'Weird Al' Yankovic's Colbert Questionert

Summary

Podcast Summary: "Weird Al" Yankovic's Colbert Questionert

Podcast: The Late Show Pod Show with Stephen Colbert
Host: Stephen Colbert
Guest: "Weird Al" Yankovic
Date: February 15, 2026

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Overview

In this lively and humorous episode, Stephen Colbert sits down with comedy icon and musical satirist "Weird Al" Yankovic for the "Colbert Questionert"—a series of 15 quirky, rapid-fire questions designed to peel back the layers of celebrity guests and reveal their true selves. The two riff hilariously on Al’s peculiar tastes, formative memories, and deep life philosophies. The conversation is packed with playful banter and earnest confessions, making it equally entertaining and genuinely revealing.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

Introduction and Purpose of the Questionert

• [01:44] Colbert introduces Weird Al as an honored guest, noting his enduring fandom since high school and explaining the goal: "It opens them up, it fillets them like a fish in front of them. Do you have the Courage to be known?"
• [02:24] Weird Al responds: "Well, it's often been said that I'm an enigma wrapped in a riddle. But I think if anybody can peel this onion, I think it's you, Steven."

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The Colbert Questionert: Weird Al’s Answers

1. Best Sandwich

• [02:43]
  • Al: "Twinkie wiener sandwich."
  • Recipe [02:49]: Split a Twinkie, insert a hot dog, cover with spray cheese, dunk in milk, then bite.

2. First Concert Attended

• [03:19]
  • Al: "Elton John at the LA Forum in the mid-70s...I was up in the nosebleed seats...earlier this year, I got to actually play the LA Forum and I got to give a shout out to the people up in the nosebleed seats. Nice little circle of lights thing."

3. Scariest Animal

• [04:11]
  • Al: In deference to Colbert’s old persona, "I need to say bears...Although, you know, statistically, more people are killed by mosquitoes..."
  • Colbert: "Bears are—They're godless killing machines."

4. Apples or Oranges

• [04:39]
  • Al: "For juice? Orange juice. And for eating? Apples."

5. Asking for Autographs

• [05:00]
  • Al: Not big on autographs but as a kid, "the very first autograph I ever got was ... Myron Florin, the accordion player for the Lawrence Welk Show. Yes, in a box."

6. What Happens When We Die

• [05:41]
  • Al: Echoes Keanu Reeves' answer: "When you die, your body is slowly eaten by worms and various microorganisms, and then your bones slowly crumble, and then you go to heaven. I think that's beautiful."

7. Favorite Action Movie

• [06:20]
  • Al: "Raiders of the Lost Ark... It's a perfect action adventure movie...such a throwback to a time...when it was pretty much universally believed that the Nazis were the bad guys."

8. Window or Aisle

• [06:51]
  • Al: "I've got a bladder of steel, so window. And also, I can see the gremlin on the wing if it ever shows up."

9. Favorite Smell

• [07:01]
  • Al: "I don't have a really great sense of smell...I'm gonna say gardenia...my mother had planted gardenia bushes in our backyard...it reminds me of childhood."

10. Least Favorite Smell

• [07:27]
  • Al (deadpan): "Rotting, burnt human flesh slathered with fecal matter and vomit."

11. Earliest Memory

• [07:47]
  • Al's Story: At age two, all family dressed as clowns for his birthday: "...everybody that I knew and loved dearly was suddenly this grotesque monster...me screaming my head off the entire time."
  • [08:48] Al: "I actually have Puddles pity party opening for me on the tour. He's a seven foot clown, so I guess I've gotten over it."

12. Cats or Dogs

• [08:54]
  • Al: "Oh, dogs. We have a lovely poodle at home."

13. One Song for the Rest of Your Life

• [09:11]
  • Al: "I would probably pick the song that would drive me crazy the quickest...probably Achy Breaky Heart or Merry Go Round by Oilman Fisher."

14. What Number Am I Thinking Of?

• [09:50]
  • Al attempts to narrow it down by asking Colbert questions, leading to playful stalling before Colbert says "27" ([10:26]).

15. Describe the Rest of Your Life in Five Words

• [10:40]
  • Al: "Be kind, bring joy, Repeat."

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Memorable Moments & Notable Quotes

• Al on his first concert:
  "I was up in the nosebleed seats. You know, I practically had to run away from home to buy tickets because my folks didn't want me...impressionable young teenage kid going to this, like, big, dirty, nasty rock show." [03:33]
• On death (paraphrasing Keanu Reeves):
  "Your body is slowly eaten by worms and various microorganisms, and then your bones slowly crumble, and then you go to heaven. I think that's beautiful." [06:15]
• Colbert, on bears:
  "Bears are—They're godless killing machines." [04:16]
• On favorite smell:
  "Whenever I smell a gardenia, I had that ratatouille dolly zoom in my brain, like I become a child again." [07:09]
• On earliest memory:
  "...everybody that I knew and loved dearly was suddenly this grotesque monster. And I only remember really what I've seen in the home movies, which is me screaming my head off the entire time." [08:04]
• Closing, five words for the rest of his life:
  "Be kind, bring joy, Repeat." [10:40]
• Colbert’s send-off:
  "Congratulations, Al. You are known. Finally, greet Al Yankovic, everybody." [10:48]

---

Timestamps for Key Segments

• [01:44] Introduction and premise
• [02:39] Colbert Questionnaire begins
• [02:43] Best sandwich
• [03:19] First concert
• [04:11] Scariest animal
• [04:39] Apples or oranges
• [05:00] Autographs
• [05:41] Life after death
• [06:20] Favorite action movie
• [06:51] Window or aisle
• [07:01] Favorite smell
• [07:27] Least favorite smell
• [07:47] Earliest memory
• [08:54] Cats or dogs
• [09:11] One song for the rest of your life
• [09:50] What number am I thinking of?
• [10:40] Five words for the rest of your life
• [10:48] Episode close

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Final Thoughts

This episode offers a fun and fast-paced peek into the mind of Weird Al, blending his off-kilter humor with moments of genuine reflection. Whether detailing his infamous "Twinkie wiener sandwich" or speaking earnestly about family, loss, and kindness, Al’s answers are as surprising as they are authentic. Colbert steers the Questionnaire with his trademark wit, ensuring both meaningful reveals and plenty of laughs. For fans, or anyone curious about the man behind the parodies, it’s a must-listen.

Transcript

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[Stephen Colbert]

Hey, everybody. You know who that is? The man needs no introduction at all. It's Weird Al Yankovic. Weird Al, it's always wonderful to see you, talk to you. I'm a longtime fan.

[Weird Al Yankovic]

Thank you.

[Stephen Colbert]

As I told you since I was a sophomore in high school with my bologna.

[Commercial Narrator]

Yep.

[Stephen Colbert]

But here's the thing. As much as I've paid attention to your career and the opportunity I've had to meet you, it's just hard to get to know somebody in just little snippets like we normally have here. Which is why we have something called the Colbert Questionnaire, where I ask some of my more honored guests, the guests who are more illustrious, 15 questions here that allows the audience to truly know who they are. It opens them up, it fillets them like a fish in front of them. I just want. Do you have the Courage to be known.

[Weird Al Yankovic]

Well, it's often been said that I'm an enigma wrapped in a riddle. But I think if anybody can peel this onion, I think it's you, Steven. I have faith in you. Let's do this.

[Stephen Colbert]

Weird Al, what is the best sandwich?

[Weird Al Yankovic]

Twinkie wiener sandwich.

[Stephen Colbert]

How do you make a Twinkie wiener sandwich?

[Weird Al Yankovic]

It was featured in my movie uhf. Thank you. Please sit down. Please sit down, sit down.

[Stephen Colbert]

Okay, you suck out the cream and put the wiener in.

[Weird Al Yankovic]

Let me go through it. So you take a Twinkie and you split it lengthwise and you put in a hot dog, AKA wiener, in the middle, and you put spray cheese on the top. And for the full effect, you dunk it in a glass of milk and then take a bite. So.

[Stephen Colbert]

What was your first concert that you attended?

[Weird Al Yankovic]

First rock show. Elton John at the LA forum in the mid-70s. Wow.

[Stephen Colbert]

Were we talking Captain Fantastic and the Brown Dirt Cowboy?

[Weird Al Yankovic]

That might have.

[Stephen Colbert]

Don't Shoot me a moment of the Piano Player. What are we talking about?

[Weird Al Yankovic]

I think. Well, it was. I think it might have been just after Goodbye Yellow Brick Road.

[Stephen Colbert]

Oh, well, that.

[Weird Al Yankovic]

So it was amazing. And what's really cool is, you know, I was up in the nosebleed seats. You know, I practically had to run away from home to buy tickets because my folks didn't want me. They're impressionable young teenage kid going to this, like, big, dirty, nasty rock show. Sure. But I was up in the news watching through those cheap binoculars because you didn't have, like, the big screens back in the 70s.

[Stephen Colbert]

Yeah.

[Weird Al Yankovic]

And the cool thing is, earlier this year, I got to actually play the LA Forum and I got to give a shout out to the people up in the nosebleed seats. Nice little circle of lights thing.

[Stephen Colbert]

What is the scariest animal?

[Weird Al Yankovic]

Ah, gosh. Well, sitting so close to you, I feel in deference to one of your earlier Personas, I need to say bears.

[Stephen Colbert]

Bears are. They're godless killing machines.

[Weird Al Yankovic]

Although, you know, statistically. Statistically, more people are killed by mosquitoes every year. But I'd be more afraid to run into a bear, I think.

[Stephen Colbert]

Yeah, I would, too.

[Weird Al Yankovic]

Yeah, yeah.

[Stephen Colbert]

No, yeah. You don't have to wear a bell to keep the mosquitoes away from you.

[Weird Al Yankovic]

Yeah, I mean, you can swat a bear, but it's not a good idea.

[Stephen Colbert]

No apples or oranges.

[Weird Al Yankovic]

That's like comparing two disparate objects. Can I. Can I. I don't know if this is allowed, but can I say for juice? Orange juice. And for eating apples? Yes. Okay, good.

[Stephen Colbert]

No one has ever A lot of people try to avoid this one, but no one's ever.

[Weird Al Yankovic]

Oh, no, no. I go right for it.

[Stephen Colbert]

Have you ever asked someone for their autograph?

[Weird Al Yankovic]

I'm not a big autograph guy, but I remember the very first autograph I ever got was I was, like, 7 or 8 years old, and I waited on a long line, and I got Myron Florin's autograph. I'm sorry, you don't know Myron Florin, the accordion player for the Lawrence Welk Show. Oh, wow.

[Stephen Colbert]

Sex God.

[Weird Al Yankovic]

Myron Florin.

[Stephen Colbert]

I remember him every Sunday.

[Weird Al Yankovic]

Yes, of course. Of course.

[Stephen Colbert]

Wow. You really were, like, seven.

[Weird Al Yankovic]

Give.

[Stephen Colbert]

Myron Florin. Can I have your autograph?

[Weird Al Yankovic]

Yeah.

[Stephen Colbert]

I got to be nice about it.

[Weird Al Yankovic]

It was great. He was the greatest accordion player I'd ever met. Do you still have it somewhere? Yes, in a box.

[Commercial Narrator]

All right.

[Stephen Colbert]

What do you think happens when we die?

[Weird Al Yankovic]

Oh, you know, I get asked this question all the time. It's like the first question on the red carpet, you know, for sure. And I always give the same answer. It's basically the same answer that Keanu Reeves gave on your show. That one time was so heartfelt and beautiful. And I know I'm going to paraphrase it really badly, but basically. Basically, he said, when you die, your body is slowly eaten by worms and various microorganisms, and then your bones slowly crumble, and then you go to heaven. I think that's beautiful.

[Stephen Colbert]

Yeah, that's a paraphrase.

[Weird Al Yankovic]

That's a paraphrase. Rough. Very rough.

[Stephen Colbert]

Do you have a favorite action movie?

[Weird Al Yankovic]

Oh, Raiders of the Lost Ark.

[Stephen Colbert]

That's a good one.

[Weird Al Yankovic]

That's a good one. It's a perfect action adventure movie. And it works on many levels. And my favorite thing is it's such a throwback to a time, a simpler time, when it was pretty much universally believed that the Nazis were the bad guys.

[Stephen Colbert]

Yeah, we lose sight of that sometimes. Don't be divisive. No window or aisle.

[Weird Al Yankovic]

I've got a bladder of steel, so window. And also, I can see the gremlin on the wing if it ever shows up.

[Stephen Colbert]

Favorite smell.

[Weird Al Yankovic]

I don't have a really great sense of smell, which it could be, good or bad. I'm gonna say gardenia.

[Stephen Colbert]

Oh, gardenia's wonderful.

[Weird Al Yankovic]

It's wonderful. Cause my mother had planted gardenia bushes in our backyard when I was a kid, so it reminds me of childhood. Whenever I smell a gardenia, I had that ratatouille dolly zoom in my brain, like I become a child again. Sure.

[Stephen Colbert]

Least favorite smell Ooh.

[Weird Al Yankovic]

I'm gonna say rotting, burnt human flesh slathered with fecal matter and vomit? He asked.

[Stephen Colbert]

It's an honest answer. And that's all we want.

[Weird Al Yankovic]

That's all you want. I know.

[Stephen Colbert]

What is your earliest memory?

[Weird Al Yankovic]

I had a traumatic experience when I was exactly two years old. And let me set this up. I was reading a psychology magazine a while back that I thought you were.

[Stephen Colbert]

Going to say I was reading a psychology magazine when I was 2 years old.

[Weird Al Yankovic]

Well, that too. Okay. No, I learned that apparently, according to psychologists, the scariest thing for a young kid is to have something very familiar to them change. Like, you know, they can watch monster movies and they're okay with a Frankenstein's monster. Cause that dude was always that dude. But the wolf man or Dr. Jekyll, where something changes that's really frightening. So it was my second birthday and my parents and relatives thought that it would be a great idea to dress up like clowns. So everybody that I knew and loved dearly was suddenly this grotesque monster. And I only remember really what I've seen in the home movies, which is me screaming my head off the entire time.

[Stephen Colbert]

Are you okay?

[Weird Al Yankovic]

You know, I actually have Puddles pity party opening for me on the tour. He's a seven foot clown, so I guess I've gotten over it.

[Stephen Colbert]

Cats or dogs?

[Weird Al Yankovic]

Oh, dogs. More white meat? Yes. No, no. I love dogs. We kind of. We have a lovely poodle at home. Okay, good. Good, good, good.

[Stephen Colbert]

How'd you prepare it?

[Weird Al Yankovic]

Fileted.

[Stephen Colbert]

You only get one song to listen to for the rest of your life. You don't have to listen to it continually, but when you go to listen to music, this is what you get to hear. What would it be?

[Weird Al Yankovic]

I know a lot of people would probably pick their favorite song, but I would probably pick the song that would drive me crazy the quickest. Because if I only had one song to listen to, I would just go insane. So I would pick probably Achy Breaky Heart or Merry Go Round by Oilman Fisher.

[Stephen Colbert]

I don't know that one.

[Weird Al Yankovic]

Come on, let's merry go merry go merry go round Boom, boom, boom. It goes on like that for about five minutes.

[Stephen Colbert]

What number am I thinking of?

[Weird Al Yankovic]

Okay, now let me. Can I ask you a couple questions? Related questions?

[Stephen Colbert]

Nope.

[Commercial Narrator]

Please?

[Weird Al Yankovic]

Okay.

[Blinds.com Advertiser]

Please?

[Stephen Colbert]

Okay.

[Weird Al Yankovic]

Okay. All right. Do you always think of the same number when you ask this question?

[Commercial Narrator]

I do.

[Weird Al Yankovic]

Is it a irrational or imaginary number, like PI or the square root of negative one?

[Stephen Colbert]

It is an integer.

[Weird Al Yankovic]

Positive integer. Less than 1000.

[Stephen Colbert]

That's too close.

[Weird Al Yankovic]

Positive integer less than a million.

[Stephen Colbert]

Yes.

[Weird Al Yankovic]

Okay. I have a good feeling about this. I'm really good at this.

[Stephen Colbert]

27.

[Weird Al Yankovic]

No. Oh so close. So close.

[Stephen Colbert]

Describe the rest of your life in five words.

[Weird Al Yankovic]

Be kind, bring joy, Repeat.

[Stephen Colbert]

Congratulations, Al. You are known. Finally, greet Al Yankovic, everybody. Thank you for listening to the Late Show POD show with Stephen Colbert. Just one more thing. If you want to see more of me, come to The Late Show YouTube channel for more clips and exclusives.

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[Weird Al Yankovic]

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[Stephen Colbert]

What do you have to lose?

[Commercial Narrator]

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