Paul Rudd | Hiss The Season

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Late Show Pod Show with Stephen Colbert

Episode: Paul Rudd | Hiss The Season
Date: December 16, 2025
Host: Stephen Colbert
Guest: Paul Rudd

Overview

This episode of The Late Show Pod Show features a vibrant and comedic conversation between Stephen Colbert and actor Paul Rudd. The episode balances witty monologue, a sharp satire on recent news, and hilarious anecdotes about holiday traditions, all culminating in a lively interview with Rudd about his new film Anaconda, his unexpected holiday job history, and unusual animal trivia.

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Key Highlights & Insights

Monologue & Current Events Satire

• Somber Opening ([03:57])

  • Colbert acknowledges recent real-world tragedies (Hanukkah massacre at Bondi Beach, Brown University shootings, deaths of Rob and Michelle Reiner), explaining that the show's usual cold open is skipped “in light of and in spite of the darkness.”
    • "Other people’s tragedy is sacred ground and we try very hard not to walk there. But we are going to do a comedy show tonight..." — Stephen Colbert, [04:12]

• Political Satire: Trump’s Christmas Party Story

  • Colbert recounts an absurd story former President Trump told at a holiday event, involving snakes in Peru and outlandish statistics about snakebite deaths.
    • Trump claims: “28,000 people die a year from a snake bite... in Peru.” ([06:38])
    • Colbert fact-checks: “The actual number... is 10 total in 15 years.” ([07:19])
      • "He said 28,000 every year... factored into 10 over 15, and the answer is dementia." — Colbert, [07:17]

• Arc de Triomphe Parody

  • Trump announces a plan to build an arc in Washington, D.C. “like the one in Paris, but... blows it away.” ([10:29])
    • "A better arc than Paris. A bigger bend than London. We're gonna make an even leaner tower of pizza. That's our motto. No one out pizzas the Trump." — Colbert, [10:38]

• Word of the Year & AI Satire ([12:53])

  • Colbert references Merriam Webster’s word of the year: "slop", relating to AI-generated low-quality content.
    • "This is personal for me because as a former Word of the Year winner for my word truthiness." — Colbert, [13:10]
    • Jokes about internet fabrications involving himself.

• Raccoon News ([14:35])

  • Provides a comedic “update” on a raccoon repeatedly breaking into a liquor store and other businesses.
    • "That raccoon is a repeat offender. Sounds like it’s time for an intervention." — Colbert

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Guest Interview: Paul Rudd

Holiday Traditions and Cheer ([18:34])

• Rudd Is “Pro-Holiday”

  • Colbert: “I think you’re probably one for deck in the halls like your holly jolly. Did you get into it?”
    Rudd: “I really get into it. I love it. I love the holidays.” ([18:55])

• Christmas Tree Preferences

  • Discusses the merits of white vs. colored lights and artificial "snowed" trees.
    Colbert: “White lights or colored?”
    Rudd: “I have white... but I like color, too. Not crazy about the white trees... the ones that look like they got snowed on.” ([19:17])

Early Job: Ham Glazing ([19:44])

• Paul’s Surprising Holiday Job

  • Rudd shares a story about working at the Holiday Ham Company, spiral-cutting and glaze-torching hams to pay for acting school as a young man.
    • Step-by-step descriptions, including blowtorches and protective gear.
    • Rudd: “I had protective arm guards... goggles... it was like I was arc welding. There was a sugar sifter and a tub of sugar.” ([21:43])
    • Colbert: “How long did you do this?”
      Rudd: “About six months... through the holidays.” ([22:39])

• Valentine’s Day Humor

  • Colbert: “Nobody’s buying ham for Valentine’s Day.”
    Rudd: “Yeah. Nothing says I love you more than a ham.” ([22:56])

New Film: Anaconda ([24:53])

• Cast & Production

  • Colbert: “Let’s talk about the new film Anaconda.”
    Rudd highlights the cast: Jack Black, Steve Zahn, Thandiwe Newton, Selton Mello. ([25:10])
  • Reminisces about playing The Beatles with Jack Black in Walk Hard and the difficulty of the Liverpudlian accent.
    • Rudd: “Jack really... made me laugh. He just went full Scottish.” ([26:21])
    • Colbert: “A little too far north. Just a hair too far north.”

• Animal Encounters: Snakes & More ([27:04])

  • Rudd admits a strong dislike for snakes:
    • Colbert: “How do you feel about snakes?”
      Rudd: “I don’t like them... What am I saying? I hate them.”
  • Animal phobias segue into the Colbert Questionnaire:
    • “What is the most dangerous animal?” ([28:04])
      • Rudd: “That’s the candiru fish... the one that swims up your urine stream and lodges...” ([28:07])
      • Colbert (groaning): “Oh. Imagine if a snake did that.” ([28:36])
  • Rudd tries to mention the mantis shrimp, but is cut off due to time.
    • Colbert: “With the understanding that it’ll never make it to air, please tell us about mantis shrimp.” ([28:57])

---

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Fact Checking Trump’s Story
  “He said 28,000 every year... factored into 10 over 15, and the answer is dementia.” — Colbert, [07:17]

• On Holiday Ham
  “I had protective arm guards... goggles... it was like I was arc welding. There was a sugar sifter and a tub of sugar.” — Paul Rudd, [21:43]

• On Holiday Meat for Valentines
  “Nothing says I love you more than a ham.” — Paul Rudd, [22:56]

• On Unusual Animals
  “That’s the candiru fish. The one that swims up your urine stream and lodges...” — Paul Rudd, [28:07]
  "Imagine if a snake did that." — Colbert, [28:36]

• On The Beatles Impression
  “Jack really... made me laugh. He just went full Scottish.” — Paul Rudd, [26:21]

---

Key Timestamps

• [03:57] – Colbert’s somber opening and explanation for skipping the cold open
• [06:38] – Trump’s Christmas party snake story & fact check
• [10:29] – Trump’s “Arc” announcement satire
• [13:10] – AI “slop” word of the year discussion
• [14:35] – Raccoon news update segment
• [18:34] – Colbert welcomes Paul Rudd
• [19:44] – Rudd’s ham-glazing job story
• [24:53] – Discussion of Anaconda and Beatles impersonation
• [27:04] – Snake phobia and dangerous animal discussion
• [28:57] – Introduction to mantis shrimp (cut off for time)

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Tone & Style

• Language/Tone:
  Fast-paced, irreverent, and sharp, with Colbert’s trademark deadpan sarcasm and Rudd’s laid-back, self-deprecating humor.

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This episode is a blend of topical satire, holiday cheer, and celebrity banter—perfect for returning and new listeners to The Late Show Pod Show.

Transcript

[A]

Hey, everybody. Stephen Colbert here about to read the copy for our sponsor. This is from our friends at Wonderful Pistachios. And I was the wonderful pistachio spokesman for years. Yeah, I have a real close association with nut meat. Okay. You know what they say when they reach for a snack? Don't hold back. And that's exactly the approach with Wonderful Pistachios. The don't hold back snack. These little wonders are so tasty, it feels like getting away with something. But surprise. Each serving has 6 grams of protein and 0 grams of regret. That's right. No guilt. Just glory, glory in our nuts. Whether it's a satisfying crack of in shell pistachios, and that's capitalized in shell, or the smooth, instant gratification of no shells. No judgment. That's just it. Just eat. No judgment. I take issue with one thing. It's instant gratification. It's super tasty smooth.

[B]

It's a hard nut smooth.

[A]

Exactly. I mean, even out of the shell, it's still a nut.

[B]

We can't disparage the nuts.

[A]

You. I'm not disparaging the nut. I'm describing the nut.

[B]

Don't disparage any flavors.

[A]

I'm not. I am celebrating the pistachio right now. I'm on board. I love pistachios. I love. I love crushed pistachio. Like a pistachio crusted trout. Oh, unbelievable. Instead of a trout amandine, a trout pistachio. Fantastic. Enough butter?

[C]

Who cares?

[B]

Very good.

[A]

And I love pistachio ice cream.

[B]

Have you had the sea salt and vinegar? Wonderful pistachio. It's delicious. I get em.

[A]

I didn't even know I get them.

[B]

Before the softball games.

[D]

But that's.

[A]

You see, it's been a while since I've been the spokesman for wonderful pistachios. I didn't realize we'd achieved new pistachio technology.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

Wow. Wonderful pistachios has every snack style covered. Right now. There's an obsession with jalapeno lime. There is an obsession session. It's almost a disorder. It's spicy, it's zesty. It's basically a flavor roller coaster in a nut. Snacking on the go. Grab a bag of no shells. Feeling contemplative and want to work for it a little. So earning it, they're saying if you want to earn your nut, crack open those in shell beauties. Either way, it's snacking like a champ. So the next time hunger strikes, don't hold back. Unless it's a hunger strike. And then it's important that you do because whatever you're doing that for, I'm sure it's a worthwhile cause. Snack like you mean it with wonderful pistachios. Visit wonderfulpistachios.com to learn more.

[B]

That was a wonderful.

[A]

I wonder what more there is to learn. We just told them so much. We just told them so much about pistachios. But evidently there's a whole other world. There's an unexplored vista.

[B]

They got a bunch of flavors. They got dill pickle, jalapeno lime, as we learned, smoky barbecue. There's a lot of different flavors.

[A]

Wow. And I would not disparage any of them.

[B]

No, no, no.

[A]

Bring it on.

[B]

Nothing bad to say.

[A]

Nut me, nut, nut me with nut meat.

[B]

We're nut.

[A]

No, we got nothing but nut. Nutty, nutty, nutty, nutty. Talk about, talk about, talk about, talk about, talk about nutty. Good. Hey, Ryan Reynolds here for Mint Mobile. You know, one of the perks about having four kids that you know about is actually getting a direct line to the big man up north. And this year he wants you to know the best gift that you can give someone is the gift of Mint Mobile's unlimited wireless for $15 a month. Now you don't even need to wrap it. Give it a [e-mail] Switch up front.

[E]

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[A]

Hi, everybody. Normally we start the show with a short, cold open about a major news story of the day. But after the terrible news this past weekend, the horrifying Hanukkah massacre at Bondi beach, the tragic shootings at Brown University, and the heartbreaking deaths of Rob and Michelle Reiner, all the major stories are too dark for that. Other people's tragedy is sacred ground and we try very hard not to walk there. But we are going to do a comedy show tonight in light of and in spite of the darkness. So, Louis, Welcome one and all to THE Late show. I'm your host, Stephen Colbert. Ladies and gentlemen, first of all, let me start off by saying happy Hanukkah. Yesterday, our president celebrated the first night of Hanukkah by holding a Christmas party where he told a story that somehow lasted eight nights. Let me set the scene. Let me set the scene. Ladies and gentlemen, Trump's in front of a group of families, including small children who are waiting to see Santa, which, knowing this administration, is probably a shirtless RFK junior. I'm sorry, remind me, who flies his sleigh? My two ravens. Anyway, rather than giving some canned remarks, Trump decided to do a little crowd work when he spots a man whose name is Dr. James Jones and is inspired to tell this story.

[C]

Dr. James went on a trip to Peru with the two Obama girls. It's known for being a rather rough place in terms of physical creatures crawling around.

[A]

Yes, physical creatures crawling around. Take one second to think of the word animal. It's right on the tip. I know the word.

[D]

I know, folks.

[A]

I know the word. It's right on the tip of my physical creature crawling around in my mouth, the pink tasting worm. But he's right. Peru is known for being a rough place loaded with dangerous physical creatures. They've got this one little bear who is a maniac for marmalade. No, you were telling us how dangerous Peru was.

[C]

28,000 people die a year from a snake bite. A certain snake. It's a viper, right?

[A]

This is a speech about Christmas. You might be thinking naturally, you might be thinking, why snakes? Have you forgotten the immortal words of Tiny Tim? Oh, God, it got me. Suck the poison out. Hit it with a crutch, you idiot. Also, God blesses everyone. That's how that ends. Also, quick fact check here. He said 28,000 people die a year from snake bites in Peru. That sounds over exaggerated.

[C]

That's not over exaggerated.

[A]

Yes, it is. Yes, it is. And don't interrupt me. We have fact checkers and our fact checkers fact checked the actual number of people who died from snake bites in Peru from the years 2000 to 2015, a period of time when one imagines the story took place, is 10 total in 15 years. Okay, so let's do that math. Let's see how far off he was. He said 28,000 every year multiplied by 15 factored into 10 over 15, and the answer is dementia. Now there you go. Oh, I got you. I got you on that one. I was there. He snakeied on final day, final two.

[C]

Hours, he gets hit by a viper. Right? This is a terrible Christmas story.

[A]

What makes you say that? I believe it'll be a beloved holiday tale, just like that classic Samuel L. Jackson movie.

[D]

I have had it with these Merry Christmas snakes on this happy Hanukkah plane.

[A]

Long story short. Long story short, the doctor in his story gets bitten, and that's bad. So naturally you're wondering, how powerful was this snake?

[C]

It's so powerful. This snake Said to be the most poisonous, that the black mamba, the brown mamba, and the viper from Peru.

[A]

The black mamba, the brown mamba, the mamba number five. A little bit of Monica by the snake, a little bit of Erica bit by a snake. A little bit of Rita bit by a snake, a little bit of Tina. Electrocution. Didn't expect the electrocution, did you, Ellis? This story. This story, which I need you to know, went on for nearly 10 minutes, was full of wholesome details about what happened after Dr. Jones was bitten.

[C]

He's being read his rights and his. They thought he was dead. Three times. Three different times.

[A]

This is a terrible story for a room full of children, but great viral marketing for Anaconda, starring my guest tonight, Paul Rudd, now considered a Christmas movie. As you can see, Trump had his holiday fun, but he also used this Christmas party to make a big policy announcement.

[C]

We have a policy thing that's going to be unbelievable happening. Should I announce it or should I keep it quiet?

[A]

Please, please, please announce your new policy initiative. Is it a way to help with affordability? Is it a plan to keep health care premiums from skyrocketing? Please, sir, please. What is this unbelievable policy thing?

[C]

We're building an Arc, like the Arc de Triomphe. It will be like the one in Paris, but to be honest with you, it blows it away. Blows it away.

[A]

Look, to be honest with you, if I have to be, not my first choice, but to be honest, yes, we're gonna. It's gonna be better than the Arc than Paris. It's a better arc than Paris. A bigger bend than London. We're gonna make an even leaner tower of pizza. That's our motto. No one out pizzas the Trump. That's e pluribus unum. That's what that means. Sorry, can I hold your skip for a second? Skip for a second. There you go. Got a little juicy there for a second. It's not just about beating France. According to Blob the Builder, DC DC really needs this arch.

[C]

It's the only city in the world that's of great importance that doesn't have a triumphal arc.

[A]

Every city, every city, every city, every city's got one, some have two. They call it the Golden Arc, is when you see them, soon as you see them on the highway, you know you're about to have a very happy meal. They say, they say, and they say this and they say that and they say it. They say it's for kids, but now they have a Grinch one. With green salt for adults. Comes with his own bag and put the salt in. They say it's pickle. Pickle. Very big right now. Almost as big as the snakes in Peru. Those snakes killed the Grinch, you know, they swallowed him whole with the little dog. Also this weekend, Trump attended the Army Navy football game, which is. He thoroughly enjoyed that, I think, by which I mean he played on his phone, posted a bunch of nonsense, including bragging about the new mirror and bronze lettering at the door of the West Wing. Now, the only risk here is that Trump walks outside, thinks his reflection is a rival, and attacks the mirror like an angry parakeet. You gotta put a hood over him. You gotta put a hood over him. He also posted a picture of his dumb presidential walk of fame where behind him the mirror shows his big ol loaf of banana butt. For safety on the mirror, just for safety reasons, they had to add a warning. Objects in mirror may be bigger than they appear. We're almost, We're almost at the end of December and you know what that means. The folks over at Merriam Webster have chosen their word of the year this year. It is sloppy, which they define as digital content of low quality that is produced usually in quantity by means of artificial intelligence. Now, folks, this is, this is personal for me because as a former Word of the year winner for my word truthiness. And because.

[D]

And because.

[A]

Thank you. Thank you. That's what I wanted, but thank you. There's a lot of. Also, there's a lot of AI generated slop of me out on the web. And this is true. You can search for this. Here I am stopping the show when Millie Bobby Brown collapsed and stopping the show to reveal that Tom Cruise's biological father is in the audience. And of course, my favorite, stopping the show when a homeless man in my audience turned out to be the former superstar Jack Sterling. Now, to everyone who's saying, who's Jack Sterling, shame on you. How soon you forget that you never knew. Merriam Webster says they chose slop over some other heavy contenders, including Gerrymander Tariff and a body of water in Massachusetts called Lake Chargog Agog, Manchog Choubongamog. Famously. Famously. Thank you. Famously the only lake named after the sound you make when you drown in it.

[D]

What? Wait, what?

[B]

What?

[A]

That sound. Ladies and gentlemen, you know that that sound means that. We have an update on an important ongoing raccoon story. This. This is new raccoon news. Welcome. You may recall that last month down in Virginia, a raccoon broke into a liquor store trashed an aisle of bottles and then passed out in the bathroom in full sploot. Well, we just learned according to animal control, that raccoon is a repeat offender. Sounds like it's time for an intervention. Raccoon. When you drink I feel happy cuz then I get to talk about you instead of Donald Trump. I love you drunk raccoon. Please don't stop drinking. So where else has this little booze bandit broken into? Well, apparently that liquor store is in a shopping complex and he's been sneaking into the stores one by one. An officer said that the first time they caught him, he he was in a karate studio. Wait a second. There's a strip mall that has a liquor store and a karate studio? I know where I'm going in June. Probably law school next. The raccoon broke into another establishment in the same building. The dmv. Well, that explains why he's so good at parallel parking. We got a great show for you tonight.

[B]

Coming up.

[A]

Paul Rudd.

[B]

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[A]

Ladies and gentlemen My first guest tonight is an actor you know from this is 40 Ant man and Ghostbusters Afterlife. His new film is Anaconda.

[E]

Help me. Help me.

[B]

Help me.

[D]

Help me.

[A]

It's okay.

[E]

Help me.

[D]

It's okay.

[A]

Come down.

[D]

I'll come get you.

[A]

It's okay. You're safe.

[D]

You're safe. Nope. Oh, God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

[A]

Please welcome back to the Late Show, Paul Rudd. We've talked many times. I've been lucky enough to know you. I don't think we've ever talked about the holidays. I'm gonna go on a limb and say I think you're probably one for deck in the halls like your holly jolly. Did you get into it?

[D]

I really get into it. I love it. I love the holidays. Yep.

[A]

Where do you find the courage?

[D]

What?

[A]

Where do you find the courage to say that I love Christmas?

[D]

I don't care. I love it. I know it's a hot take. I love it. I like all of the sparkly lights.

[A]

And the colored lights. White lights on your tree. Which one? White lights or colored lights?

[D]

I have white.

[A]

Okay.

[D]

But here's something else.

[A]

You know what?

[D]

I like color, too. Seems like more colored fans. No, I'm not crazy about the white trees. The ones that look like they got snowed on, though.

[A]

Pre snowed. Pre snowed? Yeah. Yeah. No, not so much, no.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

No, this was great.

[A]

I learned today. I learned something about you today that really actually puts you on the cutting edge of all Christmas experiences. That you worked pre glazing hams for a living. You glazed hams for a living?

[D]

Yeah, I got them pre glazed and I glazed them.

[A]

No, they weren't glazed when you got them, right?

[D]

No, no, I took them off the truck and they were unglazed.

[A]

Walk me through it. Don't leave out any steps.

[D]

You want step by step?

[A]

How old are we talking? How old is Paul Rudd in this?

[D]

So this. I was 20. No.

[A]

Wow. I did not expect a two.

[D]

It was a two. There might have been two.

[A]

I thought it was gonna be a teen. I thought that was.

[D]

By the way, it might have been 19. It was maybe going into a two.

[A]

Okay.

[D]

I was trying to get some money to go to pay for acting school. Clearly that didn't work, but I got a job at Holiday Ham Company.

[A]

Holiday Ham Big company.

[D]

Not really, but.

[A]

Honey Bake.

[D]

Honey Bakes was a big company.

[A]

Oh. Because they got the spiral cut.

[D]

I did a spiral cut.

[A]

You did a spiral cut?

[D]

Yeah, I unloaded a truck. I'd have to Take them out of the cryovac, put them on a spit. And there's an arm, a bladed arm that would come through and I'd have to slice. This was a whole one man operation. I wasn't just glazing, I was slicing. But it would turn.

[A]

It would turn the ham.

[D]

And then you would have to kind of like pull a lever. The blade would come in and it would do a little spiral cut around the bone. And then you gotta saw it in half. And then you put it on a big old metal thing. That's the technical term, like a flate.

[A]

Or a spike or. What are we talking here?

[D]

No, it was like. Like a thing. And then there was a torch that came down from the ceiling hooked onto a blowtorch. It was a blowtorch. It was hooked up to propane. And then I had protective arm guards. And.

[A]

Were you wearing goggles?

[D]

Goggles. It was like. I was arc welding. And there was a sugar sifter with a tub of sugar.

[A]

And then.

[D]

And you would just hold the torch and go. And you do. And you would basically melt sugar.

[A]

You crust in the ham?

[D]

I'm crusting. I'm crusting it. I'm crusting it. And so I'd crust the ham, and.

[A]

The ham is pre cooked. Pre cooked, right?

[D]

Ham's pre cooked. Yeah, I would crust the ham, then I would glaze it. And then I wrap it up, I weigh it. They take it out to the front of the shop and some poor son of a bitch buys it.

[A]

Now why did you have to weigh it? Cause that was for the price.

[D]

They didn't have that many employees. They could all. You know, we all had. You know, it's like there was somebody manning the register. Yeah, there was somebody. There was a couple. I wasn't working alone. There were a couple of.

[A]

How long did you do this? Not long.

[D]

I did it for about six months.

[A]

Okay.

[D]

But I did it through the holidays. Cause that's.

[A]

That must have been the highest. Yeah, it's holiday ham company.

[D]

Yeah, exactly, exactly.

[A]

It's right there in the name.

[D]

Yeah, it really slowed down in February. Yeah. Nobody's buying ham for Valentine's Day.

[A]

I got you a hawk.

[D]

Yeah. Nothing says I love you more than a hawk.

[A]

We have to take a quick break. We're right back with more Paul Rudd, everybody.

[F]

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[E]

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[A]

Mr. Paul Rudd, let's talk about the new film Anaconda.

[D]

Okay.

[A]

I'm very excited. I love the clip. It's starring you, starring Jack Black. Steve Zahn is in there. Jeep. Love him.

[D]

And Tandaway Newton.

[C]

What?

[D]

Tandaway Newton.

[A]

Sure, I know her.

[D]

A Brazilian actor named Seltan Melo. Just it's an amazing, amazing group of people, really.

[A]

You've worked with Jack before, right? Have you worked him in? Walk hard.

[D]

Walk hard.

[A]

Walk hard. We have a clip here of the two of you and you're playing.

[D]

Paul.

[A]

McCartney and John Lennon right in this. And let's just do some of your work here.

[D]

I like your stuff.

[A]

It's pretty good. And most of your records I really enjoy. Well, we're big fans of your records too. We like to think that Hard Day's Night is our guiltiest charge. Great record. Excellent album.

[C]

We learned a lot from it.

[A]

Great record. Now, I mean, obviously the first question is how long did you go live in Liverpool to prepare for for that accent?

[D]

It took a real long time to really nail it. And this was easily the most terrifying thing. The idea of actually playing the Beatles even in a ridiculous scene like that was we were so stressed out and the Biggest thing is, how do you get down a Liverpool accent? It's not an easy way.

[A]

Liverpudlian.

[D]

Liverpudlian. And one of my favorite. Jack really, you know, made me laugh. He just went full Scottish.

[A]

A little too far north. Just a hair too far north.

[D]

I remember sitting there, he's like, guilty as charged. And I like what.

[B]

It was.

[D]

Justin Long played George Harrison. And by the way, this is how seriously we took it the night before. I remember with Justin, we watched Hard Day's Night as if we were, like, trying to be Daniel Day Lewis and get down. We gotta really work at this. And we were pathetic. And then Justin comes in and he is George Harrison. Justin got nailed. Nailed it. Wow, he's really an impressive mimic.

[A]

We saw the clip of you in the boat with the snake there and the intro here. How do you feel about snakes? Some people are very. Do not like snakes at all to the day. They bother you.

[D]

I don't like them.

[A]

What? You don't like them?

[D]

No, I mean, I'm not like.

[A]

No.

[D]

What am I saying? I hate them.

[A]

Some people really like stuff like that.

[D]

Out in the wild. I get really creeped out. It's like seeing a rat or somebody else. I'm like, ooh. I mean, they're amazing creatures. Don't get me. They're incredible. But I don't know. I don't. I was never one of those guys, like, oh, I gotta get a. I want a snake in my room, or anything like that.

[A]

Yeah, you can't really trust those guys. No, they're very upsetting.

[D]

Yeah. What about you? Do you like snakes?

[A]

No, I don't like snakes. I'm not particularly afraid of snakes, but I don't like snakes. I don't like spiders. Spiders is my thing.

[C]

Oh, really?

[D]

You have a spider. Something brings out.

[A]

I don't believe it's the most dangerous animal.

[D]

No.

[A]

But I don't like spiders.

[D]

No, no, no, Nothing.

[A]

That's kind of. I'll ask you the questions in the Colbert questionnaire. We're not doing the Colbert questionnaire right now. But one of the questions in the Colbert questionnaire. I'm sure you know what the Colbert questionnaire is, of course.

[D]

Oh, absolutely.

[A]

What is the most dangerous animal?

[D]

Oh, well, that's easy.

[A]

What?

[D]

That's the candiru fish.

[A]

What's the candiru fish? What is the candiru fish?

[D]

Who knows what a candiru fish is?

[A]

Does anybody know what the candiru fish is?

[D]

That guy's raising his hand. Okay, that's the one that's like the little fish that swims up your urine stream and lodges.

[A]

Oh.

[D]

Gets in there, gets into your urethra and goes.

[C]

Oh.

[A]

Puts the spikes out so you can't get it out.

[D]

Yeah, yeah. I like snakes more than them.

[C]

But.

[A]

Imagine if a snake did that.

[D]

Yeah, that would suck.

[A]

There's so much. We have so much more. We have so much more to talk about.

[D]

We didn't even get into mantis shrimp, what with.

[A]

With the understanding that it'll never make it to air.

[D]

Great.

[A]

Please tell us about mantis shrimp now.

[D]

Are you talking about mantis shrimp or the entire interview? Mantis shrimp is a. Is a.

[A]

Thanks so much. Thank you so much. Had a great time. Anaconda is in theaters Christmas Day. Mr. Paul Rudd, everybody. Thank you for listening to the Late Show Pod show with Stephen Colbert. Just one more thing. If you want to see more of me, come to The Late Show YouTube channel for more clips and exclusives. Paramount plus is the new home of ufc. It isn't just combat, it's cinema. Every strike is a frame. What a shot. Every rivalry a story.

[D]

Oh, my goodness.

[A]

This canvas is more than a stage. Are you not entertained? It's where legends are made.

[B]

UFC on Paramount, plus every fight one.

[A]

Subscription streaming this January Sunday count on.

[D]

Another NFL on CBS doubleheader. First, the Bills hope to build on last week's incredible win when they face the Browns.

[A]

Then a must see matchup in the.

[D]

Motor City when Aaron Rodgers and the Steelers face Jameer Gibbs and the Lions.

[A]

Fires it into wide open.

[D]

It all begins at noon Eastern with the NFL today. You can always count on Sundays with the NFL on CBS and streaming on Paramount Plus.