Stephen Presents: Mariah Carey's Colbert Questionert

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Late Show Pod Show with Stephen Colbert

Episode Title: Stephen Presents: Mariah Carey's Colbert Questionnaire
Release Date: December 24, 2024

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Introduction

In the festive December 24, 2024, episode of The Late Show Pod Show with Stephen Colbert, host Stephen Colbert teams up with producer Becca to present a special Christmas-themed edition of the beloved Colbert Questionnaire. This episode features the iconic Mariah Carey, affectionately known as the "Queen of Christmas," as she engages in a humorous and heartfelt Q&A session with Stephen. The episode seamlessly blends Colbert's trademark wit with Carey's charm, making it a delightful listen for fans and newcomers alike.

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Setting the Stage

The episode kicks off with Becca introducing the special edition of the Colbert Questionnaire, highlighting its unique Christmas theme. Stephen and Becca discuss the challenges of producing content during the holiday season, referencing their quick turnaround from Thanksgiving to Christmas coverage.

• Becca [01:02]: “This week it's Steven Presents podcast because it's a gift to be here with you for Christmas week.”
• Stephen [01:30]: “Because the beast must be fed.”

This light-hearted banter sets the tone for the evening, emphasizing the festive spirit and the special nature of the questionnaire.

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Introducing Mariah Carey

As the central guest, Mariah Carey is warmly welcomed to the show. Stephen reminisces about their previous Zoom interaction in December 2020, expressing excitement to finally have her in the studio.

• Stephen [03:10]: “Merry Christmas, ladies and gentlemen. Oh, y'all. Y'all are in for a Christmas treat because my guest tonight is a five-time Grammy award winner and the best-selling solo artist of all time with more than 200 million records sold worldwide.”
• Mariah [04:20]: “Well, thank you for gracing me with your presence.”

Their conversation touches on the evolution from virtual to in-person interactions, highlighting the improved dynamic now that they're together face-to-face.

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The Colbert Questionnaire Begins

Stephen introduces the questionnaire, designed by scientists to delve deep into a guest’s personality with 15 ergonomically crafted questions.

• Stephen [05:31]: “We have so little time to talk on one of these shows that what we did here at the Late show is that the scientists up in the labs up there came up with 15 questions that are ergonomically designed to be able to penetrate straight to the soul of someone and reveal them for who they truly are in front of an appreciative crowd.”
• Mariah [05:37]: “Or would that be two separate.”

Their playful exchange underscores the humor and lighthearted nature of the questionnaire.

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Highlighting Key Moments and Insights

Throughout the questionnaire, Stephen poses a series of whimsical and thoughtful questions, to which Mariah responds with honesty and humor. Here are some of the standout moments:

1. On Mariah's Title as the Queen of Christmas

   • Mariah [06:25]: “I never called myself the Queen of Christmas. ... People like, how do you write these Christmas songs? And you do this? ... It is a real thing.”

   Mariah clarifies her connection to the holiday season, discussing the authenticity behind her festive music and its importance in her life.

2. Favorite Christmas Playlist

   • Mariah [11:54]: “Nat King Cole.”
   • Stephen [11:55]: “The Christmas song, yeah.”

   Their mutual appreciation for classic Christmas tunes highlights their shared love for timeless holiday music.

3. Best Sandwich Choice

   • Stephen [13:30]: “Mariah Carey, what is the best sandwich?”
   • Mariah [13:54]: “Chicken parm sandwich, but not with parmesan I would do mozzarella...”

   Mariah’s detailed description of her ideal sandwich showcases her personality and preferences in a fun, relatable way.

4. Scariest Animal

   • Stephen [15:32]: “What animal on Earth is scariest to you?”
   • Mariah [15:37]: “I went with that. I went with the classic. I'm scared of snakes.”

   This exchange reveals Mariah’s playful side, softening her superstar image with a candid admission.

5. Life in Five Words

   • Mariah [19:27]: “That's my life, I guess.”

   Her succinct and musical response encapsulates her perspective on life, blending creativity with simplicity.

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Humor and Chemistry

The chemistry between Stephen and Mariah is palpable, filled with witty exchanges and mutual respect. Their playful teasing adds depth to the conversation, making the questionnaire both entertaining and insightful.

• Mariah [08:17]: “We actually make on streams. 116 of a penny.”
• Stephen [08:28]: “What’s a hay penny? Do you know?”

This humorous take on the music industry's streaming revenue highlights Mariah’s awareness and satire.

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Conclusion and Festive Farewell

As the questionnaire concludes, Stephen wraps up the session with warm holiday wishes, and Mariah responds with gratitude and festive cheer.

• Stephen [19:44]: “Mariah Carey. The Mariah Carey. Merry Christmas to all.”
• Mariah [20:27]: “Matty. I appreciate your honesty. That's me. Honest to a fault.”

The episode ends on a high note, reinforcing the joyous and communal spirit of the holiday season.

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Final Thoughts

This special episode of The Late Show Pod Show with Stephen Colbert masterfully combines humor, heartfelt conversation, and festive charm. Mariah Carey’s participation in the Colbert Questionnaire offers listeners an intimate glimpse into her personality, traditions, and creative process. Stephen’s engaging hosting and the seamless interaction between the hosts create an inviting and entertaining atmosphere, making this episode a memorable addition to the holiday podcast lineup.

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Becca [01:02]: “This week it's Steven Presents podcast because it's a gift to be here with you for Christmas week.”
• Stephen [03:10]: “Merry Christmas, ladies and gentlemen. Oh, y'all. Y'all are in for a Christmas treat because my guest tonight is a five-time Grammy award winner and the best-selling solo artist of all time with more than 200 million records sold worldwide.”
• Mariah [08:17]: “We actually make on streams. 116 of a penny.”
• Mariah [11:54]: “Nat King Cole.”
• Mariah [16:13]: “You know, I probably would do, like, a collabo. I'm mixed. I tend to, like, put things together and mix it, you know, treat it as dessert.”
• Stephen [19:44]: “Mariah Carey. The Mariah Carey. Merry Christmas to all.”

These quotes capture the essence of the episode, highlighting the humor, warmth, and festive spirit that define this special Christmas edition.

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Connect with the Late Show Pod Show

For more engaging episodes, exclusive clips, and behind-the-scenes content, visit The Late Show YouTube channel or stream the latest episodes on Paramount+. Don’t forget to use discount code “TLS20” for 20% off all The Late Show with Stephen Colbert products on ParamountShop.com.

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Watch the Show

Catch The Late Show with Stephen Colbert weeknights at 11:35/10:35c on CBS or stream it on Paramount+ to stay updated with Stephen’s whip-smart writing, hilarious monologues, and star-studded conversations.

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Happy Holidays and Merry Christmas from The Late Show Pod Show with Stephen Colbert!

Transcript

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[Ross]

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[Becca]

Hey, everybody. You're listening to the Late Show POD Show. I'm Becca. I'm a producer here on the podcast. And of course I'm joined by our host, Stephen Colbert. Hello, Stephen.

[Stephen Colbert]

Hi, Becca. Good to see you.

[Becca]

Good to see you.

[Mariah Carey]

Happy birthday.

[Stephen Colbert]

These are coming fast and furious because we had to cover Thanksgiving and now we're covering Christmas.

[Becca]

Yeah, exactly. We call these podcasts the Steven Presents Podcast, but this week it's Steven Presence podcast because it's a gift to be here with you for Christmas week.

[Stephen Colbert]

Look at that.

[Becca]

That's lovely. We come in here when we're not doing shows and we record some quick little podcasts, introducing some.

[Stephen Colbert]

We are actually doing shows. This is a show day.

[Becca]

Well, this is a show day, but I mean for the next week's when we have falls.

[Stephen Colbert]

Okay, I thought you meant that we were recording this when we don't have shows.

[Becca]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Stephen Colbert]

No, the hallmark of this is that we actually have to keep it snappy.

[Becca]

Yes.

[Stephen Colbert]

Because the beast must be fed.

[Becca]

Exactly.

[Stephen Colbert]

There's a prowling animal up on the 12th floor that really wants me to shave and get into a suit right now.

[Becca]

Yeah. Okay, great. Well, without further ado, tonight's podcast is one of my favorites of all time. This is a Colbert questionnaire. The one and only Christmas themed Colbert questionnaire we ever did. Do you remember who it is?

[Stephen Colbert]

Is it Santa? Hold on. Give me a hint.

[Becca]

Queen of Christmas, Mariah Carey. This is, I think this is, I think, the best questionnaire of all time.

[Stephen Colbert]

Really?

[Becca]

It's an epic one. I think the funniest part about this one is that the preamble before you ask the first question of the questionnaire is maybe seven and a half minutes long. She's awesome.

[Stephen Colbert]

Well, the queen. The queen can do what she wants.

[Becca]

I guess the queen can do what she wants. But the preamble alone and a half minutes of just her expressing excitement for taking the questionnaire and sort of like interviewing herself a little bit. It's incredible. And I think your expression the whole time is just sort of sitting back and watching the show and then you launch in the questionnaire and she's on it.

[Stephen Colbert]

She's on it.

[Becca]

She's honest, she's real, she's true.

[Stephen Colbert]

How long ago was this?

[Becca]

This was 2022. Two years ago.

[Stephen Colbert]

All right.

[Becca]

And we asked. This was the first and only and the last questionnaire that comes with some Christmas questions that everyone can enjoy.

[Stephen Colbert]

Oh, wonderful.

[Becca]

Yeah.

[Stephen Colbert]

So don't forget to take the questionnaire at home. Okay. And send in your answers to Mariah Carey.

[Becca]

Yeah, exactly, exactly. That would be a fun Christmas game. Everybody do the questionnaire with your family. Best sandwich, Fight about it. It'll be good. Yeah. All right, well, enjoy. This is the Colbert questionnaire with Mariah Carey, Christmas edition.

[Stephen Colbert]

Merry Christmas, ladies and gentlemen. Oh, y'all. Y'all are in for a Christmas treat because my guest tonight is a five time Grammy award winner and the best selling solo artist of all time with more than 200 million records sold worldwide. Here to take the Colbert questionnaire, please welcome back to the late show Mariah Carey. You don't get that everywhere. You do. Lovely.

[Mariah Carey]

I go back. Do I sit? Do I stand? I don't know what to do.

[Stephen Colbert]

The queen sits. Queen tickets. There you go. Thank you.

[Mariah Carey]

Thank you.

[Stephen Colbert]

How delightful. How lovely to have you here in person. Well, thank you. We've talked before in December of 2020 to talk about your New York Times number one bestselling book, the Meaning of Mariah Carey still available makes an incredible Christmas present. But that was over zoom. Because we never got to actually be together. How lovely to sense your presence.

[Mariah Carey]

Well, thank you for gracing me with your presence.

[Stephen Colbert]

Thank you. Now.

[Mariah Carey]

No, really, really. I was. That was 2020 and it was so awkward because everybody was. Nobody was in studio, so it was.

[Stephen Colbert]

Like, no, we were at home.

[Mariah Carey]

No, but it was like. And then it was like, no, it's silent. No, seriously. And you're like, okay, did he just ask me that or what? You know, so I didn't, I didn't. I didn't get to feel the actual vibe because I have to tell you that I have a very, very good friend. She's in Israel. She loves you. She is your biggest fan. So can you just say hi to her?

[Stephen Colbert]

Hey, Elle. Shalom, Shalom, Shalom el. Here's the nice thing, is that now that I got you here in person, you know, first of all, it's easier to get to know someone in person than it is over zoom, for one thing, because you get that sort of that micronutrient of being together. It's hard to identify what it is, but there's something special. But also, we have so little time to talk on one of these shows that what we did here at the Late show is that the scientists up in the labs up there came up with 15 questions that are ergonomically designed to be able to penetrate straight to the soul of someone and reveal them for who they truly are in front of an appreciative crowd.

[Mariah Carey]

So the ergonomically designed part gets to the soul, in fact?

[Stephen Colbert]

Yes.

[Mariah Carey]

Or would that be two separate.

[Stephen Colbert]

No, same thing. The ergonomic part goes in and like a psychic rib spreader cracks you open so we can see the beating heart.

[Mariah Carey]

My ribs have been cracked open by having twins. That's one thing.

[Stephen Colbert]

It's all a metaphor. It's all a metaphor.

[Mariah Carey]

I understand that.

[Stephen Colbert]

Ok. Don't wanna scare me.

[Mariah Carey]

We haven't met before, but here I am.

[Stephen Colbert]

I know. You don't know what I'm like. You don't know what I'm very gentle. I'm a pussycat. Ok. So what I'd like to do is ask. Would you be willing to take the Colbert question?

[Mariah Carey]

I am ready. You know what? I'm ready. I actually. Is that good? Hi, guys. Loving, loving, loving. No. So I was asked if I wanted to take a peeky. Take a peeky? Yeah. But I didn't because I'd rather be surprised. And I'm just gonna say. Can I just say, like anything you want a little disclaimer?

[Stephen Colbert]

Sure.

[Mariah Carey]

I don't know what you're going to ask me, but I'm just gonna wing it, darling, because that's what I don't. I don't know what else to do. Even if. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, even if it comes out, however it comes out, just please, please deal with me. Deal with me. I can only be me.

[Stephen Colbert]

Because you are you and you are the Queen of Christmas. I've got a couple.

[Mariah Carey]

First of all, may I say, I never called myself the Queen of Christmas. Can we please be clear on that?

[Stephen Colbert]

That's. I never accused you of that.

[Mariah Carey]

You did not. No, you did not, my friend. But others have said like the self proclaimed. I'm like, really? I'm gonna do that. They can look up every interview I've ever done. And not to get super religious, but I was like, I think, like, if anybody would be the queen of Christmas, that would be merry. And then. And then somebody else uses my quote against me. Christmas is for all. And I just happen to actually really love Christmas because I grew up and I had kind of a tough childhood, and I always wanted Christmas to be perfect, and it never was. And so then when I was able to finally kind of like provide myself and my friends, and then later, now my little kids who are 11. Hey, Rock and roll. We have the most festive Christmas ever. But, like, it comes from the whole thing of. It stems from. People are like, how do you write these Christmas songs? And you do this? And like, why is it like that? And I'm like, because it's actually authentic. And it came from a place of longing to have some normalcy and some peace and just like a lovely holiday. And somehow someone would be throwing mustard at somebody else or ketchup or whatever, you know? So I, like, I went through that and now it's just. I wait for it all year long. So it's actually. It is a real thing. So edit it how you will, but it is not a word.

[Stephen Colbert]

Not a word comes out of that.

[Mariah Carey]

But one thing everybody should be aware of, the artists actually make. I mean, I'm the writer as well. We actually make on streams. 116 of a penny.

[Stephen Colbert]

On every stream.

[Mariah Carey]

Yeah. Like one. Literally 1 16th. I mean, what's a hay penny? Do you know? Do you know the definition of a hay penny?

[Stephen Colbert]

It's half a penny.

[Mariah Carey]

Okay, so we don't even make a hay penny. You haven't got a penny. A hay penny will do that. Doesn't. We get 1 16th, so I can't do the math. Get the Scientologists upset.

[Stephen Colbert]

I'm sorry, scientists or the Scientologist.

[Mariah Carey]

Somebody knows better than me. All I know is we only make 1 16th.

[Stephen Colbert]

Yeah.

[Mariah Carey]

You know, but that's. But still, we're thankful for all of it.

[Stephen Colbert]

Yeah.

[Mariah Carey]

Yeah.

[Stephen Colbert]

Tom Cruise does his own math.

[Mariah Carey]

Does he really? Yeah, I failed remedial math, so I don't know. Yes, I actually did.

[Stephen Colbert]

I barely graduated from high school.

[Mariah Carey]

I heard you talking about that.

[Stephen Colbert]

Yeah.

[Mariah Carey]

Yeah. I still have nightmares that I didn't actually. I don't know if I actually did, but I don't really care because I was working and singing and stuff.

[Stephen Colbert]

It's all worked out.

[Mariah Carey]

Writing well, I did the best I could.

[Stephen Colbert]

As far as I can tell, it's worked out.

[Mariah Carey]

I'M trying.

[Stephen Colbert]

Number one selling artist of all time.

[Mariah Carey]

I'm trying. And you're not doing bad yourself.

[Stephen Colbert]

I'm doing all right. I'm doing all right. Yeah. I only have two Grammys. So here we'll start off with a couple of Christmas questions, if you don't mind.

[Mariah Carey]

Sure.

[Stephen Colbert]

Okay. Mariah Carey.

[Mariah Carey]

Yes.

[Stephen Colbert]

White lights or colored lights at Christmas?

[Mariah Carey]

I'm gonna say. Is that politically correct in the way that you phrase that?

[Stephen Colbert]

I don't know. I don't know.

[Mariah Carey]

I'm gonna. As a biracial. A black and biracial mix. Black Irish, by the way, that's my new liquor. Check it out. Actually really freaking good.

[Stephen Colbert]

Your new liquor is called Black Irish?

[Mariah Carey]

Yeah, I kind of reworked it for my favor.

[Stephen Colbert]

Are you Black Irish?

[Mariah Carey]

My mother is Irish. My father is black. Yeah, Was black. He passed away and his great grandmother was Venezuelan. So everybody was like, she's Venezuelan. It was easier for them to put me in a box. But no, I'm black Irish. But really the definition is like a darker haired Irish person.

[Stephen Colbert]

That's right. I'm black Irish.

[Mariah Carey]

Okay. So now I'm Black Irish. And that's what it is. And it tastes really good. They want you to know, especially the holidays. But you could put it over ice as well. Shameless.

[Stephen Colbert]

Plug hot cocoa or eggnog?

[Mariah Carey]

Hot cocoa with a splash of Black Irish, though.

[Stephen Colbert]

I'm for real worth it, girl.

[Mariah Carey]

I should have.

[Stephen Colbert]

I'm not even trying. You can't help it. You just work it.

[Mariah Carey]

No, but. No, but I really, really should have brought some for you.

[Stephen Colbert]

Tree topper. Angel or star?

[Mariah Carey]

Both.

[Stephen Colbert]

How would you fit them both up there?

[Mariah Carey]

Because I have to see.

[Stephen Colbert]

There'd only be one at the top of my house. What do you want? How early can you start listening to Christmas music? Very important question.

[Mariah Carey]

Super important.

[Stephen Colbert]

Because you know the first song every store puts on.

[Mariah Carey]

I do not. You know what's interesting? So I wrote that song, I don't acknowledge time. So I don't know exactly like I was in the womb or prior to when I wrote it technically because it came out in, you know, 90s, I wasn't around, but so I wrote it and I didn't know that it would last and do what it's done for me, but I don't now. I'm not really in stores except when I go Christmas shopping, which is the only time I go shopping. And then the stores I go to are like, you know, I'm going to buy people, they want designer gifts from me. What do they expect? They don't expect me to go to wherever and get it. So they're like playing cool music. It's not really like the little Christmas ditties. So I never get to hear it out in the stores. And my friends are calling me, like, I just heard you at the store. Listen. And I'm just like, okay, I'll listen. At home. I have my own Christmas playlist that I listen to.

[Stephen Colbert]

What's the top of the Christmas playlist? What do you start with?

[Mariah Carey]

Nat King Cole.

[Stephen Colbert]

The Christmas song. The Christmas song, yeah.

[Mariah Carey]

Donny Hathaway and Nat King Cole. It's a tie.

[Stephen Colbert]

Wow.

[Mariah Carey]

This Christmas and that. But, you know, I like a lot of them.

[Stephen Colbert]

We're gonna hold it there for just one second, and when we come back, Mariah Carey will complete the Colbert Questionnaire. Don't go away.

[Google Gemini]

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[Ross]

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[Mariah Carey]

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[Stephen Colbert]

We're back with Mariah Carey. We now return to the Colbert Questionnaire already in progress. All right, you ready to get into the Colbert questionnaire for real?

[Mariah Carey]

Oh, you're gonna edit all that out?

[Stephen Colbert]

No. Mariah Carey, what is the best sandwich?

[Mariah Carey]

Oh, gosh. I mean, I don't know.

[Stephen Colbert]

These are tough questions.

[Mariah Carey]

I'm trying not to eat sandwiches lately.

[Stephen Colbert]

If you could eat a sandwich, what is the best sandwich? What's your go to? Baby?

[Mariah Carey]

I'm off the top of my head right now. I would say chicken parm sandwich, but not with parmesan I would do mozzarella, and I would do a red sauce on top of it with a lightly toasted thingy. 100% slice, but small and thin and pounded. You pound it.

[Stephen Colbert]

I love it. I love it. You haven't given this any thought. What's the one thing you own you should really throw out?

[Mariah Carey]

Many, many, many things.

[Stephen Colbert]

Name one. Just something that would go out to the garbage or give away or resell or something like that.

[Mariah Carey]

Okay. There's a jacket in my closet right now that everybody who knows my closet will know what it is. It's a nice gesture, but it's hideously ugly, and it's gotta go.

[Stephen Colbert]

Okay.

[Mariah Carey]

If I send it to you one day, will you show it on the. I mean, it's.

[Stephen Colbert]

I'll wear it if you sign it to me.

[Mariah Carey]

Oh, you will not.

[Stephen Colbert]

I will wear it.

[Mariah Carey]

I will wear it. It could fit. Okay. I promise.

[Stephen Colbert]

You send it.

[Mariah Carey]

Somebody help me, please.

[Stephen Colbert]

You send it. I'll wear it.

[Mariah Carey]

Will you wear it? But, like, you can't make fun of me when you're wearing it. You have to wear it and just be serious and asking. Even if it's the most learned person on the planet. You have to just be, like, really serious and stern and sitting there and just.

[Stephen Colbert]

I'm not gonna wear it to interview someone. I'll.

[Mariah Carey]

All right, I'm gonna say this is multicolored. That's the impression. It's colorful.

[Stephen Colbert]

Colorful. I will wear it.

[Mariah Carey]

And it's. And it's plentiful in colors, and it's bright and sparkly. And.

[Stephen Colbert]

Is it the amazing Technicolor dream coat?

[Mariah Carey]

If you want it to be, then it is.

[Stephen Colbert]

What's the scariest animal on Earth? If you've been to another planet with an animal, let me know about it.

[Mariah Carey]

Maybe you'll find out one of these days.

[Stephen Colbert]

What animal on Earth is scariest to you?

[Mariah Carey]

You. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm not a fan of. I mean, I don't know. I'm scared of snakes. Yeah.

[Stephen Colbert]

Classic.

[Mariah Carey]

I'm scared.

[Stephen Colbert]

Yeah, it's classic.

[Mariah Carey]

I went with that. I went with the classic.

[Stephen Colbert]

Apples or oranges?

[Mariah Carey]

Ooh, oranges.

[Stephen Colbert]

Okay.

[Mariah Carey]

Why. Why is that wrong?

[Stephen Colbert]

It's not wrong.

[Mariah Carey]

But why is it like that? Because apple. Like, I'm supposed to go with apples.

[Stephen Colbert]

You don't have to do anything. We just. You just.

[Mariah Carey]

Apples are great. I like apples.

[Stephen Colbert]

I just learned something about you when you said orange. That's all right. We're just learning, you know, why?

[Mariah Carey]

Like, if I had a choice right now, I would go with, like, tangerine or an orange. It wouldn't be, like, one thing.

[Stephen Colbert]

Okay.

[Mariah Carey]

You know, I probably would do, like, a collabo. I'm mixed. I tend to, like, put things together and mix it, you know, treat it as dessert.

[Stephen Colbert]

That is why you're exciting.

[Mariah Carey]

Well, I.

[Stephen Colbert]

Cause you're up for whatever?

[Mariah Carey]

Well, not really.

[Stephen Colbert]

Not apples, actually.

[Mariah Carey]

I'm very prudish and boring and awful.

[Stephen Colbert]

You don't seem it.

[Mariah Carey]

Well, that's cause I'm here with you, darling. I'm trying to just stay somewhere within the vicinity of where you are.

[Stephen Colbert]

Welcome. Welcome to the vicinity.

[Mariah Carey]

Well, then why have you not gone to another planet yet?

[Stephen Colbert]

If you can get me a ticket, I'll go.

[Mariah Carey]

Oh, we gotta ask some of our other friends for that.

[Stephen Colbert]

What do you think happens when we die?

[Mariah Carey]

What do you think happens? I'm asking the questions, and my answer is a question.

[Stephen Colbert]

So you question, what will happen when we die?

[Mariah Carey]

You question what will happen when we die? Cause you asked the question.

[Stephen Colbert]

You have no question.

[Mariah Carey]

I already know. No, I do not. I have faith.

[Stephen Colbert]

You have faith?

[Mariah Carey]

Yes, I do.

[Stephen Colbert]

All right, good.

[Mariah Carey]

The assured expectation of things hoped for, the evidence of things yet unseen.

[Stephen Colbert]

Beautifully done. Beautifully done.

[Mariah Carey]

Baby's 11.

[Stephen Colbert]

You ever think about teaching Sunday school?

[Mariah Carey]

No, it's too early. It's too early for me. I'm really a night person. Like, I'm lucky I'm awake right now.

[Stephen Colbert]

Window or aisle?

[Mariah Carey]

On, like, a plane?

[Stephen Colbert]

Yes. It could be a submarine. You get around. No.

[Mariah Carey]

Well, it depends on the plane.

[Stephen Colbert]

Plane, wind or aisle?

[Mariah Carey]

Bed.

[Stephen Colbert]

Bed.

[Mariah Carey]

Yes. This one is.

[Stephen Colbert]

This one. I got to get on a better plane. All right.

[Mariah Carey]

It's an occasional. It's an occasional.

[Stephen Colbert]

I understand. It's a treat.

[Mariah Carey]

It's a treat. Yeah.

[Stephen Colbert]

Most used app on your phone.

[Mariah Carey]

Voice notes.

[Stephen Colbert]

Cats or dogs?

[Mariah Carey]

Oh, that is really, really difficult for me. I'm sure right now. Dogs. Because I have four of them at home.

[Stephen Colbert]

That's good.

[Mariah Carey]

But for life, I can't choose.

[Stephen Colbert]

All right. Yeah, you just did. Dogs.

[Mariah Carey]

Did not. Choose. Did not.

[Stephen Colbert]

Sorry.

[Mariah Carey]

Did not.

[Stephen Colbert]

Sorry. Just did.

[Mariah Carey]

Did not.

[Stephen Colbert]

Sorry. Uh, you only get one song to listen to for the rest of your life. What?

[Mariah Carey]

Stephen Colbert's latest hit, the last song.

[Stephen Colbert]

I sang was All I Want for Christmas on this show last night, actually.

[Mariah Carey]

You did not.

[Stephen Colbert]

I did. I did. Did I not?

[Mariah Carey]

Did I not sing my song?

[Stephen Colbert]

I literally did. Yeah.

[Mariah Carey]

Okay.

[Stephen Colbert]

I ended the monologue singing your song last night.

[Mariah Carey]

One line of it or the whole thing?

[Stephen Colbert]

All in all for Christmas There is just one thing I need and I care about the presents Underneath the Christmas tree? Yes, I just want you for my own.

[Mariah Carey]

You skipped a part of the B section, but that's all right. He chose my song, so I feel I'm very thankful.

[Stephen Colbert]

What number am I thinking of?

[Mariah Carey]

56.

[Stephen Colbert]

Nope.

[Mariah Carey]

23.

[Stephen Colbert]

Describe the rest of your life in five words.

[Mariah Carey]

That was it.

[Stephen Colbert]

That is it.

[Mariah Carey]

And you can say it any way you like. You can add music to it. You can add anything you want to it. You can flavor the note, right? You guys, you already know. You can play. Mm, mm, mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm. That's my life, I guess.

[Stephen Colbert]

Mariah Carey. Congratulations. You are known. Thank you so much. Mariah Carey. The Mariah Carey. Merry Christmas to all. Special airs December 20th at 8pm on CBS, streaming live on Paramount. It's Mariah Care, everybody. Thank you for listening to the late show pod show with Stephen Colbert. Just one more thing. If you want to see more of me, come to The Late Show YouTube channel for more clips and exclusives.

[Paramount Ads Manager]

Now streaming on Paramount Plus, I'm Madeline Matlock. Kathy Bates is not the Matlock you're expecting.

[Mariah Carey]

Matty. I appreciate your honesty. That's me. Honest to a fault.

[Paramount Ads Manager]

Matlock needs series Streaming on Paramount plus all new episodes CBS Thursday, 9, 8 Central.

[Mariah Carey]

Hey, Coulter, we have a job for you.

[Becca]

Send me the info.

[Paramount Ads Manager]

Now streaming on Paramount Plus.

[Mariah Carey]

Mr. Shop, I know the reward.

[Stephen Colbert]

It's not much. I'm gonna help you.

[Paramount Ads Manager]

Justin Hartley is America's number one new hero.

[Mariah Carey]

Thank you.

[Stephen Colbert]

I'm here to help.

[Mariah Carey]

If there were any one of us out there, he wouldn't hesitate to do everything I can.

[Paramount Ads Manager]

Tracker new season streaming on Paramount + new episodes, CBS Sunday at 8, 7 Central.