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Kendra Adachi
This episode is sponsored by Hedley and Bennett. Whether you're a pro chef cooking for 200 or just whipping something up delicious in your weeknight for two, one brand can uplevel your kitchen style and functionality and it's Hedley and Bennett. I've loved Hedley and Bennett for years. I own two different aprons, one that's a classic gray and another that's bright yellow. And these aprons are legit. It's like they infuse value and confidence into your cooking just by putting them on. Plus they last forever. And they just launched a suite of 11 absolutely gorgeous essential kitchen tools meticulously tested for real world use. Made from platinum grade silicone and stainless steel that's completely BPA and BPS free, these tools are non toxic and heat resistant and I love the color blocking on them. Ready to upgrade your kitchen? Head over to Hedley and Bennett.com and use code podcast15 at checkout for 15% off your order this that's podcast15 for 15% off. Elevate your cooking experience with Hedley and Bennett today. This episode is sponsored by Daily Look. Finding my style is like a recent is development. I do know what I like, but sometimes the temptation of buying what I see on the Internet and just hoping it works for me is too real. That's why I'm glad I found Daily Look. Daily look is the highest rated premium personal styling service for women, making it easier to elevate your style without copying someone else's. With Daily look, you get a dedicated stylist to curate a box of clothes that match you delivered right to your door, no fitting rooms needed. You get up to 12 premium pieces per box, keep what you love and return the rest with free shipping both ways. Since I had filled out a detailed style questionnaire and even sent a style Pinterest board to my stylist, so many pieces in my recent box were hits. Get started by taking your style quiz at DailyLook.com Elevate your style by signing up at DailyLook.com today. Take your style quiz at DailyLook.com and get 50% off your first styling fee when you use code LAZYGENIUS at checkout. Hi there, you're listening to the Lazy Genius Podcast. I'm Kendra Adachi and I'm here to help you be a genius about the things that matter and lazy about the things that don't. Today is episode 400, how to feel satisfied with your celebrations. I'm unusually excited about this topic today because I think we all need a Good perspective shift in this area. Celebrations are strangely complicated. Sometimes we shy away from them, especially if we're celebrating something about ourselves. Other times we have them, but we feel pressure to celebrate a certain way, to make everything as sparkly and memorable as possible. And no matter what you've celebrated or not celebrated at some point in your life, I guarantee you've been disappointed. I'm not promising that you'll never feel disappointed with your celebrations again, but I do think there's a lot of room to feel greater satisfaction when we mark our moments. Also, side note, this is our 400th episode, but not technically because of, like, all the bonus episodes over the last.
Kaz Adachi
Seven or eight years. But still, it's kind of fun to.
Kendra Adachi
Talk about celebrating on the the 400th episode.
Kaz Adachi
Okay.
Kendra Adachi
I also turned 43 at the end of December, so that plus the Christmas holidays, it has celebrating, like, heavily on my mind. The title of this episode, how to feel satisfied with your celebrations. It was really well thought out. When Leah, our team's director of content, when she and I were talking about this episode, the word satisfied, it kept coming up. Satisfied means contented or pleased, and that seems like a lovely way to feel about something. Satisfaction somehow feels more accessible than a lot of the other words that we might associate with celebrations. You know, like, best ever or the pressure of, like, let's make a memory. It all tends to feel heavy with pressure and apparently exclamation points and therefore with expectations. Satisfaction, it feels more soulful. Right? We're happy with enough. We're happy here. Now, I don't mean you need to be like an Eeyore or some kind of martyr about your celebrations, like poo pooing, big parties, and best times ever. Satisfaction is personal. Whatever makes you feel contented and pleased is personal, and you get to decide what that is. This episode is gonna be heavy on stories, and I'm gonna tell you a little bit about the last few years of my birthday. Okay? I know what happened the last few years and how I felt about it because I have my trusty one line A that I've been writing in since December 2021. That means I have four years of birthday entries available to us today. So in 2021, on December 27, my birthday, I turned 40, and in my journal I wrote slept in until 8, had a weird solo day where I cried in Sarah's kebab shop and came home early from shopping downtown because I had a headache from crying. Sam was banging on his new digital drum set. Happy 40th to me, man, it's, like, such a downer. And then looking ahead in the Journal at, like, future days, I didn't have plans to celebrate with friends until the 29th and the 30th, so I was, like, downtrodden until then, I suppose. And then the 30th dinner, which was like a big birthday dinner with multiple people. It was canceled because somebody got exposed to Covid.
Kaz Adachi
So I didn't even get my birthday party. And I never rescheduled it. So my 40th, at least based on what's in my journal, it was not very satisfying.
Kendra Adachi
Now, in 2022, on December 27, my 41st birthday, I wrote this. House cleaner came. So we left the house for an early breakfast where everyone tried to guess my favorite things. Went to Bookmarks, that's a bookstore in Winston Salem that I love. Went to Bookmarks, and then had a regular afternoon. Had pizza with a big family. Ended the night with Annie on my lap. Driving through the Christmas balls, that seems sweet and normal to me. You know, like family time, a bookstore, extended family time. And then a delayed drive through a neighborhood in our town that fills every tree with Christmas balls. It's delightful. Now, clearly this year we had not gone before Christmas like we usually do. So that's kind of fun. That it? You know, it happened on my birthday.
Kaz Adachi
Okay.
Kendra Adachi
2023, a winner of an entry. Hung out at home in the morning. Talked to painters about the bathroom, a quick run to Goodwill, lunch with Emily. Got my tattoo that almost killed me. Recovered from the tattoo that almost killed me, and got Cugino with friends for dinner, where they discussed how bad of a partner I'd be on the Amazing Race. That day was a wild one, but a favorite. I remember it like it just happened, and it was over a year ago.
Kaz Adachi
And I have a terrible memory, so that's saying something.
Kendra Adachi
Also, if you ever come to Greensboro, Cugino Forno is the best pizza in the city and my favorite restaurant. It's the best. Also. Also, if this episode isn't too long, I'm going to tell the tattoo story at the end. We'll see if that happens. Okay? Then. This past birthday, I wrote this. The chillest, best birthday. Slept until 9:30.
Leah Jarvis
What?
Kendra Adachi
Slept until 9:30. Read in bed most of the day. Got visits from mom and Hannah. That's my sister. Plans with friends over the next few days. Went thrifting. Gave Annie my birthday Starbucks drink. Reluctant but good. Family dinner at Cugino. It's because two of my three children don't like pizza. Like Weirdos cookout milkshakes on the way home. Okay, so those are my last four birthdays. Now, in many ways, the circumstances are pretty similar, right? There's alone time, there's reading, or bookstores, is getting food with my family, sometimes friends. If the day worked out without any emotional context or clear bias from how I wrote the entries, the days all seem pretty similar, right? I didn't do a big trip. I didn't throw a big party or have one thrown for me. Not that I'd want that, but you know what I mean? Like, the point is, the days are all kind of the same. They're kind of kind of basic. And yet my satisfaction with them is very different. I remember how I felt on my 40th, and it was awful. I remember how I felt on my 42nd last year, sitting at the big table at Cugino with a dozen of my buddies while all our kids sat at the table next to us. My arm, like, burned from the dramatic tattoo experience. I felt amazing, minus the arm pain. A couple of weeks ago, I basically read in bed all day without any fanfare because my kids actively decided to not bother me so I could read. Like, I asked them if that was the case. I was like, are you guys, like, not interrupting me on purpose so I can read?
Kaz Adachi
They're like, yes. And it was a delight.
Kendra Adachi
It was amazing. Our circumstances rarely impact our satisfaction like we think they do. I think it's our expectations, right? We're not content where we are. We're not paying attention to our posture towards what actually matters and what is enough to us. This is why you can see one person throw a huge wedding, let's say, and feel like it was such a letdown while another person gets married at City hall and they're over the moon. Or why one person throws a huge wedding and loves every second of it, while another person gets married at City hall and it feels like a letdown. The circumstances are rarely the difference or the point. That's why this episode isn't giving you ideas about how to throw a celebration. It's simply a reminder that we can feel satisfied with our celebrations, no matter the circumstances of them. This episode is sponsored by Prose. My Hair and the Winter Air. They usually do not get along, but thanks to Prose, My Hair is winning this fight. Prose makes custom hair care that actually works for you because it's made for you. Their consultation looks at over 85 factors, like your hair goals, where you live, even the season, to create formulas that get results. My custom Prose formula nailed what my hair needed healthier, shinier, and way less Sad. With over 500,000 5 star reviews and a clinical study proving personalization works, you really can't go wrong. Plus, if you don't love your first order, it's on them. Prose is so confident that you'll bring out your best hair and Skin in 2025 that they're offering an exclusive, exclusive trial offer of 50% off your first hair care subscription order@pros.com lazygenius so take your free consultation, get your one of a kind formulas and see the difference custom care can make with 50% off at p r O-S-E.com lazygenius.
Vassar
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Kendra Adachi
Episode is sponsored by Squarespace. Squarespace has been the online home of the Lazy Genius collective since day one and for good reason. It's the all in one platform that help helps creators and entrepreneurs not just stand out, but thrive online. Recently we launched a new product in our store and Squarespace made the whole process so simple. Thanks to their fluid engine, we could set up gorgeous functional pages with ease. I am no tech wizard, but with Squarespace's drag and drop editor I do not have to be. Squarespace also has flexible payment tools which means our customers can use everything from Apple pay to afterpay. We want it to be easy for you to be a lazy genius and Squarespace makes that happen. Plus their built in analytics are truly great offering information that's truly helpful right there. Clear as day. Head to squarespace.com for a free trial and when you're ready to Launch, go to squarespace.com lazygenius to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. This episode is sponsored by IXL Learning. My kids enjoy school, but it's tough when they hit a subject that confuses or frustrates them or they just don't really like. But when that subject has IXL assignments attached to it, they actually have fun with the learning process. IXL Learning is an online learning program for kids. It covers math, language arts, science, and social studies. IXL is designed to help them understand and master topics in a fun way with positive feedback. Plus, one subscription gets you everything. That's one site for all the kids in your home, Pre K to 12th grade. Don't miss out. One in four students in the US are learning with IXL. IXL is used in 95 of the top 100 school districts in the US make an impact on your child's learning. Get IXL now and the Lazy Genius listeners can get an exclusive 20% off IXL membership when they sign up today at IXL learning.com lazygenius visit ixllearning.com lazygenius to get the most effective learning program out there at the best price. The best person I know well in general, but also as a great example of this is my husband. So Kaz turns 50 this year, and this man does not in any way want to party. He doesn't want a lot of people involved. He doesn't want any fanfare. He's fine not doing anything. But I also know that he loves when our family goes on a little trip. The man has no greater pleasure than that. It's it makes him so happy. He is the best energy when we're traveling because he just likes for us to all be together and explore somewhere fun. Like, even if everybody has a crappy attitude, like, he doesn't care, let's just go be together. So the other day when I asked him what he wanted to do for his 50th, he said, and I expected him to say, meh, you know nothing. And I said, well, you're turning 50.
Kaz Adachi
So we're doing something. I said, well, what if we took.
Kendra Adachi
A little trip during spring break to celebrate your birthday? Because spring break is a few weeks after his birthday. And his face lit up and y'all, I kid you not, the man said with like the widest sparkly eyes, he goes, can we go to Atlanta?
Kaz Adachi
Of all places, can we go to Atlanta? He has wanted to take the kids to the Koch Museum for years. So that's what we're doing. For his 50th birthday.
Kendra Adachi
Like, he is so happy and he's already satisfied with that. It doesn't matter to him what actually happens or how much fun the kids have, or if we hit traffic, or if the restaurant we chose isn't as good as we thought it would be. His whole thing is us just being together somewhere new. And we'll do that no matter what. And honestly, if someone gets sick and we can't even go, he'll still be satisfied because the man is deeply contented at all times. It's genuinely precious. I want to be like that. I want to be a person who finds satisfaction, contentment and pleasure wherever I am. Now. Sometimes it's harder to find those things when we're in like a genuinely tough circumstance. But today we're talking about celebrations, right? We're not talking about anything hard. It's a much easier road to find satisfaction in the context of celebrating life or a marriage or a kid, or a season, or an accomplishment or anything at all, right? It's not a thing we have to force. So what if our focus, what if it wasn't on so much what happens, at least at first? What if instead we just ask, like, what would. What would make this satisfying? And when you think like a lazy genius, when you know that not everything can matter, when you release the lens of greatness, you can honestly find satisfaction in any celebration, whether it goes according to plan or not. It just lightens the load. We see so many celebrations that are grand for the sake of grandness, right? For the sake of greatness. I see photos of certain parties or like gender reveals or that old show My Sweet sixteen or whatever it was called with like the epic birthday parties that often had demanding teenagers at their center. Because that's what makes good tv, I guess. The lens of greatness, it hits celebrations just like it does productivity. Every party has to outdo the last one. Every party has to outdo the one thrown by that other person in your sphere. The gender reveal has to be creative enough to go viral on Instagram. There's like this low key and sometimes very high key leveling up even in our non celebrity, not reality TV lives. And it sneaks into our celebrations without our realizing it, leaving us unless satisfied because our gauge is greatness and we don't even see it. So what if feeling satisfied with our celebrations wasn't at all about the circumstances of the celebration itself, but about our perspective toward it? If you want to go big in your own way, like, please do it. Celebrations can be grand and should be at times they can be epic trips and huge parties, just like they can be staying at home to read and everything in between. Also, this year's celebration might look very different from the next one anyway, right? What you choose now isn't what you have to choose forever. But regardless of the circumstances, you can celebrate and mark a moment, whether it's an obvious one like a birthday, or a more nuanced one like starting school and getting cocktails with your mom friends to celebrate. My girlfriends and I have done that the last couple of years and it has been so nice. Celebrate, Mark, but notice your lens. Is it greatness or is it contentment? Are your unmet expectations getting in the way of your satisfaction? If they are, consider adjusting your expectations or move toward having them met. Maybe you're turning 40 or 50 or any age at all, doesn't have to have zero at the end, and you want someone else to take the reins of celebrating your life. But no one has offered. No one has said anything. Guess what? Tell someone. Tell your partner. Tell your friend. Tell your sister. Tell someone that you want to do something fun, maybe even epic and celebratory for this birthday, but you don't want to plan it yourself. I know that makes some of you cringe, but guess what? If you don't move towards having your expectations fulfilled, you're going to be crying in a kebab shop like I did. Now that's not the end of the world. And sometimes, even when we think we're satisfied, we're not. And we're still crying in a kebab shop. You can't control the emotions that come up unannounced. But if you know that you expect this thing, or long for this thing to happen to be celebrated, bring it into the light. Don't just hope it happens or tell yourself it doesn't matter, because it does. Your satisfaction is important. What matters to you is important. It's not necessarily about the circumstances unless it is a little, and you haven't told anybody yet. But it's always about how we respond. It's about having kind expectations where we value being contented and pleased based on what matters to us. We can feel celebrated even if things are simple or undone or didn't go according to plan. I find all this to be a deep breath, and I hope you do too. So even though this doesn't have any lists or formulas or anything other than me reading to you for my one line a day journal, that's how to feel satisfied with your celebrations. Okay, now I'm Gonna read you the tattoo story. Ready? Cause we do have time. So I shared this last year, in the end of 2020. What year are we in now?
Kaz Adachi
At the end of 2023, when I had my birthday because I got a tattoo.
Kendra Adachi
So this was in my newsletter in the latest lazy letter. If you do not already get it.
Kaz Adachi
Maybe this will motivate you to sign.
Kendra Adachi
Up because it is a good time and I share stories like this. Okay. My tattoo story. I've always wanted a tattoo. They're ridiculously cool. My main style word. And they're usually black. My main style color. And of course, the poetry of meaningful permanence on the body is rad. I really love tattoos, but I hate pain. And needles and pain from needles. I always knew that if I ever got a tattoo, it would only be because I couldn't say no to the actual idea. Back in October, the idea took shape. Sad story alert. When I was a kid, my father was abusive and my sweet mom was crippled with mental illness. I felt alone most of the time. Then I watched the Sound of Music, and the Von Trapps became my family. We recorded the movie when it was on TV, and I spent the late 80s wearing that VHS tape, ragged. I've seen the Sound of Music dozens and dozens, if not hundreds of times. All three hours watching it once a day, sometimes twice, for weeks straight. I still know every word to that film. I might even know every word to the TV commercials. It was my lifeline. The last line of the title song is, and I'll sing once more. And when that phrase came to mind, I knew I had my tattoo.
Kaz Adachi
I wanted this tattoo.
Kendra Adachi
It's about music. It is music. It's obviously connected to this deeply meaningful movie. It's redemptive, and it even has vibes of starting small. Once more not and I'll sing forever. Or I'll sing until I can't sing anymore. Just once more. I could cry just thinking about it. But as we transition into part two of our story, I could cry for other reasons as well. Just a couple of weeks ago, on my 42nd birthday, I walked into Tate Street Tattoo Company, a bundle of excited nerves. I was greeted by Vassar, who already knew from a series of DMs that this was my first tattoo, and she was so excited for me. Vassar had already done the text work for my phrase and placed the template on my arm to find the right spot. Once we both felt good about it, the time came. I sat in the chair, put my left arm into her capable hands, and took A deep breath. Let's take a short break and talk about pain for a second. Many of my favorite people have tattoos, and I've heard them describe the process. It doesn't hurt too bad, or it.
Kaz Adachi
Didn'T hurt as much as I thought.
Kendra Adachi
It would, or it's really mindful. Actually. Forgive me, but bs I can't say that here because we are a non e podcast, but I did not say BS in my email.
Kaz Adachi
Y'all, I have pushed three human babies out of my body with just the aid of nature's hormones. I can handle pain. I don't like it, but I can handle it.
Kendra Adachi
This pain was awful. Absolutely, positively awful. It wasn't that I was just getting tattooed. I was the needle. Even still, I knew I could manage it. Mind over matter, right? So I kept breathing slow and deep, telling my body that everything was okay, y'all. She did not listen. In fact, she turned into an overstimulated toddler and freaked all the way out. Within seconds, my back was soaked with sweat. I started seeing stars in my suddenly blurry vision. I was actively trying to not throw up. When Vassar asked me if I was okay, I could barely hear her. It sounded like she was on the far end of a tunnel made of cotton balls and I was on the other end in a chair of pain. She stopped tattooing, got me some water, and talked to me without an ounce of judgment. What do you need? How can I help? I said, I think I need to go to the bathroom. I hobbled down the short hallway, and my apologies to whoever went in there after me, I straight up destroyed that bathroom. It was the scene from Bridesmaids. I had no control. Everything came out and I was just there for the ride. Thankfully, the evacuation also took some of the panic out of my body, and I could see and hear again. What a gift. I walked back to Vassar's booth on baby deer legs. You okay to keep going? Because we only have the letter A. I'm sorry, what? Unsurprisingly, only having one of 17 letters was deeply disappointing news. For a second, I thought about stopping. I mean, my name is Adachi. I could make a random A in the middle of my arm work. I'm nothing if not resourceful. But I knew I would make it. I knew it would only be the worst 15 minutes of my life, and then it would be over. Side note, how you boneheads sit in a chair for multiple hours getting these things is absolutely chaotic to me. Live your truth, but holy moly. So I sat back down and Vassar kept going. Remember the thing about pushing out three babies so I sounded like I was birthing a fourth? I straight up went into Lamaze breathing and moaning and groaning and doing all the things you're supposed to do to let the pain out. I even sang an unhinged, torturous the.
Kaz Adachi
Hills Are Alive with the Sound of Music. That the choice, like wasn't as spiritually helpful as I had hoped it would be. Vassar laughed at that one, because I'm pretty sure no one had Rage sung Rogers and Hammerstein in her chair before.
Kendra Adachi
Two metaphorical bluey episodes later, it was over. I had a full phrase, not just.
Kaz Adachi
An A. I had done it.
Kendra Adachi
As I walked into the previously empty waiting area, I was met with six sets of eyes that obviously couldn't decide if actual eye contact was a good idea at this point. I mean, they did just hear me loudly chant, holy S word, I can do this. Holy S word, I can do this. Over and over again. Frankly, I wouldn't have known whether to look at me either.
Kaz Adachi
So to ease the tension in the room, I triumphantly lifted my emotionally broken arm into the air and I said, I did it, everybody. I'm okay. You all will survive this. I was met with, like, a smattering.
Kendra Adachi
Of hesitant applause and suddenly realized that I had just become their new tattoo story. I generously tipped Vassar for her time, expertise, and delightful compassion, and she replied, you were a lot of fun. I hope to see you in my.
Kaz Adachi
Chair again, but something tells me I never will. I practically yelled back at her, nope, you won't.
Kendra Adachi
And I walked out the door.
Kaz Adachi
Oh, it's such a great story. So that's what happened on my 42nd birthday. And I love my tattoo. I'm so glad I have it, and I'm so glad I never have to do it again.
Kendra Adachi
I don't always have stories that are quite that riveting in the newsletter, but.
Kaz Adachi
It'S a good time over there. So if you have never signed up for it, I encourage you to do that. You can do that at the lazy genius club collective.com join okay, at the.
Kendra Adachi
Beginning of the year, we're gonna close up shop here. At the beginning of the year, a lot of people are getting back into the routines, some of which involve listening to podcasts. There are literally millions of podcasts you could choose to listen to, but in your limited time, you choose this one. And I genuinely am so grateful. One way to help other people know what to choose is to share a review of the show on Apple Podcasts share why you love this show, maybe a favorite episode, or whatever kind words you would like to say. The kindness isn't for my sake, it's to help other curious listeners know if the show is worth their time. Because again, there are millions of shows to choose from. As of now, the only main platform that allows you to leave reviews is Apple Podcasts. And if you can do that through your app or on their website, that would be amazing. So thank you for taking the time to do that. It helps supports the show and your future fellow Lazy Geniuses. Okay, before we go, let's celebrate the Lazy Genius of the Week. This week it's Natasha Napper. Natasha writes, the principle of Decide once has given way to my most prized decision. When I need to take food or contribute to a meal or even pack a picnic, that decision is simply potato. I can roast potatoes. If it's a winter dinner with family, I can make a potato salad. For picnics and events, I can do a potato bake for a barbecue. It can even be as simple as a bag of chips or hot chips from the takeaway shop. By this one, we clearly know that Natasha is British. This Decide once has saved me countless decision reinventions. It's cost effective and easy.
Kaz Adachi
Not only that, I kind of love being Potato Girl. Is this maybe the greatest Lazy Genius of the Week submission of all time? Like maybe. I think we all want to be Potato girl now. I want to be Potato girl.
Kendra Adachi
This is yet one more reason and one more example why the Lazy Genius principles are so helpful. They give you just enough direction and just enough of a limit to make your life easier without putting you in a box. And the possibilities of how you use and apply them are just endless. Natasha is a Potato girl and we're all happy for her. So thank you so much for sharing, Natasha, and congratulations on being the Lazy Genius of the Week. This episode is hosted by me, Kendra Adachi, an executive produced by Kendra Adachi, Jenna Fisher and Angela Kinsey. The Lazy Genius podcast is enthusiastically part of the Office Ladies Network. Special thanks to Leah Jarvis for weekly production. Thanks y'all for listening. And until next time, be a genius about the things that matter and lazy about the things that don't. I'm Kendra and I'll see you next week.
Leah Jarvis
Hey, I'm Ben Stiller. I'm Adam Scott and we make a TV show called Severance on January 17th. Severance is back for season two on Apple TV plus and we can't wait for you guys to see it. And before the premiere, Ben and I are going to be binging Season one and putting out daily recap podcasts. Yep, each weekday beginning January 7th, we'll be dropping an episode featuring exclusive behind the scenes tidbits and brilliant insights from our cast and crew and us Patricia Arquette, Britt Lauer, Zach Cherry, John Turturro. The list goes on. All your favorite Lumen employees, their friends, families, enemies in your feed every single weekday. And here's the best part. After that, we're gonna keep going. Tune in weekly as we recap every episode of Season two. The podcast drops on the same day the episode comes out. It's the Severance Podcast with Ben and Adam on Apple Podcasts, the Odysee app, or wherever you get your podcasts.
The Lazy Genius Podcast: Episode #400 - How to Feel Satisfied with Your Celebrations
Host: Kendra Adachi, The Lazy Genius
Release Date: January 13, 2025
In milestone Episode #400 of The Lazy Genius Podcast, host Kendra Adachi delves into the intricate dynamics of celebrating life’s moments. Titled "How to Feel Satisfied with Your Celebrations," Kendra aims to shift listeners' perspectives on celebrations, emphasizing personal satisfaction over societal expectations. This episode is particularly poignant as Kendra intertwines her own birthday experiences with broader insights on finding contentment in various forms of celebration.
Kendra opens the episode by sharing her personal journey through the past four years of birthdays, offering a window into how her perceptions of celebration have evolved.
40th Birthday (2021):
Kendra describes a challenging day marked by emotional lows. "Slept in until 8, had a weird solo day where I cried in Sarah's kebab shop and came home early from shopping downtown because I had a headache from crying." ([04:15]). The culmination of the day was derailed when her planned birthday dinner was canceled due to a COVID exposure, leaving her feeling disappointed and unfulfilled.
41st Birthday (2022):
Contrasting her 40th, Kendra recalls a more serene celebration. "House cleaner came. So we left the house for an early breakfast... Went to Bookmarks, had pizza with a big family, and drove through the Christmas lights." ([05:37]). This experience underscored the joy found in simple, family-oriented activities without the pressure of grandiose plans.
42nd Birthday (2023):
This year was a blend of ordinary and memorable moments. From getting a tattoo to enjoying dinner with friends, Kendra reflects on a day that was both wild and rewarding. She highlights how unexpected events, like her tattoo experience, added unique layers to her celebration ([06:46]).
43rd Birthday (2024):
The latest birthday encapsulated ultimate relaxation for Kendra. "Slept until 9:30, read in bed most of the day, got visits from mom and Hannah... Family dinner at Cugino." ([07:09]). This birthday epitomized contentment achieved through rest, family connections, and personal indulgence.
Central to Kendra's discussion is the distinction between satisfaction and the pursuit of greatness in celebrations. She articulates that satisfaction is a more attainable and personal state, free from the heavy expectations that often accompany societal norms of elaborate celebrations.
Defining Satisfaction:
Kendra explains, "Satisfaction means contented or pleased... it feels more soulful. We're happy with enough. We're happy here." ([04:50]). This contrasts with the often external pressures to create memorable and grand events.
Impact of Expectations:
Using examples like weddings and birthday parties, Kendra illustrates how elevated expectations can lead to dissatisfaction. "Every party has to outdo the last one... the lens of greatness... Leaving us unless satisfied because our gauge is greatness." ([09:20])
Personal Perspective:
She emphasizes that satisfaction is subjective. "Whatever makes you feel contented and pleased is personal, and you get to decide what that is." ([04:55]). This empowers listeners to tailor their celebrations to their own definitions of happiness.
Kendra shares a heartwarming story about her husband, Kaz, turning 50, highlighting the beauty of simple, meaningful celebrations.
Kaz’s Preference:
Despite turning 50, Kaz expresses no desire for grand parties or extensive planning. Instead, he finds joy in family trips and being together. "The man has no greater pleasure than that. It makes him so happy." ([14:56])
Celebration Plan:
Responding to Kaz’s wishes, Kendra arranges a family trip to Atlanta to visit the Koch Museum, an interest Kaz has long held. Kaz’s excitement underscores the fulfillment derived from meeting personal desires rather than conforming to external expectations. "He is so happy and he's already satisfied with that." ([15:07])
Lesson Learned:
This experience reinforces the episode’s central theme: true satisfaction in celebrations comes from aligning them with personal values and desires, rather than adhering to societal pressures.
Kendra offers actionable strategies to help listeners cultivate satisfaction in their own celebrations:
Adjusting Expectations:
Recognize and modify expectations to align with what truly matters to you. Let go of the need for grandiosity and embrace what brings genuine joy.
Communicating Desires:
"Tell someone. Tell your partner... If you don't move towards having your expectations fulfilled, you're going to be crying in a kebab shop like I did." ([16:40]) Open communication ensures that your celebration reflects your true desires.
Embracing Simplicity:
Simple celebrations can be deeply satisfying. Whether it's a quiet day in or a small family gathering, find contentment in what feels right for you.
Flexible Planning:
Be open to changes and unexpected events. Flexibility can transform potential disappointments into memorable moments.
Concluding the episode, Kendra honors Natasha Napper as the Lazy Genius of the Week for her "Decide Once" principle, which simplifies decision-making by establishing reliable defaults—in Natasha’s case, always choosing potatoes for meals.
Kendra shares, "The possibilities of how you use and apply them are just endless. Natasha is a Potato girl and we're all happy for her." ([29:01])
This acknowledgment underscores the podcast’s ethos of creating efficient systems that reduce stress and enhance satisfaction in everyday life.
Episode #400 of The Lazy Genius Podcast masterfully navigates the complexities of celebrating life’s milestones. Through personal anecdotes and insightful discussions, Kendra Adachi encourages listeners to redefine satisfaction, prioritize personal happiness, and dismiss external pressures for grandeur. By fostering a mindset centered on contentment and meaningful connections, Kendra provides a roadmap for celebrating in ways that truly resonate with individual values and desires.
Listeners are left with a profound understanding that the essence of celebration lies not in the scale of the event, but in the authenticity of the experience and the joy it brings to their lives.
Notable Quotes:
"Satisfaction means contented or pleased... it feels more soulful. We're happy with enough. We're happy here." — Kendra Adachi ([04:50])
"Every party has to outdo the last one... the lens of greatness... Leaving us unless satisfied because our gauge is greatness." — Kendra Adachi ([09:20])
"Tell someone. Tell your partner... If you don't move towards having your expectations fulfilled, you're going to be crying in a kebab shop like I did." — Kendra Adachi ([16:40])
"The possibilities of how you use and apply them are just endless. Natasha is a Potato girl and we're all happy for her." — Kendra Adachi ([29:01])
As you reflect on your own celebrations, remember Kendra’s wisdom: be a genius about the things that matter and lazy about the things that don’t.