
Loading summary
Stephen Colbert
At Designer Shoe Warehouse, we believe that shoes are an important part of, well, everything.
Becca
From first steps to first dates, from all nighters to all time personal bests.
Stephen Colbert
From building pillow forts to building a life.
Becca
For all the big and small moments that make up your whole world. DSW is there and we've got just the shoes. Find a shoe for every you from brands you love at brag worthy prices at your DSW store or dsw.com this.
Hay Day
Episode is brought to you by Hay Day. Feeling stressed? Take a moment for yourself with Hay Day. Stroll through rows of golden wheat, tend to cute Barnard animals and discover the joys of a digital farm retreat. You don't have to hop in a car or catch a plane. Escape to the farm at the tap of a finger. With Hay Day, you're not just tending to a farm, you're tending to yourself. Hay Day search Hayday. That's H a Y space D a y in your favorite app store. Hay Day is a free to play mobile game and offers optional in app purchases and random rewards.
Becca
Hi everybody. Listening to.
Stephen Colbert
I'm sorry, I apologize.
Becca
You're listening to Stephen Hydrating on the Late Show Pod show with Stephen Colbert. I'm Becca. I'm a producer here at the Late Show.
Stephen Colbert
You're a great producer, Becca.
Becca
Oh, Stephen, please.
Stephen Colbert
This is my highlight. I just do the show so we can have these things together once, like every five weeks we do this. They just fly, don't they? It feels like we're just in here.
Becca
If you're new to the Pod show, what we do is the show sometimes goes on a break and when we're on break, we have Stephen come to the podcast booth and we introduce. We introduce some content from the show so Steven can give us a backstage glance at the stuff we do on tv.
Stephen Colbert
And often you kind of quiz me on who I think the guest is gonna be. Yes, indeed. Are we doing that this week?
Becca
We got some quizzes for sure that we can do.
Stephen Colbert
What do we got for today?
Becca
Okay, this is really special. This was a character that came onto our show for a very special Popey. Popey time.
Stephen Colbert
Oh, Father Guido Sarducci.
Father Guido Sarducci
Yes.
Becca
That was not a good quiz, but I really wanted you to get a chance to talk about Don Novello.
Stephen Colbert
Donna, come on. Father Guido Ducci. I'm a huge fan of Don Novello who actually wrote for the Smothers Brothers.
Becca
Yeah.
Stephen Colbert
Can you imagine that room you got Don Novello, Steve Martin. But who else was in that group? Oh, Super Dave Osborne, you know, Albert Brooks's brother who Was Rob Reiner. Can you imagine that room? Mason Williams. Do you know who Mason Williams is?
Becca
I don't know who Mason Williams is.
Stephen Colbert
Mason Williams. Well, all those guys came, like, from the, like the folk house, coffee house, you know, kind of scene where there would be comedy and like folk music. And a lot of them were, like the conceptual bits. But he played folk music and he wrote comedy. And so one night on the Smothers Brothers, they needed a musical act and I guess somebody had backed out and they said, mason, who was the head writer, I think goes, you play the guitar. Why don't you go out there and play some of that stuff you're always writing? And he went and played a song called Classical Gas. Oh, and it's fantastic. You don't know Classical Gas? Here, I'll play a little bit of it and then we'll get sued for copyright infringement. I'm just going to play just a little bit of it right here.
Becca
Okay, great.
Stephen Colbert
And then they can just take it out. And if we find out that we don't have the rights, then just have like, you know, a toy piano playing Camp Down Races or something like that.
Becca
Awesome. We'll do.
Stephen Colbert
Okay, so I got it right here. Classical Gas. Anything?
Becca
Not yet.
Stephen Colbert
Right now it sounds like the soundtrack to like a Franco Zeffirelli movie, like Romeo and Juliet or something. Nothing. Here we go. Nothing.
Becca
It sounds very familiar, but it's not so good. It's.
Stephen Colbert
Yeah, it was a hit. It became a hit and he just went out there on the Smothers Brothers to play it.
Becca
So no lyrics?
Stephen Colbert
No, it used to have. Used to be able to have instrumental hits.
Becca
Yeah, yeah. What's up with that?
Stephen Colbert
Videos.
Becca
Yeah, yeah.
Stephen Colbert
Videos. You had to have somebody out there, be the sexy person standing out front. So you don't have many. There aren't a lot. After video started, you had a huge drop off. You're like, in the 70s, you had that. You had popcorn.
Becca
Yeah.
Stephen Colbert
Booker T. Yeah. And the MGs.
Becca
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Stephen Colbert
You had a fifth of Beethoven, which was a disco Beethoven.
Becca
Yeah. Fantastic.
Stephen Colbert
None of that. Anyway, back to Guido Sarducci. That jacket that he wore on the show he bought when he was working for the Smothers Brothers.
Becca
Oh, my God.
Stephen Colbert
And I think Sarducci was a character he brought to snl. Yeah, it was on SNL for years. One of my favorites. It's a huge throwback. And I was a huge fan of Don Novello when I was in college because somebody gave me a copy of something called the Laszlo Letters and the Laszlo Letters were this series of letters that Don Novello wrote in the character of a super patriot letter writer who complained to a lot of politicians and a lot of corporate interests about how America was being diminished by people not being proud enough of America. So, like, you know, make America great again, not a new idea. And that character, Lazlo Toth was the name. Lazlo Toth, who at the time was the same name as the guy who took a hammer and tried to smash the face off of Mary Magdalene in.
Becca
The Pieta at St Peter's Peter's name in the Brutalist, too.
Stephen Colbert
Exactly. Evidently, Laszlo Toth in Hungary is like St. John Smith, but Lazlo Toth was the Laszlo letters. And there are two volumes, Laszlo I and Laszlo 2. And highly influential to my character on the Colbert Report. Like, it's nobody. People don't know the Laszlo letters, but if you read them, you go, oh, I see what Stephen stole. And so I love Don Novello. And I ran into don at the SNL's 50th.
Becca
Oh, cool.
Stephen Colbert
And we've been thinking of, like, I'd love to find some way to do something with Don. And so then when the Pope passed, I went, let's ask Don if he wants to do Guido. And it was fantastic.
Becca
Amazing.
Stephen Colbert
It was such a great hit. And he's got his own style. Like, we wrote a full script for Don and then he came in the day of and went, I've got some ideas. Like, whatever you want. And he rewrote it entirely.
Becca
Oh, yeah.
Stephen Colbert
And there really was no script at the end. I just asked him questions and he answered in character what you're seeing. Like, I wasn't entirely sure what was about to happen.
Becca
Yeah.
Stephen Colbert
So you're seeing Discovery. It was a complete joy.
Becca
It was amazing to watch in rehearsal. Cause that vibe was absolutely happening.
Stephen Colbert
Yeah. Rehearsal was not what happened on the show either.
Becca
No. Yeah. What is this man gonna say in his zebra print priestly outfit.
Stephen Colbert
Exactly.
Becca
So cool. Well, and this was before. This was during the Conclave or right before the Conclave. And now we have a Pope. Now we have a Chicago Pope.
Stephen Colbert
Sure. Robert Francis Prevost.
Becca
Yes.
Stephen Colbert
Yeah. From the south side.
Becca
Yeah. How you feel about Chicago Pope?
Stephen Colbert
I'm excited.
Becca
Yeah.
Stephen Colbert
First of all, I was. We had Father Jim Martin on the other night, and I said this to him, but I was. I'd never expected an American Pope. I didn't want an American Pope.
Becca
Same.
Stephen Colbert
You know what I mean? Because I don't. I think the American church is already too politicized as it is. They got sucked into the culture wars when. I don't think the church should be in culture wars. I think they should have cultural weight. But to actually get into the politics, to associate your church with a political party or to political fights is dangerous. Not just because of separation of church and state or violation of the Supremacy Clause or anything like that, but. And as much as I'm leery about religion getting into my politics, I'm really leery of politics getting into my religion. Because if you associate with your God with a particular candidate, which is happening a lot, if you associate your God with a particular candidate and that candidate does something bad, you can't see it as bad because your God is on their side. And if your candidate loses, well, you must not have a very good God, because if your God was good, then your guy would never lose. In which case, ooh, maybe he didn't lose. Cause if God was on his side, it must have been the devil on the other side. Cheating, like, that's incredibly dangerous, both politically but also spiritually. It's dangerous. So I didn't. So that's all a preamble to say. Cause all I do in these podcasts is preamble. I rarely get to the amble.
Becca
It's a preamble cast. Yeah.
Stephen Colbert
I didn't want there to be an American Pope. And then when I heard it was an American Pope and also this guy I'd never heard of, obviously, I was shocked. And then I was really surprised by how moved I was by it that there's gonna be an American Pope now. And then to find out that he's Chicago. I know where I lived 11 years. You're Chicago. I loved it there. I love the people there. It's a fantastic city. It's got everything you'd want from a big city. It's not like New York, where literally it has. Has everything that is in the world is in New York City. If you can't find it in New York City at midnight, it probably is not a thing that exists. Whereas Chicago, it's a world. Is a world city, and New York is the world. Chicago is a world city, but it's also clean. So clean. And the people there are not pretentious. They really understand that they're not New York and we're not Los Angeles.
Becca
Yeah.
Stephen Colbert
They'Re not stuck up. I don't know.
Becca
They're just.
Stephen Colbert
They're kind and lovely, and they know how to make a nice sazich. You know, they know how to make a nice brat. They know how to make a nice beef, and they make a nice sandwich. Okay.
Becca
I think we're on the same page where the Chicago background was really redeeming for me. Cause in the moment, we were all at work. We're all really excited, obviously, about this Conclave and wondering who it's gonna be. There's so much theatrics of how this process goes down, and all of that.
Stephen Colbert
Is content for people who have to write jokes about what's happening on a daily basis. And it's not about the guy down in D.C. totally.
Becca
That's what I mean. It was so exciting that the main part of the show that day was not anything about America, and then suddenly it was a story about America.
Stephen Colbert
I know, but suddenly in a positive way.
Becca
Exactly. No, it was a really interesting rollercoaster of emotions that day while we were all just, like, taped. Our faces taped to the TVs, waiting for that balcony to produce a person. That's quite an image. Yeah. Honestly.
Stephen Colbert
Yeah. So let's go meet Guido.
Becca
Yeah, let's meet Guido. This is Father Guido Sarducci, played by Don Novello on the Late Show.
Stephen Colbert
Welcome back, everybody. Give it up for Louis Cato and the Late Show Band. There you go, Lewis. Folks, as I mentioned before, tomorrow is a big day for all the Pope Stans out there because it's the official start of the conclave. Over 100 cardinals have descended on Vatican City to hunker down until they select our new pope. Even though it has not started yet, we already have some leading contenders. The frontrunners include Cardinal Pietro Parolin, who was Pope Francis second in command, Cardinal Fridolin Mbongo Besongo, who is the Archbishop of Kinshasa, Zaire, Luis Antonio Tagle, the cardinal from the Philippines, and of course, the current Patriarch of Jerusalem, Pierre Batista. Pizzaballa. Pizzabala. Let me just say to the fine folks over at Domino's, if you are not currently developing a ball of pizza delivered by Popemobile, then get out of the pizza game, baby. And while everyone else is just speculating wildly about what will happen, thankfully, we here at the Late show have an inside source. Please welcome senior gossip columnist for the Vatican Enquirer, Father Guido Sarducci. Ciao. Ciao, Padre.
Father Guido Sarducci
Thank you. Please.
Stephen Colbert
Father Sarducci, longtime fan.
Father Guido Sarducci
I know. Thank you.
Stephen Colbert
What an honor to have you here, Father Sarducci. Thank you for joining us. But I'm sorry, Father, you can't smoke on network television.
Father Guido Sarducci
Oh, for action Today.
Stephen Colbert
Well, I mean, I got one here, actually. You can't smoke.
Father Guido Sarducci
You know that's changed the rules. Network tv. You can smoke menthol.
Stephen Colbert
You can smoke. Why menthol?
Father Guido Sarducci
Kennedy just came out and said this. Robert Kennedy Jr. It's got vitamin C in it and it's. It's good for polio.
Stephen Colbert
Really? Kennedy said that it's good for polio.
Father Guido Sarducci
If you have polio or if you don't want to get it, then you smoke. The mental.
Stephen Colbert
You saw the movie Conclave?
Father Guido Sarducci
Yes, I did.
Stephen Colbert
Is it that intriguing? Is the movie Conclave accurate?
Father Guido Sarducci
It's boring. I think it was. You know, and the Conclave.
Stephen Colbert
The movie was boring?
Father Guido Sarducci
Both. Both.
Stephen Colbert
Okay. All right. So what would make it less boring?
Father Guido Sarducci
Well, you know what? I think they should make it animated. If that movie was animated.
Stephen Colbert
If Conclave had been animated.
Father Guido Sarducci
Right. Like the hedgehog movie.
Stephen Colbert
Like Sonic the Hedgehog.
Father Guido Sarducci
Yes, yes. I mean, that. Used to. See how he moves real fast. If the Cardinals would move like that, you know, it could be a half hour shorter. The movie Porco Spiro.
Stephen Colbert
What?
Father Guido Sarducci
Porco Spiro.
Stephen Colbert
What's that?
Father Guido Sarducci
That's what we call hedgehog in Italian. Porco spiro.
Stephen Colbert
Porco Spiro.
Father Guido Sarducci
It's a delicacy.
Stephen Colbert
You eat hedgehogs in Italy?
Father Guido Sarducci
Yes. And they're hard to. They're very expensive because they're hard to shoot, because they move. So you see the movie, it moves so fast.
Stephen Colbert
Real hedgehogs move that fast?
Father Guido Sarducci
They do.
Stephen Colbert
Wow. So how do you. If you're gonna eat them, how do you.
Father Guido Sarducci
Well, they call it chumming. It's a terrible way. It's not chumming. Yes. They go to top of the mountain, put, like, corn on the cob, lima beans, you know, and they feed it. They go away, and then the hedgehogs come out and they eat. The next day they bring them more. Two weeks later, they say they're waiting for them and they could almost touch them. And then they hit them over the head with a baseball bat. That's how it goes.
Stephen Colbert
Really? The Italians.
Father Guido Sarducci
That's not hunting. You call it hunting?
Stephen Colbert
No, I. No, I don't call that. I don't call that hunting. I don't know.
Father Guido Sarducci
And then we.
Stephen Colbert
I didn't know. Wait. I didn't know they played baseball in Italy.
Father Guido Sarducci
Well, they have baseball bats to hit the hogs.
Stephen Colbert
Okay.
Father Guido Sarducci
They don't know. They. For baseball, they just know you get to put the. You know, the penis.
Stephen Colbert
So how do they. How do you cook? How do you cook?
Father Guido Sarducci
What they do is then you pound it and you bread it. Put breading on it, and they call it Porco Spiro Milanese. That's what it's called.
Stephen Colbert
That's a little lemon. They squeeze a little lemon on top of the lemon.
Father Guido Sarducci
The caper. Delicious.
Stephen Colbert
Okay. And then you can. You can order that anywhere in Italy.
Father Guido Sarducci
No, it's homemade mostly, you know.
Stephen Colbert
Okay. Okay. So let's talk about the contenders, like the Papa Billy, the ones who are leading right now.
Father Guido Sarducci
Right.
Stephen Colbert
Is there a front runner? Who do you think has the best chance?
Father Guido Sarducci
Well, there's a number of front runners, but anybody could get it, you know? I mean, really, it happens. In the past, there was a conclave, like 1750s. Everybody knows this story. And there was like months, for months. They would have, you know, 90 ballots. These guys just want to go home, you know, but they can't take anybody, you know, and they're all eating, you know, eating the minestrone soup. And there's this fly comes. Buzz, buzz all around the room, you know, and everybody's looking. And then he lands in this cardinal soup. Cardinal Bastolo, his name is, landed in the soup. And they think it's a miracle he chose him to be Pope.
Stephen Colbert
Wow. That's how it happens sometimes.
Father Guido Sarducci
It's the Holy Spirit. Wow. And then they all sing, you know, he's a jolly good fellow and they make him the Pope.
Stephen Colbert
I didn't know that. Really? In Latin.
Father Guido Sarducci
How jolly fellow in Latin, you know.
Stephen Colbert
Oh, yeah, sure, sure. Felix.
Father Guido Sarducci
Omo, right.
Stephen Colbert
Yeah, yeah. The happy man.
Father Guido Sarducci
Then the next conclave, somebody, one cardinal, he brought his own fly, you know, he thought he's gonna fool him.
Stephen Colbert
Snuck in a fly.
Father Guido Sarducci
He wanted to put his own. What a creep. You know, could put their own. A fly in their own soup.
Stephen Colbert
So who do you think is gonna be the next Pope?
Father Guido Sarducci
Well, I predict. I think it's fixed.
Stephen Colbert
Oh, really? The fixes end?
Father Guido Sarducci
I think so, yes. Benedict XVI is gonna be the Pope again. That's my prediction.
Stephen Colbert
Father Sarducci, Benedict XVI is dead.
Father Guido Sarducci
That's what you think.
Stephen Colbert
He's not dead.
Father Guido Sarducci
It's a rumor. No. You know, it's like Elvis, you know, he's had gone away. They say, you know, conspiracy. He's not. They say he's living.
Stephen Colbert
But we saw his funeral.
Father Guido Sarducci
Yes, but no one has seen him since his funeral.
Stephen Colbert
Okay, so to recap, we believe that Benedict is still alive and he's gonna be Pope again.
Father Guido Sarducci
That's right.
Stephen Colbert
If he becomes Pope again, what will his papal name be?
Father Guido Sarducci
He's going to take the name. They're going to say, habunus un papa.
Stephen Colbert
Yeah.
Father Guido Sarducci
He's going to take the name Benedict XVI II.
Stephen Colbert
Okay. Yeah.
Father Guido Sarducci
I think it's all Benedict 16th squared, maybe?
Stephen Colbert
Squared, Exactly. Well, I mean, once again, Father Saducci, thank you for being here. Thank you. It's an honor to talk to you and to get the insight so on what's happening over there in the Vatican.
Father Guido Sarducci
Thank you.
Stephen Colbert
Before you go. You've been covering the Vatican for decades. You're a beloved figure. Why aren't you a monsignor yet?
Father Guido Sarducci
I don't know. You know, I don't know. It keeps screwing me over, you know, I don't know why you applied. You were what I keep being. They say the next group. Next group.
Stephen Colbert
Yeah.
Father Guido Sarducci
You know, and then they said, you can't have a tattoo.
Stephen Colbert
You have a tattoo.
Father Guido Sarducci
I had it removed. So I should be eligible again.
Stephen Colbert
Do you mind if I ask? What. Can you tell me what the tattoo is?
Father Guido Sarducci
No, no, no. But it's removed.
Stephen Colbert
It's removed. Okay. Can you at least tell me, was it. Was it a religious symbol?
Father Guido Sarducci
Not my religious symbol, but.
Stephen Colbert
Was it a. Was it a Grateful Dead skull?
Father Guido Sarducci
How did you know this? What?
Stephen Colbert
Father Sarducci, thank you so much for being here. Father Guido Sarducci. That's an exclusive. Thank you for listening to the Late Show POD show with Stephen Colbert. Just one more thing. If you want to see more of me, come to The Late Show YouTube channel for more clips and exclusives.
Father Guido Sarducci
Now Play Clock is running.
Stephen Colbert
You will never see a movie like this again. Mission Impossible is a symphony of action, scale and spectacle. Tom Cruise has outdone himself. Mission Impossible, the Final Wreckage now playing ready PG13 experience the champions League final like never before. With me, David Beckham and some of my closest friends. The ultimate watch. Along with the legendary icon, it's PSG and Inter Milan. And I'm giving you the best seat in the house.
Father Guido Sarducci
Extraordinary.
Stephen Colbert
Live inside the stadium with some very special guests.
Becca
You did promise us a lot of A listers.
Stephen Colbert
Who could it be? Stream Beckham Friends live during the UEFA Champions league final, Saturday, May 31st at 3 Eastern, exclusively on Paramount Plus.
The Late Show Pod Show with Stephen Colbert | Release Date: May 27, 2025
The episode begins with Stephen Colbert and producer Becca discussing the unique format of "The Late Show Pod Show." Becca explains that during breaks in the main show, Stephen visits the podcast booth to introduce select content, offering listeners a backstage glimpse into the television production. This setup allows for interactive elements, such as quizzes about upcoming guests.
Notable Quote:
The focal point of the episode is the introduction of Father Guido Sarducci, a beloved character portrayed by Don Novello. Stephen Colbert shares his admiration for Don Novello, highlighting his contributions to "Saturday Night Live" (SNL) and the influence of Novello's work on his own character from "The Colbert Report."
Notable Quotes:
Stephen delves into Don Novello's creative work, specifically "The Laszlo Letters," a series of satirical letters written from the perspective of Lazlo Toth, a fervent patriotic letter writer. Colbert emphasizes the impact of these letters on his own work, noting their subtle influence and hidden references.
Notable Quotes:
Father Guido Sarducci joins the conversation, bringing his signature humor and quirky insights. The dynamic between Stephen and Father Guido is playful, with improvised moments that showcase Sarducci's character depth.
Notable Quotes:
The discussion takes a lighthearted turn as Father Guido Sarducci engages in humorous exchanges about Italian customs, particularly focusing on the fictional delicacy "Porco Spiro Milanese." The banter highlights the comedic chemistry between Stephen and his guest, blending satire with cultural references.
Notable Quotes:
A significant portion of the episode centers on the conclave—the process of selecting a new Pope. Stephen and Father Guido Sarducci discuss the leading contenders, share amusing anecdotes about historical conclaves, and speculate humorously about Benedict XVI's possible return.
Notable Quotes:
The episode concludes with playful teasing about Father Guido Sarducci's aspirations within the church hierarchy and light jokes about tattoos and eligibility for becoming a monsignor. Stephen wraps up the segment by promoting additional content available on "The Late Show" YouTube channel.
Notable Quotes:
This episode is a must-listen for fans seeking a blend of comedy, cultural discussion, and exclusive insights from "The Late Show" team.