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This episode is sponsored by Cozy Earth. You know how there are certain clothes you put on at the end of a long summer day and your whole body goes thank you. Finally. That's been Cozy Earth for me. They're all day tee and the women's rib knit pajama set are so soft you can't help but notice it. They're not heavy or clingy like a standard cotton tee can be when it's hot outside. The rib knit pajamas especially surprised me. They're soft without being slouchy, cool without feeling flimsy, and they make the whole getting ready for bed situation feel like a little cue to your body that you're done for the day. Cozy Earth stands behind everything they make too, with a lifetime warranty and 30 days of hassle free returns on clothing. If anything isn't right, summer lives here. Head to cozyearth.com and use my code LGPOD for an exclusive 20% off. That's code LGPOD for an exclusive twenty percent off. And if you see a post purchase survey mention that you heard about Cozier Earth right here. 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I'm Kendra Adachi. Today is a bonus episode perfect for the middle of summer. Chances are good you are having people over or you really want to. Summer just feels like an ideal time to invite people over for a cookout or to hang out and watch the World cup, which you still have a couple weeks to do. Whether you are a seasoned host freaked out to invite people over or somewhere in the wide middle. This episode will be a big help. I personally do love having people over, but that's not always been the case. So I've gotten a lot of reps from years of inviting folks over and that means I've learned what makes sense for me, what makes hosting easy and fun, and what matters to me the most. So in this episode from just last year, I share the five things that matter the most to me about having people over and then 10 things I always do. It's a light, fun, hopefully relatable episode that will get you in the mindset of having some folks over the summer and feeling like yourself when you do it. Also, in case you missed it from Monday's episode, we would love for you to participate in our annual Lazy Genius survey. Three random participants will get a 100 gift card to the store of their choice as a thank you, but we're grateful for every person who fills this out. It helps us make the best decisions for you in the coming year so that we can make episodes, emails, products and books that you're excited for. You can find a link in the show notes of this episode to fill out that survey. All right, time for 10 Things I Do When I have People Over. Hope you enjoy. Hi there. You're listening to the Lazy Genius podcast. I'm Kendra Adachi. This podcast isn't about hacking the system to find more time or or hacking your energy to get more done. Hustling to be the best or to make the most out of every opportunity is exhausting and unsustainable. So here we do things differently on this podcast. We value contentment, compassion and living in your season. We favor small steps over big systems. Here we are, lazy geniuses, being a genius about the things that matter and lazy about the things that don't. And I'm sorry. So glad you're here. Today is episode 437, 10 Things I Always Do When I have People Over. Now, you might not love having people over as much as I do, which is likely because I'm. I'm kind of obsessed with it. But I do think you love people. This is a community that values people and relationships and connection. And having people into our homes is so integral for us to build homes and neighborhoods and entire cultures that tend to each other, that enjoy being together, and that let each other in. So I'm going to share what personally matters to me about hospitality and the 10 things I always do to support it. You don't have to follow my list or value what I value. But I think the structure could help you name what matters to you and see how some things you already do are contributing to a spirit of hospitality that you didn't even notice. After that, we'll have a little extra something in the form of my favorite hosting recipes. I have some go tos or some decide once meals that I usually make so I'll share those. They will also be listed and linked when there is a link in the next podcast recap email. So if you get that, don't worry about taking notes. It'll be in the latest Lazy Listens email. As always, we'll celebrate the lazy genius of the week and we'll close things out with a mini pep talk for when you're lonely. Now, before we get into the episode, I wanted to let you know that the plan my book on compassionate time management. It is on sale right now in the Kindle store. If price is often an issue for you when you read books, sometimes the best Choice is a $2 ebook. So if that is you, the plan is currently A$99, which is amazing. And if you know someone who would enjoy reading the book, you can click on the button below, buy for others and have the book delivered to a friend. That's cheaper than like a small black coffee. And it's still pretty energizing. It's just in a different way, I guess. The sale will likely last through this week, so grab a cheap copy of the plan if you have been interested in reading it. Fall is a great time to have a more compassionate take on time management. All right, let's get into the 10 things I always do when I have people over. First, let's set the stage for hospitality and what it actually is. So the dictionary says that it is the friendly, generous and welcoming treatment of guests, visitors, or strangers. I want to look at some of those words real quick. So hospitality is friendly. You know, you're seeing the person, you're making them feel safe. You're looking them in the eye. You're valuing their presence with you. Hospitality is friendly. Hospitality is also generous. You're giving them something of your own, whether it's food or time, a listening ear, or just a safe place to be themselves. Hospitality is also welcoming. You're willing and eager to open the door, both literally and figuratively. You're saying, come on in. I'm so glad you're here with your voice, but also with your actions. And hospitality shows all of these things to guests, which are people we invite, to visitors, which are people who are new and to strangers, which are people we don't know at all. We can be hospitable and create that culture in our homes, but also at work and in our cars while we're driving. That is one for me specifically. And waiting in the school pickup line or at the DMV or walking the dog around the neighborhood. Prioritizing friendliness, generosity and welcome are keystones in helping people feel seen and known when in this world. Not just around your table now specifically in your home. Well, really, in my home, I have five words that direct my specific expression of hospitality. I value these five things being true when I have people over and they impact the things that I choose to do. That's true everywhere, right? What you believe determines what you do. What you value determines what you choose. What matters to you determines who you spend your time and energy on, what you're doing, how you move in the world. That's why naming what matters is so important. Otherwise, you're just kind of floating on autopilot, responding to the priorities and values of people around you instead of being guided from within you. That's true in life and it's true in hospitality. So my five words that matter most when having people over and frankly, the five words that direct the culture of our home, even when it's just my family there, are warm, relaxed, confident, thoughtful, and safe. When it comes to hospitality, I want the people I have over to feel like they belong and are not in the way. That is warmth. It's welcoming, you know, just as it was described in the definition of hospitality, warmth really matters. Relaxed. I want people to feel at ease. I also want to feel at ease. You know, I want to be relaxed. I want to be a host who is present and with people even if things are undone around me. Right. Confident. I want to be a confident host and that I am a steady guide to what is happening next. I think when we're under the guidance or leadership of a confident person, not an arrogant person, it allows us to also feel confident. It's a certain level of safety to trust the person who's in charge, and then that helps us trust ourselves in that situation. Too thoughtful. I want to consider the experience of the people that I have over and what might make them feel seen and cared for. Thoughtfulness is in the details. It requires empathy, and it's also very kind. And then finally, safe. I want the people I have over to feel like they can totally be themselves. Safety doesn't necessarily have to mean, like, deep, vulnerable conversations, even though it certainly can. But it's more about no pretense, no expectations, no judgment, no room for that person to feel like they have to perform in order to be in my home or be with me and my family. That really starts with my own safety and lack of performance. When I'm just me and safe with myself, others can more easily be safe with themselves too. So those are the five words that matter to me about hospitality. Warm, relaxed, confident, thoughtful, and safe. Now before we get into the 10 things I always do when I have people over based on those five things that matter to me and before we take an ad break, which makes this episode free for you to listen to, thank you so much. Sponsors here's your quick reminder that we send out a podcast recap email every other Friday. It's called Latest Lazy Listens. We it summarizes the episode, it shares the lazy genius of the week as well as other segments that we have on the show like today. It'll have a list of my go to recipes when I have people over, and there's also an extra little note for me to help encourage you through the weekend. So if you would like to get that recap, head to the lazygeniuscollective.com listens this episode is sponsored by Square. I pay attention to the small businesses in my neighborhood, especially the places where the experience feels easy and the people working there aren't fighting for their lives with checkout system. One of those places for us is Aussies, our local ice cream shop. It's owned by friends. I'm already happy because ice cream is involved, obviously, but I also notice how simple everything is like you order, you tap your card, you get your receipt and everyone can keep moving without their ice cream melting. That's what Square helps small businesses do. Square brings payments, pos, inventory, staffing, online sales, and more together in one place so business owners don't have to juggle a million different systems. And just to keep the day moving, Square helps you run your business more smoothly, bringing payments, operations and insights together in one place so you're ready for whatever's next. Right now, listeners can get up to $200 off square hardware when you sign up at square.com go lazygenius that's sq u a r e.com go lazygenius. Get started with Square and build a setup that works the way you do. This episode is sponsored by Dell. Back to school starts now. Get long lasting battery life on the Dell XPS laptop powered by Series 3 Intel Core so you can work from anywhere. Now starting at $699 with exclusive student pricing starting at $599. And it's lightweight, portable, and packed with enough processing power to make multitasking a breeze. So say goodbye to distractions and hello to more free time. Because you've finished your work faster, complete your setup with savings on select monitors and more. Must have electronics and accessories, limited time deals and free shipping on PCs and more await you@dell.com deals. That's Dell.com deals. Okay, so my hospitality words are warm, relaxed, confident, thoughtful, and safe. Maybe this inspires you to come up with your own hospitality words that help direct the choices that you make. Now, I have 10 things that I do every time I have someone over, and I'm really excited to share them with you. Sometimes we forget how simple things can make a big difference, but when we're thoughtful about them, like, see, that's actually one of my five words. When we're thoughtful about those things, they really can create an experience for people that makes them feel the most like themselves when they come over to our house. All right, number one, I always have yummy food. Always. Now, do I always make it myself? Not necessarily. I do have some go tos, like I said, that I'll share at the end of the episode, and today's a little extra something. But yummy does not have to mean homemade. In fact, I would so much rather be present with takeout than frazzled with something homemade. So if homemade food makes you feel overwhelmed, don't worry about it. Just make whatever food you get yummy. I love yummy food so much. I mean, I think. I think we all do. But food that satisfies, that activates your senses, that brings you pleasure, and then eating that food with people, it is so deeply connective and satisfying. In fact, there is research from the University of Oxford, and it determined that the more people eat with others, the more happy they are with their lives. People who eat socially feel better about themselves and have a stronger social network, which contributes to dealing with more difficult circumstances when they arise. So sharing food, especially yummy food, it creates bonding in the actual moment of eating. It is good for our souls, you guys. So I always have yummy food, whether I make it or not. So that's number one. Okay, Number two, I always have a hosting buddy. All right, what's a hosting buddy? So it's someone who shares the same values of hospitality that you do and who knows you well enough to jump in when you need help. Now, that person can be your spouse if you have one. But it can also be someone else that you invite. So we have a family that we do a lot with. And often if I'm having someone over for the first time, I will actually invite this family too. Just to extend the social connections with the new friends, but also to have a hosting buddy, to have my friend there who knows me and my house and what matters when it comes to people who doesn't feel weird, like, bumping around in my cabinets and drawers to find stuff, who can notice that the tzatziki needs a spoon, who can cut the chicken while I greet new friends who've just come over and be present with them. Having a hosting buddy is like, such a gift. And because I do tend to get in the direction of, like, frazzled, if I'm left unchecked, having someone who is calm and knows me and is helping me cook or say hi or whatever, it really keeps me the most like myself. So that's the second thing that I always do when I have somebody over is I have a hosting buddy. Number three. I always save a task or two for introverts who do not want to deal with small talk or for people who just, like, want to help. You know, they just. They want to. They want to be put to work when they come over. So I will intentionally leave, like, water pitchers empty. Or I will leave plates stacked on the table rather than set around the table. I'll ask someone to spoon hummus from the container into a bowl. Or, you know, to ask someone to be like, hey, can you ask everybody who wants cheese on their burgers? Like, I love saving tasks. And because someone will always either offer to help or look like they really need something to do with their hands, like they're just not ready yet. And on the rare chance that neither thing happens, I'll just ask someone to fill the water pitcher if I need help. Like, no harm, no foul. So that's the third thing I always do. The fourth thing I always do when I have people over is have something where folks can immediately help themselves. An appetizer, if you will, bread, drinks, even putting out, like, little spoons if somebody wants to taste the. The tikka masala before we eat it or something. I think wedding, the appetite is lovely. But I also think having an obvious place where people can go and know what to do with the confident prompting of me, of course, can contribute to the people who come over. They experience warmth, they feel relaxed. They might be so hungry. So, like, some cheese on the counter is water in the desert, man. Or, like, just having drinks Already out or something like that. It can be so lovely. This is another reason I love having a hosting buddy. Because they could make like pre dinner cocktails, you know, maybe if that's your thing, they can be make it a whole event in the beginning. It's so hospitable. Like, think about it, having someone care enough to make you a drink to order. And like, seriously, that's so fun. It feels so special. So that's the fourth thing. I always have something out where people can immediately help themselves. Number five, I always play music. Holy moly. Always music. Part of the reason for that is that when a new person walks into a new place and it's super quiet, any pause in conversation, it feels bigger. Now listen. Pauses and awkwardness, they're just part and parcel to hosting. Like, they happen, it's going to be fine. But music, it fills in the gaps in a way that's like, it's just too easy to ignore. Now. For a while I would forget to start the music until after the first person arrived. And I like noticed the silence. So I was kind of like scrambling to find something to play. It felt like I was trying to cover the silence. It was the thing. It was a whole thing. Now I just always start music when I'm making dinner or like a solid half an hour before people come over. It calms me down. It makes me feel relaxed and have a good time. And then it's already playing when people arrive, Right? Of course, I love breezy instrumental as the background for just about anything. That's a playlist I have on Spotify. But I do think something like oldies, that's like a really great call. Have you ever had someone make you an old Fashioned while Ray Charles is singing in the background? Like, that's a great vibe right there, man. So I always play music. It creates warmth, it makes me and the other people feel more relaxed. It's thoughtful because of that. Hiding over silences, which can be a kindness for people who are nervous about conversation. And it's just fun. It's always connective when people who haven't known each other very long start singing the same thing at the same time because it just came on. It's like when you can't not sing the chorus to Living on a Prayer when it comes on the radio or whatever, right? Everybody does it. Well, we're halfway. You have to. And then suddenly everybody's on the same team. It's just the best music is the best music is the best. Okay. The sixth thing I always do when I have people over is clean the bathroom. I am definitely a fan of imperfect hospitality. And I don't think everything needs to be cleaned within an inch of its life or that you have to, like, cram everything into a closet like Monica did on Friends. When someone is coming over and lived in homes are deeply hospitable. But I do think for me, having a clean bathroom, it contributes to my priority of being thoughtful. Like doing a quick vacuum of the floor, a quick wipe of the toilet and the sink with two different Clorox wipes. Making sure there's, like, plenty of toilet paper that's in an obvious place that's very visible, right? Even having a bottle of poop spray or air freshener or a lit candle. Those things can be really nice to help someone feel safe if they just have no choice but to poop in your home. Like, we all poop, and we all poop in multiple places. But there is an insecurity for a lot of us when we have to poop at someone else's house, especially someone we don't know or someone who's, like, waiting on us in the kitchen with an old Fashioned. So making that bathroom experience feel clean and warm and safe is a way that I like to be hospitable. Now, I still have, like, patched holes on my bathroom wall that have not been sanded and painted yet, but the bathroom is always clean when someone comes over. The seventh thing I always do when I have people over is have a question or two ready to go. Some kind of conversation starter. I used to work hard at coming up with something super interesting or thoughtful or fun. Or I would just, like, forget beforehand and go with something like, you know, off the top of my head, like, have you read anything good lately? Which, like, is a great question sometimes, but it's not a guaranteed conversation generator. And not everybody loves to read in the same way. Well, then I found Priya Parker's concept of magical questions. Priya Parker is the author of one of my favorite books ever, the Art of Gathering. She really, like, affirmed my love of gathering and hospitality. That confidence, that confident value that I hold really came from Priya giving me permission to be a confident host. So if you love to be hospitable or you actually really struggle with it, the Art of Gathering is such a. A great book. Anyway, so Priya has this concept of magical questions. Okay, not the magic question, but magical questions. So a magical question is a question that you are interested in answering and everyone else is interested in hearing other people's answers. So like everybody wants to answer it, but everybody also wants to hear all the answers. So having a handful of those at the ready that you can always ask, that is legit magical. Because sometimes questions we ask to connect a group, they can fall flat. And then you might feel the pressure of like being the host and picking up the conversation and keeping it going, y'. All. I am extroverted. I love having people in my home. I am relational. I love talking to people and hearing from people. I am a natural connector. I love when people are connecting with each other. I am well suited to do this on my own. I and I often ask questions that are absolute duds. So don't assume that everyone just knows how to ask these questions. They're cultivated and gathered and practiced. You can totally be an introvert and have five magical questions in your mental inventory that you can just pull out, even just one to start a conversation. Often it just takes one spark to open up a whole conversation that lasts a long time or that creates opportunities to ask follow up questions about other people as they share things about themselves. Magical questions are amazing and they're for anyone to use. A couple of favorites from Priya's collection are, what posters did you have on your wall when you were a teenager? What was your first job and would you ever do it again? What is a path you almost took but didn't? And what is your anti pet peeve? Something so small that brings you like outsized joy instead of outsized frustration? Aren't those also great? Don't you want to answer them and hear other people's answers? That's the beauty of a magical question. So even people who are less inclined to talk publicly, they're probably going to feel fairly comfortable entering into a conversation like this. So the seventh thing I always do is have a question ready to go. But now that I have Priya Parker's concept of magical questions, it's even better. The eighth thing I always do when I have people over is listen for relational connections. This is how I'm wired. So this is not a mandate for everyone. But because I care about people feeling relaxed and safe, and because hospitality is also about connecting people to each other, I'm always looking for overlaps in what people say. I have a very linear brain, surprise, surprise. And I joke that I have a mental file folder on every person I know. Like I actively remember things about them, favorite things, ways they like to relax or enjoy life, weird jobs they had, teams that they like. All kinds of things I just remember and I enjoy that Remembering. One of the best parts of that is finding things that exist in the file folders of different people that I'm with that are the same. It's that thing when you're having dinner with some people and like, one person says they graduated from high school in the town where you live, and you're like, wait, me too. What's cool? And then you find out that you like both know the same band kid name Steve, even though you graduated in different years or something. Or you connect to people who are packers fans who happen to live in the south, or two people who run marathons, or two people who have dogs and love the same dog park. Like, I love looking for relational connections because I think they make people feel relaxed and safe. The ninth thing that I always do when I have people over is to keep at least one thing very low key, or even childlike. It's usually in regards to the food, but not always food. Sometimes it's music, which is why I like oldies. There's nostalgia there. Or if it's friends of a certain age and ilk, I'll play like 90s boy bands because that's just too much fun. But usually the low key, childlike thing is food. Boxed brownies and ice cream for dessert, Grilled cheese and tomato soup for dinner. But, like, really, really yummy versions. Popsicles, bowls of M&Ms. S'. Mores. Oh, my goodness, S'. Mores. Having something that's just so beautifully low key that taps into a little nostalgia and like, childlike wonder is such an easy but thoughtful way to create warmth and make someone feel relaxed. And finally, the tenth thing I always do when I have people over is go first. If there are apps out, I point them out to the people, like, hey, here's some, you know, cheese and whatever. And then I'll take one like. Or I'll say, I'm having a cocktail. Would anyone else like one while I'm making it? Most definitely. I'm gonna sit down at the table at the same time as everyone else, rather than, like, moving around to make sure everyone has what they need. They probably do. But if I'm not with people when they're eating, especially people who have, like, Southern manners and are thinking, like, should we wait for her? She's still in the kitchen. Like, should we eat yet? That doesn't put people at ease. So go first. Or at least go with, right? Be with your guests and visitors and strangers and friends. This is based on my own values. And again, we can all have different ones, but I think that it's easier for new friends and nervous guests to feel more relaxed if they're following my lead or they're not feeling like they're a burden because I'm doing something for them that I am also not taking part in. So I always go first or at least go with. So to recap, the five words that matter to me about hospitality are warm, relaxed, confident, thoughtful, and safe. To support those I always have yummy food. I always have a hosting buddy. I always save a task or two for introverts or for people who want to help. I always have something where folks can immediately help themselves. I always play music. I always clean the bathroom. I always have a question or two ready to go. I always listen for relational connections. I always keep at least one thing very low key or childlike. And I always go first or at least go with. And those are the 10 things I always do when I have people over this episode is sponsored by Merit Beauty. I really love Merit Beauty because it feels like they actually care about how most of us get ready in the morning. Like I'm not trying to do a full face, I'm just trying to look awake and like myself before I leave for the day. So I have loved the Minimalist foundation and concealer stick for such a long time. 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I have some things that are my decide once meals which it makes it so much easier when people do come over. Fewer decisions to worry about. Plus the more you have people over and make the same types of things, the more confident you get with those things or even just one meal. It doesn't have to be multiple. It could just be one. So one thing I always do too, that I. I didn't mention this earlier is I have takeout containers that I don't need back. Like, I always have a stock in my pantry of those like cylindrical plastic deli containers that Ina Garten always used and also like rectangular black ones with a lid. I have tiny condiment cups with lids. I use those for sauces or chopped herbs or something. These are all super helpful when you are packing up leftovers when people are at your house, or when you're taking food to someone new. Sending people home with food or taking food to their home in containers that they do not have to return to you is one of the greatest kindnesses of all time. So a quick honorable mention for a meal that I love to bring to people to their own homes, not necessarily when they come over, even though I have done it when people come over is Kate Strickler's black bean soup with some simple cheese quesadillas. It has become my new take dinner to people meal. I always have the ingredients, like, always, always. Most of them are pantry staples or just like things we always have in the house. The soup is so easy, bizarrely delicious for being as simple as it is even for people who don't love black beans. And this meal, it taps into that low key, childlike thing I mentioned earlier. It's just so dagum comforting. So I put soup in two quart deli containers, one for eating and one for freezing for another day that I send both to the people. I make some quesadillas in a cast iron skillet after microwaving the quesadilla first for like 30 seconds to give the melted cheese like a little, a little boost, right? A little rocket fuel. So I cook the quesadillas. I cut those up, I put them in one of those lidded containers. I might plop a few dollops of sour cream, maybe some chopped green onions, maybe some shredded cheese, and like those little smaller containers. And then I drop all that off in a paper bag if I had time that day. I will also make box brownies. I always add a little bit of espresso powder, vanilla salt, and chocolate chunks. I stir that into whatever box brownie mix I use, which is usually the. Is it Ghirardelli triple chocolate? I think that's my favorite box brownie mix, but I always add those things in. That is also comforting, right? So this whole meal is, it's easy, it's protein heavy, but it's also vegetarian. Friendly, which is nice. It can be made gluten free by just swapping out quesadillas with corn tortillas instead of flour or just using like tortilla chips instead of quesadillas. You can grab a pint of ice cream instead of making brownies. If the person is gluten free and you're all set, it's just like the best go to. So thank you, Kate for making that amazing black bean soup. Everybody Google and nap Time Kitchen Black Bean soup. It's her version of Change youe Like chicken. Like, I'm gonna have a chicken on my tombstone. She's gonna have a can of black beans on hers. Okay, now for hosting at home. So I do love making homemade pizza when people come over. If you've been here a while, you know this pizza is one of my favorite foods. It's just delicious. Obviously it's versatile, it's fun and it's nostalgic. It's like immediately low key, still super yummy. Which are two things I always do. Another go to meal when people are coming over is my chicken shawarma. We will link that in the show notes and definitely in the podcast recap email. You can also just Google it. I will make that. And then depending on time, I might make or buy rice, naan, tzatziki, hummus. I might chop up some cherry tomatoes or something. I might pickle some onions. Like, I don't know. It's also a really great meal to have people bring something to help out. Especially if you're having people over that you often have over. You can just be like, hey, can you grab naan from Nazareth Bread on your way here? Like done right. That, that chicken. That chicken, it's a monster win. I also love an Asian rice bowl. I'll make a bunch of rice. I'll cook some ground beef in like soy sauce and ginger, maybe some mirin, which is like sweetened. Like an Asian situation that's like sweet. Some sriracha, maybe for heat. And then there are like a million things that you can add to that, right? And I might make a bunch of them. I might invite other people to bring those things. Cabbage salad, pickled onions, roasted broccoli or roasted carrots, sauces, mint and cilantro, green onion. It's always so good. It's always so good. And then again, brownies, ice cream, a big slab of chocolate cake for dessert. And then finally the other go to is like, we'll just grill burgers and hot dogs. Sides can be anything, homemade, store bought. Just chips and fruit, things brought by others. Easy. And it's nostalgic as well. Plus, it's easy enough to throw on a veggie burger for any vegans who are in the house. So homemade pizza, chicken shawarma, Asian rice bowls, and hamburgers and hot dogs. Those are my go to meals when I'm having people over. And I always have dessert because of course I do. And that's today's a little extra something. All right, let's celebrate the lazy genius of the week. This week, it's Andrea Gregory. Andrea writes, we are on a road where everyone has 10 acres. Our houses are not close together, and so if you want to get to know your neighbors, you have to be intentional. Connection with my neighbors is important to me. So we began something when we moved in that I call second Saturday Sundays. the beginning of the summer, I send a flyer out to all the neighbors inviting them to join us in the cul de sac on the second Saturday of every month for some ice cream Sundays. I created a plastic bin where I keep paper bowls, spoons, ice cream scoops, wipes, all the toppings, cups and napkins. So the day of the event, I just pull out the bin and bring a table, a trash can, and a jug of water down to the culdesac and set everything up. Everyone brings a chair with them so they have somewhere to sit. Whether we have one family or 10, we end up having an amazing time just hanging out together and relaxing with a bowl of ice cream together at least once a month during the summer. Well, y' all know I love this. I love a gathering. And also this is a great example of how you don't have to gather in your home around a table or for dinner, ice cream sundaes on the street all day. Man, let's do it. So this is so great, Andrea. Thank you for sharing and congratulations on being the lazy genius of the week. All right, as we close, let's have a mini pep talk on being lonely. If you are lonely, an episode about having people over is kind of a drag. You might be a person who wishes you could have people over, but there just aren't people. That is real. You have likely heard that we are in a loneliness epidemic. Frankly, I think that's why we have such division in our country, because we're just not connected to each other in a formative way. Loneliness breeds hopelessness, and hopelessness keeps us down for the count. So I want to remind you of a couple of things, especially if you were lonely. So many people are lonely. You're not alone in your loneliness. And what that means is that this world is bursting with people who want to be connected with. Now, it's not your fault that you haven't found them yet. But statistically, if 1 in 3 people feels lonely on a weekly basis and 1 in 10 people feels pervasive loneliness all the time, which is what the statistics say, there are a lot of people who need each other. We just need to keep an eye out, try some new things and go first. Art classes, volunteer opportunities, Book clubs run by your local library, Civic service, being a reading buddy in an elementary school. Saying hi to the person that you pass every day while walking your dog and doing that awkward thing of asking them their name so that you can start greeting them by name and maybe even one day, like striking up a conversation, going to church, or if you're taking a break from one, you find a Bama podcast group that meets. Since Bama is a place where many Christians are finding some comfort and hope right now, you can follow your city on Instagram and notice what the local events are and go to them. You can invite your co worker out for a drink after work and then maybe to dinner eventually, if y' all get along, you can go to a trivia night with people you might not know well, but you will know them better after the trivia night is over. I guarantee that. Go to an exercise class and put down your mat or whatever in the same place every time, because maybe the people around you do the same thing and then you recognize each other and you can become friendly with them. Now, sometimes this is so slow. Often it is also really discouraging. But if there was ever a time to start small, it's here. If you're feeling lonely, every single smile you offer someone else matters, even if it's just you being an open person. Every single class you go to without making a friend matters because it grows your muscles to try every single person you hang out with that you don't click with, it's just sifting through until you find the one that does. You might not come out on the other side of your loneliness with like a gaggle of friends that you go on vacation with, but you will be less lonely with even just one. And you're also making that person less lonely by being yourself with them too. So if you are lonely, I'm so sorry it's so hard. And also keep going. Stay hopeful. Look out, say hi, go first, start small, and be kind to yourself while you wait. And that's a mini pep talk for when you're feeling lonely. I hope you enjoyed this bonus episode on the Things I Do before I have people over, and I very much hope that that you have been inspired to make your own list. Even just one thing. Lean on one reliable choice that supports what matters to you as you have someone over in the simplest of ways. Remember, hospitality isn't about being impressive or grand. You're just welcoming someone in, feeding them and enjoying their company. Have so much fun doing that this summer. Thanks so much for listening to this bonus episode. This podcast is part of the Odyssey Family and the Office Leaving Network. This episode is hosted by me, Kendra Adachi, an executive produced by Kendra Adachi, Jenna Fisher and Angela Kinsey. Special thanks to Leah Jarvis for weekly production. If you'd like a podcast recap every other week, be sure to sign up for the latest Lazy Listens email that goes out every other Friday. Head to the lazygeniuscollective.com listens to get it. Thanks y' all for listening. And until next time, be a genius about the things that matter and lazy about the things that don't. I'm Kendra and I'll you on Monday. Hey, it's Jen Hatmaker. Here's what I've learned in midlife Joy isn't the reward you earn after all the work is done. Joy is the work. That's what this new series on for the Love is all about. The sacred yes. It's choosing delight, rest, and pleasure on purpose. Because saying yes to yourself, that's the thing that finally lets you fill your table with everybody else. Come find your sacred yes with me. Follow and listen to for the Love. Wherever you get your podcasts.