Strike Force Five (Extended) | Truce Or Dare

Summary

The Late Show Pod Show with Stephen Colbert

Episode: Strike Force Five (Extended) | Truce Or Dare

Air Date: May 12, 2026
Participants: Stephen Colbert, Jimmy Kimmel, Jimmy Fallon, Seth Meyers, John Oliver

Episode Overview

This special episode brings together the co-hosts of the Strike Force Five podcast—Stephen Colbert, Jimmy Kimmel, Jimmy Fallon, Seth Meyers, and John Oliver—in a lively and unscripted reunion. The group riff on their shared late night experiences, reflect on their collaboration during the 2023 writer’s strike, and share inside jokes and personal anecdotes. The mood is jovial, self-deprecating, and heartfelt as Colbert approaches the end of his own “Late Show” run, sparking reflection on the future and meaning of late night TV, their unusual careers, camaraderie, and even playful rivalry.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

Opening Monologue – Satirical News Recap

[03:05–14:05]

• Stephen Colbert mocks current events, lampooning Trump’s simplistic Iran peace plan:
  “The only thing simpler than the plan is the man who has it.” – Colbert [05:43]
• Continued satirical news coverage:
  • Iran’s response to US proposals (impossible demands, uranium enrichment standoff)
  • Trump’s golden statue at his golf club and "recreational idolatry"
  • Secretary Sean Duffy’s reality TV side project
  • The recent release of secret UFO files

Memorable quote:
“A golden statue to yourself is absolutely normal. Of course he loved the statue. Who wouldn’t?” – Colbert [07:25]

Announcing the Strike Force Five Reunion

[15:16–18:12]

• Colbert mentions memorabilia auction for World Central Kitchen and shares about the Invader mosaic art piece.
• Announces the arrival of the late night team for a Strike Force Five segment:
  “My guests tonight, ladies and gentlemen, are four of my best television friends and co-hosts of the awards-ignored podcast, Strike Force Five.” – Colbert [17:45]

Reminiscing About Shared Experiences

[18:43–23:30]

• The hosts reminisce about their previous get-together for Colbert’s birthday at a downtown restaurant and an amusing interaction with British fans who recognized Kimmel and Fallon, but not Oliver or Meyers:
  “Very excited British man asked Jimmy Kimmel, whose show is not on in England…” – Seth Meyers [19:26]
• Running joke about Jon Stewart as the Designated Survivor of late night.

The Strike Force Five Origin Story

[23:11–25:30]

• John Oliver explains the podcast’s beginnings during the writer’s strike, to help pay staff salaries: “It is and always will be a group of five individuals who went on strike along with their writers… we did a podcast that paid a tiny little portion of that, and we did 12 episodes.” – Oliver [23:21]
• Stories about technical mishaps, notably Fallon’s struggle with audio equipment and mic settings: “Mine kept coming out as a chipmunk voice… and a monster. And I wasn't doing it on purpose.” – Fallon [25:05]

Questions About the Future of Strike Force (post-Colbert)

[26:05–26:41]

• Colbert wonders about his “status” after leaving “The Late Show”:
  “Do I become emeritus? And more importantly, do I lose my insurance? ‘Cause I have my insurance through Strike Force Five.” – Colbert [26:19]
• Seth Meyers jokes:
  “You’re just out, yeah. Strike Force Four, and it breaks our heart. It's like gerrymandering…” – Meyers [26:32]

Late Night’s Relevance & Cultural Role

[28:33–31:54]

• Colbert on being asked to “make a case for late night”:
  “People like it. I enjoy doing it. Why would you say that? Make a case for Late Night.” – Colbert [28:56]
• John Oliver satirizes audience numbers:
  “We have a lot of shows with like 30,000 people watching each one, right? And it adds up.” – Oliver [29:12]
• The hosts reflect on never aspiring to “late night” jobs as kids. Fallon jokes: “I never thought it was a job when I was growing up. I just thought Johnny Carson came with the television set.” – Fallon [30:43]
• Oliver jokes about wanting to be a “doula” because he “loves umbilical cords.” [31:54]

Handling Public Spotlight & Presidential Attention

[32:17–34:15]

• Colbert asks:
  “Did it ever occur to you that you'd be doing a job that the President of the United States would have strong feelings about?” – Colbert [32:17]
• The group shares stories about being referenced and even scorned by public figures, notably Oliver’s tangles with Melania Trump:
  “The saddest part of it is I realize in those moments that the only four people who care are sitting right here.” – Oliver [33:15]
• Ongoing camaraderie evident as they joke about providing “no sympathy” when one gets in hot water.

The End of Spirit Airlines—Comedic Loss

[34:21–35:32]

• Group mourns the comedic gold mine of Spirit Airlines folding:
  “It’s a perfect company to make fun of because they don’t and never did pretend to be something other than they were, which is chaos incarnate in the sky.” – Kimmel [34:51]
  “It’s a flying Waffle House.” – Colbert [34:58]

Inside the Late Night Life

[36:09–39:40]

• Discussion on the pressures of daily show production: “Describe this as like, flaming toboggan ride. Like, it’s very fun, but the whole objective is, like, let’s not hit a tree on the way down.” – Colbert [36:40]
• How they emotionally process show successes and failures: “If the show goes well, how long do you allow yourself to feel that?” – Colbert [37:16]
  “Two seconds.” – Fallon [37:20] “If it goes poorly, how long do you allow yourself to feel that?” – Colbert [37:22]
  “I’m getting better at moving on… you have one tomorrow and you have to move forward.” – Meyers [37:25]

Swapping Bit Ideas: “Good News Banana” and “Opinion Rings”

[37:42–39:35]

• Fallon thanks Colbert for gifting him the “Good News Banana” bit, while admitting to his own similar (and less successful) “Opinion Rings”:
  “I would open up onion rings and it would have fortune cookie things inside… and we'd just share our opinions.” – Fallon [38:25]
• “Go watch Good News Banana. It’s pretty fun… Don’t watch Opinion Ring.” – Fallon & Colbert [38:57]
• Pledge to perform “Good News Banana” on Fallon’s show soon.

Game Segment: Truce Or Dare

[39:35–50:20]

• The hosts play a game using paddles with their most embarrassing photos (sent by their wives), answering “most likely to” questions:
  • “Who is most likely not to watch the movie their guest is on to promote?” [44:37]
  • “Who would make out with a guest on camera?” [44:52]
  • “How many of you have made out with a guest on camera?” – Colbert [45:05]
    Colbert lists his (Sally Field, Helen Mirren, Jane Fonda—“but we did not make out. She stuck her tongue in my ear.”)
  • “Who is most likely to cry?” [47:19]
  • “Who has the highest rating on WikiFeet?” [48:13]
    “Bringing up the rear, Fallon, 4.73… STC, Stephen, 4.98.” – Colbert [49:08]

Farewell to Colbert’s Late Show & Future Aspirations

[39:54–43:40 | 50:23–End]

• John Oliver expresses hope to see Colbert show anger over his forced exit: “I'm waiting for Angry Stephen to come out. I want to see you go nuts.” – Oliver [40:03]
• The group jokes about Colbert becoming the “Regis” or “Terry Gar” fill-in for their other shows.
  • “I could just come over… I could be like your Terry Gar, your Regis.” – Colbert [42:30]
• Emotional sign-off:
  “You guys have been wonderful friends and great models for me and I’m so glad to know and love all of you. Thank you so much for being here. Always be there for you, buddy.” – Colbert [50:23]

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Trump’s “plan” for Iran:
  “It’s a very simple plan. Iran cannot have a nuclear weapon. The only thing simpler than the plan is the man who has it.” – Stephen Colbert [05:43]
• On the golden Trump statue:
  “A little suspicious to deny worshipping false idols before anyone accuses you of it…” – Stephen Colbert [07:25]
• On late night necessity:
  “People like it. I enjoy doing it. Why would you say that? Make a case for Late Night.” – Stephen Colbert [28:56]
• On working through adversity:
  “Two seconds.” – Jimmy Fallon, on how long feeling good about a successful show lasts [37:20] “I’m getting better at moving on… you have one tomorrow.” – Seth Meyers [37:25]
• On Spirit Airlines:
  “It’s a flying Waffle House.” – Stephen Colbert [34:58]
• On WikiFeet:
  “Bringing up the rear, Fallon, 4.73… and way out ahead, STC, Stephen, 4.98.” – Stephen Colbert [49:26]

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Important Timestamps

• 03:05 – Colbert’s opening and news monologue begins
• 17:45 – The Strike Force Five group welcomes and banter begins
• 23:21 – Strike Force Five podcast origin story
• 26:19 – Colbert asks about his “emeritus” status upon show departure
• 28:56 – Discussion on the future of late night
• 37:42–39:35 – Fallon and Colbert discuss “Good News Banana” and “Opinion Rings”
• 39:35–50:20 – Truce Or Dare paddle photo game
• 50:23 – Emotional farewell and final reflections from Colbert

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Episode Summary

This episode, filled with camaraderie, award-winning wit, and playful roasting, offers a rare, behind-the-curtain look at late night TV’s biggest names bonding over shared sacrifices, backstage mishaps, and the looming uncertainty of their profession. The humor is self-aware and affectionate, not sparing themselves or each other, as they navigate everything from the loss of Spirit Airlines jokes to the end of Colbert’s late-night tenure. Ultimately, it’s less about show business than about friendship, resilience, and the peculiar pressures—and joys—of making America laugh at bedtime.

Transcript

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[Stephen Colbert]

Monday, Monday. Welcome, welcome one and all to the Late Show. I'm your host, Stephen Colbert.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

You know,

[Stephen Colbert]

Folks, I want you to know that things may look dark now, but it's important to remember that soon they will be different. You know what they say, it's always darkest before the different. One thing that's not different is the war in Iran. That is very the same. Case in point, just last week, last week, Trump sent Iran a one page memo outlining his peace plan. Is this true? I'm being told we have obtained a copy of Trump's plan. Will you go to peace with me?

[Seth Meyers]

Yes.

[Stephen Colbert]

No. He also sent him one of these. He sent him one of those. Look that up. Over the weekend, Iran countered Trump's proposal by demanding, among other things, war reparations by the U.S. full Iranian sovereignty over the Strait of Hormuz, an end to sanctions and the release of seized Iranian assets. Obviously, Trump has to reject that. He can't give them more than they had before we bombed them. Hey, buddy. Hey, buddy, you talking to my girl? You want to take this outside so I can give you her number and a list of her favorite restaurants? Oh, she's going to say she doesn't want fries, but then she's going to steal some of yours and it's super cute. As for the future of their nuclear program, Iran said it was willing to suspend enrichment of uranium, but for a shorter period than the 20 year moratorium proposed by the US and 20 years isn't even that long. I mean, Anne Hathaway looks exactly the same. And if anything, Meryl Streep, Stanley Tucci and Emily Blunt are more radiant than ever. Today, Trump was asked why he rejected Iran's counter proposal. And he said few words, but so many times it was just unacceptable.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

You know, a lot of people said, well, does he have a plan? Yeah, of course I do. I have the best plan ever. But I have a plan. You know what? It is a very simple plan. I don't know why you don't Say it like it is. Iran cannot have a nuclear weapon. Very simple. Iran cannot have. It's a very simple plan. Iran cannot have a nuclear weapon. But very simply, when they say, does he have a plan? Yeah, I have a plan. The plan is very simple. I have a great plan. But the plan is they cannot have a nuclear weapon.

[Stephen Colbert]

Yes, yes, he has such a simple plan. In fact, the only thing simpler than the plan is the man who has it. You should.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

You should.

[Stephen Colbert]

Don't know what we're doing. I don't know what we're doing.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

Thank you very much.

[Stephen Colbert]

Sometime you should check out his recipe for beef Wellington. Step one, have a recipe. Step two is a very simple recipe. Step three, it's the best recipe ever. Step four, make beef Wellington. Yesterday. Is this yesterday? Is this just Monday? Today is just Monday.

[Seth Meyers]

Monday.

[Stephen Colbert]

Yesterday, Trump spent Mother's Day sharing a bunch of reposted AI memes about just how great he is, including a picture of the last thing you see before being backed over in the Bass Pro shop parking lot. He's not just spending his time reposter baiting, he's also engaging in some recreational idolatry because last week, Trump celebrated a new 22 foot golden statue of himself at his Miami golf club. Okay, surprisingly wrinkly. Looks like they forgot to steam out his pants, his shirt, and his face. Personally, I'd recommend adding a couple of handles to make it easier to pull down when we're liberated by the Canadians. The dedication was led by a MAGA pastor named Mark Burns, who posted about it afterwards in a totally normal way, saying, let me say this plainly, this is not a golden calf. A little suspicious to deny worshipping false idols before anyone accuses you of it. It's like going to Applebee's and the waiter saying, our specials tonight are the sirloin and the loaded baked potato. And as it says on my button here, our salad dressing is urine free. The pastor the past. Urine free. Salad dressing is a people pleaser. Clearly, the pastor addressed the controversy, saying, a golden statue to yourself is absolutely normal. Of course he loved the statue. Who wouldn't love a statue of themselves? I mean, again, again, Michael Jordan loved the statue of himself. Allen Iverson loved the statue of himself. Shakira the singer loved the statue of herself. Oh, Shakira, the six. Thank you for clarifying. Otherwise, I would have thought you meant Shakira the gynecologist. Hips don't lie. Now scoot em down. And the reviews are in because several pro golfers were asked about the statue and had These glowing statements. It's his place. He can do whatever he wants. And it's big in gold. Damn. As compliments go, that ranks up there with. You got a haircut. Would you look at that? It is shorter. Did they use scissors down in Washington, D.C. madness reigns. But someone who hasn't been spending a lot of time there is Transportation Secretary Sean Duffy, seen here seconds after finishing the last strand of spaghetti over the weekend. Over the weekend, Duffy, who used to be on Real World and Road Rules, announced he just finished filming a return to reality TV with his family for the last seven months. Well, it's better than him trying to run stuff. Maybe he'll inspire the rest of Trump's cabinet to neglect their own jobs. Sure, why not? Maybe he'll inspire the rest of Trump's cabinet to neglect their own jobs for reality shows like Lutnick or Listich, you Will Never Be Loved island, and the masked acting Labor Secretary Keith E. Sonderling. Duffy's reality show is called the Great American Road Trip. There's a trailer. What a beautiful family.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Can you say hi to Mr. President?

[Stephen Colbert]

Can I say hi to President Trump?

[Jimmy Kimmel]

Taking a little trip?

[John Oliver]

Yes, yes.

[Stephen Colbert]

A little trip.

[John Oliver]

All over.

[Stephen Colbert]

What? He does that all the time. What is. He does that. What is this gesture? You guys gonna check out those amber waves of grain you're talking about? Don't forget the purple mountain's majesty. You know, the grain, the hawk and the. And don't forget the canyon. Now, Duffy. Duffy had. What? What are you talking about? I'm not. Duffy had one request for his road trip. We need a song. Like, we can't do a road trip without the song. Incorrect. You can't do a road trip without trying to pair the Bluetooth failing, then accidentally connecting mom's phone, which is halfway through the horniest fantasy novel allowed by law. It's about a sorceress who meets a guy who's half duke, half horse, all penis. A throne of horse and penis, I think it's called. Duffy's wife went on the Fox and Friends to defend the show. I'm gonna be really honest. We live in a pornhub world. This is really wholesome, good family stuff. Incidentally, real good family stuff is one of the most popular categories on pornhub Friday. I don't know. I wouldn't even know. I wouldn't know. Not into that scene. Friday was a big day because the government finally released the secret files we've all been waiting for. 160 never before seen documents relating to unidentified anomalous phenomenon, which is also my pre show warm up. Unidentified anomalous phenomenon. Unidentified anomalous phenomenon. Extraterrestrial rectal probe. Extraterrestrial rectal probe also one of the most popular categories on pornhub. Trump announced. Trump announced the release of the UFO files in a post saying the Department of War has released the first tranche of the UFO UAP files for the public for their review and study. With these new documents and videos, the people can decide for themselves what the hell is going on. Have fun and enjoy. Yes, Trump is just giving the people the dots and the public can connect them however they want. There you go. There you go. So what's in these mysterious, top secret, super cool files? For example, during Apollo 12, one of the astronauts reported flashes of light. And we actually have. Is this true? We actually have footage of the astronaut describing what they saw. There were flashes of light. Thank you, Commander Dionne. Something similar happened during the Apollo 17 mission when the crew said they saw very bright particles of light that were tumbling and rotating way out in the distance. And we also have footage of the crew member spotting those tumbling particles. This even happened on the Apollo 11 moon mission where Buzz Aldrin reported seeing little flashes inside the cabin. And I can't believe this, but we actually have. This is footage of Buzz Aldrin describing those flashes. Peanut butter jelly. Peanut butter jelly. Peanut butter jelly. Peanut butter, Jelly, butter. We got a great show for you tonight

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coming up. Strike Force five.

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[Stephen Colbert]

Hey, welcome back, everybody. Give it up for l and the great big big joy mach tonight. Look, I got to. Louis, you did not warn me in rehearsal today that not only would I be facing the joy machine, but I would also be facing Ibanda Ruhumbika, Teddy Barbash, and Maddie Rice, original members of the band. Thank you so much for being here.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Thanks for having us.

[Stephen Colbert]

All right, all right, listen, I want to remind everybody out there that we are auctioning off all sorts of memorabilia from our last 11 years here at the Ed Sullivan Theater and proceeds to the international aid organization World Central Kitchen we are putting up right now. This is the last batch. This is the last batch of items online tonight. And there's some great stuff for you guys to go bid on, including, let's see, the confessional from my segment Confessions and the custom penny press we commissioned that prints late night late show images onto pennies. We are even offering an exclusive mosaic created by anonymous French street artist Invader. It's right over there, if you can see it. When I. When I first took over the late show, Invader snuck in one night and installed a mosaic that has been on the theater wall ever since. But here's the thing. Invader doesn't condone his work being removed from where he installs them to be sold. So when this show ends, that original mosaic will be destroyed along with the set. However, he has generously created a one of one replica for our auction that he calls an alias. And according to his team, Invader is sad for both the show and the mosaic disappearing, but considers that they are linked and that the mosaic shouldn't survive the place he has installed it. It will, just like the show, survive through its alias and all the memories it conveys. A sentence. A sentence that proves beyond a doubt he is a French. So if you'd like to bid on any of these great items or buy one of our commemorative the Last show shirts, head to colbertlateshow.com eBay or use this QR code right there, which itself might be an Invader mosaic. My guests tonight, ladies and gentlemen, are four of my best television friends and co hosts of the awards ignored podcast, Strike Force five. Please welcome back to the Late Show, Jimmy Kimmel, Seth Meyer, Myers, John Oliver, and Jimmy Fallon. You know what this is? This is a Monday crowd. Yeah, that's right. That's what I was gonna say.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

Throwing fish to ceilings.

[Stephen Colbert]

You got your own pandas out there. We don't get to. Yes.

[John Oliver]

Hi, Steven.

[Stephen Colbert]

Hi. Can't really hear you down here. Yeah.

[John Oliver]

You know, when I was told I was Gonna be seated farthest away from you. I assumed it was alphabetical, and then I went F O. No, no, no.

[Stephen Colbert]

Yeah, we just think. I just think you're the most aggressive, and you talk about.

[John Oliver]

Oh, I'm the loudest. Yeah.

[Stephen Colbert]

Okay. So we don't get together all that often. Last time was two years ago for my birthday.

[Seth Meyers]

Here we were.

[John Oliver]

That's right.

[Stephen Colbert]

That was fun.

[Jimmy Fallon]

That was super fun.

[Stephen Colbert]

Yeah.

[Seth Meyers]

Yeah.

[Stephen Colbert]

I wonder what they thought of us being there.

[Seth Meyers]

I was there. John and I were there first. We were surprising you.

[Stephen Colbert]

It was a restaurant downtown.

[Seth Meyers]

Restaurant downtown. And there was a British couple standing next to us.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

Correct.

[Seth Meyers]

Paid no attention to us. Mm. Kimmel came in. They lost their mind.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

Very, very, very excited British man asked Jimmy Kimmel, whose show I cannot be clear enough about. This is not on in England.

[Seth Meyers]

Yep.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

Jimmy Kimmel was so excited.

[Seth Meyers]

Asked you to take the picture.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

That's right. I took.

[Jimmy Fallon]

That's right.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

I took a photo. Then he walks in and they lost the. Oh, my God. Jimmy Fallon. This is the greatest. I said, do you want to a picture of this as well?

[Stephen Colbert]

Wait, you even talked to them and they.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

Oh, I spoke to them. Yeah.

[Seth Meyers]

By the way, also, Jimmy came in and said, hi. John Oliver and Seth Meyers used our

[Stephen Colbert]

full names of last week.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Tonight.

[Stephen Colbert]

Yeah, exactly.

[John Oliver]

You gotta change your name to Jimmy.

[Stephen Colbert]

It's a synopsis.

[Jimmy Fallon]

I walked in and everyone's like, jimmy Kimmel's here twice.

[Stephen Colbert]

Yeah.

[Jimmy Fallon]

No, he is Jimmy Kimmel.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

Seth gave them every chance and in the true British fact went, nah, I don't care about that one.

[John Oliver]

But the great thing about John is not even the slightest, people might go like, eh. Yeah, that didn't feel great. Not the slightest. But delighted. Absolutely delighted.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

The whole time I loved was like a bath of humiliation. Nothing that makes me feel cleaner than those suds.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Yeah. We kept bringing it up, the whole dinner. It was so fun for us. Yeah.

[Stephen Colbert]

Now, the five of us being here right now, obviously it's dangerous because we represent so much of later. Jon Stewart is Designated Survivor tonight. Someone has. Someone has to survive for the president to be mad at and. And do our eulogies. Wouldn't that be great if John had to do all of our eulogies?

[John Oliver]

I hope I don't get stuck in last place on that one too.

[Stephen Colbert]

Kimmel was good, too. Yeah, Kimmel was good too.

[Seth Meyers]

We fell asleep before Kimmel.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

Please, please, please just don't do my eulogy in England. They'll be burying me in an unmarked grave.

[Stephen Colbert]

Okay.

[Seth Meyers]

I got the copy of your first card. Correct.

[Stephen Colbert]

I have this right here. Oh. Oh, this.

[John Oliver]

Oh, you got an iPad.

[Stephen Colbert]

I have this. I have an iPad right here. Okay. This is a reunion for Strike Force Five.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

Oh.

[Stephen Colbert]

Oh, there you go.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Yeah, that's right.

[Stephen Colbert]

That was our sound effect. Thank you. I'm going to hand this. I'm handing this over to Seth for him to decide when we do Strike Force Five strikes.

[Seth Meyers]

Does this. If I unplug it, is it off? It won't work.

[Stephen Colbert]

It will not work if you do that.

[John Oliver]

So you have to reset it because Seth doesn't lock. I love this. The thunder sound effect.

[Seth Meyers]

I don't like the thunder. Yeah, I don't like it.

[Stephen Colbert]

So.

[Jimmy Fallon]

So every time we say Strike Force

[Seth Meyers]

Five, I will not press it.

[Jimmy Fallon]

That's when.

[Seth Meyers]

Try to hear it.

[Stephen Colbert]

Just look at it.

[Seth Meyers]

The sound effect is inside you all the time.

[John Oliver]

Seth, look at. Look at how many people are in that band.

[Stephen Colbert]

I tricked you. Oh.

[John Oliver]

I really think I figured out why you lost $40 million, Stephen. There's too many people in the.

[Stephen Colbert]

Okay. For the people who don't know what it means.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

Are they.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Sound effect.

[Stephen Colbert]

The sound effects.

[John Oliver]

Sound effects.

[Stephen Colbert]

Ha ha ha.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

This is. And there's your problem. You thought this was a one off joke. This is like giving your child a tambourine.

[Jimmy Fallon]

No, it's not.

[Stephen Colbert]

I can't believe you gave it. It didn't just come preloaded with the. I have other stuff.

[John Oliver]

Listen, there are already three trombone players over there. You don't need to play that.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Ooh, that's nice. Good.

[Stephen Colbert]

Kimball, can you please explain to the people who don't know what Strike Force Five is.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

Was.

[Stephen Colbert]

And how it got together?

[John Oliver]

Strike Force Five is.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Good luck. Good luck. Good luck.

[John Oliver]

It is and always will be a group of five individuals who went on strike along with their writers, who were paying their writers, and who. Who then really, really wanted to stop paying their staff. And so they did a podcast that paid a tiny little portion of that, and we did 12 episodes.

[Stephen Colbert]

Here we are.

[John Oliver]

It was very successful. People seem to really love it. We sold T shirts.

[Stephen Colbert]

What I like about this photo is that. I like about this photo is that it was in the summertime when we started. And we're all. If you put this back up there, is that Jimmy and Jimmy and me and Seth have got tans, and Oliver somehow got paler.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

That's right.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

I reject the concept of summer.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Yes.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

I think it's a state of mind.

[John Oliver]

Yeah.

[Jimmy Fallon]

He went to a room to match your skin color, too. Yes.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

We all had.

[John Oliver]

We'll do another episode tonight after the show. Right? We'll take.

[Stephen Colbert]

We're going to do an emergency episode of Strike Force.

[John Oliver]

That's right. That's right.

[Stephen Colbert]

It's going to be here. Yeah. Drive. Tune in. We gotta drive.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

Do you remember?

[Stephen Colbert]

That's why you still have a show.

[Jimmy Fallon]

You all really helped me out with that, because I had no idea how to record or do a podcast or do anything really.

[Seth Meyers]

Correct.

[John Oliver]

Yes.

[Jimmy Fallon]

I really.

[Stephen Colbert]

I. Kimball sent us all, like, kits with audio mics and boards and stuff like that together.

[Jimmy Fallon]

And I had this giant board with all these buttons that I didn't need. And I remember asking you for.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

No, you did need those buttons. That was the problem to me. There were some really important buttons on there. It was like connecting to a microphone. Sometimes buttons are important.

[Seth Meyers]

Record was a big one.

[Jimmy Fallon]

You can't put that in front of me. I'm like, come on.

[John Oliver]

Yeah.

[Jimmy Fallon]

I had to press all of them.

[Stephen Colbert]

You did have a little trouble putting it together.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Well, I remember trying to ask you guys for advice. Cause mine kept coming out as a chipmunk voice. Do you remember that?

[Stephen Colbert]

Yeah.

[John Oliver]

And a monster.

[Jimmy Fallon]

And a monster. And I wasn't doing it on purpose.

[Stephen Colbert]

I was going like, guys, I really need help. What do I do? Do I unplug? Do I restart? What do I do?

[Jimmy Fallon]

And I'm trying to really ask for help, but as a chipmunk. And I'm like, this is getting worse.

[John Oliver]

And I'm like, oh, this is better now.

[Jimmy Fallon]

This is better. And I go, this is a disaster. So I was just letting you guys run it. You guys. Guys are the pros and knew how to do it.

[John Oliver]

Yeah, well, we didn't mess with the equipment, which is what you did. And the problem on Strike Force five. Yeah.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Okay.

[Stephen Colbert]

I have a question.

[Seth Meyers]

I don't think he's allowed to rim shot himself. I just think I don't want to.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Like, I want to give everybody the

[Seth Meyers]

freedom to do whatever they want.

[Stephen Colbert]

Like, there had to be some rules. As a Catholic, he's not allowed to rim shot himself. We're all racing for him. We're all in for that joke.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

Come on.

[Stephen Colbert]

We're all just dying.

[Seth Meyers]

Oh, my God.

[Jimmy Fallon]

You had to. You got it. You got it.

[John Oliver]

I'm blind and a little deaf. I thought that was the thunder sound effect.

[Stephen Colbert]

I have an important question. Seth, I'll throw this one to you. You seem like a responsible person now that my show goes off the air on 21 May.

[Seth Meyers]

Thank you.

[Stephen Colbert]

Now that that happens, what is my status? Do I become emeritus? And more importantly, do I lose my insurance? Cause I Have my insurance through Strike Force Five.

[John Oliver]

Yeah.

[Seth Meyers]

That's heartbreaking. Cause you're just hard out. You're just out.

[Stephen Colbert]

I'm just out, yeah.

[Seth Meyers]

Strike Force 4, and it breaks our heart. It's like. Yeah, but it's like. It's like gerrymandering. Like, nobody likes it, but, like, once the courts rule.

[Stephen Colbert]

Yeah, that's what it is. Has the court ruled all the Strike Force One yet?

[John Oliver]

No. Don't worry. Give me a few months, it'll be Strike Force 3.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

Yeah, I was gonna say. I was gonna say.

[Stephen Colbert]

These.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

What you don't want to be is in Strike Force 2. Just looking at someone going, is it

[Jimmy Fallon]

you or is it me? Yeah. Who knows?

[Stephen Colbert]

Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Oliver, at the end of the run of Strike Force 5, two years ago, you said, and I quote, we were one week away from getting into a fight. Yes.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

I think that's fair.

[Stephen Colbert]

Tensions were rising because the strike had gone on too long, and we had run out of things to say to each other. And who do you think, if we did fight, who do you think would win? I have thoughts.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

Oh.

[Stephen Colbert]

Who do you think would win if the five of us, like, no holds

[John Oliver]

barred, the physical fight.

[Stephen Colbert]

Physical fight, all of the.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

It depends on what the fight is. It depends. Are we talking Muay Thai? Is this a battle of wits?

[Jimmy Fallon]

Yeah.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

If you're allowed to take off a velvet glove and slap someone across the face with it and demand your satisfaction, I think I'm in with a shot. If it's what I would call rough and tumble. No, thank you.

[Stephen Colbert]

Yeah.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Yeah.

[John Oliver]

I think John wins, and I'll tell you why. First of all, he's downplaying his physical abilities. Secondly, his wife was in the military.

[Stephen Colbert]

That's true.

[Seth Meyers]

Right, Right.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Yeah.

[John Oliver]

So, you know, that's wild in bed.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Right?

[Jimmy Kimmel]

That is a good point. She will not let any of you hurt me. So you're all, I'm winning that fight. Like a 17th century British general. Please send my troops in to deal with

[Jimmy Fallon]

you.

[John Oliver]

Call your wife your troops.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

Yeah.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Yeah.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

It's a pet name.

[Stephen Colbert]

Late Night is in a bit of a weird spot right now. Spoiler alert. And people questioning its future. I have been asked this question more like three times over the last ten months in various interviews. They go like, make a case for Late Night. I'm like, what do you mean? And I go, like, make a case for it. Like, why should it continue to exist? I'm like, people like it. I enjoy doing it. Why would you say that? Make a case for Late Night.

[John Oliver]

Well, I would say that in my. Well, I look at the figures and the fact of the matter is more people are watching late night television now than, and I know everybody gets crazy than when Johnny Carson. Now obviously Johnny Carson had a lot of people watching one show, but we have a lot of shows with like 30,000 people watching each one, right? And it adds up. And people watch us on YouTube now and people have a lot of different options and yet they still, they keep coming to us. And I will tell you, when I got knocked off the air for a few days, people.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Thank you. People press the hi hat.

[John Oliver]

People cancelled. People canceled Disney. Why isn't,

[Stephen Colbert]

why,

[John Oliver]

why aren't you, why aren't you people canceling Paramount? Cause you didn't have it in the first place.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

Well, Jimmy, Jimmy, until the deal goes through, if I could just do a counter there, Paramount might have some good programming. Unless it's not going through, which case it can go itself now and forever.

[Stephen Colbert]

Let's like tap the brake for sure.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

Let's know reasonable people can disagree on the utility of Paramount.

[Stephen Colbert]

Right?

[Jimmy Kimmel]

Right, Stephen?

[Stephen Colbert]

100%.

[John Oliver]

Why should you have to defend late night? I mean, why should that question even be asked? You don't hear like, Ryan Seacrest doesn't get asked that question about the Wheel of Fortune or whatever the hell he's hosting.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

I would actually like to hear Ryan Seacrest defend Wheel of Fortune. I would like someone next to say, defend Wheel of Fortune's right to exist. And I am going to be leaning forward waiting for what he says.

[Jimmy Fallon]

I think late night is one of those things that's been around our whole lives and we're kind of, it's just in, it's part of our lives. I never thought it was a job when I was growing up. I just thought Johnny Carson came with the television set. I didn't know. But you know, you watch it and people want to go to sleep having a good laugh and go to bed

[John Oliver]

happy and go, not before Seth.

[Stephen Colbert]

Not before Seth.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

Not before Seth.

[John Oliver]

No, they stay up, they go right to sleep.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

That is Jesus.

[Jimmy Fallon]

They wake back up for Seth's death.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

And then the whole then they go to sleep problem with the way you end your show anyway, that's the tonight's show.

[Stephen Colbert]

When you're like, go to sleep right now. Go to bed.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Yes, Sorry about that.

[Seth Meyers]

Also, if you've got a disease, Seth song.

[Jimmy Fallon]

I'm sorry about that.

[Stephen Colbert]

How many was anybody. Was it the goal to have a late night show for anybody?

[Seth Meyers]

No, not for me.

[Stephen Colbert]

Not for me.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

No. I wanted to be a football player.

[Seth Meyers]

Yeah.

[Stephen Colbert]

By what you mean soccer player. Football.

[Jimmy Fallon]

There you go.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

Thank you very much, mate. Thank you very much. He doesn't know who I am.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Yeah, that's him.

[Stephen Colbert]

No one would agree with me. Do you have any tickets to any of the World cup stuff?

[Jimmy Kimmel]

No, not yet. No. I'll try and get in like a hooligan. I'll fight my way in with my wife.

[Stephen Colbert]

Didn't wear suspenders and jack boots.

[Jimmy Fallon]

I don't think anything.

[John Oliver]

I wanted to be a doula.

[Seth Meyers]

That's amazing. You were very. I did not learn that.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

That's a great.

[John Oliver]

I love umbilical cords and snipping them.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

That's.

[Stephen Colbert]

No.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

Okay. That's the worst reason to do it.

[Stephen Colbert]

That's.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

That's when you say that at your doula interview. I just love umbilical cords. It's like, actually, there's.

[Stephen Colbert]

I love. All correct.

[Seth Meyers]

Did you guys.

[Stephen Colbert]

Did you guys. When you were younger, especially when you were starting out in comedy, did it ever occur to you that you'd be doing a job that the President of the United States would have strong feelings about? No. No.

[John Oliver]

You know what's even weirder? Doing a job that his wife has strong feelings about.

[Seth Meyers]

Well, most of us have avoided that part.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

Yeah.

[John Oliver]

Yeah, that's true.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Yeah. That's why you're at the end of the couch.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

It's amazing now. It's an amazing thing to get in a group text. Just a text from Jimmy saying, oh, boy. And then a picture of Melania mad at him.

[Stephen Colbert]

You know, we all get very excited.

[Jimmy Fallon]

And then I sent a text to you guys that I said, hey, don't be mad at me. But I. I liked it.

[Stephen Colbert]

Yeah.

[Jimmy Fallon]

I think she's got a point. I think she's got a point.

[Stephen Colbert]

We're all kind of happy. We're all kind of happy when you get in trouble over there and how do you feel when you wake up and you see the attention?

[John Oliver]

The saddest part of it is I realize in those moments that the only four people who care are sitting right here the rest of the day. It takes 12 hours for the rest of the people in my life to even figure out that anything's going on. Two hours after that, a guy I used to work with sent me a text. He's like, hey, I could do, you know, a real estate lawyer. I was like, real estate lawyer?

[Jimmy Fallon]

I'm in trouble.

[Seth Meyers]

The thing I like is that he always posts, like, when the show actually aired. And I do want to say, like, I appreciate that he is watching linear television.

[John Oliver]

Yeah. You Know he's the only one level.

[Stephen Colbert]

Seth, more people are watching late night than ever before.

[Seth Meyers]

Yeah, well, if I would make my case for late night, it's that, you know, weirdly, he. Leaders of the free world are watching him when it airs.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Yeah.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

He would be the only person who I would like just to go the to sleep, to be honest.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Yeah.

[Stephen Colbert]

Do you enjoy how much we give you when you get in trouble?

[John Oliver]

I do.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

I don't.

[Stephen Colbert]

Because my favorite thing is how much sympathy we don't give you.

[John Oliver]

Yeah, yeah. I'm not looking for sympathy. I'm looking for the jokes. Really? Yeah. I love it. Yeah.

[Stephen Colbert]

Okay. Some things you can't appreciate if you don't do this job. Were you sad when Spirit Airlines went out of business?

[Jimmy Fallon]

Wow, that was a lot of material.

[John Oliver]

I know. And I remember you saying this to me years ago. You said, when Spirit goes, I go.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Yeah, yeah, you said.

[Stephen Colbert]

That's True story that happened. Yeah. No, that has a real true story. You're getting your word.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

It's a perfect company to make fun of because they don't and never did pretend to be something other than they were, which is chaos incarnate in the sky.

[Stephen Colbert]

Yes. So it's a flying. It's a Flying Waffle House. Yeah.

[Seth Meyers]

And it's a.

[Stephen Colbert]

It's not just in the same color. Exactly.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

It's not just comedically that you miss something. On an emotional level. It was always nice to know that humanity created flight and then at one point progressed to the point where you would have, like, this fight happening in the sky. I used to like the idea looking up on a clear blue sky and thinking, somewhere up there, someone's getting into a fist fight over $8 water. I think we've lost something.

[Jimmy Fallon]

I. I think it's one of the best airlines to get duct taped to your chair.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

They said that.

[Stephen Colbert]

They said, what are we doing on time? What's going on over there? Are we over?

[Jimmy Fallon]

Did you see six, seven? Yes, he did. Yeah, he did.

[Stephen Colbert]

Six, seven, that starts.

[Seth Meyers]

That's how much we're over.

[Jimmy Fallon]

That's how much we're over. Yeah, we're always at six, half. Kevin.

[Stephen Colbert]

We're rapping. We're over. We're over. At this point, we've already done our 20.

[John Oliver]

You got a bunch of short timers working here right now.

[Seth Meyers]

Let's get going, baby.

[Stephen Colbert]

Let's keep going. Boo Boo Boo. What's up, Boo Boo?

[Jimmy Kimmel]

This is exactly what people hate about you, Boo Boo.

[Stephen Colbert]

How long were you off there, Kimmel?

[John Oliver]

Three days.

[Stephen Colbert]

How did the Republic Go on.

[John Oliver]

Let me tell you something.

[Stephen Colbert]

I can't believe this country survived with three days ago.

[John Oliver]

I can't wait for you to experience this. There's a whole world out there. Do you know that? There are establishments where you can sit down, they will bring you food and you can have lunch.

[Seth Meyers]

Oh, my God.

[Stephen Colbert]

In the middle of the day, you've had lunch outside or never leave. It's always at their desk. You never eat. You never like people. My friends go, hey, I'm coming to town. You want to go have lunch?

[Jimmy Kimmel]

I'm like, what do you think?

[Stephen Colbert]

Are you talking about. Exactly how would you describe the process of your day? Like, I describe this as like, flaming toboggan ride. Like, it's very fun, but the whole objective is, like, let's not hit a tree on the way down.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Yeah.

[Stephen Colbert]

What's your process like there, Fallon?

[Jimmy Fallon]

For me, I stress out all day just hoping that we get some type of show together and that we can just somehow. I know that we have so many people working on the show and writers write great stuff, but I'm just like, are we changing that? Are we doing that? I'm way overthinking everything, and I'm so relieved when it's done. I'm like, we did another hour.

[Stephen Colbert]

Fooled them again.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Yes. Yes, we did it. I'm so happy. I'm like, oh, we did another good show. I stress out all day.

[Stephen Colbert]

If the show goes well, how long. How long do you allow yourself to feel that, fellas?

[Jimmy Fallon]

Two seconds?

[John Oliver]

No. Minutes.

[Stephen Colbert]

If it goes poorly, how long do you allow yourself to feel that?

[Seth Meyers]

I'm getting better. I'm getting better. No, I'm getting better at moving on. I think one of the gifts of these shows is when you remember you have one tomorrow and you kind of have to move forward.

[Stephen Colbert]

Sure.

[Seth Meyers]

Like, I think that. Yeah, it's healthy to just think about

[Stephen Colbert]

the next one, you know, it was great. So what Seth is saying, he no longer cares.

[Seth Meyers]

I think that's a faster way to

[Jimmy Fallon]

say, last time I came on here, you were very generous and gave me a gift. I don't know if you remember this. You gave me a bit that you tried on this show that we did

[Stephen Colbert]

a bit once on the show called Good Luck Banana. No, Good News Banana. Good News Banana.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Excuse me. Good News Banana.

[Seth Meyers]

Good Luck Banana would have worked.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

That would have been great.

[John Oliver]

Good luck.

[Jimmy Fallon]

I'll rewrite it.

[Stephen Colbert]

And then we would hand bananas to people, and they would peel the banana, and inside there'd be a message. Oh, and it was good news. For them.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Thank you. Thank you for giving me that bit.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

Yeah.

[Stephen Colbert]

Now, you said I gave him the banana costume.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Yes.

[Stephen Colbert]

And you said you would do it, but you also said at the same time you had just done something similar to it called Opinion Rings.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Oh, yeah, I just.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

What?

[Jimmy Fallon]

Yeah, yeah. We had a bit in the show called. That was a big hit. These guys are.

[Stephen Colbert]

Everybody knows Opinion.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Opinion Rings. Opinion Rings. Opinion. Yeah, they're all doing it. But we'll add it in post. We'll add it in post. But we did a bit. It was called Opinion Rings where I would open up onion rings and it would have fortune cookie things inside, and I would read to my guests and we'd just share our opinions on different.

[Seth Meyers]

Can I just say, if I had done anything as bad as either of these, I would not be able to move on.

[Stephen Colbert]

This

[Seth Meyers]

is what I'm talking about.

[Stephen Colbert]

Go watch Good News Banana. It's pretty fun. So I gave.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Don't watch Opinion Ring.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

I am definitely watching Opinion Rings now.

[Stephen Colbert]

You said you would do it. I'm holding your feet to the fire. Will you do Good News Bananas at some point?

[Jimmy Fallon]

Without a doubt. In honor of you, I will do Good News Banana. Absolutely.

[John Oliver]

I suggest. May I be so bold as suggest that you throw the Opinion Rings onto the Good News Banana. And really, that's a double whammy.

[Seth Meyers]

That's a good dip or two wrongs don't make a right.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Well, there's that, too.

[Stephen Colbert]

Yeah, there's that, too.

[Jimmy Fallon]

I'll give it my best.

[Stephen Colbert]

All right. Thank you, man. Thank you. We're going to move on to. We're going to move on to a game now.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Oh, I love that.

[Stephen Colbert]

Okay. We're going to move on to a game before we move on to the game. You're all fine hosts and leaders of shows in your own right. Is there anything that we have not touched on before we move on to this? I'm curious.

[John Oliver]

The outrage that your show is being thrown off the air

[Stephen Colbert]

that he was that same. Yeah. Weird.

[John Oliver]

I mean, that's. I hope that in this, you know, I really. I'm waiting for Angry Steven to come out. I want to see you go nuts. Just kind of let, you know.

[Stephen Colbert]

Let me tell you something.

[John Oliver]

You guys have no idea.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

Exactly when they shouted at Bruce Banner in the lab before things were went south.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Bruce, Bruce, Bruce.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

Uh oh.

[John Oliver]

When this guy takes off his glasses and shakes out his hair, it's the sexiest damn thing you've ever seen.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Yeah.

[John Oliver]

And that's what I'm.

[Stephen Colbert]

I'm curious. I'm Curious. You guys started before I did. Like, each one of you, your shows you're doing. Each started before this show.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

Yeah.

[Stephen Colbert]

And then you're going to be here after I'm here. I'm like the. Like. You're like the candy shell. I'm the new filling that came in and then somebody came along and just sucked it out.

[John Oliver]

Yeah.

[Stephen Colbert]

I feel like I'm. I'm being.

[John Oliver]

It's like when your young wife dies. Yeah.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

That is

[Jimmy Fallon]

what's wrong with him. That's why he's sitting there. He can't sit here.

[Stephen Colbert]

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. It's when What? Oh, my God. What is it like?

[John Oliver]

I think my young wife is in the back.

[Seth Meyers]

Can you say it again? I think this one is rim shot right into sad trombone.

[Stephen Colbert]

Yeah, that's right. Ready?

[John Oliver]

It's like when your young wife dies. I wish I could hear any of that.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

I can't hear.

[Stephen Colbert]

Yeah, that is.

[John Oliver]

My wife knows what I'm talking about.

[Stephen Colbert]

Yeah, right.

[John Oliver]

That is sad is what I'm saying. It's such a tragedy.

[Stephen Colbert]

It is gone too soon.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

The perfect opinion ring.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

Yeah.

[Seth Meyers]

Well, for him on the banana and for the wife, a bad news banana.

[Jimmy Fallon]

I think it's odd the way it ended for you. I didn't see.

[Stephen Colbert]

I was quite surprised.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Oh, yeah?

[John Oliver]

Yeah.

[Stephen Colbert]

And I was quite surprised.

[Jimmy Fallon]

And it's a bummer because I wanted to do this longer with you.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

That's it. You're talking in network television. It's odd. It's a surprise. As someone from a different area of television, I can say it was some fresh bull.

[Stephen Colbert]

Yeah, that's nice. I can't.

[Seth Meyers]

But I. I want to Now I can.

[Stephen Colbert]

Now I can be guests on. On all your shows.

[John Oliver]

You can host my show.

[Stephen Colbert]

I could. In the summertime.

[Seth Meyers]

I mean, it takes the whole year.

[Stephen Colbert]

Yeah. I could be like your Regis. You could just go like, ah, we're stuck. Yes. I could just come over.

[John Oliver]

I would love that.

[Stephen Colbert]

I could be like your Terry Gar. Your Regis.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Yes, you would be fun. Anytime you want to. Come on, be the greatest. I love you so much.

[Stephen Colbert]

Like Gwen would be helpful to you.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

Well,

[Jimmy Fallon]

take your time. Take your time.

[Stephen Colbert]

Enjoy. Give me a ballpark. Enjoy a little ballpark.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Well, enjoy a little time off. Yeah.

[Stephen Colbert]

Okay. All right, so here's what we got here, guys. Each one of these, we have these paddles. I don't even know how this works. Oh, everybody take one and pass it on. Wait, there's only three of each.

[John Oliver]

Are we gonna spank each other?

[Jimmy Fallon]

Wait, you haven't done these before.

[Stephen Colbert]

Well, they're double sided. Okay, so pass these down. Everybody's got a set, right? Everybody's got a set of these, these, and then there you go.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Perfect.

[Seth Meyers]

There you go.

[Stephen Colbert]

All right. There you go. You pass it down. Okay, so if you take the rubber band off. Oh. On each side. There's. There's.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

Oh, no, there's our wives. I see.

[Stephen Colbert]

I see.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Okay.

[Stephen Colbert]

Our wives sent in the worst photos they could find of us. If you. There's Kimmel. Oh, no. There's Fallon. There's me. Me. There's Oliver. And there's Seth. Okay, so I'm gonna ask a series of questions.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

I don't like this.

[Stephen Colbert]

No, I'm necessarily.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

There's a pretty root one between this. This.

[John Oliver]

I like this.

[Stephen Colbert]

Best part of Strike Force 5 was getting to know you all better. It says here tonight.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

It says.

[John Oliver]

Okay.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Yeah, it says right there. Yeah.

[Stephen Colbert]

Tonight, though, the gloves come off and we find out what we really think of each other. My writers came up with some most likely two questions. Here, you'll need these paddles. Distribute. These photos were sent by your wives. I did that part. Here we go. Most likely to. Who is most likely not to watch the movie their guest is on to promote?

[Jimmy Kimmel]

Well, he does.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Really?

[Jimmy Kimmel]

Oh, right.

[Stephen Colbert]

I didn't know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You don't have guests, though.

[John Oliver]

I know. That's why I put John.

[Seth Meyers]

He doesn't. Yeah, but I feel like if John had guests, he also wouldn't watch.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

I wouldn't.

[John Oliver]

Yeah.

[Jimmy Fallon]

I keep forgetting.

[Stephen Colbert]

Oh, okay. Who would make out with a guest on camera?

[John Oliver]

Oh.

[Stephen Colbert]

How many of you have made out with a guest on camera?

[Jimmy Fallon]

I mean, you look at me like that.

[Stephen Colbert]

Because I think you've made out with guests on camera.

[Jimmy Fallon]

No, I think you just wanted to make out with me.

[Seth Meyers]

Wow.

[John Oliver]

Did not see a good.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Did not see that.

[Stephen Colbert]

Good. You went pretty fast with it, though. Have you guys ever made out with a guest on camera? No. No.

[John Oliver]

Yeah. When you kissed Regis once. Regis. Yeah. Regis. Not only did I. I kiss Regis, he chewed my gum.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

Regis kissed me on the top of the head when I was standing in for. He kissed me on the top of the head. It felt like someone in the mafia labeling someone for a hit. It's no way to say goodbye to a human being.

[Seth Meyers]

I met Regis multiple times. He never made a move on me.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Sorry. Martin Short.

[Stephen Colbert]

Martin Short.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Martin Short. Yeah. On Ate out with you. Yeah, but not on my show. At a bar.

[Seth Meyers]

It was for charity.

[Jimmy Fallon]

It was at a bar.

[Stephen Colbert]

No one was marathons.

[Jimmy Fallon]

We were on snl, we had to do a bit where he kissed me or whatever. And he goes. He goes, jimmy. I go, yeah, I'll be fine. You just kiss me. He goes, hey, I won't. No tongue. I go, don't worry about it.

[Stephen Colbert]

Is he afraid of the.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Don't worry about it? Of course I won't do it. What are you talking about, dude? We do the sketch live. He looks at me full on tone. Full on, full on. More than I've ever made out with

[Stephen Colbert]

anyone in high school.

[Seth Meyers]

Thought like, we were about to get me to. It's like Regis Martin Short.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Yeah, exactly.

[Stephen Colbert]

For me. Sally Field, Helen Mirren. Oh, goodness. Alison Janney, Jeff Daniels and founder. A what? Andrew Garfield. Jane Fonda. And I did not. Jane Fonda did not. We did not make out. But she stuck her tongue in my ear.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

Okay, that's not making out in England.

[Seth Meyers]

Not in America.

[Stephen Colbert]

In America.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

Fifth base in England.

[Stephen Colbert]

Okay, who is most likely to have written Italian novels under the name Elena Ferrante? Oh. Who is most likely to cry?

[John Oliver]

Oh, come on. Come on.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

Where is he?

[Jimmy Fallon]

I just.

[John Oliver]

You trying to make me cry?

[Jimmy Fallon]

I'm just going to do it for. I'm just going to do it for. Yeah, I'm just going to do it.

[Stephen Colbert]

Come on.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

Come on.

[Stephen Colbert]

Okay, who is most likely to be doing a Cash for Gold commercial in the next five years?

[Jimmy Fallon]

You have to do five years if

[Seth Meyers]

you make it five.

[Stephen Colbert]

Okay, who is. Okay. And this is by. This is. This is more than an opinion. I know the answer to this. Who has the Highest rating on WikiFeet? Oh, you know what Wikifeet is? It's a place where people who enjoy looking at feet and Wait. Wow, celebrities feed. Who's got the Highest rating on WikiFeet?

[Seth Meyers]

Oh, all right, I'm gonna say Fallon. Cause I know he puts. Don't you put onions in your socks?

[John Oliver]

Oh, yeah, you do.

[Stephen Colbert]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Jimmy Fallon]

I did it once.

[Stephen Colbert]

You chop up a little red onions.

[John Oliver]

I did it once.

[Jimmy Fallon]

I did it once.

[Stephen Colbert]

You're socks. Right.

[Jimmy Fallon]

I was sick and someone told me to put onions, Raw onions in my socks and put a Ziploc bag over my feet and go to bed.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

Yeah.

[Seth Meyers]

And Stevo,

[Jimmy Fallon]

I did it once. I put. Yeah.

[Stephen Colbert]

And so I put.

[Jimmy Fallon]

I put onions on my soles of my feet and I put Ziploc bags in rubber bands. Yes. And I went to sleep and Nancy was there. My wife was in bed with me. Yeah.

[Stephen Colbert]

And did you have a pizza on the sideboard as you sometimes do? That's Another thing we learned from Strike Force Five is sometimes you'll have an entire pie on the sideboard and you'll eat one slice.

[Jimmy Fallon]

No, I eat pizza in bed sometimes when I'm watching. Yeah. And like. Yeah, again, you're right. Dinner in bed. Yeah, I'll offer her some. I am not rude.

[Stephen Colbert]

I don't think our issue is when

[Seth Meyers]

you were hogging the pizza.

[Jimmy Fallon]

I just. I'm not rude. I go, would you, would you like something? Hoping that she says no.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

And she says no. That's not what I'm mad about right now.

[Stephen Colbert]

Here are the scores. These are the wiki feed scores we checked today. Okay, Bringing up the rear, Fallon, 4.73. Out of five.

[John Oliver]

Oniony onion number four.

[Stephen Colbert]

Kimmel, 4.75. Oliver, 4.76. Seth, 4.77. And way out ahead, STC, Steven, 4.98. Gentlemen.

[Seth Meyers]

Look at that.

[Stephen Colbert]

AR so you.

[Seth Meyers]

So you actually, you actually have time in the day to go on WikiFeet and give yourself five stars.

[Stephen Colbert]

That's Wiki interns do. I thought this job would be different. Gentlemen, gentlemen. What a delight. Thank you so much for being here.

[Jimmy Fallon]

No, I.

[Stephen Colbert]

Before I. Before I got one of these gifts, before I got one of these gigs, obviously I enjoyed your work and I respected what you did. What I didn't know at all was what the job was like. And I thought I had a job over at Comedy Central, which we realize now, which is like running a college newspaper. It was like we worked really hard, but like the, the demands and the pressures of these jobs are different than anything I expected. And you guys have been wonderful friends and great models for me and I'm so glad to know and love all of you. Thank you so much for being here. Always be there for you, buddy.

[Seth Meyers]

Love you, Steven.

[Stephen Colbert]

An all new video episode of Strike Force 5 will be available on Wednesday. Thank you for listening to the late Show POD show with Stephen Colbert. Just one more thing. If you want to see more of me, come to The Late Show YouTube channel for more clips and exclusives.

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[Stephen Colbert]

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[Stephen Colbert]

Thank you.

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