Stephen Presents: Frankenstein's Monster's Questionert

Summary

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The Late Show Pod Show with Stephen Colbert

Episode: Stephen Presents: Frankenstein's Monster's Questionnaire
Release Date: December 25, 2025

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Episode Overview

In this festive holiday episode, Stephen Colbert is joined by producer Becca for a special gift to listeners: an exclusive, never-aired segment featuring Brian Stack in full costume as Frankenstein's Monster. The heart of the episode is “The Colbert Questionnaire,” where Colbert unearths the hopes, fears, and sandwich preferences of Frankenstein's Monster in a hilarious, rapid-fire interview. Despite Frankenstein’s traditional ties to Halloween, the segment is presented as a “holiday pod,” a quirky present for the podcast audience.

The tone is playful and improvisational, shifting between behind-the-scenes banter and high-concept character comedy.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

Setting up the Surprise

• Stephen and Becca’s Banter (01:35 – 03:45)
  • Stephen and producer Becca kick off the episode with Christmas well-wishes and tease a fun, “stuffed stocking” surprise for listeners.
  • Becca reveals that the segment didn’t air on TV, making it a unique treat for podcast fans.
  • Behind-the-scenes info: Brian Stack’s Frankenstein character required a special guest chair to protect the upholstery from makeup.
  • Context: The bit was filmed around Halloween, spurred by Guillermo del Toro’s visit and a Frankenstein cold open.

Unwrapping the Gift: “The Colbert Questionnaire”

• Introduction of Frankenstein’s Monster (03:45 – 04:50)
  • Stephen dramatically introduces Frankenstein’s Monster as both a literary icon and misunderstood celebrity with unsolved mysteries.
  • He describes the Colbert Questionnaire as “ergonomically designed to penetrate straight to the heart—or whatever you have in there—of a person, so they’re known.”

Frankenstein’s Monster Takes the Colbert Questionnaire

(Main Segment: 04:50 – 09:14)

Favorite Foods, Firsts, and Fears

• Best Sandwich?
  • Frankenstein’s Monster: “Mmm. Probably a BLT.” (05:00)
    • “I’m pretty basic…toasted’s good.”
• First Concert Attended:
  • “Van Halen with David Lee Roth. … Diver Down.” (05:21 – 05:29)
    • “Great show. I was deaf for three days.” (05:30)
• Scariest Animal:
  • “Shark with a crossbow.” (05:36)
    • Stephen: “Cause even if you’re not in the water, he can get you.” (05:41)

Absurdities and Comic Touches

• Apples or Oranges?
  • “Yeah, oranges give me stomach acid, and it’s hard to find Tums in 19th century Germany.” (05:50)
• Asked for an Autograph?
  • “Yeah, you. … It was a little awkward. We were at a urinal.” (06:05 – 06:13)
    • Stephen, trying to remember: “Vaguely rings a bell.”
  • Invents a back-story about the incident happening at the Latin Grammys, with Colbert in the “Miami Sound Machine.”

Philosophical & Playful

• What happens when we die?
  • “We’re jolted back to life by a mad scientist?” (06:44)
    • “It happens to everybody. … It’ll happen for all of you.” (06:51–06:54)
• Favorite Action Movie:
  • “Yeah, it’s a tie between The Terminator and Toy Story.” (06:59)
    • Stephen: “Toy Story is an action movie?”
    • “A lot of action there—the moving truck, you know.” (07:05)
• Window or Aisle?
  • “Aisle. Yeah. Gotta stretch your legs. When you’re made out of dead people.” (07:17)
• Favorite Smell:
  • “Irish turf. Burning in a fireplace. Oh, yeah. Too bad I’m terrified of fire.” (07:26)
    • Stephen, deadpan: “Fire good, though.” (07:33)
    • Both chant: “Fire good.” (07:35)
• Least Favorite Smell:
  • “Yeah. Me, right now. This is pretty rank.” (07:39)

Existential & Goofy

• Earliest Memory:
  • “That question you just asked me.” (07:45)
    • “So you don’t have any long-term memory is what you’re saying?” (07:52)
    • “My brain is rotting.” (07:54)
• Cats or Dogs?
  • “Dogs. If you look like this, you need unconditional love.” (07:58–08:00)
• One Song for Life:
  • “Honest answer? Astral Weeks by Van Morrison. … If I really want to go with the classical music: Fat Bottom Girls by Queen.” (08:14–08:19)

Absurd Finale

• What number am I thinking of?
  • Becca, off-mic: “Pi.” (08:40)
  • Frankenstein’s Monster: “It was a long shot.” (08:44)
• Describe the rest of your life in five words:
  • “Scrubbing this stupid makeup off.” (09:10)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “Shark with a crossbow. … Cause even if you’re not in the water, he can get you.”
  — Brian Stack as Frankenstein’s Monster & Stephen Colbert, (05:36–05:41)
• “Yeah, oranges give me stomach acid, and it’s hard to find Tums in 19th century Germany.”
  — Brian Stack as Frankenstein’s Monster, (05:50)
• “We’re jolted back to life by a mad scientist? … It happens to everybody.”
  — Brian Stack as Frankenstein’s Monster, (06:44–06:54)
• “If you look like this, you need unconditional love.”
  — Brian Stack as Frankenstein’s Monster, (08:00)
• “Scrubbing this stupid makeup off.”
  — Brian Stack as Frankenstein’s Monster, (09:10)

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Important Segment Timestamps

• Holiday Setup & Surprise Teased: 01:35 – 03:45
• Introduction & Backstory of the Frankenstein Bit: 03:45 – 04:50
• Colbert Questionnaire with Frankenstein’s Monster: 04:50 – 09:14
  • Best sandwich: 05:00
  • Scariest animal: 05:36
  • Oranges vs apples: 05:49
  • Autographs at the urinal: 06:05
  • Favorite action movie: 06:59
  • Favorite smell / "Fire good": 07:26–07:35
  • One song for the rest of life: 08:14
  • Five words for the rest of your life: 09:10

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Conclusion

This holiday episode is a playful blend of behind-the-scenes talk and classic Colbert humor, complete with deadpan quips and zany improvisation. Brian Stack’s Frankenstein’s Monster riffs through an array of memorable “questionnaire” answers that lampoon both the monster’s misunderstood legacy and late-night talk show conventions.

For fans of character comedy, clever callbacks, and surreal holiday gifts, this episode stands out as a delightful, exclusive gem in the Late Show Pod Show archive.

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Transcript

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[Stephen Colbert]

It is Stephen Colbert with my producer Becca. Becca. Hello.

[Becca (Producer)]

Hello.

[Stephen Colbert]

Welcome to what day are we doing?

[Becca (Producer)]

Guess what? It's Christmas. Merry Christmas.

[Stephen Colbert]

Merry Christmas.

[Becca (Producer)]

Merry Christmas.

Oh.

Happy holidays.

[Stephen Colbert]

Good morning.

[Becca (Producer)]

Good morning.

[Stephen Colbert]

That's great. The stockings are hung by the by the chimney with care.

[Becca (Producer)]

Yes.

[Brian Stack as Frankenstein's Monster]

That's great.

[Stephen Colbert]

What do we have stuffed in the stockings for everybody out there on this bright yule?

[Becca (Producer)]

This is a special gift that I want to give the Late show pod show listeners. Can we do guest the guest really quick?

[Masterclass Narrator]

Oh, please.

[Stephen Colbert]

I love this game.

[Becca (Producer)]

Okay, this didn't air on television. It's a web exclusive.

[Stephen Colbert]

But I interviewed this person.

[Becca (Producer)]

Yes. We had to swap out the guest chairs when we taped this for this guest and use a prop chair so that all of their makeup wouldn't ruin the upholstery.

[Stephen Colbert]

Was this Colin Crawford dressed up as Whoop from the Star Wars?

[Becca (Producer)]

No. I don't know about that.

[Stephen Colbert]

It might predate you. Might predate you because he was full. It was blue. It was this blue alien creature.

[Becca (Producer)]

This was green. This was green.

[Stephen Colbert]

A green.

[Becca (Producer)]

And then you asked them what their favorite sandwich was.

[Stephen Colbert]

Oh, my gosh. This is Brian Stack as Frankenstein's monster.

[Becca (Producer)]

Yes. Doing the Colbert questionnaire.

[Stephen Colbert]

And I forgot why, because he was dressed up as Frankenstein's monster for another bit. I said, oh, it would be fun to interview him.

[Becca (Producer)]

Yes.

[Stephen Colbert]

And we just did it for Halloween.

[Becca (Producer)]

The show before Halloween, we rolled in Sir Anthony Hopkins. So the audience didn't have, like, a guest, a live guest.

[Stephen Colbert]

Right. And he had dressed up as Frankenstein for the cold open that we did with Guillermo del Toro.

[Masterclass Narrator]

Yes, yes.

[Stephen Colbert]

Okay, got it.

[Becca (Producer)]

Yes. So we said, come on out. So this is Brian Zak in character as Frankenstein. Not a Christmas themed pod, but a gift.

[Stephen Colbert]

Holiday pod. Yes, absolutely still a holiday pod.

[Becca (Producer)]

And Brian Stacked is a gift to everybody. So. And so are you. Of course.

[Stephen Colbert]

No, please, you don't have to toss me in there. But I am next to Brian Stack. I'm a curmudgeony, old man.

[Becca (Producer)]

No, my God. But you guys have a great time with this bit. So this is Brian Stack as Frankenstein doing the Colbert questionnaire.

[Stephen Colbert]

Welcome back, everybody. Ladies and gentlemen, you know him from Mary Shelley's novel and more than a century's worth of film adaptations and pop culture referen. But do you really know him? Here to take the Colbert questionnaire, please welcome Frankenstein's monster. Well, Frankenstein's monster, so nice to see you again. Thanks for being here. Obviously, longtime fan. But the thing is, as long as we've known you and talked about you and seen the adaptations, especially the new one from Guillermo del Toro, you're amazing in that we don't really know know you. So what we've done here at the Colbert the Late Show. A little brain freeze there. Okay. We have created something called the Colbert Questionnaire that is ergonomically designed to penetrate straight to the heart or whatever you have in there of a person, so they're known. Are you ready to take the Colbert questionnaire?

[Becca (Producer)]

M.

[Stephen Colbert]

Frankenstein's monster. What is the best sandwich?

[Brian Stack as Frankenstein's Monster]

Mmm. Probably a BLT.

[Stephen Colbert]

Classic.

[Brian Stack as Frankenstein's Monster]

Yeah, I'm pretty basic, you know, Pretty basic.

[Stephen Colbert]

Okay. Yeah.

[Brian Stack as Frankenstein's Monster]

Toasted. Yeah, toasted's good. Hey.

[Becca (Producer)]

Okay.

[Stephen Colbert]

All right. What was the first concert you attended?

[Brian Stack as Frankenstein's Monster]

Oh, Van Halen with David Lee Roth.

[Stephen Colbert]

Oh, the original lineup. Women and children first. Like what album?

[Brian Stack as Frankenstein's Monster]

Diver Down.

[Stephen Colbert]

Diver Down.

[Brian Stack as Frankenstein's Monster]

Yeah.

[Stephen Colbert]

Okay, that's pretty cool.

[Brian Stack as Frankenstein's Monster]

Great show. I was deaf for three days.

[Stephen Colbert]

What is the scariest animal?

[Brian Stack as Frankenstein's Monster]

Shark with a crossbow. Right.

[Stephen Colbert]

Cause even if you're not in the water, he can get you. Yeah, I'm not sure if these are one of these, your cup of tea, but apples are oranges.

[Masterclass Narrator]

Apples?

[Brian Stack as Frankenstein's Monster]

Yeah, oranges give me stomach acid, and it's hard to find Tums in 19th century Germany.

[Stephen Colbert]

Hadn't thought about that. Hadn't thought about that. Have you ever asked someone for their autograph?

[Brian Stack as Frankenstein's Monster]

Yeah, you.

[Stephen Colbert]

That's right.

[Brian Stack as Frankenstein's Monster]

Yeah. You probably don't remember. It was a little awkward. We were at a urinal.

[Stephen Colbert]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Brian Stack as Frankenstein's Monster]

My bad, my bad.

[Stephen Colbert]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Vaguely rings a bell. Yeah.

[Brian Stack as Frankenstein's Monster]

What are you doing? Is it the Latin Grammys?

[Stephen Colbert]

Right. And I was there as part of the Miami Sound Machine.

[Brian Stack as Frankenstein's Monster]

Exactly.

[Masterclass Narrator]

Yeah.

[Brian Stack as Frankenstein's Monster]

No one knows that.

[Stephen Colbert]

No. That's how I started my career. In the Miami Sound Machine. Oh, yeah. Rhythm is gonna get you. It is also the villagers.

[Brian Stack as Frankenstein's Monster]

Oh, yeah, yeah. The villagers too.

[Stephen Colbert]

What do you think happens when we die?

[Brian Stack as Frankenstein's Monster]

We're jolted back to life by a mad scientist?

[Stephen Colbert]

No.

[Brian Stack as Frankenstein's Monster]

It happens to everybody.

[Becca (Producer)]

Yep.

[Brian Stack as Frankenstein's Monster]

It'll happen for all of you.

[Stephen Colbert]

Do you have a favorite action movie?

[Brian Stack as Frankenstein's Monster]

Yeah, it's a tie between the Terminator and Toy Story.

[Stephen Colbert]

Toy Story is an action movie.

[Brian Stack as Frankenstein's Monster]

A lot of action there. The moving truck, you know, chasing the moving truck.

[Stephen Colbert]

That's true.

[Brian Stack as Frankenstein's Monster]

I'll die on that hill.

[Stephen Colbert]

Window or aisle?

[Brian Stack as Frankenstein's Monster]

Oh, aisle. Yeah. Gotta stretch your legs. When you're made out of dead people.

[Stephen Colbert]

Do you have a favorite smell?

[Brian Stack as Frankenstein's Monster]

Yeah. Irish turf. Burning in a fireplace. Oh, yeah. Too bad I'm terrified of fire.

[Stephen Colbert]

Fire good, though.

[Brian Stack as Frankenstein's Monster]

It's good, yeah, yeah.

[Stephen Colbert]

Fire good.

[Brian Stack as Frankenstein's Monster]

Yeah. Fire good.

[Stephen Colbert]

Do you have a least favorite smell?

[Brian Stack as Frankenstein's Monster]

Yeah. Me, right now. This is pretty rank.

[Stephen Colbert]

What's your earliest memory?

[Brian Stack as Frankenstein's Monster]

That question you just asked me.

[Stephen Colbert]

So you don't have any long term memory is what you're saying?

[Brian Stack as Frankenstein's Monster]

My brain is rotting.

[Stephen Colbert]

Cats or dogs?

[Brian Stack as Frankenstein's Monster]

Oh, dogs.

[Stephen Colbert]

Yeah.

[Brian Stack as Frankenstein's Monster]

If you look like this, you need unconditional love.

[Stephen Colbert]

You only get one song to listen to for the rest of your life. What is it? You don't have to listen to it continually, but when you go to listen to music, this is the song you get to hear. Ooh, tough call.

[Brian Stack as Frankenstein's Monster]

Honest answer.

[Stephen Colbert]

Yeah.

[Brian Stack as Frankenstein's Monster]

Astro Weeks by Van Morrison.

[Stephen Colbert]

Whole album or just the song?

[Brian Stack as Frankenstein's Monster]

The whole album's great, but if I really want to go with the classical music. Fat Bottom Girls by Queen. That kind of class never goes out of style.

[Stephen Colbert]

What number am I thinking of?

[Becca (Producer)]

Pie.

[Stephen Colbert]

No, no, no, no.

[Brian Stack as Frankenstein's Monster]

It was a long shot.

[Stephen Colbert]

Yeah.

[Brian Stack as Frankenstein's Monster]

Six, seven. Oh, God, I can't believe I bl.

[Stephen Colbert]

Describe the rest of your life in five words.

[Brian Stack as Frankenstein's Monster]

Scrubbing this stupid makeup off.

[Stephen Colbert]

Frankenstein, thank you so much for being here. Always a pleasure. Happy Halloween.

[Becca (Producer)]

You too.

[Stephen Colbert]

Frankenstein's monster, everybody. Thank you for listening to the Late Show Pod show with Stephen Colbert. Just one more thing. If you want to see more of me, come to the late show you YouTube channel for more clips and exclusives. Hey Ryan Reynolds here wishing you a very happy half off holiday because right now Mint Mobile is offering you the gift of 50% off unlimited. To be clear, that's half price, not half the service. Mint is still premium unlimited wireless for a great price. So that means a half day. Yeah, give it a [e-mail] Switch upfront.

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