Stephen Presents: Jeff Daniels' Colbert Questionert

Summary

The Late Show Pod Show with Stephen Colbert

Episode: Stephen Presents: Jeff Daniels’ Colbert Questionert
Date: March 25, 2026
Main Theme:
This episode features Stephen Colbert engaging actor Jeff Daniels in the renowned "Colbert Questionert" segment, a series of offbeat, soul-probing questions designed to reveal the guest’s truest self. The episode is peppered with humorous banter, personal anecdotes, and moments of genuine reflection, both from Colbert and Daniels, making for a light-hearted, conversationally rich interview.

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Episode Summary

Opening and Springtime Banter (01:05–03:36)

• Stephen Colbert and Becca begin with lighthearted talk about the slow approach of spring, neighborhood walks, and the physical toll of winter ("winter hunch/haunch").
• They riff on the emergence of tulips and daffodils in New York City, contrasting harsh city environments with the promise of renewal.
• (02:18) Becca introduces a game called “Guess the Jeff,” referencing recurring guests named Jeff on the show.
• Humorous guesswork leads swiftly to the focus on Jeff Daniels.

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The Legendary Sandwich & Pita Story (03:36–17:28)

Jeff Daniels’ Viral Sandwich (03:36–04:00)

• Becca recalls how Daniels’ answer to the “best sandwich” question (“pita, thick peanut butter, chips, barbecue sauce”) went viral.
• The hosts debate the practicality—and density—of the sandwich, with Colbert noting, “I also think you need a really high quality pita.” (03:44)

Stephen Colbert’s Baghdad Pita Story (04:02–17:18)

• Colbert tells a detailed, emotional story of filming The Colbert Report for troops in Baghdad:
  • They went through immense logistical pressure and months of preparation ("We got a lot of no’s until we got a yes." - 04:03).
  • Describes the stress and emotional toll of performing in a former Saddam Hussein palace, packed with history and unease.
  • “You could feel the darkness in the building. It was like being in the Overlook Hotel.” (08:28)
• After the harrowing week, Colbert describes another pita memory: decompressing in Kuwait with fresh, warm pita and Diet Coke—"it absolutely leveled me out like a Klonopin." (09:57)
• Anecdotes about smuggling vodka, “jooz” (orange juice), and heart-pounding stress follow, blending humor with vivid recollections.

Homemade Pita & Cooking Talk (12:30–17:18)

• Discussion veers into making homemade pita (credits to colleague Mai Alani) and the superiority of fresh vs. store-bought pita.
• Colbert shares experiences with illegal, restaurant-grade stoves and high-heat cooking ("You could watch a pot of water boil." - 15:44).

Memorable moment:
“Welcome to The Splendid Table. I’m Stephen. This is Becca.” – Colbert, joking about the digression into home cooking advice (13:32)

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Colbert & Daniels’ Friendship (17:18–18:44)

• Colbert reflects on his warm connection with Daniels:
  • "He was the first star who came on." (17:18)
  • Jeff Daniels was the second (after a sportswriter) guest Colbert ever interviewed in test shows for The Colbert Report.

Transition to "Colbert Questionert" (17:44–18:44)

• Colbert sets the stage for the Questionert, noting its reputation as a “heat-seeking missile to the soul.”

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The Colbert Questionert with Jeff Daniels (18:44–32:34)

1. Best Sandwich (19:02)

• Daniels: "Pita bread... quarter-inch of creamy peanut butter... ruffles cheddar and sour cream potato chips... barbecue sauce... fold it over, boom."
• Colbert: “You’re either eating that in a poncho or naked. That is dangerous.” (20:29)

2. First Concert (20:39)

• Daniels: Arlo Guthrie at Detroit’s Masonic Temple (age 15, went with parents).
  • “And down the row comes a joint the size of a cigar coming toward my father…” (21:27)

3. Scariest Animal (22:04)

• Daniels: "What is the name of the animal on top of Trump's head?" (22:10)

4. Apples or Oranges? (22:30)

• Daniels: Apples. Eats the whole apple, including seeds.
• Colbert: “They have arsenic, don’t they?” (22:40)
• Daniels: “I’m still here—for now.” (22:43)

5. Ever Asked for an Autograph? (23:08)

• Daniels: Childhood hero Al Kaline (Detroit Tigers), at a supermarket signing.
  • "Later on I met him. He was... very gracious with people who came to him, and he certainly was to me." (23:54)

6. What Happens When We Die? (24:05)

• Daniels: Imagines the afterlife is like Joel Osteen’s megachurch: “but bigger... has to hold basically everyone who’s ever died.” (24:29)
• Colbert: "Reserved seating is an issue.” (24:37)

7. Favorite Action Movie? (25:11)

• Daniels: "Speed" (which he starred in).
  • Vividly details acting in an explosion scene: “How do you act that? ... I just dropped my cheek muscles. That’s all I did.” (26:15)

8. Favorite Smell? (26:43)

• Daniels: "The inside of a Martin guitar... You can smell the factory… 52 people have had their hands on each one of the woods.”
• Colbert: “There you go.” (27:07)

9. Least Favorite Smell? (27:25)

• Daniels: “Someone else’s vomit.” (27:27)
• Colbert: “That would be a good name for a memoir.” (27:33)

10. Earliest Memory (27:38)

• Daniels: Learning JFK was shot; “the look on (teacher) Mrs. Madsen’s face…” (28:14)

11. Cats or Dogs? (28:30)

• Daniels: Dogs—shares moving story of a “drop-off” rescue chow-shepherd named Fred.
  • “If he were a human being, he’d have been a hitman…” (29:21)

12. One Song for Rest of Life (29:33)

• Daniels: “Levon” by Elton John. Remembers first hearing it in his dad’s Ford Pinto in 1971.
• Colbert: Shares Pinto story: “You got ripped off.” (31:05)

13. What Number Am I Thinking Of? (31:05)

• Daniels: “6000, 212… 6,213.”
• Colbert: “Warmer.”

14. Rest of Your Life in Five Words (32:18)

• Daniels: “Anybody want to listen to Levon?”

Colbert: “Congratulations, Jeff. You are known.” (32:31)

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Notable Quotes and Memorable Moments

• Stephen Colbert on stress:
  “All that cortisol just got released that I wouldn’t allow my body to have... all came out at once.” (12:00)

• Jeff Daniels on signature sandwich:
  "Peanut butter, that brand of potato chips, and the barbecue. It's like visiting three countries at once. And they're all in your mouth.” (20:10)

• On afterlife seating:

  • “You don’t want to be sitting next to an [expletive] for eternity.” – Daniels (24:37)

• On family:

  • “If he were a human being, he’d have been a hitman, because he would sit out in the driveway… 'You want me to take him out?'” – Daniels on his dog Fred (29:21)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

| Segment | Timestamp | |---------------------------------------|-------------| | Guess the Jeff, intro to Daniels | 02:18–03:36 | | Viral sandwich discussion | 03:36–04:00 | | Colbert’s Baghdad pita story | 04:02–17:18 | | Homemade pita & cooking reminiscence | 12:30–17:18 | | Colbert/Daniels friendship reflection | 17:18–18:44 | | Colbert Questionert begins | 18:44 | | Best Sandwich answer | 19:02 | | First concert | 20:39 | | Scariest animal | 22:04 | | Apples or Oranges | 22:30 | | Autograph story | 23:08 | | On death/afterlife | 24:05 | | Favorite action movie | 25:11 | | Favorite/least favorite smell | 26:43/27:25 | | Earliest memory | 27:38 | | Cats or dogs | 28:30 | | “Levon”/One song forever | 29:33 | | “What number am I thinking of” | 31:05 | | Rest of your life in five words | 32:18 | | Closing: “You are known” | 32:31 |

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Tone & Style

• Warm, playful, and self-deprecating—brimming with dry humor, affection, and digressions.
• Blends personal storytelling with classic talk-show banter, creating a comfortable, occasionally vulnerable atmosphere.

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For First-Time Listeners

This episode is quintessential late-night Stephen – informal, intimate, and witty – with a standout segment featuring Jeff Daniels’ extraordinary sandwich, moving war zone stories, and the revealing, delightful “Colbert Questionert.” Whether you’re a Daniels fan, a sandwich adventurist, or just want laughs and insight, this episode delivers warmth and a few genuinely touching moments.

Transcript

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[Stephen Colbert]

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[Becca]

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[Stephen Colbert]

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[Becca]

Habla sepanol.

[Stephen Colbert]

Parle italiano.

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[Stephen Colbert]

Becca. Steven, look at you there in the booth with me here. We are doing a podcast intro.

[Becca]

It's springtime. Spring break on the podcast.

[Stephen Colbert]

You know what? Spring is taking her own damn time getting here. But, oh, just a little. Just a wind over the deck.

[Becca]

Yeah.

[Stephen Colbert]

Just makes all the difference in the world. Wintertime is like this sense of being punished all the time.

[Becca]

Yeah, yeah.

[Stephen Colbert]

And just to be able to go outside. Just last time I just walked around the neighborhood.

[Becca]

Yeah.

[Stephen Colbert]

I was a new man.

[Becca]

And your muscles relax a bit. You know, the haunch, the. The winter haunch of. Oh, no, it's cold. Relaxes in the shower.

[Stephen Colbert]

I think you mean the hunch.

[Becca]

Yeah, yeah, the hunch.

[Stephen Colbert]

The haunch is down here. The hunch. My winter. I have to take care of my winter haunch, too. Lay off some of the cheese.

[Becca]

Yeah, no, I. I g o l' ed this morning, which is what I say for gasps out loud. Because I gasp out loud. Because in the meridian on Broadway, right outside the theater. Little bit of a tulip coming up. Little bit of that green tube coming up.

[Stephen Colbert]

Could be a daff.

[Becca]

I think it could be a daff. It could be a daff.

[Stephen Colbert]

Yeah. Crocus.

[Becca]

Yeah, we'll see. I mean, the daffodils are the first to come in New York. And if they can survive in front of the construction site on Broadway.

[Stephen Colbert]

Unbelievable.

[Becca]

Spring is going to be great. You know what I mean? But, yeah, it's springtime here. I got another questionnaire for you, Steven.

[Stephen Colbert]

Go ahead.

[Jeff Daniels]

Me?

[Becca]

I'm going to make you guess the Jeff. We play guess the guest a lot, but I'm already giving you a Guess the Jeff. Guess the Jeff. We've had a lot of Jeffs on this show. Why don't we name some Jeffs that we've had?

[Stephen Colbert]

Oh, Jeff Bridges, Jeff Daniels. Jeff Goldblum.

[Becca]

Jeff Tweedy.

[Stephen Colbert]

Oh, love My Tweety.

[Becca]

Jeff Tweedy. Jeff Flake.

[Babbel/Range Rover Ad Voice]

Wow.

[Stephen Colbert]

Just recently had Jeff Flake. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, so how are we playing guess the Jeff? I've never played it before.

[Becca]

This. This Jeff had a. We posted his questionnaire online, and his answer for best sandwich went extremely viral.

[Stephen Colbert]

Jeff Daniels.

[Becca]

Yes. Yes.

[Jeff Daniels]

There you go.

[Becca]

Do you remember the sandwich?

[Stephen Colbert]

I do. It's pita with, like, a quarter inch of peanut butter.

[Becca]

Yeah.

[Stephen Colbert]

Lot of peanut butter, crushed up. Sour cream and onion, potato chips and cheddar chips. Oh, sour cream and cheddar. It was sour cream. It was onion and cheddar. Right? Sour cream, onion, and cheddar. Or something like that.

[Becca]

Something like that.

[Stephen Colbert]

And then a barbecue sauce of your choice gushed on top. And then manja, baby. And what. I don't. Yeah, I hear this took off. I hear this became a thing. Like, people started making it.

[Becca]

A lot of people.

[Stephen Colbert]

Because they couldn't believe it. And then the word was not bad.

[Becca]

Yeah, we should have one. I'm sorry, y'.

[Jeff Daniels]

All.

[Becca]

I'll make one for next time.

[Stephen Colbert]

That's all right.

[Becca]

I'm a little afraid to have one. I think generally that amount of peanut butter isn't a great idea for podcasting.

[Stephen Colbert]

Yeah. Yeah. I also think you'd need a really high quality pita.

[Becca]

Yeah.

[Stephen Colbert]

Because like, your basic grocery store pita A doesn't fold very well because it's too old. But like a fresh pita.

[Becca]

Yeah, you need a good pita.

[Stephen Colbert]

Greatest pita of my life. You wanna hear the greatest pita?

[Becca]

Yeah.

[Stephen Colbert]

Obviously, everybody's got their. This was my greatest pita story.

[Becca]

Yeah, please.

[Stephen Colbert]

But my greatest pita story was we had done a week of shows in Baghdad from the Al Faw palace at Camp victory for the USO. It was in 2009, and it was. There was a lot of pressure just to get it approved to go. And I don't even mean that so much from our end. It was from the Pentagon's end, which it turned out we got a lot of no's. We got a lows until we got a yes. And then we had to rope in some big sponsorship to try to pay for everything. And then we took 30 of us, 35 of us over there, went to go do the show and. And kind of didn't sleep for six days because there was just too much to do. And we were producing a television show essentially on an Apple laptop. Honest to God. I think the whole show, I think it ran through. There were cameras there which we sourced locally or through Kuwait. We had a fixer who used to always say, it can be done. That was his thing. It can be done. And then if he said, this cannot be done. And then. And there was. There was. I forgot there was something we needed. And we said. And he said, this cannot be done. And we said, no, we're going to do it. You don't understand who you're dealing with here. Like, it's been like nine months of us work to get here. The thing that we need you to do. And I can't remember what it was. It was something about the set or something like that. No, it must. It must happen.

[Becca]

Yeah.

[Stephen Colbert]

And then he goes, it cannot be done. And then somehow we got it done. And he goes, it was done. You know, I felt like Lawrence of Arabia saying, like, no, you know, nothing is written, Khalil, it will happen. And it was an incredibly intense. And it was at night, a 10:30 night. It'd be 124 degrees.

[Becca]

Oh, my God.

[Stephen Colbert]

And then there'd be these sandstorms from the gate. Now, keep in mind, these are troops who are going out there in full battle rattle over the water because things were still hairy back then. And we're just clowns coming in. And I just couldn't imagine being in country for all the time that people are there. Loveliest people. Just met the loveliest people there and had a great time, but didn't sleep because we were so nervous about getting it right. Being able to do our comedy, being sensitive to the situation that they're in, but still being satirical about then, which was the vagueness back then. This is in 2009. When will we be able to say we won? Because everybody knew it was time to go, but you couldn't go without declaring victory. And what we said in the first word that we did there was, hey, it's not camp. Let's wait and see. It's Camp Victory. I'm calling it. So I declared victory. And everybody just like, from now on, just Pentagon, just start calling guys back. We're all good.

[Becca]

Yeah.

[Stephen Colbert]

Okay.

[Becca]

Yeah.

[Stephen Colbert]

And so again, a week of that. Six days. Seven days of that. I think seven days there, but six days. Like six days, seven nights, if you know what I mean. And not a package. I would book again. And we didn't sleep at all. And it was the last day, I guess.

[Becca]

What was the story about the best PETA.

[Stephen Colbert]

Oh, so we had because. Okay, so we got through the whole thing. Just, we all did it all on adrenaline. We got through the whole thing. Get on a C17 to fly out. Combat, you know, take off combat landing, you know, get a Kuwait. And that night we're all having dinner at this place down by the water in Kuwait City. And I am super. I am mega wrecked.

[Becca]

Yeah.

[Stephen Colbert]

Okay.

[Becca]

Yeah.

[Stephen Colbert]

And I'm not gonna throw up any minute.

[Becca]

Yeah.

[Stephen Colbert]

And I. And I have to give up. I give a toast. I cry through the whole thing. You know me, Becca.

[Becca]

Yeah.

[Stephen Colbert]

Yeah, I cry.

[Becca]

Yeah, I cry. I sent them all a guy.

[Stephen Colbert]

I cry all the time.

[Becca]

You let it all out the table.

[Stephen Colbert]

I could barely get through this toast of what I knew what everybody had done, including our USO people, you know, and our fixer and everything. They were all there to say, like, thank you for everything you did to make this possible. Greatest experience of our professional lives, to be able to do this. And like, looking at those soldiers and airmen and marines out there in the audience every night, 400 every night was the most beautiful thing. To be able to provide just some lightness and some. At the time, America was. We were in the middle of the banking crisis. No one even thought about the war.

[Becca]

Yeah.

[Stephen Colbert]

They were just happy that somebody went over there and said, hey, we know you're here and we're gonna remind everybody back there that you're here. And it was joyful, really joyful in that dark, dark room because it was Saddam's palace. Like, this was a terrible, terrible, terrible things happened. Where our stage was, was where the bodies would hit. When they would take them up, there was a four floor atrium and with tall ceilings. Four floor atrium. And so it was this enormous. Was like the inside of a cathedral. And there was the elevator of death, they called it, that they would take. He would take guys up the elevator and then they would take them out of the balcony and throw them off. And where my stage was, where my desk was, was where they would land. And you could feel the darkness in the building. Yeah, really. It was like being in the Overlook Hotel the whole time you were there and there were like thrones around. And anyway, so we're at this dinner, and I'm gonna throw up. I'm gonna throw up any minute. And I'm sitting with Matt Lapin and John Harrison and Mark McKenna. I think those are the guys at my table. Oh, nice, Harrison. Camera two. Now, back then, he was camera one, I think, back in the day. And then Mark is my stage manager, and Matt Lapin does everything.

[Jeff Daniels]

Does everything, does everything.

[Stephen Colbert]

And they said, hey, man, just let's get you some pita. So they just got me some pita and a Diet Coke.

[Becca]

Oh.

[Stephen Colbert]

And I sat there and I ate this fresh pita. Fresh, warm pita. And drank a Diet Coke. And it absolutely leveled me out like a Klonopin. Like, it was absolutely the best feeling. And then somebody, and I don't want to say who, because I don't want to get anybody in trouble, but somebody came up to me and said, in this bag is a bottle of vodka. Okay. And you did not get it from me because, like, vodka here is like marijuana in the United States. Like, it's illegal. This is before legalization.

[Becca]

Yeah.

[Stephen Colbert]

And he goes, it's a small bottle. I got it wrapped in a bag. In a bag, In a bag. And there are other things in the bag, too, that look like souvenirs, but if you want to, you know, you'll enjoy a cocktail, which is like this.

[Becca]

Yeah.

[Stephen Colbert]

So my then co exec was with me, and I know she enjoyed a cocktail. So we hadn't had a chance to talk, and she had done a. She. She had done a lot of the planning of this on her own back. And I. And I was like, hey, come on, let's go have a cocktail. So I take her back to my hotel room, which I think was illegal in Kuwait.

[Becca]

Whoa.

[Stephen Colbert]

Okay.

[Becca]

Yeah.

[Stephen Colbert]

And go back to my hotel room. And they got some orange juice in the little mini fridge there.

[Becca]

Sure. Yes.

[Stephen Colbert]

And the orange. The brand of orange juice. J O O Z jooz awesome.

[Becca]

Awesome.

[Stephen Colbert]

And it was a big picture. Picture of, like, you know, Valencia orange. And she said juz with like an exclamation mark across it. So we had some vodka and juz. And so, like, I found like a. Like a wine opener. Like, just punch a hole in the cardboard box of this thing. And then I just. We got no ice, just the cold juice and some vodka. And I have a little sip like this. And we're sitting there reviewing the week. We're going over it like that. And the. And the pito starts to wear off. And I suddenly, I feel terrible. And then I start my heart Starts killing me. Like, my chest starts killing me. I start grabbing my heart, going, oh. Oh, my heart. Oh, God, what's happening to me? It was just all this stress, like, all the. All that cortisol just got released that I wouldn't allow my body to have all came out at once. She stood up. She goes, you cannot have a heart attack with me in your hotel room. You need to stop this right now. I'm like, I don't know what to do. I don't. Yeah.

[Becca]

Oh, no.

[Stephen Colbert]

So anyway, that's my PETA story.

[Becca]

Oh, my God.

[Stephen Colbert]

Anyway, wow.

[Becca]

Wow. That was a journey. That was a journey to the PETA.

[Stephen Colbert]

Yeah.

[Becca]

PETA's actually, you know, who makes a killer pita in this very office? Mai Alani. Oh.

[Stephen Colbert]

She makes fresh pita.

[Becca]

Makes homemade pita. Because I complained to her about this once where I was like, you know, I'm trying to make a shawarma at home or something, trying to make a nice little sandwich. But the grocery store pitas, they're trash. You know, they're, like, flowery, and they're cold and whatever. She's like, oh, you just gotta make them fresh. Like, I make them fresh all the time.

[Stephen Colbert]

Yeah.

[Becca]

And every time I've gone to her house, basically, in the last four years, there's fresh pita around. Cause she makes you. She throws a party with PETA related

[Stephen Colbert]

in shape, but I don't know about. In difficulty. Cause I've never made pita. Is that, hey, folks, make your own tortillas.

[Becca]

Yeah.

[Stephen Colbert]

It's super simple. And the difference. And the difference is there's no comparison to any pita you're gonna get. Even if you like. You warm up the pitas you get at the grocery store. No.

[Becca]

Yeah. Or the tortillas just.

[Stephen Colbert]

You mix, like, three ingredients together with a pinch of salt and then let it sit for a bit, and you roll it out, and it's the greatest.

[Becca]

You do flour or you do corn?

[Stephen Colbert]

I've done both.

[Becca]

Cool. So no press? Not a press.

[Stephen Colbert]

No. I just roll it because it doesn't have spring. It doesn't really have that much spring because you're not making a leavened dough. So there's not a lot of gluten development. Welcome to the splendid table. I'm Stephen. This is Becca. No. And so it's super easy to roll out.

[Becca]

Yeah, pitas are easy. You just have to have a lot of space in your kitchen.

[Stephen Colbert]

Cause there's gonna be flour and.

[Becca]

Well, no, they just all have to. The pockets have to inflate all on their own, as their own little pods. So it's not just like one giant bowl of stuff that rises. They all have to rise as their own penis shape.

[Stephen Colbert]

Oh, I see.

[Becca]

You know what I mean?

[Stephen Colbert]

Oh, really? So you don't tear off a bit and roll it and put it out. It's rising as it's, as it's future shape.

[Becca]

I think that initially you do that, but then additionally you need to let it rise as its own shape. But then they're in the oven for just like a couple minutes each. You just throw them in, throw them out.

[Stephen Colbert]

It's really high, like 5, 550 high.

[Becca]

And like on the back of a baking sheet to get like a stone.

[Stephen Colbert]

You've already preheated. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I've never gotten into having a stone. I've never had a stone.

[Becca]

Yeah, yeah.

[Stephen Colbert]

Seems like. Where do you put it? Where do you put it when you're not using it? Where do you put it? You can put it on the counter. Like it's a lazy Susan or something like that.

[Becca]

My old roommate, we had like an old, old, like New York oven that like you lit a match and put it in a hole kind of oven, you know, like real fire, fire oven. And so we would put it on the very bottom. Cause that oven got hot. Got real hot. Old timey gas oven without the like restrictions. We had a stone there and I made some killer ramp pizzas with that.

[Stephen Colbert]

Ramp. Ramp season's coming.

[Becca]

Ramp season's coming. Alright. Gotta ramp up. Okay.

[Stephen Colbert]

Wow. I love like old stoves that didn't have safety features on them. We had, when we first, at our first house, we had a stove. The person who had lived there before was such a so dedicated to cooking that they had a restaurant stove.

[Becca]

Oh, cool.

[Stephen Colbert]

And with a tiny little hood above it. And I'm sure it was super illegal and incredibly dangerous, but it was also way deeper than the counter. And it didn't have a finished edge. It just had like a sharp edge. It was terrible. We had to put foam around the edges for our kids so they wouldn't poke their damn eyes out coming around a corner. But you could watch a pot of water boil.

[Becca]

Whoa.

[Stephen Colbert]

You could put it like, you could put it on there and you'd crank it up and it would be. It was like, you know, it was Gordon Ramsay kind of heat when we moved and, you know, we did some work on a kitchen and I'm like, I want that. Like, you can't legally have that. I'm like, what? And we'd already, like sold it with the house. I'm like, no, no, I want this. And they're like, nope. Oh, man, you can't have that. That is. Whoever did that, that was super illegal.

[Becca]

But it's nice to have.

[Stephen Colbert]

Oh, my God. And the oven would get 800 degrees. It was ridiculous.

[Becca]

Yeah, but it's so dangerous to come out beautifully, I bet. Yeah. Yeah.

[Stephen Colbert]

Well, that was my pre sour nowadays.

[Becca]

Yeah. Yeah. Well, all right, well, that's a lot of oven talk and a lot of PETA memories for this pod.

[Stephen Colbert]

We're never gonna get through this.

[Becca]

Well, this was Jeff.

[Stephen Colbert]

I wonder how much of this is gonna make it into the final edit.

[Becca]

I think it should all stay. I don't think it's the producer. Yeah, I want it all.

[Stephen Colbert]

I just work here.

[Becca]

Yeah. Okay, great. All right, well, this is Jeff Daniels taking the questionnaire.

[Stephen Colbert]

The best. I hope I get a chance to talk to him again before this is all over.

[Becca]

I hope you do too. Yeah, he's a good buddy.

[Stephen Colbert]

He was the second person I ever interviewed at the Colbert.

[Becca]

Really?

[Stephen Colbert]

Yeah. Mitch. Not there was some sports writer, was the first person within the test shows. It was before we ever went. We did four test shows and the first guy was a sportswriter. I can't remember his name. He was a good sports writer. I really enjoyed talking to him. But the second guy I spoke to was Jeff Daniels and it went really well. And then we ran it as one of the interviews the second week because we were. I mean, our first full week because like three days in we were toast. Yeah, we were like, what are we doing? Oh, we're never gonna be able to sustain this. All the reviews are right. There's no way to do this for more than nine and a half years.

[Becca]

And.

[Stephen Colbert]

And then. So. But anyway, I have a real warm spot in my heart for. I mean, for many reasons for Mr. Daniels, but one of them is he was the first star who came on.

[Becca]

Yeah. And it's a lovely questionnaire. You guys have a great conversation. He's a very down to earth seeming guy. Love it.

[Stephen Colbert]

Michigan, Michigander.

[Becca]

Oh, we love a Midwesterner. All right, well, this is Jeff Daniels on the Colbert questionnaire.

[Stephen Colbert]

Hello, friends. Welcome back to tonight's continuing broadcast. You. This gentleman here, it's Jeff Daniels. You know him, you love him. Here's the thing, Jeff, I always like talking to you. We've talked to each other like 10, 11 times at this point between the two shows. It's always fun to talk to you, but, you know, we've said like, hey, let's go together with our wives and have dinner. We never have ended up doing that as much as we want to. And that's really, you know, I'd love to get to the meat of Jeff Daniels to really know what makes you tick. And even the long, lovely interviews we've had never really quite penetrate the armor that we all build against the world. The face that we prepare for, the faces that we meet. And I was hoping that today we could peel off the mask of Jeff Daniels and see who the real man is by using something called the Colbert questionnaire. The Colbert questionnaire has been clinically tested to act like a heat seeking missile to the soul of a human being and reveal them to the world. Are you ready to be known?

[Jeff Daniels]

You had me at meat.

[Stephen Colbert]

All right, Jeff Daniels, this is the Colbert questionnaire. First question. Jeff Daniels, what is the best sandwich?

[Jeff Daniels]

I'm gonna go with a personal favorite, which is pita bread. You need some creamy peanut butter.

[Stephen Colbert]

Wow, you threw me there.

[Jeff Daniels]

Now pita bread, those circular things. Right, right. We'll air pocket in if you want, but don't we, don't we?

[Stephen Colbert]

Aren't we don't pocket this one?

[Jeff Daniels]

No, we put the quarter inch. A quarter inch.

[Stephen Colbert]

A quarter inch of peanut butter.

[Jeff Daniels]

Of creamy peanut butter.

[Stephen Colbert]

So you've got no other plans for the rest of the day at this point?

[Jeff Daniels]

No, no. And you're only doing half of it. And then you're getting ruffles, cheddar, and sour cream potato chips, and you're getting a handful of them and you're crunching them up and then you're sprinkling them on the peanut butter. Then you're getting your favorite brand of barbecue sauce. That's right.

[Stephen Colbert]

We talking. Casey? Masterpiece. What are we doing?

[Jeff Daniels]

Sweet baby James is preferred.

[Stephen Colbert]

Okay, and that one is.

[Jeff Daniels]

Yeah, I think this was.

[Stephen Colbert]

Is that put up by James Taylor?

[Jeff Daniels]

It's not. It's no, but they owe him money. But the peanut butter, the ruffles potato chips, and the barbecue, fold it over, boom. And yeah, it's my three, could be my three favorite tastes. Peanut butter, that brand of potato chips, and the barbecue. It's like visiting three countries at once. And they're all in your mouth.

[Stephen Colbert]

You're either eating that in a poncho or naked. I'm not sure. That is dangerous.

[Jeff Daniels]

Yeah, it's fun to eat in front of other people too, because.

[Stephen Colbert]

Jeff Daniels, what was your first concert?

[Jeff Daniels]

Arlo Guthrie at the Masonic Temple in Detroit, Michigan. I was, yeah. Love arlo. I was 15, didn't drive. Dad, mom, could we go see Arlo Guthrie at the. I don't know who that is, but, Marge, what do you. Let's go. Well, we'll take you down there.

[Stephen Colbert]

Wow.

[Jeff Daniels]

Yeah.

[Stephen Colbert]

Wow.

[Jeff Daniels]

So we go down there.

[Stephen Colbert]

Restaurants, city of New Orleans.

[Jeff Daniels]

Yeah. And early 70s Woodstock. You can still smell the marijuana from Woodstock we got into there. And I couldn't. It was Arlo Guthrie, but I couldn't see him for all the marijuana smoke.

[Stephen Colbert]

Wow.

[Jeff Daniels]

It was like the fog of London.

[Stephen Colbert]

Wow.

[Jeff Daniels]

So. And I got my parents.

[Stephen Colbert]

Sure.

[Jeff Daniels]

And down the row comes a joint the size of a cigar coming down towards my father, who was looking at it, going, well, I was in the Navy. I might be in it. And my mom. My mom is just. She's trying not. And she actually succeeded. She didn't breathe for two hours. I'm, like, right next to him. I'm all about it. But my dad said, thank you, but no, and then passed it.

[Stephen Colbert]

Gentlemen.

[Jeff Daniels]

Yep.

[Stephen Colbert]

What is the scariest animal?

[Jeff Daniels]

What is. What is the name of the animal on top of Trump's head?

[Stephen Colbert]

Moving on. Apples or oranges?

[Jeff Daniels]

Apples.

[Stephen Colbert]

And I eat the whole apple, including the seeds.

[Jeff Daniels]

Mm.

[Stephen Colbert]

They have arsenic, don't they? Or cyanide or something in them.

[Jeff Daniels]

I'm still here for now. Yeah. Again, that's fun to do in front of other people who don't eat the whole apple. Just kind. It's fun to do at parties.

[Stephen Colbert]

It is noted that you have an interesting sense of fun.

[Jeff Daniels]

It's true.

[Stephen Colbert]

Have you ever asked someone for their autograph?

[Jeff Daniels]

Al Kaline was a Detroit Tigers right fielder. He was my childhood hero, and I had about five or six movies at the time. I was in Michigan, and he had an autograph signing at some supermarket or something, and I went and I stood in line. Do you still have it with my. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I got to meet him later, which was even better. I mean, classy, classy, classy. But stood in line with all the other guys with their baseballs and their, you know, mitt and. 10 bucks. 10 bucks. Thank you. Thank you, Mr. Kaline. You're welcome. Boom. Next guy. But later on I met him. He was just. I mean, his ability to handle the fame and of his career and to kind of accept it and know that a lot of what he's getting is because it's about them versus, you know, me, me, me, me, me. And he was very gracious with people who came to him, and he certainly was to me.

[Stephen Colbert]

What do you think happens when we die?

[Jeff Daniels]

I just got to believe that it's pretty much exactly like Joel Olsteen's megachurch.

[Stephen Colbert]

I think that's a lot of blue carpet.

[Jeff Daniels]

Well, I mean, he seems to know God. He's like, telling us that he's there.

[Stephen Colbert]

Yeah, the priesthood.

[Jeff Daniels]

I just think it's a megachurch, but it's bigger. It's just bigger. Cause it has to hold basically everyone who's ever died.

[Stephen Colbert]

Oh, that's true.

[Jeff Daniels]

So where you're, you know, the reserved seating is an issue. You don't want to be sitting next to an for eternity. But I'm gonna go.

[Stephen Colbert]

You don't. You don't, do you?

[Jeff Daniels]

No, you don't. It just seems like a.

[Stephen Colbert]

Because you have to be nice about it.

[Jeff Daniels]

Yeah. And you can only get. You can only get up and go to the cappuccino so many times, you know, get the.

[Stephen Colbert]

Oh, this cappuccino.

[Jeff Daniels]

Well, he's got a.

[Stephen Colbert]

There's an espresso bar.

[Jeff Daniels]

It's a megachurch, man. They've got cappuccino, they've got pickleball, They've got everything thing.

[Stephen Colbert]

Favorite action movie,

[Jeff Daniels]

Speed.

[Stephen Colbert]

Not quality. No quality.

[Jeff Daniels]

I was in it. I was in it. And I really don't watch action movies, per se, if at all. But so Speed was fun. I mean, it was. Yeah, it was fun. Fun. There's a scene. There's a scene where I go into a house and I get blown up, and I have to look at a thermostat and see it. And three, two, one. And then cut outside and the house blows up. How do you act that? And I'm like going, well, gee, acting class, have I ever had that? Or how do I express that as an actor? And I remember an interview that Roy Scheider did in Jaws, and they said, roy, the look on your face when you saw the shark, and you look down in the water and the camera's looking up. How did you do that? He said, well, I just made sure I was squinting a little bit and I got my cheek muscles up. And then when I saw the shark, I just dropped my cheek muscles. That's all I did. And I've had critics. I've had critics come to me, go that moment in Speed. I mean, I have written a dissertation on it. Have you?

[Stephen Colbert]

Wow, that's great. You do so much great acting from here down. Favorite smell?

[Jeff Daniels]

The inside of a Martin guitar. I'm a Martin snob. I hate to say it, but you

[Stephen Colbert]

want to sniff it?

[Jeff Daniels]

You want to take a look? You will.

[Stephen Colbert]

What do we got here? A D24. What is this. There you go.

[Jeff Daniels]

You will smell the factory.

[Stephen Colbert]

There you go.

[Jeff Daniels]

Yep. You can smell the factory. You can smell where they made it. Like 52 people.

[Stephen Colbert]

Yeah.

[Jeff Daniels]

You really can have their hands on each one of the woods. I've taken the tour. I've made the pilgrimage. Yeah. Wow. That's. It just goes like, oh. And then you want to do this least favorite.

[Stephen Colbert]

Smell

[Jeff Daniels]

someone else's vomit.

[Stephen Colbert]

That's like. It would be a good name for a memoir.

[Jeff Daniels]

Yeah.

[Stephen Colbert]

Earliest memory.

[Jeff Daniels]

Ooh. I, I, I, I think I was in either the second grade or the third grade, which is a little distant. You would think you'd remember something. I remember Mrs. Madsen, third grade teacher, coming out of the hallway. We were all told to go home early. It was like 11 in the morning. Something, something. It was during the day. And the look on her face. Kennedy had just been shot.

[Stephen Colbert]

JFK or rfk?

[Jeff Daniels]

Jfk. Kennedy had just been shot. And it was. I mean, I find that out later as whatever. I was five or six year old, but that was. Yeah, yeah.

[Stephen Colbert]

Cats or dogs?

[Jeff Daniels]

Dogs. I've had dogs forever. We have two Australian shepherds. Now. My favorite dog, we named him Fred. He was a drop off, which is what they do maybe everywhere, but certainly in the Midwest. When you're tired of the dog and you don't want it anymore, you get in the car and you drive out into the country and you open the door, you let the dog out and you keep going. So that happened to him, and he hung around our garage for two weeks. We'd feed him and just wait for somebody to come and get him. Nobody came and got him. He was a chow shepherd, had a big old head and was just looked mean as hell and was. Could be. If he were a human being, he'd have been a hitman because he would sit out in the driveway when somebody would pull up. I'd look out, he'd look at me like, you want me to take him out?

[Stephen Colbert]

You only get one song to listen to for the rest of your life. What is it now? You don't have to listen to it continually, but when you go to listen to music, this is the song.

[Jeff Daniels]

I don't know if you have this, but there's. And I've heard people do. There's one song. I remember where I was the first time I heard it. I didn't think that was a thing. I think that I thought that was just me. And maybe it's not, but I remember where I was when I heard Levon by Elton John. November I've looked it up. November 71, I was in my dad's Ford Pinto that had AM FM radio and there was a new album, the song leavont and they had. And I was taking piano at the time and I remember hearing that. So yeah, if I gotta have one, then I don't get tired of listening to that one.

[Stephen Colbert]

Two things. One is I had a powder blue Ford Pinto.

[Jeff Daniels]

Did you?

[Stephen Colbert]

Quality ride.

[Jeff Daniels]

My dad, he had a blue Valiant and then that went into the ditch and he goes, I got a new car. Which you know. And he didn't. I didn't. In high school, I didn't have one. That was my shagging wagon. Was a. He got the Ford Pinto.

[Stephen Colbert]

Your. The Ford Pinto was the shaggin wagon for you. That was your El Camino.

[Jeff Daniels]

Yes. Wow. He included AM&FM radio, which was new at the time.

[Stephen Colbert]

Well, it's got that hatchback.

[Jeff Daniels]

Didn't have a. Yeah, no, I think had a hatchback. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was just. What? Really?

[Stephen Colbert]

Yeah, yeah. I used to. I brought it, I bought it from my brother Billy, who had bought it from my brother in law, Mike. So I was the third one in the family who had it. My brother Billy sold it to me for a dollar, you know, Cause we had to do a bill of sale. Sold it to me for a dollar. And as my brother Ed said, you got ripped off. By the way. Take me home, country roads. John Denver. I remember when I heard it the first time was with my sister Mary, who was driving her boyfriend's Mustang. Really nice. Yeah. What number am I thinking of?

[Jeff Daniels]

Let me look at you. 6000, 212.

[Stephen Colbert]

No, describe that.

[Jeff Daniels]

6213.

[Stephen Colbert]

Warmer.

[Jeff Daniels]

Okay.

[Stephen Colbert]

Describe the rest of your life in five words.

[Jeff Daniels]

Anybody want to listen to Levon?

[Stephen Colbert]

Congratulations, Jeff. You are known.

[Jeff Daniels]

I am known.

[Stephen Colbert]

Jeff Daniels, everybody. Thank you for listening to the Late Show Pod show with Stephen Colbert. Just one more thing. If you want to see see more of me, come to The Late Show YouTube channel for more clips and exclusives.

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