The Late Show Pod Show with Stephen Colbert

Episode: Stephen Presents: Jon Stewart's Colbert Questionert
Date: April 29, 2026
Host: Stephen Colbert
Guest: Jon Stewart

Episode Overview

This episode features Stephen Colbert and Becca revisiting four “retired” questions from the Colbert Questionnaire before welcoming Jon Stewart for the full Colbert Questionnaire. The show blends humor, personal revelation, and their signature banter as Stephen and Jon reflect on everything from favorite sandwiches to life's big questions—all while keeping the tone irreverent and playful.

Part I: Stephen Answers the "Retired" Colbert Questionnaire Questions

1. Most Used App on Your Phone

Stephen first thinks of the Podcast app, but then admits, “it’s probably Marine Traffic.”
Marine Traffic Explained:
- Tracks ships’ real-time locations, including name, vessel type, gross tonnage, speed, destination, and country flag.
- Amusingly nerdy enthusiasm as Stephen describes, “Right now… I could pop it up and say, hey, who’s going through the Strait of Hormuz right now?... It’s fascinating, you can see all those ships bunched up... in the Gulf…and then nothing around the strait.” (03:34)
Anecdote:
- Once while sailing, Stephen encountered the luxury yacht "Vertigo," later discovered (via Marine Traffic once in port) to belong to Rupert Murdoch, possibly glimpsing Jerry Hall on board.
- “Who did not stop to help someone who was signaling them—not in mortal distress, but like, hey, we could use some help here…Rupert Murdoch.” (06:14)

2. Is Exercise Worth It?

Stephen: “Is exercise worth it? Yes, it is. I think it is.” (06:39)
He jokes the hardest moment is usually before the exercise.
“I would recommend going into all exercise highly reluctantly. Cause then however much you dislike it is not as much as you had placed on your disgust of it.” (07:09)
On cycling: “I might get…my shoulders might creep wider than my hips. Not a V, but at least like an L or an I. Jim is job now.” (08:08)

3. Flat or Sparkling?

Stephen: “Sparkling. I mean...every moment can be a party.” (08:25)
Notes sparkling water is his “specialty beverage”—with or without bitters or lemon.
“If I have the sparkling water, I might not drink as much alcohol…getting my spicy tongue.” (08:40)

4. One Thing You Own That You Should Really Throw Out

Stephen tells the story of his decades-old can of Bell Sausage, a sentimental relic from his mother’s pantry:
- “It kind of is my mom, if you know what I mean. My mom’s well-intentioned but poorly informed attempt to feed me.” (10:44)
- The can is now bulging and has leaked but he cannot bring himself to throw it out.
- Considers auctioning it for charity or encasing it in epoxy as a keepsake, joking, “It’s literally gonna be like an 80-year-old can of sausage by the time I die.” (13:10)
Reflects on memorabilia from The Colbert Report, like custom-made Roman armor, suggesting perhaps he should give them away or open a Stephen Colbert Museum and Gift Shop.

Part II: Jon Stewart Takes the Colbert Questionnaire

Stephen: “To truly know someone, you have to interview them on a talk show. That’s when they’re most revelatory.” (16:39)

1. Best Sandwich

Jon Stewart: “The best sandwich is one that understands the bread to ingredient ratio...your range is 65 to 75% ingredient.” (19:02)
On pickles:
- “A pickle is a tremendous…flavor addition, but also a textural jolt…your mouth comes through the bread…But then you hit that mother pickle…it bursts.” (18:12)

2. One Thing You Own That You Should Really Throw Out

Jon: “Everything I wear.” (19:18)

3. Scariest Animal

Jon: “Cat…not a tiger, a cat. Because the tiger is not in your house. The cat is a killing machine.” (20:45)
Explains cats are relentless hunters and “will bring it to you and put it on your bed as if to say, you better keep feeding me, or I will rip you to shreds.” (21:08)
Refuses to count fish as animals: “No, they’re not. They’re fish.” (19:47)

4. Apples or Oranges?

Jon: “Apples.”
Stephen: “Yes. Correct answer. Can’t put peanut butter on an orange.” (22:30)

5. What Do You Think Happens When We Die?

Jon: “Very little. I mean…If, here’s what I would say: if something was happening, wouldn’t you move? But you don’t. So clearly, there’s nothing going on.” (22:37)

6. Favorite Action Movie

Jon: Initially says, “Finding Nemo,” to Stephen’s amusement. (23:06)
Waffles on definition: “Action movie, generally speaking, something explodes…or someone falls from a great height or…there doesn’t have to be gunplay because sword.”(23:20)

7. Favorite Smell

Jon: “The beach.” (23:41)
Least Favorite Smell: “Some of the things you find on the beach.” (23:46)

8. Exercise: Worth It?

Jon: “Please.” (24:04) [Implying, ‘no.’]

9. Flat or Sparkling?

Jon: “Oh, flat.” (24:08)
Explains:
- “What sort of unholy—Why would you ever aerate a beverage?...What else do you do that you consume that you aerate? Do you put bubbles in anything else?” (24:10)
- Stephen counters with “marshmallows” and “meringue,” leading to playful back-and-forth.

10. One Song to Listen to for the Rest of Your Life

Jon: Groans at the question, calls it “torturous,” but ultimately picks Springsteen, cycling through: “Lost in the Flood...Land of Hope and Dreams...Born to Run...Jungleland...Thunder Road...Rosalita.” (26:30-27:00)
Amused riff: “Whip those eggies, baby,” mocking their meringue discussion.

11. What Number Is Stephen Thinking Of?

Jon: “Whatever number it is...in the time that you are gonna have to stay late to Edison.”
Stephen: “Infinity.” (27:09)

12. Describe the Rest of Your Life in Five Words

Jon: “Hopefully quite, quite, quite long.” (27:31)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

On Stephen’s can of sausage: “Chemically, but emotionally, no. Emotionally, I can’t get rid of it.” – Stephen (13:10)
On exercise: “I would recommend going into all exercise highly reluctantly…” – Stephen (07:09)
On cats as the scariest animal: “The cat is a killing machine. And it will murder all over the neighborhood. And it will bring it to you and put it on your bed…” – Jon Stewart (21:08)
On sandwich perfection: “It has everything to do with…the ratio of ingredient to bread and the addition of your liquidity…” – Jon Stewart (17:53)
On life after death: “If something was happening, wouldn’t you move? But you don’t.” – Jon Stewart (22:37)
On favorite song: “The song that I want to listen to is the meringue song, and I just wrote it, and it goes like this: Whip those eggies, baby.” – Jon Stewart (26:23)

Timestamps for Key Segments

Retired Questionnaire Segment: 01:52 – 16:17
- Marine Traffic app and boat stories: 02:32 – 06:29
- Exercise discussion: 06:39 – 08:18
- Flat or sparkling: 08:25 – 09:11
- Can of sausage and memorabilia: 09:38 – 16:02
Jon Stewart Colbert Questionnaire: 16:28 – 27:31
- Sandwich & ratio debate: 17:13 – 19:11
- Scariest animal—cat: 19:25 – 21:47
- Life after death: 22:37 – 22:56
- Exercise & beverage debate: 23:50 – 24:42
- Song for life—Springsteen medley: 25:39 – 27:00
- Five words for life: 27:23 – 27:31

Tone & Style

The episode is quintessential Colbert and Stewart: dry, ironic, conversational, and self-aware. Both hosts balance quick wit with sincerity, swapping personal anecdotes and existential musings with easy rapport.

Summary Takeaways

Stephen is a nerd for boats, sparkling water, and odd sentimental treasures.
Jon is a connoisseur of sandwiches, suspicious of cats, and a diehard Springsteen fan.
Both display sharp humor and heart—whether kidding about meringue or reflecting on old cans of sausage and the passage of time.
The episode offers both laughter and a genuine window into what makes these iconic comics tick—even (especially) when the questions are designed to be a little silly.

For Colbert/Stewart fans and curious podcast listeners alike, this episode is a delightful, revealing listen, full of quirky revelations and the kind of banter only old friends can share.

The Late Show Pod Show with Stephen Colbert

Episode: Stephen Presents: Jon Stewart's Colbert Questionert
Date: April 29, 2026
Host: Stephen Colbert
Guest: Jon Stewart

Episode Overview

Part I: Stephen Answers the "Retired" Colbert Questionnaire Questions

1. Most Used App on Your Phone

Stephen first thinks of the Podcast app, but then admits, “it’s probably Marine Traffic.”
Marine Traffic Explained:
- Tracks ships’ real-time locations, including name, vessel type, gross tonnage, speed, destination, and country flag.
- Amusingly nerdy enthusiasm as Stephen describes, “Right now… I could pop it up and say, hey, who’s going through the Strait of Hormuz right now?... It’s fascinating, you can see all those ships bunched up... in the Gulf…and then nothing around the strait.” (03:34)
Anecdote:
- Once while sailing, Stephen encountered the luxury yacht "Vertigo," later discovered (via Marine Traffic once in port) to belong to Rupert Murdoch, possibly glimpsing Jerry Hall on board.
- “Who did not stop to help someone who was signaling them—not in mortal distress, but like, hey, we could use some help here…Rupert Murdoch.” (06:14)

2. Is Exercise Worth It?

Stephen: “Is exercise worth it? Yes, it is. I think it is.” (06:39)
He jokes the hardest moment is usually before the exercise.
“I would recommend going into all exercise highly reluctantly. Cause then however much you dislike it is not as much as you had placed on your disgust of it.” (07:09)
On cycling: “I might get…my shoulders might creep wider than my hips. Not a V, but at least like an L or an I. Jim is job now.” (08:08)

3. Flat or Sparkling?

Stephen: “Sparkling. I mean...every moment can be a party.” (08:25)
Notes sparkling water is his “specialty beverage”—with or without bitters or lemon.
“If I have the sparkling water, I might not drink as much alcohol…getting my spicy tongue.” (08:40)

4. One Thing You Own That You Should Really Throw Out

Stephen tells the story of his decades-old can of Bell Sausage, a sentimental relic from his mother’s pantry:
- “It kind of is my mom, if you know what I mean. My mom’s well-intentioned but poorly informed attempt to feed me.” (10:44)
- The can is now bulging and has leaked but he cannot bring himself to throw it out.
- Considers auctioning it for charity or encasing it in epoxy as a keepsake, joking, “It’s literally gonna be like an 80-year-old can of sausage by the time I die.” (13:10)
Reflects on memorabilia from The Colbert Report, like custom-made Roman armor, suggesting perhaps he should give them away or open a Stephen Colbert Museum and Gift Shop.

Part II: Jon Stewart Takes the Colbert Questionnaire

Stephen: “To truly know someone, you have to interview them on a talk show. That’s when they’re most revelatory.” (16:39)

1. Best Sandwich

Jon Stewart: “The best sandwich is one that understands the bread to ingredient ratio...your range is 65 to 75% ingredient.” (19:02)
On pickles:
- “A pickle is a tremendous…flavor addition, but also a textural jolt…your mouth comes through the bread…But then you hit that mother pickle…it bursts.” (18:12)

2. One Thing You Own That You Should Really Throw Out

Jon: “Everything I wear.” (19:18)

3. Scariest Animal

Jon: “Cat…not a tiger, a cat. Because the tiger is not in your house. The cat is a killing machine.” (20:45)
Explains cats are relentless hunters and “will bring it to you and put it on your bed as if to say, you better keep feeding me, or I will rip you to shreds.” (21:08)
Refuses to count fish as animals: “No, they’re not. They’re fish.” (19:47)

4. Apples or Oranges?

Jon: “Apples.”
Stephen: “Yes. Correct answer. Can’t put peanut butter on an orange.” (22:30)

5. What Do You Think Happens When We Die?

Jon: “Very little. I mean…If, here’s what I would say: if something was happening, wouldn’t you move? But you don’t. So clearly, there’s nothing going on.” (22:37)

6. Favorite Action Movie

Jon: Initially says, “Finding Nemo,” to Stephen’s amusement. (23:06)
Waffles on definition: “Action movie, generally speaking, something explodes…or someone falls from a great height or…there doesn’t have to be gunplay because sword.”(23:20)

7. Favorite Smell

Jon: “The beach.” (23:41)
Least Favorite Smell: “Some of the things you find on the beach.” (23:46)

8. Exercise: Worth It?

Jon: “Please.” (24:04) [Implying, ‘no.’]

9. Flat or Sparkling?

Jon: “Oh, flat.” (24:08)
Explains:
- “What sort of unholy—Why would you ever aerate a beverage?...What else do you do that you consume that you aerate? Do you put bubbles in anything else?” (24:10)
- Stephen counters with “marshmallows” and “meringue,” leading to playful back-and-forth.

10. One Song to Listen to for the Rest of Your Life

Jon: Groans at the question, calls it “torturous,” but ultimately picks Springsteen, cycling through: “Lost in the Flood...Land of Hope and Dreams...Born to Run...Jungleland...Thunder Road...Rosalita.” (26:30-27:00)
Amused riff: “Whip those eggies, baby,” mocking their meringue discussion.

11. What Number Is Stephen Thinking Of?

Jon: “Whatever number it is...in the time that you are gonna have to stay late to Edison.”
Stephen: “Infinity.” (27:09)

12. Describe the Rest of Your Life in Five Words

Jon: “Hopefully quite, quite, quite long.” (27:31)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

On Stephen’s can of sausage: “Chemically, but emotionally, no. Emotionally, I can’t get rid of it.” – Stephen (13:10)
On exercise: “I would recommend going into all exercise highly reluctantly…” – Stephen (07:09)
On cats as the scariest animal: “The cat is a killing machine. And it will murder all over the neighborhood. And it will bring it to you and put it on your bed…” – Jon Stewart (21:08)
On sandwich perfection: “It has everything to do with…the ratio of ingredient to bread and the addition of your liquidity…” – Jon Stewart (17:53)
On life after death: “If something was happening, wouldn’t you move? But you don’t.” – Jon Stewart (22:37)
On favorite song: “The song that I want to listen to is the meringue song, and I just wrote it, and it goes like this: Whip those eggies, baby.” – Jon Stewart (26:23)

Timestamps for Key Segments

Retired Questionnaire Segment: 01:52 – 16:17
- Marine Traffic app and boat stories: 02:32 – 06:29
- Exercise discussion: 06:39 – 08:18
- Flat or sparkling: 08:25 – 09:11
- Can of sausage and memorabilia: 09:38 – 16:02
Jon Stewart Colbert Questionnaire: 16:28 – 27:31
- Sandwich & ratio debate: 17:13 – 19:11
- Scariest animal—cat: 19:25 – 21:47
- Life after death: 22:37 – 22:56
- Exercise & beverage debate: 23:50 – 24:42
- Song for life—Springsteen medley: 25:39 – 27:00
- Five words for life: 27:23 – 27:31

Tone & Style

Summary Takeaways

Stephen is a nerd for boats, sparkling water, and odd sentimental treasures.
Jon is a connoisseur of sandwiches, suspicious of cats, and a diehard Springsteen fan.
Both display sharp humor and heart—whether kidding about meringue or reflecting on old cans of sausage and the passage of time.
The episode offers both laughter and a genuine window into what makes these iconic comics tick—even (especially) when the questions are designed to be a little silly.

For Colbert/Stewart fans and curious podcast listeners alike, this episode is a delightful, revealing listen, full of quirky revelations and the kind of banter only old friends can share.

Stephen Presents: Jon Stewart's Colbert Questionert

Summary

The Late Show Pod Show with Stephen Colbert

Episode Overview

Part I: Stephen Answers the "Retired" Colbert Questionnaire Questions

1. Most Used App on Your Phone

2. Is Exercise Worth It?

3. Flat or Sparkling?

4. One Thing You Own That You Should Really Throw Out

Part II: Jon Stewart Takes the Colbert Questionnaire

1. Best Sandwich

2. One Thing You Own That You Should Really Throw Out

3. Scariest Animal

4. Apples or Oranges?

5. What Do You Think Happens When We Die?

6. Favorite Action Movie

7. Favorite Smell

8. Exercise: Worth It?

9. Flat or Sparkling?

10. One Song to Listen to for the Rest of Your Life

11. What Number Is Stephen Thinking Of?

12. Describe the Rest of Your Life in Five Words

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

Timestamps for Key Segments

Tone & Style

Summary Takeaways

Transcript

Summary

The Late Show Pod Show with Stephen Colbert

Episode Overview

Part I: Stephen Answers the "Retired" Colbert Questionnaire Questions

1. Most Used App on Your Phone

2. Is Exercise Worth It?

3. Flat or Sparkling?

4. One Thing You Own That You Should Really Throw Out

Part II: Jon Stewart Takes the Colbert Questionnaire

1. Best Sandwich

2. One Thing You Own That You Should Really Throw Out

3. Scariest Animal

4. Apples or Oranges?

5. What Do You Think Happens When We Die?

6. Favorite Action Movie

7. Favorite Smell

8. Exercise: Worth It?

9. Flat or Sparkling?

10. One Song to Listen to for the Rest of Your Life

11. What Number Is Stephen Thinking Of?

12. Describe the Rest of Your Life in Five Words

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

Timestamps for Key Segments

Tone & Style

Summary Takeaways