time right over there in the new shipyard assembling the most topical story hull using the finest graphics, flawless camera work, direction, sound, and lighting, all powered by a 2000 horsepower marine diesel engine of jokes for the honor of helming the blissfully steady flybridge yacht of comedy. That is my nightly monologue. But sometimes, just sometimes, folks, While wrapping up 11 years of gags about Doritos flavored liquor, three penis cadavers, and cocaine sharks, I strip the copper wire out of our control board and strap my love of my staff and crew to my overturned desk and slap on some fans ripped out of our laser printers, then climb inside and putter away in the unsinkable gratitude dinghy of news that is my segment.

[Paul McCartney]

Meanwhile,

[Stephen Colbert]

It's sweeping the nation. Chris. It's sweeping the nation. It's a salve for the soul. Meanwhile, a federal appeals court has struck down a 150-year-old ban on home distilling, opening the door to making your own spirits at home. Experts say distilling spirits at home is similar to making beer at home in that the first step is to get divorced. Meanwhile, the world's largest Dr. Pepper bottle was just unveiled at the Dr. Pepper Museum and celebrates the iconic soft drink first created in Waco, Texas, in 1885. Yes, Waco, Texas. You know their slogan. Please say we're famous for the soda. Meanwhile, the owner of the music of A Charlie Brown Christmas and other Peanuts television specials has filed four lawsuits yesterday against those illegally using the famous song Linus and Lucy. Peanuts is a powerful brand and corporation in and of itself. Anyone illegally using that music is gonna have to pay through the nose. Louis, Louis, Louis. Excuse me. Louis is the band. Is the band right now playing the same Peanuts music that I just said people are being sued for. For using without permission? Is that what he's doing? Yeah. Yeah, that's. That's what they're. Is that what they're doing? Yeah. Oh, no. I hope this doesn't cost CBS any money. Meanwhile, old school pharmaceutical brand swag is now hot on the thrifting scene. Like this scarf emblazoned with blue Viagra pills. Or this lovely clock with the logo for the antidepressant Lexapro. It's a good looking clock. Plus it's got that catchy slogan. What time is it? I'll tell you what time it isn't. It isn't time to fill your pockets with rocks and walk into the ocean. Meanwhile. Oh, wait a second. Hey, I just noticed another old friend in the audience. It's Tig Notaro. Hi, Tig. Thanks. It's good to. Hey, Stephen. Let me guess. You also think you're gonna be my guest tonight. No. Really? No, I just like to be at historic events. I was at the Obama inauguration, the moon landing and whatever this is. Tig. Yeah? You weren't at the moon landing. I said what I said. Well, I mean, it's nice of you to be here to support me for my last show. This is your last show? Yeah. How did you not know that? I have a very full life, Stephen. Well, here's the deal. It's our last show because we were cancelled and I don't really want to talk about it right now. Yeah, we'll get into it during my interview as the last guest. I got Ryan Reynolds. We'll break it down. Ryan. Ryan, it's great to see you, but I hate to tell you, buddy, you're not my last guest. Ouchie. Okay. Well, you know, in that case, I'm just happy to be here. You know, pay my respects to the. Well, one of the world's greatest entertainers on his last night at the Ed Sullivan Theater. Wow. Well, thank you. Thank you so much, Ryan. That means so much to me. I was talking about your keyboardist, Corey Bernhardt, These are for.

[Paul McCartney]

Thank you.

[Stephen Colbert]

Thank you.

[Paul McCartney]

Please stop dming me.

[Stephen Colbert]

Never. Meanwhile, the New York Post recently profiled a New York City man who makes himself sushi from the bass he catches in the Hudson River. He will be missed. We'll be right back. Welcome back, everybody. Ladies and gentlemen, ladies and genes. Children of all ages, folks. Please have a seat, everybody. And now for my final interview. My guest tonight, he is, in fact, infallible. Please welcome, all the way from Vatican. Stephen. Stephen. What? Paul. Teen, what are you doing? I'm trying to introduce the Pope. Yeah, that's the thing. The Pope won't come out of his dressing room. What? Why not? Well, we didn't read his whole rider, and evidently we got him the wrong snacks. He's pretty mad. But he asked for hot dogs, we got him hot dogs. Let me talk to him. Put him up. Put him up. Your Holiness, please come out. Leo. Leo, please. We got a show. No way, Colbert. You call that a Chicago dog? Pope don't play like that. Leo, out. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh. The Pope, who was definitely my guest tonight, has canceled. And did we already send the other stars away? Yeah, I think so. We already sent the other stars away. This is terrible. Well, who's gonna be my last guest now?

[Paul McCartney]

Hey, Steve, what about me?

[Stephen Colbert]

Thank you. Paul was charging you.

[Paul McCartney]

Yeah.

[Stephen Colbert]

Paul, could you give a Jew. I would do that. This is a perfect. Oh, you'd be perfect. Yeah, I think you'd be a perfect. Last kiss. You could do it. Oh, my God. Ladies and gentlemen, My. My final guest. Oh, my God. Paul. Thank you. Please, have a seat, everybody. This is just. Paul. You'd be my perfect last guest. What? What. What are you doing here, Paul?

[Paul McCartney]

Well, I was just in the area. I was doing some errands.

[Stephen Colbert]

Oh, yeah.

[Paul McCartney]

And. Yeah, actually, I brought something for you.

[Stephen Colbert]

You brought something for me?

[Paul McCartney]

Something for you?

[Stephen Colbert]

What is this? Yeah, there's a. They told me there'd be. I thought the. I thought the Pope was bringing this. I'm sorry about that. What is. I honestly have never seen this.

[Paul McCartney]

Come on.

[Stephen Colbert]

Is that Here. That's here. Right here. Wow. To Stephen. You're better than the Beatles. No, Paul McCartney.

[Paul McCartney]

No, it doesn't.

[Stephen Colbert]

It does. That's what I read.

[Paul McCartney]

It doesn't say that.

[Stephen Colbert]

When my editors are done, that's what it's gonna say. Paul, thank you.

[Paul McCartney]

That's so lovely.

[Stephen Colbert]

Thank you very much. Then we'll go up the line.

[Paul McCartney]

For you, Steven, anything.

[Stephen Colbert]

Well, thank you very much, Paul. I've had the honor of interviewing you before, and You've been back to the Ed Sullivan. But I'm just curious, when you're here, what's your sense? When you close your eyes, do you hear the girls screaming?

[Paul McCartney]

Yeah.

[Stephen Colbert]

Okay. Okay. I'm just curious. Thank you. How often does that happen to you?

[Paul McCartney]

At this point? Often.

[Stephen Colbert]

I want you to know that my brothers and sisters are here because it's last night and two of my sisters, Mary and Margo, were at your concert in Washington, D.C. do you rem. Do you remember them?

[Paul McCartney]

Yeah, I remember that one.

[Stephen Colbert]

Yeah. How does it feel to be back? What do you feel?

[Paul McCartney]

It's fantastic to come back here, like you say. I always remember the girls on the balcony. And what about Mr. Sullivan?

[Stephen Colbert]

Was he a nice fellow?

[Paul McCartney]

Not you.

[Stephen Colbert]

What, the girls.

[Paul McCartney]

Yeah, Mr. Sullivan. I saw Mr. Sullivan was really nice.

[Stephen Colbert]

Yeah.

[Paul McCartney]

Yeah, he was a really cool guy.

[Stephen Colbert]

What do you remember about, like, coming 64? February of 64?

[Paul McCartney]

Yeah.

[Stephen Colbert]

Okay. What do you remember about.

[Paul McCartney]

Well, I mean, you know, we'd never been to America. We come here and we. People said, this is like the biggest show. And tell you the truth, we'd never heard of him. You know, England. But, yeah, so it was fantastic. We came here and you had to go a few floors down to get makeup.

[Stephen Colbert]

Yeah, it's Cavern down there.

[Paul McCartney]

And we kind of used to a little bit of makeup in England. We went down there and the girls put makeup on us and it was like, bright orange.

[Stephen Colbert]

That's very popular in certain circles these days. Yeah, you fit nicely in.

[Paul McCartney]

You set a trend.

[Stephen Colbert]

Yeah, actually, you did. You did. Now we know where it started.

[Paul McCartney]

That's where it started.

[Stephen Colbert]

Thanks a lot, Paul McCartney. Yeah. Were you pleased with how it went? Did you have some sense of what the reaction was?

[Paul McCartney]

Yeah, I mean, we were very pleased to. I mean, looking back on it now, what I'm pleased with. We're live and we sound good, man.

[Stephen Colbert]

Yeah, you're tight. You're really tight.

[Commercial Announcer]

Were you nervous about that?

[Paul McCartney]

Yeah, we were a little bit nervous, you know, but we're young kids and we're sort of full of ourselves.

[Stephen Colbert]

You were 21, right?

[Paul McCartney]

Yeah, something like that.

[Stephen Colbert]

Yeah.

[Paul McCartney]

Yeah. But, yeah, you know, it was very exciting.

[Stephen Colbert]

What was your first impression of America itself being over here? Had you been over before that?

[Paul McCartney]

No. Okay, so it was, we're America, you know, and.

[Stephen Colbert]

Yeah, I. I know, but I'm America. But as. As a boy from Liverpool.

[Paul McCartney]

Yeah, it was.

[Stephen Colbert]

Well, you know, what'd you expect?

[Paul McCartney]

America's where all the music we loved came from. All the rock and roll, the blues and the Whole thing, even going back to the Freight Astaire, it was all from America. So that's what we thought America was just the land of the free, the greatest democracy. Yes, that was what it was.

[Stephen Colbert]

Yep, yep. That was it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Paul McCartney]

Still is, hopefully.

[Stephen Colbert]

Yeah, yeah. Sure, sure.

[Paul McCartney]

Yeah.

[Stephen Colbert]

Well, we have to take a quick. We'll be right back with more Paul McCartney. Everybody stick around. One more time for Lewis Cato in the band right there. That's a good band. Heard it, guys. That's a great band right over there. Now, as you can see. Please have a seat, my friends. As everybody can out there. See, we're here with Sir Paul McCartney. Paul, one thing I wanted to ask you. We're talking about. What the. Tom, did you see that? Yeah. What was that?

[Paul McCartney]

I don't know.

[Stephen Colbert]

All right, all right. Where was I? Paul. Okay, Paul McCarty. Paul, you have not stopped making music, okay? In fact, you've got a brand new album. Is this out now or about to come out? About to come out, about to come out. It is called the Boys of Dungeon Lane. What. What was Dungeon Lane?

[Paul McCartney]

It was a place nearby where I used to live in Liverpool. A place called Speke. And this was the road that led down to the shore. So it was kind of escape from where I used to live.

[Stephen Colbert]

What kind of neighborhood was Dungeon Lane?

[Paul McCartney]

Dungeon Land's okay, but the neighborhood I came from was rough.

[Stephen Colbert]

Okay, so this was the night. This was the fun place to go.

[Paul McCartney]

This is the place to go down.

[Stephen Colbert]

Escape from the dicey neighborhood.

[Paul McCartney]

It was okay, you know, it was all we knew and we loved it.

[Stephen Colbert]

I apologize for calling your neighborhood dicey.

[Paul McCartney]

Yeah, exactly.

[Stephen Colbert]

Please don't leave like the Pope did. Have you ever met the Pope?

[Paul McCartney]

No.

[Stephen Colbert]

Oh, I have.

[Paul McCartney]

Oh,

[Stephen Colbert]

you're Paul McCartney. But I've met the Pope. I just want to get that out there.

[Paul McCartney]

Get you.

[Stephen Colbert]

This is who. Who were the boys of Dungeon Lane?

[Paul McCartney]

Dungeon Lane. You know, basically, it's kind of all the. All the guys I knew then in my mind, there were a couple of which I say I used to go down there. I had a little bird book. I used to. Yeah, I used to be an ornithologist.

[Stephen Colbert]

Oh. Like with binoculars and stuff like that. Wow.

[Paul McCartney]

Well, a book. No binoculars.

[Stephen Colbert]

Oh, okay.

[Paul McCartney]

Just a book.

[Stephen Colbert]

I thought maybe you meant like a bird, like a pretty girl.

[Paul McCartney]

No.

[Stephen Colbert]

You never had a book of those?

[Paul McCartney]

Well, I did, but that's another story. Anyway, I used to go down there kind of as an escape, you know, from where I lived. And it was. It was great fun until One day, the boys, couple of big strapping guys, ugly looking guys, decided to mug me.

[Stephen Colbert]

Really? How old were you?

[Paul McCartney]

I was little and scrawny and they were big and they wanted my watch.

[Stephen Colbert]

Did they get it?

[Paul McCartney]

Yeah. Is that gonna do?

[Stephen Colbert]

Yeah.

[Paul McCartney]

However, I reported them to the cops and they got done and I got my watch back.

[Commercial Announcer]

Wow.

[Stephen Colbert]

Now, that didn't cause you. That didn't cause you any trouble with the boys. Like, the next time they saw you, they didn't say, hey, you're the one who dropped the dime on us?

[Paul McCartney]

No, they were in jail.

[Stephen Colbert]

They went to jail for stealing your watch. All right, there's some beautiful photographs on the inside here. These are. Well, these are the other members of the Beatles right there. There you go. Look at that. Did the other did like John and George and those guys go down to Dungeon Lane with you?

[Paul McCartney]

George would know. He was from that area. That's where I met George. Well, on a bus, but near there.

[Stephen Colbert]

In the song days we left behind, which is a lovely song. You sing, quote, nothing stays the same. No one needs to cry. I've been thinking about change lately. Are you good with change?

[Paul McCartney]

No.

[Stephen Colbert]

Mm.

[Paul McCartney]

I'm not. I like things to just stay the same.

[Stephen Colbert]

Yeah.

[Paul McCartney]

Because I've learned how to do them and then somebody changes it. You're like the iPhone. I know how to do it. Update.

[Stephen Colbert]

Yeah.

[Paul McCartney]

I don't want to update or say, I bought you. I don't want you to change.

[Stephen Colbert]

Wow.

[Paul McCartney]

But it changes.

[Stephen Colbert]

It does happen a lot. All the time. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What do you do? Like, what's nothing to be done about it?

[Paul McCartney]

No, no, no. And I hate cookies.

[Stephen Colbert]

Oh, you mean.

[Paul McCartney]

No, I like those.

[Stephen Colbert]

You like those? You mean like the cookies that attach on the files on your phone?

[Paul McCartney]

We do cookies. No, you don't. I bought you.

[Stephen Colbert]

I know you haven't met the Pope, but I bet you could call Tim Cook and say, don't change my phone.

[Paul McCartney]

Well, I did meet him and I told him off about it. Not the Pope.

[Stephen Colbert]

Not the Pope. Tim Cook. Tim Cook, Yeah.

[Paul McCartney]

Do you believe then he left Applewood?

[Stephen Colbert]

You're the one who drove him away. Scared. Scared of Paul McCartney. Yeah. Well, you know, this is our last show tonight. I have a lot of rituals I do before the show begins. All certain things I have to get done. A little superstitious. It just feels right. I don't like things to change either. I don't have a ritual for ending a show. Do you have any rituals for when you're done with the show?

[Paul McCartney]

Yeah, we normally sort of get on a bus and do what we call a runner. And I have a cheese and pickle sandwich.

[Stephen Colbert]

A cheese and pickle sandwich.

[Paul McCartney]

Cheese and pickle sandwich.

[Stephen Colbert]

Rock and roll.

[Paul McCartney]

Oh, hey. Wild. Yeah, I know. He's. It's very far out. Accompanied with a margarita.

[Stephen Colbert]

Well, that helps. That helps. What's the earliest song Paul McCartney can remember?

[Paul McCartney]

Well, my dad used to play piano in the house, you know, so I would sort of lie around on the carpet listening to him. So probably the earliest one would be Chicago. Chicago. Chicago.

[Stephen Colbert]

Title in town. Yeah. Sammy Khan.

[Paul McCartney]

Yeah, I like that. He was the family pianist, so I heard a lot of those things. Beautiful dreamer. That goes back.

[Stephen Colbert]

Beautiful dreamer. Wake Unto me. Yeah, that's.

[Paul McCartney]

That could be a contender, but yeah.

[Stephen Colbert]

Do people ever misinterpret your songs to you?

[Paul McCartney]

Yes. Yeah. I mean, I kind of like it

[Stephen Colbert]

though, because, you know when they get it wrong. Yeah.

[Paul McCartney]

You write it and you sort of think, okay, there it is, it's done. That's the song. Strawberry Fields. The beginning. It says, living is easy with eyes closed.

[Stephen Colbert]

But it's understanding all you see. Yeah.

[Paul McCartney]

Yeah. But some people think it's living is easy with nice clothes. It's better.

[Stephen Colbert]

Much misunderstanding. Salty sea. Yes. You know about the upcoming four part Sam Mendes series movies, Each one from the point of view of a different Beatles. You're going to be played. You are going to have. Paul Mescal is going to play Paul McCartney. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Who's cuter, young Paul McCartney or Paul Mescal? Me. You're the cute one. You're the cute one.

[Paul McCartney]

No, he's very.

[Stephen Colbert]

We have to take a quick break. We'll be right back with more Paul McCartney. Everybody stick around. Hey, everybody, welcome back. I am here, as you can see, with Paul McCartney. Paul, during the commercial break, you were telling me this story. I hope you'd share with the audience and tell me if I got in this wrong. There was a point at which you and Ringo got into a slap fight with Herman's Her. Tom, did you hear that? Yeah. Do you know what that is? No. This is not the night for technical difficulties. I tell you what, what we're going to do is. I'm sorry about this. We're going to take another quick commercial break and we're gonna find that and fix it. Right, Tom? Yeah. Okay. I'm sorry. We'll be right back with more Paul McCartney. Everybody. I'm so sorry about that. I just don't know why tonight is the night that it's happening. But Olivia, if you could just help Paul. I'll be right back as soon as we figure this out. Paul, thank you. Okay, I'll be right back. Louis. What the is this? Thanks for listening to the Late Show Pod show. That's it for the audio version of our last episode. Now go watch the rest of it online somewhere. I don't know where. I don't care where.

[Paul McCartney]

Bye.

[Commercial Announcer]

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[Stephen Colbert]

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