Woody Harrelson | Bye-Bye Buy

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Late Show Pod Show with Stephen Colbert – Episode Featuring Woody Harrelson: "Bye-Bye Buy"

Release Date: April 9, 2025

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Introduction

In this engaging episode of The Late Show Pod Show with Stephen Colbert, host Stephen Colbert delves into the pressing economic concerns surrounding recent tariff implementations while maintaining his signature blend of humor and satire. The episode culminates in an intimate and humorous interview with renowned actor Woody Harrelson, titled "Bye-Bye Buy," where Harrelson participates in the unique "Colbert Questionnaire." This summary encapsulates the key discussions, insights, and entertaining moments from the episode, enriched with notable quotes and timestamps for reference.

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Opening Monologue: The Tariff Tango (00:00 - 07:56)

Stephen Colbert opens the episode by addressing the looming tariffs on imported goods set to take effect at midnight. He humorously emphasizes the urgency for listeners to complete their Christmas shopping before prices soar. Colbert illustrates the immediate economic impact, particularly highlighting the disruptions faced by consumers and businesses alike.

Key Points:

• Tariffs Implementation: Colbert discusses the introduction of a 104% tariff on Chinese imports, mocking the abrupt and severe nature of the policy.
• Economic Repercussions: He humorously describes the chaotic response in the stock market, noting how the Dow Jones Industrial Average fluctuated wildly within hours ([02:00] "By 10:28 this morning, the Dow had soared up 14. But by the end of the day, it was down 320 points").
• Trade War with China: Colbert satirizes the trade tensions between the U.S. and China, referencing Elon Musk's public plea to President Trump to reconsider the tariffs due to their detrimental effect on global businesses ([06:00] "Mr. President, when you set tariffs on countries that make my audio parts, you hurt my money's feelings").

Notable Quotes:

• "The tariffs are already hitting America right in the joystick because gamers were supposed to be able to order Nintendo's Switch 2 starting tomorrow." ([02:30])
• "The economic road is rough. That's going to smooth things right over." ([05:00])

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Satirical Segment: Mocking Political Figures (07:56 - 15:00)

Continuing his monologue, Colbert employs satire to critique political figures and their responses to economic policies. He specifically targets President Trump’s inconsistency regarding tariff negotiations and mocks the administration's attempts to justify the tariffs.

Key Points:

• Inconsistent Statements: Colbert highlights President Trump's conflicting statements on whether the tariffs are temporary or permanent, using humorous analogies to emphasize the absurdity ([03:52] "You can't say it's temporary and it's permanent. That's like being asked to call heads or tails and saying, I call coin.").
• Impact on Industries: He mocks the claims that tariffs will bring jobs back to America by pointing out the irony of automated factories replacing human workers ([04:30] "It's going to be automated. It's really automated jobs. It's automated factories.").
• International Reactions: The episode covers international backlash, mentioning Zimbabwe's unexpected concession to the tariffs and China's firm stance against the U.S. policies ([05:50] "Zimbabwe became the first country to officially cave on Trump's tariffs.").

Notable Quotes:

• "It's called a trade war with China. Save us. Special man on the bus. He's taking the bus over." ([06:30])
• "Howard Lutnick explained that electronics factories are coming back to America with one small catch… automated factories." ([05:00])

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Interview Segment: The Colbert Questionnaire with Woody Harrelson (15:00 - 24:21)

The highlight of the episode features host Stephen Colbert engaging in the "Colbert Questionnaire" with guest Woody Harrelson. This segment is designed to explore Harrelson's personal preferences and viewpoints through a series of light-hearted and thought-provoking questions.

Key Points:

• Personal Preferences: Harrelson shares his favorite sandwich, expressing a penchant for a "chunky peanut butter with banana and honey on a whole grain open-faced sandwich" ([16:39]).
• First Concert Memory: Reflecting on his musical experiences, Harrelson mentions attending a concert featuring "the Dead," hinting at the iconic Grateful Dead ([16:59]).
• Philosophical Views: When asked about the scariest animal, Harrelson intriguingly responds with "Human," prompting a humorous exchange about the nature of fear ([17:48]).
• Music Taste: Harrelson reveals himself as a fan of Taylor Swift, surprising listeners with his admission as a "Swifty" ([22:58]).
• Life Reflections: In a whimsical description of his future, Harrelson states, "60 more excellent years ahead," showcasing his optimistic outlook ([24:14]).

Notable Quotes:

• "What is the best sandwich? I'm gonna say chunky peanut butter with banana and honey on a whole grain open-faced sandwich." ([16:39])
• "I think you're etheric. And, you know, your etheric body leaves your corporal body and floats around. It's kind of a pre-party." ([19:05])
• "I guess it's time I reveal I'm a Swifty." ([22:58])
• "Describe the rest of your life in five words." – "60 more excellent years ahead." ([24:14])

Humorous Interactions:

• Toast Segment: Colbert and Harrelson engage in a playful toasting ritual when Harrelson answers his first question, adding levity to the conversation ([16:51]).
• Plane Anecdote: Harrelson humorously recounts an incident onboard a plane involving someone painting their nails, leading to a flammable situation ([21:29]).
• Dynamic Banter: The rapport between Colbert and Harrelson is characterized by witty exchanges and mutual teasing, enhancing the entertainment value of the interview.

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Conclusion

This episode of The Late Show Pod Show with Stephen Colbert masterfully blends sharp political satire with warm, engaging interactions featuring Woody Harrelson. Colbert's incisive commentary on economic policies provides insightful critique cloaked in humor, while the "Colbert Questionnaire" segment offers a delightful glimpse into Harrelson's personality and preferences. Whether dissecting trade wars or exploring personal anecdotes, the episode delivers a rich and entertaining experience for listeners.

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Notable Guest:

• Woody Harrelson: Renowned actor and environmental activist, known for his roles in films such as The Hunger Games and Natural Born Killers.

Recommendation: For a deeper dive into the discussions and more exclusive content, listeners are encouraged to visit The Late Show YouTube channel for additional clips and behind-the-scenes footage.

Transcript

[Stephen Colbert]

I've been counted out, dismissed, passed over, told I'd never be a golfer with just one arm. But the only thing that feels better than proving people wrong is out driving them. I'm 14 year old golfer Tommy Morrissey and I want to be remembered for my ability as a champion Partner of the Masters. Bank of America supports everyone determined to find out what's possible in golf and in life.

[Donald Trump]

What would you like the power to do? Bank of America bank of America NA.

[Stephen Colbert]

Member FDIC Copyright 2025 bank of America Corporation. All rights reserved.

[Woody Harrelson]

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[Stephen Colbert]

Thank you citizens. Please have a seat everybody. Welcome, welcome in here, out there to the Late Show. I'm your host Stephen Colbert. It is April 8th and I hope you have finished your Christmas shopping because today was officially the last shopping day before tariffs on imported goods come into force at midnight tonight. So don't forget on Amazon to click 23 Minute Shipping. Obviously no one is happy about what this is going to do to our ability to buy stuff. Except for one group, husbands forced to sit on the little chair in the dressing room at Nordstrom Rack. You know their slogan. Yeah, I like that one too. The tariffs are already hitting America right in the joystick because gamers were supposed to be able to order Nintendo's Switch 2 starting tomorrow. But now Nintendo has delayed Switch 2 pre orders in the United States over the Trump tariffs. What? I need my Nintendo. What am I supposed to do without a new Mario game? Take a bunch of mushrooms and jump on turtles in real life? That's what got me banned from the petting zoo. With Trump's tariffs looming over the economy, today was a wild ride on Wall Street. By 10:28 this morning, the Dow had soared up 14. But by the end of the day, it was down 320 points, which led the AARP to issue the statement, you should have retired at 1028 this morning. So why the early excitement? Wall street was all hopped up on the hopes that Trump might be willing to negotiate down tariffs. But will Trump actually do that? Yesterday he said yes, and also he said no. You're talking about negotiations, and yet others in your administration are saying that these.

[Woody Harrelson]

Tariffs are actually permanent.

[Stephen Colbert]

What is the actual.

[Donald Trump]

Well, it could be. They can both be true.

[Stephen Colbert]

No, no. You can't say it's temporary and it's permanent. That's like being asked to call heads or tails and saying, I call coin. But then around noon. Around noon, the White House confirmed that they will be slapping a whopping 104% tariff on China at midnight tonight. And the market stepped on a rake and then fell down a mine shaft. 104%. Chinese tariffs are going to make everything more expensive. IPhones, laptops, those wonderful knockoff toys you can find only at the gas station, like new style Ninja, Tortoise, Treyer, fomos, and my personal favorite, Special Man. Look. Look up in the sky. It's a bird. It's a plane. It's a bird. It's a bird. Special man doesn't know how to fly. He can't. There he is. He's walking over here now. Naturally, China is not pleased. Last night, after these tariffs were proposed, their Ministry of Commerce said the US Threat to escalate tariffs on China is a mistake on top of a mistake. Coincidentally, it's also what it's called when Don Jr. Gives Eric a piggyback ride. Thank you. The Ministry of Commerce. Look, call back from last night. The Ministry of Commerce of China also stated that China will never accept it. Oh, no. Now we're in a trade war with China. Save us. Special man on the bus. He's taking the bus over. Now, a lot of people have been talking smack about a lot of these tariffs, but guess what, buttercup? They're working. Because we just learned Zimbabwe became the first country to officially cave on Trump's tariffs. Oh, yeah, that must have been very exciting news for Donald Trump because it was definitely the first time he had ever heard of Zimbabwe. Folks, great news. We just got a great concession, a huge concession, really, from that little truck that cleans the ice at hockey games. The Zimbabwe, they drive that, that is. I tell you what, the economic road is rough. That's going to smooth things right over. In case you didn't know, Zimbabwe has a GDP of $35 billion a year. That's almost as big as the greater metropolitan area of Poughkeepsie, New York, which is, say it with me, the sixth largest economy in the state of New York. Why didn't you say it with me? Trump's team has been all over TV trying to sell his incoherent tariffs, especially Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick, who went on the CBS Nation Face and explained that electronics factories are coming back to America with one small catch. Remember the army of millions and millions of human beings screwing in little, little screws to make iPhones? That kind of thing is going to come to America. It's going to be automated. It's really automated jobs. It's automated factories. Automated factories. Wait a second. So your theory is we'll get our factories back, but they'll only have jobs for robots. So you'll be broke, but at least your Roomba can afford to send its kids to college. Think of the little rumbinos. We've also been hearing way too much from Trump's treasury secretary and sample body in the window at the mortuary. Scott Besant. Besant, Besant, Besant, Besant. Besant had a message for folks worried about the retirement accounts. No, you're not. What is your message to Americans who.

[Woody Harrelson]

Want to retire right now and who've.

[Stephen Colbert]

Just seen their lifetime savings drop significantly? I think that's a false narrative. Americans who want to retire right now, the Americans who have put away for years in their savings account, I think they don't look at the day to day fluctuations of what's happening. Have you met seniors? The only thing they pay more attention to than their retirement savings is the weather where you live. Not all of Trump's advisors share his bright vision of a 19th century workhouse. Elon Musk needs Tesla parts from overseas and he sells a lot of Teslas all over the world. So over the weekend, he made direct appeals to Trump to reverse the tariffs in an attempted intervention. Mr. President, when you see. When you tariff countries that make my audio parts, you hurt my money's Feelings. And now I just. Why don't you put down the executive order and let's do drugs. Yesterday, Trump held an event. Yesterday, Trump held an event at the White House to honor the World Series champion LA Dodgers. He welcomed the champs with a heaping helping of word goulash. Here he is trying to talk about the team's record going into last year's postseason.

[Donald Trump]

You entered the playoffs battered and bruised, but not broken. When you ran out the healthy arms, you ran out of really healthy. They had great arms, but they ran out. It's called sports. It's called baseball in particular. And pitchers, I guess you could say. In really particular.

[Stephen Colbert]

His brain is out of here. Trump also compared hanging out with athletes to his usual crew of GOP toadies.

[Donald Trump]

Max Muncie. I want to congratulate Max. Max, come here, Max. His arms are very strong when I touch them. I'm used to shaking politicians and hitting their armors like jello. And now it's like. Now it's like steel.

[Stephen Colbert]

He's very strong, I tell you. These politicians arms like Jello, head like a big pile of ice cream. Eyes are two little Oreos and the nose was an ice cream cone. Might be thinking of cookie puss. It's. It's called sports. Of course, celebrating the Dodgers took time away from Trump's favor pastime celebrating himself. But he's got a big one coming up because he's reportedly planning a military parade through D.C. for his own 79th birthday. A military parade for a dictator's birthday. Johnny, tell America what they've won. An all expense paid trip to a supermax prison in exotic El Salvador.

[Donald Trump]

Conde esta el habeas corpus.

[Stephen Colbert]

Plus generations of dynastic rule by Don Junior, Don Junior Junior and Robo Eric. And a dinette set from Broy Hill.

[Donald Trump]

Broy Hill.

[Stephen Colbert]

We're out of dinette sets because they're made in China.

[Donald Trump]

Back to you, Steve.

[Stephen Colbert]

Rolling the tanks. Rolling the tanks down Pennsylvania Avenue reportedly will not come cheap. Experts estimate it will cost $92 million. Hello? Hello, Doge. Hello, Doge. Yes, I'd like to report some government inefficiency. Thanks. What's that? No, no. Elon, the hair plugs look great. No, no one can tell. I gotta. I gotta. I gotta. No, no. I gotta go. No, no. I don't wanna have your baby. Thank you. There's also. I'm not ready. I'm not ready. I'm not ready to have a family. There's also a salacious scandal involving Secretary of the Interior and Count Chocula. Esquire. Doug Burgum. Because in an explosive expose or explose, we learned this weekend that Doug Burgum demands that his staff bake him fresh cookies. Reportedly, Burgum likes chocolate chip, preferably fresh baked and still warm. Well, yeah, dude, that's what everyone likes. Something unique about me, I prefer ice cream before it melts. And I like sex that feels good on my penis. I'm quirky this way. I'm an oddball. Fresh baked cookie down there doesn't feel bad either. This is not merely an innocent request for baked goods. Apparently political appointees in Burgum's office have been seen crying because of the demands placed on them, which has earned Burgum the nickname Doug the Diva. Okay, kind of a weak name for a diva. The lamest since Mariah. Gary, we got a great show for you tonight coming up. Woody Harrelson.

[Andy]

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[Woody Harrelson]

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[Stephen Colbert]

It'S the one, the only, Woody Harrelson. Woody, thank you so much for being here. It's always nice when you stop by.

[Donald Trump]

Oh, I didn't know I had a choice, honestly. But yeah, thank you for.

[Stephen Colbert]

You know what, I'm glad that if you have to be gang pressed into something, I'm glad it's our show. All right. You have an excellent attitude about your obligations over there, then. One of the nice things about talking to you is a, first of all, I don't know where the stories are going to be going ever. When I talk to you, and we never talk ahead of time. There's no pre interview with you. It's like it's Woody Harrelson. We'll figure out what happens, which is an act of discovery every time I talk to you. But all that does. It doesn't. It only whets my appetite to know more about Woody Harrelson. And so I was hoping, and if you're okay with this, I'd like to try something here. We have something at the show called the Colbert Questionnaire. And it is a series of questions that are designed specifically to descend into the depths of that person, that intimate space of a person's consciousness and their soul so they can be fully known. Because what do we want to be? What do we most want to be? Not alone, Woody. And if you are known, you are never alone. So I'm offering you a chance to be known by the world. And will you take that opportunity, that golden ticket right now? Brave man.

[Donald Trump]

Yes.

[Stephen Colbert]

First question. Woody Harrelson. What is the best sandwich?

[Donald Trump]

I'm gonna say chunky peanut butter with banana and honey on a whole grain open faced sandwich.

[Stephen Colbert]

That's quality. That's quality. Are we toasting? Are we toasting?

[Donald Trump]

Toastings.

[Stephen Colbert]

We're toasting. There you go.

[Donald Trump]

All right.

[Stephen Colbert]

What was your first concert? I know we've talked about the dead, but what was the first concert you ever went to?

[Donald Trump]

Yes.

[Stephen Colbert]

You saw the band.

[Donald Trump]

Yes, that's right.

[Stephen Colbert]

In and around. Down the lake. Yeah. That's fantastic.

[Donald Trump]

Come out of the sky and the sun. I forgot how good his voice is. That's right.

[Stephen Colbert]

You got a lovely voice, too. I'm holding space. I'm holding space for you, Woody. Woody Harrelson, what is the scariest animal?

[Donald Trump]

Human.

[Stephen Colbert]

The most dangerous game. Oh, here's one. I'm sure you've thought this one through. Apples or oranges?

[Donald Trump]

Oranges.

[Stephen Colbert]

Oh, yeah. Interesting.

[Donald Trump]

Only because I have orange juice every day. I love orange juice.

[Stephen Colbert]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Donald Trump]

Fresh squeezed organic.

[Stephen Colbert]

Oh, come on. Come on. Makes a difference.

[Donald Trump]

That's understood.

[Stephen Colbert]

It makes a difference. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Have you ever asked anyone for their.

[Donald Trump]

Autograph oh, that picture you showed. I had just gotten, you know, Bob Weir and Mickey Hart to photograph my photo.

[Stephen Colbert]

That photo right there.

[Donald Trump]

Yeah, yeah.

[Stephen Colbert]

That we showed on the show weeks ago when you were here.

[Donald Trump]

Weeks ago.

[Stephen Colbert]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. This, this.

[Donald Trump]

Oh, weeks ago. I forgot about that. Yes, back then, weeks ago. I remember that.

[Stephen Colbert]

Remember, Woody? Remember how you were. You came back to do the Colbert questionnaire, and you wore the same outfit, by the way.

[Donald Trump]

Those were great times, those.

[Stephen Colbert]

I miss us then. What was your answer again? Autograph.

[Donald Trump]

Oranges.

[Stephen Colbert]

What do you think happens when we die?

[Donald Trump]

I think you're etheric. And, you know, your etheric body leaves your corporal body and floats around. You know, it's kind of a pre party.

[Stephen Colbert]

A pre party.

[Donald Trump]

I think I don't have you pre game before.

[Stephen Colbert]

You go on to someplace else.

[Donald Trump]

You go on to someplace kind of.

[Stephen Colbert]

Like a purgatory kind of thing.

[Donald Trump]

I think you're. Yeah, I think you keep going. I think you're just. You're a theorem.

[Stephen Colbert]

Jonathan Livingston Siegel. Yeah, yeah. Ascend masters.

[Donald Trump]

You might become like a pigeon in New York. I don't know.

[Stephen Colbert]

You must have been pretty bad if you're a pigeon in New York. Do you think this is your first time around? Or you're like. Do you think you've been through it multiple times? Wood.

[Donald Trump]

It feels like the first time. You know, it feels fresh.

[Stephen Colbert]

Feels like my best first time. Favorite action movie?

[Donald Trump]

Oh, anything. Paul Greengrass. Bourne. The Bourne movies, sure. Born Identity.

[Stephen Colbert]

Yeah.

[Donald Trump]

Polite applause.

[Stephen Colbert]

I would call that a smattering.

[Donald Trump]

Would you call it smattering?

[Stephen Colbert]

Smattering. Polite for one of the greatest film franchises of all time.

[Donald Trump]

Of all time. But they give a little.

[Stephen Colbert]

Window or aisle?

[Donald Trump]

Window.

[Stephen Colbert]

Love the view. Sure. Make a polite conversation. I'm just keeping the ball up. Popping the balloon backwards.

[Donald Trump]

I'm not doing much, am I?

[Stephen Colbert]

No, you're not. Yeah, you do fine. You do plenty.

[Donald Trump]

I like a window.

[Stephen Colbert]

No, you're rolling. You're on a plane. You can roll the window down.

[Donald Trump]

You don't say plane, you just say window or aisle. That's.

[Stephen Colbert]

So are we talking? Do you have a car with an aisle? That's a big car, man. A car with an aisle. You are famous. Favorite smell.

[Donald Trump]

Oh, favorite smell. I mean, I thank you.

[Stephen Colbert]

Least. Favorite smell.

[Donald Trump]

Oh, least. Oh, you know, speaking of, this happened in a plane recently. Someone was painting their nails.

[Stephen Colbert]

Ooh.

[Donald Trump]

Wow, that's a. That's an offensive thing.

[Stephen Colbert]

Yeah, that's. And it's super flammable, too.

[Donald Trump]

I had to open the window. Come on, guys.

[Stephen Colbert]

Come on. All Right, all right, all right, all right, all right. I know you're pitching a perfect game, but you don't talk about it.

[Donald Trump]

All right.

[Stephen Colbert]

Earliest memory birth to you. Are you one of those guys who remembers, like, the light and all that kind of stuff? I remember it was dark for a while and humid.

[Donald Trump]

No, I do. It's dark and humid.

[Stephen Colbert]

Yeah, yeah, I remember.

[Donald Trump]

I didn't remember. Want to leave? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Ironically born two months early, but really? Yeah.

[Stephen Colbert]

That's fantastic.

[Donald Trump]

Thank you.

[Stephen Colbert]

Cats or dogs?

[Donald Trump]

Cats and dogs.

[Stephen Colbert]

All right, all right. You only get. You only get one song to listen to for the rest of your life.

[Donald Trump]

Oh, gee.

[Stephen Colbert]

Okay. That doesn't mean that you have to listen to it continually, but when you go to listen to a song, this is the song that you get. What is the song? Woody Harrelson.

[Donald Trump]

I guess it's time I reveal I'm a Swifty.

[Stephen Colbert]

Grateful Swifty.

[Donald Trump]

You're a grateful I, I, I really, I, I think that song I heard there was a secret chord David played and it pleased the Lord but you don't really care for music to you goes like this. The fourth, the fifth minor four the major lift the B foot king composes Alleluia.

[Stephen Colbert]

That's a good one. That's a good one. What number am I thinking of?

[Donald Trump]

Can I get. Is it a single digit number?

[Stephen Colbert]

What number am I thinking of?

[Donald Trump]

4.

[Stephen Colbert]

No. Woody Harrelson, describe the rest of your life in five words.

[Donald Trump]

60 more excellent years ahead.

[Stephen Colbert]

Congratulations, Woody. You are known. Woody Harrelson, everybody. Thank you for listening to the Late Show Pod show with Stephen Colbert. Just one more thing. If you want to see more of me, come to The Late Show YouTube channel for more clips and exclusives.