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This episode is sponsored by Primally Pure. Summer is the season of being outside, so I'm not trying to be afraid of the sun, but I do want to be thoughtful about what I'm putting on my skin. That's what I really appreciate about Primally Pure. They're a female founded company that pays attention to the ingredients, keeps things purposeful, and makes products that support your skin without being complicated. Their SPF collection is mineral based with non nano zinc and nourishing ingredients like mango butter and it's made without seed oils or synthetic fragrances. The Sun Stick is the product that feels especially Lazy Genius to me because reapplying sunscreen is where the good intentions usually fall apart. It's small, mess free, and designed to swipe on faces, shoulders, wherever you need it. Use Code Genius to get 15% off your primally pure purchase. That's www.p r I m a l l y p u r e.com and use CodeGenius at checkout for 15% off your order.
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This episode is sponsored by Feeding America. Every act of change begins with a neighbor, with someone saying, we take care of each other. Here in food banks and food pantries, neighbors pack fresh food and dignity into every box, moving food from farms to families through Feeding America's nationwide network. So when that box reaches a home, it carries more than food. It carries a promise.
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It carries that.
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Together, we can end hunger. Feeding America led by neighbors Give now to end hunger@feedingamerica.org
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hi there, you're listening to the Lazy Genius Podcast. I'm Kendra Adachi. This show is not about hacking the system to find more time or hacking your energy to get more done. Hustling to be the best or to make the most out of every opportunity is exhausting and unsustainable. So here we do things differently on this show. We value contentment, compassion and living. In our season, we favor small steps over big systems. Here we are, lazy geniuses, being a genius about the things that matter and lazy about the things that don't. And I am so glad you're here. Today is episode 470, how I'm making my summer plans happen. Every summer I go into the season honestly with big plans. The plans have gotten smaller and smaller each year as I've grown as a person and become even more of a lazy genius. That is still a learning curve. Every year as my kids grow and as our season of life changes, my approach to the summer makes sense for it to feel a little different each time. And it can even occasionally feel like I'm starting over. That is why I love using the Lazy Genius method to think through the summer and make those plans happen. And in the most Lazy Genius way possible, I'm gonna share with you our personal approach for our family. My family's actually going on our summer family dinner this very weekend to talk about all the things I'm gonna share in this episode and then I'm gonna tell you how it went in next week's edition of the latest Lazy Letter. So if you wanna hear about that, you can sign up for the letter. The method always works, but sometimes I'm kind of surprised at the results. So I'll be just as excited to hear about how this dinner goes as you are. After that, we'll have a Little Extra Something where I share some thoughts on my experience homeschooling. We get a number of episode requests about Lazy Geniusing homeschooling, and to be honest with you, I feel like pretty ill equipped to do that. I have never homeschooled my own kids, but I was homeschooled for a number of years as a kid. So I'll share a little bit about the kind of homeschool kid I was and a short bit on Lazy Geniusing that as an adult I can't give you a whole episode, but I will definitely give you a little extra something after that. We're going to celebrate the Lazy Genius of the Week with a great Decide once for gift giving and we will finish with a mini pep talk for when your kid is getting on your nerves. Before we do that, quick rundown of the latest Lazy letter. Okay, I think a solid number of you listening already get my monthly newsletter and you might also get the book list. So if you are one of the people who doesn't get either of those, here's the rundown because I really think you'll enjoy being on our mailing list. We are like weirdly vigilant about helpful emails and not sending them very often, so I think we're worth the risk to try us out. So I send two main newsletters per month, both on the same day. It's the first Wednesday of the month, so one of the newsletters is the Latest Lazy Letter, which includes like two or three personal stories from me. This month I'm going to share about our summer family planning dinner. I am going to talk about my daughter's cheering section at her three school musical performances, and I'm also going to share about my son conducting his own high school band in a piece that he wrote so many good things happening for this newsletter. The newsletter is also where we ask for your ideas and even like voice memos when we're working on new episodes. So if you have ever listened to an episode with someone else's idea or voice or the newsletter is probably where they learned to share those words. We also have a new segment in the latest Lazy letter called Reply all where I answer questions that you all asked from the newsletter the month before. So those range from like updates on my album listening project to how I feel about sharing the mental load in a home. I also share my favorite book of the month because I read too much to put all the book reviews in that one email. You all gave us that idea actually from a survey a while back to separate the book reviews into a separate email, which was so smart and we love that we have done that. So now all the book talk happens in the other monthly newsletter that we sent out, which is called the Book List. I read on average about 10 books a month and so that email is where I share the reviews of all those books I share. Like reading experiments I'm trying, how I'm getting out of reading ruts, all kinds of things. Like for this month I'm going to share my thoughts on what the narrator who took over the Inspector Gamache series after Ralph Kosham, the original narrator, passed away. I have some thoughts about that. I'm going to share about an author with a new book out who has written like five Star Bangers for me every single time. And some thoughts on the full cast audio Harry Potter series since I finished that this month as well. I also read Dungeon Crawler Carl, a book that is all over the place right now. If you want my thoughts on any of those things and you just like love to hear about books and reading, you can sign up for the book list@thelazygeniuscollective.com booklist if you want the monthly newsletter so you can read about how our summer planning family dinner went, you can sign up@the lazygeniuscollective.com join okay, so before we get into how I'm making my summer plans happen, let's take a quick break to hear from our sponsors, which makes the show free for you to listen to. And if you'd like the podcast recap email that we send out every other Friday called the Latest Lazy Listens, complete with an episode summary, the Lazy Genius of the Week, as well as other segments we have on the show, you can head to the lazygeniuscollective.com listens this episode is sponsored by Good Ranchers. I've noticed that dinner gets harder when I don't have a starting point. If I haven't meal planned and I open the fridge at the end of the day and nothing is obvious, things can start feeling overwhelming fast. That's a big reason I started using Good Ranchers. Having high quality meat already in the freezer makes dinner feel so much easier. I'm not scrolling through the grocery store app trying to figure out what to buy or if it's good quality. It just shows up at my door and it's 100% American meat sourced from local farms and ranchers. But mostly it just makes the daily question of what's for dinner a little easier to answer. Start your plan today and you'll get free meat for life and $100 off your first three orders. Or if you just want to give it a try, you can get $40 off your first order. Instead, just go to goodranchers.com and use my code GENIUS at checkout. That's $100 off your first three orders or $40 off your first order with my code GENIUS this month only goodranchers.com American meat delivered this episode is sponsored by Wayfair. I love a dramatic patio makeover as much as the next gal, but this year I knew I had a very specific outdoor problem to solve and future Kendra would be grateful. Wet Pool Towels. I've tried solutions in the past that worked well enough, but they never made the towels invisible. So I turned awayfair and my latest find is a metal fold out drying rack that attaches to the wall like a Murphy bed for wet clothes. I'm planning to use this for pool towels this summer and I am so excited. I and that's what I appreciate about Wayfair. You can find the big beautiful outdoor pieces, patio furniture, rugs, lighting, planters. But you can also find the practical things that solve the everyday problems of living in your space. Like the very humble but very important towel situation. No matter what you need, Wayfair has you covered. Get prepped for patio season for way less. Head to Wayfair.com right now to shop all things home. That's W A Y-F-A-I-R.com Wayfair every style every Home Wayfair Every Style Every Home all right, let's jump into how I'm making my summer plans happen. I always need to pump the brakes. We'll start there like every summer. I have a lot of angst around the summer around chores and Screen time and taking advantage of teaching my kids new things. I also still have a job to do. My husband, you, he, like, is home for part of the summer, but not all in the summer. We have camps and other things that just make every single week feel fairly inconsistent. It really is like trying to solve a new puzzle every couple of weeks in the summer. So it's a season that has helped me hold things loosely. Like, summer has taught me a lot about softness and relaxing and starting small. That said, I think it's okay to have, like, desires and even expectations about the summer. Now, of course, you want to match your expectations with the energy you're willing and able to give, right? But it's okay to have expectations. It's actually really important to speak those out loud so that they don't stay inside you unmet, and they just, like, fester and turn into anger and resentment. And that is why we start this whole process of figuring out our summer plans with the first step in the lazy genius method, which is to prioritize. You have to name what matters. What matters to you this summer, what matters to each individual member of your family this summer, what matters to you as a unit this summer? Expectations are a huge part of that. If something matters to you but it doesn't happen and you expected it to, that is not going to lead to a very happy you. So you must start by naming what matters. Now, you probably have a long list. So do I. But it's so important to know what matters the most. You can have several things that matter a lot, but I think the key here is narrowing down that long list into what, like, really matters. Like, top tier. But then actually, what matters the most for you as a person, individually, for each kid, if you've got more than one kid, for the family, for your partner, if you don't truly prioritize and name what matters the most as you make your summer plans, your attention, it will get divided, and you might not tend to the important thing as much as you would like. So how do you figure that out? Well, I'll share what I did and you can tweak it to work for you. I essentially, like, did a brain dump, but verbally out loud to my husband, Kaz, so that you could do this on paper, you could talk it out, you could write it out. It doesn't matter. But I think it's helpful to sort of get all the things that are swirling around in your brain out so that you can discern what actually makes sense as you move forward. So CAS and I have started going on walks after dinner now that it's, like, lighter for longer. And most of the time, it's just the two of us. Sometimes the kid will come, but mostly it's just usually so. On one of these walks, I just, like, verbally processed all the things I was feeling about our upcoming summer. I thought about our season of life. How we're, like, about to have two high schoolers and a fifth grader. Just crazy. We're in a season where our kids are becoming more and more independent, but also still need guidance and encouragement in life skills and in healthy boundaries. I also thought about my fears, of which there are a lot, and I was surprised by that. Like, I'm afraid that they're gonna have too much screen time and just rot every single day if we don't put parameters on things. I'm afraid that their attitudes are gonna be annoying and that I will deal with them unkindly day after day after day. I'm afraid that my kids have no discernible life skills, and they will leave here barely knowing anything about how to keep themselves clean or alive. I'm afraid that I will always be the one in charge, the one to keep things going in the summer. So I just shared all those fears with Kaz as we walked, and a couple of things happened. So first I realized that some of the things I'm afraid of don't need to be as big as they are. Saying them out loud sort of took the power away a little bit. My kids have life skills. They don't have all of them, but nobody does. Like, nobody does that. Like, my kids can do laundry. They can clean a kitchen and a toilet. They know how to use a vacuum cleaner. They each know how to cook a meal on the stove. Like, things are happening. Life skills are being learned. But in my own head and in my own fears, like, everything just felt too general and too extreme. You know how I've talked about extreme words? Like those dramatic words, words like always and everything, never, everyone, forever. Those words usually come from a place of fear, and they distract us from the truth of the situation. So, like, if you say to your partner, you never help me, that likely is not true. Never is a pretty extreme word. Now, you might feel like your partner never helps you, but extreme language doesn't help us grow or change or move towards each other at all. So, for example, on this walk, I was, like, super honest with Kaz. I said something like, I know this isn't true, but I do worry that I'm gonna be the only one to help remind the kids of whatever it is we're expecting from them. I don't wanna be the default bad guy because I'm the main one enforcing chores or screen time rules. I know I won't be. But I also need you to know that I feel like I might be. So if we're gonna do this, I need us to do this together. That's what I told him. So I was honest about my extreme feelings, you know, acknowledged that there was more space and softness in the reality of things than I currently felt. And I also expressed my expectations for help, for partnering. We have to remind ourselves of that every single summer. Kaz and I do that. We're partners because he isn't home most of the time during the school year because he's at work, you know, and it makes sense that I, as the one who takes care of the schedule and who is home the most, I work from home, I get the kids from school, I'm here in the afternoons. I do their morning stuff. You know, like, I'm sort of part of their daily rhythm more than causes just because of, like, logistics. So it makes sense that I would be sort of the captain of things more often than he is. But that energy changes every summer. We have to sort of recalibrate our expectations and our partnership because the logistics have changed. And it's good to be honest about that. When we're honest about that, it actually leads to a better partnership and more realistic, softer expectations towards each other when we talk about it at the start of each season. Okay, so we're still talking here about step one, about priorities, about naming what matters most. So this conversation, Brain dump. It was helpful to me in naming our season, naming my fears and also my hopes. You know, I shared with Kaz and frankly, myself, because, like, talking about things out loud, it helps me find what I'm thinking and I like. I want our family to have fun together this summer. I want us to laugh together, do things together on purpose on a decent, regular basis. So the season, fears and hopes, all three of those things play a role in what matters most and obviously, like, what's on the calendar. But you can see that pretty easily. The other three, you gotta think about a little bit more. Now, I don't know what matters to my kids yet because we haven't had our dinner to ask them. But I do know that what matters the most to cause is that we have fun as a family at least once a week on purpose. And what matters the most to me is that we each spend time every day doing something that shows care for someone else in the family. We're all pretty good at caring for ourselves. Like selfishness, even entitlement are not hard to find at our house. So caring for each other on a regular basis is a little harder to come by. And therefore something I personally want us all to prioritize. So we wanna have fun together as a family on a regular basis. And we also wanna do things every day that show care for each other. So we'll see what the kids add to that. So that's step one. Prioritize. Name what matters. Find that out however you want to. You can verbally talk it out like I did, so you can find where you land, you can write it all out. You can make a list of like, every possible option and then just start eliminating what matters less, you know? Well, I know this doesn't matter the most and just cross that out for this season at this time. What matters the most? It's so much easier to make summer plans happen when you know that it helps you know what to say yes and no to, which is a welcome sight during an unusual season. So step two of the lazy genius method is to essentialize. This is where you have what you need and get rid of what you don't. What are the essentials needed to support what matters most? Your answer to step one will obviously determine your answer to step two. Right. So if our two main priorities right now are like regular family fun and regular family contributions and care, let's say, then we need to eliminate a couple of things out of the gate. And most of them for real are just like, within myself. I want to get rid of my fear that my kids are going to have too much screen time. Guess what? If we are prioritizing family fun and family contributions this summer, screen time will naturally be impacted by that. I don't need to make as many screen time rules or really make screen time rules. Like the focus that's not the primary focus of this. And also that's gonna cause the kids to like, shut down. And it distracts from what actually matters the most. Right. Plus the fear and frustration, it's gonna cause more harm than good. I also wanna get rid of my generalizing and making things too big. I'm gonna catch myself when I do that. So if we have a specific priority of like family fun and family care, I don't need to have big plans for summer meals and schedules and whatever else. Like, let's get rid of that big stuff. Big systems don't work anyway, but they also don't really contribute to the priorities for the summer. Now what do we need? What essentials do we need to prioritize family fun and family contributions? Well, we need their input and we need their management. We'll get their input at the family dinner and then we will empower them to manage things in a way that aligns with their growing independence, which is part of our season right now. Right. We also need to add some specific ideas of things to do together for fun and things that help care for other people in the family and that can come from our conversation. Right. Like, okay, what are some things that would be fun for us to do? Do we want to do game night? Do we want to do a movie night? Do we want to go to, you know, whatever it is, or what are ways that you can care for your family members or for the house that we all live in? You know, I also think something we need specifically as a family is like, like regular check ins to see how this is going. It's really important to have a very fair approach to this and empower everybody to hold up their end of the expectations, you know, not just towards us as parents, but towards their siblings too. And we'll, we'll figure that out a little bit. We'll talk through that during, during our, our dinner about how to think about these check ins through the summer. That it feels really important to me that we don't just like slip back into like a summer of Saturdays, you know, that we, we really stay sort of locked in on what matters the most and that we have some regular check ins to, to make sure that everybody's sort of pulling their weight and nobody's feeling like things are unfair and that we're also still like having fun together and caring for each other, that we're checking in on those main priorities. Now we might have a few other things, of course, to like add to, to this list when we talk about as a family, but that, that's the essential, essentialized list for now. And really notice how so many of those things that need to go away are just like my, it's my own attitude. Like if I'm not careful, I can be the thing that keeps summer plans from happening in a kind way because of my own generalized lofty expectations and fears that we have to make this summer count. Guys, we need to relax. It's gonna be okay. And it's good to name that now at the start so that we don't get carried away by it. It's not Just good for us. It's good for our families as well. Okay, so that's step two of the lazy genius method to essentialize. What do you need? What do you need to get rid of? Step three of the lazy genius method is to organize or put everything in its place. So this is sort of where like the chore charts, the specific systems might live, but we're not actually doing those. Like maybe that can work a little bit for your younger kids. But I think implementing like full seasonal systems with lots of steps and pieces, it's just tough if you don't already have some kind of system that has grown and taken root in your regular life, like in your non summer life. So instead, here's how we are going to organize what we need for family fun and family care. We're gonna organize by using have to and hope to. There are things that have to get done this summer, like getting Sam a driver's license and getting Ben a permit. Wild times. There are also things we hope to do this summer, like that each kid learns one new meal to cook to help contribute to the care of the family. So once, once we have those summer tasks or projects or activities organized by have to and hope to, then it's easier to organize by when they can happen. So both of our boys are going to be at music camp the second half of July and they're going to start marching band camp at school in the beginning of August. So really we'll have to make some like family rhythm adjustments during that time. And that also means anything that's like a bigger project or a higher priority, it should probably happen in June or early July. Right? Like mid July is a good marker for us on getting those have to's done and really investing in our priorities of family fun and family care. So organizing this summer, it really just might include making a list of things we hope happen in June or like numbering them according to like priority, you know, just for that one off stuff. Like the most important thing that we're going to do in June is number one, this. And once we get that done, we'll move on to number two. That may be how we do it again. We'll see how it fleshes out when we have our planning dinner. But then there's also the, the rhythmic stuff like the organized family fun, organized family care that happen on a regular basis on like a daily or a weekly basis. And so we will also talk about that as a group about how to put those things in place in a very reasonable kind way. So it would Be like, you know, do we want to choose one night a week that's like our planned family fun night? You know, we can change it to another night that week if something comes up, but at least we have something in place. You know, I don't know if that's where we're going to land, but that is a good place to start and an idea of just how to put that priority in its place. Give it a day. Right. We'll also talk about how to organize family care right now. In our, like, school year life, everyone mostly tends to their own needs on a regular basis without a lot of prompting. Like your own rooms and their own laundry, but not really to the family as a whole. So we'll talk about how best to organize that. I. I am going to propose. I don't know that this will fly. That I'm going to propose that everyone has, like, one daily caring task for the home and one weekly caring task. And we'll talk as a group about how each kid wants to organize that for themselves. If we want to keep the same tasks all summer or if we want to rotate them, we'll just talk it out and see where it lands. But I think it feels like a reasonable expectation to have one daily thing and one weekly thing added to the stuff that they already have, since they're going to be home more in the summer than they are during the school year. But that's step three. Organize or put everything in its place. And that might feel a little like, well, I'm not really sure what that's gonna look like for me. That's why this is the third step. It's so important that you do this after the first two steps. It's gonna make a lot more sense once you get there. If you have already prioritized and named what matters and thought through what's in the way of that and what you still need to make it happen, you know, step three, in many ways, is the summer plan. And if you start making it before you know what matters, before you get rid of lofty expectations, before you name that, you need a list of movies that you can watch for movie night so that you don't lose the momentum of family movie night or whatever, like, you're really gonna have a hard time making that plan work. You're just putting things in place that don't actually matter yet, that don't have a structure to exist within. They don't have a purpose. Right. So the order here, it really does matter. All right, so we have prioritized Essentialized, organized. Step four is to personalize. So you've got to feel like yourself and so does everybody else. All right? Now, personalize is crucial because not every family is going to plan. Some are the same. And not every person in your family is going to need the same things. For example, one of my kids loves organization, order, routine. Like, he's built to love it. He executes things on his own. If he cares, he's going to do it. He just. He needs zero prompting. So my job is to help him name how he wants to support the priorities of family fun, family care, and whatever else he personally wants this summer. I'm not worried about him accomplishing those things on his own. Now, the other kids, they're likely going to need different approaches than that. They'll need different to have more fun added to things. They're gonna need variety. They're gonna need like that spinning wheel, you know, they're gonna need spontaneity. They'll need varying levels of helpful managing, not micromanaging from me and Kaz to help remind them of things. Personalize summer plans by letting people say what they need and work within what works for them. You know, let people choose what chore they want to do. Don't just assign things. Let kids pick for themselves. For example, something I'm hoping will happen is that every kid learns how to cook a new meal. That's a priority for me. And I'm gonna let them pick what that meal is. Ben already has decided. Cause we talked about it. He wants to learn how to make tikka masala because it's his favorite meal of all time. He says he would eat it every day if he could. Kind of same and he wants to be able to make it when he moves out of the house. I'm like, all right, man, let's do it. Now, I'm not going to tell him to pick something more suited to a dorm room first because he's not going to live somewhere where he can cook chicken masala for a long time. I'm going to let him pick, like pick what he wants to cook. He could also cook it now while he's still home, which is kind of fun. But the point is he can personalize that choice, right? You can personalize summer plans by having a bucket list, by having a hope to list of just fun things. You know, make a list to stick on the fridge. Or you can write. One thing that we really love to do is write individual ideas of fun hope to's like bucket list things on tiny post Its or like those little circle post, its the essential calendar. Folks sell them and we put them like on the side of our summer calendar, our paper calendar on the wall. And then we kind of move those sticky notes to dates where we think that that thing will work. Right? The point is, this summer, it is yours. It is your family's. It's unique because it is in this particular season of life and time. So personalize it. Don't just like, copy someone else's work. Make it work for you. Let your kids make things work for themselves even if those ways fail. Like, let them learn. Empower them to choose and support them as they figure out what they like and what they need. And then finally, step five is to systemize or to keep things in a flow. Honestly, again, I don't know what we're doing with this yet. This will come from our family summer planning dinner. But our family and yours will almost certainly use at least one lazy genius principle to keep that summer plan flowing. So here's my guesses of things that will probably work for us. That we've done similar things in the past. So we will likely decide once on what day of the week or the time of the day is for family fun. You know, we will likely have house rules. That's another lazy genius principle around family connection. Things like eat breakfast in the kitchen, not in your room. Sometimes in the summer, my kids just sort of like take their breakfast into their room because they're either like too tired still or they're. Let's. Let's stay in the living room, guys. You know, that might be a house rule that we have. We'll likely ask the magic question often and figure out what can we do now to make family game night easier later? You know, like, we pick a game in advance or we spin a wheel to decide the game or spin the wheel to decide who gets to pick. We might do the same thing for chores. Like, we might just use that digital spinning wheel for everything. I have no idea. But here's what I do know. For my family and for yours. You must start small. Planning an entire season isn't about putting everything in its place so that it will run like a machine. It's about naming what matters, putting things in place that support that happening, and then choosing lazy genius principles that make it flow more easily. But that's not gonna happen all at once. It happens one small choice at a time. So it's just really important to remember as you try and make your summer plans happen, just hold them loosely. Start small. Each Day with what you do and with your expectations around what you're doing. You don't have to build a big machine that's gonna run all summer. Start small today, see how today goes and adjust a little bit tomorrow. You make the plans not so that they will all happen exactly the way that you plan them, but you're just putting them in place so that you have somewhere to start. But you continue to start small each and every day. I also know that we're all going to need to embrace kindness. Kindness to ourselves and each other is paramount in surviving a season where everyone is always around. So the smaller you start and the kinder you stay, the more you're gonna enjoy whatever matters the most to you this summer. So as you systemize, don't overdo it. You know, start small by deciding one thing. Not 17. Name one routine on ramp, not 17. You know, schedule, rest in one particular way and try it just for the next few days and see if it works before saying, declaring that that's what's going to happen all summer long. The smaller you start, the more your system will naturally find its legs anyway. Start small and be kind. Okay, so let's review the lazy genius method once more so that you can use this to make your own summer plans happen. All right, you're going to prioritize. Name what matters about this season. It's helpful to know what matters most because it lets the other steps work even better. Step two is to essentialize. Have what you need and get rid of what you don't. You'll probably need to get some expectations and some micromanaging and some big chore charts out of the way. That's just a guess, but you'll see once you go through it. Step three is to organize or put everything in its place. You know, differentiate between have to's and hope to's. You can decide certain things are better suited for June versus July. Put things in their place as much as you're able, even doing it by category if you like, knowing that you can totally adjust things if you need to. Step four is to personalize. So make this work for you. What are the things that you and your family specifically want to do this summer? How does each family member specifically need to approach responsibilities? What does rest and fun look like specifically for each person? We never assume that one way works for everyone. So personalize these plans and how they might happen for you and your crew. And then finally, systemize. Use the lazy genius principles to stay in a flow. Start small, decide once, schedule, rest and be kind. Those are probably going to be your heavy hitters. Now. If you want a place to put all of this summer planning, you can check out the Summer Playbook. It has blank weeks where you can organize your lists. It has questions to help you name what matters. It's a great little keepsake after the summer is done to sort of capture your summer plans and notes. So you can check that out@the lazygeniuscollective.com playbooks and that's how I'm making my summer plans happen. Remember, I will let you know how the Summer Planning Family dinner goes in the next latest Lazy letter and you can sign up for that@the lazygeniuscollective.com Join this episode is sponsored by Quint. I love Quint because the things I have from them actually get used. The Italian leather sling bag is one of my favorite examples. It's classy, practical and works everywhere from carpool to to date night. I have sweaters, leggings, workout tops and jeans all from Quince. Recently I needed a fancy outfit for a work event and I went right to Quince for a silk top that looked like a million bucks but definitely didn't cost it. Quince uses premium materials like 100% European linen, organic cotton and ultra soft denim with linen pants, dresses and tops starting at $30. Everything is priced 50 to 80% less than similar brands because they work directly with ethical factories and cut out the middlemen. Refresh your everyday with luxury you'll actually use. Head to quint.com Genius for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada too. That's Q-U-I-N c e.com Genius for free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.com Genius this episode is sponsored by Whatnot. Selling online can be a lot of waiting around you. List the thing, upload the photos, write the description, answer the messages, hope the right person finds it, and then maybe it sells. Whatnot works differently. It's a live shopping platform where sellers can go live, show what they have in real time, answer questions, and sell directly to people who are already there to shop. So whether you sell beauty, collectibles, electronics, luxury fashion, cookies, or something else entirely, Whatnot gives you a way to build a real connection with buyers instead of only listing products and hoping for the best. Whatnot is the largest dedicated live shopping platform and sellers are building real businesses there. Small shops, side gigs and full time sellers included. And for a limited time, Whatnot will match your first $150 sold in the first month. Visit whatnot.com sell to start selling. That's W-H-A-T N O T.com sell whatnot.com sell. All right, for today's a little extra something, I'm going to give you a quick rundown of my journey as a homeschool kid. Ready? Also, why I've never been a homeschool mom. And then a couple of lazy genius principles I think would be really great for homeschooling families. So first, I didn't have, like, consistent schooling. I mean, I had consistent schooling in the sense that I was always educated, but it was always different places. So, like, I did. Let's see if I think this is right. I think memory serves correctly. It's like private school for kindergarten and first grade, public for the first part of second grade, then back to private school for the rest of second and third. I was homeschooled in fourth grade, private for fifth and sixth, public for seventh, homeschooled eighth, ninth, and tenth, and then public for my junior and senior years of high school. Like, lots of reasons why there were all of those changes, but it. It was definitely like a wild journey and not a lot of consistency in one one place. So I homeschooled in fourth grade, but I don't remember much of that. And then again in 8th, 9th, and 10th grades, which I do remember. I remember going to, for those of you who were homeschool kids in, like, the Carolinas, I remember going to the homeschool conference in Winston Salem and buying my curriculum. My mom told me what subjects I needed, but I pretty much got to pick, like, whatever setup I wanted for those subjects. I was a really independent learner, mostly taught myself. Those three years. I'd get up, I'd have my list of what subjects I needed to do. I would do my work. I would sometimes be done before our one hour lunch break where my sister and I would watch, like, black and white Alfred Hitchcock movies that we got from the library. If I did any school past that lunch break, it was usually for just like, maybe another hour or so. I think I really liked being in charge of my own education and my own time and have always been a good student. So it was sort of a natural fit for me. Now, my mom, like, definitely oversaw things. It's not like she was absent, but she was also teaching my little sister. She was dealing with mental illness at the time. It was just sort of easier, I think, to just let me, like, mostly take the reins for my own stuff. I think. And I liked being homeschooled for the most part. I liked the independence. I liked not having, like, social drama to deal with. And since I had a good community of friends at my church and even a little bit with some other homeschoolers, I didn't feel like I was like, running solo all the time. I didn't feel alone. Now, starting my junior year at a public high school, I definitely felt alone. That was like a tough transition. Socially, it was not. Academically, it turns out I was harder on myself than some of my high school teachers were on me. Now I know that there are a number, a high number of homeschooling moms and families who listen to this show. And we get requests pretty often for a homeschooling episode. Now, the reason I haven't made one before is that I don't personally know the challenges of being a homeschooling parent. And, like, I feel pretty poorly qualified to talk about it. There are so many other homeschooling experts out there who can offer way better help than I can. Part of that is because I've never, you know, done it, obviously, nor have I ever had the desire to. I think schooling at home is great. I have friends who do it. I have friends who do hybrid school where it's like in person school part of the week and then homeschool the other day. It's like, I think it's. I think it's great. I think it could be super helpful for certain kids personalities and learning styles. Especially for me. I knew pretty quickly that I was not made to be a homeschool mom. If my experience as the mom sitting in the passenger seat of a car with a new driver driving has taught me anything, it is that I have a tendency to micromanage in a big way. I'm like constantly wanting to tweak a situation and show the person how to make something better and not always with a lot of patience. So I've had to learn when to disengage from something entirely so that my kid can actually learn something. I did that with having a permitted driver. I continued to do that by like, letting my kids go to school where I am not their teacher. If I was their teacher, our relationships would struggle big time. Like, I'm just not wired to do that well. And I like the fact that I have good relationships with my kids. I kind of don't want to mess that up by muddying the waters and becoming a version of myself that is not great to be around every single day. So all that to say, my experience as a homeschool kid was unique. And then I like pretty much ran my own show. And then my experience as a homeschooling parent is zilch to the point where I have like run away from it a little bit. However, like anything, lazy genius principles work in every situation. And I think a couple would likely help in a homeschooling home. So the first suggestion is build the right routines when you do school at home. I think routine is really nice, especially to create a distinction between school days and weekends or even summer days. Like having a specific routine for a day of school. Especially for younger kids, I think that feels like a wise choice. Remember, a lazy genius routine isn't so much about like doing a certain list of things in a particular order. It's naming where you're trying to go and letting your routine, however it looks, be your on ramp to that goal. So if on school days you want your kids to be energetic and ready for a day of school, then your routine is gonna be more active and look than if you're wanting your kids to come to school peaceful and attentive. You know? Another lazy genius principle to think about for homeschooling is decide once. I know that when you're home all the time and when you're all eating there constantly, everyone is making all kinds of messes. Decision fatigue is overwhelming. You're like, I have, I have to just. I have to decide what to eat again. We have to clean up this room again. So decide once. Decide that lunch is always sandwiches and fruit. Decide once that cleaning up the school table does not happen until 2pm when the day is done. Decide once that you'll tidy after each subject, like, whatever. Just pay attention to where you're feeling overwhelmed and stressed out by whether or not you should do something. And then just make one decision one time and let it ride for a while. And finally, for the homeschooling parent, I would highly recommend using the principal schedule rest when you're home. And always teaching, parenting, cooking, cleaning, tending. I think it can feel impossible to find a time to rest. And guess what? You won't find it. You won't, because there's always something to do. So you won't find it unless you schedule it. So do that. Schedule rest for just you, for your whole crew. When it was all of us, we used to call that room time. Just in the summer. It's like, okay, it's room time. Everybody, everybody go to your room and be quiet for a little while. Whatever you do Schedule rest for yourself so that you can continue doing this lovely, challenging thing of teaching your kids every day. If you want some ideas on how to schedule rest, you can check out the episode from just a few weeks ago. Episode 458 simple and Meaningful Ways to Rest. It is an episode full of ideas on how to rest, and all the ideas are from you guys. It's so many great ideas if you need, like, a creative take on rest. So that is today's a little extra something. And yes, I did wear overalls and dresses with daisies on them when I was homeschooled. All right, for this week's Lacy Genius of the week, we have an audio clip from Joy about kids birthday presents. Let's listen to Joy's tip.
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Hi, Kendra. This is Joy. I have kids who are 5 and 7, and we spend a lot of time going to their friends birthday parties on the weekends. And this is something that really matters to our family. We value showing up for people. We value building community, especially with their school friends. And so we want to be there. But getting gifts for their friends was becoming stressful to think of something every time. So. So I came up with a birthday gift for friends formula where every single time we get their friends, at least in this stage, a set of our favorite gel crayons that we love to use at home for art and a coloring book or a book about how to draw something that they're interested in. And so every single birthday, I reorder the same crayons and together we pick out a coloring book or drawing book that we know their friend will like, and it just takes the guesswork out of it. Both things are easy to wrap. They look cute together. And so far it's been a hit, so we're gonna keep that going.
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Listen, there is nothing I love more than to decide once for gifts. It's, like, so great. It's one of the best uses of everyone's favorite workhorse of a lazy genius principle. So just pick something that works for now, just like Joy said, and then go with it. Now, I bet that once Joy's kid's friends get older, that gift might not work quite the same, but something else will. Or it can be adjusted a little bit. Like maybe the gel crayons turn into, like, cool pens or something, you know? But I also love that using this principle now with young kids, it's teaching them the value of this principle of just a single decision. So maybe when the kid gets older, they might have their own decide once for gifts for their friends. Like how much money they're going to spend or that they always do a food gift or something like that. It's like long term gains for everybody. I love this joy. Thank you so much for sending in your idea and your voice memo. Congratulations on being the lazy genius of the week. And now for a mini pep talk for when your kid is getting on your nerves. All right, if you want more than a mini pep talk on this, you should listen to episode 409, how to Parent when your kid is annoying. But I want to remind you of two things today. The first is that we are annoying too. Parents are just as annoying as kids are. Like, for real now, we might not feel like we are, although we are. I think that reframe has helped my parenting in ways I don't even understand yet. If I find my kids lack of interest in what I'm saying, if I find that annoying, if I'm frustrated by their disengagement or their lack of enthusiasm or whatever, it is pretty hypocritical of me because do you know how many times a kid calls mom and I answer with a begrudging? What? I can be just as annoying to my kid as I am annoyed by them. We're not like, better because we're parents. We might know more. We definitely have more responsibility towards them, authority over them, whatever. But we're not better people just because we're older. We can also be annoying. So remember that the next time you find your kid is getting on your nerves. I think it just really levels the playing field a lot. The second thing I want to remind you of is that so often whatever is getting on our nerves is honestly just the kid having fun. The problem is that they're having fun in a way that is annoying to us. That's like loud or messy or whatever. My daughter was doing water play with some neighbor friends the other day at their house. I walked over to like check on her to let her know what time to come home and she accidentally sprayed me with a hose. Now, I was joking a little, but I was like Annie Adachi. But I was also like a little annoyed that she got me wet. I did not want to get wet. I did not come over for water play myself. But she was just having fun. Now, of course it's good to like be considerate of other people when we're doing an activity. Of course. Especially when that activity involves a hose. But the point is I was totally annoyed by something that she was just having fun with. So later I apologized. I acknowledged the sharpness in my voice. Like, I didn't mean to sound sharp, but it didn't matter that I didn't mean it. Remembering that she was having fun, it helped me soften those edges a little bit and release something that, like, wasn't actually a big deal. I think the more we remember those two things, the less annoyed we will be by our kids and the more kindness and patience that we will have when we do need to talk to them about something that's like, legit annoying. But remember, we're annoying too, and they're probably just having fun. So the softer we stay, the less snappy we will be. And that's a really lovely thing. And that is a mini pep talk for when your kids are getting on your nerves. If this episode was helpful to you, or if you've been looking for a way to support the show, please share this episode with someone you know. Or you can leave a kind review on Apple Podcasts every mention and share. It makes a difference in turning more people into lazy geniuses. So thank you so much for your support. This podcast is part of the Odyssey Family and the Office Ladies Network. This episode is hosted by me, Kendra Adachi, and executive produced by Kendra Adachi, Jenna Fisher and Angela Kinsey. Special thanks to Leah Jarvis for weekly production. If you'd like a podcast recap every other week, be sure to sign up for the latest Lazy Listens email that goes out every other Friday. Head to the the lazygeniuscollective.com listens to get it. Thanks y' all for listening. And until next time, be a genius about the things that matter and lazy about the things that don't. I'm Kendra. I'll see you next week.
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Awe isn't something we need to travel for. It's something waiting for us in everyday life, whether in a city, street or a moment with a work of art. I'm Dacher Keltner, host of the Science of Happiness podcast. Join me for Cities of Awe, a special series on how our public spaces can spark awe, wonder, and enhance the quality of public life. You can find us wherever you listen to your podcasts.
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