Transcript
Stephen Colbert (0:00)
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Stephen Colbert (1:35)
Welcome my fellow Americans, to the Late Show. I'm your host, Stephen Colbert. Ladies and gentlemen, we are check your calendars. We are on day 34 of the government shutdown, which means as of today, you are inspecting your own meats. If it moves, it's not meat yet. There's so many bad parts of a government shutdown. But the worst so far is that as of this weekend, nearly 42 million Americans have lost their food stamp benefits. And no one, exactly. No one should understand the importance of daily meals more than Donald Trump. Hungry. Hungry is his favorite emotion. It's his whole thing. Trump and food is like JFK and sex. Or Thomas Jefferson and sex. Or Lincoln and his hat, which he had sex with. That's why Mary Todd went crazy. The administration says they couldn't use USDA emergency funds for snap. But thankfully, on Friday, a federal judge directed the Trump administration to use those emergency funds to pay for food aid in November. Of course, like all good news during the Trump administration, he managed to make it. The administration says they'll only partially fund snap, and it could take months because the administration declined to dip into other contingency pots to fund the full $8 billion needed to cover SNAP. I'm sorry, I stopped listening because I got hungry after. The word dip is the dip in the pot. So Trump and his people are sitting on a pile of money while American children go hungry just so they can put pressure on Democrats? Well, I think food insecurity should not be weaponized. And if you agree, you can scan this QR code right here to support some great groups working to keep Americans fed. Feeding America Give Directly Meals on Wheels and World Central Kitchen. And once you've done that, as a little treat, you can scan this QR code for a video of a baby monkey riding a duck. Here's a taste that's food for the soul. Of course. With tens of millions of Americans facing hunger this weekend, the President showed sensitive leadership and hosted a Great Gatsby Halloween party hours before SNAP funding lapsed. I keep thinking Donald Trump is incapable of shocking me, and then he does something outrageous like implying that he's read a book. This Great Gatsby party was just as dumb as you'd expect. Judge Jeanine went as a flapper and Donald Trump went as, I think, tan mom. Trump didn't seem too concerned about optics, which is why the sit down meal featured laggy dames doing some titillating feather swishing. Yes, all the glitz and glamour of a strip club at lunchtime. The reformers weren't dancing the whole time. Sometimes they were wriggling for his amusement in giant martini glasses. Mr. President, come on. There's a shutdown. Read the room. There are people in this country sending their children to bed without a bite to eat or a woman to drink. Now, it wouldn't be. It wouldn't be a spooky Halloween without the appearance of Rudy Giuliani. He celebrated the holiday with this costumed podcast. Is that land?
